Rubber King and Mirror Master
by Lonly Wanderer
Summary: What if Luffy had another older 'brother' besides Sabo and Ace, one who followed him on his journey to be pirate King? Between Monkey D Luffy and Serpens D Kaos, the Grand Line (and the Marines) won't know what hit them. Mutli pairings in future as well as extra crewmates.
1. 1st step towards the One Piece

LW: I really need to learn to stick to one story. But it won't be today. OUAT, DC/CW, HP/BLEACH, why not add another anime to the pile? Damn you Tekking101! Anyway, enjoy everyone.

Luffy: Hi everybody, One Piece is written by Eiichiro Oda, currently only Serpens D Kaos and his (currently unmentioned but at least implied to possess) Devil Fruit belong to Lonly. Please support the awesomeness of the Real One Piece as well as Tekking's manga reviews and info vids.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – 1st step toward the One Piece

A grinning Monkey D. Luffy bounced along happily as he made his way to the docks of Foosha Village, glad Marino was there as well as the mayor and a few others

'Good luck Luffy, try not cause too much trouble' she says, pinching his cheek and smiling as hissing laughter is heard from the boat

'Sesesese, given where we're going and what we're going to be doing, I doubt he'll be able to keep it for long' the older teen smirked, eyes hidden under his hat, moving over just before Luffy hopped onto the boat

'Still, at least try keeping your brother from doing anything too stupid too often okay Kaos?' Makino asks with a sigh

He laughs 'That's a full time job, but I'm fine with that' he looked over at the straw-hat wearing idiot he'd claimed as a younger brother years ago, if Luffy was heading into danger, then Serpens D Kaos wouldn't be far behind. Pushing his own hat down and wrapping his coat tighter around himself he called 'Time to go Luffy, before the weather has time to really screw us over'

'Kay' Luffy kicks them off then bounced to the front of their little boat to yell 'Look out world, here comes the future King of the Pirates!' smiling the entire time

' _Never abandon that dream Monkey_. Sea King' Kaos calls just as the creature's head pops up out of the water

'Hi Lord of the Coast' Luffy greets 'We're off on an adventure. So. Let. Us. Pass.' He orders, punching the sea king, causing it to screech and groan before sinking below the waves once more 'Away!' he calls cheerfully, Kaos just smiles behind him.

 _Later_

'You couldn't have chosen a worse day if you tried Monkey' Kaos complains as their boat is pulled into a whirlpool

'Calm down and get in the barrel' Luffy orders, the older boy sighs but does as he was told

'Fine just remember to seal it correctly; water doesn't agree with either of us these days' he replies with a sigh

A little later the barrel is found and brought on board a cruise ship, something common in the East Blue due to its overall lack of real pirate activity. A 'fact' that was either unknown to or more likely ignored by the owner of the bright pink ship that showed up alongside it. The cannons fired then the crew boarded, the pirate captain: a large woman in a cowboy hat grinned widely (as expected) before turning to the small pink haired boy beside her.

'Coby! Who is the most beautiful woman on the sea?'

The boy gulped and stuttered 'Y-y-you are Alvida' which made her smile grow

'Exactly, now prove it and get me their treasure!' she orders, Coby freezes in fear, minus his knees knocking 'Coby, do you need encouragement?' she asks, pudgy fingers wrapping around the handle of a large spiked mace, bigger than the boy's entire body.

'N-n-no Alvida' Coby yelps fearfully swinging to the other ship to away from the mace and its wielder.

How he managed to make it to the store room without being spotted Coby didn't know, but when he saw the barrel the sailors hadn't had time to properly store before being attacked he had an idea. Pushing it onto its side the fearful cabin boy began to roll it out of the room, until he was stopped by his 'crewmates'

'What you got there Cabin Boy?' One sneered while his friend righted the barrel

'A barrel, probably filled with booze. Alvida would want it brought straight to her, unopened'

'Well she won't know if you keep your big mouth shut' the 2nd grunted, preparing to open it with his sword, until it explodes and the pirate was knocked out by a solid punch to the face

' _Yawn_. That was good nap. Hm, wonder where the food is in this place' Luffy thinking aloud, turning and dropping into the storage, ignoring the 3 guys staring at him 'Yay meat!' he cheers before proceeding to stuff his face

'Who, who are you?' One asks, getting annoyed when Luffy continues to ignore them, until he drops it with a yelp, getting a deep gash on his hand for his troubles

'That's not a nice way to greet someone or to introduce oneself' was heard behind Coby, causing him to turn and Luffy to finally look up

The guy who spoke was a couple of years older than Luffy and a lot taller and thinner, pale with green eyes, dressed in comfortable shoes, black pants, and a ruby red shirt. On his shoulders was a deep purple cape/cloak with a shiny/reflective inner surface, his short purple hair hidden under a black fedora with a silver ribbon. The weapon was a khopesh with a serrated edge similar to a circular saw, attached to his arm by what looked to be a thick cord going from the hilt of the blade to somewhere under his sleeve

'Where'd you come from?' Coby asked, Kaos just points to the … well its shrapnel now after Luffy made his escape 'But, how'd you both fit in it?'

'It was roomier than it looked, not as much as it is now but still … ah dang it Luffy, look at the mess you've made of my coat' he grumbled, Coby seeing the cloak was creased in a 'spider on crack' kind of pattern

'Would you have preferred to drown?' Luffy retorts, jumping out of the cellar and tossing him an apple

'Hey quit ignoring us, can't you see we're pirates' the third finally spoke, his still conscious companion having retrieved his sword before they charged

'Luffy' Kaos hissed

'I got it' Luffy replies, Coby gulps and hides his head in his hands, hearing the clang of metal then silence. Looking up he is shocked to see Luffy unharmed, Kaos spinning his weapon on it's cord, and the 2 Alvida pirates holding half swords, one now sporting a cut directly across his chest. Looking down Coby sees the men's swords had been cut practically in 2 and those halves lay at Luffy's feet.

'I said I had it' Luffy complains while Kaos rolls his eyes

'Didn't look like it from here. Now do you guys have anything else?' he asks with a toothy grin, causing them to run out of the room as fast as they could, dragging their friend with them 'Hm, that was boring' he almost appeared to pout before like Luffy descended to the store room looking for food.

'What are you people?' Coby whispers, not expecting an answer

'I'm Monkey D Luffy, that's my big brother Serpens D Kaos. Hey, where exactly are we? Is this a pirate ship?' Luffy answers then asks his own question

'This ship isn't but it's currently being boarded and attacked by Alvida's pirates' Coby explained

'So are you a pirate?' Kaos asks from below

'Um not exactly'

'What ya mean?' Luffy looks confused

'I got on a fishing boat, didn't know until they reappeared it was a pirate vessel. I've been their chore boy for the last 2 years, doing everything they ask so they don't kill me' Coby says sadly, until something bounces off his head

'Sounds like you're either an idiot, coward or you've gotten complacent. I don't like you' Kaos says, a small smile still in place

'Luffy sighs; usually he's the stupidly blunt one, though Kaos has a point and actually got there before he could say something similar.

'It's true, I'm a coward. If only I could leave this place, even just in a barrel… wait, why were you guys in that barrel?'

'Ship got broken, idiot drove us into a whirlpool' Kaos answered

'But you should be dead!'

'Sesesese, probably but Luffy's not going to let something like a whirlpool stop him from achieving his dream'

Coby turns to the straw hat boy 'Really, what dream?' the question causing him to light up

'I'm going to be king of the pirates!' Coby just stares, jaw hitting the floor

'Pirate King'

'Yep'

'The Pirate King?'

'Yep'

'No, no way that's impossible! You're what 2 guys?'

'Actually yes' Kaos butts in, knowing if Luffy simply answered _yep_ once more the kid would scream

'The Pirate King is the man who has everything, every pirate in the world wants that Title and the treasure of One Piece that goes with it'

'Ah ha, us too'

'well Luffy does, at this point I'm just along for the ride'

'No, there is no way you can do this, no, no, no, no' Coby would've continued but he was a little busy being punched in the face 'Ow, why'd you do that'

Kaos shrugged 'Felt like it. Plus it shut you up didn't it?'

Coby frowns 'I suppose' the 2 pirates continue eating, seeming oblivious to the awkward silence 'Do you think I could make my dream come true?' he finally asks, Kaos and Luffy exchange side glances, then give very different answers

'Maybe, what is it?' 'How the fuck should I know?'

'My, my dream is to become a Marine. I've wanted to catch bad guys my entire life but I've been too much of a coward to go through with it. But no more, I'm getting off this ship, joining the marines and the first pirate I'm taking in will be Alvida's fa…' Coby was interrupted as the ceiling caved in, almost crushing the pink haired boy who Kaos pulled out of the way, Alvida falling through the hole she just made

'Coby! Should have known you'd be here' she grumbled hefting her mace onto her shoulder like it was an aluminium bat rather than a solid spiky bludgeoning instrument. She then looks up to Kaos and Luffy, both who have similar looks of confusion and slight curiosity on their faces, unlike Coby's blind terror 'I assume nether of you are Pirate Hunter Zoro?' she asks

'Nope' Kaos answers, causing an awkward silence which just had to end badly

'Hey Coby, who's the fat lady?' Luffy asks loudly, the woman in question turning bright red in anger, her crew's jaws on the ground and Coby's face turned white as a sheet. Kaos groans and face palmed

'Luffy, remember when I told you about filters?' he asked

'Only that you don't have one' Luffy replied

'Well neither do you, you don't just say things like that to someone's face. Now you've pissed her off and it's not even true, if she can use that damn club of hers with any skill she's got to have a good bit of muscle on her frame too' Kaos scolds just before Luffy grabs both him and Coby and bounce them through the hole, well outside the range of Alvida's mace

As the guy who pissed their (temperamental at the best of times) captain Luffy got all the attention from the pirates, allowing Kaos to quietly stand behind Coby (not that the runt could be used to hide behind or anything) and watch the younger pirate kick their collective asses, including using them as improvised bowling pins and ball. Unfortunately all that did was get them in one group, which charged as a single mob causing him to make a break from it. Luffy grabbed the mast as he turned, but instead of letting go or stopping like a normal person, his arm stretched as he ran, leaving a group of slack jawed pirates (and Coby) before he sprung back and slammed through them, the only remaining people standing being Coby, Kaos and Alvida (who had managed to climb back onto the main deck through the hole she'd made previously)

'What are…' Alvida began to ask before her eyes widen and she asks 'Akuma no mi?'

Kaos grins and Luffy nods 'Yep. I ate the Gomu Gomu no mi, I'm the rubber man!' he announces proudly

Alvida hummed 'I'd never thought I'd see one of them, before now they were just rumours, one of the many legends of the Grand Line and its mysterious terrors. You 2 bounty hunters?'

'I'm a pirate, so is he, he's my first mate but he gets bored easily and I like to hit things' Luffy answers pointing to Kaos who simply tilts his hat forward over his eyes

'So Straw Hat, if we're both pirate captains and we don't share a flag or a commander, I guess that makes us enemies'

'Really, can't we just be allies or rivals?' Kaos asks causing Alvida to laugh

'Oh you're funny at the least. If you had a real ship or crew I'd consider it but you've got less crew than I have deck swabbers so I might as well get rid of you now rather than later'

'Luffy! We need to go, now' Coby whispers to him, getting a little annoyed when he doesn't react 'You've seen how much damage she can do with her club and of all the villains of the East Blue…' he then stops, staring into space which confused the 3 pirates who were still listening to him.

'Go on Coby, tell them, who is the most beautiful in the sea?' Alvida encouraged with a wave of her free hand

'Boa Hancock' Kaos replies almost automatically, most of the still conscious group staring at him with sweat drops 'Wait were you not asking the audience? Hey Luffy Shanks said it was Hancock right?'

The rubber boy shrugged 'I thought he said it was Makino'

'No that was prettiest in the village… also it was in order to get discounted booze'

Luffy face palmed 'Oh yeah, right shishishi' he laughed

'Ahem' Alvida coughs, a tic mark forming on her forehead 'COBY! Answer the question!'

'She's… the ugliest thing in the sea!' Coby yells, Kaos once more face palming as Luffy grins like a loon

' _I wonder if there will be enough left of him to bury_ ' the purple haired man thought morbidly as Alvida began to steam

'You little shit, you're dead!' she screams, swinging the mace a lot faster than the Straw hats expected in Coby's direction, most likely spattering the kids head all over the deck if Luffy hadn't stepped between them. The mace hit him head on but Luffy just smiled under his hat

'That's not going to work' he singsonged, shoving aside her weapon to show he was completely unharmed 'My turn'

 **Gum Gum Pistol!**

His punch sent Alvida's bulk flying, throwing her off the ship and soar out of sight with a twinkle, and then hitting the water with a barely audible splash. Kaos would feel bad for her but she was definitely not a DF user and she clearly would have no problem floating (Do all the important characters get to make fun of Alvida's size in this chapter? I guess they do)

'Anyone have a problem with us taking Coby and one of your boats?' he asks, smiling when everyone shakes their heads 'Good, go get it!' he yells

The trio hop into the boat, Coby with a lot more screaming and flailing than the other 2, practically scaring the ever loving berri out of the orange haired girl in the boat beside them when they landed. Luffy waves cheerfully at her before heading off, all 3 wanting to be long gone before the Marines notice them.

'So where's the nearest marine base kid?' Kaos asks with a sigh, his hat shading his eyes from the sun.

'Um, I think that island over there is Shell Island, there should be one there' Coby answers, Luffy turning the sails to send them towards the direction he pointed, hoping they could find some more crew while they were there

TBC

LW: Well time to embark on an adventure of insanity, buckle up maties!


	2. 3 swords, a muppet and an arm axe

LW: Time for the demon swordsman to make an appearance. Anything you want to say Zoro?

Zoro: ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Coby: Um, Lonly doesn't own anyone other than Kaos, that's all for now.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – 3 swords, a muppet & an arm axe

The journey into Shell Town was surprisingly easy, especially considering the huge ass marine base on the island: either the marines at the harbour were slacking off, or more likely they took one look at the dingy Luffy and the others were sailing in and dismissed it almost immediately. Either way the end result was that 2 pirates and a pink haired scaredy cat entered their town undetected and were currently browsing in the market place.

'So where do you think we'll find Roronoa Zoro?' Luffy asks, everyone within earshot recoiling 'Well… that's bad' he mumbles

'It must be just because of how dangerous this guy is, if only his name effects people like that' Coby says with a shiver in his tone 'But someone like him will most likely be held deep within the Marine Base. I hear the one in charge of this one is one Captain Morgan' the locals recoil again

'That can't be good' Kaos comments, before shrugging his shoulders in an ' _Ah well_ ' sort of gesture

'There must be some kind of explanation' Coby tries to assure himself

'Yeah, that Morgan's not a nice man' Luffy supplies seriously, then he grins and walks towards the base 'Time to get me crewmate No. 3' he cheers

Coby watches the straw hat boy walk away at a loss for words 'What's wrong with him?' he finally manages to vocalise

'It's just how he is' Kaos answers, reminding him the older pirate was still there 'Luffy's a cheerful guy, he doesn't let the heavy stuff bother him most of the time. He's the rubberman, bad things literally bounce off him. Sesese well I better go after him, make sure he hasn't done anything to stupid yet'

They found him not much later, peering over the base's wall 'See anything you like?' Kaos asks to get his attention

'I think I found Zoro' he answers happily

'The guy on the cross? I don't know Luffy, the guy looks grumpy but I'm not sure he'll make much of a crewmate' he comments as he peered over the wall himself.

'I'm going to go ask him!' Luffy announces, but before he could jump over the wall, or the others could talk him out of it a ladder was placed against it and a little girl climbed up and over, then walked over to Zoro

'We need to get her out of there, or else he'll kill her' Coby yells, but the others grabbed him before he could follow

'Even if that were true, I doubt he's physically capable of standing right now, never mind hurting the girl' Kaos replies with an eyeroll, just before noticing new arrivals

'Oh good the marines are here' Coby says with a smile, which immediately falls when the blond fop in front stole the girl's riceball, spat it in her face while yelling at her, knocking the other out of her hand and stomping on it

'You there, people shouldn't be in with the prisoner, throw her over the wall' he shrieks at one of the marines

'But Helmeppo she's just a kid' he tried to argue only for the muppet to get in his face

'Are you disobeying me? When my father, Captain Morgan, hears about this you will be severely punished. Unless You Throw That Brat Over The Wall!' his high pitched wailing scared the marine so badly he picked up the girl and quickly tossed her over, the only conciliation being his whispered apology, and that Kaos stepped back in time to catch her.

'Thanks Mister' the girl said sweetly as Kaos put her down gently

'Don't worry about it, now come on let's head back to the… ah fuck' he swore when he saw Luffy had disappeared again ' _I wonder_ ' he thinks, jumping up and resting his elbows on the wall and sure enough there was Luffy talking to Zoro. Letting himself drop he turned and started walking towards the village again 'Luffy will be a while, lets find somewhere to eat, he'll join us eventually' Coby nods and the girl lead them to her mom's place

 _Meanwhile_

' _Dickhead_ ' Zoro thought to himself as Hellmeppo walks off, only then noticing the kid in the straw hat standing in front of him 'What do you want?'

'You're Zoro right? Are you as strong as they say you are?'

'Piss off kid' Zoro yells, but Luffy just smiles

'You know if I was in your position I'd have died after 3 days, you've gone nearly a month'

'Yeah I have, my resolve is that strong. I will survive this and leave these walls'

'Okay, bye!'

'Hey wait!' Luffy stops and turns his head 'Toss it to me' Zoro orders, gesturing (as well as he could) to what remained of the rice balls

'You sure? They look to be mostly dirt' Luffy asks, staring at the mess sceptically

'After 3 weeks the dirt itself is starting to look appealing, just give me the damn thing!' Zoro grumbled, Luffy nodding before scooping it all up and shoving it in the green haired man's face 'Oh yes. Tell that little girl, her food was amazing'

'He really liked it?'

'Yep, he said it was amazing, which considering it was at least half dirt by the time it got to him, the real thing must have been awesome' Luffy answers with a grin

'I wonder what Zoro did to be left there for 3 weeks' Kaos wonders aloud, noticing Rika tense out the corner of his eye 'You alright kid?'

'He he he's there because of me!' she whimpered, telling them how Hellmeppo used to have a wolf he let terrorise the village until while passing through town Zoro killed it defending her

'So to stop him punishing my mom and me Zoro agreed to be taken in and not eat or drink for an entire month…'

'Which is stupid, seeing as you can't go for more than a few days without water, the no food thing you can probably do' Kaos sighs (I checked/googled, it's physically possible but as the paragraph itself says, it obvious wouldn't be a pleasant experience)

'Then I guess its good it rained yesterday. Still if he can get to the end of the month he'll be set free'

'You know I have to admire his restraint, I'd have punched the dick'

'Shishishi, that's not true Kaos. I'd have punched him in the face; you'd have just stabbed him' Luffy comments with a laugh, only then he notices the blond guy with the butt chin from before had come in, catching the tail end of his conversation/monologue

'…I'm so bored, I hope Zoro's execution tomorrow will cure this for me…' Helmeppo froze and turned to see a boy in a straw hat and an older one in a black fedora glaring at him

'Executed, but what about your deal?' Coby asked in shock

Hellmeppo laughs nasally 'I never meant to keep that, it was just a way to get him to come quietl…' he was interrupted by a punch to the face followed to a swift knee to his balls

'You can't do this to me, when my father hears about this' he squeaks before hobbling off

'Luffy?' Coby calls, seeing the other boy's serious expression

'It's decided, Zoro is joining my crew'

 _10 minutes later_

'I'm not joining you're crew' Zoro answers flatly

'That's too bad, I already decided'

'Damn it you stupid brat that's not how it works'

'But I want you to; I hear you're the best swordsman in the Blue'

Zoro smirks 'Oh yeah I am, but that dickhead took them from me when they tied me up here'

'Hey I know, if I get you back your swords then you'll have to join my crew!' Luffy announces cheerfully

'That's blackmail!' Zoro argues

'Actually I think its extortion, eh not important, see you later'

'You're going the wrong way _idiot_ ' Zoro sighs, Luffy turning on his heel before backtracking

'So, you going to get those swords while Coby and I free our newest crewmate?' Kaos asks, pulling his khopesh from somewhere

'Wait! I didn't agree to help you guys be pirates' Coby complains/protests but gets a smack to the back of his head by Kaos

'Then stay out of sight and be a lookout, just don't get in the way' he grunts before noticing Luffy had already disappeared again ' _Damn it_ Monkey' he thought with a groan

Luffy ran off, realising he would have a better chance of finding Zoro's swords if he could find the blond idiot from before, seeing as he's the one who took them and all. Sneaking isn't one of Luffy's best skills but even he managed to get in and search the bottom floor with ease… mainly because nobody was there. Confused (and a little annoyed) he heard grunts and yelling coming from the roof and ran up to investigate

'That's it men, now bring it up with one big pull' Morgan grunts through his metal jaw, Helmeppo complaining beside him

'Dad why haven't you gone to kill the guy who hit me yet?'

Morgan ran his hand through his hair 'Do you know why I never hit you?'

'Because I'm your son? And you think I'm great?'

'No you fucking idiot, it's because you're weak and not worth hitting' he then backhands him with the blunt side of his axe 'There, feel better?'

'Wow, what a dick' everyone turns to see Luffy standing on the wall with a frown on his face 'Hey there you are, I'm going to borrow this idiot' he then grabs Helmeppo and runs out the door, the marines chasing after him.

Running around the base, (again) Hellmeppo's head bouncing off the floor every few feet, Luffy began his search for Zoro's sword. Eventually he decided to actually question what had until now been just dead weight

'Where is Zoro's sword?'

'I'll never tell you' he sniffed dismissively and turned his nose up. Luffy cocks back his arm 'Okay, okay. I'll tell you! They're in my room, we passed it 3 minutes ago' he shrieks, Luffy flicks his bruised nose

'You're a weakling' he states, just before the marines catch up with them 'Damn it' Luffy groans

 **Gum gum Scapegoat**

He stretches his arms out, holding Hellmeppo a safe distance between himself and the marines, the muppet screaming at them not to shoot as they make their way back to his extremely girly room

'Hm, 3 swords, wonder which one is Zoro's?' Luffy wonders, before seeing Kaos, Coby and Zoro were about to get shot 'No time to check, guess I'll have to bring them all'

 **Gum gum Rocket**

A few minutes ago

'Come on Kaos, they'll be here any minute' Coby panicks as Kaos tries unsuccessfully untying Zoro from his cross

'Yeah, yeah, yeah either help me or shut up' he grumbled 'Eh fuck it, these knots are too tight' he sighs before starting to cut through it with a small, scale patterned dagger

'Go away, I've still got another week to go' Zoro yelled, trying to make them leave

'Actually you don't, you're going to be executed tomorrow' Coby tells him, Zoro's eyes widen in shock before he growls

'That bastard!'

'Listen Zoro, I'm not telling you to be a pirate, but please just let these guys save you' just as Kaos cuts through the one binding his right arm

 **Gum gum Rocket**

Luffy (carrying Zoro's swords) drops down in front of them, perfectly fine, just as the marines opened fire. They were shocked when Luffy just stood there grinning, right before he rebounded all the bullets back at them, shattering their guns

'Hey guys, I'm back' Luffy calls, grinning as widely as before

'Who are you?' Zoro gasps

'I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be King Of The Pirates' Luffy announces with a huge smile

'Really? You're going to be king of the pirates? Do you have any idea what that means'

'King of the pirates means King of the pirates, what else can it means it's right there in the name?' Luffy asks

'It sounds crazy at first but he's actually serious about it' Coby half defends, Kaos chuckling behind Zoro's cross

'Luffy has every intention of becoming Pirate King or to die trying, it's going to be an interesting voyage' she says, adding his 2 cents.

'Any way, I got your sword back Zoro, but which one is it?' Luffy asks, waving them in the older man's face

'All of them, I use Santoryu, 3 sword style' Zoro answers with pride, while Luffy looks in awe

'That sounds so cool!' he cheers, Kaos chuckling while Coby looks on in confusion (As I did the first time I heard of 3 swords style) 'Hey you almost done over there?'

'Nearly Monkey, just a little more' Kaos grumbles at the strong ropes they used to bind Zoro

 _Meanwhile with the marines_

'What is he?'

'The bullets just bounced off him'

'That kid must have eaten one of those Devil Fruits we've heard about, fruits that grant the ones who eat them otherworldly abilities. There are many types in this world but almost nothing is known about them, though it's believed their secrets are somewhere on the Grand Line' Morgan answers, his men getting more and more worried

' _And that's exactly where I'm heading_ ' Kaos thinks with his signature smirk

'But it doesn't matter what he can do, if the guns don't work then cut him down!' Morgan orders, the marines rushing at the group with their swords

'Hurry up!' Coby yells fearfully

'Almost, GOT IT!'

'Give me my swords!'

 **YAAAAAAAAH…** _thunk_

The marine's blades were all stopped by Zoro's 3 swords, it clear despite the time spent starving himself he hadn't lost any of his strength

'So that's how you use 3 sword style' Kaos grins in amusement, Luffy smiling like a loon as usual, while Coby tries to get his heart back to a normal rhythm.

'Now I'm a criminal for defying and fighting the marines I'll join you loons. But know this; I'm going to achieve my dream of being the greatest swordsman, you do anything to make me deviate from that path I will cut you down'

'How about we just beat aomw sense into you until you're back on the right track again?' Kaos gives as a counter offer, causing the green haired swordsman to grin around the hilt

'Works for me, but I won't go down easy even then. So what are your orders, captain?'

'Luffy's eyes harden 'Duck' he says lowly, Zoro raising his eyebrows until Luffy lifts his foot at which point he complies

 **Gum gum whip**

Luffy's rubber leg tossed the marines aside like rag dolls, freeing Zoro and flinging them back at a steaming Morgan

'Incompetence! I'll deal with you myself' Morgan yells arrogantly

Luffy ran full pelt at the Captain, his rubberised punch blocked by Morgan's Axe hand, which he dodged a swing from. Not letting the fissure it caused distract him, the straw hat jumped into the air and planted both feet on Morgan's face, bringing him to the ground. He then proceeded to whale on him, repeatedly using stretched punches to do more damage while not going to the point of using the named techniques

'Straw Hat!' Helmeppo screamed, Luffy catching him out the corner of his eye 'Stand down, I have a hostage! If you don't want your friend to die you'll surrender right now' he threatens, but the gun to Coby's head wriggled in his shaking hand.

'Well, well, the idiot has some skills after all' Kaos smirks mirthlessly, spinning his blade between his fingers as Luffy drops Morgan and starts walking

 _If I die fighting for my dream it's all worth it_

 _Luffy's not going to let something like a whirlpool stop him from achieving his dream_

'Luffy!' Coby yells 'Don't worry about me; if I die it'll be okay'

'I know, but you won't' Luffy says, inching closer towards them, unaware Morgan was pulling himself to his feet

 **Gum gum pistol**

'You brat, I am the greatest!' Morgan yells, swinging his axe down on Luffy's head only for it to be caught by a reflective, silver hand grabbing his forearm

'Don't touch my little brother asshat' Kaos hissed, his smile gone just before punching Morgan in the jaw with another oddly coated fist. On top of the beat down Luffy had already given him, the punch ensured Morgan wasn't getting up again anytime soon. Together (because he took one more step and nearly collapsed) they brought Zoro back to the little girl and her mom, to feed the swordsman.

 _Later_

'Ahh, food has never tasted so good' Zoro groans as he ate his fill, Coby and Kaos already done while Luffy continued to stuff his face

'So Coby, you guys going to sign up now?' Kaos asked, surprised when the pinkette visibly deflated

'Yeah I know you guys didn't like me around and I was just a loser and a burden…' he stops when he feels hands clamp down on his shoulders

'Idiot! You're not a burden, you're a good kid and you are brave, you stood up to Helmeppo and Morgan, you'll make a great Marine one day' Kaos say honestly… before flicking him in the forehead

'You better try rise through the ranks quickly Coby, the King of the Pirates should only be caught by the best' Luffy grins and Coby tears up in happiness

'Excuse me' the group turn to a man in a marine uniform 'I couldn't help but overhear, you guys are pirates?'

Luffy nods 'Yep, me, Zoro and Kaos' he points to each in turn

'Okay. Now we are happy you stopped Morgan, but now we know you're pirates we need to ask you to leave. Though in light of your recent actions we won't inform Navy headquarters' the villagers yelled angrily but the pirates just stood and turned to leave

'That's fine, we're not heroes, we're pirates. We were just passing through and took out Morgan for being a major dickhead. Goodbye guys'

Ripper then turns to Coby 'And you are you with them?'

'Does kidnapping count?' Kaos asks _innocently_ , all the colour draining from his face

'What?'

Luffy grinned widely 'You see 2 years ago this guy…'

'Shut up!' Coby yells, punching Luffy in the face, realising a second too late how much he'd screwed up when he was lifted and thrown through the window. Kaos began to step towards him when he was stopped by 2 sword wielding marines, as Ripper sent 2 others to pick up Coby

'Well it's clear you people aren't friends by any means, so get lost pirates! What were you doing here anyway kid?'

Coby was frozen as he looked over at the others; Luffy was unharmed and grinning, while Kaos was always smirking but it looked warm and peaceful. 'They did it on purpose, give me my best chance' Coby thought, doing his very best not to cry 'My name is Coby and I wish to join the Marines, Sir!'

TBC

LW: Well that's the end of Zoro's intro chapter, everyone still happy to read this? I'll try to add a chapter between every week and every 2 weeks (just getting in on that deadline tonight)

 _ **Reviews will be answered and new abilities**_ (minus the simpler of canon ones) _**will be explained down here in all future chapters**_

Actually in hind sight some people like a friend of mine aren't that familiar with One Piece in detail, just the series as an overall thing, so I'll just start explaining things from this point on at the first instance of any of the main characters attacks/moves/skills.

 _ **Techniques/Devil Fruit abilities**_

 _ **Luffy**_

 _ **Eaten the Gomu Gomu no mi/Gum Gum Fruit.**_ Basically his body has turned to rubber and he's supper stretchy

Gum Gum Pistol: Stretching his arm back several feet then swings it back as he punches his opponent.

Gum Gum Whip: Stretching his leg as he performs a wide kick, knocking back anything within range

Gum Gum Scapegoat: Not the same as the anime, mostly because he holds onto the person her grabs and uses them as a human shield as apposed to throwing them at the opponent (I have till Marineford to rename THAT technique, I'm thinking Gum Gum Substitute… eh it'll be a few years at this rate)

Gum Gum Rocket: He grabs something sturdy (the window in the case of this episode, but anything he can use as a hand hold), walks back and then bounces out like a rubber band that's been let go. Luffy's primary form of speedy transport (such as going from the roof to the ground)

 _ **Zoro**_

Santoryu: A form of sword fighting involving 3 swords (Hence the obvious other name of 3 sword style), one in each hand and the 3rd clenched between the fighter's teeth. Zoro is proficient in this style, it being is signature and all, but he is also capable of using Nitoryu (2 sword style, or dual wielding to some of us) as well as Ittoryu (1 sword style, or swinging a sword around like a normal person) just nowhere near as good as his 3 sword style.


	3. The circus is in town

LW: Well here we are, chapter 3. Nami, you want to do the intro?

Nami: Sure, that'll be 10,000 beri.

LW: (Sweatdrop) I'll just start the chapter

Nami: (Grumbling) Cheap bastard

Rubber King and Mirror Master – The Circus is in Town

We find our heroes (?) sailing in a random direction due to their captains terrible navigation skills and the 2 19 year olds were currently trying to ignore the youngest's loud complaining about being hungry, something they'd feel more sympathy for if he hadn't eaten most of the food himself.

 **Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. tap.**

'Zoro opens his eye, looking over to Kaos as he taps his blade against his thigh

'You know, that's quite a unique looking thing, so I'm guessing it's not just some nameless scrap. Want to share?' he asked, he may not know all the high grade swords but still it was worth a shot

Kaos chuckles 'It has a name; I just rarely give it out. I'll tell you what it means though: Eye of the Serpent Demon'

Zoro snorts 'Damn flowery forgers, can't they give things simple names?'

'And what does your sword's name mean?' Kaos asks, pointing to his white katana

Zoro sighs ' _ **Wado Ichimonji**_ , Straight Road of the Harmony'

Kaos grins 'You were saying?'

'Hey look a bird, that means land, which means food' Luffy cheers, bending his legs before either of the 2 could stop him

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

As Zoro and Kaos fight to keep the boat the right way up, Luffy catapulted himself up to the bird

'I got it… nope it's got me'

'Luffy! Damn it you idiot'

'I'll row, you make sure we don't lose the moron' Zoro orders, Kaos nods and moves to the front, not taking his eyes off Luffy, his hands itched, wanting to shoot the bird down but knew they wouldn't get to him in time to stop him hitting the water.

Most likely because due to the mildness of the East Blue they were able to keep up with the bird, or at least it hadn't gotten much further away and was still within sight. They might have even been able to follow them back to land, were it not for 3 loud distraction

'Help'

'Save us'

'We're drowning!'

Both guys looked down to see 3 people dressed in carnie gear and clown makeup, flailing around, begging for assistance. Kaos sighs

'Get in the boat, we're not stopping!' he yells, Zoro taking the hint and kept rowing as the 3 guys scramble into the boat without being hit by it

'Oy, you could have killed us!' One with a painted frown yelled

'That's nice now excuse me I need to find our captain' Kaos waved his hand dismissively, not even turning when they drew their weapons

'Don't ignore us! We're Buggy pirates and we're taking over this vessel'

Kaos raises an eyebrow before turning, his eyes shine for a moment, then with a lazy swing of his khopesh slices through their cutlasses.

'Be quiet. Ah crap' he swears, the bird no longer in sight 'You idiots lost us our captain. Where's land?' he asks angrily

'Why should we tell you?'

'1: You most likely also want to reach land, 2: I won't start cutting you' he threatens, but Buggy doesn't recruit people for their brains so even after the previous display they weren't intimidated (Brave or stupid, take your pick)

Zoro sighs and stops rowing 'Give me a minute' he says as he stands up

 _2 minutes later_

Now sporting several bumps, bruises and black eyes, the pirates frantically rowing towards Orange Town

'We're sorry to have disrespected the mighty Pirate Hunter Zoro' the centre one apologised, a light, fearful smile on his face

'That's nice. What do you know about pink birds? Do they fly over the village?' Kaos asks, now lying down staring up into the cloudless sky

'Sometimes, Captain Buggy has us fire on them if they get too close to the Big Top, but other than that we leave 'em alone'

'And this Captain Buggy, anything worth knowing?'

The crew swallow 'He's a monster of a man, ruthless and sadistic in his manners, plus with his Devil Fruit Power he's practically unstoppable. If you go up against him you're de…AHHH!' the centre pirate screams before he looks down at his leg, forgoing his blade Kaos simply stabbed his hand THROUGH his leg, nearly tearing it in half

'He's not the only one' he says in a surprisingly neutral tone'

 _Meanwhile thousands of…. Meanwhile in Orange Town_

'Hey get back here!'

'Give us the map girlie and we won't have to hurt you'

'That map's ours, we stole it first!'

' _Shit, shit, shit, shit_ ' Nami swore internally as the burley circus rejects chased her through the village. The 3 pirates nearly catching up when they all heard yelling, stopping just as something fell from the sky with a loud crash, forming a crater and a dust cloud. Despite it being a perfect distraction Nami's curiosity made her stay, so when the dust cleared she saw a familiar straw hated boy standing between her and the Buggy pirates, when he turns they both think the same thing

' _You again?'_

Thinking fast Nami puts a plan into action 'Hey Boss, glad you could make it, I just got the map like you asked. Mind taking care of the goons for me? That'd be great' she says with a wide grin before running off, finding a high vantage point with which to hide (as nobody looks up EVER)

'The girl got away'

'Well did you hear her, this guys' her boss, he must have something good'

'Yeah, lets take his stuff, find the girl again and bring all their loot back to Buggy'

The 3 pirates charge at him but Luffy destroys them, 2 with elasticated punches and the 3rd kicked into a wall

'I'm hungry' he mutters to himself, not at all effected by 3 people trying to kill him

'Wow I thought they'd kick your ass but you took them down easy' Nami comments from the rooftop

'Hey you're the girl who set me up, who are you?'

'Nami. I'm a pirate thief, wanna team up?' she asks with a smile (Stealing is wrong…unless it's from pirates)

Luffy looks blanky at the girl 'Um thanks but no thanks lady' he then turns and walks away, Nami hopping down and running after him

'Hey wait a minute' Nami yells, catching up to him mostly because he stopped walking

Luffy slumps to the ground 'I'm still hungry' he moans

'I could make you something' Nami offers, causing Luffy to spring up excitedly 'What's wrong with this guy?' she thinks

'Really? Thanks' he grins widely

 _Later_

'I kind of thought you'd be something more interesting than a petty thief' Luffy complains, getting a slight tap on the head 'Ow'

'I'm not just a petty thief, I'm a Cat Burgler, swiping from the shadows without anyone the wiser'

Luffy shrugs 'A thief is a thief in my eyes, you steal shit from people, what's the difference?'

'Plenty! Though I wouldn't expect a pirate to understand finesse or subtlety' Nami argues, turning her nose up until she realises Luffy is laughing at her 'What's so funny?'

'Shishishi. 2 things: One; you get very angry when people generalise thieves, but are more than happy to generalise pirates as big ugly brutes. Two; by your own definition you're more a thief than a cat burglar, being caught by both the Buggy pirates and me' he grins widely until she punches him again

'So Navigator, will you be able to take us through the Grand Line one you have the map?' he asks

'Hey, I didn't agree to anything!' Nami yells

' _ **Hey Boss, glad you could make it, I just got the map like you asked. Mind taking care of the goons for me? That'd be great**_ ' Luffy imitates 'that's a formal agreement amongst criminals like us, after all in our line of work our word is our bond'

'Like pirates know honour' Nami scoffs

'About as much as a thief'

'Blatant stereotyping!'

'World Government propaganda' Luffy argues back

'I will never be a pirate, those people sicken me. The only thing I hate more than pirates are marines' Nami yells before turning away in a huff

'Jeez, what's got your panties in a bunch?' Luffy mumbles, not actually directing the question at Nami as he resumed stuffing his face and filling his belly

Nami spots some of the Buggy pirates just outside the house they were hiding in, figures with how valuable the map was they wouldn't just let her go, she needed a plan. Turning back to the oblivious Straw hat with a greedy smirk

'Okay Luffy, I'll join your crew, but just for now and I'll need you to help me with something. You up for some method acting?' she asks then before he could react he's secured quite tightly with ropes

'Um Nami, why did you have all this rope?' Luffy asked, Nami flushes and blusters a garbled mess of sounds 'Don't worry, I don't judge' he smiles, only getting punched in the head once more

'Just shut up and act like a prisoner'

 _The Big Top_

'You mean to tell me that not only did you lose the map, but you let the girl escape!' a blue haired man in clown aesthetic, red nose included yelled. This was Buggy the Clown, Captain of the Buggy Pirates, and currently getting madder by the minute 'Time to die!'

'Please don't kill us Captain Buggy!' the pirates plead as they beg for their lives

'Fear not Captain Buggy, I caught the thief!' Nami announces as she leads a bound Luffy through the group, breaking the mood and luckily snapping Buggy out of his murderous rage

'Well this is quite a surprise, what has led to this change of heart Missie?' Buggy asks in slight amusement as Nami returns the map to him

'I was arguing with my boss _**again**_ , I realised I needed to change things up, so here I am' she waves her hands dramtically 'I was hoping I might be able to join you guys'

Buggy starts to twitch, getting several of his crew mates worried he was going to snap… until he started laughing manically

'You want to change things up? Join a new crew? Well of course little miss, you seem like quite a bit of fun indeed' he announces, he crew cheering, some just in relief.

Nami grinned at Buggy's gullibility when she was conked on the head and collided face first into the ground ' _Ow_ '

'Oh Luffy, what mess have you gotten yourself into this time?' Nami turns her head and sees a purple haired man talking to Luffy

'Hey Kaos, little tied up at the moment' Luffy grins

'I can see that. It's one thing after another with you Monkey' he sighs then his eyes catch the demented clown 'Captain Buggy I presume?'

Buggy puffs up like a peacock 'Why of course I am, it's wonderful how tales of my greatness reach the far reaches of the Ea…' he then noticed Kaos wasn't paying him the slightest bit of attention 'Hey! Don't ignore me!' he yells

'Oh Luffy what am I to do with you? Maybe it's best if I just cut my losses' he sighs and reaches into his cloak

Luffy flails around on the ground 'No! We're supposed to explore the Grand Line together, go on an amazing adventure as brothers'

Kaos laughs 'In case you haven't figured it out the Grand Line is Hell on Earth, our brotherly army of 2 isn't going to cut it. Probably better I end this before it gets us both killed' he pulls out a gun

'Wait! You can't do this'

Kaos blinks 'You're right' he removes Shank's hat from Luffy's head 'Can't let this get damaged and red hair wouldn't want it back with a bullet hole or covered in your blood'

'Stop!' both pirates look at Buggy in surprise 'A captain shouldn't die in such an un-flashy way. Men, bring out the Buggy Ball!' he orders, Kaos and Luffy look at one another and shrug

The cannon was loaded and fired, to which Kaos had no other response available but to whistle 'Damn! Okay Captain, you've officially impressed me'

'That's all well and good but you still haven't given me a reason to let you join a crew as flashy as mine'

Kaos grins 'Well how about the guy who ate the Senko Senko no mi? I'm the flashiest man alive. Sure it was only a few weeks since I did so, so I've not fully worked out its capabilities yet but I do have this…'

 **Flashbang!**

He splays his fingers in an explosion mime and everyone was blinded by a bright flash of light, the only exception being a grinning Luffy who knew what his brother was about to do so closed his eyes and tilted his head down

'…and I move and react quicker than I used to, which is probably why my fruit is considered the little sister of the Pika Pika no mi, that and I can't shoot lasers from my fingers, as far as I know'

Buggy laughs 'Well that definitely is what I'd call flashy. Welcome to the crew kid' his smile then turned into a feral grin 'You just need to pass your initiation

 _10 minutes later_

'Hey, why am I in a cage?' Luffy asks

Kaos shrugs 'Beats me, if you hadn't escaped by now you weren't going to'

'The Buggy Ball is reloaded Captain'

'Excellent, now Kaos light the fuse and the Buggy Ball will blow your former captain away flashily'

Kaos and Luffy stared at each other, then the younger smiled and nodded so he lit the fuse

' _He's going to vaporise his own brother, and I didn't think pirates could sink any lower'_ Nami thinks angrily, wishing she was anywhere but beside the cannon, but Buggy wanted her in line of sight

All was fine, right up until Buggy pirates started getting tossed around as a green haired man made his way to the cannon, Kaos and Nami.

'ZORO!' Luffy cheers/yells happily

'I really didn't think I'd be returning the favour of saving your ass quite so soon Luffy' Zoro replies neutrally

Kaos sighs of relief 'Zoro, I was beginning to think you were never going to show up' with a swing of his blade he cut through the fuse in 2, the end burning on the ground feebly.

'Pirate Hunter Zoro, here for my head I presume?' Buggy asks

'Nah, I'm not in that business any more, just looking for my crew. First this idiot gets caught by a bird, then this one just straight up disappears'

'That may be true, but killing the legendary Zoro would do wonders for my reputation, make my goals that much easier to achieve'

Zoro tilts his head 'You can try, but you won't last for very much longer if you do'

Buggy cackles 'Is that so, let's find out'

Both men get into their battle stance, Zoro moving Wado into his mouth, as Buggy pulls several knives from his coat. The clown pirate then runs at the swordsman who stands his ground and locks his position

'Die Flashily!' Buggy yells, leaping at Zoro, the green haired swordsman not reacting to the clown as he splits him in 4; removing his right hand and left foot, as well as splitting him in half at the waist, the pieces falling to the ground with a plop

'Well that was boring' Zoro complains

'Ah damn it, I wanted to see what his Devil fruit powers were' Kaos sighs 'Well guess I'll have to wait for one of these chuckleheads to eat it again' he mutters, only then hearing the steadily increasing volume of laughter 'Did I over think again and miss a joke or something?'

'Their captain is dead and they're laughing' Nami repeats in confusion

'I don't like this, something doesn't feel ri-gurk' Zoro grunts, falling to his knees. Looking down he was shocked to see Buggy's knife sticking out of his gut, the clown had stabbed him in the back. And that was just the start as Buggy's separate parts floated up and stuck themselves back together as thought Zoro hadn't done anything

'It seems someone told you I had a Devil Fruit, unfortunately for you they weren't stupid enough to tell you it's name. I ate the Bara Bara no mi, now I'm a split human so I can't be harmed by a sword. Bwahahahahaha!'

'He's a split human, that's weird' Luffy thinks aloud, Kaos groans in annoyance

'That may not have been a lethal hit, but you're not exactly going to be walking away with an injury like that. So it appears that I am victorious' Buggy cheers, his crew joining them

' _Blades are out, but what about a more blunt force approach?'_ Kaos wonders, his weapon idling spinning in his hand

'Let my guard down, damn Devil Fruit users' Zoro growls through the pain of his wound.

'A knife in the back's a dirty trick, you Big Nose!' Luffy yells angrilly

Everyone gapped, except Nami who was reminded when boot meets arse, face meets floor.

'Hey what the fuck was that for?' she yells

'Couldn't reach Luffy' Kaos answers unapologetically, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

'What did you say? Die you flashy bastard!' Buggy yells, throwing his knife at Luffy, but the rubber boy catches it in his teeth

'Hey Buggy' Luffy garbles around the knife 'When I get out of this cage I'm going to kick your ass' he then bites down, breaking the knife.

Buggy laughs 'As if, no instead all 4 of you will die, right now in fact, by my hands. So if you plan to kick my ass you should probably do it now'

'No, I refuse to die!'

Getting Zoro's attention he points to the cannon, then Buggy, Zoro smiling despite the pain 'You're as crazy as Luffy, but it should work'

Buffy leaps at Zoro who manages to keep him at bay with his 3 swords, though he knows he can't actually injure the clown he can at least stop him doing any more damage. With a nod from Luffy Zoro cleave Buggy in half once more.

'You idiot, that 3 sword style may look impressive but it's no match for the Bara bara no mi, just give up and I'll make your death… hey where'd you go?' Buggy yells angrily when he see's Zoro has disappeared, right until he turns around

Kaos runs while Zoro shambles over to the cannon, both gripping the underside and with a colossal heave managed to flip it.

'They tipped the cannon'

'Why'd they do that?'

Buggy freezes, then flails wildly 'There's still a Buggy Ball in the cannon!' he yells just as a smirking Kaos pulls out a lighter and sets off the now much shorter fuse

 **KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

TBC

Yay, first cliffhanger I think… oh well.

 _ **Character information**_

Buggy the Clown

 **Eaten the Bara Bara no mi/Chop Chop fruit** : Enables his body to split apart and can't be harmed by sharp force trauma (swords, knives etc), the body splitting harmlessly where it would be damaged and being able to easily reattach itself once the blade leaves his body

Zoro

 **Wado Ichimonji** : O wanzmono grade sword with a white hilt, circular guard and is a straight blade. The blade usually held in his mouth

Kaos

Eaten the * * no mi/ * * fruit. Yeah you're going to have to wait for that one, also yes he was screwing around with Buggy when he said he ate the Flash Flash fruit given the pirates obsession with things being flashy.

 **Dazzle** : The real name of the techniques Kaos referred to as **Flashbang** (which was its original name, until I had a better use for that name. Helped it had a secondary move known as moon dazzle, so the name change was easy)

Thought now was as good a time as any to tell you my thoughts on Special Paramecia class of Devil Fruits. Anyone who isn't up to date with the manga will not understand, but in the current arc there's a Devil Fruit User (Charlotte 'Dogtooth' Katakuri) who was originally a logia, then reclassed as paramecia, more specifically special paramecia.

Due to what the only character in this class can do I'm stating that Special paramecia are a middle ground between paramecia and logia, having a mix of characteristics from both, taking on the qualities or producing a substance but having freeform control over said material, like he does with his mochi. That's all, just wanted to give my opinion on the subject while Oda still hasn't explained anything yet.


	4. Clowns, Lions, Unicylists oh my!

LW: Well here we go, 2nd half of the Buggy arc

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Clowns, Lions & Unicycles oh my!

While the smoke clears, Zoro and Kaos (with some difficulty, and having to quite literally kick Nami out of the way) lugged Luffy's cage away, Nami following her them in confusion and a hint of curiosity.

They stopped outside a pet shop, Zoro collapsing from blood loss / dizziness, while Kaos leaned against the cage tiredly as the cage was fucking heavy.

'Doggie! Hey guys do you think he's dead?' Luffy asks before poking it, not that any of the 3 telling him not to would have stopped him. The dog reacts quickly, attempting to ravage Luffy's rubber face, Zoro sighs in annoyance while Kaos is laughing his ass off.

' _These people are fucking idiots!_ ' Nami thinks/complains mentally before walking over to them 'Hey I think you need this more than I do' she says, tossing a key in Luffy's direction

'Awesome the key to the cage. Thanks Navigator!' Luffy says happily

'Why didn't you tell us you had the key before we lugged the cage all the way here?' Zoro complained, not that it mattered as the moment the key hit the ground in front of Luffy, the dog immediately gobbled it up as everyone watches in shock. Luffy was the first to break out, wrapping his hands around the dogs neck and shakes it, trying to get it to cough up the key

'Hey, stop hurting Shu Shu' some old guy yelled, stopping Luffy from throttling the dog, even if just out of confusion

'Who are you old man?' Zoro grunts with a twinge

'Old Man? I'm Mayor Boodle' the old man yells until he notices the deep wound on Zoro's torso 'Damn that looks bad, I guess you've run into Buggy and his goons. You need a doctor'

'Thanks, know any?' Kaos asks with a shrug while Luffy mutters death threats in Shu Shu's direction.

 _Transition_

Boodle exits the house and walks back to where Luffy, Nami and Kaos were sitting, Shu Shu sitting on Kao's feet, the elder pirate not appearing to have any problems with it

'So is Zoro going to be okay?' Luffy asks, worried about his newest crewmate

Boodle sighs 'I told him he needs to see a Doctor, but he says he just wants to sleep it off. I suppose it doesn't matter though given the doc left with the other villagers when Buggy showed up and started ransacking the town'

So, Shu shu huh?' Kaos asks, rubbing behind the dog's ears

'Why's he just sitting out here, seems like quite a lazy mutt' Luffy comments though without any real bite to his words, which was probably why Kaos didn't hit him, Mayor Boodle didn't yell at him and Shu Shu didn't try eat his face again.

'He's guarding the store'

Nami raises an eyebrow 'The store? Why?'

After filling his dog bowl, Boodle goes on to explain how the store used to belong to a friend of his, Shu Shu's owner and how it had been very special to both of them. He died a couple months back and this was all Shu Shu had of his master, plus the store was technically his as much as the man's. Despite many attempts to get him to leave, even just so he wasn't always out in the cold all the time Shu Shu always returned to his vigil outside the store, some of the villagers thought he was waiting for his master to return but Boodle told them he was sure Shu shu knew his master was dead, and that the store was now his to protect, alone. There was a moment of quiet contemplation… until Shu Shu's feed bowl started to rattle against the stone, slight tremors coming from the distance.

'Beast Tamer Monji, everybody run!' the mayor yells, running off, Nami and Kaos chasing after him, the latter yelling 'Hey get back here!' as the old man hadn't given them any information other than telling them to run

'Um guys?' Luffy calls, leaving just him and the dog outside the store.

Thuds like thunder rumbled through them as a large lion plodded into view, the man on top making Luffy laugh

'You're head looks funny' he chuckles

Monji scowls 'This is manly hair. It seems you need to learn respect, behold there is no beast on this earth I cannot tame' he hops of his lion and walks up to Shu Shu 'Shake'

Luffy may have been annoyed at the time but he now understood why Kaos laughed at him, watching Monji spazz out trying to get Shu shu off his arm was pretty hilarious, he guessed like all slapstick it was funnier mostly because the dog's jaws weren't clamped around his face this time

'Never mind, I don't care about an idiot like you so tell me where Roronoa Zoro is and I'll let you live'

'Nope'

Monji growled 'Fine have it your way. Get him Ritchie!' the lion tries to attack Luffy but only destroys the cage, freeing the straw hat who jumps to safety…. Well he would have had Ritchie not swiped at him with his paw, throwing the kid through one of the nearby houses.

 _Later_

Kaos returns, annoyed he didn't get anything else out of the old man and worried Luffy had managed to do something stupid again despite being locked in a metal cage, but upon reaching the spot they'd left him his only thoughts were ' _Ah fuck_ '. He looks from the burning Pet Store to the dog that looked like he got the ever loving shit kicked out of him, howling fruitlessly as his treasure was slowly reduced to ash and cinders. Sighing sadly before placing his hat on Shu Shu's head

'Keep that safe for me bud, I've got a clown to tenderize' he turns to leave but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder 'You can't stop me Luffy' he says without a hind of his usual cheerful undertones

'I know and I don't want to. That guy destroyed the doggie's treasure, but I'm taking that weirdo out, you take the lion' Kaos raises an eyebrow 'You'll kill the guy otherwise, at least you'll spare…. Um Ritchie I think he was called' Kaos shrugs but nodded to his Captain, he was in charge after all.

 _A little while later_

'Little shit bit me' Monji complains mostly to himself as he rides Ritchie on his search for Zoro, the lion munching his way through a bag of pet food when it stopped suddenly 'What now Ritchie?' he asks before looking down

Standing in front of them was a tall man with short purple hair, staring at him with intense green eyes

'Oy what are you doing standing there? Move it!'

'Get off' Monji blinked, this guy didn't react and instead gave him an order

'What?'

'Get off the lion' he elaborated

'Now see here…' Monji began, but he was apparently out of chances

'Get off the fucking lion! I'm not allowed kill you, but by Kami I will accept whatever discipline the captain decides I deserve for disobeying if you don't come down here right now!' Kaos yelled up at the 'Beast Tamer', the man pretty sure he peed himself a little after he slid down Ritchie's side 'Thank you' Kaos smiles sweetly which confused him

'What now?'

'This' Kaos grins as he raises his fist, coated in a reflective silver coloured substance, then pulls his arm back and punches the lion in the side of his head, causing it to slam through a house.

'Ritchie! Why'd you do that you bastard?' the beast tamer asks angrily

'Because you hurt Shu Shu' Kaos answers

'And this is for destroying the doggie's treasure' a voice from behind Monji said, he turned and saw the straw hat kid from earlier

'So you survived, I didn't expect that'

'Yeah, I seem to do that. But now you get to learn to respect other people's treasures' Luffy says, stretching back both arms, then while Monji is frozen in shock sends 2 simultaneous punches to his face, sending him into a wall

 **Gum Gum Shotgun**

 _Back with Shu Shu_

Nami stands in shock as Shu Shu sits just outside the pile of rubble that was once his home and treasure, her anger boiling deep inside her, unfortunately finding a (she believed) suitable target when Kaos and Luffy return

'Well, back to see all the destruction you've brought? I thought you'd both died and I wish you had, 2 less pirates ruining everyone's lives' Nami yells at them, but both seem to ignore her, something which just pissed her off more causing her to lash out had the mayor not held her back

'Hey Shu Shu, thanks for minding my hat for me, the big cat won't hurt you ever again' Kaos says as he puts back on his fedora and scratches Shu Shu behind his ears, the dog barking contently as Luffy places a box of pet food in front of him

'Here you go doggie, sorry this was all we could save, that mean lion ate all the rest'

Neither Nami or the mayor knew how to react to this, that was where they went? That was why they went up against the Beast Tamer and his lion?

'They took on that guy, because he hurt the dog? What kind of pirates are they?' Nami wonders as Kaos stands back up

'Miss Nami, your services are no longer required' he says evenly, Nami scoffs

'Yeah right I heard Luffy, you guys are desperate for a Navigator, and I'm the best there is…'

'All which we can find in the next town and preferably one with a personality dissimilar to sandpaper' Nami appeared stuck between paralysing frustration and violent rage, if the painful eye twitches and clenching fists were any indication 'We'll also be taking the map and half the treasure…'

'No Way!' Nami explodes 'I worked my ass off getting that map…'

Kaos smiles with teeth 'And then you gave it back, like an idiot. So when we kick the crap out of Buggy and steal it back it'll be our efforts that got us the map. And before you say you need it, why? You clearly are a one woman theft ring, the fact you need our help proves it, and the Grand Line destroys whole crews of pirates and marines on occasion, with tons more experience than you, so if you went there on your own you're committing suicide, in which case you don't need the map'

'Enough' Luffy says loudly 'I don't like seeing my nakama fighting. Though I will admit Nami that Kaos is right: you can either join my crew or sail to the next island of suckers to fleece. The choice is yours'

Nami grimaced but knew she had a better chance of accomplishing her goals with them than without, especially if they aren't actually as dim as they first acted 'Fine, I'll agree to a temporary partnership, until I reach my 100,000,000 beri target'

Kaos huffs 'I'll write up a contract when we get back to the boat' he sighs before going to check on Zoro

 _Meanwhile_

'I can't believe you lost, even if it was to Zoro!'

'N-n-no Captain Buggy it wasn't Zoro it was the tall one and the straw hat kid. They're not like the others, they have…' Monji faints before he could finish

Buggy sneers 'Well that was disappointing. Men! Load another Buggy-Ball, we're taking out these bastards if we have to vaporise the entire village' he yells

 **BOOM**

'Zoro! Kaos!' Luffy and Nami yell as the house is obliterated

'We're here' they heard the swordsman say, much weaker than he usually sounded 'Well that as a shitty way to wake up' he complains

'How'd you survive?' the mayor asks

'Dumb luck really, you put Zoro in a room with 2 windows, in the corner of the house. I saw the wave of destruction and pulled mosshead out the other. I'm sure going through the window as well as the tumble after gave us some more bruises, but better than the alternative' Kaos explains with a shrug, Luffy laughing at how it was how their family's luck worked.

'I can't just let you kids fight these bastards while I stand around. I am the mayor and I won't let them destroy my treasure!' Boodle yells before running off, the others groan before chasing after him

'Buggy!' Mayor Boodle yells up at the pirates

'Who are you and what do you want?' Buggy asks with a mix of boredom and annoyance

'I'm Mayor Boodle and I won't let you destroy this village'

'Little late to the party old man' Buggy snorts in amusement

'You hear me, you won't get away with this, even if I die I won't let you destroy my treasure'

Buggy grins 'Then death it is!' he yells shooting his hand out to strange the mayor only for it to be stopped 'Straw Hat!; he yells in surprise

'Yeah it's me, I'm here to kick your ass just like I said I would' he smirks before squeezing Buggy's disembodied limb, causing the clown to twitch, before with a tug his hand flies out of Luffy's and reattaches to his wrist

'You little Shit, do you have any idea who I am? I'm Captain buggy and I won't stand for such disrespect!' Buggy yells angrily, but Luffy looks to ignore him

'Get out of here children, this is my town so I must be the one to drive them out' Boodle says, moving to stand but instead Kaos slams his head into the ground, knocking him out

'Why'd you do that?' Nami yells

'He'd have died if we let him fight Buggy, he's just knocked out so calm your tits' Kaos answers with a dismissive wave, seemingly unfazed by the steadily reddening navigator as they wait to see what Luffy had planned next. (Haha, Luffy, plan. Silly humans)

'HEY BIG NOSE!' Luffy yells at the top of his expanded lungs, Nami and Kaos finally being of one mind as they face palm their captain's stupidity, Zoro on the other hand laughs weakly at Luffy's directness

'Fire another Buggy Ball at this flashy bastard and his crew!' Buggy yells, Nami tensing as the cannon is moved and tilted to hit Luffy head on 'Fire!' he orders

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

Luffy's swollen stomach catches the projectile for a moment, enough for a collective **'WTF/HOLY SHIT'** to pass through everyone, before shooting it right back at the Buggy pirates

 _ **KA BOOOOM!**_

'Well that felt like a much bigger explosion, think we killed the idiots? Kaos asks

'Not even close' Buggy sneers as his disembodied hands release their grip on his crewmates

'Using your own men as shields, disgusting' Zoro growled, while Buggy just laughs

'Ow my head, what the Hell happened?' Monji groans then spots Buggy 'Captain Buggy the 2 guys with Zoro, they're not normal, they have Devil Fruit Powers!'

'We already know idiot' a man with half his head shaved scoffs, dropping Ritchie the lion with a thump 'Allow me to show these fools why it is a bad idea to go against the Buggy pirates

Buggy shrugs 'Fine Cabaji, just make it flashy' the man nods and hops onto his unicycle before charging straight at Luffy with his sword drawn. It almost hit him, until Zoro blocked it

'I'll fight you, give me something to do on this island' Zoro says grinning at the chance at a fight

'Good decision Roronoa Zoro. Once I defeat you everyone will know the name of Acrobat Cabaji'

'Hey Zoro you still need time to heal, let me do this'

'Or I could, you're not the only blade wielder on this crew you know' Kaos adds after Luffy

'No, I need to do this' Zoro replies, and Cabaji grins

'Acrobat technique: Flames of the old man' he calls, blowing fire in Zoro's face who blocks it with his swords, the unicyclist using the distraction to kick him in Buggy's stab wound

'Hey that's not right' Luffy yells angrily to which Kabaji just laughs

'Not my fault he chose to fight with such a serious would, just makes things easier for me to beat him'

'Acrobat technique: Murder at the steam bath'

'Looks like a dust cloud to me' Luffy comments Kaos and Nami nodding, Zoro would too but he was busy trying to track Cabaji, managing to block his sword strike but receiving another kick to his injured side

'You done messing around?' Zoro says with a grunt as he pulls himself to his feet once more 'I plan to be the world's greatest swordsman, I will not lose to some mockery of a sword swinger like you' Cabaji scowls

'Then I guess I'll skip to my best technique. Acrobat Technique: A hike in the mountains' the performer instead of going towards Zoro turns around and cycles up the side of a building, confusing everyone while Nami takes this moment to do her own thing.

'Fireworks in the cool summer breeze' Cabaji grins 'Wheel stab' turning his sword down before he began to drop

 **Bara Bara Cannon**

'I'll hold him steady Cabaji' Buggy calls, shooting his hand out to pin Zoro

'Oh no you don't' Luffy says as he stomps on Buggy's hand while Kaos steps between Zoro and Luffy 'You want a fight so bad you deal with me!'

' **Pirate technique:** Praise the Sun' Kaos calls, using his arms to reflect the sunlight back into Cabji's eyes

'Ah you bastard' he grunts, knowing he'd already missed his target, what he didn't expect was to be cut crisscrossed on his chest as well as his neck by Zoro

'Stop with the tricks and fight for real' it seemed the green haired swordsman was getting rather steadily pissed

Cabaji growls 'Fine, I'll just have to run you down and be the best swordsman. Acrobat technique: Final strike' he yells, cycling towards Zoro

 **Oni-Giri**

Cabaji falls to the ground, 3 deep slashes erupt from his body, Zoro grins for a moment before falling due to his stab wound.

'Done, I'm going to take a nap. And we're pirates not thieves you idiot' he mumbles before snoring could be heard

Buggy raises an eyebrow 'You morons are pirates?'

Luffy nods 'Yep, we're searching for the grand line'

'Well more looking for a crew to traverse it, I'm fairly sure the GrandLine is over there but I'm no navigator' Kaos smirks and Luffy rolls his eyes and Buggy starts to steam

'That's quite a dangerous quest you have planned, sailing the Grand Line. And what will you idiots do once you get to the GrandLine, draw a map and go on a cruise?'

'Become King of the Pirates' Luffy answers more seriously than usual, Kaos grinning at Buggy's shocked/BSD face at the statement

'You can't be king you halfwit, that title belongs to me. Only I can become Pirate King and obtain all the treasure of the world'

Luffy sighs 'You're annoying, come on I promised you an asskicking' Luffy says as he gets into a ready position

'Fine you annoying little brat' Buggy grumbles, knives filling his hands and with a kick one came out of the tips of each boot ' _Just like Red Hair, a pain in the ass. Even has that damn straw hat and stupid grin too_ ' the clown thinks

 **Bara Bara Rice cracker**

Luffy dodges the clowns lower half by hopping into the air, something which Buggy appeared to have expected 'Can't move in midair?' he asks smugly before throwing his knives at him, looking mildly impressed when Luffy once more dodged, this time by streaching out, then pulling himself out of the way using a nearby building 'Well, you are more interesting than I expected'

'Same to you, now get a load of this…'

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

Buggy sidesteps the fist as it flies past his head and grabs a nearby tree 'Quite impressive moves, but they make you a much bigger target' he says pulling out yet another knife

 **Gum Gum Sickle**

 **Bara Bara eject**

Buggy's head shot up into the air, just before Luffy's arm would have hit it, causing the rubber boy to sail past and crash into the building across from him

'Hahaha see kid, you have no chance against me…. HEY GET BACK HERE WITH MY TREASURE' he starts yelling, having spotted Nami trying to make a break for it with a huge bag of loot, separating his top half and flying at her.

' _Cat burglar my ass'_ Kaos thinks to himself as he goes to deal with the clown

Luffy pulls himself out of the wreckage just as Buggy flies as Nami, only to collapse with his face frozen in severe pain, his lower half falling to the ground as Kaos lowers his leg.

'Ow right in the Buggy balls, that was a cheap shot' was croaked out of him

'Who gives a shit, we're all pirates here' Kaos replies with a shark like grin.

Buggy slowly rises and reattaches his parts before yelling 'You brats think you can make a fool out of me? I'm Buggy the Clown and I will not be beaten by the likes of you. Die Flashily!'

 **Bara bara festival**

Buggy's body separates into many more parts than before, all floating and rotating, before his blade filled hands fly at Nami, followed swiftly by the rest of him

'Damn it, he's split into even more parts' Luffy worries as Buggy starts a tug-of-war with the thief, then he spots Buggy's feet slowly walking towards the fight ' _Hmm, I wonder'_

While Buggy chased after Nami and his treasure Luffy tries an number of methods to distract the clown, including tickling pinching and slamming his foot into the ground, anyone wanting to known what a Morningstar being slammed onto their foot feels like is welcome to ask Buggy, seeing as Kaos was getting bored of the fight and wanted to see if blunt(ish) weapons would succeed where bladed ones failed

'You idiots, knock it off!' he yelled over to them, taking his eyes off Nami for a second

'No you knock it off' Nami yells back, slamming the treasure bag into Buggy's face, unfortunately for her this worked in his favour

'Thanks for giving me back my treasure ('again' Kaos mutters) Nami' he grins as he tries to pull it from the thief, but Nami wasn't giving up without a fight.

'Let go' 'No you let go!' this tug of war was going to take while, the 2 pirates could tell, neither as going to back down, their greed was too high their pride even more so

'So should you break them up or should I?' Luffy asks, Kaos chuckles letting his blade spin before tossing it at the bickering pair

The khopesh flies past the clown's head, hitting the bag and ripping it, causing the contents to spill out…mostly on the pirate's head, taking him out of the fight momentarily, a kick to the head by Luffy adding to his down time.

When Buggy did come too he was beyond angry 'You little bastards think you can get away with trying to flashily do me in? Think again!'

 **Bara bara assemble**

Buggy grins as his parts returned, until he noticed a) Straw Hat was also smiling and b) he was taller than Buggy even though he was crouching down at the moment

'Hey Buggy, looking for these?' he turns to a grinning Nami, standing on his tied up pasts, all but his head, hands and feet

'My parts!'

'All right Nami!' Luffy cheers, swinging his arms back despite Buggy's rather vocal protests 'See yah Buggy!'

 **Gum gum bazooka**

Chibi Buggy flies through the air, forming a little twinkle as he disappears

'They took out Captain Buggy'

'With barely a scratch on them'

'Let's just stay unconscious'

Kaos whistles 'I don't even think we could measure that, new record there Luffy'

'And look at all this treasure, 10 million beri easily' Nami practically drools as she rebags the loot, the guys meanwhile picking up Zoro so he could be moved

It was at this point a mob of villagers (finally and uselessly) arrived 'Oh, you guys were still around after all, why'd you leave fighting the pirates to the old guy?' Kaos thinks out loud, unfortunately drawing attention to himself and the unconscious mayor

'Mayor Boodle, what did those pirates do to you?' one asks

'That wasn't the Buggy pirates, that was Kaos' Luffy points out as well as pointing to the guy, who like Nami face palms Luffy's idiocy

'You monster!'

'Attacking our beloved mayor'

Kaos raises his hands defensively' Hey, calm down, all I did was knock him out. It was for his own good, if he'd have continued to attack Buggy he'd have died very painfully'

Tensions eased slightly 'Okay, I guess we should thank you guys for saving our village and driving away the pirates' the mobs leader apologises

'Our village is pirate free once again' someone cheered

'Actually, we're pirates too' Luffy corrects, putting his foot in his mouth once more. Kaos' hand once more finds his face, while Nami was glaring at him so hard if she were Shanks Luffy's head would have exploded

'Pirates!'

'You bastards are here to steal our treasure!'

'But there's nothing valuable in this dump' Nami says before she could stop herself (speak-before-you-think appears to be spreading)

'Get them!' was yelled, the 2 pirates and thief running as fast s they could, while carrying their unconscious 4th member

About halfway across the village with the mob right behind them Kaos has an idea

'Luffy, hold Zoro for a minute' the rubber boy nods and takes Zoro onto his back, Kaos turning to face the mob, rolling up his sleeves slightly as he does 'And now we bid you adiu…'

 **Dazzle**

The fedora wearing pirate grins as the group stumble around blindly, catching up with the others just as they turned a corner and met a familiar creature

'Shu Shu?'

'Doggie!' Luffy cheers, unfortunately alerting everyone to their prescience 'Dammit!'

'Bye Shu Shu' Kaos rubs his head before they sidestep the dog and continue to run away, the dog holding off the villagers from his friends (and Nami) with the same stubbornness and determination as he'd defended his store

 _At the docks/beach_

'Why'd you have one of Buggy's boats?' Luffy asks, referring to the clown's Jolly Roger on the sail of Nami's little boat

'Stole it from some idiots' Nami answered with a smirk…until she heard them

'There you are, you witch' was yelled as they Buggy pirates hop out of the other boat 'Finally we can pay you back' they begin to approach her till they hear a shrill whistle

'Go' Kaos orders, the pirates gulp before realising they were needed elsewhere and ran for their lives

'Allright guys let's get out of here!' Luffy orders, Nami grumbling about how he wasn't the boss of her but still followed anyway, because she wanted to leave as badly as the guys did

It wasn't till they were already out at sea they heard yelling 'Hey wait'

Kaos turns to look behind him 'Hey look the mayor guy's okay. Really hope he's not here to yell at me'

'Thank you young ones, thanks for saving my village' he yells

Luffy grins 'You're welcome. Also look down' Boodle does so and is shocked to see a large sack of what he later learns to be 5 million beri worth of treasure. Him broadcasting this information meant that it got to Nami almost as fast as it did the old man

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT THE TREASURE THERE?' Nami yells, throttling Luffy from the other boat

'They needed the money to repair the village' Luffy defends but there was no reasoning with an angry Nami

'YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE AWAY ALL MY HARD EARNED TREASURE!'

'All he did was give away his half, no big' Kaos sighs, unfortunately drawing Nami's ire.

'THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! ALL TREASURE IS MINE!' she practically screams into his face as she wails on the older guy, defending himself by crossing his arms until he grabs her by the face and throws her against the mast

'Relax Gold-on, we'll get more treasure, you'll reach the 100mill soon enough' he smiles with pointed teeth as he lies back and pushes his hat over his eyes.

TBC

LW: Well, that's that. Next we have Usopp and a slight deviation from canon by the end of this island's story, probably my first (other than Kaos) that will actually have consequences for more than the episode it occurs in

 _Luffy_

Gum Gum Shotgun: Oh boy, this is a real divergent moment. Yeah this isn't the shotgun from the anime/manga, that will be known as Scatter shot when I get to that point, this is more for progression reasons, he has pistol which is one punch, then gattling which is a lot thrown super fast. While not much of a step up, throwing more than one at the same time is still progress.

Basically it's a double Gum Gum Pistol to simplify everything.

Gum Gum Balloon: Luffy inflates his stomach which enables it to catch and bounce back larger projectiles his natural rubber body could redirect.

Gum Gum Sickle: Luffy grabs something behind his opponent and pulls himself towards it, his other stretched out arm clotheslining his opponent on the way there. Usually...

Gum Gum Bazooka: Luffy streches his arms back before slamming his opponent with a simultaneous double open palmed strike. Usually sends his foe flying, which is probably why it's usually used as a finishing move (like it was here)

 _Zoro_

Oni-Giri: Zoro's signature technique, a 3 way slashing manoeuvre that seems to be able to take out most things it hits.

 _Buggy_

Bara Bara Cannon: Buggy shoots out either his hand or arm at his enemy, depending on whether he has a weapon in hand this technique can be used to attack or just grab/distract his enemies

Bara Bara Eject: Known as Chop chop escape in the anime this fits more because only his head shoots off/escapes, the rest of his body is still just as open to attacks as before. Situationaly useful, such as when he dodged Luffy's sickle attack.

Bara Bara Festival: Buggy splits his body into many parts, then uses them to trap his opponent, bludgeon them with the lumps or in the case of any blade wielding appendages stabbing them.

Bara Bara Assemble: Buggy recalls all his parts and reforms… whatever can reach him.

Praise the Sun is basically Dazzle but Kaos is taking the piss at how all Kabaji's moves start with the name 'Acrobat technique'


	5. Pinocchio Cats

Usopp: Welcome everyone, time for the real main character to finally make his appearance, the mighty Captain Us….

Kaos: Get out, out, out, out!

Usopp: Ahhh (runs away)

Kaos: Done boss

LW: Thanks for that. Now we have that interruption out of the way, onward to Gecko Island

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Pinocchio Cats

 _Middle of nowhere – East Blue_

'The next island we find better have meat'

'And booze'

'I won't say no to either'

' _Ugh men!_ You idiots! We need more than meat and booze if we're going to sail the Grand Line! We'll need proper supplies as well as a strong enough ship to get there' Nami yells

'Wasn't a problem when you were trying to solo the map' Kaos mutters tiredly

'I wasn't stealing it to use but to sell. Maps of the Grand Line are rare and usually incomplete, this one being fairly close as far as I can tell' Nami explains, her boat mate nodding in understanding 'Anyway, the nearest island is Gecko, we should be able to get a real ship from someone on the island.

'Sounds like a plan. Let's find a ship, a cook and a musician. Onward!' Luffy yells while Zoro and Kaos nodding in agreement, Nami rolling her eyes but smiled very slightly, these people were insane but they were growing on her, being tolerable…for pirates

'Well this is a nice place' Kaos says as they make land and make their way off their boats onto the beach

'You said it, now where's the meat?' Luffy wonders

'PIRATES!' the quartet hear yelling and looking up see a guy with a long nose around Luffy's age on top of the cliffs in front of them, the forest erupting in strange pirate flags 'You have invaded the territory of the mighty Usopp pirates and we won't let you harm this village, leave now and my army of 80,000 ruthless crewmates won't tear you apart' he threatens, Luffy staring up in awe, Kaos looking unimpressed

'This is so cool!' Luffy yells excitedly

'He's lying, there aren't 80,000 able bodied men on this island, never mind those willing to follow this kid' Kaos waves his hand in Usopp's direction, the younger boy deflating for a moment

'Oh no they know I lied'

'And he's just admitted he was lying' Nami says, pinching the bridge of her nose

'What! He was lying?' Luffy yells, then deflates in disappointment

'Yep, he's got 3 maybe 4 under his control' Kaos answers, Nami nodding

'Yeah 3 sounds about right'

This causes Pepper, Carrot and Onion to run away screaming, leaving just Usopp

'Hm, slingshot wielding pirates, now I've seen it all' Nami chuckles

'We haven't made it to the Grand Line yet Nami, I'd hold off on a declaration like that for a while' Kaos argues, Luffy laughing at everything that's just happened

'Hey, don't laugh, shut up before I shut you up!' he shouts, arming his slingshot

'Now you've drawn a weapon are you willing to use it?' Kaos asks flatly, his smirk surprisingly vacant

Luffy raises an eyebrow before his eyes widen in realisation and smirks under his hat 'he's right, guns aren't for threats, they're for actions. Are you willing to risk your life?'

Usopp and Luffy engage in an intense staring contest, Usopp's determined glare against Luffy's blank expression. This lasted a few minutes of silence before Usopp lets go… and the bearing fell at his feet with a plop

Usopp sighs 'Being brave is a lot easier when you can back it up' he says, surprised to see the brothers burst out laughing

'Shishishi, we totally stole that from Red Haired Shanks'

'Yeah, you should have seen his face. Sesese Shanks would be so proud' Kao then stops, his hand moved to his chin in a thinking position 'Hey Luffy, this guy look familiar to you?' he asks

'I don't think so, I'm sure I'd remember someone with a nose that long' Luffy shrugs, while Usopp collapses anime style (Luckily backwards as opposed to forwards)

'Not the nose idiot, though it should help you remember where you'd heard a description like that' Kaos waited for the penny to drop, not needing to see when his eyes widen and a grin splits his face, though the confirmation was still liked when he turns to him

'Really, he's the guy?'

'Only one way to find out, hey Usopp, is your dad's name Yassop?'

'Yeah, how'd you know?'

Luffy laughed 'We met him when he stopped on our village. He was the Sniper on Shank's crew'

Usopp's eyes light up 'Really? My dad was part of Red haired Shanks crew?'

'Yep'

 _Later, in a place with meat and booze_

'Know anywhere we could get a ship?' Kaos asks, Luffy busy stuffing his face

Usopp shook his head 'No this is a pretty small village, we don't need really big ships around here'

Nami frowns 'Then what about up there? They might be able to get us a ship' she says, pointing to the mansion at the top of the hill

'Don't go anywhere near that house!' Usopp explodes shocking the group' Um… I've got to go, eat all you want, my treat' he then speeds out the door. Nami looking suspiciously while the guys continued eating/drinking

' _Why was he in such a rush?… weirdo_ ' Nami thinks to herself, before picking up an apple

 _Later, again_

'…And how are we supposed to afford all the food Luffy's eaten, and the alcohol Zoro's drunk?' Nami argues, Kaos sighing before removing a handful of notes and placing them on the table

'Happy now?' he asks, Nami just grumbles, while the other 2 chuckle to themselves

Suddenly there comes the yelling of children as the 3 kids rush in

'Where's our captain?' one asks

Kaos and Zoro's eyes meet, then they smile and nod, just before Luffy groans, leaning back rubbing his bloated belly

'Mmmm, that was some good meat' he sighs

'Meat?'

'You really want to know where your captain is?' Zoro asks, the kids nod reluctantly 'We ate him' it was a mix of Luffy's comidically inflated belly, Kaos' slasher smile and Zoro's serious tone that meant the kids believed them, but they blamed the wrong person

'Sea Witch!' they screamed, Nami yelling back with shark teeth

 _10 minutes later_

'You got us good' Onion giggled

'Yeah we did. Hey you guys are Usopp's crew, any idea where he went a little while ago?' Luffy asks

'Oh he's probably off lying again' Carrot said happily

'That's not something to be proud of' Nami argues

The kids then explain to the Straw Hats abut Kaya: the girl who lived in the mansion, how her parents died and she became depressed and sickly, but then Usopp started showing up at her window and telling her outrageous tales of his _adventures_ , making her smile and laugh like she used to even if only for a while.

'You do know you could just call him a storyteller rather then liar?' Kaos notes, Zoro nods in agreement

'Usopp is so cool and nice' Luffy grins, while the kids have returned to staring at Nami (and this is back when her boobs were normal sized so it's not for that reason)

'Stop looking at me like that, it's annoying!' She yells scaring them again

'Hey kids, you know there are easier ways to piss her off right?' Kaos grins widely and Luffy freezes as he's reminded of some advice/information Shanks gave him while he was on the island…

' **Luffy what I'm about to tell you is a list of things that can cause any woman to enter a bezerker rage, where they will not stop until they beat the source of their anger into a bloody pulp'**

' **All women?'**

' **All women'**

' **Even Makino?'**

' **Even Maki… she's behind me isn't she?'**

' **Yep. Is talking about it one of the triggers?'**

' _Gulp._ **Yeah.** _This is going to hurt so much'_

Nami tenses 'Don't you even think…'

 **SMACK** _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

 _Meanwhile_

'…and I escaped on a giant rubber bandball' Usopp finished, Kaya giggled as usual at his silly story

'Storyteller Usopp indeed' Usopp turns and Kaya looks around him to see Kaos sitting on the branch with a wide grin on his face

'Who are you?' Kaya asks Usopp getting between them

'Nobody special, just a new recruit for the Usopp pirates' he lied more smoothly than usual

'I'd be angry but you're right about me not being special yet' he stands 'My name is Serpens D Kaos Miss Kaya, pleased to meet you' the 2 shake hands

'How'd you get in here?'

'Usopp left your hedge disturbed. I simply followed the trail, don't worry I fixed it on the way' Kaos explained Usopp face palmed at his own stupidity

'Hey where are the others?' he asks

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

The yell was followed by 5 screams which instantly gets their attention. Luffy drops to the ground just fine, then lets go of the others who sit there in shock, Nami being the exception who was still on the rampage

'There they are' Kaos answers, before Nami attacks him

'You bastard, never touch my ass again!' she growls as Luffy winces, they may be used to pain given Garps ' _training_ ' routines, but even he'd be vulnerable to Nami's foot slamming into his _gentleman's region_ which lead to the fedora wearing pirate falling out of the tree

'Hi Usopp, we found you again. You must be Kaya' Luffy greets loudly

'Um yes' Kaya answers, more nervously than she would have liked

'Great! You see we really need a new…'

'What the Hell is going on here?' yelled a grumpy looking man with a suit and golden turds on his coat, pushing his glasses up with his palm (I can't be the only person to notice those things.)

'Klahadore' Kaya whines

'Miss Kaya you're still terribly ill, go back to bed' he says reassuringly before turning to the others 'All business can be done through me'

'Okay, can we have a ship then?' Luffy repeats, but Klahadore just laughs

'As if I'd give a ship to lowly pirates like yourselves' he then spots Usopp in the tree 'Ah Usopp, telling more lies are we? Not that I expect much better from the son of a filthy pirate' Kaya gasps and Usopp clench his jaw

'Klahadore that's not nice'

'I'm doing what's best for you Miss Kaya, hanging out with a pirate's son will bring you nothing but trouble. Ready to admit the truth Usopp or spread another lie, maybe he's an honest merchant or training to become a marine…'

'Enough!' Usopp shouts, using his grapple to hop out of the tree and land unharmed. He then goes to punch Klahadore in his smug face but was stopped by Kaos, mostly because he was the closest to the long nosed boy

'You are one of the dumbest humans I've ever met' Kaos sighs as he keeps a tight grip on the sniper, Klahadore chuckles in amusement

'It seems your new friend has seen the real you already' he smirks

'I was talking about you shitty butler not Usopp' he deadpans, shocking Usopp and Klahadore

'What!'

'You spit on a pirate you know nothing about. Tell me, would you be so quick to badmouth Usopp if he was the son of a Shichibukai?' he grins when Klahadore tenses 'Exactly'

'It doesn't matter, he's not the son of a Warlord, so what was the point of that?' Klahadore argues and Kaos nods

'True, but what he is, is the son of a very strong pirate, Yasopp is the sniper of Red Haired Shanks, he's the 3rd strongest man in a Yonko's crew' Klahadore turns a sickly pale colour 'I'm glad you understand, oh and one more thing…' he steps forward and punches the fucker square in the face '…that's for being a condescending jackass. I think it's time to go guys, we won't get much more around here' he turns to leave, Luffy and the others following him

 _A safe distance away_

'I still don't get why you didn't let me punch him, especially when you hit him yourself' Usopp complained, Kaos sighed

'It was to maintain your relationship with Kaya' at Usopp's confusion (and blush) he continues 'Kaya looked conflicted, she cared about both you and the jackass, she tried defending you but still probably wouldn't want to see him hurt. If you'd hit him she'd have been mad at you and Klahadore would have won. This way she can hate me all she likes, you're still in a better position to butler'

Usopp sighs 'Thanks for that, but I think I need some time to process everything' he says before running off

'What a weird guy' Nami thinks out loud, neither Zoro nor Kaos admitting they thought the same

'I'm going to go check on him' Luffy says before running off in the direction Usopp went

'That's nice, hey wait weren't there like 3 of you?' Kaos asks the 2 Usopp pirates

'Yeah there are, but sometimes Onion disappears on his own then returns with crazy ideas like…'

;Help! There's some weird background walking guy heading this way!'

'Like that?' Zoro asks, the other kids nodding

'Now which one of you had the nerve to call me weird' Jango asks, Kaos pointing to Onion 'I'm not weird I'm just an ordinary hypnotist' he says flatly, getting the kids attention

'Hypnotist?'

'For real?'

'Can we see?'

'I wouldn't just reveal my tricks to some kids…okay here we go' he pulls out a metal ring on some string 'You are getting very sleepy, at the count of Jango you will fall asleep. Are you ready?'

 **1, 2, Jango**

He clicks his fingers and all 3 kids are on the ground asleep….. And so was Jango

'Fucking idiot' Zoro mutters, then notices Kaos hadn't moved

'Don't tell me he's asleep too?' Nami groans until his head tilts enough for her to see his face

'Not from the hypnotism, but I'm bored enough I might as well sleep now. Plus I get the feeling I won't be getting any sleep tonight so might as well get some now' he pushes his hat down over his eyes and does so, Nami sighing but gives up easily

 _With Luffy and Usopp_

'I really hate that butler Klahadore' Usopp grumbles

'Yeah he seemed like such a dick. Hey isn't that him there?' Luffy asks, pointing down under the cliffs

'Yeah it is, what's he doing here? And who's that guy with him?' Usopp asks frantically, Luffy shrugs because how the Hell would he know?

'Don't know, but he looks like a weirdo'

'Jango I told you to be subtle, stealthy and inconspicuous, none of which would describe sleeping in the middle of the road' Klahadore growled, adjusting his glasses with his palm

'I'm always stealthy, nobody knows why I'm here, and the boys are ready and waiting'

'So my plan is ready?'

'Yes. Captain Kuro, we're all ready whenever you are to _Operation:_ _ **Murder the Rich Girl**_!'

' _What!_ ' Luffy and Usopp think

'Not murder, we need it to look like an accident or at least that she wasn't targeted' Kuro states

'Right, accident, got it Captain Kuro' Jango nods

'And don't call me that, I'm Klahadore here!'

'Right, so basically me and the men storm the village and the girl 'accidentally' dies during the raid. Then you get the inheritance and we strike it big' Jango repeats to show he understands

'You idiot! We're not related, how would inherit anything?'

'Sheer force of will, and determination' Jango nods and Kuro looks ready to throttle him

'No Jango, when the men attack you need to hypnotise Kaya into signing away her fortune to me, then and only then can you kill her. Once that's done I will have control of her enormous fortune and my 3 year plan will be complete. And nobody will be able to stop me'

'3 years already. You had me and the men worried back then boss, saying you were done, having a patsy take the fall and be executed in your place. But it seems even that was just step one of this plan. You really are still Kuro of the 1,000 plans after all' Jango laughs and Klahadore grimaces

'Never say that name again, I abandoned it years ago. My pirate days are over, I plan to obtain my wealth without the unnecessary attention piracy brings. You could say I'm a pacifist now' Jango laughs again

'Pacifist? Right, murdering an entire family definitely sounds peaceful'

Klahadore raises an eyebrow 'I haven't murdered an entire family, the father was an accident'

'Whatever, I'm just glad we're moving along now, it's been a week since we reached this island and the men are getting antsy' Jango shrugs

'Hey bad guys, you better stay away from Kaya. We heard everything!' Luffy yells, Usopp stays in shock and horror, Kuro frowning and Jango looking at him confused

'Want me to do something Captain?'

Klahadore shakes his head 'Nobody will believe them, especially not Usopp. On the other hand I think they need to sleep it off, don't you Jango?'

'Right Captain. Watch the ring boys' he yells up at them

'Um okay' Luffy says with a shrug

'You will sleep at the count of Jango'

 **1,2, Jango!**

Usopp had already started to run but Luffy was hit, conking out where he stood…until he tipped forward, fell down the cliff and hit the below with a thump

'Well that wasn't the plan, I didn't mean to kill the kid' Jango said, feeling bad for the boy getting caught at the wrong place at the wrong time

'Forget about him, prepare the men to attack at dawn'

'Yes Captain'

 _With the other straw hat and Usopp pirates_

'Captain's been gone a while' Carrot says worryingly

'He'll be fine, sometimes he just needs to think'

'With Luffy there I doubt he's getting much of that done' Zoro mutters while Kaos smirks under his hat

'Still he's probably still at the sh…' Pepper begins but stops when he sees Usopp running towards them with a serious look on his face 'There he is' he cheers but frowns when their captain runs right by him

'Where could he be off to in such a rush?' Nami asks, the kids shrug

'And better question, where the hell is Luffy?' Kaos asks as he stands up

'Maybe he's at the secret place'

'Yeah we can take you'

'If you want'

Kaos groans 'Sure, just never speak like that again'

'Got it' they agreed in unison

'That'll do I guess'

 _Usopp's secret place_

'I don't see him' Zoro says as they search the area of Usopp's thinking place for Luffy

'Where could that idiot be?' Nami thinks aloud

 **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Everyone comes running when they heard Onion's scream, Kaos grabbing him from the edge of the cliff before he fell

'Get over here before you kill yourself you idiot' he scolds, but is shocked when the kid yells back

'I found Luffy and I see why Captain Usopp came running, he's dead' Nami and Zoro peer over to check and just like Onion said there was Luffy, unmoving at the bottom of the cliff face

They make their way down to the fallen rubberboy, the kids notably shaken as it was their first dead body. Kaos kneels, most likely to pay respect after removing Shanks Hat… when he feels shallow breath on his hand. Yanking the straw hat off him he sees Luffy isn't dead, just sound asleep

'Well it was definitely the hypnotist guy' Kaos says just before Nami decides to slap him awake.

'That was a good nap. Hey guys what I miss?' he asks, not at all surprised they were all on a beach

' _Only you Luffy'_ the straw hats think as their captain hops up, a lot more seriously

'Oh yeah, now I remember. That butler guy and some weirdo are planning for pirates to attack the village'

 _Later – back by that fence_

'Okay, now all we need to do is find Usopp and … oh shit!' Kaos hisses when they see the long nosed boy hobble over looking worse for wear, chief amongst them his bleeding arm

'What happened?' Luffy asks

Usopp winces as he holds his arm 'You were right, I tried to warn them but they didn't listen, they got very angry instead and attacked me'

'This before or after you acused Kaya's butler of being a pirate?' Zoro asks

'Before but they didn get more mad when I told them Klahadore was a pirate named Kuro, then there was Kaya…' he paused and looked at the floor

'What happened?'

 _Flashback_

'Please trust me on this Kaya I'm just trying to keep you alive, and the only way to do that is get you as far away from here as possible' Usopp says before they both go out the window, landing safely on the ground with Kaya in a bridal position. Unfortunately Merry alerted the guards to Usopp's prescience (wonder where they were in a few episodes) and he was forced to knock them out with his sling shot. 'Come on Kaya we need to move now!' he grunts as he tries to lead her to the escape hole in her hedge but she held form better than expected for such a sickly looking girl 'Kaya this will all make sense tomorrow but until then you need to trust me and come o…'

 _ **SMACK**_

It was hard to know who was more shocked, Usopp with his wide eyes and quickly forming bruise, or Kaya who was looking at her hand as if she'd never seen it before in her life. Looking up she saw pain but also a sense of loss and hopelessness that made her sick to her stomach. The sniper held in his tears as he turned away, the action hurting Kaya more than either expected

'U-u-usopp' Kaya begins, stuttering as she stretches out her arm to him

'Miss Kaya!' Mary yells, running out of the mansion with a pistol 'Let her go you roughian' he orders, hands shaking

'Mary stop, please' Kaya pleads as Usopp turns his head to see the butler

BANG

The gun goes off, grazing his arm and Mary tosses the gun away in shock, Usopp taking this moment to leave as quickly as he could

 _End_

'While I admit trying to kidnap her was a bad idea, damn!' Kaos says, squeezing Usopp's shoulder in an attempt at comfort

'I know that but I was getting desperate, I can't let her die' Usopp sniffles

'Then we won't let her' Luffy states, his face surprisingly serious 'These guys want to destroy the village and kill your friend we're not going to let them' he finishes, the others surprised by the declaration

'Well in that case, kids it's time to leave' Kaos announces, getting very loud denials from the 3 Usopp pirates, until there was a blade against their throats 'They will you down and just keep walking, so run along home and pretend this never happened, understand?' he removed the blade so they could nod before following the order, but even with that threat they still grabbed Usopp and told him to keep Kaya safe, and that they believe in him, which made the town liar smile despite his pain.

'That was a dick move dumbass' Nami scolds, the taller pirate shrugs in reply

'Kuro's pirates won't care they're just kids, they're here to level the town and kill an innocent girl, 3 more kids won't stain their conscience that much. I don't want them to get hurt when I can stop it. Scaring them a little so that they live to see the next day is okay with me' he elaborates before turning to Luffy and Usopp 'So what's the plan?'

'Well the only way to get from the shore to the village is up a slope, because the rest of the shore is made of sheer cliffs'

'Yeah we found that out earlier, made getting down to Luffy a pain' Zoro complains but nods as he's still following

'Well I was thinking if we attack while they're crammed into the narrow slope it won't matter the numbers if they can't use them. Plus maybe we can set up a few surprises for the bastards, which they won't see in the low light to give us a little extra advantage'

Kaos smiles 'I like it, better than Luffy's plans'

'What are those?'

'Hit him till he goes down' Luffy answers without a hint of shame

'Well better get to work then. Help me get a few barrels of oil and caltrops, plus some tacs'

'Bastard was right about not getting any sleep tonight' Nami grumbles realising how much prep work they're going to need to do

'Well at least once everything's ready, we'll take these guys down easy' Zoro replies

 _Next Day – Just before dawn_

'Hey Usopp, are you sure they'll show up here?'

'The long nose shrugged 'I think so, this is where they had their meeting' then he paled

'You look worried, what's the problem?' Kaos asks

'There is somewhere else they could launch an attack, the North Slope, on the other side of the island'

'FUCK!'

Usopp skirted around all the traps while Luffy's rubber body enabled him to simply bounce over the problems, Kaos going with a similar method jumped onto and used both Zoro and Nami's shoulders to springboard up to the top. This decision caused Nami to stumble and loose her balance, but following a ' _needs of me means more than you'_ shoved into Zoro getting herself to safety while also causing the yelling and swearing swordsman to fall to the bottom of the booby trapped slope

 _North shore_

'Captain Kuro does not like delays, so move it' Jango orders then watches the men run up the slope, until some of them start to fall

'They knew we were coming'

'It's an ambush'

Jango's shades flash and he grins 'Well, it seems we meet again long nose'

'I won't le you attack my village or hurt Kaya'

'And what make you think you can stop us all alone?'

'YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY TREASURE!' An angry blur shot to the top of the slope, Nami practically steaming as she pulls out her bo staff

'My mistake, you think the 2 of you can stop all of us?'

Usopp looks around, worried when he only sees Nami pop up behind him ' _Where are the others? They were all faster and had longer strides than us_ '

 _Meanwhile_

' _Damn it Usopp, which way is North?!'_ Luffy screams internally

'Do you have any idea where we're going?' Kaos asks with a sigh

'Nami! I'll kill you for this you bitch!' Zoro yells from the bottom of the slope

 _Back with the others_

'So, now that you've shown up I can hang back and take command' Usopp begins to turn but get Nami's staff to the gut

'Oh no you don't, you think I can take on a boatload of pirates by myself? That's suicide!'

'Well I certainly wasn't going to do it, plus in case you hadn't realised I'm a coward and more importantly a ranged fighter, hence the slingshot and you are not, if you want to do anything in this fight you need to go down there and fight'

'No way, without Luffy, Kaos and Zoro that's one of the dumbest plans I've ever heard I'm not going down there'

'Well neither am I!'

' _We don't have time for this nonsense_. If I can cut in…'

'Nobody asked you!'

'Well you weaklings can argue about things later, because right now we're tearing up this tiny village!' Jango yells 'Men! Charge!' the black cats easily walking through the coward and the thief until…

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

 **Oni-Giri**

 **Crescent Wave**

They all went flying back over their heads landing at Jango's feet as 3 people appear at the top, all of which were varying levels of annoyed

'Usopp you bastard, how was I supposed to know which way North was?' Luffy yells angrily

'Lucky those kids knew where the North slope was' Kaos adds, pushing up his hat with his left while holding his blade with his right

'Nami you bitch, you didn't need to push me into those traps, if there weren't bigger problems I'd kick your ass right now!' Zoro growled around Wado, despite herself Nami gulped in fear

Things are about to a get a lot more interesting now the main fighters are actually present

TBC

LW: Well this is part one of probably 3 if I judged this correctly, if not then Sryup Village will be another 2 chapter arc like Orange Town and (technically) Romance Dawn.

 _Reviews_

 _ **BlazeXDemon**_ : I'll answer both together as I got both at the same time:

Don't really understand the question about Hancock, I suppose it would have a few funny moments like her thinking ' _If my brother is also Luffy's brother, does that mean we're already married_?' and stuff like that, plus I think he'd be able to have her a bit more calm and saner than canon (actually scratch that last one, Kaos would need to be sane in order for that to be true). It would make something I hope to do in the future awkward though. Sorry that probably doesn't answer what you wanted answered

Going to assume you meant Nami, as it's the only thing that makes sense, also should probably consider myself lucky you used 2 or's instead of 2 and/or seeing as I did say there would be multi's, of which some of them are connected to Luffy and Kaos (but not to each other of course). I'll tell you this ahead of time one of the people on that list is paired with Kaos, the other 2 are paired with our loveable idiot Captain Luffy, and the Love Cook Vinsmoke Sanji.

 _Techniques/Lore_

Luffy

Gum Gum Gattling: Luffy unleashes a flurry of punches so quickly it looks as if he has multiple arms, the difference is important but not for the moment.

Kaos

Crescent Wave: After spinning to build up energy Kaos unleashes 2 horizontal swings, the combined power producing a crescent shaped shockwave (hence the name) which will knock normal level enemies away and cause more damage the closer they are to the point of origin. It doesn't have the best range and needs a minute to set up so it probably won't be used that often, but you never know.

 **Shichibukai** : The '7 Warlords' basically they're pirates under the employ of the WG, making them privateers in the sense of our world. This will all be explained later when it becomes relevant. (Looking at you Yosaku, don't fuck this up)

 **Yonko** : The strongest and most dangerous pirates on the Grand Line, the '4 Emperors' all have territory in the New World under their control/protection and are too powerful for the marines and World Government to directly address or deal with. This is kind of a spoiler for some but currently the only Yonko to be mentioned in this story is Red Haired Shanks.(Don't worry that flashback has just been moved to between Loguetown and the Grand line)


	6. Hypnosis and Catclaws

LW: Hey guys, as a special gift for being consistently getting chapters out on a fortnightly basis, I have a friend of mine doing the intro instead of an OP character. Take it away bud

IP: Oh gosh! Someone tried to light me on fire! Hey I haven't been here before thanks for letting me be here LW! Hello Ladies and Gentlemen I am the Invisible Prince! Fabulous writer, beautiful hair, skinniest person to eat a can of frosting straight and I should probably stop talking before people leave thinking I'm an arrogant D-bag. Anyway LW is a good friend of mine and is able to put up with a guy like me. Anywho enjoy the chapter and if you are interested or really flippin bored check out my stories... or not it's your choice!

LW: Hm, didn't know Ace was going to be in this intro… oh well thanks buddy, please guys at least have peek at his work. And on with the chapter! :D

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Hypnosis and cat claws

' _This is bad, Kuro won't like his plans being delayed'_ Jango thinks before pulling out his chakram 'Everyone look here! On the count of Jango you will all be fully healed and super strong, enough to destroy the village' he says as he swings the bladed disk

'He's kidding right?' Nami whispers, Usopp and Luffy shrug as Kaos rolls up his sleeves

 **One, Two…**

 **Dazzle!**

… **Jango!**

Just before he could finish a blinding flash of light filled the beach, assisted by the hypnotist's own mirrored sunglasses

'They're still on the ground' Usopp cheers

'Of course, his hypnosis needs line of sight to work. Dazzle stoped that, well for the most part' he grins and starts to walk forward

Jango growls 'You bastard! You ruined everything' he yells, slamming his fist into the ground, leaving a small crater… it seems Captain Jango's hypnotised himself again

'Did you know that due to the way my fruit works I'm immune to some of its effects?' Kaos asks

'Makes sense, your arms flash outwards and they're in front of your face' Nami answers then shrugs 'What's that got to do with anything?'

'Plenty' Kaos smiles as he turns his head up, revealing white eyes, Jango's hypnotism got him 'Now if you'll excuse me I have a weirdo to punch the fuck out'

Kaos ran full pelt at Jango, dodging the hypnotist's punch (leaving another crater in the wall) by jumping into a handstand on the man's shoulders, then spring boarding over him and kicking him in the shoulder, smirking at the audible crack it caused. Jango reacts with a swift kick to the side, tossing Kaos several feet before he gets to his feet

' _Damn I think he cracked a rib'_ he thinks, the stabbing pain and grinding confirmed it _'Yep definitely a rib… maybe 2'_ he tries to find a position where it didn't feel like he was stabbing himself in the lung so was surprised when Jango practically appeared out of thin air in front of him

'You're easily distracted' Jango says as he throws a right cross to the pale man's face, Kaos rolling on the ground before standing up with a bloody grin, coughing a little before spitting up a wad of blood

'Impressive, guess you're more than just a shitty hypnotist after all' he shrugs 'Still I'm afraid I can't let you harm this village' Jango quirks an eyebrow before Kaos became like a shining blur and the Black Cat captain was clothes lined, the forward momentum throwing him into and destroying their ship's figurehead. Kaos sighs before dropping to his knees with a grunt: the enhanced strength Jango's hypnotism grants really does a number on you once it ends, coupled with the injures the hypnotist's own super strength caused and he was going to need a few minutes if Luffy or the others needed anything. Though at least he had these weaklings' mutters to amuse himself with.

'He took out Jango'

'Yeah but he looks nearly done himself'

'You volunteering to get rid of that behemoth?'

'Nah I ain't that stupid'

'Let's just finish the plan while he's there, the others looked like pushovers in comparison'

'Yeah'

Zoro snorts 'Hey Luffy, want to deal with these morons?'

'Sure' the rubber boy nods, marching in place and punching the air

The swordsman smirks 'Then let 'em have it' he orders, Luffy running into the crowd of enemy pirates

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

Even though he was still coughing up blood and shakily rising to a standing position Kaos grinned; Luffy was going to wipe the floor with those idiots, possibly Jango too again, knowing the side effect of a moving gattling at the moment… Once Luffy starts, stopping is a problem, one Jango and the Black Cats were about to learn if any of them were brave enough to stand in the rubber boy's way

Seeing Luffy's multiple flying fists on a collision course for his face Jango groans and fumbles for his ring, swinging it a few times her quickly order 'On the count of Jango you will fall asleep!'

 **1, 2, Jango**

Luffy stopped running, immediately keeling over, loud snores escaping his unconscious form

'You people are starting to annoy me. Meowban Brothers, Sham! Buchi! Get out here now!' Jango orders and 2 more guys leave the ship: one was a large round man with a bell on his neck and the other was a thinner green haired man, both in similarly cat themed attire, none of the group were really sure what to make of the 2

' _Great, more weirdoes'_ Nami thinks, really hating this island

'Yes Captain?'

'We need to get up this hill but our path is blocked by that green haired swordsman, I need you to remove him' Jango explains, the brothers look at Zoro who glares and they tense

'No way, he's much too strong for us! Right Buchi?' Sham, the green one shrieks

'Right!' Buchi agrees

'Besides, we're just meant to guard the ship, not do actual fighting' Sham adds

'Hm, bunch of scardy cats indeed' Zoro mutters angrily, why'd the others get to fight and he was stuck with these morons?

Jango growls and hits both of them 'This is no time for that act, if we don't get moving quickly Kuro will have our heads! Sham get to it!' he yells

'Yes boss' he nods and charges, almost vanishing in a burst of speed which Zoro barely manages to block

' _Damn this bastard's strong'_

'I'm impressed you managed to block me' Sham smirks and licks his hand 'You have some skills but don't think it means you can beat Sham of the Black Cat Pirates'

It was then Zoro notices what's on the cat weirdo's back 'Hey those swords are mine give them back!'

'Why, you already have one you don't need anymore' Sham laughs and tosses them down the slope 'Bye, bye swords, not that it matters you have bigger things to worry about' he lashes out again, Zoro mostly ignoring him other than taking a slice at him in his mad dash for his swords, Unfortunately Sham was faster than he looked and managed to restrain Zoro, slamming into his back 'Buchi, get over here!'

'Oh right, my turn' the larger brother hopped into the fray, only a well timed dodge stopping him bulk landing on Zoro's head

'You missed Buchi' 'Well I won't a 2nd time, hold him still better next time' the brothers argued

Zoro grunts 'I do better with 3 swords but 1 will have to do against you idiots'

'We better get to work then' Sham grins and the brothers leap at the swordsman

 **Grand March of the Pussywillows**

Reduced to only one sword Zoro was stuck on the defensive, his skills were good but against 2 furiously striking multi-bladed opponents he was getting cut up by their cat claws

'We have to do something' Nami says worryingly and she was right: With Luffy sleeping and Kaos both at the other end of the slope and still getting through the damage to his ribs and jaw from Jango's hypnotic assault her and Usopp were all Zoro had

Usopp pulls himself to his feet and aims his slingshot 'Don't worry, I got this'

 **Lead Star**

The shot hit it's target dead on, well it would have had Zoro not moved into the line of fire while dodging one of the brother's swipes, getting the ball right in the spine, leaving him wide open to an attack

'Oh no I made it worse' Usopp screams as the brothers lay into Zoro, tearing into him quite badly

It was a couple minutes of Zoro mostly parrying the brothers swipes before enough was enough for one Straw Hat

' _Zoro needs those swords'_ Nami thinks before doing something stupid: she runs down the path, around the Meowsan brothers to try retrieve Zoro's other 2 blades and nearly made it

'Stupid girl' Jango whispers as Nami fall to the ground with a deep gash in her shoulder, turning she sees the hypnotist spinning one of his chakram on his finger, looking smug until he looked up ' **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** _Fuck_ '

There standing at the top of the cliff was Klahadore/Kuro, his face a mask of contempt as usual, only the bag he was carrying made his appearance any different than any other day.

'What the Hell is going on?' Kuro yells, all the Black Cats pale significantly 'I gave you a perfect plan like all my plans and you stopped by children? Useless!'

The Meowsan brothers tense angrily 'That's easy for you to say'

'Yeah lounging around in that mansion for 3 years

'We've been fighting to survive'

Kuro sniffs dismissively 'That supposed to impress me?' he asks, getting them madder

'You bastard! Taste our claws of fury!' they yell and pounce, shredding through… an empty bag? [Oh Shit!]

'My turn' they hear Kuro whisper, appearing behind them with barely a flicker and before they knew it they were trapped, one wrong move and the katana length blades on Kuro's gloves would skewer them

' _With his pussyfoot manoeuvre; he could kill us all before we even knew it. He's just as lethal as he always was, he even still lifts his glasses with his palm to avoid cutting his face, as if the cat claws were always a part of his body'_ Jango panics, an angry Kuro was bad for the survival of everyone on this beach, not just Kaya, Usopp and the Straw Hats.

'But you know what, I'll give you all one last chance. You have 5 minutes to deal with these children, if you can't do that, I'll make sure your insides are on the outside' Kuro removes the blades from their throats and walks back to the top of the slope 'Well? Chop, chop!'

'Oh course Captain Kuro!' Jango yells 'Men, eliminate them!' he orders, though is confused when Nami, instead of picking up either of the swords she had been scrambling for, just kicked them at Zoro (much to the green haired teen's annoyance)

'How about a thanks, you look like you needed them' Nami smirks, trying to ignore her pain

Zoro chuckles slightly 'Thanks witch. Now' he turns, getting into a ready stance 'Let's try this again, but seriously this time'

Shem scoffs 'You couldn't beat us with 1 sword' 'what makes you think you can with 3?' Bushi finishes

Zoro chuckles 'With 1 sword I'm only good, with 3 I'm practically undefeatable'

'We'll see about that!' the brothers charge… directly into an attack

 **Tiger Trap**

'What did I just say? My skills with 3 swords are unmatched, you never stood a chance'

'We're fucked' Jango mutters to himself as their best fighters fell at his feet having flown through the air over Zoro's head, until something grabbed his leg

'Captain. Hypnotise me captain, I can take him down' Buchi blubbered from his position on the ground

Kuro's eyebrow twitched 'He's still alive? Not sure if I should be impressed by him or insulting you for doing such a sloppy job'

Zoro also seemed surprised 'Huh? Guess all that blubber was good for something' then he saw Jango kneeling before the fatter Meowban who then bulked up like the hulk ' _Shit! That didn't happen when he hypnotised himself and Kaos._ Fuck' he swore before the monster of a mindless cat pirate leap at him

Seeing an opportunity Nami runs for her captain ' _Maybe while Zoro deals with those weirdos I can wake the lazy bum up, we need all the help we can get if Kuro's as bad as these guys claim'_ she thinks while Jango watches

'Stupid girl, don't you know when to quit' he whispers, spinning one of his chakram before letting it fly, heading straight for Nami's neck

'Come on, get up' Nami pleads as Luffy continues to snore, unaware of her demise flying towards her… until it's caught on a _Wakizashi_

The sound of metal on metal caused her and the just barely conscious Luffy to look behind her. Kaos was holding the sword straight up, Jango's hypnotist ring sitting on the guard like it was part of a simple ring game, rather than something that nearly killed their navigator

Kaos tuts dismissively 'Really Jango, the point of having these things on strings is so they don't go flying and if they're meant to then the string is pointless. Here, let me show you' he rotates his blade upside-down so the ring drops before righting it again. The katana's blade appears to melt before quickly reforming into it's default Khopesh form, which he then proceeds to spin fast enough for the images to blur together before shooting it at Jango, the hypnotist barely dodging , the blade nicks his forearm before continuing on to leave a hole in the cliff about the size of his head. With what looked to Nami to be a simple flex of his arm muscles the blade was recalled, Kaos catching and stopping it an inch from his eye.

'Glad to see you're finally finished your damn naps, both of you!' Nami screeches, the older one ignoring her while the younger isn't quite conscious enough to even give a shit about whatever words were flowing out of her mouth.

'Both of them are back!'

'We can't possibly beat them all in only a minute!'

Kuro's gonna kill us all'

'Hey Kaos, what I miss?'

'Butler showed up and Zoro had to fight 2 morons, one of which is roided out on Jango's hypno powers'

'Oh, so not much then?' Luffy shrugs and the 2 begin walking back to the slope

'Times up, now you will all perish' Kuro announces flatly, but the sadistic smirk on his face said it all.

'Hey look it's that shitty butler guy!' Luffy yells, then groans in pain when Kaos hits him almost as hard as Nami does 'What was that for?'

'What's the point in asking me anything if you aren't going to listen?'

'Klahadore!' Kuro froze and everyone turns, seeing Kaya standing unsteadily at the top of the slope. Like a switch being flipped Kuro went from psychopathic pirate to kind butler

'Miss Kaya, why are you outside? It could worsen your condition heavily'

'I've heard some terrible things Klahadore, please tell me they're wrong' Kaya asks quietly

'Miss Kaya, all I have ever been is your faithful butler and that is what I shall always be…'

 _Click_

'I don't believe you, Usopp tried to warn me but I didn't listen. You hurt Merry, you hurt Usopp and I won't let you hurt anyone else!' Kaya yells, her anger obvious on her face, now if only the gun she was holding wasn't practically vibrating

TBC

LW: Well here we go, shit's about to get real. Also, hi Kaya. One more chapter and then we move on to the next arc.

By the way, I know Luffy breaking Jango's chakram with his teeth is kind of awesome and might even count as foreshadowing for the Arlong arc… but I wanted to play with ? and catching a flying deathring as well as showing off it's transforming capabilities was the perfect chance, she does love do show off doesn't she? Real name will be revealed in Loguetown if anyone is curious, and Kaos' Devil Fruit will be revealed in Arlong Park (I remember someone asking back in chapter 1's reviews. Hope that answers your question Lammergeier13)

 _Techniques/Lore_

Tiger Trap: Zoro puts his hand swords over his mouth blade and swings forth a forward descending slash with them.

That's taken directly from the wiki as I don't know what the hell was happening.

March of the Pussywillows: The Meowban brothers leap at their opponent and then repeatedly slash at them with their cat claws.

Lead Star: Usopp loads a lead or pachinko ball into his slingshot and fires it at his enemy.

What? Some are pretty easy to understand, they're not all weird/confusing

Pussyfoot: One of the few high speed techniques common in anime in this series (I believe the other is Soru), with it Kuro can move 100 metres in 4-5 seconds, almost as if teleporting.

On an unrelated note I thought I'd clarify something: I've pointed out Kaos is tall a couple of times in this fic, unfortunately that means precisely jack shit in One Piece considering the ' _normal_ ' humans can be up to 17 ft tall apparently (O_O thank you Katakuri… also besides having Big Mom as a mother I think he counts as a normal human, I mean he's not a Long Leg like Smoothie or something is he?) and let's not even mention the actual giants (Little Garden and Elbaf).

So I'm stating right here his height is 8 foot even, and while I was trying to decide this and compare it to other characters I realised how physically similar he is to Brook, in height and build having a slim (but not skeletal like the Soul King) body plan and taller than most humans, the super perv eventually becomes the tallest Straw Hat at over 9 ft post time skip (Don't know if either height includes the afro… don't look at me). If anyone needs a convenient yard/measuring stick he's between Arlong and Crocodile in size (Arlong's 7'10" and Croco-man's 8'3"). Don't know if that just makes him look huge by East Blue standards or it shows it's pretty normal once they get to the Grand Line and all their million kinds of insanity.


	7. The return of Captain Kuro

LW: Okay everyone, who's ready for a very dangerous cat to be declawed?

Morgan: Oh, oh me I do!

LW: How'd you even… you know what, never mind. Hello little bud thanks for showing up

Morgan: Ren gave directions. So do we start now?

LW: Just need to push the button. Enjoy

Rubber King and Mirror Master – The return of Captain Kuro

Despite having a gun pointed at his head Kuro barely reacted 'Well it seems you're all grown up Miss Kaya, ready to take care of your own problems' he removes one glove and reaches out to her 'We've spent so much time together these past 3 years, even before your parents died, you were more than my master you were my best friend. I brought you shopping, nursed you when you fell ill and we talked for hours on end. We did it all …'

'Klahadore' Kaya squeaks, her grip loosening slightly

'… and I hated every moment of it!' Kuro yells, slicing down at Kaya…

 _Kling Klang_

…but another blade weaved its way between the cat claws, stopping his swing

'Hey kitty litter, did ya miss me?' Kaos asks with a grin 'Hey Kaya, now might be a great time to run'

'K-k-kaos?' Kaya stutters

Kuro pulls back and frowns 'Well this is inconvenient but honestly, I'm glad to run into you again, you did leave quite a mark when you struck me. Let me return the favour'

Kuro uses his pussyfoot to launch a sneak attack

' _Hm, that's interesting'_ Kaos muses before attempting to mirror it as closely as he could. 'Son of a bitch!' he yells a minute later, 5 long slash marks across his chest. He was glad his fruit at its current level was able to reduce the damage, even if it still managed to injure him

'Fuck, Bastard' Kuro grunts as he pulls the knife out of his thigh ' _How was he able to do that? Few people can even follow my movements while using pussyfoot, but he managed to actually attack me as well'_ he fumes internally, but with everything else going on his inner anger was starting to show on the outside as well.

'I suppose there is one use for taking a hit like this' Kuro raises an eyebrow at the boys words

'What?' he asked, and then the answer hit him…. Right in the back of his head.

'A diversion of your focus' he answers, Luffy's arm returning to it's normal length as the butler lay face down on the ground, quietly steaming.

'Usopp pirates defence manoeuvre!' the 3 kids yell, jumping out of the forest to slam anything they could onto Kuro's body, mostly aiming for his head as even they knew head injures are a major issue

Usopp pushes himself to his knees 'What are you doing here?'

'We overheard your plan, plus the tall guy in the funny hat asked us where the North Shore was, so we knew where you were. Then Kaya and the butler went to the same place so we knew something was happening. We couldn't just walk away, now matter how dangerous it was!' Onion answers as the trio continue to wail on Kuro

'Kaos, any chance you can save them if butler guy gets up?' Luffy asks as he begins walking up the slope

'I suppose, shouldn't be too much of a problem' he shrugged as the kids run over to Usopp, mostly yelling at him for keeping secrets and hiding things from his ' _crewmates_ '

'Now isn't the time for any of this you need to run before…' Usopp stops as Kuro appears behind the kids, looking a little bruised in the face area but otherwise unharmed. The kids scream, but Kuro just walks around them instead using his energy to kick Usopp as far as he could

'That hurt. You people are quite strange, Devil Fruit users I presume?'

'Yep, I'm rubber now'

'I ate one too, not that it's any concern of yours what it does' Kaos replies with his near permanent smirk

Kuro frowns 'Jango, I'll handle these fools, then we'll have Kaya write me into her will' Jango sighs but agrees as always

Usopp sits up weakly, before turning to the kids 'Guys you need to get Kaya out of here right now'

'But Usopp…' Pepper tries to argue

'That is a direct order from your captain! Protect Kaya! Get her out of here!' Usopp yells, more commanding than they'd ever seen/heard him before

'Yes captain' the 3 kids replied as one before starting to usher Kaya back into the woods

Jango, eliminate the brats and complete the plan!' Kuro orders, Jango gulps but nods

'Yes captain Kuro' he says, running after the kids when his leg is hooked, causing him to trip followed by a mace to the back of his head.

'Stay put' Kaos growls, only to jump back from a strike from Kuro 'You don't give up, what's the angle this time?'

'It's simple really, either Jango goes after miss Kaya or I do, and I doubt you can stop me leaving as easily as him' Kuro sneers and Kaos sighs

'Fine he can…wait where'd he go?' Kaos looks over but Jango had already left

'It wasn't a suggestion imbecile, but a distraction, I'm sure you've been told how easily you get distracted haven't you?'

The fedora wearing pirate rolls his eyes 'it's come up in conversation' he answers, shrugging as if it was unimportant

'It'll get you kill, that's all. Buchi! Kill the damned swordsman already' he yells down the slope, where Zoro was trying to hold back the still hypnotised, hulking Meowban brother.

'Why won't you stay down? I told you to move!' Zoro growls as he kicks the brute away, far enough to reach for his others swords

 **Oni Giri**

That finally brought the brother down, and with Jango currently elsewhere he wasn't getting back up any time soon. This coincides with loud crashes coming from the forest

'Hm, seem Jango's really tearing up the place, see Usopp it's only a matter of time before he finds her and we take it all from her' Kuro grins smugly 'I suppose you're welcome to try help her, if you can stand' he laughs, watching the sniper struggle close to a standing position but a combination of Kuro's kick and the beating he took trying to hold back the regular Black Cats brought him to his knees again 'Pathetic, just as I thought' he sneers but disappears to dodge a **Gum Gum Pistol** aimed at his ribs

'Zoro, Usopp go save Kaya, we'll deal with Kuro' Luffy orders, the guys nod and Zoro helps Usopp into the woods

'You children really think you can take me on?' Kuro asks with a chuckle

'Yeah, we're going to kick your ass' Luffy says, cracking his knuckles, while Kaos starts spinning his blade of its cord.

'Then by all means take your best shot' he sneers but barely dodges a stretched punch from Luffy, getting a cut along his forearm from Kaos in the process

 **Gum Gum Spear**

Kaos sidestepps Luffy's legs as they fail to hit the former captain

'Damn it, he disappeared again' he grumbles, before Kuro is once more standing looking smug

'Before I kill you, why are you doing this? This village means nothing to you and yet you're risking your life for its safety'

Luffy grins 'I like Usopp and Kaya, I'm not gonna let them die today'

'Are you okay with them being the reason that you die though?'

'I suppose, if I were dying today'

Kuro scoffs 'Cocky brat' before rushing at him with his cat claws. Luffy stretches out his arms and grabs him before springing straight for him, only for Kuro to fling him off, much to the straw hat's annoyance

 **Gum Gum Whip**

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

He fires both in quick succession, but both fail to reach his target, even worse Kuro stands on his hyper extended arm, looking highly disinterested.

'This is quite boring; I thought you'd be worth my time after taking out all these weaklings by yourself'

'Cocky bastard' Luffy growls, Kuro doesn't respond verbally only running along his arm to attack, but Luffy was right he was overconfident and that costed him when he was blindsided by a kick to the ribs

'Remember me dumbass?' Kaos grins from Luffy's side as the rubber boy finally manages to pull back his arm 'One tracked mind you got'

'These guys are actually laying hits on the captain'

'Yeah but they both miss more than they hit'

'Kuro's got this in the bag, there's no way these newbies can take him down'

'Yeah, go Captain Kuro!'

'Shut up!' Kuro yells as he stands, surprising everyone 'Don't ever call me that again! The entire point of this is so I can finally be rid of that name and the life attached to it: Planning each and everyday, for a bunch of morons who care for nothing but causing mayhem wherever they go, being hunted by government dogs and bounty hunters day in and day out. I will end this Hell by days end! 3 years of planning and revising will reach it's completion and I will soon have wealth and peace do you brats understand?' he turns to Luffy and Kaos 'I will not have you stand in my way, not when I'm so close to my end goal' he runs at them, vanishing as he does .

 **Dazzle**

Kuro powers through the attack, blinking back stars as he attempts to impale the smug fuck, but was surprised when his cat claws imbedded themselves in a boulder

Luffy smirks 'Don't want a reputation? Then don't be a pirate!' he yells, snapping the blades on Kuro's right glove just before slamming it in the former butlers surprised face 'All you care about is money, you're just a greedy son of a bitch'

'Holy crap they broke one of his cat claws'

'Yeah but he still has the other one. You van do it Captain Kuro!'

'Kuro'

'Kuro'

'Kuro!'

'Enough!' Kuro yells silencing the rabble 'I must now deal with you in the only way available to me: Annihilation. Then I'll remove Jango from the picture as well as any of those brats he failed to eliminate on his own'

'But why kill us Captain? Once Jango hypnotises the girl the plan will work' one black cat asks

'Idiots, I never intended for anyone who knew my secret to live past this day, it's problematic that you were unable to complete the simple task I gave you but still you must be removed if my plan is to succeed

'You planned to kill us from the start?'

'Of course. It isn't enough simply for the authorities to believe Kuro is no more, I must ensure no body can ever reveal my identity to the world, and the best way to keep a secret is to kill everyone else who knows it' he pushes up his glasses and smirks

'You guys are the most uncool pirates ever' Luffy complains with a groan

'Plus you're a dick' Kaos adds, leaning on the rubber boy as a stand

'If you won't leave then I guess we'll have to do this the hard way' Kuro readjusts his glasses and starts to sway almost drunkenly from side to side, Luffy and Kaos were confused while the Black Cats began to collectively shit themselves

'Why's he in that position?'

'Using that against 2 people, that's beyond overkill'

'And with all of us here? He could kill us'

'Hey Kaos, any idea what he's doing?' Luffy asks, the elder shrugged but also tightened his grip on his blade

'I don't know Luffy, but if those guys chatter is anything to go on, it's not good'

 **OUT OF THE BAG ATTACK!**

Kuro disappears, a purple cloud/shockwave passing through the area, an aura of fear filling it

'He's gone' Luffy yells 'What do we do?'

An answer didn't come immediately, mostly because it's speaker needed to quickly sidestep and in return got his left side shredded, as well as the stone wall behind him

'Shit!' Kaos swears, panting as the pain burns through him, using his fruit to summon a silver coloured resin looking material, hoping it will hold his wounds closed for the moment, not that he'd ever used it for that purpose. He grimaced as cold shoots up his spine but at least his side resembled a broken mirror or badly healed scars rather than 5 long slashes, still dripping blood. The pirates turned when they heard pained yelps. Luffy seeing some of Kuro's crew being torn at like Kaos, while others were practically torn apart.

'All power, no control' Kaos notes and Luffy nods 'definitely a friendly fire kind of attack'

'His crew were right' Kaos raises an eyebrow 'This would be overkill for 2 people'

'Yeah, seems like an army vs one kind of technique'

'Maybe it is, I don't want to think anyone is capable of that but…'

'…he could be using it to cut down on the witnesses for when this is all over' his brother finishes the thought and the sentence for him

'Exactly' Luffy doesn't look happy, not one bit

'C-c-c-captain?' one stutters as Kuro returns to a visible speed

Kuro smirks 'Don't you see, these children's interference isn't even an altered course; my plan is still perfectly running along. Soon Kaya will have signed away everything to me, Jango will kill her and then I will ensure no witnesses survive so one person knows Captain Kuro is alive and that's me'

'Kaos grits his teeth 'And I presume Jango will meet the same fate as us?' he asks tensely

Kuro laughs 'Why of course, that secret must die wi…' his boast was interrupted by a **Gum Gum Pistol** to the face

' **You bastard! How can you do that, those men are your friends?** ' Luffy yells at the top of his lungs, so loud even Nami (Currently stripping the Black Cats ship bare) looked in his direction

'Friends? Ha they're just pawns, meant to fulfil my plans and nothing more'

'No! A crew is the most important thing for a pirate; they're your friends, your family. You don't just throw them away!' Luffy and Kaos charge in, Kuro smirks arrogantly and prepares to dodge. He almost does…

'Ahh!' he screams, clutching the bloody stump of his right arm, or at least trying to without doing more damage, looking over to see Luffy glaring at him, while Kaos smirks mirthlessly, shifting his grip on the handle of the large khyber knife he was currently using.

 _Meanwhile in the forest_

'Hey Onion, is that weirdo still following us?' Pepper yells back as the 4 keep running through the forest

'I don't see him, I think we're good for now'

'We better keep running, but at least there's no way that guy can catch us in out own forest' Carrot adds cheerfully, until they hear trees falling

'Come out, little girl I don't want to make you suffer, but I will if you continue to irritate me' Jango calls out to Kaya and the Usopp pirates, chopping down trees with just a flick of his wrists, his chakram slicing through several trees before flying back and being caught by the slowly maddening hypnotist.

'Ahh! We're all gonna die!' Onion screams until the others hit him

'Be quiet' 'He'll find us if you don't'

'There are options boys, you come out on your own or I level this forest and eviscerate you all.' Jango calls to the air, still unsure where his targets were. Luckily he then runs off in the wrong direction, meaning they could continue to evade him for a little while, until Kaya falls against a tree

'Ah Miss Kaya!' The boys yell in worry

'Sorry, you should probably just go' she whimpers tiredly, not used to running much anymore

'No, we gave our word we'd protect you and there's no way we'd go back on it, not with the captain trusting us with something so important to him' Pepper argues, despite herself Kaya smiles at the loyalty Usopp managed to inspire in these kids

'Oh no her fever's back, we need a doctor' Onion panics

'There's a man trying to kill us, we can't just magic up a doctor right now'

'But if Kaya gets any worse…' he's interrupted by more falling trees and Jango's loud yelling

Kaya sighs 'You tried your best but you should go while you still can' she whispers, sitting back against a boulder

Onion frowns 'If we run away now we'll live to see another day'

'And Usopp did always say to get away if you're going to lose' Pepper adds

'Then again, our captain is a liar, and if he's risking his life for Kaya then he must think he can win' Carrot argues, getting nods from the others

Onion and Pepper nod 'We swore to protect Kaya and we're not leaving her, agreed?'

'Agreed!'

A few minutes later Jango sees a stampede worth of tracks and grins 'Got yah, _though how I didn't notice this earlier is astounding, people running in terror are rarely stealthy_ ' he adds as an after thought until he reached the supposed end of the line 'There you are' he thinks aloud before yelling 'Get out here you brats!' though the appearance of a white flag did surprise him

'We surrender, we'll bring you to the girl just don't kill us!'

Jango scoffs 'You think I'm some kind of idiot, I'm not falling for any of your tricks' he says before once more being tripped, this time by a rope pulled the 2 of the 3 Usopp pirates ' _Ah crap'_ he thinks as he's 'attacked' by the kids, which consisted of pepper to the face (annoying but not too bad) and a flying pan to the groin (Damn! Usopp pirates are vicious O_O), though both appeared to be a distraction for their real attack, jumping off a boulder to bludgeon him like they did Kuro… except it didn't work, Jango managing to sidestep their attack and grab Onion out of thin air by the throat

'You brats, think you can make a fool out of me!?'

'Jango let them go!' the yell caused the hypnotist to pause but it wasn't until he turned that he began to panic: Kaya standing with one of his chakram to her throat

'Now let's not be hasty little girl' he stood with his hands up

'You want me dead anyway, might as well hurry things along'

Jango grits his teeth 'I need you to sign everything over to Kuro first'

The corner of Kaya's lip curls 'Let the kids go and I won't fight back, I'll even sign everything over willingly, no need to even hypnotise me'

Jango looks thoughtful before pushing up his heart shades 'You drive a hard bargain Miss Kaya. Just remember if they fight back the deal's off'

Kaya nods 'I understand, you guys can go'

Onion sniffles 'But Kaya, we promised Usopp we'd protect you. We can't just abandon you'

'You can if I tell you to save yourselves. So RUN!' the boys gulp at the strong look in her eyes, then they soften again 'If I'm meant to live he will save me, but I'm not putting anyone else at risk but me' the kids heads drop but they run like she said

'You do know Kuro will kill them?' Jango asks sympathetically, to which Kaya nods

'You know Kuro will do the same to you when this is over?' she reflects, to which Jango grimaces, he knew it was a possibility he just hoped he was wrong

'Lets just get this over with. Sign the will and everything will be Kuro's in the event of your death' he orders, passing her the page and pen.

'Stop!' both turn as Zoro appears the clang of metal is heard and he stops behind them. Jango frantically searching for wounds … until he hears the branch fall and smirk

'You missed me 3 swords'

'Zoro's reply worries him 'You aren't my target'

'Thanks Zoro, that branch was in the way of my shot. Now… Stay away from Kaya!'

 **Exploding Star!**

The projectile flies, striking Jango in the forehead, creating a small bang and smoke cloud knocking him out, Kaya giving him a couple kicks to the head just to be safe.

 _Back with the Captain :D_

'Bastards, do you have any idea what you've done?' Kuro yells down at them

Kaos puff his lips and shrugs 'I think I just cut off one of your arms, but I wasn't paying much attention. Luffy?'

'You cut off the wrong arm' the rubber boy replies tensely.

'Well don't think you'll get another hit in' he spits before swaying once more

 **Out of the Bag Attack**

Kuro vanishes once more, tearing up the slope with little to no consistency or pattern to his mayhem

'See it?'

'Yeah, let's go'

 **Traptrix**

The man of 1,000 plans stumbles as a rubber arm catches one leg and barbed wire wraps around the other, Kuro unable to respond as in the dust cloud caused by his fall he's pulled towards the duo, stopping only when his torso reaches Kaos' open palm and the wires immobilise his limbs

'Let me go!' he yells in the boy's face

'Nah' he shrugs, the wires tightening like vines at the slight tilt of his sword hilt, but then he grins widely 'Hey do know one thing I've learnt I'm really good at?' he then takes his hand off Kuro's chest to poke him in the forehead 'Distractions' he watches Kuro's eyes widen in fear or panic he wasn't sure before leaning to the side…

 **Gum Gum Bell**

… and avoiding a full speed rubber head butt from Luffy, his captain finally unwrapping his legs from the older's lumbar region (I call it that rather than anything else because ever energetic and twitchy Luffy was kicking him in that section of his spine/back) as Kuro falls, the wire dissolving as Kaos returns it to it's base form.

'These guys beat Captain Kuro'

'Not even the marines could do that'

'Yeah man of 1,000 plans, and they still managed to take him out'

'What kind of monsters are they?'

Luffy finally speaks to them 'I'm Monkey D Luffy. A pirate only forsakes his name with death…'

 _Snap_ _ **Gurgle**_

Luffy's eyes widen and he turns in panic 'Kaos, that's not what I meant! I was speaking phlisophically, or is it metaphorically?' he rubs his head as Kaos drops the man's heart.

'He twitched, I reacted. If I'd been closer to his head he might've just lost an eye and had his head slammed into the ground' Kaos shrugged unapologetically, but it was the look in his eyes that resembled a certain Admiral that had the Black Cats pissing themselves and trying to get back to their ship as fast as possible.

'I think you scared them off' Luffy deadpans 'Also Nami's curled up on the beach clutching her treasure to her chest, think we should be worried?'

'Kaos chuckles 'You might need to be, I'm going to go see if Zoro's up for day-drinking, we've done too much work for one day already' Luffy chuckles at his brother before going to check on their navigator, he didn't want there to be problems between his crewmates after all.

That Evening

Kaya returned to her room at a more sedate pace than would be expected for a day like today, sure she was beyond happy and grateful Usopp and her new friends saved her and stopped Kuro (she couldn't think of him as Klahadore) she wouldn't have told Merry to prepare the ship for them if she wasn't, nor let them spend the night in some of her mansion's many spare bedrooms, but they would be leaving tomorrow and whether he knows it or not Usopp would be leaving with them. And that was her problem, she knew this was what he wanted, but she didn't want to loose another person so precious to her, not again. She was so distracted she didn't realise a boy was sitting in her window until he knocked on the wall.

'Usopp?' she shrieks as she jumps, when she calms down she looks again 'Wait, you're not Usopp'

'Sesese. No I'm not but I'm here on behalf of my captain' Kaos replies, his smile growing as the blond shuffles closer

'What does he want?'

The morning

It turned out when there was a good enough reason even Zoro could get up at a reasonable time, and seeing their new ship was definitely a good reason. Merry was happy to give the Straw Hats a tour of the ship, before letting the guys move their supplies and Nami her treasure into the Going Merry. Luffy was quick to claim the figure head as his chair/thinking place ('Not that he does that often' Nami jokes and even Kaos cracks a smirk) while his first mate and navigator familiarise with the controls and Zoro napped

'Hey guys, there are 2 proper, private bedrooms, so I call…'

'Those are for me and Kaos, Captain's order' Luffy interrupts

'Hey I wanted the damn room so shut up, the lanky bastard doesn't even look like he cares!' Nami yells at him with shark teeth

Zoro cracks an eye open 'I don't know why you're even caring, you're the only girl on the crew, whatever room you have is a private room for you' he mutters, missing the fedora wearing boy's shit-eating grin

'So is everything ready and to your liking?' Kaya asks as she stands beside Merry, the man so pleased to see his creation about to actually see so use after so long.

'Yeah it's great, thanks Kaya!' Luffy calls down, flashing a 'D' grin

'Somebody stop this crazy thing!' everyone looks up at the screaming to see Usopp rolling out of control towards the docks, on a collision course with the Going Merry

'He's gonna hit the ship!' Nami yells

'Not if we have anything to say about it' Luffy replies nodding to Kaos and Zoro who follow him to the side, the long nose getting stopped then his back found a foot from Luffy and Zoro (to either side of his head) and Kaos' hands directly above him

'Um thanks guys' he muttered, Kaos and Luffy laughing it off while Zoro grunts and goes back to finding a good place to sleep ' _These guys are odd but really nice'_

After untangling himself from his supplies he saw Kaya smiling at him from the gangplanks and smiles back before offering his arm and walking her onto the Merry, it had been quite the unexpected news but he was glad it happened.

Usopp had been worried after accepting Luffy's invitation, this was his dream but it still felt like he was abandoning his friends and Kaya… oh Kaya, he needed to speak to her; he didn't want to be another person to disappear from her life

'Kaya!' he calls from outside her window, the blond opens it sleepily

'Usopp? Come in, it's cold this early in the morning' she sidesteps allowing him to enter her bedroom where he shuffles nervously

'Listen Kaya, I have some important news'

Kaya nods 'I do too'

'I'm joining Luffy's crew' 'I'm joining Luffy's crew'

'What!?' he yells in shock, also confused as to why Kaya had no other reaction to his news than to smile 'How?'

'Kaos was here earlier, to extend an invitation on Luffy's behalf. I'm going to be a doctor one day Usopp that's my dream, so I might as well be the one patching up my friends when they get into crazy scraps' she smiles teasingly before getting pulled into a tight hug by the sniper 'Usopp?'

'I was so worried you'd feel I was abandoning you, but to hear you're coming with us fills me with joy, and a little worry, but mostly joy' Kaya returns his hug until he lets her go

'We have a few more hours till we set sail Usopp, see you then' she kisses his cheek and lightly pushes him towards the window, goofy grin on his face as his grapple lets him simply flop out the window.

Back in the present, Kaya and Usopp were slack jawed at the sheer number of weapons Kaos pulled out and lay on the table; the assortment of blades and small firearms was mind boggling

'What were you saying about pulling an armoury out his ass?' Zoro grins as he closes Nami's mouth for her

'Luffy said no, his coat maybe but not his ass' she replies, Kaos grinning as he can very clearly hear her

'I'm a bit of a hoarder, and a looter, which comes in handy if we're going to find Kaya a weapons that suits her'

'B-b-but I'm going to be the ship's doctor, plus you saw what happened with Klahadore'

'True, but we're not expecting you to stand at the front and charge at the enemy… that's Luffy, Zoro and my job, but you still need a way to defend yourself' he then picks up a pair of flintlocks and hands them to her 'And Usopp can help with your accuracy' the long nosed sniper nods, Kaya straightens her spine and accepts the weapons

'Let's do it'

TBC

LW: Like I said this 'arc' was my first real bit of altered canon, both Kuro dying and Kaya joining the crew. Look out for more changes both big and little as the Straw hats pirates are finally on their way to being a real pirate crew.

 _Techniques/Lore_

Luffy

Gum Gum Spear: Luffy puts the soles of his shoes/feet together, bends his knees and kicks out toe first. Due to it's requirements he either needs to be sitting or in mid air in order to use it but oh well.

Gum Gum Bell: Stretches his neck several feet behind him then slams it forward, delivering a devastating head butt. Obviously best used on immobile enemies, as unlike most of his attacks, this one seems to leave his vulnerable while actually using it.

Kaos

Traptrix: Sword shift, changing from a Khopesh into a longsword with a bear trap designed hilt/guard, wrapped in barbed wire which can be used to ensnare and immobilise enemies. (Yes it's named after a Yugioh Archtype, I have 1 or 2 more of those in Kaos' move pool) (If it helps it's actual inspiration is understood when it's rather messy finishing move is known as ' _ **Game Over**_ ')

Kuro

Out of the Bag Attack: Using his Pussyfoot to it's fullest extent alongside his Cat claws, the only downside being the trance he goes into means he has no control of idea what he's hitting, hence why Kaos and Luffy agree it's a friendly fire heavy kind of move.

Usopp

Exploding Star: A ball filled with gunpowder, explodes on impact.

Seeing as I know someone will ask, the certain admiral is Kizaru, old unclear justice himself (which fits given the being Kaos is the OP version of is a true chaotic neutral), usually he's more Aokiji's 'case by case' kind of neutral but sometimes he embraces the 'chaotic' part of his alignment name.


	8. Come Eat At Baratie

LW: Well here we are, the 1st appearance of a very special chef. Enjoy

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Come eat at Baratie

 **Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang,**

Kaya fired each pistol before tossing it back, Kaos behind her catching it before replacing it with a loaded one. She may not be hitting bull's-eyes but she was hitting near the middle rings, better than some of the others on the crew, especially dual wielding

'We need to get you a revolver at the next town, no make that 2' Kaos comments, Usopp nodding in agreement while Luffy claps madly and yelling about how awesome that was.

It was strange how good she was with 2 guns, given she could barely fire with one, only some half joking comments by Zoro and Kaos about balance and symmetry had them pass her a 2nd and once she got used to the weight and handling she took to it like a supersonic duck, the first mate wishing he had more than just single shot for her, but it was cool to see her trick shot in order to ' _reload_ '

With Kaya's training done for the day Luffy returned to his previous work, making their pirate flag. It was a work of sheer genius a Jolly Roger worthy of the next Pirate King…. If only Luffy had any artistic talents.

'So what do you think?'

'What is it?'

'It's our flag' Luffy replies with a grin

'Nope'

'No way in Hell'

'I could do a better job than that'

'I've never thought about burning a flag before… so let's throw it overboard'

Luffy frowns 'Well if you can do a better Jolly Roger be my guest' he grumbles before being pushed aside by Usopp

'Ta da, take at this masterpiece'

'It's okay I guess… oh who am I kidding this is awesome!' Luffy cheers excitedly

'And you even remembered who was in charge of the ship' Zoro teases and he was right: The crews official Jolly Roger was now the typical pirate skull, except it was wearing Luffy's iconic Straw Hat.

A couple hours later after Usopp had painted the design onto the sails and let it dry Luffy was once more bored so tried his luck at using the cannon to destroy a spire of rock sticking out of the water. He was missing by quite a large margin. The rubber boy's scattershot method of cannon fire irritated the sniper.

'Stand aside, let a pro deal with this'

'Bet you can't hit it' Luffy says with a scoff

'Bet I can' the 2 have a staring contest til Kaos got involved by slamming their heads together

'Shut up and get on with it, preferably before the seas destroys it for you'

Usopp straightens up and aims the cannon, focusing for a minute before firing, taking the rock out in one shot

'Awesome!' Luffy cheers, him and Usopp spin around happily, while Kaos rolls his eyes and smiles at the 2 idiots, until peace was ruined by the yelling of an idiot

'GET OUT HERE YOU DAMN PIRATES!'

'Hey, who are you and how did you get on our ship?' Luffy asks in confusion

'I'll show you what happens to pirates who cross out path' the guy yells as he swings his sword at Luffy, the boy dodging but the angry man still taking out a portion of the railings.

' _Kaya's not going to like that_ ' the captain thinks as he continues to avoid the weirdo's wild swings 'Screw it, STOP WRECKING THE SHIP!' he grabs the guy and flings him at the mast, knocking the wind out of him. It was at this point the others actually decide to see what kind of mess Luffy had attracted this time.

Zoro's eyes widen 'Johnny? What are you doing here?' he asks

'Huh? Big brother Zoro! What are you doing on a pirate ship?' the guy (now identified as Johnny) yells

'Take a wild guess' Zoro answers with a groan before a thought covers to him 'Hey wait a minute, where's Yosaku?'

Johnny bursts into tears, telling them how Yosaku had suddenly be struck down with some kind of sickness, teeth falling out, old wounds opening up and general weakness. They had been seeking shelter under a rock formation, when it suddenly exploded, Usopp and Luffy suddenly feeling very guilty

'And now Yosaku will die!' Johnny cries pointing overboard to where he'd tied his boat to theirs, Zoro tenses and the other 2 turn pale at the thought they may have killed someone.

'Fucking morons the lot of you' Nami mutters as she shoves past Zoro and Kaos to hop onto Johnny & Yosaku's ship. From there she began to poke and prod at the guy, even pushing open his mouth and pulling out his tongue as well as pulling back his eyelids

'Hey, show some respect for the dying you heartless witch!' Zoro yells down at her but she ignores him as would be expected.

'Um, Miss Nami' Kaya says from ship, her medical bag (which Kaos told her made her look cute, away from the others as neither needed the teasing) held in front of her pelvis 'While I'm glad you're sticking your hand in his mouth instead of me I was brought on as the ship's official doctor' the redhead blushed

'Sorry Kaya, it's still new to me, having so many new people around' the blond waves her off

'It's fine we're all like that right now' she briefly looks over Yosaku 'I presume you're trying to confirm your suspicion of scurvy yes?' Nami nodded

'Yeah and he does'

'Good. Luffy, Usopp get some limes from the kitchen so we can help Zoro's friend' the duo nod and run of, returning with the entire barrel, while Zoro, Johnny and Kaos lift him onto the Going Merry 'Now drip them into his mouth, there we go'

It may have been messy but eventually they managed to get enough into the man for him to sit up

'Yosaku, you're cured! 3 cheers for Big Sis Nami and Kaya' Johnny cheers as he helps his friend up. The 2 then started bouncing around much to Nami's annoyance, Kaya's confusion and Zoro's amusement

'Well they're certainly…energetic' Kaya says, sweat drop on her forehead.

'And crazy to do that so soon after being at Death's door' Kaos adds, proved correct when Yosaku is once more on the ground, Johnny following him due to a punch to the head from Nami

'MORONS!' she screams 'Johnny was right about you being a deaths door a little while ago, you can't just get better that fast. Keep this up and you should be back to normal in about… 3 days?' she shrugs then turns to Kaya who nods in agreement '3 days should be fine'

'Thanks big sis Nami' Johnny wheezes, getting another punch

'So….. Who the fuck are you?' Kaos asks, Johnny helping Yosaku into a standing position

'I'm Johnny'

'And I'm Yosaku'

'And together, we're the most badass bounty hunters in the world' they announced with epic posing

'Cool, bounty hunters' Luffy cheers, stars in his eyes.

'Yeah, we used to run with Big bro Zoro, but he left a while back to continue his quest' Yosaku explains, before with a little swaying keels over once more

' _Here we go again_ ' Kaya sighs internally, while Johnny and Zoro move their friend to one of the free beds

 _Later_

'We need a cook!' Luffy yells, summarising the discussion they'd been having for the last 20 minutes (So at least he was actually following it I suppose) 'But where will we find one on the ocean?'

'I think I know somewhere' Johnny puts forward 'The food is like nothing you've ever tasted and I'm sure you'll be able to get someone there to join. But be warned, it's rather close to the Grand Line' he turns to Zoro 'And there are rumours the man you're looking for passes through on occasion' Zoro's reaction is to tighten his grip on Wado.

'Then it's settled… where is it?'

'The floating Sea Restaurant: Baratie'

'Nami! Set a course for Baratie' Luffy half orders, the navigator nodding and getting to work

 _Later… Again_

Johnny grins widely as he watches the others reaction to seeing the restaurant for the 1st time.

'It's a fish'

'So Cool!'

'Least they understand what a theme is'

'Hopefully the food is better than their taste in décor'

'It is quite a good surprise to see something so nice this far out to sea'

'So, ready to eat?'

'You bet!' the crew agree, all happy as can be, until a marine vessel almost rams into them

' _Ah crap'_ Kaos, Zoro and Nami think, Kaya slips in behind Usopp while Luffy is unaffected as he always is.

'Hm, never seen that flag before' a pink haired marine thinks as he walks over to the side of his ship

'My name is IronFist Fullbody, which of you is the Captain?' he yells over the side at them

Luffy steps forward, Usopp about to follow when Kaya's arms arounf his waist tighten and instead both step back, Kaos smiling lighting as he slips into position directly behind his captain

'My name is Luffy, we made our flag a couple of days ago.

Fullbody chuckles 'Cute' then his eyes wander over to Johnny and a once more awake Yosaku, both of whom were trying to stay out of sight 'Well look at that, a couple of 2nd rate rate bounty hunters finally got themselves captured by pirates' he laughs, annoying Johnny

'2nd rate! Could 2nd rate bounty hunters take on these?' he pulls out a stack of posters, most of which being crossed out, though the ones that interested the pirates more were the uncrossed ones that had also fallen out, including:

 **Nylock '** _ **Smiler**_ **' Morgan**

 **Comic '** _ **Bone Daddy**_ **' Century**

 **Bartolomeo**

 **Wicked Dick** (Getting a small smirk out of Zoro)

 **Greyback '** _ **Vampire**_ **' Henry**

' _ **Sawtooth**_ **' Arlong**

 **Nylock '** _ **Dragon**_ **' Grima**

' _ **Iron Mace**_ **' Alvida**

 **Buggy the Clown**

' _ **Whirlwind**_ **' Zelena**

 **Silenceo '** _ **Sniper**_ **' Apep**

' _ **Iron Bunny'**_ **Afton**

'Oh new update' Kaos says, snatching the fishman's wanted poster from Nami's hand

'Hey! What was that for?' she asks, surprised when the fedora wearing pirate pulls a binder out of his coat, opening it revealed a similar stack of varied posters, none of which were crossed off. He flicks through them until he comes to Arlong, from a few years back given the 18 million berri bounty, which he crossed off and replaced it for its new total of 20 million. He then returns it to their navigator.

'Deal with them quickly' Fullbody says with a hand wave, the marines loading the canon while he walks away with his date.

'I got this' Luffy says but is head slapped by Kaos who steps in front of him

'This requires a more directed method, you can deal with the idiots in the crossfire' he replies, interlocking his fingers and pushing his hands out palm forward, his powers forming something like a dish or hemisphere, then pulls back his pinkies, causing the upper section to bow outwards.

 **Mirror Wall**

The cannonball struck it directly, but the altered shape meant the ball was sent up and over the ship, landing harmlessly in the water. The marines were struck dumb, giving Luffy the chance to jump over to their ship and beat the ever loving shite out of them, while Nami pulled the Going Merry alongside the Baratie, during which Kaos released his ability and Kaya was checking his bruised palms as well as the nicks and grazes on his fingers, scolding him as she did for his 'stupidity' and 'recklessness'

 _In the restaurant_

Fullbody smiles at his date from across the table, the food delivered and the wine being poured by a blond man in a nice suit. The marine sips the drink before loudly announcing … ah who the fuck am I kidding? I have no idea what BS he spouted nor do any of us care. Sorry.

The waiter smirks 'Sorry, but it's not' the turns before anything else can be said as laughter fills the restaurant

It was this our pirates enter to, the blond speeding over to them the moment he saw Nami and Kaya

'And what can I do to satisfy the hunger of a pair of goddesses like yourself?' he asks with a heart replacing his visible eye

'Salad would be nice, but I'm not sure if I can afford such a well prepared dish' Nami pouts and the blond swoons

'All on the house miladies' he smiles 'All you bozos will need to pay in full though' he turns serious when he turns to the guys

'Then it's a good thing this is Nami's treat, free food!' Kaos cheers with a shit eating grin on his face

' I NEVER SAID THAT! PAY IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY BUM!' Nami yells over him

'Don'y care who pays, just bring me meat!' Luffy yells over them both, annoying the blond

'Luffy may be blunt but he has a point, steak please' Kaos orders, the others following suit. Kaya picking the lightest thing she could find, while Zoro orders the same as Kaos but with stronger booze.

'Oy waiter!' it was an annoyed Sanji who found himself once more standing at Fullbody's table

'I already told you I'm not a waiter' he sighs then smiles at the blond at the table 'Well hello darling, how about you come with me somewhere nice and I'll get you a nice bottle of wine' she giggles as he turns on the charm, until Fullbody once more draws his attention

'Hey over here! Is bug soup on the menu or did you make if just for me?' he asks, pointing to the insect bobing around in his soup ' _Take that you lousy waiter'_ he smirks internally

'I have no idea, it looks like he's floating, though it could be swimming or more likely drowning, who can tell with critters like that?' he smirks and stifled laughter is heard from all the nearby tables

'He's making me look like a fool' Fullbody thinks and his anger gets the better of him, slamming his fist into the table and throwing what was left of their meal all over the floor

Luffy may be oblivious to almost everything while eating but Usopp and Kaos weren't, both tensed when Lieutenant Fullbody started making a scene, though even their Captain saw the blond kick the ever loving shit out of the pink haired idiot

'Sanji' Was shouted across the ship, everyone turning to it's source: An older blond who might be Sanji's father, most likely the head chef based on his really tall hat, with a braided moustache and a peg leg (like a real fucking pirate) 'Fighting with the customers again?' he grunts, Fullbody smirked until he got the old man's peg leg to his face as he was kicked out of the restaurant 'And stay out, you trouble maker'

' _What's wrong with these people? Serving pirates, abusing their customers….'_

'Lieutenant Fullbody , Gin has escaped!' A marine yells as he ran to the pink haired marine

'What? How? We haven't fed him in 3 days!'

 **BANG!**

No answer came as a shot rang out and the marine dropped dead, Fullbody making a hasty retreat as a frail, dark skinned man in grey clothes stumbled into the Baratie

'Welcome aboard ye crook, and how will you be paying?' Asked a large man with Popeye arms

Gin raises his gun 'You take lead?' he threatens but the man just frowns

'No money? Well too bad!' he yells, slamming Gin's head into and then through the nearby table

'Damn it Patty, that's the 3rd table this month!' the head chef shouts angrily

'Gin sits up slowly 'Just get me something'

Patty scoffs 'Nope, our policy is simple, paying customers only. No money, no food' while the civilians were cheering the cook standing up to a pirate only the head chef noticed Sanji disappear. After kicking him a few times, probably to make sure he was too weak to knife him in a minute, he picks Gin up, tosses him over his shoulder and throws him out the side door 'And stay out!' he hollors as he shuts the door.

'Fuck, if I wasn't so weak with hunger I couldn't taken that guy, and then I'd be in there, eating' Gin thinks/complains his senses dulled to the point he didn't realise he wasn't alone out there until Sanji placed the tray right under his nose

'Eat up' he grunts as he sits against the railing, lighting a cigarette and waiting

'Take it away, I don't want your charity or your pity' Gin managed to get out, his hunger and his pride clashing

' _Idiot_ ' Sangi scoffs ' _This is going to take a while'_

Luffy comes out just as Sanji gets Gin to eat, the man almost in tears

'Thank you, this food is delicious, I never thought I'd get to eat again' he sniffles and wipes his eyes before continuing to stuff his face

'You're lucky he gave you that food, you looked like a goner' Luffy says with a slight chuckle, not that Gin noticed, too engrossed with filling his belly after so long. He then turns to Sanji 'Hey Cook Guy, join my crew!' he says partly asking partly ordering

'I refuse, I'm staying here'

'Well I refuse your refusal. I'll try again tomorrow. Bye Sanji' the straw hat cheerfully walks away from the angry blond

'Hey idiot, that's not how that works'

When Luffy returned to the table the others couldn't help but notice his cheerful demeanour 'What's got you in such a good mood?' Zoro asks

'I found us a cook'

'Yay!' everyone cheers

'Now I just need to get him to join us' 3 heads hit the table as the other 4 stare at the Captain. Kaos and Zoro beginning to see a pattern in Luffy picking the most resistant person he could find and wearing them down till they agreed emerging, while for Nami this was yet another ' _Luffy you're a fucking idiot_ ' moment to add to all the others

The next couple of days were both good and bad for the Straw Hats and company as Luffy near constantly tried to get Sanji to join the crew, even getting a little help from the old guy Zeff on occasion, on the one hand this was the best food many of them had eaten in a while, but other than Nami and Kaya the others were paying out of pocket, the crews Bisento of a 1st mate knew they could afford it for now, but were going to have to leave before month's end, for that reason both Kaos and Kaya offered to assist the cooks just in case Sanji proved more stubborn than Luffy, though the purple haired pirate doubted that was even possible.

Fortunately for their funds at least, on the 3rd day Gin returned, a bulky grey haired man leaning on him as they entered. While none of the Straw Hats knew him, the chefs did

'Don Krieg!' Carnie yells, quickly causing a panic

'Please, I need some food. I can pay just bring me something' Krieg wheezes painfully

'Hey look at him, the great Don Krieg wasting away' Patty laughs 'Quick someone call the marines, this is the one chance we'll ever get' he yells then throws one of his large arms in front of Sanji 'And where do you think you're going?'

'To bring him food dumbass, if they're hungry they're customers and he can even pay this time so why are you complaining?'

'Because he's Don Kreig, we feed him he'll just destroy everything yo…' Patty doesn't finish his insult because he find's Sanji's shoe in his face and the wall meeting the back of his head

'Sorry about him, he's kind of a dick' Sanji apologises as he places the food in front of the kneeling pirate Commander.

'Thank you kind sir' Kreig wheezes before practically throwing the food into his mouth.

'Do you have any idea what you've done!' yelled one of the cooks

'Fed a man so he wouldn't die' Sanji answers with a shrug, though was unprepared when he was thrown against the wall by a clothesline from Kreig

'That was some good food. I can actually feel my strength returning to me' he smirks 'Now there are 100 men still on my ship, they'll need to be fed next' he orders, pointing back toward his severely damaged galleon.

'You want us to feed the people who are going to kill us, you think we're that stupid?' Carnie asks in disbelief

'I don't care if you're stupid or not, you will FOLLOW MY ORDERS!' Kreig yells, everyone gulp in fear

Sanji sighs and pulls himself to his feet, then turns on his heels in the direction of the kitchen 'Whelp back to work' he thinks until he walks into Patty's arm

'And where do you think you're going?' he asks tensely

'To get the food' Sanji answers, the cooks reaction is…. Well to point everything that could even be vaguely considered a weapon at the blond chef, though it wasn't really necessary as Patty just slams him into the ground again

'You may be Don Kreig, but we wouldn't have lasted this long out here without a few surprises to keep pirates like you away' the says as he roots around in a cupboard 'Sanji may have fed you his slop, but I hope you saved room for desert' the chef reveals his weapon, a lobster themed cannon/grenade launcher 'Prepare your stomach for the Meatball of Doom' he says as he pulls the trigger

 _ **KABOOM**_

'I might have broken the door, again. I hope Zeff understands and doesn't yell at me this time' Patty says with a confident smirk, well until…

'That desert was terrible. You don't deserve the name chef' Kreig sneers before he steps out of the smoke, his gold armour on full display 'Now DIE!' he orders/yells, guns popping out of everywhere on his armour, not to mention the 2 in his hands.

It was pandemonium, every chef (well besides Sanji who was still on the ground) was hit at least once as they scrambled for cover, there were just too many bullets in the air not to.

It was the aftermath of this that the captain/ head chef enters, as Zeff exits the kitchen with a large sack of food 'Here you go, take it and leave' he grunts, Krieg staring at him in shock

'You're _**Red Foot**_ Zeff' he gasps

'Who?' Luffy asks, drawing attention to their group

'A pirate captain who was also the ship's cook. His name came from his black leg fighting style of crazy strong kicks, his boots stained red with the blood of his enemies after his fights. That man survived the Grand Line for a year' Gin answers

'And somehow made it back here to this Hell Hole, which I find more impressive' Kaos mutters, then seeing everyone looking at him continues 'Surviving a year just sounds like he didn't make it to year 2. But knowing he spent a year in that sea, got back to the East Blue and set up this place, that's impressive'

Zeff smiles 'True, but I left that life behind quite a few years back. Now I'm just a simple but highly skilled cook'

Kreig chuckles 'After you lost the leg, you mean? Don't make it sound like it was just something that came to you one day, it was because all you can do without those kicks is be a cook. I had heard rumours about you losing your greatest weapon, but to see it for myself is actually quite disappointing. The great Red foot Zeff, defenceless'

'What does it matter, I don't need my legs to cook, only my 2 hands. So what do you want? Zeff asks, knowing there had to be a reason Kreig was so focused on him

The armoured man grins 'You survived the waters of the Grand line and returned intact, I want your logbooks detailing how you did it' he scans the room before continuing 'I'll also be taking this ship, my old one was badly damaged on the journey back'

'No' Zeff replies shocking everyone 'That logbook is more than just a record, it's the symbol of the men and women I sailed those waters with, and as for the ship… I may not be a pirate anymore, but Baratie is my treasure and there is no way I will allow a brute like you to take her from me while I still draw breath!' as the chef shouts down the most dangerous man in the East Blue, everyone in the restaurant can see how he could be a former pirate, especially one strong enough to take on the Grand Line.

'Well then I'll just have to take it, and then I'll return to the Grand Line and conquer it just as I had planned. I had everything I would need: Weapons, ships, men, ambition, all I require is knowledge, and once I get your logs I will build a new fleet, re-enter the Grand Line and become the King of this Great Pirate Era!'

Everyone was silent, until Luffy had to open his rubber mouth 'Hey! You can't do that, I'm the one who will be the Pirate King!' he yells, not at all intimidated by the man in full armour, a wearable armoury or diamond knuckle dusters.

'Don't play games with me boy you don't stand a chance. Our crew of 5,000 men didn't last 7 days, that sea is Hell!' Kreig yells, deciding Luffy was too dumb for anything beyond actually stating the facts to him

There was a collective blink as the information took a moment to be processed

'Don Kreig's fleet'

'Was wiped out'

'In less than a week'

'Oh god what did we sign up for?' Usopp whimpers, his arms wrapped around Kaya's petrified form,

'So as I'm sure you understand, I don't find your attitude amusing. Continue this foolishness and I'll have to crush you on the way to the old man's ledger'

'Just try' Luffy grins as he cocks his arm back

Kreig scoffs 'Having your way then' he growls before his shoulder pads open up to reveal more guns

 _Click_

'Need a hand Captain?' Zoro asks, hand on Wado while Kaos grins with his blade spinning in his hand.

'Thanks guys, but I think I'm good, can you check on Usopp and Kaya, they're not looking too good' Luffy replies with a shrug of his shoulders

Kreig chuckles 'That your crew? Doesn't look like much'

'Hey, that's not all there are still 2 others' Luffy retorts defensively, ignoring Sanji's yell of 'Stop counting me'

Kreig sighs before lifting the food onto his back 'I'll deal with you later, I need to feed my men first' he then leaves,

Gin tried to apologise to Sanji, but both him and surprisingly Zeff waved him off, mostly because the head chef knew he had no control over a man like don Kreig

'So Gin, what can you tell us about the Grand Line?' Luffy asks and Kaos sighs, while Gin turns nearly catatonic for a moment

'That sea makes no sense, it shouldn't be possible but I don't have any explanation, how a fleet of over 50 ships can be annihilated by 1 man!' at this everyone in the restaurant tenses up, not even able to imagine a being that strong 'The moment he appeared he began to sink out ships one by one, nothing we could do was even able to touch him. If we hadn't been knocked into the Calm Belt by the storm not even Don's ship would have survived. I don't know if anyone else survived, I don't even want to think about that place, I just want those memories to go away. Those eyes, like a hawks, cold, piercing and remorseless. Even his gaze alone felt like something was walking on your grave' at this Zoro gasps

'Well then, it appears you boys ran into the man known as 'Hawk-Eye'. The eyes may be legendary but they're not proof, though the fact coupled with the ease in which he destroyed your fleet, means it can only be him' Zeff explains

'Dracule Mihawk'

Luffy looks over to his swordsman 'You know him Zoro?'

'Not personally but yes I know him. Mihawk is the man I've been looking for, the Greatest Swordsman in the entire world.'

'That's a lot of carnage, what did you guys do to piss him off?' Sanji asks

'Nothing, he just attacked us' Gin tries to defend himself

'Maybe you woke him from his nap' Zeff mutters

'Or maybe he got bored and decided to wreck shit' Kaos adds with a wide grin, worrying a few people (such as Usopp) as to what the eldest Straw Hat would do with Mihawk's level of power

'This isn't a joke you damn cook!'

'Calm yourself boy, it's just an example, as well as a lesson in how the Grand Line works. You're right about that place being like Hell, but there are still people living there as easily as here in the East Blue. Expect the unexpected, because absolutely anything can happen in that sea'

Luffy on the other hand was currently shaking, making some think he had finally come to his senses (oh please) until he jumped up in the air cheering 'This is going to be so much fun!'

'Looks like I know where I'm going for a change, the Grand Line' Zoro smiles, but was surprised when he heard the usually cheerful pirate sigh 'What?'

'Zoro, if you do face Mihawk, don't expect him to go all out the first time'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

Kaos raises him hands in surrender 'I mean no offence, but let's put it this way. Mihawk is in his 40's or so and you're what 19?'

'So are you, dumbass' Zoro yells back heatedly

'I didn't say I wasn't, but the point is that to him you're probably just some punk kid with a sword, or 3 in your case. You need to show him you have skill before he'll actually fight you, that and you can't let your anger dull those blades of yours.'

Zoro scoffs 'Fine'

'I wouldn't say anything if I didn't think you had a chance, you'd kick my ass if I were just a swordsman, and it's pretty even right now with my bag of tricks as they say' he grins and Zoro rolls his eyes with chuckles slightly.

'You're a headcase you know that?'

'Yep'

'Hey idiots, can you shut up for long enough we remember what's going on. Don Kreig's flagship is parked outside and he has 100 men or so preparing to take this ship from us. So get in gear!' Patty yells loudly, waving his oversized fork in the air

After what felt like only a few minutes loud yelling was heard, alerting the people inside that Kreig's men were ready and able to fight once more.

'Everyone ready, cause here they come' One of the cooks announce

 _ **Swipe**_

Just as some of Kreig's men leave the ship they were shocked and horrified to see it split into pieces, perfect vertical slashes visible as they fall

'Holy crap, What was that?' Usopp practically screams as they see the carnage from inside

'Don Kreig Sir, the Flagship, it's been cut' one pirate shouts as he falls

'CUT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN CUT? WHAT HAS THE POWER TO CUT A GALLEON OF THIS SIZE SO EASILY?' Don bellows in disbelief.

Zeff sends one of the chefs to raise the anchor so they can move in the wave without being dragged under, while everyone else gets out and sees the carnage first hand. It was then they see something that scares even Zeff

There, sitting in a tiny one person boat, with green flames candle circling him was the legendary, monstrous…

 **Dracule '** _ **Hawk-eye**_ **' Mihawk**

TBC

LW: Well, shit Hawky knows how to make an entrance :D

Also this might be my last OP chapter for 2017, there is a chance you'll get one more but I may just push it back to the following week. I really don't know

There was only one move that needed explaining as what Hawkeye did wasn't a technique, it was just proof of how badass and powerful he is.

Mirror Wall: The material that usually coats Kaos' body is extended outward, forming a shield to deflect projectiles, fairly easily manipulated as seen in the chapter, mostly because while it could deflect the cannonball, a head on collision would have been the same as if he just held out his hands in front of him and prayed.


	9. Hawkeye and the thief in the night

LW: Hi guys, this is cutting it very close for a last chapter of 2017, but I hope it makes it. Helps it's supposed to be a small chapter but who knows when I'm done. Also sorry I'm late, my laptop decided it needed to update itself today/yesterday of all days.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – The story of Ol Hawkeye and the thief in the night

So here he is Dracula Hawkeye Mihawk, greatest Swordsman in the world… but we have a couple of other things to deal with and he's not going anywhere so let's ignore him for a few minutes.

'Big brother Luffy!' Johnny and Yosaku yell from the water

'Guys, what happened? Is Merry okay?' Luffy yelled/asked

'That's the problem'

'Nami stole the ship!' the bounty hunters confessed, when they straw hats looked out they could see their ship, sailing away in the distance. Besides the brothers the others were all in varying shades of anger and shock, most severely was surprisingly Usopp, practically steaming that Nami would steal their ship, Zoro muttering about how they should never have trusted that bunt and Kaya was frozen, not able to understand how Nami could stab them in the back like that. Once some of the shock had passed the bounty hunters were quickly pulled onto Baratie.

'How?' Luffy asks, the duo blush and mutter, making the others assume she used seduction (Kaos thinking she just flashed them her tits and pushed them overboard) before the eldest sighed

'Shall I go after her?' Kaos sighs, twirling his blade in its dagger form, something the newer crew maters were beginning to think was some kind of nervous tic.

'You sure? The ships pretty far' Luffy's worry clashed with his desire to have his navigator returned, Kaos' response was to ruffle his hair

'Silly Monkey, I know my limits and I'll be fine' he grins even if he wasn't as confident inside ' _Okay so maybe I don't know my limits and that ship is moving faster than I would have liked but oh well, better hope Nami didn't slip away to change or the girls just leave their underwear all over the place_ ' he sighs and the spinning penknife slashes open his palm, but he just runs, hops over the railing and dives in.

'Straw Hat!' Zeff yells as he hobbles towards the group

'Hey old guy, it's Luffy by the way'

'Don't care. Why did you let that guy jump?'

'Cause' Luffy answers, getting a kick to the knee 'Ow!'

'Listen kid is he or is he not a Devil Fruit eater?' Zeff asks

'Yep, me and Kaos got our fruits practically the same time' Luffy grins and this time gets kicked in the face

'What does it matter? Let the weirdo go for a swim' Sanji contributes as he lights a fresh smoke

Zeff practically explodes 'It matters because that young man just killed himself! Anyone who eats a Devil Fruit loses their ability to swim' shocking most of the people within earshot

Big bro's dead?' Johnny sniffles

'He's fine' Luffy grins, leaning over the rail

'What are you talking about?' Zeff asks

'Look over there' Luffy points at the mysterious sparkling flakes floating in the water 'That's how I know'

Zeff wasn't convinced 'Explain'

'If it makes a reflection he can make it a mirror, if it's a mirror he can bend it to him will. It's one of his cooler abilities, his mirror gate'

Zeff's eyes widen 'He ate the Mira mira no mi?' he asks, to which Luffy shrugs and scratched his head

'Honestly I haven't got a clue, I wasn't really paying attention back when we first learnt, Hell I only know mine because Shanks told me back when he was trying to get me to cough it back up' he admits, causing Zeff to sigh in annoyance.

' _Idiots, well at least nothing else can go wrong'_ he thinks, the universe showing it's contempt in about 5 seconds

 **Bang! Bang! ping**

'What, I missed, but how? I aimed right for him and it's practically point blank'

'You probably did, he just deflected it with his sword' the straw hats hear Zoro say and turn to see the swordsman was now on Krieg's ship, explaining how the other guy had _missed_ Mihawk.

Zoro steps forward with a smirk 'I've never seen a sword handled with such grace, especially not one that size' he comments, Mihawk simply shrugs

'A sword wielded with force alone is weak' he says evenly, only his eyes moving to focus on the green haired man

'Fight me!' Zoro yells 'My goal is to be the world's greatest swordsman, so I will beat you'

Mihawk tilts his head 'And why should I accept?'

Zoro puts on his bandana 'You said yourself you're just in the East Blue due to boredom, I'm the best swordsman in East Blue, I'm the closest thing you'll find to a good fight around here'

Mihawk's lips curl 'Very well' he reaches for his cross pendant, revealing it to be a small dagger

'Are you kidding me?' Zoro growls but tries to hold in his anger, instead focusing on drawing blood from the greatest swordsman

'You don't kill a fly with a cannon, for that same reason this will be good enough for you' he holds out the knife as Zoro rushes him

Everyone watches in near silence as Zoro's 3 swords flurry is easily parried by Mihawk's tiny blade, the older man not even breaking a sweat while Zoro appears to be losing his cool

' _He's beating me with a toy! There can't be this much of a gap, he can't be this much stronger_ ' he thinks as he takes a half step back to launch his signature attack

 **Oni-Giri**

And everyone sees why Mihawk is the greatest when Zoro's best technique is stopped when he stabs just where the 3 blades meet, stopping them dead.

'Big Bro!'

'This can't be happening'

'Fight for real Zoro!' Johnny and Yosaku yell encouragement while Zoro tries his hardest to fight back

Mihawk sidesteps and Zoro's tries once more just to hit the man, but he continues to miss or more often be parried by the cross knife. Eventually fatigue started to set in and Zoro began to get sloppy in his swings, Mihawk not even really having to try to avoid them. Seeing he was nearing his limits Zoro put all his energy into one final strike.

 **Tiger Trap**

Once more the attack is stopped by Mihawk, but this him he finally counterattacks, thrusting the knife into Zoro's chest

'Why don't you back down? Why do you keep fighting?' Mihawk asks curiously

'I can't really explain it, but I feel I'll lose something important if I take even 1 step back' Zoro replies tensely

Mihawk smiles slightly ' _This boy might just get there someday_ ' he thinks before sheathing his dagger and reaching for his Cross-Sword 'You have managed to sate my boredom like you said swordsman, so you have earned the honour of falling by the strongest sword there is. But before Yoru ends this duel, tell me your name'

Zoro's grin looks practically feral/demonic 'Roronoa Zoro' he answers

Mihawk hums, taking the black blade off his back and pointing it at Zoro 'Now this ends'

 _ **3,000 worlds**_

The 2 clash and pass each other, for a moment things look evenly matched for the 1st time in the entire fight… until both the swords in Zoro's hands shatter, only Wado surviving the encounter

' _I have so far to go, but I've finally seen true greatness Kuina and I will get there'_ Zoro thinks, sheathing Wado before turning to Mihawk who raises an eyebrow at the boy's open stance 'Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame' he answers the unspoken question

Mihawk actually smiles at that 'You are an interesting one, I didn't expect to find someone like you in the weakest Blue. Now if I must' he swings Yoru once more, tearing easily through Zoro's torso and knocking him into the sea (Open wound plus salt water… SHIT!) Hawkeye having a moment of peace before…

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

…he was forced to dodge a rubber missile, it was a simple task for someone like him but it still annoyed him slightly, though was slightly amused by the fact his 'attacker' managed to get his head stuck in the ship wall.

'Your friend will survive' Mihawk says surprising Luffy, but he smiles when Johnny and Yosaku surface with Zoro and give him the same statement. Seeing the green haired teen was conscious (albeit barely) he makes one more announcement 'It is much too early for you to die boy. You are weak but you have potential. Surpass this blade and then surpass me, Dracule Mihawk. That is your goal Roronoa Zoro.' those words put a fire in Zoro's eyes as he lifts his remaining sword

'Luffy! You there?'

'Yep'

'I swear on my honour as a swordsman, until I beat Hawkeye, I will never be defeated again. Will that satisfy you, Pirate King?' he asks tensely, the others (Particularly Kaya and Ginseng) worried he was aggravating his injuries

'Of course Zoro' Luffy replies, flashing a D grin.

Mihawk looks amused by the exchange 'Pirate King? Your dream might be even more difficult than Zoro's' he says

'Yeah well that's my business'

' _Shanks was right, he is an interesting kid_ ' Mihawk smirks before he hops back into his boat, just as boots his the wreck he just left

'Hey Hawkeye, weren't you here to take me out? Kill the ruler of the East Blue Don Kreig?' the armoured man yells

Mihawk shrugs 'I considered it, it was one of the reasons I went this far, but I've had my fun and honestly I can't be bothered to deal with an insect like you. Farewell, I'm going home now'

'You may be done but I'm not' Kreig sneers before revealing his arsenal 'Go ahead and die!' he yells fireing everything he had at Mihawk

' _Morons never learn'_

The resulting explosion tore apart a lot of the galleon's remains, Luffy just about getting back to the Baratie before his section sank. Safe for the moment he turns to his crew

'Johnny, Yosaku, Usopp, go after Nami and Kaos, see where she's heading, we'll catch up later. Kaya, do what you can to patch up Zoro, I'll deal with these dickheads and join you when I'm done' Luffy orders, everyone nods, the blond moving the swordsman onto the restaurant roof (probably the safest place for him), while Usopp got onto the bounty hunter's boat, vowing on his honour as a brave warrior of the sea … and then on his long nose at Luffy's unimpressed look, that they would find Nami and bring her home.

With that out of the way Luffy turns back to the Kreig pirates before yelling 'Don Kreig! I'm going to kick your ass!'

TBC

Yeah this is shorter than usual, but I did plan to just write Nami stealing the ship and Zoro's fight with Mihawk.

So we're getting closer to revealing Kaos' DF, just another arc to go. I actually have the reveal written out, and my writing as reached Loguetown, so don't worry about me stopping in the near future, it's full steam ahead for this series.

Just to clarify, it's not the Mira Mira no mi as Charlotte Brulee owns that, it's something of a similar kind but a separate tier, like Ace/Akainu, or Monet/Alkoji, don't know which is higher but oh well that's years away at the very least. I will admit it was my first choice of name, but then I remembered the wicked witch of Toto Land and was like _'Shit!'_

One last thing, seeing as Kaos mentioned Nami flashing the bounty hunter duo and considering how big she gets I decided to see what size she was at this point. Apparently she's an I cup by Thriller Bark and a J after the 2year time skip, but nothing like that for her East Blue stats, all it has is (34"-22"-34"), and I'm not that stretchy guy in Flash (Gomu Gomu no douchbag) so it means nothing to me.


	10. Battle for Baratie (part 1)

LW: So here we go, invasion of the Kreig pirates, without a Mihawk interruption this time.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Fists, Feet and bullets; Battle for Baratie (part 1)

'Men, get that ship! Once it's ours everything will be perfect, no more having to fake being marines or surrendering, we just float over to them and open fire, every battle won with a sneak attack' Don orders with a laugh

'Yeah, nobody would ever believe such an unintimidating ship could be a dangerous pirate vessel' one of the crew agrees

'But Don, what if when we go back to the Grand Line we run into someone like Mihawk again?' another asks fearfully

 **BANG**

The pirate's body drops from Kreig's shot to the head 'Thanks for the feedback, anything else?' he asks, waving his gun around and getting fearful headshakes from the rest of them 'Good. Do you think an ordinary man could cut up our ship the way Hawkeye did? He must have eaten a Devil Fruit, while rare and almost legendary out here in the Blues, the Devil Fruits are quite common along the Grand Line. He must have used some weird ability to cut the ship to ribbons. Out there these powers aren't anything special, even that rubber dumbass will be seen as normal' he argues, badly [Honestly I kept this in mostly as is to prove Don Krieg… is an idiot. 'Sir what do we do it we run into Mihawk again?' 'Nothing to worry about, there are tons of people just as dangerous as Mihawk, he's nothing special' Fucking idiot] 'But once we have Zeff's logbook we'll know just how to handle those freaks as well as how to find the One Piece. So get moving!' he commands again, the crew finally beginning to move

'Oh no you don't' Patty and Carnie yell as they jump into the…?... but fumble around on the controls as neither really knew what they were doing.

Sanji sighs around his smoke 'This ship is about to become a battlefield. Hey you' he points to one of the chefs 'Go inside and open up the fins'

'What but then Kreig's pirates will be able to swarm us'

'But it will also allow us to fight them outside the restaurant, and keeping them out is the most important thing' Sanji argues, and the chef follows through after an approving nod from Zeff.

Luckily the chefs had a little more prep time than they expected as Luffy chuckles to himself 'Here I come'

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

 **Gum Gum Giant Scythe**

Springing off the restaurant he slams straight into/through the wave of Kreig's men, tossing them into the sea as he grabs a hold of a still intact mast

'What kind of freak is he?

' _Damn, and the Grand Line is full of people like him?_ ' Sanji thinks

'So, just to be sure we're clear, you're attacking this boat which just gave you food? I'm kicking your ass purely on principle in that case' Luffy says from his higher vantage, while Kaya sighs hidden away.

'So you really want to fight me out here on the water, where even a slight misstep will kill you when you fall into the water? It seems the fruit of yours took your brain along with your ability to swim'

Luffy shakes his head 'No just the swimming, but in exchange I'm stretchy' he grins widely, just as the Baratie fins open out.

Sanji steps onto the fins with his usual swagger 'Now we have somewhere to stand we cooks will proudly defend this ship with our very lives' he states, getting into a ready position, the other cooks following him.

'Nice of you to bring out all this extra decking, means I won't damage my new ship while I kill you all. Because it will be my ship and I will kill all of you, it's just a matter of how quickly you die' Kreig sneers

'Not likely'

'We're battlecooks!'

With a hiss the fish head on the end of the Baratie separates from the ship, revealing it to be part of a smaller vessel, currently being piloted by Patty and Carnie

'Mackerel Head One, the Baratie's secret weapon. Run away now or things won't be so pretty for you guys' Patty yells before the 2 cooks start firing on the Krieg pirates, to the loud cheering of their companions, until they tried to fight Kreig directly, the cannon fire basically bounced off him and he lifted the fish boat over his head and tossed it aside, the only reason it didn't crash through the Baratie itself was Sanji's lightning fast reflexes and an extremely strong kick.

With their heavy support wrecked it was easier for the Krieg pirates to get onto the decking and bring the fight to the cooks, who while they were good cooks and at really put their all into the fight… were simply out matched by what was left of Don's crew.

'You may think you're good fighters but we're the legendary Krieg pirates, the best in the East Blue and one day the best in the world' one of the pirates sneers at the beaten cooks

Kreig chuckles 'Let it be known this stupidly designed boat is already the property of the Pirate Admiral Don Krieg' he announces

Sanji chuckles 'Yeah that's never going to happen, this restaurant still belongs to the old geezer and you'll have to pry it from our cold dead hands before that changes'

The blond's firm stance as well as the 2 oldest chef's return to the fighting gave the cooks a needed boost to moral as they pulled themselves off their asses to hold back Krieg's men, and they were doing okay until…

Ping, Ping

Something managed to one shot Carnie and Patty, knocking them both to the ground, the cause being the weirdo who just swam to the fin

'I am the invincible Pearl, in all my time as the Don's no.3 I've never shed a drop of blood in battle, as is the strength of my armour' a large man in pearl centred shield armour boasted, laughing arrogantly

 **Bang** - _cling_ **Bang**

Kaya double tapped with her twin pistols, one glanced off the shield on his arm, but the 2nd embedded itself in his shoulder, the man shakily bringing his hand to the would and then his face

'B-b-b-blood? Ahhhhh!' Pearl screams, then begins banging his shields together frantically

'Pearl calm down, you're wreck my ship!' Don Krieg orders, the cooks confused until the drumming man erupted into blue/white flames

'Oh crap he's on fire' Luffy yells, having bounced back to the Baratie to avoid the flail Kreig had pulled from his endless arsenal

'Did I make things worse?' Kaya asks sadly

'Of course not Kaya-Swan, you put that Pearl in his place' Sanji swoons 'Now I need to take this freak show down' he says more seriously

 **Fire Pearls**

Zeff's expression barely changes to just swings his peg leg like Luffy using whip, the blast of air extinguishing the flaming pearls, causing them to fall harmlessly to the ground

'But, my unbeatable Pearls'

'Don't send your kid stuff to me, I'm not as much of an invalid as you think I am you know?' Zeff mutters

'Hey moron!' Pearl turns 'This is for trying to kill the old geezer' Sanji yells as his foot connects with Pearl's unprotected face, (Seriously, why didn't he have something to protect his face? And why to nobody think of hitting him in the face?) knocking him into the water 'Well that's one idiot down'

'Sanji' the blond turns 'Just give up, I don't want to hurt you or the old man but I will if I have to' Gin says tiredly, his gun pressed to Zeff's head and his boot on the old man's spine.

 _ **Click**_

In a move that surprised both of them (Sanji didn't even know any of the cooks carried) Gin had 5 pistols pointed at his head, not counting the 2 Kaya had pulled from her bandolier Kaos lend her till they could find her some multi-shot firearms.

'You even try hurt Zeff you'll be painfully reminded humans are deathly allergic to lead' Carne may not have a gun on him, but that didn't make his statement any less true

'Gin!' Krieg yelled 'Take out the old geezer!'

'Shut up!' the armoured man was surprised anyone would talk back to him, but it seemed to be happening a lot today, Sanji then turned back to Gin 'Gin, do the smart thing and point that gun over here, I'm not letting you take this ship from the shitty geezer, if you bastards want it or him so badly, you're going through me first'

Gin grimaces as he puts his gun away 'I really don't want to do this' he sighs, slowly pulling out his cannonball tonfas 'But the captain wants this ship so he's going to get it, and if that means going through you then so be it'

'Great, you'll be fine Sanji, I'm going to handle the weirdo with the funny shaped head' Luffy grins, appearing to have already forgotten his opponent's name

'You brat'

'Show some respect for Don Krieg'

'Admiral of the greatest pirates in the East Blue'

Luffy shrugs 'Nah, don't want to'

Gin's cold stare met Sanji's heated one as he began to spin one of his tonfas till it was nearly all a blur, at which point he charged at the cook, Sanji trying to land kicks but failing, though luckily managing to avoid the slam of the cannonball that would have most likely crushed his hand, there was a noticeable sway back and forth, neither really getting any clean hits on the other until Gin managed to surprise him and slam the bar into his throat just before pinning him to the deck with it.

'I told you this would happen, but you just wouldn't listen, you fought back anyway. So now we reach the end of the line' he says quietly, spinning his free tonfa in preparation, bringing it down right until Sanji spits his cigarette in his face, distracting Gin enough he was able to free himself and give the Krieg commander a swift kick to the back of the head, causing him to headbutt the deck, the problem for Sanji was Gin was tougher than he looked, meaning he was able to swing his tonfa into the cook's ribcage before falling over, bringing the both of them down almost simultaneously.

'Shit, that guy managed to kick Gin in the head'

'Think he's still alive?'

An answer was deemed pointless when Gin pulled himself back up, followed more slowly by Sanji

' _Well that's at least a rib, maybe 2'_ he thinks to himself 'That the best you got Gin, if so I don't know why they think your so scary'

Gin apparently didn't find Sanji's humour amusing if the 2 more rapid strikes to his chest were anything to go on, the cook now fairly sure most of his ribs were fucked at this point

'Goodbye Sanji' Gin says as he prepares a final blow, setting the cook off

'Hey, what was that?' he yells as he manages to barely dodge, before planting his foot in Gin's face 'Was that pity? I'm not dead yet yah dick' he pulls himself to his feet, but stumbles ' _Yep, that's probably all of them_ ' he thinks as he falls.

His worsening injuries were how Gin was able to pin him by the throat, while the why was most likely because even if he was in better shape than Sanji at this point, Gin would rather not be kicked in the head again. There was a collective intake of breath as the 2 remained frozen there Sanji not even struggling in Gin's iron grip, though Krieg's wide grin said exactly what he was expecting.

Tears were unexpected, but low and behold there they were, the cold hearted demon Gin was crying 'I can't. I can't follow this order. This man saved my life, I can't end his. I'm sorry Don Krieg, but I can't kill Sanji. I won't!' he yells, shocking everyone and most likely adding more fuel to Krieg's anger

'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' Krieg screams back

'I'm only here because this man showed me kindness when he didn't need to, because he showed me compassion. I've followed you from the start Don, been your loyal commander but now I have a problem, I would never be able to live with myself if I killed this man, but I can't defy my captain, please Don, let me disobey' he sniffles 'We could just go, leave the restaurant and…'

'DID YOU JUST TRY TO GIVE ME AN ORDER?' Krieg yells over him 'After all this time you decide to turn traitor on me, because of feelings like compassion, disgusting. It appears I'm going t have to deal with these maggots the hard way' he grunts as he rips one of his shoulder guards off and grips it like a shield 'Men, get out of the way' he orders and the 'mouth' of his roger on the shield opens up, all the krieg pirates knowing exactly what their captain was about to unleash

Gin pales 'No, not the gas!'

'He's going to use the MH5!' one of the pirates in the water yells

'We're all gonna die!' yells another, as the rest scramble for their masks

Kreig chuckles to himself 'All the matters in a fight is who wins, how I get there means nothing to me' he smirks arrogantly then sneers when he sees Gin reach for his jacket 'Don't you dare put on that mask Gin, your treasonous acts deserve the death sentence, so you can join these cooks in the MH5 and be done with!'

Luffy scowls 'I'm not going to let you do this' he yells, running at the man

You don't have a choice' Kreig replies, revealing that like everything else in his armour it comes with guns, in this case the entire outer rim functions as a machine gun, the pointed tips not exactly something Luffy wants to test his rubber bullet resistance against. As he retreats

' _Crap that could have been bad'_ he thinks then sees Gin staring at his mask 'What are you waiting for, put it on! You don't have to listen to that dickhead, especially once I'm done kicking him ass' Luffy yells at the pirate before getting ready for a 2nd attempt

'No! My captain can't be defeated; he's the strongest man alive. If this is my punishment then so be it' he sighs in resignation and drops the mask (Hey Gin, there's this guy called Edward Newgate who'd like a word with you… He also goes by the name Whitebeard, Strongest Man Alive, and could break Krieg in half in 5 seconds)

'At least you know how to die with some honour intact Gin, but you're still all dying today. MH5, poison gas attack, Fire' The shield cannon fires releasing the poison bomb as the golden pirate grins, cooks flailing for the water, Krieg pirates watching from behind their masks and Patty&Carnie hurrily dragging Zeff into the restaurant where they were at least slightly safer than out in the open.

Things were finally looking up for the Kreig pirates, until rubber hands wrapped around 2 of their heads and yanked their masks off 'Hey guys catch' Luffy yells as he throws them at Gin and Sanji 'Okay now to get one for…. Shit where's everyone gone' he panics when he sees the others had dived, half to get away from the rubber boy but also to get out of the bombs blast radius _'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!'_

 **BANG**

TBC

LW: Well if I'm given a cliff-hanger I might as well take advantage of it.

Sorry it's so short guys, turns out this arc bores the fuck out of me, I think it's that besides being a heavily armoured dickhead, Krieg is really uninteresting. Hopefully this will be over soon. Until next time .


	11. Battle for Baratie (part 2)

LW: Well here we go, time to kick Kreig's ass

Rubber Kings and Mirror Master – Battle for Baratie (part 2)

 **BANG**

' _Finally that rubber brained idiot is gone, now I can simply take the ship for myself and re-enter the Grand Line_ ' Kreig thinks to himself as he grins widely.

'Luffy' Kaya squeaks fearfully, her and Zoro were luckily safe above the gas cloud which hung like fog on the lower levels

'He'll be fine' Zoro mumbles before coughing violently 'The Captain's too stubborn to die, too stupid for his body to know poison is bad either' he jokes weakly, Kaya rolling her eyes but thankful for the attempt anyway.

'Hey asshole!' was heard just before a fist shot through the fading gas and slammed into his face, causing him to stumble as he quickly righted himself 'I'm not dying today' Luffy yells from behind his gas mask ' _Lucky that mask just appeared when it did or I'd be in pretty bad shape_ ' he almost smiles until he hears a commotion behind him

'Gin, let go you asshole, the gas is gone you can get off me' Sanji struggles to get the former commander off of him but he was still weak due to his injures, though upon further inspection Gin was the worse off of them both: blood dripping from his nose and gums, eyes bloodshot and barely open, his breath was ragged and came out in barely a whistle

'Gin! This mask was yours' Luffy gasps, shocked at the man's self sacrificial act, and pissed off when Krieg started to laugh and berate him

'Patty get Ginseng, he has to do something!' Sanji yells at the Popeye like chef who mumbles excuses but runs off to find the ship's doctor

'Put the mask on him, it'll help detoxify his lungs and might give him a little more time for the doc to work on him' Zeff orders, Sanji nods as the straw haired man with a handlebar moustache exits the ship and with Patty's assistance brings Gin up to the roof with Kaya and Zoro, the girl quickly getting to work helping however she can.

Luffy's jaw clenches 'Now I'm mad Krieg, you won't like what's coming for you' he practically growls, none of the fun loving idiot any other others had seen up until now was visible in this kid.

'Idiot, attacking head on is a mistake he's strongest that way' Sanji argues to Luffy ignores him

'So am I' he whispers then takes off running 'Hit me with your best shot!'

'Anger makes you sloppy kid, you're running in one direction… to your death' Kreig sneers as he tosses bombs into Luffy's path, causing a smoke cloud and a pillar of water which he then proceeds to empty an entire round of bullets from his gattling shield into

'Well he's dead'

'Never stood a chance'

'Kid no!'

The water fell and Kreig grimaced when he sees Luffy still charging

 **GUM GUM…**

'Just try it kid' Krieg yells, wrapping himself up in a spiked cloak…

 **PISTOL**

… which Luffy practically ignores as he continues his attack, slamming his fist into the cloak and Krieg's face, this time knocking him to the ground.

'He floored the Don'

'In one hit'

'What kind of monster is this guy?'

'So you think this will kill me? Little spikes?' Luffy's voice was both angry and also slightly condescending, not wavering even as he rips the spikes out of his flesh and tossed them across the deck 'It'll take a lot more than that to take me down, I'm the future King, so small fry like this won't work on me' his smile was humourless as he tore the last spike out of his leg, just above his knee

'Well he's completely insane' Sanji says with a sigh, not seeing Zeff nod in agreement

' _True, but so was his predecessor._ I've seen a few men like him in my day, stubborn as the Red Line, would rather die and walk away from a fight. Glad he's on our side though, as that stubbornness makes them Hell to fight and even harder to kill' the old chef replies, hoping it wouldn't come to that, Luffy may be a pain in the ass kind of a moron and definitely crazy, but he was growing on the former pirate cook.

Eventually Krieg manages to pull himself to his feet, his face stuck in permanent scowl 'So you're not dying today huh kid? That's too bad, because one of us is going down today. And while I'm here, I might as well pay my respects' he yells, slamming his shield into Luffy before blasting him 'Go to Hell!'

Luffy bounces away from the blast, catching Krieg's shoulder pad with his foot and pulling him back 'You first' he orders, knocking the pirate admiral onto his back.

'How is this possible?'

'This kid is kicking the Don's ass'

'What are we dealing with?'

'Did Mihawk kill us and we're trapped in Hell or something?'

Luffy just grins widely, despite everything he was kind of enjoying the fight.

Zoro and Kaya smile as they watch the fight 'See girlie, nothing to worry about' the swordsman smirks, getting a light smack to the shoulder from the blond

'Shut up, you thought he was a goner too' she retorts, chewing her lip in worry. Luffy was winning that much was true, but he hadn't won yet.

'EVERYONE SHUT UP! NEVER DOUBT DON KRIEG!' Krieg yells as he pulls out another weapon from his arsenal, this time combining 2 of his shoulder pad shields and producing some kind of spear (Don't ask me what's going on, I'm just describing what I see, it looks like his shoulder pads he pulled the MH5 from, but now it's a spear. Plus he had one pad in the previous scene but once the spear came out, no pad) which he swung at Luffy, missing but causing a huge explosion.

' _The fuck was that?'_

'The mighty Battle Spear' one Kreig pirate gasps 'finally he's stopped playing with the brat and fighting for real'

'Playing hide and seek are we? Well time to finish things, this is my mighty battle spear, and unlike previous weapons when I hit you with this you won't just get cut up or wounded, you'll be blown straight to Hell' he yells that last part as he slams it into the deck again 'Big enough for you your majesty?' He taunts smugly

' _Fuck, fuck, fuck, not the water'_ Luffy chants as he manages to grab another section of wreckage before he could fall in and sink to the bottom 'An exploding spear, this is going to suck _Too bad Kaos isn't around, I'd love his powers right about now_ ' he moves to stand but fails 'Shit, this isn't good'

'He's lost too much blood' Sanji guesses 'This fight better end soon or he's done for'

Kreig, seeing an opportunity hops onto Luffy's piece, then begins trying to skewer the boy, luckily adrenaline enabled him to get back into action and dodge all the pirate's swings

'His true power is his strength, the battle spear is so deadly in his hands because nobody else can swing a spear so easily that weights over a ton' (Ah hem, once again and I know he wasn't introduced yet, but **WHITEBEARD**! I have no idea how much his bisento weights but it sure aint lightweight)

The swinging and dodging continues until Luffy nearly falls off, jumping into the air to avoid slipping into the water 'Die bastard' Krief yells as he swings once more where Luffy can't simply slip out of the way, luckily Luffy was able to find a safe place… the shaft of the spear itself

'Wow… I didn't think that was going to work' he admits to himself, and because he thought out loud everyone heard

Krieg was really pissed at this point, flailing his spear until finally he managed to shake Luffy off, the tries to plunge the tip into the boy while he's in the air (you know, like a spear is supposed to be used, he's been using it as some kind of axe or exploding hammer up to this point if I'm being perfectly honest)

Luffy catches the blade between his fists… it doesn't stop the explosion but it does seem to localise it, the blackened rubber pirate flopping to the ground

'Ow' Luffy groans slightly as he pulls himself to his feet

'This is on you kid, if you hadn't pissed me off so badly I might have shown mercy and killed you quickly, but no, you had to be a pain in my ass so now you're going to suffer' he laughs as he makes another swing, Luffy trying to fight back… and getting tossed back again. This repeats itself several times: Don swings at Luffy, our boy hits the ground a smoking lump, he stands back up and the process restarts, each time Luffy was smiling like an escaped mental patient while Kreig was getting even madder if that were possible.

'You bastard, why won't you die!' he practically screams as he puts his all into another swing, shocked beyond belief when Luffy kicks it aside, sure it still exploded but when the dust settled the spear's tip shattered like glass 'What? How? My battle spear, what have you done!'

'I just punched it in the head 5 times' Luffy answers with a smirk 'Maybe it's time to let it rest. It's my turn to fight now'

'Damn this kid might actually win' one of the cooks says with a smile

'He broke the mighty battle spear'

'Does Krieg even have anything bigger?'

'I think we're nearly done here' Luffy thinks aloud 'Now I broke your spear at least'

'Hm, you think?'

'Yeah, without the tip all you've got is a bomb on a stick, which while odd isn't really a problem for me' he replies with a grin

'Oh really?' Kreig clenches his teeth

'Yep'

'Well I think this bomb on a stick is still good enough to send you to kingdom come in little pieces'

Luffy shrugs 'Well you can try, it's not going to work but come on, knock yourself out'

'You mock me kid, YOU'VE SIGNED YOUR OWN DEATH WARRANT!' Krieg yells as he charges at the boy, slamming down where he was but Luffy had already pulled himself up onto the mast above him 'You monkey!' Kreig sneers as he swings at the support

'Actually yes, yes I am' Luffy says with a grin taking the moment he was in the air to charge up an attack on the way down

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

The barrage of punches all connect with Kreig's golden armour, but the man seems unimpressed even laughing when Luffy finally lands 'Was that supposed to impress me kid? This is wootz steel armour, practically indestructible'

Luffy flashes a grin 'Practically' he then charges straight for the golden bastard in a move that for anyone else would be both stupid and suicidal

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

The clash sounded like a bell as both fighters stood stock still in silence, until one sound shocked everyone

 _crack_

The so called invincible armour shattered like glass as Luffy bounced away, Kreig's large frame falling like a sack of bricks without the rubber pirate to hold him up

'Opps, I think I broke it, guess it's not so unbreakable after all' Luffy comments with his face in a thinking position (a rare sight given Luffy's fighting style and general, straightforward outlook on things), the cooks cheer while the Kreig pirates gap in horror at their leader defeated

'He, he actually won' Gin gasps

'Of course he did, he's the captain' Zoro smiles before devolving into a coughing fit, Kaya and Ginseng getting him to lie down again.

'Good work brat' Zeff grunts, a tiny smile flickers across his face as Luffy walks over to them, the boy's straw hat held in the cooks hands.

'Thanks old guy' Luffy flashes him a 'D' grin as he puts back on his signature hat

'NO! I AM THE GREATEST I CAN'T BE BEATEN I AM UNSTOPABLE!' everyone turns to the frantic yelling as Krieg stand up, his body moving but it was clear the lights were on but nobody was home. The empty shell of anger a pride stomped in the direction of the ship, constantly yelling about his greatness and his strength

'Ah crap' Luffy groans as he turns, nearly stumbling until Patty grabs the back of his shirt

'He's not even conscious'

'Don Kreig never give up'

The body of Kreig fnally reaches Baratie once more, but doesn't make another step before taking one more impact to the face 'I've had it with your arrogance young man, take a long nap'

'Boots stained red'

'With the blood of his enemies'

' _Red Foot_ Zeff still lives'

Sanji, surprised by the declaration actually looks down and would you believe it: Zeff was standing there, his peg leg and his boot covering in blood from shattering Kreig's jaw and busting his nose just a few seconds ago 'I may be old, but I'm not infirm… yet' he says before turning to re-enter the restaurant as though nothing happened.

With Kreig finally down for the count Gin retook command rather easily, basically he just yelled ' _ **Men, we're leaving**_ ' and they followed suit, anything to get away from the rubber boy and ' _Red Foot_ '.

 _Later_

'Alright everyone, soups on!' Patty yells at his usual ear-splitting volume and everyone came to the table, even Luffy Kaya and Zoro, the latter still under the watchful eyes of both doctors. The problem was they ran out of chairs so Sanji found himself sitting between the rubber food black hole and the sheepish doctor, not that he minded the second of those options. Well that was the first problem, then…

'Hey who prepared the soup?' Patty asks

'Oh that was me, it's pretty good isn't it' Sanji announces happily, even Luffy could see the joy he gets from cooking as well as actually being acknowledged for it

'You're kidding right, this slop should've been tossed overboard, I might never get the taste out of my mouth' the Popeye cook spits in Sanji's direction, the blond clenches his fists and grits his teeth

'There's nothing wrong with my soup, it's perfectly prepared as always' Sanji manages to get out in a semi calm tone, just before Carnie spits his mouthful of soup out

'Jeez Sanji, are you trying to kill us with this crap?'

After him came a full house of complaints about the food, all the while the Straw hats continued to eat and wonder what the Hell these guys were talking about, sure they had higher standards than Luffy, but that doesn't mean Sanji's food was bad.

The final straw came from Zeff, who actually finished his bowl… and promptly tossed it on the floor

'That soup tasted worse than bathwater, we'd be out of business in days if we searved that crap'

'You lying bastard!' Sanji yells grabbing Zeff by his collars 'What makes my soup any worse that the stuff you serve every day?'

Zeff sneers 'You think we're the same?' he then surprises Sanji by backhanding him, knocking him to the floor 'You're at least a century behind me in terms of skill. Don't flatter yourself' he then waves his hand in the direction of their pirate guests.

Kaya gently sipped the soup, her nose crinkles but she continues

'See' Zeff grunts 'Even the girl can't stand eating your swill' Sanji bites through his cigarette as he storms out

Luffy blinks 'This stuff is really good, what's wrong Kaya?'

The blond sighs 'It's delicious, but I've been eating simple and plain food for so long, I don't know how much of this lovely rich food I can handle'

Zoro, under orders from Kaya and Ginseng to take it easy, nods in agreement with the rubber boy 'If this is crap, I'll gladly eat crap from now on'

Luffy grins widely before turning to Zeff 'Hey chef guy, why'd you lie to Sanji about his food?'

Zeff sighs as he sits at the table 'That boy's the 2nd best cook on this boat, and seeing as the girl's the only one who won't burn water…'

'Hey!' Zoro yells angrily, while Luffy chuckles remembering Kaya and Kaos chasing him off after that incident (Don't ask, just chalk it up to the enigma that is Monkey D. Luffy)

'… I can set aside my pride long enough to say he has the potential to surpass me one day'

'Oh I get it, except why if he's so good you tell him his food is shit?'

'To get him to leave of course' Zeff answers 'The kid thinks he owes me so much that he can't go live his life. If you take the brat with you I'll be very grateful'

'Nope' Luffy says seriously

'WHAT?' Everyone yells

'I won't accept you throwing Sanji at me; he needs to want to go for me to bring him'

'Then it's a good thing I'm going to go' the blond announces from the doorway, Luffy's eyes shining

'Really?'

'Yeah you rubber bastard' he answers, rolling his eyes at the boy 'And you…' he turns to Zeff 'Was it really, really that hard to say my food was good? I mean I should've known these morons were lying with all that bad acting they were doing, but still'

Zeff hits him with his peg leg 'Don't get cocky eggplant, I said you had potential, you're still a shitty cook'

Before Sanji could retort there was a commotion outside, which turned out to be Yosaku and a fish

Big bro Luffy! We found her, we found where Big Sis Nami and Big Bro Kaos are' he yelled half excited, half fearful

'Really, where are they?'

Yosaku gulped 'Arlong Park'

TBC

LW: Well here we go, the Shark bastard is coming, or I suppose Luffy is coming for shark bastard's head.

Ginseng isn't a real character, I just made him up because every ship needs a doctor, Zeff should know this. So tada now he has one :D. He can thank me the next time he's in the story (not next chapter, though he is in the next chapter)

Yes when Zeff refers to Luffy's predecessor he means Roger, as he was there when Luffy declared his dream of being the Pirate King.


	12. Operation Rescue Nami

LW: Here we are a more filler /expositional chapter but they can't all have shit happening.

Rubber King and Mirror master – Operation Rescue Nami

'Bye guys, thanks for all the meat' Luffy yells as he hops onto Sanji's boat, Zoro already sleeping on deck, which Kaya rolls her eyes to. They were sitting for a few minutes before Sanji casually strolls out of the restaurant, sidestepping Patty and Carne trying to attack him and dropping his things on deck

'Well time to go' he mumbles, sucking in a lung full of smoke

'You don't need to say goodbye or anything?' Luffy asks with a confused look on his face

'Nah I'm good'

'Sanji' he freezes 'Take care of yourself' Zeff says a small smile on his face. Tears leak down Sanji's cheeks as he tries to hold it together, his head finally putting together he was leaving a place he'd called home for so many years, possibly never to see it again.

'Thanks Chef Zeff' Sanji says as he practically prostrates himself before the restaurant, tears streaming down his face 'You taught me everything I know that's worth knowing, I can never repay you for that' he stands and looks up at the man, still as stone 'I don't know why I expected anything' he sighs and steps onto the boat 'Bye pops'

 _ **Drip drip drip drip drip dirp**_

'Sanji you shitty eggplant!' the blond turns and is shocked to see the old man cry 'Men part without tears or fanfare, but look at me now. You will always be an annoying brat… and the son I never thought I'd ever want. Find the All Blue and even if you don't you'll do me proud' the former pirate sniffles 'now get out of my sight before I have to kick you all out myself!'

'You got it old guy' Luffy cheers, grabbing Sanji and pulling him onto the boat, then setting off following Yosaku's directions.

 _The Going Merry_

Nami sighs 'Those guys were idiots, but they were nice. I hope I see them again some day'

'Knowing Luffy I can guarantee it'll be sooner than later' Nami freezes as Kaos steps out on deck 'Hey Nami'

'How'd you get on this ship?' she asks, readying her bow staff

'Through the mirror in your room, by the way you probably shouldn't leave your underwear just hanging off of it like that, well I assume that was yours, Kaya doesn't have enough weight on her bones yet to have a bust that size but if I'm wrong you can move it from your bed to hers' the Merry's former 1st mate grinning the entire time, well until he sees Nami's bare arms 'Ah that explains it'

Nami tries to hide it with her hand as she tensely asks 'What are you talking about?'

' _ **I will never be a pirate, those people sicken me. The only thing I hate more than pirates are marines**_ ' he quotes, Nami surprised Luffy told him about that 'The only thing I'm unsure of is whether the hate is directed inward at yourself, or outward towards your master' his smile is gone, which despite her anger worries her.

 _Port, a little while later_

'Nami' a goldfish fishman greets her as he and a nurse shark fishman board the Merry 'What you doing here with such a nice ship?'

Nami laughs slightly 'from my last mark, idiots got off the ship and didn't realise I wasn't with them till I was already too far to stop me'

The goldfish taps the side 'Good quality wood, either fetch a good price or be great for spare par _… K…gurgle_ ' he didn't finish the sentence, mostly due to the hand impaled through both his and his companion's lung

'Merry's not for sale' Kaos hissed, physically tearing out his left lung while simply sliding his hand out of the other

'What the Hell was that for?' Nami yells at the man she now regrets not trying to shove overboard

'No witnesses. We toss them overboard and not only does nobody know about Merry, but if we move the ship a little nobody would even suspect they died on this ship' the purple haired pirate explains

 _ **Crack**_

Kaos barely shifts, only moving his hand to the back of his head to check for blood 'You do know when this is over I'm paying you back for all this crap in full?' he hisses almost tiredly

 _ **Crack**_

The only straw hat on deck turns his head with a smirk 'Is that it? I don't know why Arlong keeps you around; a flirty virgin who can't fight and clearly doesn't think her actions through, or more importantly the consequences of said actions. Are your maps really that good Tanjerin-baka?'

 _ **Crack Thud**_

Whether it was the strike to the face, the fact it was the 3rd blow to the head in about as many minutes or that Nami's rage translated into power the ginger navigator finally brought him down

 _Back on Sanji's boat_

'You people are too chipper, are you fucking insane? Don't you know every second edges us closer to the infamous Arlong and near certain death?' Yosaku yells at a cheerfully bouncing Luffy and lightly sleeping Zoro, Sanji and Kaya just watching passively.

'That's nice, when's lunch?' Luffy asks as he stretches, clicking his back along the way.

'I'll go get it started' Sanji replies as he stands up

'Oh come on! None of you know who Arlong is?' Yosaku asks, getting shrugs from everyone 'Jeez. Here it is: Arlong is a fishman who used to destroy everything in his path back on the Grand Line…'

'What's a fishman?' Kaya asks quietly, but not quiet enough

'You guys don't know what fishmen are?' Yosaku asks

'Are they like this?' Luffy asks, holding up a drawing of a fish with arms and legs, getting chuckles from Zoro and Sanji while Kaya giggles behind her hand

'You idiots have the attention span of 4 year olds! Okay let's start at the top; The Grand line is known as the pirate graveyard because of Arlong and the other 2 powers, following so far?'

'Yeah I suppose' Luffy answers with a shrug

'Now listen, ever heard of the 7 Warlords of the Sea, or the Shichibukai?' asked Yosaku seriously as he does 7 shadows appear to represent them: 2 were monstrously huge, one of which was a fairly blobby shape while the other a solidly built male, another was tall and lanky, one was a rather round shape, the sole female identifiable by… well having breasts at least the size of her head, (at least Hancock's easy to identify) and finally there was a man about Kaos' height with a hook like weapon and Mihawk, identifiable by his signature hat.

'I think Kaos mentioned them when he was talking to Kuro' Kaya volunteered, the other 2 nod and Sanji shrugs

'The 7 Warlords are pirates who operate with authority from the World Government'

Sanji raises a curly brow 'Seriously? What pirate would want that?'

'They do it for protection: the government looks away for a cut of their treasure, and allow them to do as they please as long as they follow direct orders from the WG, such as taking out other pirates. Sure to some pirates they're WG lapdogs, but they wouldn't have been chosen / selected unless they had the strength to back up the Government's stamp of approval. Now you've already met one of them, Dracule _Hawkeye_ Mihawk'

Luffy was bouncing around like a child on a sugar high 'These guys sound so cool, I can't wait to meet all 7 of them!' he cheers

'There's one named Jinbei, a whale shark fishman, he's the captain of the Fishman pirates and a real menace, easily causing as much destruction as Arlong'

'Is this him?' Luffy asks showing off another picture

'That's the same picture, just the guy's standing up' Zoro complains, to which Luffy maturely sticks his tongue out in response

'Since coming to the East Blue, Arlong has taken control of over 20 towns, his power is so monstrously huge he makes everyone you'd faced look like children, even Don Krieg'

'Why would Nami go after a guy like that?' Kaya asks

'I told you, for his 20 million beri bounty, that's probably the highest of anyone in the East Blue' Yosaku answers

'Oh wouldn't it be great if Nami was a mermaid?' Sanji swoons as he daydreams

'She'd look like this' Luffy declares, revealing a picture of his previous fishman with Nami's haircut

'Tear that up you bastard!' Sanji orders through gritted teeth

 _Arlong Park_

When Kaos finally came to he found someone had bound his arms and ankles, sitting up he sees the fishmen (and Nami) all around him, in his own case facing a shark fishman, sitting like a king in front of a yellow building, the words 'Arlong Park' legible even from this distance/angle.

Kaos groans as he tries to find a comfortable position, looking at the grinning shark 'You Arlong?' he asks

'Yes. I am Arlong, ruler of these islands. What brings you to my domain?'

'Just retrieving our navigator for the Captain, ship kind of got away from us' he smirks

'Chew, you really expect us to believe that human?' another fishman scoffs and oddly enough Kaos' eyes sparkle

'See Nami, if they let in someone who ate the Duck Duck fruit you should be just fine' he grins even as Chew goes from blue to red

'Human!' he yells, but Arlong's cackle stops him

'You're a strange human and I almost respect that, plus there's the matter of your debt. Those fishmen you killed were luckily the weakest of my crew but you still need to pay for what you did. You will work off that debt working with my navigator, being the brawn to her brains. After all a brute like you could be about as strong as a teen fishman' he cackles

'Can you give the speciest superiority dogma a rest for a few minutes or something?' Nami sighs as she steps into view 'Some of us have to actually exist as a human.

'Of course Nami, but would it kill you to lighten up even a little? You know I don't include you, your skills are so much more superior to the rest of your species I couldn't do anything but make you my navigator'

'Hey Nami, these thugs didn't damage the Merry did they?' Kaos asks, confusing Arlong

'How do you know my navigator?'

'Better question: How do you know OUR navigator? He replies

'Nami, care to explain this' Arlong asks, waving his hands in Kaos' oddly relaxed direction

'Don't worry boss, he's just another sucker who thought he'd be the exception to the countless other pirates I've picked clean of valuables. The fact he followed me here is as sad as it is impressive don't you think, like a puppy, or whatever you fishmen have as an equivilent' Nami answers, some of the fishemen in the area chuckling at her description

Kaos' lip curls 'I told Luffy we should have left you on the island'

Nami laughs 'Yeah, Miss Nami, you're services will not be required or some crap. But the captain still wanted me, so you were stuck'

'You're fresh out of luck human. Nami's cold blooded as any fishman, even sold out her own family for money' Nami freezes as Arlong says that, laughing as usual afterwards

Kaos frowns; he didn't like this Nami, not one bit. Nami was supposed to be greedy, treasure obsessed and kind of a bunt, sarcastic and quick to anger, usually due to Luffy or Usopp being idiots, Zoro's laziness or his intentional attempts to piss her off. This Nami was an ice sculpture with a hole in her heart you could herd a sea king through if you were so inclined… or were somehow able to.

'Well if you're in the business of selling humans how much for the red head? I know purity increases the value but overall personality should even it all out' he jokes, getting the intended reaction when Nami punches his head into the ground.

'He's cocky I'll give him that'

'Especially for a human, chew'

'I'm not for sale asshole!' Nami yells with pointed teeth

'While I usually don't like being spoken for she has a point, Nami is part of my crew, and therefore she's not for sale'

'It was worth a shot, oh and Nami thought you should get this message in person; Luffy is coming, not even I could stop him if I wanted to. Might want to start counting the days' his smirk nearly reaches his ears, pointed teeth interlocking in a cracked mirror of the fishman in front of him

The fishmen looked confused and the purplette noticed their navigator pale just a bit.

'Whelp I'd better go then' before Nami can react she receives a kick to the face before Kaos catapults himself into the pool leading out to sea. To the surprise of most of the fishmen once she righted herself Nami dove in after him, disappearing for longer than they thought a human could last under before finally surfacing

'Nami, what the hell was that about?' Arlong demands an answer

'Even if he could have freed his arms the bastard was a Devil Fruit user so he as screwed either way. Only reason I jumped in was because he had some kind of weird shape shifting sword, must've been worth a lot. Shame he sank like a stone. If you want it I'm sure one of you superior fishmen can retrieve it later'

Arlong tenses ' _How? How could some worthless human like that find the Hebi…_ ' he doesn't even finish the thought; the human was a trickster nothing more and on the off chance it was true he'd send one of his men to salvage it and give him the ultimate weapon, it's _**curse**_ would kill inferior humans but a fishman should have not trouble taming it's power.

 _Between scenes_

Surfacing not far from Arlong Park Nami wastes no time hitting Kaos again in the face 'Dumb ass! What did you do that for?'

'I knew you wouldn't let me die Nami, you're kind of a bitch but you're not the stone hearted monster you and long nose claim to be'

Nami's quiet for a minute before speaking again 'Why are you here? Why come for me when you admit you think you should have left me in Orange Town?

Kaos sighs 'I still do, you're causing us a lot of trouble ginger quim. But regardless of that, just like Luffy I believe in the idea of crew being family, nakama. We don't have to get along all the time and can even act like we hate everyone or a certain someone else on board… but you're there when it counts, because you know we will be as well. Like I said back there, Luffy's coming and with him your freedom from that bastard Arlong' he smirks until Nami punches him in the shoulder

'Idiot. Arlong's a fishman, no human can…' Kaos slaps her across the face

'Don't underestimate Luffy, or me. Get your coat, pack your bags and be ready to go, because we're not leaving this island without you'

'Idiots the lot of them' Nami mutters but does nothing further

'You should go' Kaos says, pointing to Arlong Park 'Humans can't last this long underwater' he smirks then watches her leave before standing up 'Now where the fuck are the other humans on this island?' he thinks aloud, heading in the opposite direction to Arlong Park.

TBC

LW: Well there it was, more for everyone :D

Also as much as enjoyed Zoro and Nami's little squabble in Arlong Park, he's on the boat with Luffy so I had to make do with Kaos. I think he had fun.

Also is it weird at this point in time that Arlong was considered on par with any of the WarLords, even more so Jinbei? Ha!


	13. Operation Rescue Nami (part 2)

LW: Well I got no cool title ideas so for now we continue the previous name. Enjoy

Rubber king and Mirror master – Operation Rescue Nami (part 2)

 _Sanji's boat_

'Grubs up!' Sanji calls, bringing out a tray of food for the crew

'Yay! Meat' Luffy cheers, Kaya giggling at his enthusiasm as he digs in, despite Sanji's attempts to slow him down, Zoro smirks tiredly while Yosaku still sits tensely

The relative calm is broken by a loud rumble, followed by ripples and a shadow under the surface, indicating something large was approaching

'Sea King!' Yosaku yells, everyone tensing or reaching for a weapon until it surfaces…

'More like a Sea Cow' Sanji deadpans and he was right, the creature did have a head resembling a cow, even down to the ring in its nose

 _Meanwhile_

'Mooshoo!' An octopus fishman calls, waving a cooked pig around 'Where is he? He's never late for dinner' he scratches his head and keeps yelling

 _Back with the Straw Hats_

'I think he's hungry' Kaya suggests, seeing it gaze longingly at the plate

 **BAM**

'Hands off it's ours!' Luffy yells, giving the Sea Cow a lump on its head

'That was rude Luffy, relax there's plenty of food to go around' Sanji scolds, before offering some to the sea cow, when…

 **BAM**

'Sanji!' Kaya yells

'Bastard nearly bit my hand off' he grumbles as the animal whimpers with 2 lumps on its head

'Hey, this thing could help us get to Nami and the others' Luffy grins as he stretches out and grabs the sea cow by it's horns, holding him steady while the others attach the ropes 'Onward Adventure!' he yells, the fearfully beaten Sea Cow towing the strange humans into land

 _A little while later, at the island_

' _Why is there never anyone around when you're looking for directions?_ ' Kaos thinks before freezing 'Luffy' he grins but then has to jump out of the way to avoid getting run over by the boat they were on 'Holy crap! _Sigh_ , only you Monkey' he chuckles, running over to the wreckage of a ship they'd just broke.

'Kaos! We found you. Did you see Usopp or Johnny?' Luffy yells as him and the others get out of the boat

'Sorry Luffy but I haven't even found town yet, never mind whoever else you sent after Nami'

Luffy pouts, then grins 'Oh, well I guess we'll just have to look for them together.'

Kaos nods and sighs 'Let's hope they haven't gotten into any trouble, these fishmen seem the kind to kill first ask questions later' he grumbles as Kaya dusts herself off and Yosaku helps Zoro to his feet. The group had just gotten ready to move when they had another interruption in the form of their missing bounty hunter

'Johhny, but where's Usopp?' Zoro thinks aloud, the others having similar thoughts

'Usopp's dead' Johnny yells 'Nami killed him!'

Kaya freezes and turns a sickly grey colour 'Usopp's dead?'

'He's gone, he's dead, I saw the whole thing. Nami just straight up murdered him'

 _ **SLAM**_ 'ow' _**THUD**_

'Why'd you do that?' Zoro and Yosaku yell after Johnny falls to the ground from being kicked in the face by Kaos

'I'm curious too, I mean I was about to do the same for bad mouthing Nami but you' Sanji wonders

'Because Nami didn't kill him'

Zoro scoffs 'Don't tell me she's got you bewitched too, don't even see how someone as small as her would appeal to you'

The purplette rolls his eyes 'That's not what I meant dumbass. Nami won't kill, she also can't just let someone die nearby, as I know personally' he explains, getting confused looks

'So you nearly drowned and I pulled you out, that make me a saint or something?'

'Nami!' Everyone yells, Luffy and Kaos having to stop Kaya from shooting the ginger thief

'If by nearly drowned you mean kicked you in the face and made a daring aquatic escape and by pulled out you mean dived in after me and dragged me out of Arlong Park then yes' Kaos answers, sidestepping a kick from Sanji but gets punched in the head by Luffy 'Ow'

'You could have died' Luffy states

'I trusted our navigator, is that wrong?'

'Of course not, shishishi' Luffy laughs

'Fucking idiots. Just get out of here before you cause any more damage'

Luffy frowns 'We're not leaving till we get you back and we're all on the deck of the Merry heading for the GrandLine, something we need our navigator for'

Nami groans and resists pinching her nose 'Listen here you morons, I'm Arlong's navigator, I'm not leaving with you so get out of here before what happened to Usopp happens to you too!'

Before either could respond Kaya had stolen back on of her guns and pointed it at Nami's head 'So it's true then, that it was you who killed Usopp?' she asks, her voice steel even if her hands still shook

Nami smiles mirthlessly 'Yep, thanks to me that little coward is sleeping with the fishes' her smirk and confidence vanishes though when Kaos' grip on her wrists steady Kaya's aim

'Why are you so willing to die for something you didn't do? What did that long nosed fuckface do to you?' he asks, surprisingly sympathetically

'Leave, I don't care how strong you think you are but these are fishmen a handful of kind of strong humans don't stand a chance'

Luffy smiles slightly while Kaos grins 'Here that little monkey, we might get a real workout while we're here.' The captain nods energetically

' _I don't know why I'm even trying with these headcases._ Arlong will tear you apart, so turn around and leave, never return' she says emotionlessly

Kaos sighs 'You know what, you're not even part of the crew anymore so I don't have to take this I'm going for a walk' he says causing Nami to blink

'What! You're just going to take a walk?'

'Bye, see you later, try not to kill anyone else' Luffy waves

'No promises'

Nami turns red 'Hey! Don't ignore me!' she swings her bo staff… but Kaos caught the end and with barely a moment shoved it back, the other end slamming into the navigator's gut. He then continued to walk off as if nothing happened

'So, still not coming?' Luffy asks, Nami grits her teeth as she holds in her anger

'Get it through that rubber head of yours, I'm not going anywhere! The whole reason I joined was to make money and it was always going to end with me stealing everything that wasn't nailed down. Now you're of no use to me, so take your ship, get out of my site, find a navigator dumb enough to join your little band of misfits and then go on your insane journey along the Grand Line' she practically hisses

Luffy response, surprisingly was to keel over backwards lying on the ground looking up at the clouds.

' _The fuck?_ ' was the collective thoughts of everyone present

'I'm not going to get involved with what's happening on the island, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving without my navigator. Seems taking a nap is the best option' he explains, before pushing his hat over his eyes to keep out the sun

'FINE YOU WANT TO DIE SO BADLY BE MY GUEST!' Nami screams before running off, leaving a pissed off Kaya and Zoro along with a confused Johnny, Yosaku and Sanji.

 _A little while later_

'…honestly I always thought she was a small time crook who couldn't watch someone die never mind kill them, but then again she has spent the last few weeks around Luffy so maybe she just snapped' Zoro says, meditating beside Luffy's sleeping and Kaya's cloud gazing forms.

Sanji nods 'Yeah….wait a minute!' he yells jumping forward into a kick

'NAMI'S NOT SMALL!'

'Is that all you heard Eros?'

 **SLAM!**

'Usopp!'

'You're alive!' Kaya and Luffy yell as the long nosed teen falls to the ground

'Well he was' Zoro deadpans, poking him with the toe of his boot and as glad as everyone else when he twitched and groaned

Usopp, you can't possibly know how happy I am you're alive' Kaya whimpers as she holds the weak sniper close, Sanji privately steaming that the long nosed liar got to be held by _sweet Kaya_.

'Not that I'm not happy to see you but we heard you were dead, what happened?' Zoro asks, Luffy nodding in agreement

'Nami tricked those fishmen, she stabbed her hand and then hit me with it so it looked like I was bleeding. I swam away the second I was out of sight' Usopp explains, Kaya turning a sickly grey once more

'I tried to kill her and she hadn't even done anything wrong?' she asks rhetorically, Usopp pulling her into an embrace before she could collapse

'Hey, hey Kaya it's fine, you didn't know she didn't actually kill me and you didn't kill her so everything's fine' he says comfortingly

'Only because Luffy and Kaos stopped me' she sniffles

'Well now that's all been cleared up, let's go kick some extra scaly ass' Sanji's announcement was met with agreement from the rest of the crew

'Oh no you don't!' everyone turns back up the road where a woman with light blue hair and tattoos is looking at them angrily (Hm, wonder if Belle-mère gave lessons?)

TBC

LW: Yeah this was a short one, the episodes and my notes gave me a cliffy moment and I was a little busy this fortnight so I took the easy way out. Hopefully there will just be one more of these before your regularly scheduled OP beat downs (One of the things One Piece is famous for, mostly because boobs are normal sized till the middle of the Grand Line) as well as normal length chapters for anyone who has problems with the current size.

Also I skipped Ussop's adventure because it was the same as in canon.


	14. Operation Rescue Nami (part 3)

LW: Well here we go, last chapter before Luffy and the gang start kicking people's ass and we get a very special reveal.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Operation Rescue Nami (part 3)

'Attacking Arlong park is suicide. That fishman can't be defeated' the bluenette continues

'Nojiko!' Usopp gasps

'Do you know her Usopp?' Kaya asks in confusion

'She's Nami's sister' was his answer, and Sanji reacted accordingly

'Nami's sister, no wonder she's such a specimen of divine beauty' he swoons

'Don't get involved in this issue, it won't end well for you. I think it's best I explain the situation'

Kaya looks worrued 'Situation? You mean why Nami joined Arlong, you can tell us?'

Nojiko nods 'Sure, and if that doesn't send you running I don't know what will

'Sorry I'll pass, maybe Kaos was right and a walk will do me good' Luffy mutters as he stands

'Luffy, you don't want to know Nami's backstory?' Usopp asks, surprised when his captain shrugs

'Hey Nojiko, will listening to you tell me this story change my plans in any way?' her response was silence 'That's what I thought, I don't care about Nami's past or how she got here, I can't do anything about it, what I do care about is Nami now and how I'm going to kick Arlong's ass for everything he's done to her' with that he walks away

' _Weird kid'_ Nojiko thinks ' _Stubborn too_ '

'Don't worry about it; it's just the way the Captain is. You can tell us but I guarantee it won't change our resolve or make us run like you want us to' Zoro says before sitting against a tree.

With Luffy gone Nojiko begins her tale: telling them about Bele-mere, the former marine who found them in a war zone and took them under her wing, who was stubborn as karioseki and flirty just for the fact it unnerved people, mostly Genzo. About how her family was poor but got by (for the most part)… until the fishmen arrived. Usopp already knew about the tribute money but Nojiko went on to explain that there hadn't been enough money for their little family, so Bele-mere sacrificed herself, using the money to pay to keep the 2 of them alive, though not before giving her best shot against Arlong, not that it did anything. How Arlong took Nami as part of his crew and the deal Nami made to buy the village from him for 100,000,000 beri. When she finished her story Kaya and Usopp were crying, Sanji was so angry he was practically steaming and while it didn't show on his face, Zoro's knuckles were white on Wado's hilt, in the bushes nearby Yosaku and Johnny cried silently.

'They're not going to care' Zoro says after Nojiko once more tells them to stay out of Nami's business 'Luffy's claimed her as his navigator and I think Kaos has managed to find a way to banter with the witch, not that either would admit it. You can say anything you want to us, the captain has the final say and he's already decided to retrieve her' despite his anger he smiles, knowing if one thing is for certain, it's that Luffy will _**NEVER**_ give up on a crewmate, and Kaos will gladly tear through as many of those fishmen as he can along the way (and Zoro doesn't even know about the 2 he's already killed since getting here O_O)

 _Nami & Nojiko's grove/orchard/thing _(the anime isn't sure what it is either so how the Hell should I know?)

'Are you the one known as the pirate thief Nami?' Marine Captain Nezumi asks with a slimy tone that made Nami feel unclean 'We have reason to believe you've hidden quite a sizable amount of plunder in this tangerine grove' he smiles as Nami pales and Genzo's jaw drops 'Now you've stolen from pirates so we have no reason nor intention of arresting you, but theft is still a crime. So we'll be taking all your ill gotten gains on behalf of the World Government, give it to us right now!' he orders.

Nami smirks 'Nice to see where you're priorities are, won't deal with a gang of ruthless pirates, but will bring a platoon to steal from a girl just trying to get by' she turns to them, showing her tattoo 'With that in mind I really doubt you want to mess with the Arlong pirates, which is exactly what will happen if you continue with this course of action'

'Chichichi, you really think I'm that stupid girilie, men find the money now!' he yells and the marines follow suit, heading for the tangerines

Nami grits her teeth and reach for her staff 'Hold it right there!' she yells, a tic forming when they just walk past 'I said STOP!' this time punctuated with her bo staff being slammed into their face 'Is this really what you should be doing right now? Arlong has over 20 islands in a strangle hold, and you ignore it all just to rob me' she growls at Nezumi, who just smiles

'Sir this orchard looks kind of suspicious, what do we do?' one of the marines call over

'Dig it up, the whole place if you have to' the rat faced man answers dismissively… as Nami looses her shit

'STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM BELE-MERE'S TANGERINES!' she screams as she rushes over, attacking any marine unlucky enough to find himself in her path 'I WON'T LET YOU RUIN THIS PLACE, I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MY MONEY EITHER, THAT MONEY IS FOR… is for…'

'That money is the only chance this village has at a future' Genzo yells angrily 'You come here and have the gall to try take it away from us when you won't even raise a finger to fix the problem. Belle-mere is the only good marine to ever set foot in Cocoyashi'

Nami gasps 'Genzo, you knew?'

The man sighs, his age showing in his face 'I've always know. I couldn't believe you'd join Arlong's crew of your own free will, not after what he did to your mother. I managed to get the answers out of Nojiko, was easier than I thought, girl didn't want to keep something like this a secret it was just too big. Everyone in the village knows, about how you're part of Arlong's crew to save us from his scaly clutches. But we swore we'd never say anything, we didn't want you to know we were placing our hopes on your shoulders, it wasn't right to burden you like that'

Nami just stares 'Genzo, that can't be true' she barely mutters

'So you mean to tell me this whole village is a den of thieves, and that I should take them all in to cut this blight from the island?' rat face asks with a smug smirk

'He's saying the village is doing what it must to survive, especially when it has no other option as we can't trust you government morons to tell us when it's raining never mind deal with the pirates like your supposed to' the marine turns to the source of the answer, seeing Nojiko walk into the tangerine field, every muscle tense 'So if you're not here to help us deal with the problem, get the fuck off our property before I kick you out. And you might want to sail away before Arlong notices you and sinks your ship like the last 12'

'Arlong will, chichichi' Nezumi chuckles

A weight settles in Nami's stomach as she hopes the thought running through her mind was just paranoia

'Seriously how hard is it to find? It's 100,000,000 beri not a lost ball!' Nezumi yells, his words striking a cord with both Nami and Genzo

'How'd you know how much was there?' he asks to which the marine just smirks

'I don't, just making a guess chichichi' he replies and Nami's blood runs cold

' _He sold me out, Arlong betrayed me'_ she thought angrily, even though the grip on her bo staff loosened

'He sent you didn't he? That fishman bastard Arlong?' Genzo asks in a grave tone, causing Nezumi to gasp in offence

'I would never do a pirates dirty work' he smirks 'I'm just a public servent dealing with crimes as is expected of me'

'The marines have sunk pretty low if you're the errand boy to a pirate' Nojiko hisses

Before anything else can happen a voice calls from deep in the orchard 'Sir we found it'

Nezumi's mousy face is nearly split by his grin as he kneels by Nami's hoard 'My my I'm impressed you actually managed to obtain this much treasure. _And 30% of this is all mine'_

'Don't touch that. Don't Touch That. DON'T TOUCH THAT. **DON'T TOUCH THAT!** ' Nami repeats over and over as she runs at the corrupt marine, Nojiko and Genzo trying to stop her before things can get worse (if that's even possible)

'This is what you get for interfering' Mouseface shouts, pulling out his gun and firing

 **Prism**

 **Bang** _Splat_

They all stood frozen in shock as the marine to the right of mouseface's head exploded due to the redirected bullet, Kaos stands to his full height, sidesteps Nojiko who Genzo pulls beside him and back to the village, and slowly walks up to the still fidgeting marine, a chrome coloured coating beginning to coat his right leg. Meanwhile Nami has already left, wanting to hear it straight from the shark's mouth.

'This is Nami's money and her family's tangerines. Get out!' he growls, a shining kick sending the idiot far enough he wouldn't be a problem for a while and his sub…grunts were all either dead, unconscious (due to Nami, Kaos and even a couple by Nojiko's hand) or scared too badly to cause trouble, meaning Nami's money was safe for the moment.

It was the main square before Nojiko was thinking coherently enough she could slap Genzo's had away 'Damn it Genzo I'm fine, nothing even happened!' she practically screams at the man

'I know but you were nearly shot and I wasn't going to give that rat bastard another chance at a cheap shot' Genzo replied tensely

'Then why not grab Nami?'

He laughs humourlessly 'Because unlike you Nami had a weapon, plus she managed to inherit ALL of Belle-mere's stubbornness. It took both of us just to hold her in place and even that was a stretch, there was no way I was getting you both down here on my own'

'Genzo, what's going on?' one of the villagers

'The marines, they're working with Arlong, they were here to take Nami's money. He never planned to let her have the village, just stringing her along so she'll work for him' Genzo explains, the villagers gasp and swear

'That bastard!'

'Hurting our Nami like that'

'Quiet!' Nojiko yells 'The time for standing around and letting someone else deal with our problem is over. We need to end this today'

'She's right. We've lay on our backs for too long, it's time to take up arms and fight for our freedom!' Genzo joins in, together they were rallying the village into a frenzy

'Hey' the crowd turned and saw Nami in front of them, panting heavily as if she'd run a marathon, tears still staining her cheeks 'Everything will be fine, this is just a slight set back. I'll just have to steal another 100 million, I've done it once already so it should be much easier this time around, quicker too' she smiled widely, but even Luffy would see it was tight and forced

 **SLAM**

' _Ow, is this how it feels for the guys? Guess Nojiko got Bele-mere's smackdowns_ ' Nami clutches her head in pain from the strike, before Nojiko and Genzo pull her into an embrace

'You've done enough idiot, now it's up to us' she whispers

'I'm sorry you've had to bear the weight of our future on your back Nami. That ends right now, we're going to do what should have been done 8 years ago' Genzo adds, and Nami's eyes start to water

Nami watches frozen as the entire village rushes of to fight Arlong, off to their deaths. It's this moment when pain anguish and rage finally reach their boiling point inside the navigator, pulling her knife from her belt.

'ARLONG! Arlong! Arlong!' she yells each time she stabs the dagger into her tattoo, uncaring as to the damage she did to what lay underneath as long as his brand was mutilated beyond recognition. It was on her 4th swing that someone stopped her, removing the blade from her shock numbed fingers while another bandaged her arm, even if it wasn't done well. Opening her eyes her tear filled eyes she gasps 'Luffy? Kaos?'

'Hey Nami' the purplette greets as he tightens the bandage, what unnerved her was the blankness on their faces, they looked nothing almost nothing like the jovial idiots/dumbasses she'd known until now

'Luffy' his eyes meet hers, from under his hat 'Help me' she sniffles pathetically (in her mind at least)

Luffy's smile returns for a second, even if it was much smaller than usual 'That's all I was looking for' he says before Nami feels a weight on her head and he walks off

Bringing her hand up she freezes as her suspicions were confirmed ' _Luffy's straw hat, but he values this thing almost more than his own life, he's beaten people to a pulp for simply touching it_ ' she wonders why he left it with her as the brothers grab their team

'Everyone ready?' Luffy asks as he walks up to Zoro, Sanji, Usopp and Kaya

'As I'll ever be'

'Glad we finally get to the fighting'

'Time to make sushi out of these fishman bastards'

'Good. Kaya, try help Nami with her injury, the rest of us are going to go kick Arlong's ass. Nobody makes our navigator cry and gets away with it'

The mob, consisting of the entirety of Cocoyashi village lead by Genzo and Nojiko made it all the way to the gates of Arlong Park before being stopped by unlikely sources: Johnny and Yosaku. Looking severely worse for wear, both were sitting in front of the entrance, their swords crossed in an X between them

'Let us through!' one of the villagers yell

'No way, you wouldn't stand a chance' Yosaku replies

'We already tried; we heard what Arlong did to Big Sis Nami and wanted to make him pay. We al… we got the absolute shit beat out of us for trying. You may have the numbers but Arlong could beat you all single-handedly' Johnny adds

'Then why are you here? Trying to scare people off?' Nojiko asks

'No we're waiting'

'There are probably a handful of people in the entire East Blue who can stand up to fishmen and lucky for you these guys are on the island for the same reason as we are. And here they come now'

The villagers part by the sheer prescience of these 5 people, none more so than the Little and Large of the group [Until Chopper joins Luffy was the youngest of the Straw Hats and he's shorter than Usopp, by about an inch or so. Already mentioned Kaos is 8ft and 19, same age as Zoro and Sanji]

'So how do you want to deal with this?' Luffy asks, referring to the door

'We should probably knock, right Sanji?' Kaos asks with a smirk

'It's only polite; we're not savages after all' the chef replies around his cigarette

The 2 nod before kicking the door, sending it flying across Arlong Park, even wrecking the wall on the other side and knocking out a couple of fishmen in it's path

'Hey! Which one of you is Arlong?' Luffy yells from the now totalled entranceway, the fishman in question surprised but also curious

'That would be me!' He announces from his throne wondering what laughable actions this weak looking human was going to do

He did not expect a punch strong enough to both hurt him and knock him off his chair

'That's for making our navigator cry!'

'Who are you? _And more importantly what are you? No human should be able to punch that hard'_ he thinks as he stands up

'Monkey D. Luffy, the guy who's going to be kicking your ass this morning'

TBC

LW: Do the guys know how to make an entrance or what? They also know how to destroy one too. (Poor attempt at humour is poor)

Also did anyone, while watching the flashback wish Bele-mere had just shot Arlong in the face instead of talked to him? I sure do. Don't know how much damage it would have done but better than nothing.

When Nami mentions Luffy beating the crap out of people for so much as touching his hat, she's referring to Orange Town when they 1st met. I didn't mention it because it wasn't important; it was basically Luffy oneshots 3 nobodies and moving swiftly on.

New powers/techniques

 **Prism** : By activating his powers in 2 separate, unconnected parts of his body, usually the palms of his hands, it can bridge the gap and form something akin to a gateway, moving objects from one patch to the other. What this means in the case of this chapter is the bullet hit one patch and was shot out of the other. This technique is basically me running with my brain asking; If they can dodge things with Haki later, why not be able to move _into_ the line of fire? Also seeing as I mentioned it like a second ago, yes it's a bit of a luck based ability at the moment as to whether he can get it to work or not, but as the series progresses (and like everyone else he learns at least some haki) he'll get better on those occasions in which this skill is actually used. Probably won't be using it too often.


	15. Arlong's Generals: Ray, Octopus and Lips

LW: Well here we go, fight!

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Arlong's generals: Ray, Octopus and Lips

 _ **Previously on RK & MM**_

' _Hey! Which one of you is Arlong?' Luffy yells from the now totalled entranceway, the fishman in question surprised but also curious_

' _That would be me!' He announces from his throne wondering what laughable actions this weak looking human was going to do_

 _He did not expect a punch strong enough to both hurt him and knock him off his chair_

' _That's for making our navigator cry!'_

' _Who are you? And more importantly what are you? No human should be able to punch that hard' he thinks as he stands up_

' _Monkey D. Luffy, the guy who's going to be kicking your ass this morning'_

 **And now onto the next chapter**

 _ **Luffy is coming, not even I could stop him if I wanted to. Might want to start counting the days**_

'Luffy huh, I hears about you from one of your crew, weakling offed himself soon after though, Hahahaha!' Arlong taunts until his eyes met familiar green

'Yo, motherfucker' Kaos greets with a taunting smirk and a wave

'How can he be alive? Chew'

'I told you Nami had betrayed us, no human can last that long underwater' Kuroobi, the ray fishman grumbles

'That's what I said but you know Nami and her rants, they don't come in an abridged form' Kaos replies with a shrug, a ghost of a smile pass his lips as the charging fishmen get knocked back by a flurry of blades and kicks

'Damn idiot, you had to shoot from the hip and punch the big one didn't you?' Sanji grumbles

'I'm fine, these idiots are no trouble' Luffy replies

'I'm not worried about you, I'm worried you and creepy here are going to hog all the action'

Kaos chuckles 'Don't worry Eros, there's plenty of 'action', I'm sure you'll fine something to hit'

'Well you guys can have all the action you want' Usopp says from behind, getting shoved past by Zoro

'Nice to see nothing's changed since the last fight you were in Usopp' he mutters, breathing more shallow than usual

The shark was beginning to twitch just behind his right eye, which Kuroobi caught before stepping forward

'Relax Arlong, don't waste your energy on these humans' the ray says passively

'We'll deal with them easily, Chew' another scoffs

'Exactly' the octopus agrees, hopping to the front 'Hello, I'm Hatchan, my friends call me Hachi, but you can call me Hatchan' he breathes in deeply, blowing up like a balloon, before he turns to the sea and releases it, producing a loud trumpeting sound

'Okay I know he's a bad guy in this but is anyone else impressed by that?' Kaos asks, Luffy and Usopp nod, Sanji and Zoro barely resist facepalming, unlike Nojiko

There is a loud rumble and Hatchan grins widely 'Now quake in fear at the mighty Mohmoo!' he yells as, rising from the water… is the sea cow from earlier, the bumps on its head still visible

'Huh, so that's why he's here' Luffy thinks aloud

'Arlong must have brought him as a deterrent or scare mongering' Sanji guesses

The seacow gets one look at the pirates and fear runs down its body, quickly turning around and swimming in the other direction

'Wait, come back Mohmoo, you can't just leave!' Hatchan yells, flailing his arms around like a crazy person

'Leaving so soon?' Mohmoo freezes at Arlong's voice 'Well if you want to run and hide who am I to stop you?' the seacow may not be able to see Arlong's smirk but the human could and were worried 'Well?'

Mohmoo turns and gives a feral roar, charging straight for the straw hats, who ready their weapons… well except Usopp who was understandably panicking

 _ **Crack, Crack**_

Luffy slams his feet into the ground, spins his torso around several times and grabs onto Mohmoo's horns 'Guys I got this'

'Oh crap'

'Luffy don't you dare'

'Moron!'

'Time for something new!'

 **Gum Gum Pinwheel**

Luffy relaxes his body, causing the tension to be released, the rubber boy spinning around so his body could return to normal. What made this an attack as opposed to rubber man yoga was that he was still holding onto Mohmoo's horns, the sea cow being taken for a ride while Luffy uncoils, taking down/out any fishman that were in it's way. It was just before he ran out of spin Luffy let go, sending Mohmoo flying out of Arlong Park and leaving only 4 fishmen still standing: Arlong, Chew, Hatchan and Kuroobi.

'Okay Arlong I didn't come here to beat the crap out of these dumbasses I came here to kick your ass, so get up off it and fight me!' Luffy yells, the shark actually smirking at the rubber balls on this kid to call him out. HIM, Sawtooth Arlong!

Luffy's recent attack was an entirely friendly fire capable technique as his own crew angrily pointed out, the one in the most danger (really just due to his size) actually the one who was scared and injured the least, Kaos having seen the beginning of Luffy's crazy idea immediately fell to the floor, out of the path of destruction Luffy caused, so was content to laugh at the mayhem and collateral damage his little brother and Mohmoo had left in their wake. There was just one problem even he was going to be annoyed by…

'Um guys, I'm stuck'

'LUFFY!'

'How dare you hurt our brothers' Hatchan yells, drawing attention away from the rubber brained idiot and back to the tentacle armed idiot as well as the other fishmen

'Looks like we're going to have to show you the error of your ways' Kuroobi sneers

'As well as the inferiority of your species' Chew adds as he steps up

Arlong chuckles 'Good luck boys, have fun squashing these bugs' he says, somehow managing to use the rubble he was sitting in like a throne.

 **Zero Vision : Hachi Ink jet**

The others jump out of the way but Luffy's pinned legs meant he took the full brunt of the octopus fishman's attack, now blinded and flailing around he couldn't stop Hatchan from picking up some of the wreckage of Arlong Park and slamming it down on him… or at least trying to. Just before it hit the ground the stone shattered, the smoke clearing to reveal Sanji had kicked it, a look of mild annoyance on his face

'Looks like I picked one hell of an idiot for a captain' he sighs, getting nods from the rest of the crew while Luffy gushes about how awesome the chef's last attack was 'Though at least this idiot is better than thugs who pick on a lady'

'A lady?' Kuroobi scoffs 'You're here risking your lives over one lousy girl?'

'Technically we're risking our lives to get back our navigator, the fact she's a girl is unimportant' Kaos butts in, already beginning to spin his blade in dagger form, while Sanji's frown grows

'Say one more bad thing about Nami and I promise you you'll go from fishman to fish sticks before you even blink' he declares, waving his cigarette in his direction

The ray waves him off 'You might be a skilled human but that's all you are, and a chivalrous pirate seems quite phoney to me'

Sanji takes another drag 'I'm good at what I do, be it cooking or kicking ass, and there's nothing phoney about helping a beautiful lady, it's just how I was raised'

Kuroobi cracks his knuckles 'Guess I'll have to show you your place then, kneeling before your betters'

Meanwhile, as this was going on Usopp was trying to free their idiot captain from his self induced captivity… with poor results.

'Nope, still here' Luffy says in a _'discussing the weather'_ tone, even as Usopp struggled and pulled

'This will only end poorly' Kaos says, the sniper stops reversing in order to look up at the purplette's grinning mug

'What do you mean?' he asks

'If nothing's happening on Luffy's end then you're not pulling him free, you're stretching him out' Usopp pales as he realises what the older pirate meant… unfortunately his shock caused him to slightly loosen his grip, just enough that Luffy freed himself the first time he wiggled, flying head first into Chew, head butting the huge lipped fishman with the force of a **Gum Gum Bell** and knocking him on his ass, before springing back to his previous position

The fishman glared at Usopp with several tic marks on his head 'I see now, you really want me to kill you' he growls, starting to walk towards the coward… who promptly ran off at full tilt

Arlong growls as he pulls himself to his feet 'This is taking too long'

Kuroobi looks fearful for just a moment 'But sir if you go on a rampage…'

'I won't do that, I've just come up with a fun game' he grins, his shark teeth adding to the intimidating/creepy factor

'We don't have time for games' Luffy yells as he throws a rubber punch, barely missing Arlong who grabs his wrist

'Did you humans really think you could defeat us?' he asks

'Actually yeah' Kaos admits, Sanji, Zoro and Luffy nodding in agreement, which actually surprised the fishmen

Rather than respond verbally Arlong slams his fist into the ground… and lifts the section holding Luffy above his head, to the rubber boy's very loud disapproval

'Did you know eating a Devil Fruit means you can't swim, but considering your circumstances rubber boy, I don't think it matters' Arlong laughs as the rest of the Straw Hats tense

 **Gum gum Pistol**

Ordinarily a point blank punch to the face would do something… a lot actually, but all it got was a mouthful of razor sharp teeth digging into Luffy's skin, he actually had more luck when HE bit Arlong, as it actually seemed to hurt the bastard if his yell was any indication. It ended the same though, with the sharkman tossing Luffy out of Arlong Park, watching literally sink like a stone.

'Luffy!'

'Ah shit, how long can he hold his breath?'

Kaos sighs 'It wouldn't matter how long, water drains all devil fruit user's strength, even if he could hold it for hours his body wouldn't have the strength/energy to do so and he'll let it all out pretty quickly'

'Then we need to go get him' Zoro says tightening his grip on Wado

'Yeah but we've still got these guys to deal with and given that they are we can't let them follow us into the water and we're sunk' Sanji agrues until he's flicked in the forehead 'Hey!'

'Better plan, you jump in and save the idiot, Zoro and I will deal with these idiots. There are 3 of us so let's go with it'

'Dumbass, there are 3 of them too!' Sanji fires back

'Yeah but Arlong's not going to fight us directly unless he has to, so it's really 2 on 2 while you get Luffy'

Sanji sighs but kicks off his shoes 'You better be right about this'

Zoro grins 'He is, needle nose has that final boss feel to him'

'Clocks ticking boys' Arlong cackles as he sits once more, letting his underlings deal with the humans

 _ **Kaos Vs Kuroobi**_

'Get cocky like that around a fishman and you won't last long' Kuroobi yells, Kaos hopping out of the way to avoid his fins

'Hm, so those things are more than just decoration' Kaos chuckles 'Good to know' but then frowns when he see's Zoro falter 'Damn it moss head' he mumbles

'Oy stop getting distracted! I am a level 40 in fishman karate, a weak human is no match for my punches' he boasts, aiming a full force punch for the centre of Kaos' chest but the human catches it

 **Hundred Brick Fist**

 **Crunch** _drip, drip, drip_

'Hahaha! See this is what I mean; only a human would be dumb enough to try block an attack from a fishman rather than dodge. Sure you managed to survive but you've completely fucked up your hand so you won't be doing that more than once more' Arlong cackles, but stops when Kaos starts laughing 'What's so funny?'

Kaos grins wickedly even as he surveys his injury, despite the armour the spiderweb cracks still welled with blood 'As Luffy and I used to say to Aunt Dadan when we came home with 14 bells kicked out of us… Should have seen the other guy' his grin widens when the focus shifts and several people gasp

Kuroobi was silently clutching his wrist as he stared at the end, which now more closely resembled patty meat than a functional hand.

'How?'

'As you already knew, I have a Devil Fruit, what you didn't know was what it is. Arlong and company, you have the honour of being the 1st opponents to know my fruit's name since Luffy and I left Fushia village'

'What are you?'

Kaos laughs 'I am Serpens D. Kaos, researcher of the Straw Hat pirates and eater of the Suru Suru no mi. I'm the reflect human but personally I prefer mirror master' he spreads his arms wide, everything from his finger tips to his elbows shifted to a highly reflective, mirror like material/sheen 'What you felt was my Reflect Armour on full strength. Depending on the amount of power I put behind this ability, I either limit the damage, counteract and in turn negate it entirely on as you can see redirect it right back on it's attacker. Few things can take as much as they dish out, as your mangled hand clearly shows' the armour flakes/floats off and Kaos runs at the ray, his right leg shifting and gaining a similar coat, just before he kicks him in the face 'I can also use it for attacks too' he says with a twisted smirk before slamming his other knee into Kuroobi's gut

'This isn't over human' he pants, while Kaos shrugs and smirks regardless

'You sure about that?'

'Yeah, Arlong will deal with you, your friend on the other hand…'

The rayfishman jumps into the water; Kaos just follows him with his eyes

'You must have had that fruit for quite some time human' Kaos raises an eyebrow at the shark's comment 'Most people would at least try to follow before remembering that they can't swim and stop. If you don't even think about it your very subconscious has learnt to avoid the water'

Kaos shrugs 'I've had my powers for about a decade now, but that doesn't always mean much as Luffy has for just as long'

 _ **Zoro Vs Hatchan**_

'Hey you're Zoro right, I thought you fought with 3 swords not 1' Hatchan asks as he barely avoids Zoro's swing

'Didn't think I needed them, 1 is enough to turn you into Calamari' the moss hair grins

'Hatchan pouts 'That's rude' he says as he jumps onto a pillar '…and now I'm stuck' (Damn it, not another one!)

'You idiot, get down from there!' Zoro yells, waving his sword angrily, then stops, breathing heavily as his chest burns and his knees buckle ' _Now is not the time'_

'Nope, hey I know how to get you to fight for real' he cheers, hopping in through a window (Getting an annoyed roar of 'HATCHAN!' from Arlong) and disappearing for a few minutes before jumping back out with a smile 'You'll have to fight for real against my 6 sword style' he exclaims

' _Shit he's right'_ Zoro thinks before turning to the entrance 'Johnny, Yosaku, I need to borrow your swords, toss em here' he yells after placing Wado between his teeth, the bounty hunters turn to one another before nodding and actually do throw their swords at him, but he manages to catch them easily

'Ha, I was right you are Zoro of the 3 swords, but I've got more swords so I'm going to win'

Zoro scoffs, having so recently seen Mihawk defeat his 3 sword style with 1… he would barely call it a knife never mind a sword, but still it proves the point 'It doesn't matter the number, only the weight they carry' he replies

Hachi blinks then laughs 'If it's weight you're looking for your puny human blades don't stand up to fishman metalworking. My swords are 300 pounds each' he states proudly

' _That's not what I… never mind'_ Zoro thinks, seeing the octopus was a simple a straightforward kind of person like his captain, he was sure explaining the concept would similarly go over Luffy's head too.

'Now prepare to be torn to shreds by my power'

 **6 blades: Tentacle Sword Overload**

 **3 Sword style: Streaming Wolf Swords**

Despite the mess that Hachi's flailing arms/tentacles looked to the villagers Zoro managed to dodge and weave between them all, stopping behind the fishman, just as his own wounds were finally noticed by the dim octopus, blood spurting from each gash

'You bastard, how dare you cut me, well prepare to die from my next attack, no human could survive this!' he yells angrily, more flailing limbs following his words.

 **Octopus Pot Stance**

 **New Years – Open – Body Slam**

Zoro manages to block Hachi's attempt to skewer him but was unable to predict or counter when he used it as a disarmer to land a headbutt to his still damaged chest and sending him flying into the air

'Ha ha, now I can finish this, you'll be dead before you hit the ground' Hachi grins before he starts to spin his swords directly below Zoro

 **Waltz of 6 Swords**

It is tantamount to Zoro's skill that all sounds of pain came from Hachi, as he landed on his feet and the octopus stood there with wounds littering his entire body, most notable his hands, to the point all 6 of his swords were lying on the ground, though he was breathing a lot heavier than when he began this fight

'Damn it you bastard, how do you keep making me look bad? I'll kill you for this, I'll tear you limb from limb!' Hachi yells, waving his bloodied hands in Zoro's direction as the swordsman sways

 **Octopus Pot Stance**

' _Even if this wound would kill an ordinary man, if I'm ever to stand against Hawkeye, and then beat him, I must be more, I MUST BE_ _ **EXTRORDIARY**_ _!'_

 **Dragon Twister**

Hachi flies straight up in the wake of Zoro's attack, his shattered blades falling all over Arlong Park, shortly followed by his broken and bloodied, but still breathing body as it leaves a crater in the ground behind Zoro

'It's not how heavy the sword is that matters either' Zoro says, dropping the swords in his hands and sheathing Wado 'just the weight of your resolve and determination. I have yet to meet another swordsman with heavier swords than I'

 _ **Usopp Vs Chew**_

Usopp ran like his life depended on it, occasionally turning back to ensure Chew was still chasing him rather than turn back and cause trouble for his friends. Finally he stops in a marshy area of the island

'I think that's far enough, and will you look at that I lost him' Usopp grins 'I guess he underestimates the true power of a coward' he laughs

'Ahem, you were saying?' Usopp turns and his eyes shoot out of his skull, as standing behind him was a very angry Chew

'Ah!' he screams before running away again

'This getting tedious' Chew sighed 'Just die you long nosed freak!'

 **Squirt Gun**

 _ **Red Star**_

Usopp collapses to the ground ' _blood_ ' staining the dirt below

'Hm, after all that, he's dead in one shot, almost disappointing' Chew shrugs before beginning to walk back in the direction of Arlong Park. Once he was a reasonable safe distance away…

' _Fishmen are so stupid'_ Usopp thinks as he sits up, wiping the ketchup off his chest

'This is insane, these guys tore a village apart and killed everyone so easily. I know Nami needs our help but I really don't want to die' Usopp begins to panic once more, falling back to the ground when he thinks he could still hear the fishman

'Okay so I'm covering fake blood, but I'm still too clean, need to dirty myself up so it looks like I was in a real battle' he says to himself before rubbing dirt into his clothes and arms 'I'm sorry everyone I did my bes…' he stops and thinks of everyone fighting Arlong, everyone he'd be letting down: Luffy, Kaos, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, K-Kaya!

' _Damn it, I can't just play dead when my friends are out there risking their lives. I will be a brave warrior of the sea one day. And I'm going to start now'_ he stands up and yells 'Hey Fish Lips!' at the top of his voice, Chew turning to face him

'Not so dead after all, I'll soon change that. Chew' the fishman says before charging at him, basically running through one of Usopp's exploding Stars and punching him straight in the face. He then walks back over and starts kicking the guy 'You should have stayed down'

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Rubber Band of Dooooooom!**

The hammer slams straight into Chew's extended mouthparts, causing him to flinch, not helped as he tenses in preparation of Usopp's second attack. When nothing came he opened his eyes slowly… to see nothing

'FUCK!' he yells

'Hey catch'

Chew blinks in surprise but his reflexes enable him to catch the projectile before it hits him in the face, surprised when he sees the human threw a bottle at him

SMASH

A shot from Usopp's slingshot shatters the bottle, showering the fishman in its contents

'This, this is booze' he says in confusion as he spits out a mouthful 'Is this the only way you can fight, with cheap tricks?' he shouts angrily, before sticking his head into the marshy water nearby

' _I can't run from this fight, but this is the biggest one in my life. If I lose I die, but I need to fight'_

 **Squirt Cannon**

Usopp has to resist yelling in panic as the trees next to him practically exploded due to the fishman's attack

'This is almost sad how easy it is' Chew thinks

 **Squirt machine gun**

'Oh crap, my one chance to be a real pirate and I'm going to die. No I can't think like that, if I survive this I'm going to be a true pirate, my days of being a coward are over' Usopp says with a slight tremble as Chew's water attack pelts his tree, shortly followed by the fishman himself kicking it out of his way

'What was over?' Chew asks with a sneer

'This fight. Alcohol is flammable'

'Hm?'

 **Flaming Star**

The incendiary shot hits Chew and his body erupts in flames, running around frantically until he remembered the marshes nearby, at which point he barrels in that direction until he finally managed to put himself out

'Ow, bastard human 'he mumbles into the water

'I'm not done yet'

' _Shit'_

 **Usopp Hammer**

The blow to the back of the head sent Chew face down into the water once more, Usopp grinning with pride 'I did it, I actually took down a fishman' he cheers, then screams when Chew groans

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Hammer**

 **Usopp Hammer**

Finally Chew stays down, lumps on his lumps on his lumps on his lumps

 _Back in Arlong Park_

Sanji and Kuroobi erupt from the water, both lying there for a moment gasping for air, Kaos and to a lesser extent Zoro pull the chef to his feet

'Luffy's okay for now, damn it psycho you were meant to deal with him!' Sanji grumbles, but his emotions were muted due to extreme pain

Kaos sighs 'He dove in the water; I can't follow him unless you wanted to save both of us in the process. Good job for surviving that idiot though'

Sanji nods 'I'm not dying today, especially as I can't trust you and moss head to keep Nami and Kaya safe' the blond mutters half jokingly 'Make sure Zoro doesn't die while I deal with this dumbass, we'll need all the men we can muster when Arlong gets off his fat ass to fight us' the purplette flashes a grin as he lets Sanji go, catching Zoro just before he stumbles again. With that dealt with Sanji turns to Kuroobi, who had finally stood back up but was panting tiredly

'You really think you can beat me just because we're out of the water? My fishman karate may be weaker above water but it's still strong enough to kill one normal human (Ha, like Sanji's normal… shit does that count as a spoiler?)' he sneers and throws a punch with his remaining hand, but the blond dodges so fast he practically teleported

'You're a lot slower on land' the chef notes before kicking him in the throat 'You think my love is weak, that I can't protect the people I care about? Let me show you my fiery passion(1)' he then proceeds to kick the crap out of the ray, even going as far as to call out his targets, but even then Kuroobi was unable to stop him. Even as he prepares his ultimate attack Sanji is unimpressed

 **1,000 Brick Fist**

The punch would probably have killed a human… had it connected. But no, instead the rayfishman was kicked clean through Arlong Park, leaving a crater which he failed to crawl out of

'That's how you deal with them' Sanji says as

'Hatchan, Kuroobi' Arlong gasps, his anger beginning to boil

'Hey guys, I brought down fishlips. Finally we have proof nobody can defeat the might Captain Usopp' Usopp boasts from the wall, having just returned to the Park

' _Chew too, what are these people?_ ' Arlong thinks with just a shiver of fear, before rage drowned it

Arlong stands and walks to the edge of the water 'You bastards, I should have never let it get this far, I should have torn you apart the moment you walked here. Now let me show you the difference in power between us' he says, filling his hand with water and tossing it

TBC

LW: Well there we go, Kaos' fruit is revealed and the Straw Hats held their own against Arlong's underlings.

For the record what happened under the water between Kuoobi & Sanji as well as what the others are doing to help Luffy is basically the same as canon. Also the 3 fights happened at the same time, partly because I cut out a lot of Ussop's running away.

 _ **Techniques and Abilities**_

Luffy

 **Gum Gum Pinwheel** : Like I said Luffy twists himself up before grabbing the enemy, then he relaxes and because he's secured himself before using this technique the energy can only go one way… through the enemy as he takes them for a ride, if they're large like Mohmoo they can even be used to clear the area of lessor enemies.

Kaos – Eater of the Suru Suru no mi/ Reflect reflect fruit. Special Paramecia class

 **Reflect Armour** : The silver/chrome substance that's been forming on him since the 2nd chapter. Like I said in the chapter it minimises, cancels out or redirects damage by _'reflecting'_ it back on the attacker. This form of the armour is rather weak though as if the attack is strong enough it'll simply smash through and reach his body below

Zoro

 **Streaming Wolf Swords** : Using 2 swords to block while in a close range spin, Zoro carves into his opponent with his 3rd sword.

 **Dragon Twister** : Zoro spins his swords, causing a dragon-like tornado to form, slashing as well as blowing away his enemy.

Usopp

 **Red Star** : Usopp uses Ketchup to make it look like he took a grevious/mortal wound

 **Usopp Hammer** : Usopp carries a hammer… he uses it to strike his opponents when he's within range (as a slingshot user and a coward, that's not too often)

 **Usopp Rubber Band of Doom!:** One of his _fake out_ techniques, Usopp pulls a rubber band and prepares to fire… then runs away while he opponent is panicing

Kuroobi

 **100 Brick Fist** : Overpowered punch, is apparently strong enough to do severe damage to human and fishmen given a reflected attack basically mangled Kuroobi's own fist.

 **1000 Brick Fist** : The strongest attack in Kuroobi's Fishman karate arsenal, not that it matters given it never connected with anything

Hachi

 **Hachi Ink Jet** : Hachi's an octopus, so he can spit ink to blind his opponents

 _ **Rokutoryu**_ – 6 swords style, made possible by Hachi being an octopus fishman and therefore having 6 arms with which to wield them.

 **Tentacle Sword Overload** : Hachi charges at his opponent, swinign his swords wildly given how much metal is flying through the air he's bound to hit something.

 **Octopus Pot Stance** : Hachi holds his swords out in front of him, blunt edges touching/sharp edges out. He then runs at the enemy, the blades protecting his core from a strike

 **New Years – Open – Body Slam** : Going straight from Pot Stance Hachi swings open his arms, leaving his target wide open for a headbutt / body slam, sending them flying into the air

 **Waltz of 6 swords** : While in the air, Hachi gets under his target and begins to spin his swords. It should tear anyone unlucky enough to get caught in it to shreds.

Chew

 **Squirt Gun** : Chew spits water at such speed and power getting hit with it is akin to being shot… similar to how Luffy used to say his fists were as strong as pistols

 **Squirt Cannon** : Chew fills himself to bursting, then releases it in one attack, the waterball hitting with the force of a cannon ball

 **Squirt machine gun** : Rapid fire Squirt Gun attacks, resemble a machine gun in speed and ferocity.

(1) One of the benefits of writing a story 19-20 years behind the actual series is I have a lot of material to work with, in this case yes that was a reference to Sanji's Diable Jambe, which is supposedly created from that fiery passion, or something similar.


	16. Luffy's Great White

LW: Here we go, Arlong Vs Luffy fight!

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Luffy's Great White

There should have been an explosion given the damage it did to the pirates, either that or it should have done almost nothing given all Arlong did was throw a handful of water at them. Zoro went down first due to his previous injuries, with Kaos and Sanji also getting shoved back by the force of the attack, a second handful dropping them on their asses just like the swordsman.

'Fuck, all he did was throw water at us' Sanji grunts in pain; Kaos nodding in agreement as he slowly sits up, the shark grinning madly

Arlong's attack tore up the eldest straw hat's shirt, allowing the shark to see his handiwork, even without holes the cracks radiated out of and connecting each spot that he hit still looked like someone had shot at reinforced glass

'I'll be honest, hitting you with that as well as the other 2 was a gamble, I might have needed to dodge those redirected water attacks' Arlong admits and Kaos chuckles

'Yeah that's not something I've perfected yet, melee combat is my speciality, the most reliable I could've done was redirect the damage, which would just ionise the water. Pointless use of my powers as they say' he explains as Sanji and Zoro get back up unfortunately so does Hatchan.

'ARLONG!'

The fishman looks up 'Ah Nami, perfect timing, you must be here to see me deal with these useless human trash?'

'No'

'Hmm?' Arlong raises an eye ridge

'I'm, here to kill you' she states coldly in a matter of fact tone. Despite that Arlong just laughed

'Kill me, dear sweet Nami, are you even able to keep track of how many times you've tried, and failed to kill me since I took you in? I lost count after 30 myself. I'm not sure why it's failed to enter your brain that pathetic humans like yourself can't kill a fishman like me.' He chuckles 'now I'm not going to kill you, but you're not leaving this place. You're going to stay here forever as our cartographer, drawing maps for me, until you die. That's the plan but I'd much prefer you return to me of your own free will. You can re-enter the fold and become and Arlong pirate again, or I'll have my fishmen kill every living thing on this island except you and burn that tangerine grove to the ground, then force you to draw sea charts for me. It's a simple choice Nami, especially for someone who's supposed to be the 3rd smartest human in the East Blue' he grins widely 'I'll even spare the villagers if you come back to me, they haven't actually done anything yet after all, though these idiots will have to be killed to set an example for anyone who gets any ideas about revolution. So that's the choice Nami, will you join me and keep the village safe, or join them in fighting and watch everyone you ever cared about die?'

' _I can't do this, if I stay with Luffy and the others Arlong will tear everyone apart, but if I join him the village will be safe… but still under his thumb. Fuck!'_ Nami internally screams, hands clenching around the edges of her hat… Luffy's hat _'No! I can't give up, I need to believe they can pull through'_ she breathes in and out then turns to the villagers 'Well it looks like we're fighting to the death'

Arlong sneers 'That was a poor decision, but it seems there's no turning back now' he was about to advance on the mob when a fountain erupts just outside Arlong Park _'What? Seriously it's one thing after another today'_

Kaos grins 'The Captain will see you… well give it 5 minutes' he chuckles before tossing his dagger, not even reacting when the fishman easily catches it

'This is it? You humans think this puny thing is the legendary Heb… ah!' Arlong groans as a blade the size of Yoru embeds itself in his right shoulder

'Yes, yes it is' Kaos smiles as with a flick of the wrist the longsword is forcefully yanked from the fishman's body, morphing into its khopesh form on the way back. The standing teens look between each other and nod, Sanji jumping back into the water while Kaos pulls Zoro up, the green haired man lightly shoving the purplette away to steady himself.

SPLASH

'Hatchan!' Arlong yells, the octopus getting the message and beginning to charge when Kaos (being the least injured and therefore able to move the quickest) pushed him back with his foot.

'No interfering' he states, blocking Hatchan's attack with a buster sword

'Imbeciles' Arlong growls as he begins to walk towards the pool, back stepping when he catches a flash of steel in his periphery. Zoro stands before him, 3 swords out and ready to fight, even if he swayed a little the longer he stood 'You're not going anywhere, and you're not going to stop him getting Luffy back up here' he states between ragged breathes

'In the ocean, people with Devil Fruit powers loose even the strength needed to struggle, as well as their powers (Incorrect, at least for people like Luffy as he can still stretch, but he has no control of it himself so Arlong gets half a point), he will die down there' Arlong says, watching for the moment to strike, the swordsman was good but his current condition left quite a few openings in his technique.

 **Egg Star**

Arlong frowns as he takes focus off Zoro for a second, batting away the egg as if it were nothing

'I got your back Zoro' Usopp declares… from the other side of the wall to Arlong Park

Despite everything Nami smiles _'They're all alive, even Usopp'_

'Okay so we need to keep Arlong out of the water until Sanji can get Luffy free, I'll just stop him from goin anywhere' Usopp thinks as he reaches into his bag of tricks 'Hey Zoro, now's your chance!' he yells

 **Usopp Rubber Band of Doom!**

'If I'm taking you down, I'm starting with that big nose' Zoro declares, swinging straight for the fishman's face… but the sword was stopped dead on the aforementioned long nose

'Stupid human' Arlong cackles 'it's a proud nose because it's unbreakable. If you were at full strength, you might have been able to give it a nick, but like this you didn't stand a chance' then punctures that statement… by puncturing Zoro's chest.

'Big Bro!'

'Zoro!'

Arlong sneers as he holds the swordsman by his throat 'That's all you got then? Too bad, I almost broke a sweat' his eyebrow raises 'What's with all these bandages, did the weak human fall over?' he taunts before ripping them clean off, Zoro holding in a scream of pain.

Arlong stares at Zoro's injury in a mixture of horror and morbid fascination, ' _how was this human even still alive right now?'_

'What are you?'

'Human, but I'm they guy who fought Dracule Mihawk of Walachia, and lived to talk about it' Zoro answers, voice brimming with pride

For a moment the primal fear centre of his mind flared to life, Arlong thinking _'What the fuck has that ginger bitch dropped on my head this time?'_ before it was ruthlessly buried once more 'Doesn't matter, he dies right now' Arlong says mostly to himself but is confused by the human's expression

'If a person stays put, their wounds won't open up' Zoro smiles despite the pain

Arlong norrows his eyes 'Find something amusing about your situation, besides living a few more seconds?'

'I wasn't talking about me' Zoro answers and Arlong's eyes widen as one thought zips through his mind

' _Shit, Hachi!'_

He turns just as Hatchan erupts in a fountain of blood, all his flailing around reopened his wounds, falling to the ground in front of a winded Kaos, who gives the limp octopus man a kick to the head just to be sure, before turning to help Zoro.

Before we get that far there was a commotion just outside Arlong Park, followed by one just above it as Luffy shot up into the sky, loudly declaring 'I'm Back!' bringing a smile to the faces of his crew.

'Took your time getting back Monkey' Kaos teases

'Needs a new watch, you're late' Zoro grunts, his eyes shrinking to pinpricks when he feels Luffy's hands on his back _'Ah crap'_

'Let's switch' Luffy yells, pulling Zoro out of Arlong's grip and using the energy to fling himself towards the shark while sending Zoro a probably safe distance away

'YOU IDIOT!' was the collective yell of everyone except Arlong at the rubber boy's manoeuvre, but it was silenced when he started laying into Arlong

 **Gum Gum Bell**

 **Gum Gum Whip**

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

The bell stunned Arlong long enough for the whip to overbalance him, meaning the pistol was able to slam him up against Arlong Park, with…

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

… his final attack sending him through the building

'I forget how strong you are sometimes Luffy' Kaos muses as everyone else was frozen in shock at the fact Luffy was able to do so much damage to Arlong when none of the others seemed to be able to do anything to the saw shark.

A grunt broke the spell as rubble shifted 'That all you got?' Arlong taunts as he stands back up

Luffy cracks him knuckles and puts on his serious face 'Nope just a warm up, got to make sure everything still works after my swim'

'You stupid human, you were better off drowning on the ocean floor' Arlong growls as begins to walk towards the brothers

'Nah I like it better up here' Luffy replies, doing stretches to get his rubber body back to its usual elasticity

'You can't even comprehend my anger right now. I watched my brothers get crushed like worms. You don't understand, but soon you'll see you should have all stopped fighting a long time ago' he says with a rumble in his voice, but Luffy seems unconcerned and Kaos actually had the gall to look amused, seriously what are these people? Are they even people?

Anger makes most people sloppy, but Arlong had focus, it was just what he focused on was causing as much pain as possible. Using more water as a distinction the moment Kaos brought his arms up to defend himself Arlong put all his fishman strength into slamming his forearm into his face, grinning widely when he hears a crunch and the momentum throws the bony pirate through a wall deep into Arlong Park. Now he just had Luffy to worry about, and this kid was basically a brainless moron so this shouldn't take too long.

'Do you know the difference between you and I?' he asks, oddly calm despite his boiling rage

'Is it the nose? The fin? Do you have a tail?' Luffy asks/offers, confused sweat drops forming on the crowd, while tics formed on Arlong's forehead

'SPECIES!' the shark yells, trying to take a bite out of Luffy but the captain dodges, and continues to dodge until he's backed into a corner and pinned by Arlong's large blue hand. With his vice like grip on the boy's chest, Luffy was forced to physically grab his head and move it out of the way of the path of Arlong's jaws, causing the sharkman to embed his teeth into the pillar behind him. Momentary shock of biting into something much harder than expected gave Luffy a chance to escape and put a little distance between them

'Yeah take that you stupid fishman, with a blow like that his teeth are gonna break… through the pillar!' Usopp screams the last part in shock as Arlong bites through the pillar, tearing down the section it was holding up.

' _So glad none of us had to fight Arlong up to now, that bastard could bite right through you without even trying'_ Sanji thinks with a healthy does of fear running down his spine.

Arlong chuckles before going off on another spiel 'This is the inherent strength of a fishman, its pitiful how you humans are born with such weak bodies and limited potential. It makes sense for you to bow before me as your genetic and physical superior. We've been on a different level to you weaklings from the very beginning but you continue to flail around in the dirt. Isn't it time for you to just die!'

Luffy scoffs and gets into a ready stance 'Bring it Arlong; there's no way I'm loosing to a fishman. After all, I'm going to the be King of the Pirates'

Arlong scoffs 'King of the pirates? A punt human like you couldn't possibly conquer the Grand Line, hell you're not even going to make it to the Grand Line, you can't even crush a pillar with your jaws

'So what?' Arlong was confused by the question 'Stop bragging about fishy things, you're not that awesome' Luffy argues, sending his fist through some rubble 'Besides breaking rocks with your teeth seems dumb'

Tics form on Arlong's neck 'Idiot, that's not the point! Every human on this planet is weak, what good are you if you can't even pull yourself out of the water?' he jumps at Luffy once more, but the captain dodges rather swiftly, grabbing some swords along the way

'As it happens I'm worthless without my friends backing me up' he declares with a smile, further confusing the fishman which probably helps when Luffy starts swinging the swords at him, forcing him to step back with each swing to remain out of reach

'You're insane, whatever this crap is it isn't swordsplay, you're just a child playing pirate flailing those swords around' Arlong mocks before batting one away with his nose and catching the other in his jaw 'I hope you realise by now this is no game' he grumbles around the metal, just before shattering it with a clench of his teeth 'Enough games, now you die'

'Shut up!' Luffy yells before punching the shark square in the jaw, throwing him back but also (to Arlong as much as everyone else's) breaking his teeth.

'You're right, I don't know the 1st thing about using a sword besides not holding the sharp part'

' _Where's this going?'_ Usopp, Kaya and Nami wonder, Sanji knowing this was going to end badly and Zoro was too out of it to care.

'I'm not a swordsman, I can't navigate, or cook, or lie, really come up with plans, or make portals and redirect attacks. I know if I was doing this alone I'd be dead by now, but with friends, family, nakama we fit together, we cover the gaps the others have in their own skills.

Arlong chuckles 'So you finally admit what a pathetic human you are?' he asks with a tinge of amusement rather anger for a change 'You're an idiot but you're honest. How do your crew feel putting up with this stupidity each and every day? Bet it drives them half insane, but then it confuses me how much trouble they went through in order to save you, their brainless buffoon of a captain. A half wit like you doesn't deserve anything, never mind a ship and crew, what could you possibly do that makes you worth their time and effort?'

Luffy smirks 'I can kick your ass. I'm strong and I have a dream, that's my part of the team fulfilled' he answers, getting cheers from the mob and slight smiles from the crew

'Cheer all you want, it won't save you' Arlong shouts, his broken teeth falling out and newer ones shooting out almost instantly

'Holy crap you got new teeth!'

'I'm a shark, each set that breaks is replaced by another, and each one if stronger than the last' (Don't know if that's how that works, but it sounds good so who cares) he says before yanking out a set just before another grows back 'Endlessly' he finishes, pulling out the 2nd and letting the 3rd form, now he had a set in each hand as well as his jaw 'This is one of the many gifts given to fishmen, which make us greater than any humans'

'That's so cool!' (Not the time Luffy!)

 **Tooth Attack**

Arlong leaps at Luffy, using his removed teeth like clamps or shears, trying to snap at Luffy, first being able to dodge but Arlong's frenzy meant he was bound to hit something eventually…

'Arlong, stop, it hurts'

… too bad it was another fishman, Luffy pulling one of the previously beaten minions up as a ' _human_ ' shield, and given he was free of bite marks I'd say it did it's job perfectly :D

'You stretchy freak! How dare you use one of my brothers as a shield!'

Luffy sighs in relief before shrugging 'Hey, you attacked me remember? Not my fault you weren't looking where you were snapping'

Arlong steamed 'Don't you move you little freak'

Luffy hums and rubs his chin 'Now there's an idea'

'Luffy has an idea'

'Oh crap here we go again'

 **Tooth Attack**

This time the attacks were… not so much slower just more focused as well as clearly being individual attacks, meaning Arlong was holding back to avoid going frenzy again and risking another of his brother's to the human's treachery. Luckily Luffy was still able to pull himself out of the way, for the most part until he sees an opening and kicks Arlong in the face, knocking him onto his back and leaving a large dent in the ground

' _This kid is making a mockery of me, a mighty fishman!_ You know what, fuck this! Rubber boy's getting sliced and diced!' Arlong grunts before punching him way through the wall of Arlong Park (surprised there are still intact outer walls at this point) and pulled out his massive saw sword

Luffy's reaction to this change in tactics was layered, in order it went

'Aw, I wanted to have shark teeth'

'That's not a very effective way to get things out of your house'

And finally

' _Shit, not so good with sharp things!'_

Arlong's clear lack of care towards collateral damage shows why the others wanted to deal with the StrawHats themselves, Arlong was causing more damage to Arlong Park in a couple of swings than had been done to the building in the entire back to back fights everyone else had done up to that moment, jumping after his prey and swinging his Sawblade with reckless (or maybe just feckless) abandon.

While dodging Arlong's enormous Saw Sword, Luffy hops/climbs his way up Arlong Park until he's distracted by a plume of dark blue smoke, coming out of one of the windows, wondering if the source would be able to help he bounces in the window, finding himself in a room full of paper, charts and maps.

'Glad to see you finally made it' a calm voice says and Luffy turned, there at the desk by the window, clear evidence that he shoved the contents to the floor so he could sit down was Kaos, a serpent styled pipe clenched between his teeth, though what bothered Luffy was that the smoke didn't just come out of his mouth and the pipe but escaped out the cracks in his face and neck, most worryingly one that nearly split his left eye. The only good thing was he could see the cracks were visibly sealing themselves.

'What is this place?'

'At the moment a place to recover, otherwise I believe it's the map room' Kaos answers with a heavy sigh, rising just before Arlong crashes through the window

Meanwhile on the ground Nami pales ' _No, not that room!_ ' she practically screams in her mind

'There's nowhere else to run humans' Arlong says, glass crunching under his sandals 'It ends here, in the highest level of Arlong Park. It seems fitting you die here considering it was because of Nami you embarked on this suicide mission'

Luffy looks confused 'Hm, why?'

Arlong spreads his arms and chuckles 'This is where I've kept Nami, where she draws all my sea charts'

Luffy looks around, Kaos already having peeked at everything while he attempted to recover 'This was Nami's room'

Arlong nods 'These sea charts are the culmination of the last 8 years of Nami's life. Even at a glace it should be obvious these maps are more valuable than any treasure. Gathering data on the ocean is simple for a fishman, but translating that information into a useable map is quite difficult, which is why we needed a surveyor. And that's where Nami came in, in fact it's her skill in map making that is the sole reason I refuse to part with her, there is no one who even comes close, in the East Blue or even the Grand Line. Her talents are too good for human scum like you, she should be used to build up the mighty Arlong Empire'

'Now listen here little human, Nami belongs to me' Arlong speaks directly to Luffy

'Is that so?' Luffy's response was… empty

'And you're interfering in our business. Nami isn't your friend, get that throught your thick skull before you perish'

'I don't care' Luffy states flatly

'Nami is our navigator'

Arlong grins 'Oh really, you want Nami to navigate the little dingie of yours? What a waist of her talents. There is nobody in the world who can compare to her skill is map making, letting her go isn't an option, even less with human scum like you. That girl has a gift and there's nothing worse than wasting natural talent, which is exactly what would happen if I let you put her on your boat. Drawing sea charts for me is the only way for her to live to her full potential!'

'This pen, is stained with blood' Kaos notes, holding the offending item by the tip of the feather, his face pinched, showing up the cracks more deeply than before

'In order for me to obtain world supremacy her sea charts are vital. She will continue drawing sea charts for my own ambition, and once her charts give me full knowledge of all the world's oceans, nothing will stand in my way, we will be invincible. The world will kneel before us, before me. 1st this island, then the East Blue and finally the World! You could never use her like me' he boasts, seemingly unaware of the growing anger in the room

'Use her' Luffy repeats, hands clenching around the bloody pen

'Yes, even a worthless human can be of use to a fish…' he couldn't finish that sentence as Luffy's fist slammed into his face; the sharkman just balanced himself before a deep gash appeared on his chest.

'This room is keeping Nami here; it has to go' Luffy mutters flatly before turning to his brother 'Kaos, do it'

Kaos readjusts his fedora 'You sure?' Luffy's serious face was his answer 'Okay then'

 _Click_ _**Whoosh!**_

'Wha–what are you doing?' Arlong yells frantically as his life's work goes up in smoke thanks to some indigo flames

'Sacrificing a rather nice lighter to destroy Nami's connection to this place. Seems like a good deal to me' Kaos answers with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes

'You bastards! I'll kill you ALL!' he roars, swinging his Saw Sword down on them, except…

 **Odo no gosuto no boyaketa hansha: Zabimaru**

…it clashes with another multitoothed blade, which Kaos uses to shield himself and Luffy

'Too bad so sad, try again next time' he chuckles humourlessly, sparks fly between both blades rubbing against one another

'How? You're just an ordinary human, you shouldn't be able to do this' Arlong grunts as he tries to push forward but fails

'Luffy and I grew up together; we've gone through the same shit. I may not be able to match him in pure physical might, I'm more a technique guy, but I can hold my own just fine against a bastard like you' he smiles with pointed teeth and for a second Arlong thinks he sees slitted pupils, before his mind if occupied by something a little more important… that being the shark saw had just been snapped in 2. Kaos removes his hat and slips it into his cloak, the frown on his face causing a tiny voice in Arlong's head to yell 'RUN!' but he ignored it as always

'It's not enough to simply burn the maps. As long as this room exists Nami will never be free, so it must be destroyed, and the best way to do that is to tear the entire place down with it' Luffy then raises his foot, shooting it up through the ceiling till it finds open air

'Oh no you don't!'

 **Shark Tooth Drill**

 **Reflect Armour**

Kaos puts himself between Luffy and Arlong, his fruit breaking teeth but his chest still got painfully shredded, at least until…

 **Gum Gum Battle Axe**

Luffy's foot manages to hit the back of Arlong's head, bringing the fishman for a ride the rest of the journey to the bottom of Arlong Park, unfortunately the damage sustained from Arlong's assault earlier, all the damage their previous fights had done to the bottom floor, combined with this were too much for the building and it collapsed in on itself

'LUFFY! KAOS!' Nami screams as Yosaku and Johnny pull her to safety. Everything was unnaturally quiet for a few minutes as everyone stared that the mound of debris that had once been the intimidating Arlong Park, then there was a soft of shifting rubble.

From the wreckage of Arlong Park Luffy and Kaos pulled themselves free, the Captain standing tall and loudly proclaiming 'Nami! We will always be Nakama!' at the top of his voice, Kaos smiles softly as Nami cries happy tears

' _Oh Luffy'_ she thinks fondly, with tears streaming down her face as she returns the straw hat to it's rightful place, after the rubber boy lolloped over at a much more sedate pace than usual

'He won'

'Arlong Park has fallen'

'We're finally free!'

In all the commotion another shift of rubble was unnoticed by the villagers. With a pained groan Arlong falls out of the pile and sees Nami and Luffy smiling and happy. He may have more broken than intact bones right now, and probably internal bleeding but he was going to rip that rubber bastard apart before he went.

 **SHARK…**

 **Saigo no bīto**

A rush of air blows Luffy's hat off his head, when he picks it back up he notices the look of shock and horror on his navigator's face. It was then the attack name finally registered in his brain.

'No way, you used that move and I missed it' he pouts before turning to see Kaos' handiwork

The purplette had a blade embedded to the hilt in Arlong's forehead and due to the nature of his sword that meant it's depth/length was unknown and so was the damage. It was enough to hold the entire saw shark's dead body up, but as he shoved the lump aside and pulled it out it was already on its way to returning to its original form

'If you had been able to watch you would have seen Arlong coming and I wouldn't have needed to use it. Anyone know if fishmen have spare hearts, just out of curiosity?' he asks wiping blood of the khopesh

Nami shakes her head 'no, Arlong wouldn't have kept something like that secret if he did, it would've been used as more proof of fishman superiority by him' she says with a sigh

'Then he's definitely dead'

'Well, well, well what do we have here? Arlong Park destroyed?' a familiar condescending jackass makes a reappearance 'I'm sure you all know pirate loot becomes property of the marines Chichichi' Nezumi smirks until Kaos moves to the side and he freezes

'Arlong's dead, if you don't leave now you'll join him' Nami explains bluntly, the rest of the village glaring at him and his remaining marines

Nezumi looks about ready to retort when a **Gum Gum Pistol** shot him down the road 'And stay out!' Luffy yelled, having had enough of dicks like him and Arlong hurting Nami

'You brat, do you have any idea who you're dealing with? I'm a marine corporal!'

' _Not for long'_ Kaos smirks while Luffy picks his nose in disinterest

'Do I look like I care? I'm a pirate; Marine's don't scare us' he laughs, before Nami is allowed beat the message into him

TBC

LW: Well there we go, Luffy deals with Arlong then Kaos makes sure the fish bastard isn't coming back. Now hopefully the next chapter will appear just behind this, but who knows, I sure don't at the time of writing this.

Techniques

 _Luffy_

 **Gum Gum Battle Axe** : From what I can tell it's an enhanced version of Hammer, this one having the power to level a building, mostly because it starts higher and rather than stopping when it reaches level with his body, continues on till it reaches the ground.

 _Kaos_

 **Odo no gosuto no boyaketa hansha (Blurred reflection of an aether ghost):** His sword transforms into the shape of a famous blade, but as it's merely a reflection it's not as powerful as the real thing.

 **Saigo no bīto** **(Last Beat):** A rather difficult finishing move to pull off as it requires the blade to pierce both the brain and heart of the target, causing instant death. The name comes from the idea that the attack finishes them off between heartbeats, so their last beat was before the attack began.

 _Arlong_

 **Tooth Attack** : Arlong attacks with his teeth, be they in his mouth or his hands

 **Shark Tooth Drill** : Through unknown means (probably using those special fishman powers he talks about) Arlong spins with his mouth open, forming a whirling vortex of teeth/death.

I know it's a serious situation but did anyone else find it funny Arlong can't stop monologing about fishman superiority even when he's underwater and nobody is around to hear him?


	17. End of a Saga, Last Straw Hat?

LW:

Rubber King and Mirror Master – End of a Saga, Last Straw hat?

The party thrown by the people of the island afterwards was insane and intense, (which given it was pretty much a 3 day bender is understandable) more booze than even Zoro and Nami could drink, what felt like thousands of women for Sanji to swoon over & flirt with and entire crowds of people who didn't know Usopp was a lying liar who lies so listened eagerly to his stories as well as danced along with his singing. Kaos was taking it easy, doctor's orders but still managed to get some booze into him, while Luffy appeared to have almost 5 types of meat in his mouth at the same time. Finally Kaya was assisting with patching up their swordsman.

'This is a good job don't get me wrong but you guys really need an actual doctor, there are things well beyond your skills that are a lot more likely to occur given your crew's members and occupation if you know what I mean' the doctor comments as they stitch up Zoro's would before reapplying his bandages.

Kaya sighs 'I know, but I'm all they have and I'm trying to constantly improve my craft in order to stay ahead of whatever insanity Luffy brings to us. Still, a qualified doctor would be nice'

'A doctor, musician, maybe even an archaeologist and artist' Luffy adds through the window 'Got any ham melons?' he asks Zoro reaching up and slamming the window shut with a pained groan.

Later

Genzo makes his way up the hill, hoping for a moment to speak to Belle-mere but when he got here someone was already there

'You know Miss, I don't know whether to like you for doing so well raising those girls as well as going as far as to die for them, or hate you because Nami's kind of a cunt' Genzo grits his teeth and almost marches over but he contains himself when Kaos continues 'Still regardless I respect you, for doing all that practically alone. You're one of the few marines I have no problems with, if fact I actually kind of like you, nice work dear' Kaos turns and sees the man behind him 'Hey Genzo, this is the right grave I'm speaking to correct? Belle-mere was Nami's mother?'

The old man nods 'Only one she ever knew, Belle rescued those girls from a war zone, just after Nojiko found Nami crying in the wreckage. Those 3 weren't in any way related…'

'Why would that matter?' Genzo stops at the taller boy's question 'You think Nojiko sees Nami any less her sister because they don't share blood, or that Belle-mere thought them any less her daughters, or either girl think of you as less their father?' Genzo's jaw drops but the purplette continues 'I've got no family and Luffy just has his Gramps, but counting each other we had 3 brothers, a big sis and an honorary mama, not to mention nakama. Family doesn't end with blood, best I can say is it starts with it, what matters is you care' he gave quite the impassioned speech, his fists clenched tightly.

Genzo sighs 'If you'd let me finish you'd have seen me agree, there wasn't a drop of blood between them, but they were a family'

Kaos laughs and rubs the back of his neck with a slight blush 'Oh, sorry about that' he then takes his bottle and empties it over the marker 'Arlong is gone and the village is free, just because you're dead doesn't mean you have to miss out on the celebration Belle-mere' he sighs tiredly, wringing his hands 'I know you'll want a moment alone, goodnight Genzo' he walks off, Genzo shakes his head and chuckles lowly

'Belle-mere your youngest sure brought some freaks and weirdoes to our village, but it's clear they care about her and her them. Your girl is finally free to pursue her dreams and it's all thanks to those guys' a tear slides down his cheek 'You'd be proud of who they've both become, those little rascals you dropped on our laps' he smiles sadly, before placing his pinwheel in the ground beside the grave.

 _The next morning_

Kaos hoped the booze was worth it, having supplied Kaya with the megaphone she was currently yelling at a hung-over Zoro, first for drinking while taking medication, then louder when he told her he hadn't taken the medication and just had the booze itself. Luckily he was the only one who drank **THAT** much of the people leaving, the others able to get their supplies (including Nami's money) onto the ship, they were just missing one thing

'Where's that bloody witch?' Zoro asks, ears ringing as he shuffles away from the blond

'Don't know, but we probably can't wait too long'

'We can't leave without her' Sanji yells angrily, the others taking a step back before him and Zoro begin another fight

Before anything else can be said there's a loud commotion, as their navigator ran full tilt towards them

'Open the sails, NOW!' she yells loudly, the others were confused, except Sanji who loudly protested until Luffy silenced him and told them to do as she said. Because of this the Merry had already started to sail away when she reaches the crowd of villagers, slipping between bodies and finally rolling past Nojiko and Genzo before running/jumping off the edge of the harbour, Luffy and Kaos catching her arms and lifting her onto the deck.

'That seemed really dangerous' Usopp worries while Nami chuckles

'Not as dangerous as this' she grins and lifts her shirt, Kaya getting ready to cover Usopp's eyes but it doesn't go that high, just enough for about 30 wallets, purses, watches and pieces of jewellery fall to the deck, the pirates not having gotten far enough away to avoid hearing them all yell angrily as they realise what Nami's parting gift was: She'd robbed/pick pocketed them all.

Luffy and Kaos laugh, the purplette using his captain to stabilize himself, Kaya giggled once she was sure Nami wasn't about to flash them and the rest just stared at her in shock.

'A little something to remember me by, thanks a bunch!' she yells back to them, grinning widely as she does so.

'Glad you're back officially Nami' Kaos smiles as he places a hand on her shoulder… before slamming her headfirst into the wall

'The fuck you do that for you bastard?' Sanji yells as he launches a flying kick, which the 1st mate just about dodges 'Nami-swan hasn't done a thing to y…' he shuts up when Nami's fist finds his face

'Stay out of this!' she practically shrieks, then sighs 'That was the payback you mentioned before, right?'

Kaos nods 'Taking into account your previous circumstances, it's just the 1 instead of 3' he then smiles widely 'I like the new ink, much cooler than the last one' he says drawing attention to Nami's arm. Where once Arlong's Roger sat like a brand, now a swirling design took it's place, a stylised pinwheel and tangerine, though the latter part needed to be explained as it wasn't exactly obvious with everything being blue and all.

 _Marine Branch 16_

'HELLO? HELLO?'

'This is navy headquarters'

'GOOD, THIS IS COLONEL NEZUMI OF BRANCH 16, CODE 00733. I HAVE A REQUEST'

'Um there's no need to shout I can…'

'THERE ARE 2 PIRATES OUT HERE, ONE WEARS A STRAW HAT AND IS NAMED LUFFY, THE OTHER IS HIS 1ST MATE, THE PURPLE HAIRED ONE, KAOS. THESE 2 AND THEIR CREW OF 7 ARE ENEMIES OF THE GOVERNMENT!'

'Luffy and Kaos, got it' the clert nods as he writes it down

'THEY MANAGED TO TAKE DOWN THE REPORTEDLY UNBEATABLE FISHMAN ARLONG IN THEIR HOME BASE, THE TALL ONE EVEN KILLED ARLONG HIMSELF! BASED ON THE GRAVE THREAT THEY FACE TO THE PEACE A LARGE BOUNTY HAS BEEN PLACED ON THEIR HEADS! TRANSMITTING PHOTOS NOW'

The clerk nods 'I've got them… um are you sure this is a dangerous pirate captain? The other I believe, their evil in his eyes but straw hat…' the man is both surprised and confused, this grinning idiot looks completely harmless

'Couldn't you get a better picture than that?' Nezumi yells at his subordinate

'No, sorry sir'

' Okay, I'll have these verified and submitted for approval. Also Colonel, you're required to return to Marine Headquarters' the mousefaced marine looked confused on the Den Den Mushi, but sighs

'Of course, I'll head there straight away' he grumbles before hanging up.

The marine sighs before making another call 'Commodore Brannew, Nezumi is on his way to Marine Headquarters as you requested'

'Thank you, that will be all' The green haired man groans and runs his fingers through his afro, while he did find it amusing when a criminal's own incompetence lead to their capture, it was still a sad day when it was one of their own

 _Flashback_

' _Arlong-Sama, mission is akomplished, marine guy is dead just like you asked' a high pitched, childlike voice called_

' _This is a secure marine line, how did you get this frequency?'_

' _I sorry, Mousey-san leant me his Den Den to call Arlong-Sama. He always so helpful to fishmen in Cojo Yakcha'_

' _Mouse-san?'_

' _Yep, marine guy with mouse face. He's always so nice to me and Mari not like other marines, Arlong pay him very well because of that'_

' _Mari?'_

' _My cousin Mari. I Cali, we squid fishmans under Captain Arlong-Sama, Mouse-san is a really good friend to us and Arlong-San'_

 _Flashback Ends_

He didn't like exploiting either a child or a simpleton he wasn't sure which he'd prefer, but either way he had to go with the evidence they supplied, as well as Nezumi's information on these new rookie pirates

 **Monkey D Luffy**

 **Serpen D Kaos**

TBC

LW: Well that's that. Just so you know there are reasons for the name of the chapter: 1st, we are really close to the end of the East Blue Saga, just have Loguetown left, as well as the fact all the original Straw Hats from EB have joined officially. Everyone else on the canon crew (as well as the planned future additions) is from/on the Grand Line and will be recruited as we go. I'm sure some people will see them coming but too bad, they're what I picked.


	18. Straw Hat 1st Bounty

LW: Well here's a minor chapter, just like in the anime itself it's as the chapter says Luffy and Kaos' first bounties as well as the reactions from anyone worth mentioning.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Straw Hat 1st Bounty

 _Marine Headquarters_

'So even our most conservative estimates put them as too much to handle ourselves?' one marine asks

The green haired man nods 'From our Intel, back when it was only them they defeated Alvida as well as Axe Hand Morgan. And since then there's no signs of stopping or even slowing down' he the points to the wanted posters for the pirates defeated by this group

Buggy the Clown: 15 million

Kuro of 100 Plans: 16 million

'Foul Play' Krieg: 17 million

'Sawtooth' Arlong: 20 million

'Not only that but both Kuro and Arlong have been taken out by these monsters, well one of them at least. They also attacked and defeated former lieutenant Fullbody as well as disgraced former marine captain Nezumi' green afro man then sighs 'I know these starting bounties seem rather high even on a global scale never mind the east Blue where the average is 3 million, but as you can see, these pirates are that dangerous'

 _Going Merry_

'You raised them again?' Nami asked annoyed at the bird who nodded reluctantly 'This seems a little expensive don't yah think' the bird shrugs, the prices weren't in it's control, which Nami knew but liked to vent 'Fine here you go, but it gets any higher and I'll stop paying' the bird nods before letting Nami have her paper and flying off. Meanwhile Usopp was working on developing new 'stars'/ammo for his slingshot, Kaya was basically cloud gazing and Zoro was doing what he does best on this ship… sleeping. As for the other 3… well we'll get to that in a minute.

' _Ha, I've almost finished my newest marvel, the Tabasco Star. An eyeful of this and the enemy will be begging…_ ' Usopp didn't get to finish that thought as Luffy was tossed into him by Sanji, splashing the sauce all over his own face and feeling like his tear ducts were filled with molten magma (SAKAZUKI!)

'Ah come on, I just want one of them, this is my ship so it's my stuff' Luffy complains loudly, seemingly oblivious to Usopp's screams of pain… apparently so was Kaya as she hadn't come over to check on him yet.

'No, this is Nami's tangerine orchard, I won't let a single fruit be tak…' the cook proudly proclaims until he gets slammed face first into the deck by a mildly annoyed Kaos, who picks 2 tangerine and tosses one to the hungry Luffy

'Thanks'

'Don't worry about it' he smiles, though quickly moves to the opposite side of the ship to the cook before he wakes up (For simplicity: Zoro and Kaya are at the front, Sanji is in the middle with the tangerines, and Usopp, Nami, Luffy and Kaos are now at the back). All was right with the world until Nami sees the pages that fell out of her newspaper

 **YOU DUMBASSES!**

That shout got the guy's attention, as well as Kaya as she was worried Nami was going to hurt one of them … again

'You've gone and done it this time' she growls, passing 2 pages to the brothers: Luffy's had him with his signature 'D' grin, looking like he was having the time of his life, while Kaos' had a rather disturbing slasher smile, his eyes nearly glowing with glee.

' **Straw Hat' Luffy: 38,000,000 beri**

' **Mirror Master' Kaos: 42,000,000 beri**

'See that Kaos, we're wanted men!' Luffy cheers, bouncing around while Kaos chuckles

'That's probably the highest active bounty in the East Blue, and you 2 got it on your first try' Zoro says in both shock and slight amusement, having learnt by now nothing is ever normal or straight forward with his Captain or 1st mate

'But why's Kaos' higher? Shouldn't Luffy's be more because he's the Captain?' Kaya asks and Kaos shakes his head

'Not exactly, Luffy has fought Alvida, Buggy, Kuro, Krieg and Arlong as well as their crews and with the exception of Alvida and Krieg so have I'

'But that should still mean Luffy should be higher, as he beat up more pirates then you' Usopp adds

'It's because he's more dangerous than rubber boy cause he's fine with killing' Sanji pipes in 'In case you forgot while Luffy took down all those people, Kaos took out both Kuro and Arlong, plus I get the feeling they take Devil Fruits into account with the bounty, so the Special Paramecia class **Suru Suru no mi** , is worth more than the normal Paramecia **Gomu Gomu no mi** ' at this the gang nod in understanding, then Nami hits both of them.

'Idiots! You just had to piss off the marines and now we're wanted by the government'

'Well we're pirates, what did you expect?' Nami opens her mouth to argue but gives up as she literally has no argument.

'There's another problem, with 2 people on board with a price on their heads they'll attract bounty hunters, and with a combined total of 80 million they won't be like Johnny and Yosaku, they'll be real hunters, they'll be good' Zoro states seriously.

'Sounds like an excuse for more training' Kaos teases

'Not an excuse, an opportunity' Zoro replies

 _Foosha Village_

'Did ya hear the news, those boys are wanted men'

'Well will ye look at that, some damn good pirates came out of our tiny little village'

'They'll bring hell down on this village' Mayor Woodslap complains as he walks into Makino's bar and sits by the counter

'So you always say, but you got to admit, they sure look happy' she smiles, still trying to decide where to put her honorary family's wanted posters up, she'll have to move Ace's poster to somewhere that'll fit all 3 that's for sure.

The mayor sighs before nodding 'I guess you're right, and those 2 might just fulfil those crazy plans of theirs' he mumbles, accepting a drink from the still smiling woman.

 _Baratie_

Zeff smiles as he looks at the wanted posters he stuck to the stairs 'Those idiots are really doing it, I hope the boy gets to live out his dream and find IT, as well as a woman who'll actually put up with him' the old pirate grumbles, not even in his head would he admit he was worried about Sanji, though given the small smile on his face he was happy they were all still out there on their adventure.

 _Somewhere on the Grand Line_

Mihawk beaches his little boat with his usual air of disinterest, his reputation (or maybe the huge ass black sword on his back) parting the pirates like the red sea

'Why are you here Hawkeye?' one asks with a shake in his voice

'Calm down, now tell me where your captain is, my business is with him' he commands with his usual even tones, the man nods and runs along, Mihawk following as a steady pace _'Camping out on an island, what a carefree man'_

The lower ranked pirate rushes to where the stronger/more important members were all sitting like his ass was on fire 'BOSS! BOSS!' he yells as he reaches them 'Hawkeye, he's here' he says, then yelps as he realises the man was right behind him and scuttles away

'So what brings a Shichibukai to this island, Drac?' the man asks with a small smile

'I thought you'd be interested in the newest bounties to come out of the East Blue'

One of the man's newer companions snort 'The East Blue's full of weaklings, nobody worth anything would come from there'

Mihawk's lip curls ever so slightly 'I wouldn't be so sure about that' he says, passing the bounties to their boss, who takes one look at them and his jaw drops

Ben pushes his mouth closed before Shanks jumps up and cheers 'Luffy's 1st bounty! And so much too. Kaos you sly bastard out performing your captain, that's not very nice' he laughs and Mihawk smiles

'I thought you'd like that, you never stop talking about them when you have the chance to' he says as if it were unimportant, though it wasn't

'You bet I do, oh men we're celebrating, those kids from Fushou village just broke 80 mill on their 1st bounty. 3 cheers for Luffy and Kaos'

'But sir you were just saying you'd never drink again' one of the pirates points out

'Also wasn't he hung-over a second ago?' Mihawk asks Ben who nods with a chuckle

'That was before I had something to celebrate' Shanks dismisses, then practically bounced in front of the swordsman 'don't think you're getting away that easily Hawkie' he grins 'You need to stay and drink with us'

'I really shouldn't'

'I insist, you're not leaving until I get at least one drink into you'

'Fine, but there better be some good drink on this island' Mihawk grumbles

'Always is Hawkie, for special occasions such as old friends dropping in or seeing younger old friends fulfilling their dreams'

Ben reads through the information on Luffy's bounty 'Hey Yassop, looks like Luffy has your kid on his crew' the 1st mate yells, the sniper immediately running over

'Really? Hm, there might be a lot of Usopps in East Blue, oh why can't there be a front or side on image of him, he has his mother's nose so it should be really easy' Yasop complains

'It's him, you told Luffy about him enough that Luffy would drag him onto the ship of he had to' Lucky Roo teases between bites of his huge slab of meat, the other pirates nodding as he did have a point.

 _Unknown Island, Paradise_

Retrieving updates from the News Coo, the bone white haired guy makes his way to his captain's quarters

'Boss, new bounties from the East Blue, they even beat Noire's 1st bounty by over 10 million, looks like there's gonna be some new blood entering the Line soon' he yells, then spins around as he sees captain and navigator were entwined in bed 'Sorry guys' he mutters with a blush, the bluenette chuckles before pulling himself free from his girlfriend getting out of the bed

'Cen, the bounties' he asks, the boy smiles sheepishly before passing them over 'Interesting, hey love what do you think?' he holds out both to the beauty, who's smirk is almost reptilian

'2 more D's on the waves, what a time to be a pirate' she chuckles, slipping herself out from the covers and reminding Morgan why he always had his blade on his hip when they were off the ship; Noire was a true Grand Line darling, tall and thin with a perky H cup bust.

'True, just like Aunt Grima said: When there's a D around, things sure aren't boring. Makes me glad we're heading in this direction, might meet these guys while we're out and about. Might even have time to stop by Alabasta if we're lucky'

Century laughs before turning glad both his crew mates were at least decent at the moment 'Should I inform our gunner we'll be passing her hometown then?' he asks, watching the captain smile widely

'Yep, best keep the demolition expert of this place happy, stops the mutinies' he jokes, eyes half lidded as Noire runs her long fingers through his hair 'We might even find a new crewmate along the way' he hums, while the silver haired girl rolls her eyes

'Really love, Paradise is nothing compared to the New World…'

'And anyone strong in the New World is a high ranked marine or part of a Yonko's crew' Morgan interrupts 'If the East Blue can produce 2 30mil plus pirates then there could be some surprises in Paradise' he punctures with a kiss which she happily accepts

 _Amazon Lily, Calm Belt_

The door clicks open but the purple haired woman doesn't react, she'd been under house arrest nearly 20 years, long enough she didn't get visitors, least not anyone she actually wanted to see. As she continues her work she spies out the corner of her eye an old woman and a younger one with the overall appearance of having a pole made of kerioseki shoved up her tail hole. The purplette smiles slightly, if it weren't for the fact they were full blood sisters she'd think the black haired woman was a snake neck, ironic given their middle sister's name.

'So darlings, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?' she asks with an air of disinterest, not difficult when her sister always seemed to drain the fun out of the very air around her, she's think it a Devil Fruit power but she was the only sibling who could still swim.

'We thought you'd like to see something, a disturbance in the East Blue' the old woman says, dropping some paper onto her desk. She gives an overdramatic thanks before unrolling the page… and her eyes practically fall out of their sockets

'You know who this is don't you?' she asks, a playful smile crossing her lips ' _He takes after me more than you'd like to admit, not that you ever would have_ ' she thinks, less at the bitch to her left and more the one she has no way to contact

'Of course I do' the taller one scoffs, her haughty demeanour increasing exponentially, much to the younger one's irritation

'Anything worthwhile to tell me, besides the fact he's also a pirate?' she asks, fiddling with her ponytail

The old woman contributes for once 'The other page is his captain, there's already talk of him throughout the East Blue and a little on the Grand Line, seems pretty confident he'll be the next King of the Pirates' the taller woman rolls her eyes as if the concept was laughable, though it was the younger who actually laughs

' _His parents genes, combined with a Monkey for his captain, they'll be here in no time_ ' she thinks before finally releasing 'Sesesese' she hisses before breaking out into full blown cackles ' _Come find me little one, I'd like to see who stands in this generation_ ' her thoughts continue to ramble, the visitors sigh and leave her to her musings, not seeing her watch them with calculating eyes as they lock the door once more, nor the 6 inch crater her bare foot managed to kick into the floor.

He's coming, she could see it, both of them were, she needed to be ready but she always worked well under pressure, and if she couldn't do this simple task in the time it took them to reach this island she wasn't worthy of the name…

 _ **Serpens D. Shaula**_

 _Unknown Location_

'Hey Sabo, we got some big bounties coming out of the East Blue' the blond looks up from under his hat, eyebrows raised in confusion

'Seriously?' he asks, taking the pages and scanning them, a twinge of pain behind his eyes as he does so

'You okay?' the red head asks

Sabo nods 'Yeah Koala, I'm good. Think we should tell the boss, he is in the East Blue at the moment?' she waves it off with a shrug

'Nah he'll be fine, whatever security measures they'll use on these 2 won't catch him, especially not given who he's there meeting' she replies, Sabo nods, but frowns as he looks back at the pages, there was something familiar about those guys he just couldn't place them.

 _Moby Dick, current location unknown_

'Hey Ace, you're brothers are named Luffy and Kaos right yo?' a man with blond hair arranged like a pineapple calls over, having just received the newspaper from the Coo

'Yeah that's them, man do I miss the cry-baby and the crazy sometimes. Why?' asks an energetic, shirtless man wearing a cowboy hat

'They made it, so to speak' Marco answers with a grin, passing it over to Ace who's eyes nearly fall out of his head

'POPS!'

Whitebeard groans, he may be the strongest man in the entire world, but he's really old and likes his naps 'What do you want Ace?' he mumbles sitting up

'My brothers, my youngest said he'd set out when he was 17, he's trying to be the King of the Pirates. Marco just handed me these, my brothers got their first bounties and damn are they big' Ace nearly gushes as he giddily hands them over to the old man, his eyes widen and his brain cuts out for a second

'You never said your brothers were a Monkey and a Serpens' he says flatly, Ace looks confused

'Sorry? Is there something wrong?'

Whitebeard chuckles but shakes his head 'No son, just explains how they're that strong. They'll do good, don't know if the boy is King Material but it'll be a good fight anyway Guraguraguragura' he laughs, knowing things were about to get shaken up pretty soon, and it was going to be a lot of fun to watch

TBC

Well that's it for this week, hope you enjoyed my little interlude.

So yeah might have a running thing that at the end of each arc/saga I'll have a little tally for the Straw Hat bounties, as well as a combined total for the crew itself, in this case I'd place it at the end of Loguetown when they official head for the Grand Line.

1 last thing, most people translate beri to be equal to yen, so I decided to use that to translate Luffy and Kaos' current bounties into euro, simply because it's the one I use, and here we are:

Luffy: €286,520.00

Kaos: €316,680.00


	19. Beginning and End: Welcome to Loguetown

LW: Okay we've made it to Loguetown, might as well do this properly, also while you can use anyone you want for this narration I think Luffy or Rayleigh are the most appropriate:

 _ **Wealth, fame, power, the greatest treasures and the most freedom. The Pirate King. GolD Roger, the man that name describes, before his death by the hands of the marines had these last words 'My fortune is there for the taking but you'll have to find it first. Don't worry I left everything I own in One Piece'. Since that day pirates from all 4 Blues have set sail for the Grand Line, seeking out the One Piece, and the prestigious title of King of the Pirates!**_

LW: Well that's my intro done; surprised it took me 19 chapters to do that. Also one last thing before we start this chapter

Disclaimer: One Piece is owned by Oda, Kaos is mine, several characters throughout the story are my versions of other characters.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – The beginning and the end, Welcome to Loguetown

 _In, out, in, out, in, out_

'What's he doing?' Nami asks, with Loguetown in sight and about 15 minutes away from the she was watching as Kaos sits in Luffy's usually thinking position in a meditative pose. Rather than answering her Luffy asks his own question

'What we got?' he asks smiling, to which the purplette turns and smiles slightly

'4, maybe 5. Buggy was a surprise as well as something that feels familiar but different; Buggy must have found one for his crew since we last met. The problem is I can't get a further read, it's like peering through thick smoke' he frowned at that last part 'But it's a thin veil, feels like if I managed to pierce that shell I'd be walking headfirst into a hurricane'

Luffy nods 'Well time to find out, here we go!' he yells cheerfully, getting everyone's attention

 _A few minutes later_

'Okay, we're just reached the port of Loguetown, everyone know what they're doing?' Nami asks as everyone gathers on deck

'I need to pick up 2 new swords, no way I'm heading to the Grand Line at anything less than my best' Zoro answers with a sigh, hand caressing Wado's hilt

'I'm in charge of food'

'I'll be trying to get some tools to improve my stars and keep Merry up to scratch'

'I'm bringing Kaya to find her some better guns, probably revolvers' Kaos says as he pulls the blond toward him, the girl blushes but giggles none the less

'I want to see where GolD Rogers was executed' Luffy exclaims, rounding off the crew

'Okay, now remember this is our last stop before the Grand Line so grab anything we'll need but also keep an eye out for marines, especially you 2 Wanted idiots' Nami glares at the brothers, still not happy about that

'Yes Mom' the 2 reply flatly, before making a hasty retreat from their navigator's wrath, Kaos pushing Kaya ahead of him in the direction of the nearest weapons shop.

 _Kaos & Kaya_

'Here we are' Kaos grins as they enter, the bell jingling as they did so

'Ah, how may I help you?' the man at the counter asks

'Um, I require 2 revolvers' Kaya answers, the freezes 'you're the one who suggested them, what kind did you say?'

Kaos' smile grows 'Ocelots Miss Kaya, the plan was to deck you out in dual Ocelots' he explains and the shopkeeper scoffs, while these 2 weren't exactly scruffy and the taller one had a fancy cloak they sure didn't look like the sort who could afford an Ocelot, never mind 2, plus they didn't look like or hold themselves the way the marines he usually outfitted do. This means they're either pirates, bounty hunters or mercenaries, something that had been springing up a lot since that pirate crew turned in their Jolly Roger and became a mercenary company or PF as they're called on the Grand Line.

'Really, and how will you be paying for them?' he asks with a slight sneer

 _ **Crash Bang Clatter**_

His eyes widen at the number and variety of blades, firearms and even a few armour pieces the purplette lays on his table

'I was thinking we could see how much these were worth, then use berri for the remainder' Kaos replies with a slasher smile

The man swallows 'Give me a moment to tally this up' he mumbles after retrieving the desired weapons

 _Later_

Thank you for this, I'm sure we'll do business here again if we're ever back in Loguetown' Kaya says with a smile and a slight bow while Kaos gets the door

 _ZZZ pura, pura, pura, ZZZ, pura, pura, pura._

The reflect human freezes and smiles widely 'That what I think it is?' he asks

 _Luffy_

Luffy was a boy of many talents, navigation on land or sea aren't on that list. This is probably how he ended up at the docks when looking for the execution platform… which was in the centre of town.

'I'm here…. But where the hell am I?' he sighs in annoyance before seeing someone how might be able to help.

The man in front of him was tall and sturdily built, short white hair, furred cuffs on his marine jacket that was left open to expose his muscular chest as well as the bandolier of cigars he wore, not counting the 2 in his mouth. He also wore a jute on his back.

'Hey mister, do you know where the execution platform is?' Luffy asks loudly

Smoker's eyebrows raise in surprise, this kid in a straw hat just walks up to him and talks, sure it was kind of nice to see a civilian not on the verge of shitting themselves when they see him walk past, but it had been so long the change was still a shock 'Over that way kid, just follow the smoke' he answers, gruffly, a poof of smoke escapes his cigar and forms a trail to follow

'Luffy grins 'Thanks Mister' he says before running off _'What a nice guy'_

' _Weird kid'_ Smoker thinks before one of his subordinates runs up to him

'Captain Smoker sir! We finally have the bounty posters of _**Mirror Master Kaos**_ and _**Straw Hat Luffy**_ ' he announces, holding the posters up to Smoker's face

' _Hm, that one looks like a psychopath, while the other…_ Shit! _'_ Smoker curses as he turns and heads in the direction Luffy ran off 'Hey kid, get back here!' he yells, the other marines follow in confusion

 _Zoro_

Zoro stepped into Loguetown with one goal in mind: replacing the 2 of his swords Mihawk shattered back at the Baratie. The problems were he had no idea where he should go to buy swords and lacked the navigational ability to get to it even if he knew where he was meant to go. It was because of this he ended up nearly walking into 2 things ganging up on a dark blue haired girl, catching the tail end of the conversation about how this had something to do with their boss so Zoro assumed she had done something to piss these guys off, as seemed to happen a lot with his own crew, captain most of all. When they tried to attack her though Zoro reached for his last sword, but the girl draws her own and takes them down with skill Zoro hadn't seen in a while

' _The chick's good, if I had time I'd probably try ask for a spar with her'_ he thinks with a small smile, just before the bluenette trips over her own feet and falls, glasses bouncing off the cobbles (oddly enough this reminded me of something that was said about Zoro himself, he has great battle awareness or whatever you'd call it, but he has really shitty special awareness or navigational ability outside of combat)

Not seeing a reason not to, Zoro walks over and picks up the glasses as the clearly half blind girl gropes around for them on the ground 'Here to go Mi…' Zoro freezes as she looks up in the direction of his voice: without the glasses, sure there was the obvious age difference but taking that into account she was a dead ringer (opps) for… ' _Kuina! But how?_ ' he thinks, the glasses slipping from his limp fingers, only the click when they once more hit the ground again brining him out of it 'Sorry, here are your glasses' he tries again, looking anywhere but her face so as not to get distracted

'Thanks, it's Tashigi by the way. So what are you in Loguetown for?' she asks after introducing herself, Zoro accepting the hand and nod

'Looking for swords' he answers, vague but direct which actually described his goal in the first place

'Oh, there's a good store just for that over there' Tashigi points in the direction Zoro had just come from, trying to avoid cursing he nods and expresses his thanks to the bluenette and walks over to the store. When he goes in there was a man with a bright red nose snoring on the counter, so Zoro rings the bell till he starts to move.

'Oh hello what can I do for you?' the man asks a little groggy but at least attempting to be friendly

'I'm looking for 2 swords and I have 100,000 beri to spend' Zoro states, glad disappointed at how little money he'd managed to save, but there was no way he was going to borrow from his witch of a navigator, especially not with the loan shark smile she'd been giving him the since they decided to stop in Loguetown.

Ippon-Matsu scowls, great another scint bastard 'Go through the barrel over there, they're all about 50,000 beri each' he grumbles, but freezes when he sees the sword on Zoro's hip _'Could it be? A ranked sword in the hands of this nobody._ Hey can I get a look at that sword of yours?' he asks trying not to blow it

Zoro shrugs 'Sure I guess' he says handing it over.

Ippon-Matsu unsheathes Wado and practically explodes inside ' _Okay, keep it cool, you can do this._ This is a pretty nice sword you got there, interested in selling? I'll give you 200,000 beri for it'

'What! Are you kidding me?'

'Okay, I'll give you 250, no 300, this sword for 500,000!'

Zoro groans 'Just give it back here, I'm not selling' he grunts, grabbing the sword.

'Stobourn bastard, I'll give you 650,000…. No wait, final offer, 800,000 beri'

The shop bell distracts them, as does the new customer 'Hello? Is my _**Shigure**_ done?' Tashigi calls as she enters, then her eyes light up when she sees the sword 'Is that? Could it be?'

' _No! She's going to ruin everything!'_

' _What's she talking about?'_ Zoro thinks as Tashigi flicks through a pocket book she had on her

She grins widely 'There it is, the _**Wado Ichimonji**_ , O Wazamono grade, it's worth at least 10 million beri' she explains while the store owner steams

Zoro nods 'Makes sense, but I'm still not going to sell it' he says, returning it to its sheath on his hip 'By the way, if you were coming here anyway why didn't you walk with me?' the swordsman asks curious

'Oh seeing you knocked a thought free in my head, reminding me I had to get back my Shigure from this place. Speaking of…' she didn't get to finish as the sword was roughly tossed to her

'There you go ye loud mouth and don't come back, you just cost me a lot of money you idiot' Ippon-matsu grumbles, Tashigi flailing with Shigure and crashes into a stand holding more swords 'Well as you heard you got a pretty good sword, shame it's in the hands of someone who won't apriciate it. There are a large collection of barrel swords for you to choose from for 50,000 a piece, take any 2 you like'

'Asshole, what's his problem' Zoro grumbles as he approaches the barrels, then spots Tashigi was still in the shop 'Hey, you've got quite the eye for swords; want to help pick some for me?' he asks, the bluenette blinks before answering

'But you already have a sword, a really good one at that'

'Yeah, but I use Santoryu, one isn't going to cut it' he answers

'3 sword style, like that pirate hunter, Roronoa Zoro?' Tashigi asks to which he nods 'He's known around the East Blue for his skills, but he's not a good person. A man who uses his swords like that is one without honour. It's messed up and makes real swordsmen look bad, pirates and bounty hunters as swords masters, it doesn't make any sense' she sighs

Zoro chuckles to himself 'The world is always messed up, even in a place as quiet as the East Blue' he replies, before freezing for a second and pulling out the sword, getting the other occupants attention

Tashigi gulps 'That's one of the Kitetsu swords, they're all at least Wazamono grade, what's it doing here?'

'Because it's cursed' Zoro answers before the owner could 'That's what it says in that book of yours, that all the Kitetsu blades are cursed I presume' she looks back to her booklet and nods 'Great, I'll take it' Zoro declares, shocking both the others

'I can't sell you that sword. The bloodlust of the Kitetsus have drove so many others to madness and a gruesome demise if I sell you that sword and it kills you I might as well have killed you myself' he yells before getting bonked on the head

'Just let him buy the sword' the woman behind him argues, though Zoro ignores them as he unsheathes Sandai Kitetsu.

'Let's see which is stronger, the Kitetsu curse, or my good luck' he grins widely as he tosses the sword into the air, then holds out his arms in its path.

Tashigi and Ippon-matsu neatly pass out when the blade tilts around his arm and imbeds itself to the hilt in the floor

'Like I said, I'll take it' He smiles, then turns to Tashigi who was just getting back up 'Can you pick out another for me?

'Um, sure'

'Wait here!' Ippon-matsu yells before running into the back of the store, quickly returning with something hidden under a tarp, which he removes to show a black handle and sheathed katana

'It has a black lacquer finish and an uneven temper pattern. My shop is small, so this is the best sword I have. This is _**Yubashiri**_ ' Ippon-Matsu explains

'I can't afford…'

'It's for free, same as _**Sandi Kitetsu**_. I'm sorry for trying to rip you off earlier, you're a true swordsman and that is where a weapon like this should be' he explains, Zoro not fully understanding but knowing enough to smile and accept the offer. It was then he noticed Tashigi staring at him

'What?'

'Nothing, it's just seeing such high grade swords, it shouldn't affect me, 1 step forward and another step back' she says with a deep sigh

Zoro raises an eyebrow 'What does that mean?'

'My dream is to collect all the Wazamono swords, and at least see all the Saijo O Wazamono blades in action'

Zoro chuckles 'Well if you want these swords I'm not giving them up without a fight. Also why give up at the end with just seeing the very best swords? I mean Mihawk's blade is one for sure but still'

'It's not Yoru that's the problem, even if the thought of fighting Mihawk makes my knees knock, it's another blade that has me state just to see them in battle rather than obtain them. It's a cursed blade like your Kitetsu, but while that one corrupts, drives insane and eventually kills unworthy wielders, this one will kill you just from touching it. Oh just give me a moment…' she flicks through the booklet once more, stopping on the right page and showing it to Zoro who pales 'There it is, the _**Hebi no Oni no mi**_ , legendary blade of the Pirate **Mayhem D. Apophis** , Captain of the _**Demon Eye**_ pirates' she explains, pointing to the Khopesh at the top of the page 'Since his death neither the blade nor his Devil fruit have been seen or even whispered about, but I'm going to find it when it eventually does reappear. After all a sword like that will find someone who's worthy to wield it eventually'

' _Shit'_

TBC

LW: So, now we know, Kaos' weird, shape shifting sword is the legendary _Hebi no Oni no mi_ , you'd think it was something he'd tell us but oh well Tashigi seems like the kind of person who would know this kind of thing. Also yeah it's not a canon great sword of One Piece, but it is this world version of Serpentello, a blade from other works of mine.

Also yeah Tashigi's plan/dream/goal of taking back all the Wazamono+ swords from criminals is okay on paper but like Zoro says, Mihawk's Yoru is on Tashigi's hunting list (because he's a Warlord, and therefore he must technically be a pirate) … so she's at least 7 kinds of fucked.

If anyone's curious 100,000 beri/yen is €755, or at least it was when I checked it on Google.

 **Straw Hat Arsenal updates:**

 _Zoro_

Wado Ichimonji: O Wazamono grade, sword of his childhood friend Kuina.

Sandi Kitetsu: Wazamono grade, weakest of the 3 legendary cursed swords of Kitetsu.

Yubashiri: Ryo Wazamono grade.

 _Kaya_

Twin Ocelot revolvers: Don't know anything about guns; the name is a reference I hope some people get.


	20. Mysterious beauty

LW: More Loguetown stuff, and we finally start heading toward the Grand Line.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Mysterious beauty, remnant from Luffy's past

Loguetown – Town Square

'I finally found it' Luffy grins as he stands at the bottom of the execution platform ' _But how do I get up there?_ ' he wonders, not seeing any kind of ladder or steps to get up there. Then an idea comes to mind and he laughs before getting into position…

 **Gum Gum Spring**

…and jumping right to the top of the platform

'Well that was easy' he grins before turning and looking out into the square 'So this is what the King of the Pirates saw before he died. Nice'

Unfortunately Luffy could only be left to his own devices for long as soon enough a man started yelling at him from far below

'Hey you, get down from there!'

'But why?' Luffy calls back with a frown

'You are standing on a execution platform that belongs to the World Government. Now get down from there right now!'

'That's not an answer. But okay, as long as you say the magic words, oh and smile' Luffy replies, grinning as always

'I don't have time for your games, get down here before I arrest you' the man goes to take a step toward Luffy when he gets slammed in the back of the head by a large blunt object (hey that was once a description of it's wielder… Yohohohoho!)

'No one cares what you have to say' the woman growls before looking up to the Straw Hat 'Hello Luffy, we meet again' Luffy blinks and adopts his other default look of confusion (His default expressions are happy and confused if anyone cares) 'Oh come now Luffy, do you honestly expect me to believe you of all people… have forgotten this face?' she tilts her head, removing the shadows from her face caused by her cowboy hat

'She's absolutely gorgeous'

'An unparalleled beauty'

'I want to have her babies' (Couldn't resist given the lovestruck are men and women in the anime)

Luffy strokes his chin while trying to think 'I don't remember you and I'm usually good with faces. Are you sure we've met before?'

The woman chuckles 'Oh we've met, I'll never forget it. After all you were the first person who ever struck me' her statement causes the nearby area to turn hostile toward Luffy who gulps

'What are you talking about, I never hit you!' he yells defensively

'When you struck me with your passionate fist… it felt good' she smiles, causing the crowd to revert to it's love struck daze once more 'Every man I knew before was intimidated to the point of basically being a meek puppy, but you, you gave it you all, and it makes my insides burn with an intense heat only you can quench' her hips sway and she squirms, causing several people to faint and Luffy to revert to confusion now he was no longer being death glared by everyone

'Tell me, what do you believe to be the most beautiful creature in all the East Blue?' she asks with a grin (Good thing she said East Blue not the world, cause Hancock's still better, Robin too :D )

'THAT WOULD BE YOU!' was the unanimous declaration

'Exactly. There isn't a man alive who isn't enraptured by my beauty, but I prefer them strong, like you. I'm going to make you mine Luffy, my little rubber man'

The straw hat captain shivers 'This is so weird, who the Hell are you?'

'You still don't remember?' she asks, an air of both annoyance and … disappointment was beginning to be felt in her tone. Luckily the mystery was solved by half of a wandering duo

'Hello Alvida' Kaos greets with a smirk, which the beautiful mace wielder returns

'While you're not the handsome pirate I hoped would remember me, hello again Mr. Tall, dark and creepy, and friend' she tacks on after noticing Kaya in his shadow

'Hey Kaos, where's Alvida?' Luffy yells 'Is she invisible? I know she's not behind the pretty lady because she's like 3 times her size' Kaos face palms, Kaya groans and Alvida barely resists the urge to toss her mace at his face (though a part of her gushes at the fact Luffy called her pretty)

'I'M ALVIDA YOU TWIT!' she yells loudly, giving Luffy the needed memory trigger to believe her, she yelled a lot the last time they met 'I ate the _**Suba Suba no mi**_ , since we last met, so now I'm silky smooth and even if it cost me my freckles I'm even more beautiful then I was before' she smiles as she spreads her arms and pushes back the cloak revealing she was dressed in a bikini top, loose fitting pants and sandals, showing her sexy, hourglass figure to it's fullest, several people in the crowd swooning and fainting.

'Damn it' Kaya mumbles, getting the attention of a few of the people 'I was hoping to get some tips from her on getting my skin as smooth as her, but there's no point if it was Devil Fruit related' she sighs sadly

'I'm sure I can still give you some tips, you won't be my level but your skin will be really smooth and silky' Alvida offers then attention is brought to a loud cough 'What!?'

'Did you people forget about me?' Buggy yells, causing Kaya to blush and Kaos to laugh 'Damn you, men take them down!'

Before he could react Luffy finds himself trapped in a stockade by Cabaji, while both Kaya and Kaos found guns and blades pressing against their necks and ribs, preventing them from interfering.

' _Well shite!'_

 _Meanwhile_

Zoro walked blindly around Loguetown (as usual) happy to once more have the weight of 3 swords on his hip. It was his random wandering that led to running into Sanji, Nami and Usopp, the blond chef … carrying a giant fish?

' _The fuck?'_

'Zoro there you are, well I can see you've got all your shopping done' Nami says as they approach

'Yep. Where'd you get the fish?' he asks

'Won it in a cooking contest' Sanji answers, the others nodding as they'd been there (I've seen the 4kids version of that episode. Skipping it entirely seemed like a good idea)

'Um, okay then…'

'RUN! THE BUGGY PIRATES ARE ATTACKING!' was yelled from a crowd fleeing what everyone bar Zoro assumed to be from the town square… where the execution platform was.

'Damn it, not those bozos again' Zoro complains

'And given our crew those 2 idiots will be right in the middle of it' Sanji sighs, lighting a cigarette

'Which means Kaya is there too' Usopp yelps, spurring the love cook into action

'Get the ship ready to leave, we'll get the captain, the nutter and Kaya-chan' he tosses the fish to Usopp and alongside Zoro run in the other direction to the crowd, towards the pirates.

 _Back with the others_

'And now Straw Hat Luffy will be flashily executed for being a pain in the ass and making me very angry! This is a joyous occasion so be merry boys' Buggy yells down from the top of the platform, the members of his crew not keeping Luffys companions immobile acting like idiots.

'Neat, I always wanted to see an execution' Luffy says with a grin

'Well you're about to have a front row seat' Buggy replies, smirking down at him

'The wheels turn and Luffy begins to panic 'What! No not me!' he yelps

'Yes you, time to end it all! Flashy demise courtesy of the great Buggy the Clown.'

'No stop, please spar my life' Luffy says, but his heart doesn't seem in it

'Why would I spar your life? Anyway, look out there Straw Hat; you have quite a big audience awaiting your demise, any last words?' Buggy spreads his arms and Luffy puffs up his cheeks in concentration as well as simply filling his lungs to their fullest

' **LISTEN! I AM THE MAN WHO'LL BE KING OF THE PIRATES!'** Luffy loudly declares, Kaos smiles widely, with Kaya and Alvida's smaller but still present

'No chance rubber brat. Now, on to the main event' Buggy says, raising his sword

'Stop the execution!'

'Hmm?' Buggy stops and turns in the direction of the voice, finding Zoro and Sanji just entered the square

'Sanji! Zoro!' Luffy cheers, Kaya's smile turns hopeful, while Kaos' twists into a wide grin

Zoro chuckles as he unsheathes Wado 'Damn idiot, I knew all your antics were going to bite you in the ass one day'

'Wow, what's with all the weirdos? Starting a side show or something' Sanji adds 'Well guess we'll have to beat our way over to them and rescue our dumbass of a captain eh Zoro?'

'Way ahead of you' the green haired swordsman replies, having already pulled out all 3 swords and running towards the Buggy pirates

'Damn moss head!' Sanji growls before joining in 'Quit hogging all the action'

'Get them men!' Buggy yells once more, his crew charging straight for the cook and swordsmen and were beaten down quite badly.

As well as an actual assistance, Zoro and Sanji's arrival and attack were the perfect distraction for Kaya and Kaos to reach for their weapons, Kaya seemed unsure as to her methods as some were simply kneecapping while others had much more lethal hits, while Kaos was simply hacking away indiscriminately at the Buggy pirates, as well as a few he punched or kicked through nearby walls.

But even with all their skill and strength, Buggy was still inches from their captain, and they never really stood a chance of doing much more than distracting him.

'Guys, thanks for trying, but I'm dead' Luffy says surprisingly with a smile on his face

 _ **Zap**_

Just before Buggy could remove Luffy's head the entire platform was hit by a colossal lightning strike causing the structure to collapse in on itself.

 _Meanwhile … 8 or so arcs away_

Urk, fucking allergies

'Are you alright Enaru-sama?

The blond laughs 'Of course I'm fine I'm a fucking God'

'But sir…'

Shut up bubble boy' he mutters, shooting a bolt of lightning at the man

 _Back in the East Blue_

'Wow, that was intense' Luffy says as he stands up, a little sooty but otherwise unharmed

 **BANG**

Cabaji falls to the ground, his sword not far behind as Alvida hefts her mace onto her shoulder

'So Luffy-kun, any openings on this crew of yours?'

'Sure, welcome aboard Alvida' Luffy grins and shakes her hand, shocking her as everything slips off her now… except the rubber boy it seems.

'As much fun as this has been maybe we should leave before that storm traps us on this island' Kaos deadpans, the others looking up at the darkening sky and collectively think _Fuck_ before running at full tilt towards the harbour

'Hey, get back here you bastards!' a mildly charred Buggy yells after them, just before the marines started to appear from every alcove

 **Bara Bara Cart**

'Bomb engine, fire!' Buggy yells as the clown car shoots forward after the Straw hats and Alvida

'Crap we're never going to get away' Sanji groans as the marines start gaining on them, as well as the Buggy pirates

'I have an idea, Kaya, grab Alvida's cloak, or arms round her neck whichever actually works' Kaos yells back, starting to spin Hebi while they run, the 2 females look to each other before Alvida shrugs and Kaya hops onto her back

'Now what?' she asks, gulping when the purplette grins widely

Kaos hooks his blade into one of Alvida's belt loops and yanks, causing the smooth human to fly at full speed towards the docks, the mace wielder fearfully forcing her eyes to remain open in order to ensure she didn't crash into anything, using her mace as a simple form of steering, meanwhile Kaya had no such necessities so thought it much better use of her time was to squeeze her eyes shut, clench her fists into the cloak and scream her lungs out.

 **White Out**

It was probably a good thing they did it though as smoke began to blow into the square and somehow entrap the Buggy pirates, including the clown himself.

'That was helpful' Luffy chuckles but keeps running so as not to get caught by the smoke himself

'I don't have time for you small fry' Smoker growls, his arms fully transformed into a dense smoke 'Fire!' he yells, the marines shooting nets into the smoke to capture the pirates. Once they were secured he turned to one of his subordinates 'I'm going after the straw hat, get me the Smog Hog'

'Which way is the sea?'

'I don't know, the rain makes it difficult to tell'

'Like you had any idea where it was before that?'

'Nope'

'There they are!' the marines yelling cut the straw hats little argument as it gave them more important things to do, such as run faster.

'Damn these guys don't give up, think we should stop and fight them?' Zoro asks

'We don't have the time, that storm's coming in fast' Sanji replies, then goes gaga when he sees a woman standing in their path 'And who is this marvellous beauty?'

Zoro looks up and groans, he'd hoped Impon-matsu's shop would be the last he saw of Tashigi but nope she had to show up when they were in a hurry to leave, and if the stony expression on her face was anything to go on, she was pissed off.

'Give me those swords!' Zoro blinks at Tashigi's demand 'You heard me, swords like those should not be in the hands of pirate scum like you'

Zoro actually laughs 'Like I told you before, I'm not going to give them up without a fight' he reaches for his swords, but only manages to draw 2 of them before he had to block the bluenette's strike. _'Well it seems she is even better than I thought she was'_ Zoro thinks as he battles the sword otaku marine, reaching a stand still but unsure if he could beat her with only 2 swords. Taking a quick backstep he moves Wado to his mouth and draws Kitetsu, the tables turn quickly and he swiftly disarms Tashigi, yubishiri embedded in the wall inches from her neck 'You were never getting these swords from me' he says with a small sigh before sheathing them one by one and beginning to walk away

'Why didn't you kill me? It's because I'm a girl isn't … Ow!' Tashigi groans as Zoro hits her with the flat of his sword

'Idiot! Being a girl has nothing to do with it, if you were as bad as you think you are I wouldn't have needed all 3 swords to do it

I've only lost to 2 people in my life, one was Mihawk, the other was Kuina, she was my best friend and the 2nd best swordsman I've ever met'

 _With Luffy, Kaos and Sanji_ (having skirted around Zoro and Tashigi's fight and continued running)

'There it is, I can see the harbour' Luffy cheers

'It wasn't right you know, letting Zoro fight a lady like that' Sanji grumbles, only to get head smacked by the flat of Kaos' khopesh

'Nobody cares, besides she attacked him'

'Still, you should never hurt a woman'

Kaos smirks very slightly 'I'll be sure to inform Alvida your balls are available for target practice Sesese' he laughs, until he sees what's right in front of them: Captain Smoker on a motorcycle _'FUCK!'_

'Straw Hat Luffy, Mirror Master Kaos, together in one place. Nice of you pirates to make my job easier for a change' Smoker says gruffly as he gets off his bike.

'Sanji, get moving, we'll be right behind you' Luffy states, his hat falling over his eyes while Kaos pulls out hebi with a smile. The cook looks ready to protest, but considering his captain's stubbornness it would be easier to move the Red Line so did as he was told.

'I highly doubt that' Smoker growls, his arms already beginning to lose shape and become smoke

 **White Out**

The marine captain's smoke wrapped around Luffy's body, the rubber captain flailing uselessly in the air. The only reason it didn't catch the elder pirate was because it missed when he sped forward, trying either distract or damage the marine captain… only for the blade to pass harmlessly through his body

'Shit!'

'How'd he do that?' Luffy asks

Smoker scoffs 'I ate the _**Moku Moku no mi**_ , allowing me to transform my body into smoke whenever I want. And you can't hurt smoke' he smiles around his cigars, tossing Luffy into a wall before launching a smoke fist into Kaos' gut

 **White Blow**

'Had enough pirates?' Smoker asks, both don't reply, just pull themselves to their feet. Luffy rushing at him before firing off a **gum gum gattling,** which while capable of pushing Smoker back slightly didn't seem to actually be hurting the man

'That's really gross' Luffy grimaces, seeing his fist embedded in Smoker's face, the marine looking only mildly annoyed by the intrusion, but he's always looked like that so it probably had nothing to do with the fist in his face.

 **White Blow**

The smoke slams into Luffy, then proceeds to pin him to the wall.

'Hm _, so his devil fruit makes him untouchable… I wonder just how far that extends_ ' the 1st mate wonders as he wills his hands to shift, his reflect armour forming as well as lengthening his nails to about 3 inches.

Kaos slices the smoke with his chrome coloured, clawed hand, a tuft of fur appearing for just a second before fading back into smoke. However it was enough for Smoker to release a hiss and recall his arms, freeing Luffy from his hold

[Given later examination, even though he did manage to draw blood it was basically a paper cut, so it was just shock that someone could cut him since eating his logia fruit that had Smoker let go, that and reflexive recoil, like when you stub your toe or burn yourself]

'Okay, now we run!' Luffy yells, pained and a little annoyed at how badly Smoker was kicking their asses

'Oh no you don't, you're not entering the Grand Line as long as I have anything to say about it' Smoker growls, reaching for the Jute on his back, but is stopped when someone grabs his arm

'It seems you don't have a say anymore' the gravely voice says with slight amusement

Smoker's eyes narrow 'You!' he snarls, looking back at the man, smirking under his cloak, diamond tattoos along the left side of his face 'The government will soon have you head just like theirs'

Dragon smirks 'I don't think so' he whispers then looks at the confused but retreating straw hats 'So long boys' was mumbled before nodding his head to his companion

An emerald green whirlwind tore through the island, among other things separating the pirates from the marines, destroying the marine's cannons and blowing the straw hat crew in the direction of their ship, Kaos and Luffy gripping hard onto their hats to keep them on their head rather than ending up at the bottom of the sea. As quickly and as strangely as it began the wind stopped, the storm returning to it's previous level.

As Smoker pulls himself to his feet (Dragon managing to sneak away in the chaos as usual) Tashigi runs up to him 'Captain, the straw hats have gotten to their ship, it's gone' she grips her sword tensely, Smoker can see losing to Roranoa has shaken her, and angered her.

'We're going after them' Smoker growls through his cigars, Tashigi surprised he was including her

'Well it looks like I showed up just in time' Smoker groans internally, remembering that alongside Straw Hat's bounties was a memo that said with an 80 million beri crew in East Blue they would be sending another Captain to assist, he just wished they'd told him it was going to be Nylock Lucina, a woman who unfortunately prescribed to Sakazuki's ' _ **Absolute Justice**_ ' world view, while he more closely followed Alkoji's case by case determination, he would just never refer to his own world view as ' _ **Lazy Justice**_ ' though.

[Fun Fact: Lucina's a Grand line/ New World born 32 year old, 10ft tall and an E-cup, because I said so really. Also because the further into the Grand Line you go the bigger everything is, at least given the way Oda draws the girls in the manga ;)]

Before Smoker can really formulate a response/greeting to his fellow captain, one of his men ran up to him to report 'Captains, the Straw Hats got away and they appear to have taken Iron Mace Alvida with them'

'So, that's 3 Devil Fruit users on that crew' Lucina sneers which surprises Tashigi; sure DF powers give the pirates an unfair advantage, but they had kerioseki and DF users of their own, usually the highest ranked members of a group, such as Captain Smoker himself in this branch as well as the current 3 admirals and the Fleet Commander (Hi seagull hat guy, knew I'd get to mention you eventually). Then again from what she'd heard the younger marine Nylock always had a scowl on her face, ironic given her little (in age and size) brother's moniker, and Vice Admiral Nylock's kind and approachable nature.

Smoker nods 'Men, ready a ship, I'm heading into the Grand Line after those pirates'

On the Going Merry

'Ow' the boys groan, landing heavily when they hit the Merry's deck

'You're alive!' Nami says, sighing in relief

'And all here, that'll really piss off Smoker' Alvida smirks

'Hey, what's she doing here?' Usopp finally gets to ask,

'She asked to join the crew, I said yes. Anyone got a problem with that?' Luffy asks in response, Sanji clearly having no complaints if his heart eyes were any indication, while Alvida's large mace had the coward zipping his lips, to the amusement of both her, Zoro and Kaos.

'Guys I think we should do something to mark the occasion, after all you don't enter the Grand Line everyday' Sanji says once they were far enough from Loguetown the marine's wouldn't be bothering them for at least a while

'Okay'

To being King of the Pirates! And finding the One Piece

To understanding the Devil Fruits

To be the world's greatest swordsman

To draw a map of the world

To become a brave warrior of the sea

To be a great doctor

To find the All Blue

To be the most beautiful Heavy Hitter

As one, the straw hat crew raised their legs before slamming them down on the barrel, shattering it into splinters

'Here we go, everyone. Onward to the Grand Line!' Luffy shouts from the lambs head of the Going Merry, the others smiling, feeding on his enthusiasm

ADVENTURE!

LW: Well that's the end of the East Blue Saga, Grand Line soon, but first I have a very special chapter next :D

1st Logia (well 1st 2 :D) and as expected Luffy and Kaos get their asses kicked. Dragon gets to be awesome, and a new captain shows up to cause problems for the pirates in the future.

 _Techniques / abilities_

Alvida – Eater of the Suba Suba no mi/ Smooth Smooth fruit

Smoker – Eater of the Moku Moku no mi / Smoke Smoke fruit

 **White Out** : Smoker produces a thick smoke which he uses to ensnare his opponent(s).

 **White Blow** : He shoots the smoke at his enemy, slamming directly into them. It can easily transition into _**White Out**_ , but didn't in this case at least.

Buggy

 **Bara Bara Cart** : I have literally no idea how to explain this shit. Somehow he becomes a cart and uses a bomb as an engine/propulsion system.

Seriously at least what Alvida did in the anime is understandable, super smooth skin means she can basically jet ski along any smooth surface.

 **Straw Hat Bounty:**

Monkey D. Luffy – 38,000,000 beri / €286,520

Serpens D. Kaos – 42,000,000 beri / €316,680

Alvida – 5,000,000 beri / €38,200

Current total bounty – 85,000,000 beri / € 649,400


	21. Origin of the Straw Hat

LW: Okay so here it is, a flashback chapter O_O! Yeah it's taken me 21 chapters what took the anime 4 episodes, but we finally get Luffy (and Kaos) origin story… or at least the 1st part.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Origin of the Straw Hat

 _Dawn Island – Fushio village (Makino's Bar)_

'You gotta take me with you on your next adventure Shanks' the boy pleads, while the red head in a straw hat laughs

'Yeah right, like you could be a pirate'

'See kid, you may be a great swimmer and all, but it take a lot more than that to be a pirate' Yassop argues

'But I'm a great fighter too. My punches are as strong as pistol shots' an 8 year old Luffy boasts as he sits by the bar, the man beside him chuckles lightly, pushing his old straw hat out of his eyes

'Really, a pistol you say? That's impressive. Here have a drink on me'

'Yay!' Luffy cheers, gulping down the juice as the pirates start laughing

'Ha ha, only a kid drinks juice' the red head wheezes between laughs

'Shut up asshole!' Luffy screams back angrily

'Relax Monkey, just finish your juice' and amused voice purrs and Shank's attention is drawn to the other kid in the bar: pale and bony, if it weren't his notably prepubescent voice and confirmation from Makino he'd think the kid was at least 13 rather than the 10 that was the purplette's actual age. He was Kaos, Luffy's big brother, or good as given they'd been raised together as such, since Garp practically dropped them on Makino's doorstep as a baby and toddler respectively many years back.

Suddenly the door was broken off it's hinges, a scruffy looking gang of men enter the building

'We're mountain bandits, but we're not here to wreck the place, provided you give us all the booze you've got' their leader orders

'I'm sorry but we're fresh out' Makino answers, partly apologetic, and partly worried

'Then what are all these guys drinking? Juice?' Higuma yells, pointing at the clearly intoxicated pirates all around him

'Well he is' Kaos mutters, waving his hand in Luffy's direction and getting punched in the ribs because of it, though not for self-preservation reasons, he just didn't want people to know he was drinking juice

'No, but they did drain me dry'

Shanks nods before reaching behind him 'Sorry about that, but here's an unopened bottle. I hope this helps'

Higuma sneers and smashes the bottle with his cutlass

'One bottle ain't going to do, I'm a wanted man with 8 million beri for my head'

[HAHAHAHAHA! That's cute, need I remind you that in the last month Luffy's bounty jumped up to 1.5 BILLLION! And this guy thinks 8 mill makes him some kind of badass… okay in the East Blue where the average is 3 I'll admit its okay, but it's nothing special]

Shanks clearly as the same thoughts as the brackets above as he didn't even react to the bandit's threat 'Oh no. Now the floor's all wet' he whines, the reaches down for what remains of the bottle 'Sorry about the mess Makino, you got a rag back there I can borrow?'

'It's fine Shanks I'll clean it up'

 _ **Smash**_

Higuma clearly didn't like being ignored as he proceeded to destroy the entire counter, knocking its contents all over the floor

'Seeing as you like to clean so much, might as well give you a worthwhile job' he then sighs and turns to go 'Move it men, if there's no sake there's no point in sticking around this backwater little town' he grunts as he walks out the door.

Once all the bandits had left the pirate's erupt into laughter, even the currently soaked Shanks

'He's got you good captain' Yassop laughs, Lucky Roo nodding around his mutton

'What the Hell was that?' Luffy yells angrily 'You should have fought back, what kind of pirates are you?'

Shanks laughs 'Luffy, sometimes it's just not worth fighting against some guy being a dick over booze, it's pointless'

Luffy growls and sits with a huff, his eyes flicked over to a swirly blue fruit in a medium sized chest, along side a smaller silver and swirly fruit ' _Hmm?_ '

'Hey Luffy, it you stress eat like that you'll become even more of an anchor' Shanks jokes until he sees the swirls on the food he's eating ' _Oh no please not that_ ' he thinks before running over 'What are you eating?' Luffy gulps, his face pale _'Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!'_

'Um…'

'Cough it up Luffy, cough it up now!' Shanks orders as he shakes the kid upside down… right until his neck stretches and his face hits the floor

'Ahh!'

'Luffy do you have any idea what you've done?'

'Nope'

'You've eaten one of the Devil Fruits, so now you can't ever swim again'

'And if you eat another you'll explode!'

'Not helping Yassop' Ben grunts at the sniper

'Can't Swim? Explode?!' Luffy yells in panic

'Yes, you ate the Gomu Gomu no mi, so your entire body now has the properties of rubber, you're a rubber boy now kid'

'Really?' Luffy sits there for a moment before he sticks his fingers in the corners of his mouth and pulls them back into a wide grin. He then releases his hold, his face snapping back to it's normal shape 'Awesome!' he cheers

 _Later, back home_

Luffy gasps 'Is that?'

'Yes, it's another of Captain Shanks' Devil Fruits' Kaos says with a wide grin

'Are you sure about this Kaos? Weird powers in exchange for never being able to swim' he asks

'Well I never could swim very well in the first place, might as well have an excuse' Kaos answers with a shrug and a childish grin

'Okay then' Luffy smirks back before frowning 'You do know these things taste awful right?'

Kaos grimaces 'And it's not exactly a good idea to eat a lime straight in the first place'

'This is going to suck to be you, shishishi'

Fushou Village the next day

'Mayor! The mountain bandits have Luffy!' Makino yells as she runs into Woodslap's office, the man gulps and follows her quickly to where Higuma was kicking the crap out of the small boy, reaching them just as Kaos got tossed back by one of the bandits.

'You shouldn't have opened your mouth kid, nobody who's pissed me off has lived to tell the tale' Higuma growls, drawing his sword

'Please stop, don't kill the boy. I don't know what he's done and I don't plan to fight you over it, but I'll do anything so long as you spare the poor, foolish boy's life' Woodslap pleads, falling to his knees as he does so

Higuma smirks 'At least some people understand the way of the world, but I must decline, this brat's already made he angry, so he's got to go'

'You bastards!' Luffy yells from under the bandit's boot

'No'

'Stop! Please'

'So this is where everyone is' Makino jumps as Shanks and his crew appear behind her 'Hey Luffy, I thought you said your punches were strong as pistols' he chuckles

'Not now Shanks' Luffy chokes

'You should go, before something bad happens to you. But incase you're just slow as well as weak I have just the man to deliver the message' Shanks doesn't even flinch when a pistol is pressed to his temple, in fact he smirks just a little

'Now you've drawn your pistol are you willing to use it?' he asks calmly

'What?'

'Guns aren't for making threats they're for action. You draw one…'

 **BANG** _**splat**_ _Gulp_

'…someone is going down' Shanks finishes as the bandit dies due to Lucky Roo shooting him in the face

'You bastard, you're dead!'

'These guys fight dirty'

'Dirty?'

'We never claimed to be saints or anything, we're pirates' Ben adds

'Shut up, we just want the kid, so stay out of it' one of the bandit's yell, but is ignored by the pirates

'Listen very closely here. You can pour booze on me, drop food on me, even spit on me and I'll probably just laugh it off. But you harm a friend of mine, you'll pay for it regardless of your reason, and I will make sure you do' Shanks' eyes were cold and serious, sending chills down everyone's spines

Higuma laughs 'You're going to make us pay? Well men, kill these pansies'

Ben sighs and steps forward 'I'll handle this boss, shouldn't take to long' he then proceeds to beat the bandits with his rifle, not even bothering to shot them, just using the weapon like an improvised club.

'Damn it all, kill the brats so we can leave' Higuma yells, one of his men rushing at Kaos with his sword, the kid tenses, before his arms loses all it's colour and gains a reflective, silver sheen to it

' _Damn brats, looks like they both decided to steal Devil Fruits from me'_ Shanks internally grumbles

 _ **Gurk**_

Everyone stood there in shock, Kaos most of all as his chrome coloured limb cleaves through the blade and imbeds itself in the bandit's chest, impaling his heart on his long fingers

'What kind of freak are you?' Higuma gasps

'What's going on? I can't see'

Luffy's outburst caused the pirates to kick back into gear, Ben continuing beat down of the lower tier bandits, while Kaos yanks his arm back out of the cooling body, skittering back until he collides with Shanks chest, the captain holding the kid steady before he could fall

'Hold on, you'll be fine' he whispers as his first mate finishs off the canon fodder

'That's it! To Hell with all you pirate bastards!' Higume yells angrilly before dropping a smoke bomb, managing to escape before Ben or Shanks could get to him.

'Damn it, he got away' _beat_ 'Oh shit! He's still got Luffy!' Shanks yells loudly

 _Transition_

'Ha, they'd never expect a mountain bandit to escape by boat' Higuma laughs as he thinks about how smart he is, while dangling Luffy over the side of his boat

'Damn it, let go of me you dickhead!' Luffy screams angrily, flailing around in an attempt to get free

'If you insist. Say hi to the fishes for me' the bandit chuckles before tossing Luffy overboard, laughing as he makes a loud splash and begins splashing around aimlessly. This laughter ended quite abruptly when something erupts from the water right behind him: a sea king, it's body a greyish brown and it's eyes blood red. Higuma had little more time than to express his confusion before the great beast had eaten both him and his boat.

' _ **I'm going to die'**_ Luffy's panicked mind screams as the Sea King barrels toward him, the boy colliding with something solid as their jaws barely miss him. Looking up Luffy's eye widen 'Shanks!' he yells then screams when he sees Lord of the Coast double back

Rather than show fear Shanks' face was cold and stony 'Pick on someone your own size. Get Lost!' he orders, the 2 stare for a moment before the massive beast whimpers and swims away 'there we go Luffy, safe and sound' he says with his usual cheerful demeanour

Luffy sniffles 'B-b-but Shanks, your arm' he cries into his chest, most of the pirate's left arm having been bitten off by the sea king

'It's just an arm Luffy, nothing I wouldn't give to save a friend' he pulls the lad closer with his remaining arm and begins to kick towards land, his crew and Kaos there to meet him

'Captain, quickly, you need to get to Doc Mills' Yassop yells worryingly to which Shanks nods

'Sure thing, Luffy stick with the men, me and your brother need to see the Doc'

Luffy gasps, looking to the taller boy 'Kaos got hurt?'

Shanks smiles, ruffling his hair 'Nothing major but best get him checked out anyway' Luffy nods sadly as Shanks pushes the mostly unresponsive DF user in front of him

 _The Red Force_

'Shit, this is going to take a bit of work Shanks' Zelena sighs, hands running through her thick, red hair.

'Don't worry Z, I'll live and you'll patch me up just fine, same as you have everyone else' the captain grins then turns to Kaos 'So want to talk kid?'

'I killed him' the purplette meeps 'I killed someone, I'm a monster' he sniffles

Shanks frowns but lightly squeezes the kid's arm 'You're not a monster, even if you are a killer'

 **BANG**

'That's not helping!' Z|elena yells with shark teeth

The Yonko whines as he rubs his head 'That wasn't nice Z' he pouts before turning back to Kaos 'You know you weren't the only one to kill today'

'I wasn't?'

'Nope. You know Lucky Roo?'

Kaos nods 'Yeah, he's the one who gets all the best meat, Luffy doesn't like that about him'

'Yeah well he also killed a bandit, shot him in the face. Is he a monster?'

'No' Kaos answers 'but he's an adult. Despite Luffy trying to be all grown up, I know we're still kids'

Shanks nods in understanding 'Very true and I'm sorry you had to do so, so early in life. But he attacked you and you were trying to save your brother from the bandits. That's self defence in my book'

'Really?'

'Of course, in fact…' he meets eyes with Zelena who sighs and nods before walking over to the wall with a grumble and pulling out a small box from a hidden compartment

'You better know what you're doing' she hisses in his ear before placing it between them

'Well? Open it' he says to Kaos who looks at him in confusion before he nods and opens the box, revealing a gold coloured khopesh with a black/purple serpent coiled around the hilt, itself appearing to be wrapped in snakeskin 'This is the Hebi no Oni no mi' he explains 'And I think you'll find a good use for it'

'You're giving me a sword?' the boy looks confused as he picks up the weapon. Once he does the snake animates, sliding under his sleeves and up his arm. Kaos hisses and clutches his shoulder in pain, swaying a few times before steadying himself 'Whoa!' he gasps

'Yeah. This blade belonged to a man I greatly respected' Shanks began, Kaos noticing tears in Zelena's eyes, the red head missing her former captain 'the fact it accepted you means you will carry on his legacy. I will admit he was probably 20 kinds of crazy but he had a good heart and treated his crew like family. I see great things for you and Luffy in the future, now get out there before Anchor has a complete meltdown' he teases, ruffling his hair before the lanky kid runs out of the infirmary

Once he was out of earshot Zelena hits the straw hat wearing idiot (A ginger smacking a straw hat wearing idiot… sounds familiar) 'Ow' Shanks whines

'Do you have any idea what could have happened? The only consolation would have been that it was a quick death'

'Relax, I knew what I was doing'

'No, you didn't, you took a chance like with this' she gestures to the stump she was still treating 'I don't care if you gamble with your own body or even your own life, but those kids… I know you're not that kind of man, or at least I hope you aren't now'

Shanks sighs 'I know Z and I'm sorry, but it just felt right, like him and that blade slot together like a single unit'

'I know, it's the only reason I gave you it in the first place, rather than send you flying across the room' there was an awkward silence for a few minutes

'I can't thank you enough for taking this position'

'Nonsense, you needed a Doctor and it's clearly needed given you did this like an idiot'

'No, I mean it, you have a chance away from this life, and because of me you could be dragged back into it' he explains, wincing when she tightens the bandage.

'Idiot. You are a friend Shanks, I've never had a problem helping my friends' she smiles before slapping the back of his head once more 'Besides, it's just till you find yourself a new doctor, and I already have some other work lined up with Grima and Henry'

 _1 week later_

'Do you have to go?' Luffy asks sadly as Shanks crew loading up their ship

'Yeah we do, we've been on this island and East Blue in general for too long, we need to go. You still want to come with?' he asks with a smirk

'No thanks, I'm going to make my own crew one day'

'That's great because we wouldn't have taken an anchor like you around anyway' Red Hair Shanks laughs and Luffy yells

'That's not nice you jerk! I'm going to be the Captain of the greatest pirate crew the world has EVER SEEN! And we'll find the greatest treasure there is and I'll become King of the Pirates'

Shank's laughter fades to a warm smile 'The greatest huh?' he chuckles, reaching for his hat before placing it on Luffy's rubber noggin 'Here's an idea, you keep this hat and bring it back when you have this amazing crew of fearsome pirates okay?' he hears Luffy sniffle though can't see the tears behind the hat 'Hey Kaos' the taller kid stops helping Ben fill a crate to nod 'I know wherever Anchor goes you will be, I won't ask you to stop him from making stupid decisions, we both know that's impossible, but try keep him from getting killed'

'Hey! I don't need his help I'm going to be a great pirate' Luffy complains

'That may be true Luffy but every pirate Captain needs a 1st mate, and who better than your own brother?'

Luffy pouts for a moment before nodding 'Hey Kaos, want to join my crew?'

The purplette nods with a grin 'Sure, I expect a pay rise though'

'Okay'

Shanks smiles as he watches the brothers from the ship's deck, knowing they were going to take the world by storm…

TOGETHER

TBC

LW: Well there we go, the origin of both of their Devil Fruits, Luffy's hat and even Kaos' sword. I hope you all enjoyed this little stroll through Flashback Land, back to regular time in 2 weeks.

We're finished with the East Blue now, next chapter we hit the Grand Line!


	22. Island Whales and Water running up hill

LW: Well here we go, onward to the next Saga, East Blue officially ended back in May, now June brings us into the Grand Line and the beginning of what is technically considered part of the Alabasta Saga.

Also in this universe the Warship Island Arc happened and I'll probably get back to it some day, but nothing really important happened to feel free to imagine whatever you like.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Island Whales and water running up hill? The Grand Line's weird already.

 _Going Merry – East Blue_

'Okay everyone, we're almost hit the point of no return. Now the only way to enter the Grand Line is Reverse Mountain'

'Why can't we just go this way?' Kaya asks, running her fingers straight down the map.

'That's the Calm Belt' Nami begins

'A place without wind or current, infested with Sea Kings' Kaos finishes causing Kaya to droop

'Oh, sorry I wasted your time' she mumbles, flinching when she feels a hand on her shoulder

'Hey, don't worry about it, that was a good question, after all it does look like an easier option on paper'

'Speaking of paper how does the map say we enter?' Alvida asks, her chin resting on her knuckles

'Well 99% of the Red Line is solid, impenetrable wall of rock, but there's a single canal connecting each of the Blues together and then to the Grand Line. The problem is it looks like we have to somehow go up the mountain and then down the other side' Nami explains

'Sailing up a mountain? Now you've lost it Nami' Zoro scoffs while Luffy just grins

' _This is going to be so cool'_ he thinks

'Hey guys, we have a problem!' Usopp yells, the other only then noticing him struggling to move their rudder bar. Nami groans but directs Sanji to deal with it, which he happily attempts to do

 _A little later_

'Hey guys, I can see the mystery mountain!' Luffy yells, the others a little busy with their brains trying to get out of their **HOLY SHIT** holding pattern

' _Damn it! Nami was right, the water is flowing uphill'_ Zoro thinks

'What the Hell? I can't see the top, the mountain's taller than the clouds!' Usopp yells

'Okay, we can see the entrance, just need to actually keep our heading in that direction' Kaos turns to Luffy who shrugs, then Nami who nods, before the reflect human sends Sanji and Usopp to work on their steering. Not that it did much good...

'Shit, the current's got us, if we don't adjust soon we're going to break against the Red Line' Nami yells, Usopp and Sanji frantically trying on the steering pole, while Kaos, Zoro and Alvida try use the sails to edge just a little bit to the right. Things were looking up… right until the rudder's steering pole snapper off

' _FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!'_

Seeing no other option Luffy jumps off the front of the Merry just before it reaches the gates, though as usual he forgot to tell anyone his plan

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

Luffy inflates just before the ship hits the wall, nudging it to safety. Kaos, with a quick toss of Hebi hooking onto Luffy so he could once more rejoin them on the assent

'WE MADE IT!' was cheered by most of the straw hats, Luffy even joining in once he'd regained his bearings

With the crisis averted even Nami was looking happy, cheering with the others and laughing. All was right with the world

'Forget about me so soon pirates?' the group turn to see a weirdo with swirly pale purple hair and really long nails on the railing of the ship

'Hey isn't that the sicko guy?' Luffy asks

'I think it is' Alvida notes 'But then again I also thought he was dead'

'I hate the lot of you, not only did you ruin all my plans but now they're out of reach from ever coming to fruition. For that alone I will take great pleasure in destroying you bastards myself'

'Anyone got a plan?' Kaos asks quietly

'Whatever we do it'll have to be quick, with his wind blades he could tear the ship apart quite easily' Zoro answers, his hands already wrapping around Wado and Kitetsu's hilts

'Ha ha, you fools can't lay a finger on me, I hold all the cards this time'

 **Bang Bang**

'Fu…' Eric doesn't even get to finish his curse as the double kneecapping made him lose his balance and fall backward, into the turbulent waters of Reverse Mountain. The Zoro and Sanji look down at the blond huddled between them, her revolvers still smoking. Then look at one another, then down to Kaya before smirking

'You did good Doc'

With that dealt with the majesty of the sights of Reverse Mountain, once more held their attention till they reached the peak at which point the mostly gentle assent quickly shifted to a drop worthy of extreme roller coasters, a sentiment clearly shared by the ship's captain as he yelled and cheered in joy, one hand holding down his hat and the other gripping the front of the boat, actions matched by Kaos and Alvida (being the only ones on the crew with hats) while the others held the ship in a death grip.

'This is so cool!' Luffy cheers with a wide D grin

'Anyone else hear a loud groan/rumble?' Kaos asks

'How can you hear anything over the wind?' Nami screams, forcing her eyes open to ensure they don't go smash against the sides

'What?' Kaya yells, seeing their lips more but unsure they were saying

'We're passing through the cloud layer' Nami says as loud as she could before screaming when the source of the rumble/groan…an enormous whale ramming the Red Line

'Holy shit, that's a huge whale'

'It's going to crush us!'

'We're all gonna die!'

' _Not if I have anything to say about it'_ Luffy thinks

'Wait a minute, if this thing is a mountain to us, we might as well be a speak'

Nami blinks at Sanji saying something helpful 'You're right, we might be able to pass by completely under it's radar'

'Only problem is we're still on a bloody collision course!' Kaos reminds her

'Then we need to turn the ship, somehow' Alvida argues

'The rudder's broken'

'Well who's fault is that?'

'QUIET!' Everyone turns to Kaya in shock 'We need to try something, anything or we're going to die'

'Got it!' Luffy nods and runs off, to the confusion of everyone else

Kaos sighs before looking back to the whale 'There's more room on its right, hard port. Try turning the ship left' he orders, the guys all frantically trying to move their broken rudder into a position where they can do anything… and failing

'This is it, we were in the GrandLine for less than a minute and we're about to die' Nami whimpers, as the whale gets even closer

 **BOOM!**

Jaws drop as the Merry's cannon is unloaded into the whale, it also managing to reduce the ship's speed so it gently nudged the beast rather than ran into it… still broke the lamb's head off though.

' _We're dead'_ Nami thinks as she collapses, this close to passing out

'Well, we're boned' Kaos grumbles, sounding almost resigned to his fate.

 _DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP_

'Hey, what happened to the Merry Head?' Luffy yells as he comes back on deck looking pissed off

'Now is not the time, let's book it!' the rest of the crew agreed as they broke out the oars and began to row their way around the whale, who didn't seem to even react to the cannon fire that had been launched at it. Everything was fine until they reached its eye…

'You think you can break my special seat and get away with it!'

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

'Luffy! You moron!' everyone screams as he punches the whale straight in the eye. This the monstrous beast did react to, his gaze flicking down onto them faster than could be expected for something of its considerable size. Luffy didn't seem fazed at all that he was picking a fight with something who's eye was bigger than his ship, he was just mad.

The whale groans loudly, its massive jaws open wide, practically creating a whirlpool all its own, as the boat was taken into its maw. The buffeting unfortunately knocks Luffy off of the deck, but luckily he was able to grab a tooth before he could hit the water and drown. Determined and angry he began to climb the whale's outside while the ship was sucked further inside

 _DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP_

The whale's jaws close splitting up Luffy from the others. The rubber boy didn't take it well when he finally reached the top.

'You stupid whale, give me my friends back' Luffy growls, angrily stomping on his head. There was little reaction on the whale's part, other than beginning to dive again _'Shit, shit, shit, shit. How am I getting out of this?'_ Luffy thinks, only then noticing a hatch in the whale 'That'll work'

 _Meanwhile_

'Oww, fuck' Kaos groans as he sits up, glad to see they hadn't lost anymore (besides Luffy) in the mess that had just occurred

'How'd we get outside? We were just swallowed by a whale, that wasn't a dream right?' Nami asks and the crew finally do look around and see she was right: they did appear to be outside and wherever they were it was just the Merry and a tiny island. Well until a huge squid rose from the water and tried to attack the ship

'Ahh sea monster!' Usopp screams, him and Kaya huddling together as Sanji stands up while Zoro, Kaos and Alvida ready their weapons. This was pointless as the creature was harpooned before it could damage the vessel. It was then slowly winched towards the house on the island.

'Well, guess we should find out who's home' Sanji suggests

'A ship' was mumbled as a figure stands in the doorway of the house, staring at them. Stepping into the light they see it to be an old man with strange hair that looked like flower petals around the back of his head

' _Great, more weirdoes'_

The man gazes unblinkingly, with an intense glare as he moves across his little island, eyes locked with the chef,… until he sits in a deck chair and stares out at them before opening up the paper.

'That's it?' Sanji yells angrily, Kaos and Zoro chuckling in amusement

'You better tell us what's going on. Stop messing around we've got cannons!' Usopp yells from the cabin, even Kaya sweat drops at this

More silent staring is held between the pirates and OAP

'You try that and someone is going to die' he croaks

'Yeah and who's that?' Zoro asks, getting ready to fight

'Me of course' the old man answers, Kaos and Alvida can't help but laugh before remembering to grab Sanji so he doesn't attack him

'So, who are you and where are we?' the 1st mate asks, mostly before their cook tries to kill him

The man stares silently, once more causing the pirates to sweatdrop 'It's rude to ask someone their name without giving yours first' he finally says

Kaos sighs, placing his hand over his chest 'Serpens Kaos of the Straw Hat Pirates' he answers

'Names Crocus, I'm the lighthouse keeper of the Twin Capes, and where we are quite simply is inside Laboon'

'Laboon?' Zoro asks, before hearing Nami groan loudly

'We're inside that fucking whale aren't we?' she asks with a defeated tone

'Not just any whale, Laboon is a West Blue Island Whale. He's also over 50 years old and has spent most of it slamming his head into the Red Line. Now I presume you want to leave, it's quite simple, just go through those doors over there' he waves his hand in the direction behind them, they turn and see there really was a giant set of doors just behind them

'That was surprisingly easy' Kaya notes, Alvida and Nami nodding in agreement, Kaos actually disappointed by the simplicity… until they were caught in a typhoon

'You just had to think it didn't you?' Sanji complains to the purplette who was grinning once again 'You can't go one minute without stimulation can you?'

'Nope!'

'What the hell is going on?' Nami screams

'Remember what I said, about him slamming his head into the Red Line? Well this is what it looks like from the inside' Crocus answers, moving to his main ship

'Okay how are we going to get out of here if we can't move in these waves?' Usopp asks

'We paddle, now stop complaining and get rowing' Kaos orders, not noticing a splash with everything else going on

'Hey guys, the old guy just jumped in'

'What? But he'll be eaten alive' Kaya yelps, looking as worried as their navigator, though the red head was more worried that it would soon be their fate as well

'Hey guys, Crocus just resurfaced' Alvida says, clinging to the side of this ship a momentary reprieve from the maelstrom they'd been caught in

'Not important right now, we need to get those doors open and get out of this whale before it digests us' Nami replies, trying to figure out how to convince Zoro or Sanji to jump overboard and try open the doors for them. Then the yelling sounds

' _Ah crap'_

The blast doors high above fly open, spitting out Luffy, a girl with light blue hair and a ginger with a crown, all falling into the liquid below

'Luffy!' the straw hats yell, Kaos lightly shoving Sanji off the ship so he could rescue their DF user captain before he drowns

Laboon groans a little more before all goes strangely calm

Nami hums 'Don't know what the old guy did but I guess it worked, Laboon's calmed down, or at least his insides have

'True. Now, we saved your asses, so explaining what you're doing here would be nice' Kaos growls as he stands over the 2 weirdoes that entered Laboon's belly with Luffy

'Mr. 9, these people are pirates' the bluenette whispers to her companion, trying to squirm away from a lovesick Sanji

'I can see that Miss Wednesday' 9 agrees 'But if we appeal to their humanity and compassion they may let us go, or at least listen to our dilemma'

'Are any of those things edible?' Luffy asks, frowning when Kaos shakes his head 'Damn it'

'I don't think they have humanity to appeal to' Wednesday grumbles

'You dumbasses are still here?' everyone turns to see Crocus had returned, and sounded annoyed 'I don't like to repeat myself but I'll do it now because you clearly didn't listen the first time. As long as I draw breath, you will not lay a hand on Laboon!' he declares flatly, leaving no room for debate.

'Sorry old man but we need this whale meat to save our village' the bluenette says before firing her cannon, but surprisingly for a man of his age Crocus is able to leap into the path of the projectile, the explosion going off long before it could be even an irritant to Laboon

'Damn, the old fart's stronger than I expected' the guy says

'Relax 9, we'll just fire again'

 **BANG**

The 2 groan and hit the ground with a thump after Kaos slams their heads together, Nami pulling out some ropes to secure them.

 _Later_

'Laboon has been waiting for 50 long years now for the return of his friends, let me explain'

And so Crocus did just that, telling the straw hats about how a band of pirates passed through Reverse Mountain many years ago, followed by a baby island whale that they had tried to leave behind for his safety, but he saw them as his family and came anyway. How due to damage to their ship they had to stay near the lighthouse for a few months while they worked on fixing it, during which the captain managed to get Laboon to stay with Crocus, here at the twin capes as well as the promise they made to return in 3 years, which they clearly didn't. It was when he got to the fact the crew abandoned Laboon certain crewmates got annoyed

'How do you know?'

'Hm?' Crocus looked confused

'How do you know they abandoned Laboon? You don't exactly get out much and word doesn't exactly travel' Kaos asks 'If you can't prove it you're just being a dick to Laboon, making his pain and anger worse than it already is'

'But it's true, those pirates turned tail and ran, abandoning Laboon when they sailed into the Calm Belt…'

'Which means they're dead, but that doesn't mean they never planned to come back to Laboon, after all, they had to get back to Reverse Mountain and the cape somehow' Luffy adds his 2 cents, causing Crocus to sigh

'Believe what you want, the point is that since the day I told Laboon all this, he has continued to slam his head into the Red Line, seeing it as the barrier between himself and his family. It's never going to break, but that hasn't stopped him from trying, nothing I've done has managed to either for that matter'

Everyone was silent for a moment… until Luffy and Kaos hop off the boat and stand in front of a much calmer Laboon

'Hey Whale Guy' Luffy yells, punching Laboon in the eye again. The Island Whale groans and turns his focus on the brothers. Despite himself the elder smirks to the younger, letting his body shift up to his elbows and ankles.

'How about we make this fun?' he asks

'You're on' Luffy replies

 **Gum Gum Spring**

 **Shimmer**

The 2 launch themselves at Laboon, bouncing around as they land blows on the huge animal, mostly being able to dodge but some attacks were unavoidable, sending them both flying, Luffy's rubber body providing some protection while Kaos had to make do with his reflect armour in combination with Hebi to stop his bounces.

'They're insane' Wednesday mutters in shock, 9 nodding dumbly

'You're idiots. They're real men and real pirates' Crocus says standing a little behind them

'Relax Miss Wednesday, don't listen to the old fart' Mr. 9 pleads as he tries hold her back

 _Honk_

9 freezes as Wednesday slowly turns her head, quickly putting distance between them as he removes his hand from her breast as if burnt. Before she could rip his head off there is a louder bang which distracts her

'There, it's a draw.' Luffy states, Laboon stopping and staring at them, while the boys stand and dust themselves off

'Your old crew, they used to spar with you too didn't they? Must have been a more even match back then' Kaos jokes, smiling widely

'You missed it, the playful fighting, and the drive to get stronger. All you've had is the Red Line, especially because Crocus might be getting a little old to be fighting giant whales'

'Our group are also sailing the Grand Line, trying to fulfil our dreams. We'll be back when we're finished our journey, think you can wait that long?'

Laboon looked at the strange humans, so very much like his old friends and crew, the boy in the straw hat was just like the captain; full of life and stronger than anything he'd seen in years, while the tall one was a lot like Comic, just missing the musician's signature afro. His heart still yearned for his old crew, but something about the young pirates reminded him of them enough it didn't hurt as much, plus they could fight just like his old nakama, even though he was much larger than back then

Laboon bellows, with teary eyes, signalling his agreement and Luffy grins 'Awesome, just hold on a minute'

'There we go, finished' Luffy smiles proudly at the quite terribly drawn Straw Hat Pirate Roger on Laboon's forehead ' This is our promise to come back and spar again when we reach the end of the Grand Line. It's a bit for a rush job so it's a little delicate. Now don't go ramming the Red Line again, or it'll come off, you here me?' he explains, the island whale nodding before groaning in joy

 _A little while later_

Kaos watches Nami flail as she works on the map, Sanji makes food and holds off a hungry Luffy. His wide grin would unnerve most but the others were getting used to his eccentricities, only Alvida and Usopp gave him worried looks.

'Damn it!' Nami yells, slamming her fist into the map

'What's wrong Nami-Swan?' Sanji asks, worried at the source of his sweetie's frustration

'There's something wrong with the compass' she answers, pointing to the spinning item 'I can't get a heading with this'

Crocus laughs 'You won't be able to navigate the Grand Line with a simple compass, the combined magnetic fields given off by the islands make traditional navigation less than useless'

Something breaks inside Nami at that information 'Useless?' She repeats meekly

'Exactly, without a Log Pose you could be going in circles till you die and not even notice' the old doctor nods

'Hey old guy, is this one?' Luffy asks, holding up something that vaguely resembles a compass needle held within a glass dome

'Yeah, that's a Log Pose'

'Luffy, where'd you get that?' Nami asks as he passes it to his navigator

'It fell off those weirdoes, thought it might be useful' the rubber boy answers with a shrug while Nami starts to examine the log pose, but not before hitting him 'Ow, what was that for? I thought I did good'

'You did, but you were due a smack for all the shit you pulled with Laboon' Nami explains then gets to work

As is common with these guys, she had just about managed to figure out how the Pose worked when Sanji noticed Luffy had eaten all the food, in response he kicked the rubber idiot from one side of the outlet to the other, passing right over Nami's head as he went. Unfortunately the shockwaves causes the delicate log pose to shatter, Nami stares blankly at the shards for a minute

'Sanji' she calls softly, the cook turns with a wide smile

'Yes Nami-swan?' he asks, getting a punch to the face for his troubles

'You idiot! You just screwed us all! We needed that Log Pose, without it we're sunk!' she yells directly into his face

'Hey Crocus how long does it take to turn one of these things?' Kaos asks, Nami turns slowly to see the 1st mate fiddling with another Log Pose

'Where'd you get that?'

'Loguetown'

' **WHAT!'**

 _Flashback_

Kaos walks through the streets with no destination in mind there was still quite a bit of time till they all had to meet up and he was bored. It was then he noticed something out the corner of his eyes: a device that looked like a combination of a compass and a snowglobe. (Anyone got a better description, I'm all ears)

'I see you're captivated by the Log Pose' the stall owner says catching the purplette's attention

'Log Pose? You mean the compass?' he asks curiously

'In the Blue's it's a compass, but on the Grand Line it's the only way to get anywhere' the woman explains 'I presume that's why you're on this island, like most of our visitors due to it's proximity to Reverse Mountain'

Kaos nods 'Yep. I should probably take one, though our navigator probably already has might as well have a spare' he says, passing over the beri

'These are quite delicate'

Kaos frowns 'Not a good thing to hear given our Captain…make it 5'

 _Flashback End_

Why didn't you say anything before now?' Nami yells angrily

'I thought you actually got one while we were in Loguetown, didn't know you hadn't till your panic attack a few minutes ago' he explains, knocking the wind out of Nami's sails but the ginger smiles when he hands her one of his spares, still fiddling with the one on his own wrist.

At this point Laboon pops up, bringing with him a barely conscious Luffy (having been knocked in by Sanji's kicks) and those 2 weirdoes from earlier.

Sanji, seeing a pretty girl immediately helps her up, though she's clearly still a little creeped out about the chef

'Hey, we need a favour' 9 says, catching their attention

'Whisky Peak?' Luffy repeats, wondering if all Grand Line islands will have weird names like this one

'Yes, we need assistance returning to our village' he explains

'But where's your ship?' Kaya asks, knowing they clearly had to have had one to get here in the first place

'Wednesday sighs 'It was destroyed, during our original attempt on the whale'

Nami smirks as she gets in their faces 'Speaking of that it's kind of pushing things asking us for a lift after trying to kill us and our friend' she says, yeah now he wasn't trying to eat them Nami was admitting Laboon was a rather friendly giant whale.

'Listen we just need a ride home, nothing more. Please we can see you're good people despite being pirates, can't you just do this one little thing for us?' Miss Wednesday asks, head dropped submissively

Sanji scoffs lightly 'Good people, how'd they completely miss you Kaos, some of us are half your size' the response from the 1st mate was to punch him into the dirt.

'You know now seems like a good time to tell you… we kind of broke the pose. Still want to ride with us?' the navigator has her regretful face on, while Kaos, Alvida and Luffy were holding in laughter

'YOU BROKE IT!' Wednesday and 9 yell before flopping in sad piles

'A hem' both look up to a smirking Nami 'We could still take you' she offers with a shark like grin

'But you said…' Wednesday begins but Nami waves her off

'Yeah, these idiots broke it but Sparkles got some more before we got her, so we can still get around' Alvida explains as Nami had gone all creepy weirdo with her slasher smile, to the point even Kaos was beginning to worry (Kaya and Usopp skipping worried and going straight to trying to hide on the ship, were it not for Luffy and Zoro)

'It's all good, you can ride with us' Luffy just comes out and says, Nami pouts as she was going to charge them through the nose, while the others were just glad it was over, even if they did have to put up with these weirdoes as a result. 'You said your home is called Whiskey Peak? Good a place as any to start'

'Thank you, thank you' Both agents blubbered, to which Luffy just shrugged

'Don't worry about it. It's all good' he says before flashing a wide, D grin.

 **TBC**

LW: Well that's Laboon's Arc done, such a nice fellow.

Laboon: [Uninteligable moaning]

LW: Sorry bud but I can't bring you with me either, different universes and all that

Laboon: [Sad grumble]

LW: Guilt trip me why don't you? Anyway, read and review, see you in 2 weeks.

 _New skills/techniques/Lore_

 **Shimmer** : High speed technique, Kaos being able to cross short distances basically in a flash or as the title suggests, shimmer of light. Other than the inherent damage increased speed does to attacks, it is also good for disorientating opponents.

 _ **Laboon's crew**_ : This isn't the last we see or hear from them, not sirie. It'll take a while but they'll show up in the story again one day

 _ **Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday**_ : Obviously not there real names, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter for them to make any sense.


	23. Whisky Peak

LW: Ah Whisky Peak, where shit starts to get real… no wait that's the next chapter. Oh well, please enjoy anyway

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Whiskey Peak, the island that welcomes pirates?

'It's snowing' Nami gasps

Kaos chuckles 'It's the Grand Line, logic and reason can go fuck itself' he says, surprised the bluenette nods in agreement with him, just as lightning streaked across the sky

'While crude he has a point, The Grand Line functions under a completely different set of rules than any of the Blues, nothing out there can be trusted while on the sea, or do you not remember that the Log Pose is the only reason you have any idea where you're going? Speaking of which have you been keeping a careful eye on it Miss Nami?' she asks with a tiny smirk, which drops in fear when Nami starts yelling at her, at which point the taller StrawHat stops caring and watches Luffy and Usopp behave like children while Sanji shovels snow like he's Nami's body slave or something (he wishes ;D). How Zoro could sleep through this is anyone's guess, and finally we round up the crew with Alvida and Kaya, both who are as wrapped up in their blankets as their travelling companions but unlike those 2 idiots weren't complaining anywhere near as much (Alvida complained about the cold when the snow started falling seeing as compared to everyone else, even Nami she was wearing half nothing, but after stealing a blanket stopped as there was no reason to keep doing so)

It was at this point any peace was broken when Nami checked her pose… and realised they were going in the wrong direction. After the expected screaming and swearing, as well as the 2 idiots being forced by Nami to join the guys and Alvida in working the steering, they had the ship do a 180 and all was good for a little while… well besides the snow and lightning but even that was only temporary. What was less temporary and more dangerous was the HUGE ASS ICEBERG that popped up out of nowhere in front of them.

'Iceberg at 10 O'clock'

'Fog rolling in'

'Hey the iceberg's vanished, does that mean we're home free?'

'IDIOT!'

Nami wanted to cave her captain's head in at this moment but had bigger things to worry about, such as her and Kaos trying to stop them all dying by being smashed into the aforementioned iceberg. They made it but just barely and Merry started to take on water, prompting Usopp and Sanji to rush down and patch the leak (as any other able bodied people were sleeping, prisoners or DF users so no water allowed). Of course this was just the beginning as they went from the fog to a hellish storm, which had even the Grand Line natives looking worried

' _We're all going to die'_

'Pull in the sails, the winds too strong we'll capsize. Usopp fix the leaks and start bailing, we're taking on too much water as it is without doing it from all angles' Nami orders as they enter the storm proper, everyone running around, deferring to either their navigator or 1st mate, usually depending on who was saying what, mostly Nami as Kaos was more worried about what he was capable of working on and letting the upper management be handled by the less physically capable crewmate, though still called out any problems in line of sight he was unable to deal with himself.

After what felt like hours the storm passed leaving everything as calm as it had been back with Crocus and Laboon, at which point EVERYONE collapsed on deck, muscles aching and minds slightly cracked by the mayhem that was the Grand Line. It was this that Zoro woke up to and promptly put his foot in it; to the point if the others weren't so exhausted they would have kicked his ass. It was then he noticed 9 and Wednesday, equally tired, and sprawled out as the others

'What are you 2 doing here?' he asks in confusion

'Detour' Luffy answers 'we're dropping them off in their village on the way, it's called Whiskey Peak'

Zoro raises and eyebrow 'Since when did we become a transport vessel for idiots?'

'Since Luffy stepped foot on the Merry' Kaos mutters, Nami producing a noise that sounded like a cough, snort and laugh, and then choking on air.

The swordsman sighs 'You're right, stupid question. Now back to you 2… what were you're names again?'

The agents gulp 'I'm Mr. 9' 'And I'm Miss Wednesday'

'Hm, yeah that's what I thought, the problem is they sound really familiar, I just can't put my finger on why' at this point either Nami had regained enough energy or she was simply running on bile and wrath as she stands up, walking over to the moss haired teen and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him.

 _Not long after_

'Okay everyone, here it is. Whiskey Peak' Nami announces everyone on deck to see their first Grand Line Island.

'Like everything else so far on the Line, it's certainly unique'

'Look at those cacti they're freaking huge!'

'And the fog, are you sure this isn't Misty Peak instead?'

With their location confirmed 9 and Wednesday leave as idiots often do, hopping off the side of a moving Caravel

'Ehh…..' was the general consensus from the crew

'Good thing they weren't Devil Fruit users or that would have been even stupider' Kaos notes offhand

'True' Nami nods before rechecking that everything was running smoothly and they were reaching the village without causing problems.

When they reached the island's settlement they were met with a curious site: the locals were cheering their arrival, not running away or arming themselves which was the usual reaction to pirates entering your village. It really threw the more intelligent members of the group for a ride (okay, everyone bar Luffy)

'Welcome Pirates, to Whiskey Peak' a large man with hair rolls resembling a powdered wig greets them 'I am the mayor of this swell little town. Let us throw you a great feast and we can all party' Luffy, Sanji and Usopp grin widely, while Zoro, Nami, Kaos and Alvida had raised eyebrows as well as an expression best described as _'Are you kidding me?'_ written across their faces.

 _Late Afternoon/Early Evening_

Kaos smiles as he and Kaya slowly made their way through the drinks they'd been given. Luffy was emptying their kitchen of food, Usopp was doing his speciality: spinning tales to amaze and astound, Sanji was practically in heaven with about 20 ladies hanging off his every word and finally we move to the heavy drinkers of the crew who managed to get roped into a drinking contest: Zoro having just bowed out, but Nami, Alvida and a solidly built black nun were all that were left.

'This is quite the surprise, to find a place like this so welcoming in the Grand Line' Kaya says quietly, nibbling away at one of the few plates of food that hadn't been inhaled by their voracious captain

'Yeah, quite a strange little town, to so openly welcome pirates' he shrugs before waving over someone to refill his and their doctor / gunslinger's cups

 _Later_

With the last of the straw hats passed out, Igarapoi and the nun meet up with Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday

'You were supposed to bring us whale, not another pirate crew, we have enough problems without more mouths to feed' she grumbles, ditching her disguise

'Sorry Miss Monday, these people stopped us killing the whale, they also broke our Pose so this was the only way to get back' 9 explains

'It doesn't matter' Igarapoi says surprising them

'But Mr. 8…' Wednesday begins but 8 pulls out a couple pages

'With the bounties we get from this crew we'll be okay for a while' he smiles creepily as the others stare in shock

'That straw hat wearing dumbass is worth 38 million!' 9 and Wednesday yell, Monday just stared on in shock

'I thought it went without saying, appearances can be deceptive, especially considering our line of work' 8 scolds them 'Now we need to strip the ship of all it's valuables then deal with these pirates, even if only 3 of them have actual bounties'

'So why don't we just kill them while they're down?' 9 asks, getting lightly slapped on the back of the head by Monday

'Idiot, just because the bounty says dead or alive doesn't mean both are of equal value. We loose 30% if we arrive with a corpse' 8 explains with a grimace 'The WG prefer to hold public executions so pay extra for the opportunity'

'So this is Baroque Works' the agents heads shoot up in the direction of the voice, spotting Zoro smirking, his hands resting on the hilt of Wado and Kitetsu.

'How did you know about us?' 9 asks

'You're not subtle for one thing: mercenary/bounty hunters, no names, numbers for guys, days for girls, all working for a shadowy figure right at the top who nobody actually knows. As for how I know specifically, I was a bounty hunter myself before joining this crew, one of you guys tried recruiting me, I turned him down'

8 grimaces 'Well if you do know all our secrets, then I guess we're going to have to kill you'

'Is that so, looks like all we can do is fight, what do you think our chances are?' Zoro asks as another pirate joins him on the roof. Cracking his knuckles Luffy answers 'We're going to kick their asses' he grins widely, stretching the scar under his right eye

 **Gomu Gomu no Bazooka**

The shockwave pushes a large group out of the way so Luffy bounces into the gap in time to get smacked in the face with Mr. 9's bat. All this foes is knock his hat off which he happily tells the red head

'Rubber body, blunt attacks don't do much' he says, watching 9's expression turn to terror as he winds back…

 **Gomu Gomu no Bullet**

…and punches the idiot through the window, jumping in after him.

' _1 down, 103 to go'_ Zoro thinks with an eye roll

Luckily it appeared regular Baroque work minions weren't hired for their brains, as initially Zoro didn't even need to unsheathe any of his swords, the idiots all shot each other in their overzealous attempts to kill him, even coming close to killing Mr. 8 except he fired first. After that little slice of mayhem Zoro decided to go for the stealthy approach, something not normally possible since he joined Luffy's crew.

'I'll give them one thing, this'll be a good chance to see what the new steel can do' Zoro thinks aloud, grabbing the hilts of Kitetsu 3 and Yubashiri, just as some of the bounty hunters find him. As they were pretty much just random idiots with guns Zoro didn't need all 3 swords, this time just drawing Yubashiri and cutting the group down _'Light, well balanced, and wicked sharp no wonder Iponmatsu was so proud of you'_ he grins before running away, getting ganged up on by more bounty hunters with a little assistance from Miss Monday, but his new blades seemed to deal with the threats rather easily… some a little **too** well.

'Listen Sandi Kitetsu, I don't care if you're cursed or not a good sword only cuts what it's master directs it to, that guy nearly redecorated the roof with his guts. Little bastard' Zoro scolds the blade, not expecting any kind of response but given how incredible the Kitetsu cursed blades were he wouldn't be surprised if the 1st Kitetsu did speak. Due to his new blade being a violent little shit Zoro was a little distracted disciplining it, leading Baroque Works agents to think they could take advantage of him, they almost succeeded when…

 **Gum Gum Whip**

… they were tossed aside by a rubber leg, causing the swordsman to smile

'Took your time their Captain' he half complains, Luffy almost pouting

'Is that anyway to talk to the guy bringing in reinforcements?' he asks one of the bounty hunters falling with a slash across his chest, Kaos grinning widely as he approaches 'Hey, where'd Alvida go?' Luffy wonders aloud

Kaos shrugs 'Guess she slipped away while you were saving Zoro's ass. Doesn't matter as long as someone takes them down as someone takes them down we don't need to all be bundled together' as he says that what felt like the shockwave of an explosion passes through them

'What was that?' Luffy asks

'Something bad, that's for sure' Zoro replies with a grimace, before the trio run off in the direction of the commotion…and instantly regretted it

It was a killing field; blood painted the wals and ground, large numbers of dead or dying, some were little more than mangled body parts and red goop

'What happened here?' Luffy gasps, Zoro and Kaos shrug, till the swordsman steps forward and a different sound than stone or bloody mess catches his attention. Looking down he sees it's some bloodied paper, which he picks up and opens. It's a bounty for Iron Mace Alvida.

' _Hm, the picture's either wrong or well out of date'_ Zoro thinks till he hears Kaos swear over his shoulder 'What?'

'I think I know what happened. Simplest way to put it is that photo is accurate before Loguetown, just before we met you we had a run in with Alvida, and she was … what would you describe her as?'

'A beached whale in a cowboy hat' Luffy supplies

'Thank you Luffy. Now this may come as a surprise but Alvida is sensitive about her weight and appearance overall. Luffy got Koby to call her ugly and she nearly turned him into a bloody smear if not for Luffy getting between him and taking the hit with his empty rubber head, actually the ship probably would have looked a lot like this alley if she'd actually managed to hit the pink haired little brat. So given the difference in appearance between that and now, imagine how she'd react to any comments about her previous um, girth' Zoro tried and shudders just as the wall beside them explodes.

'Bastards!' Alvida screams, swinging wildly, her fruits ability meaning even though her clothes, hat and club were covered in blood and viscera her skin was as clean and dirt free as when they stepped off the boat. The guys bravely… run in the opposite direction

'There you are!' they turn to see the remaining number agents had found them

'3 on 3, least it's fair now' Kaos says mostly to himself, but Wednesday laughs then whistles

'Fair? Carue to me!' she calls

 _ **Quack**_

'Over here dumbass!' She yells at the enormous, duck, the pirates sweat drop

'I'll take the girl and her duck'

Zoro didn't get to make a decision as he had to quickly dodge a tackle from Miss Monday, the muscular woman clearly trying to kill him with her bare hands

Luffy shrugs 'Guess it's you and me Mr. Mayor' he says

8 frowns and reaches for his tie, revealing guns hidden in his hair with a tug of his strings 'Yes but not for long'

 **Igarapapapapa!**

Luffy gulps as he leaps out of the way of the machine gun fire, Mr. 8 simply turning his head or body to keep him in his weapon's sights.

'So besides the duck what you got?' Kaos asks curiously

Wednesday chuckles 'Oh, so much more' she answers then begins to… well the best description would be belly dancing, the purplette's eyes twitch and he almost stumbles

' _Shit! What's she doing? It's no Devil Fruit power that's for sure_ ' he thinks, the dizziness starting to cause a headache

'You don't know why I wear this do you?' she asks, though it sounds like she's underwater

'Well it's too long and there's very little cleavage so you're clearly not working undercover as a hooker, honestly I just thought you wore what you liked, explains 9 outfit too' Kaos replies with a groan, trying to focus on altering his right arm

'No, the dress is part of my most devastating attack, my **Enchanting Vertigo Dance**. Now face my wrath!'

 **Peacock Slasher**

 **Homunculus**

Miss Wednesday squeaks when the silver spikes stop an inch from her face, the threads of her weapon tangled up and dangling uselessly

'H-h-h-how? What are you?'

'A mildly annoyed Devil Fruit user, with a whole bag of tricks still to use' he spreads his fingers; the cord tightens before snapping, the slasher hitting the ground with a slight click. With a small grin he retracts his digits, the reflective substance blending back into his skin before walking over to the frozen agent, just as he places his hand on Hebi he gets tackled by a super spot-billed duck (No, that's their actual name) knocking him over

'Thanks Carue' Wednesday says as she hops on her back 'Now, away!'

 _ **Quack**_

'Go faster!' she yells, slapping the duck on her hat

 _ **Quack, quack, quack, quack**_

So girl and duck run away, with an annoyed pirate on their heels

' _I hate to say this but I think I'm bored'_ Luffy thinks with a sigh, now it was just the 2 of them he was a lot more half assed with his dodges, sure he was still avoiding getting hit but if it did then no big deal. The guy's saxophone shotgun was cool, but the pellets bounced off his rubber gut doing as much damage as Makino's son with a foam ball… aka nil.

'Hm you're strong Straw Hat, maybe the poster is accurate' 8 muses aloud, Luffy grins in response

'Thanks, now let's finish this' he throws his arms back, letting then extend by several feet causing Mr. 8 to pale

 **Gum Gum Bazooka**

The shockwave sends the man flying into the air over a good portion of Whiskey Peak and dropping him directly in front of Carue and Miss Wednesday

'Iga…Mr 8!' Wednesday screams almost letting it slip before composing herself very slightly, the duck stopping beside the man and began to nudge him to check for signs of life. When he let out a pained groan she backs away

'Straw Hat bastard' 8 groans as he pulls himself to his feet

'Hey, that's my little brother you're talking about' Wednesday turns to see the now frowning 1st mate

'You're still following us?' she asks and Kaos chuckles

'You guys did try to kill us, I'm not exactly in the mood to let it g…' he raises his khopesh to block the swing of 9's back 'Didn't I kill you already?'

9 scoffs 'Not a chance baby. Besides, I think I'd remember an ugly mug like you …ow' he yelps, clutching his bloody nose as the taller guy had just punched him in the face

'We brought you here, you lead us into a trap, pretty sure you should remember THAT at least' before anything else can be said an explosion went off between them 'What was that?' he asks in confusion, Luffy and Zoro appearing soon after, having heard it go off

'That would be me' a man in shades and a trench coat says stepping into the view 'Mr. 5, Baroque Works Officer Agent' his companion, a woman dressed head to toe in lemon yellow including her umbrella and a hat which looks like an actual lemon, popping out from behind him

'And I'm Miss Valentine's Day' she greets with a giggle

'And you're both paramecia class devil fruit users' Kaos adds, taking a the look of surprise of the woman's face, mostly due to the man's shades hiding his wide eyes

'Oh good, you're here assist' 9 says hopefully, while 8 and Wednesday looked suspicious

'You're failures have been noted but aren't our concerns, we're here on the Boss's orders. His directive was simple _'someone knows my secret, deal with them'_ '

'So we'll be taking out the royal and going about out business' the woman laughs haughtily, the pirates noticing all 3 agents pale or tense

Finally Mr. 9 snaps 'Wait I'm not really a prince, it's just the aes…'

'You will not harm the princess while I'm here' Mr. 8 yells throwing himself in front of Miss Wednesday

 **Igarapapapapa!**

His hair guns fire hitting Mr. 5, causing a massive explosion, while Valentines Day sneaks off in the blast. Panting as his previous injuries flare up. Igaram releases his tie and the shots cease. Of course it is this moment when Mr. 5 rushes out of the smoke, slamming his fist into the older man's chest, another explosion throwing him back into Miss Wednesday and Carue

'Igaram!' Wednesday screams as she tries to check him for damage

'Well you tried at least' Valentine's Day says as she drops down beside 5 who grunts

'Princess Nefatari Vivi of Alabasta, Igaram of the Royal Guard, for infiltrating Baroque Works and discovering Mr. 0's true name, you must die' he says, holding a photo of the Alabastan royal… who looks identical to Miss Wednesday.

' _HOLY SHIT!'_

TBC

LW: One of those rare moments when a planned TBC falls exactly where I wanted it to, so yeah Miss Wednesday is the princess of Alabasta and Mr. 8 is the head of Alabasta Security (that's his official title according to the anime, but Royal Guard sounds cooler so that's his title from me :D)

Also yes, Zoro kicking everyone's asses by himself was awesome, but we have other people in this crew so they kind of need to do things. Therefore I kicked a few idiots awake and they did there level best to wreck shit.

 _ **Techniques**_

 **Homunculus:** The moment we see what I mean for Kaos being a special paramecia and the difference between paramecia and logia. Freeform control, which is what he uses in order to alter and manipulate his form when his fruit is active. In this case he extends his fingers into long spikes similar to Lust from Full Metal Alchemist, which is partly where the name comes from. I suppose Envy could also be considered part of his skill set, but it's a different technique/skill tree entirely rather than the broad term of the Homunculus ability.

 **Peacock Slashers:** Vivi's signature weapon, a sharp jewel or several on a wire.

 **Enchanting Vertigo Dance:** Vivi dances, the spirals on her dress causing her opponents to get dizzy and confused, leaving them open to attacks.

What this also means is Vivi is currently wearing what she did in the manga rather than the anime, as they used perfume for some reason and her dress was stripy rather than having circles


	24. Straw Hats Vs Baroque Works Round 1

LW: Here it is, part 2 of the Whisky Peak Arc, and as the title states I was originally going to have a big Baroque Works/Straw Hat fight, but like the episodes this chapter is based on stuff got in the way and we got something else. Oh well, least one of my favourite characters got to finally show up in my fic :D

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Straw Hats Vs Baroque Works Round 1 (Well that was the original plan)

'Wait, you're an actual princess?' 9 yells in shock, gulping when Vivi nods

'Whoa… Hey Kaos, you nearly got your ass kicked by a pretty, pink princess shishishi' Luffy laughs, Zoro cracks a smile and Kaos groans

'1 she didn't kick my ass and 2, she's less pretty, pink princess and more stripper'

'Can't argue with you there'

'I'm a little busy right now can you hold off your stupidity for just a few minutes!' Vivi yells, surprising the pirates that she had actually remembered they were there. So they were doubly surprised when Igaram tried to grab them

'Please' Igaram wheezes, spitting a little blood as he speaks 'Save the princess' causing 5 to laugh

'Are you that desperate you'd beg the people you tricked and tried to kill to help you? We're doing them a favour dealing with you'

 **My Nose Fancy cannon**

 _Ping_

Vivi and Igaram look on in shock as Zoro grimaces 'Ugh, I just sliced someone's snot'

 **KABOOM!**

2 explosions go off behind him 'Your odd friend was right by the way' 5 explains 'We did both eat Devil Fruits, mine being the Bomu Bomu no mi. I'm a bomb human, I can explode any part of my body without doing damage to myself'

More annoying laughter causes Kaos to look up and see Miss Valentine floating above him 'And I ate the Kilo Kilo no mi, I can alter my weight between 1 and 10,000 kilos at will' she says, waiting until she's directly above the researcher before letting go of the umbrella, increasing her weight to 10,000 kg as she does

 **10,000 kilo press**

 _Jiggle_

'Ah you pervert, how dare you touch my ahhhhhhhhhh!' Valentine screams as Kaos catches her, then tosses her at 5, the building they get knocked into demolished by the explosion he causes

'You mean the ass you tried to kill me with?' Kaos asks, shaking his hands and wriggling his fingers to try return feeling to them after the impact damage, even partly reflected back into Miss Valentine's 10,000kg state

It was then the rumble from before started up again, swiftly followed by Alvida crashing through one of the remaining buildings 'Damn it Luffy, control your girlfriend, or at least get her to stop tearing the town apart' Zoro grumbles

'She's not my… ah forget it' Luffy throws up his hands before heading over to where Alvida is, since they last saw her she had stopped yelling, instead just a pit of silent rage

The downward swing of her mace was about as (in)effective as the last time she did it, what was surprising was that Luffy's return jab to her ribs slid right off her skin and embedded itself in the wall for a moment

'The fuck, I thought Luffy could interact with her' Zoro thinks aloud, to which Kaos shrugs and Vivi looks confused

'Maybe ALL attacks slide off her, maybe her mood effects her fruit's power. We just don't know' their thoughts were interrupted by Luffy flying through the air and landing in front of them 'That I did see coming though, doesn't matter if does no damage, the energy behind that mace would send a man flying from an upward or even a side swing' he smirks as Luffy bounces up as if nothing happened and proceeded to plant his fist in Alvida's gut once more (Good thing Sanji's not around to see that) the blood soaked beauty skids across the street till she smashed into a wall

This continued for longer than it should have but less time than it felt to the spectators: Alvida tosses Luffy around with swings of her mace, while Luffy returns with strikes to her flat stomach and face (the sole strike to her chest, her breasts bounced the attack back and had him basically punch himself in the face). Eventually it comes down to the final blow…

'Calm the FUCK down!'

…delivered by Nami to the back of both of their heads, causing them to slam headfirst into the pavement and Vivi to come this [] close to wetting herself as those 2 had been wrecking the place with little damage being done to each other, even taking out 5 and Valentine's Day when they tried to counterattack, and showed no signs of stopping… and this ginger slip of a girl took both of them out in 1 punch.

'Sorry Nami' the 2 grumble, causing Kaos and Zoro to snigger behind Vivi (who was too worried to notice her missing companion)

'We have more important things to do than fight each other, what was that even for anyway?'

Luffy shrugs 'Alvida was on a rampage, seemed like a good idea at the time'

'And how did that happen?' Nami asks, the others also curious as to the cause

Alvida sighs but looks elsewhere 'I lost my temper. I was following the guys to try find and assist Zoro when I spotted a group of them sneaking around our mossheaded friend. So hoping to cut them off I skidded in front of them, hefted my mace and told them they stood no chance against the might of Iron Mace Alvida. They laughed, they fucking laughed' at this Alvida clenches her fists 'The apparent leader of the group pulls out my bounty and says how if I was trying to pretend to be a fearsome pirate to pick one I actually resemble like Nico Robin or Boa Hancock (Why I'm comparing her to those babes I don't know… oh yeah Nami's still quite flat chested at the moment compared to post time skip Nami, same for Vivi) rather than this fat fuck. Then the bastard told me to run along while they dealt with the others, said he'll find a use for me when they're done. He didn't last another 5 seconds, at which point I saw red and zoned out until I tasted pavement a minute ago'

'You called it' Zoro mutters and Kaos nods in amusement

Alvida sighs as she drops her mace 'I need a break, go soak my head or something. Call me when we actually have a plan on what to do next' she mutters and walks off slowly, the others sweatdrop then shrug. With the moment of silence Nami turns to Vivi

'Now, what was this about you being a princess in need of transportation?' she asks with a grin that worries the princess

Vivi blinks 'Yes, that's true' she begins

'Great. We'll bring you there… for a price. How does a billion beri sound?' Nami asks, eyes already shifting into beri symbols

'Oh no' the guys groan

Vivi sighs 'Thanks but no thanks, though I appreciate what you've done for me already'

Nami blinks 'Why not? You're a princess and these idiots are crazy strong, plus I doubt you're hurting for money'

'Do you know anything about the kingdom of Alabasta miss Navigator?' Vivi asks

'Nope'

'Just heard about it today'

'Not in any of my books, sorry'

The bluenette sighs once more 'My homeland was a good place, a peaceful one. But now… Now we're caught in the grip of Civil War. There were murmurs of discontent in recent years but it all came to a head a little while ago and the entire island is a mess of chaos and despair. Then I discovered that someone else was pulling the strings, tearing my kingdom apart using it's own citizens. Baroque Works. Think about it, why else would a princess join a shady mercenary company like this if not to uncover their secrets and discover why they're trying to raise my homeland to the sand it started as. So I went to Igaram and managed to convince him to help me infiltrate the company. Their stated goal is to make an ideal nation, but their boss's true plan is to take over Alabasta! I won't let him do this, I NEED to get back and warn everyone'

Nami groans before nodding 'That makes sense, unfortunately. No money lying around during an upheaval as bad as you make this sound'

'So did you find out who this Mr. 0 guy is?' Luffy asks giddily, causing Vivi to pale

'I can't tell you, your life is in danger as it is simply associating with me. If you knew I'd made myself an enemy of one of the 7 Warlords, against Sir Crocodile you'll have targets on your backs too' she then realises what she said and quickly covers her mouth

'Crocodile's Mr 0?' They yell, few noticing a vulture and otter appear when they said that

'Hey Luffy, do we get a raise for taking down a Warlord?' Kaos asks with a smirk

'You… You'll do it? Even if it means fighting a Warlord?' Vivi asks in shock

'Yep. We're going to do this. Onward to Alabasta!'

'Nope, no way, na ah, I didn't join this crew to charge headfirst into a Warlord's blades. I'm out of here' Nami bluntly declares before running in the opposite direction

'She does know the only way off the island is the Going Merry right?' Luffy asks, to which both Kaos and Zoro shrug, neither knew, nor wanted to know what went on in the ginger thief's head.

After at least 10 minutes of standing around for the guys and Vivi, Nami finally returns, notable tear tracks down her cheeks

'It's no use, they'll come for us no matter what because we know the secret now' she clenches her fists and tries to put on a brave face (the older crewmates, aware of her cowardly nature were actually impressed by the attempt) 'our best chance… no our only chance is to keep going forward. We're probably screwed either way, but this way we might just win' she states, managing to stop her knees knocking.

'Why are we screwed?' Alvida asks, coming back to the group now she had fully calmed down

'The Shichibukai Sir Crocodile is the Mr. 0 Vivi has to take down to save Alabasta from Baroque Works' Kaos explains, getting a punch to the head from Nami, but still grinning like a loon

'You idiot!' she shrieks as a vulture and sea otter appear on one of the nearly low walls…

 **Traptrix: Game Over!**

… Before being promptly eviscerated by a curtain of razor wire that escaped Hebi, currently held vertically in a reverse grip

'That should buy us a few hours at best but Crocoman will hear about Whiskey Peak, be it from 5 and Valentine's Day or whoever Alvida didn't use to redecorate the island with. Let's go' he says, returning Hebi to it's khopesh form and walking back towards the ship, Luffy running to get their still sleeping crewmates, while the others followed the 1st mate

Running into the building they'd been allowed crash in Luffy found the others exactly where they'd left them: Kaya curled up against Usopp, his hand resting protectively on her hip, while Sanji quietly snored while doing a good impression of a starfish

Not feeling they had time to wake them gently Luffy just grabbed Sanji by the leg and Usopp by the nose before dragging them back to the Merry. Having rolled out of Usopp's embrace in the scuffle Kaya watched for a moment before tiredly rising to her feet and walking in the direction their idiot captain took the others

'Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow'

 _Meanwhile_

'Princess!' The others (the ones not with Luffy right now) turn and immediately wish they didn't as Igaram was standing in an outfit almost identical to Vivi, carrying 3 large sandbags under his arms 'I have a plan'

'I really hope it explains the outfit or I'm stabbing you in the kidney' Kaos grumbles

'Actually it does. Sooner or later Baroque Works intelligence will learn of what happened here and given you know the Boss's identity…'

'…they'll send at least 1,000 agents' Vivi finishes

'Exactly. So dressed like this I'd disguise myself as you and sail straight back to Alabasta, meanwhile you'll go with this crew and take the long way using the Log Pose to island hop home. I'll pass on the information if I get there, but failing that I'll at least be able to stop them following you'

'Hey Kaos looks like the old guy just made your plan better' Zoro jokes

'Good, then if we're all in agreement let us depart. Vivi, the Eternal Pose to Alabasta' he asks and the bluenette reaches into her pockets and pulls out a Log Pose/Hourglass hybrid

'What's an eternal pose?' Nami asks

'You don't know?'

'East Blue natives the lot of us, don't need them back home'

Igaram nods in understanding 'Oh, well an eternal pose is similar to a log pose except where a log pose changes as you travel, directing you to the next one in the chain, and eternal pose is permanently locked, in this case it will always point in the direction of Alabasta'

'Like a compass pointing North'

'More or less. No I must say goodbye, and see you soon Vivi' he is surpsied to receive a brief hug from the princess before she is standing straight and regal

'We will see you soon, Igaram, until then good luck' the man smiles and makes his way to the boat he'd already prepared

'How long do you think he'll last?' Alvida asks just outside Vivi's hearing

'Not long, they want Vivi dead not captured, they could blow the ship out of the water with no worries' Kaos answers, though like the smooth human he was curious as to how far the Captain will get, and how long he'll be able to be a decoy/distraction for Vivi/their movements.

Unfortunately for everyone the researcher was right, the ship not even making it to the horizon when it was engulfed in a massive explosion. This spured everyone to move as quickly as possible, except Vivi who had turned catatonic due to witnessing Igaram's fiery demise. In the end Nami and Alvida just shoved her in the direction of the Going Merry

 _Back to regular time_

Kaos stops and his lips curl into a smirk just as he steps onto the Merry deck, though only Zoro who had climbed/jumped up the side of the ship (paraphrasing he said 'Ramps are for pussies') saw it.

'Why'd you stop, we're in a hurry?' Nami ask/yells before she yelps as Luffy, Sanji and Usopp speed past, Kaya following much more slowly

'Let's go!' Luffy orders, while the other guys groan as they try get their bearings

'Wait, what about Carue?' Vivi asks, worried about her spotted duck

'You mean this thing? Got here before we did' Zoro replies, pointing to the duck standing behind him

'You were going to abandon me here weren't you, you little bitch?' Vivi yells with pointed teeth, breathing deeply she turns to Nami 'There's a tributary that should get us to open ocean much quicker, it starts over there'

'Got it' Nami nods and runs to the controls, meanwhile Alvida explains the situation to Kaya, Usopp and Sanji (Well she knocks the guys out for their yelling and complaining and slowly explains everything to Kaya, who as expected looks about ready to loose her lunch) and everyone else makes sure the Merry doesn't crash into the edges of the waterway in the thick fog

'Hey the fog's clearing, think that mean we're out?' Luffy asks

'Yeah, open ocean, now we just need to island hop to Alabasta' Vivi says with the first relaxed smile she'd had in quite a while

'That was some mighty fine manoeuvring, any less and we could've been torn to shreds' a thickly southern accented female muses with a vocal smile

'Thanks' Nami says with a smirk… until she realises (along with everyone else) that they didn't recognise the voice. Turning around they saw a tall, busty woman in a cowgirl hat, thick white furry coat and skimpy purple outfit grinning down at them, Vivi turning a pale shade of green when she recognised the woman

'Okay that's the rigging secured… oh hey Robin' Kaos says as he steps away from the mast, his grin widens when her smile falls and the Alabastan tan drains from her naturally pale features

'How do you know Miss All Sunday/that name?' Vivi and the now named Miss All Sunday ask, the latter losing all traces of her accent.

'In order, I didn't know she was Miss All Sunday, whatever that means, and…' he pulls out his bounty book from his cape, stopping somewhere near the end '…Neither Robin nor Miss All Sunday wear masks, so identification is simple' he then pulls out and shows them Nico Robin's bounty poster, and they can clearly see it's the woman above them

'That's from 6 months ago' Robin gasps in surprise

'I like to keep my records up to date, was a little embarrassed when I found out Arlong had got a 2 million increase while I wasn't looking. It's an honour to meet the 'Devil's Child' Nico Robin, don't see many 80 million criminal just walking around'

'What a coincidence, that's how much we are worth' Luffy says with a chuckle (It actually is a coincidence, I didn't plan it for their combined bounty to equal 80 mill, just be more than canon because they beat Kuro, as well as killed him and Arlong)

'Can we get back to the important part, who's Miss All Sunday?' Nami asks, Vivi answering

'High rank agents work in pairs, the men are numbered, and the women have days. Miss All Sunday, she's partnered with Mr. 0'

Crocodile!'

'Yes. She's the only person allowed know his identity, it's actually how we learnt it, by tailing her'

'Fufufu. You mean I let you follow me, you think your sloppy tail wouldn't be noticed by someone like me, who's been on the run since my preteens. I lead you to Crocodile, mostly to see what you'd do'

'See what I'd do?' Vivi shrieks, clenching her fists 'It was you who told Crocodile we knew then, wasn't it?' she asks, already knowing the answer

'Why of course, after all I'm not just 0's partner but his spymaster too. Mi talents make it rather easy these days. Ask Igaram if you need confirmation'

'It was you! You killed him!' Vivi yells, everyone reaching for their weapons, even Usopp and Sanji appearing armed and ready to deal with the threat, slingshot and pistol in hand respectively

'Sanji, any idea what's going on?' Usopp asks

'Nope, but it's clear this one's a problem, and dangerous' the cook replies

Robin's smirk returns as she crosses her arms 'Y'all need to calm yer tits' she says and the pirates yelps and drop their weapons, then Luffy's hat flies off his head into the air and Sunday puts it on over her cowgirl hat 'How do I look?'

'Give that back, it's my hat!' Luffy yells, Sunday grins then her eyes widen when the hat bounces off her head and flies back to the Captain, who laughs 'See, my hat likes me better'

Luffy notices Robin turn an angry glare to Kaos, the only one still smiling (and given his weapon attaches itself to him, the only one still holding theirs) and he sees as she clenches her fist he brings his hand to his throat. What looked to be a twitch of his fingers and Sunday releases, wriggling the fingers of her right hand.

'Anyway, you can unclench princess, Ruffles is still alive and on his way to Alabasta, that was just a message, mostly that we won't be fooled by such poor deception, if you thought a cross dresser and some sandbags were going to even distract us you're an idiot. Also I wanted you to actually get there in time to try stop us I have a little gift for you' she tosses a log pose to the captain who catches it easily 'That's an eternal pose to an island just before Alabasta known as Nanimonai island, once there your log will adjust and get you to the end of your journey in 3 days at most'

'No' Luffy yells, crushing the pose to Robin's surprise, Vivi and Nami's shock, horror and anger, and amusement on the part of Kaos and Zoro, having expected nothing less 'I am the captain of this ship so when I say we're going the normal way without shortcuts we're doing that'

'Fufufufufu. You are an interesting boy Straw Hat' Sunday says with a grin before turning to Vivi and her grin turns into a twisted smirk 'Little heads up princess, the next island on your journey, is Little Garden. That's why I'm not here to kill you all…' she pauses at the snort/scoff from the expected Straw Hats '…because you're not a threat to Crocodile's plan. Good luck though' she waves before jumping over the edge of the ship, when the pirates go check they see her sitting on the back of a giant turtle (which had it's own massive cowboy hat) as it paddles away

'Well that happened. Nami set a course for Little Garden' Luffy orders, the ginger nods and runs to the controls, while he leads his 1st mate to the front 'So?'

The purplette smiles 'Every user to set foot on this ship has been paramecia' he replies

Luffy nods 'So she IS a Devil Fruit user, but you already knew that' it was a statement not a question

'Yes and what a skilled user she is, like you she takes a seemingly weak and simple ability and uses it to great effectiveness'

'Then it'll be interesting when we meet next' he then grins widely 'I noticed you didn't actually have to check the book to know who she was'

'You're point being?'

'Nothing, just don't get in over you head. Shishishi' Luffy chuckles before walking away, Kaos sighing deeply and hopes the evening hides the pink of his cheeks, either that or they'll presume it's from partial asphyxia.

 _With Robin a little later_

'Those pirates are odd but I kind of want to see them again' Robin muses as a messenger bat flies over and drops off a letter. Confused but also curious she opens the letter and reads it, her eyebrows raise and her teeth clench 'That bastard Crocodile, she shouldn't be there, he promised she…' the thoughts fade as Robin pinches the bridge of her nose, she should have seen this coming, Crocodile only cares about Crocodile, he only keeps promises when it was useful to him, with Operation Utopia so close to fruition he probably didn't care anymore and with how close she was to completing her own goals she was going to let it slide.

Anything happens to Artemis though… she would remind him she was a master assassin and deal with this threat

TBC

LW: Well one more arc done, also sorry this wasn't put up at the usual time, it just wasn't done. I want to blame my birthday being last week, or getting a Switch, but honestly it just wasn't finished in time. Luckily it's still the same day, so hopefully nobody minds that badly.

Techniques

Miss All Sunday/Nico Robin: Eater of the ? ? no mi.

Whatever the Hell she used to disarm everyone (Makes sense when he fruit gets revealed in Alabasta)

However she blew Igaram to kingdom come (Seriously, how did she do that? Anyone who knows please tell me)

 _Mr. 5_ Eater of the Bomu Bomu no mi/ Bomb Bomb fruit

 **My Nose Fancy Cannon** : 5 flicks a piece of snot at his opponent, which explodes on contact thanks to his Devil Fruit

 _Miss Valentine's Day_ Eater of the Kilo Kilo no mi/ Kilo Kilo fruit (Don't need a translator for that one)

 **10,000 kilo press** : Valentine increases her weight to its highest level, and then tries to crush her enemy as she drops out of the sky.

 _Kaos_

 **Traptrix: Game Over!** – The razor wire produced by Hebi's _**Traptrix**_ form shred its target in a inescapable curtain of death (I'll admit it's a Saw reference, just because it seemed like a good idea at the time)


	25. Little Garden more like Jurassic Park

LW: Here we go, the Little Garden Arc and more canon divergence, yay!

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Little Garden… more like Jurassic Park

'So what do you think the problem with Little Garden is? I mean Miss All Sunday says it neutralises the threat we pose to Crocodile's plans so it must be bad' Kaya asks the group, the trip from Whiskey Peak a lot calmer than the one to it.

'Maybe it's full of vicious monsters, or cannibalistic amazons' Usopp panics, causing a shiver to shoot down the spines of half the crew… while Kaos hums and shrugs

'That's not it… well I suppose it could be, but when Robin gave us the Eternal Pose she said it was so we'd show up in time to do something, so I think the problem is something much simpler, but also outside out control. The Log Pose need time to adjust to each island's magnetic signature and point to the next one, so what if the problem is it takes weeks or even months to record Little Garden's?' at the question Vivi pales

'So he could destroy my kingdom and I'd be helpless to stop them?' she whimpers

'It's just a theory, but we don't know anything so it's all we got' the purplette backtracks, trying to appease the light blue haired princess. It wasn't much but he had more things on his mind than Vivi's feelings, like the 2 prescience's that the ship had picked up in Whisky Peak, and were still nudging his sense. He just didn't know if it meant they had a shadow or stowaways.

' _Not that it matters'_ the 1st mate thinks _'until we deal with Crocodile we're going to have them and the other agents gunning for us'_

Those musings were interrupted by the appearance of a giant dolphin, spurring everyone to get their asses in gear, then the appearance of Little Garden on the horizon, which at least gave them a target.

The island at first glance appeared to be that of a thick rainforest, with little in the way of visible fauna due to all the trees along the edge of the river they used to enter the island proper. It didn't last forever though as they caught sight of and were then sqiftly attacked by a large bird like creature which quickly flew away when it failed to capture any of them. Then there was the giant tiger which stalked the Merry for a spell before being attacked by a smaller but still large reptile which made swift work of it.

'All in favour of staying put on the boat till the pose resets say I' Usopp yells, getting immediate ' **I** 's from Nami and Kaya just as the Merry stops, Zoro throwing out the anchor to keep her from floating away before they needed to go.

'This place is… so cool!' Luffy cheers, then quickly turns to his cook 'Sanji, 2 pirate lunchboxes, I'm going exploring'

'Can we come too Luffy?' Vivi asks, surprising everyone, most of all Carue, who was a little annoyed she had been volunteered by her princess to go onto the dangerous island when she could just stay here and sleep

'Okay'

Kaos pulls himself to his feet, brushing dust off his pants 'Well I've got nothing better to do, I think I'll tag along'

'What? We're stuck on a mysterious island of death…and you want to explore?' Usopp yells

'Yep'

'Pretty much'

'Quack'

'Got it in one long nose'

'Ahh, why would they do something this crazy? Plus Luffy and Kaos are some of our best fighters, but I guess as long as…'

'I'm heading out too, need to replenish our food stores given these 2 endless stomachs' Sanji says as he passes backpacks to _**Team Exploration**_ , Luffy grinning unapologetically while Kaos smirks and makes a joke about being a growing lad.

'If I find anything good should I bring it back?' the reflect human asks

'Nah, I'll be fine, plus Zoro volunteered to assist' the swordsman chuckles

'Actually I said I could catch a bigger beast than you, then almost swallowed your cigarette at the speed you entered my personal space to tell me I was deluded'

'Shut up marimo!' Sanji growls, nearly head butting the teen

'Make me swirly brow'

'Bring me meat! Good luck guys' Luffy orders then grinning widely as he hops off the ship, Vivi following on Carue and a still sniggering Kaos not far behind

'We're stuck on a dangerous island and they've left us alone and defenceless' Usopp sobs, till Kaya taps his shoulder

'Not all the hard hitters as gone, Alvida's staying on the ship' she says, trying to raise his spirits

'She's right; no way am I walking through the woods unless I need it. I'm using the free time for a little sunbathing but yeah I'll lend a hand if there's any threat to the ship' the former captain says as she sets up a deck chair and pulls out a book

Nami nods 'Yeah Usopp, we'll be fine till at least Sanji and Zoro return with food'

The sniper nods and stands up 'You're right, there's nothing to worry about I guess I was being silly' the trio laugh until they hear a small thump. Turning they see Alvida passed out and lightly snoring, her book having slid off her smooth stomach and her hat having joined it on the floor.

'Seriously? She's asleep!'

'No way, that's faster than Zoro!'

'Think she's narcoleptic?' Nami asks the remaining crew

Kaya shakes her head 'No, we'd have noticed before now if she was. This is most likely her body reacting to the 1st proper chance to rest since we entered the Grand Line' the ship doctor/gunslinger then gains a thoughtful look 'I'm actually surprised she's the only one: Zoro, Kaos and Luffy didn't exactly get any sleep either and Vivi had to remain awake to spring that trap as Miss Wednesday. Add to that the stress of a death sentence over our heads, it's quite exhausting'

 _With Team Explorers_

'It's a dinosaur!' Luffy cheers, clapping his hands rapidly while Vivi, Carue and Kaos were shocked to silence, the tall 1st mate for once not having a comment yet.

When the shock finally waned he grinned widely, laughing and grabbed the rubber captain 'You some know how to pick 'em Lu Sesese' Vivi noticing the brothers joyful expressions were nearly identical

' _They're treating this like it's a pleasure cruise. Are they stupid, insane or just that strong?_ ' she wondered before getting a new reason to loose her mind.

'I'm going to go ride it' Luffy declares, shooting his arms up to grab the brachiosaurus by the top of its neck and springing up to land on its head. Kaos facepalms but chuckles while Vivi sits on Carue's back, her jaw hitting the duck's back while her eyes go pure white

'That boy is going to get himself killed, or worse all of us killed' the princess begins to panic until she feels Kaos' bony fingers on her shoulder

'Don't worry about Luffy, sure he seems like a reckless idiot and sometimes that's true, but he's too stubborn to die' the purplette explains, watching the straw hat captain bounce from one angry dinosaur to the other, not a care in the world. That was until one of them manages to swallow him, Kaos not needing to look to know Vivi was glaring at him, the word ' _ **See!**_ ' implied in her eyes

 **CHOP** _**YUG YUG YUG YUG**_

A massive sword slices through the dinosaurs neck, falling to the ground just in front of Kaos and Vivi with a loud crash. A moment later Luffy comes out the end, looking really confused

'That was weird' he says, mostly to himself, but the 3 others agreed whole heartedly 'Hey, when'd he get here?' Luffy asks, causing them to turn in the direction he was looking at which point Vivi's heart decided to try escape out her mouth

Standing, watching them was a giant at least 12 metres tall, best described as being basically a Viking, down to the thick greying brown beard on his pointed face, nearly reaching his belt.

'Yug yug yug. You little people are very brave and a lot of fun to watch you grapple the long necks' the giant says with a huge smile

Now given they (being Luffy and Kaos) grew up in the East Blue, it had been quite a while since anyone called Kaos _**little**_ , so his 1st reaction… was to laugh

'Is he okay?' the giant asks, Luffy waving his hand dismissively

'He'll be fine, it's just he's the tallest guy we've ever met before you. What's your name by the way?'

The giant flexes his muscles before raising his sword into the air 'I'm Dorry, greatest warrior in all of Elbaf and don't let anyone tell you different'

'That's so cool! Wait, where's Elbaf?' Luffy asks

'Elbaf is the home of the giants, on an island deep in the New World' Dorry explains 'Come eat with me new friends, we don't get visitors to Little Garden'

The pirates put it to a vote, Luffy eagar for giant food, Kaos not having issues as Dorry seemed nice enough and Carue couldn't vote, meaning Vivi was out numbered and followed the guys back to the giant's lair.

 _Dorry's home in the mountain_

'FOOD!'

Luffy pounces like a wild animal, his rubber jaws enabling him to swallow the massive chunks he tears off. Kaos had to use one of Hebi's larger forms to cut it due to the sheer size of the chunk of dinosaur meat in front of him, passing some to a reluctant Vivi before having his own, Carue was fine with the drink Sanji made her so simply sat beside the princess, ready for the 1st sign of danger, to run for her life.

'Mr. Giant, it must be pretty lonely here on your own, why are you here by the way?' Luffy asks curiously, the other 3 also interested

'Yug yug yug. I'm not alone' Dorry laughs

'You're not'

The giant shakes his head 'Nope, there's another giant on Little Garden, his name is Broggy. As for why we're here, it's to fight'

'What?' Vivi yells 'Why?'

'We're not allowed fight in Elbaf, it angers our Gods, if 2 giants have a disagreement that can't be settled any other way they are set away to another island and only 1 will leave, the victor decided by the will of the gods and granted their divine protection. We've been fighting for the last 100 years'

'100 years! It must be really important to keep fighting for this long'

'Actually, I've forgotten what we were fighting about, it's been so long' Dorry admits with a slight chuckle, causing Kaos and Luffy to laugh and Vivi to groan

'If you can't remember why you're here then just stop and go home'

'No, even if we don't remember the reason the fact Broggy and I are even here proves how serious it must have been. Plus this is a sacred duel, to back out dishonours the Gods of Elbaf, as well as both our families'

'But…'

'Vivi' the princess turns to the taller straw hat 'This is clearly a wide cultural difference between you both but you should let him follow his traditions unhindered. I'm sure if I knew anything about Alabasta I'd be able to point out things I viewed as flaws in the traditions of the sand people as an outsider, I mean besides making Crocodile a Sir even you know that was a bad idea, but they won't make you charge your mind or ways' he smiles as the bluenette looks thoughtful, then winces at the light punch to the kidney Luffy gives him 'Hey!'

'That wasn't nice calling Vivi a sand person'

'Actually it's fine, in the old tongue that's the name of the island before the Nefetari family took over and named it Alabasta, ' **Sunagakure** ' the people of the sand' Vivi explains

'Oh, okay then'

 _Back on the Merry_

'G-G-G-GIANT!' Usopp yells, as a large and rotund man with a bushy beard and wide grin crashes out of the forest.

'Usopp stop yelling, holy shit, whoop' Alvida groans before seeing the giant and slipping off the chair

'Hi I'm Broggy, do you have any booze? I drank mine and people don't come by very often so I hope you have some' the giant booms

Usopp and the girls look to one another 'The only thing we have big enough for him is the cleaning alcohol, but that's not something that's meant to be drunk'

'Just give it to him, worst case he doesn't like the taste' Nami argues, wanting to make the giant go away as quickly as possible

Any arguments were cut off my Broggy's loud yell, turning they see a T-Rex (to which they have the expected freak-out) had decided to chomp down on the giant's butt, in response Broggy takes his axe off his belt an swings, removing the dinosaur's head rather easily

'Holy shit'

'I'll go get the alcohol just one moment' Usopp yells, speeding into the bowels of the ship to retrieve it

'Thanks, hey why don't you come with me, let me feed you as thanks' Broggy offers happily 'I just caught dinner after all, so you know the meat will be fresh' he grins as he holds the T-Rex head above him 'Yababababa'

'Oh we'd love to but…'

'Yeah sure'

'I got no problems'

'WHAT!' Nami screams at Kaya and Alivda, Usopp meanwhile stunned into silence

'Broggy seems like a nice guy, it wouldn't be polite to refuse' Kaya explains

'I'm just hungry and who knows when Sanji and Zoro will come back with food, this is my best chance to eat before nightfall' Alvida answers bluntly

'Yabababababa/ It's settled, let's go so I can feed my new friends, and get drunk for the first time in many years' Broggy grins, placing his hand palm up on the deck of the ship

 _Later, at Broggy's camp_

'This is actually better than I expected' Alvida says, Broggy smiling as she digs into the meat with a speed only beaten by their captain, the other slab shared by Kaya, Usopp and Nami, all a bit leery about the giant staring down at them, though Kaya was at least trying to eat enough to show she appreciated the meal

'I agree, it turns out dinosaurs doesn't taste like anything in the East Blue' the blond responds to which the others nod

'Hey Mr. Broggy Sir, how long does it take for the log to reset for this island?' Nami asks, both to fill the dead air and find out how long they would need to remain on this death-trap

'One full year' the giant responds with his jolly tones, which made the statement even worse

'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!' was the only thing going through Nami's head before passing out, Usopp not far behind her but managing to somehow remain conscious, Kaya paled to a greenish grey while Alivda laughed thinking Kaos and Robin had been right, they were screwed not because of any nefarious plans, but because of the screwed up nature of the Grand Line itself

The volcano in the centre of the island began to rumble and explode, Broggy sits straighter and drops his meat before standing, Usopp shivers when he sees the steely gaze in his eyes 'I'm sorry to leave you little ones, but there's something I must attend to' he booms, picking up his axe and shield before walking off, the 4 stand and move to watch whatever was important enough to make the happy go lucky giant act so serious.

Turns out the cause was another giant, the 2 running towards one another, shaking the ground as they go before colliding with a thud of their blades against the other's shields.

'I have forgotten the reason for our brawl!' Dorry yells as he swings

'As have I!' Broggy responds, batting away the strike with his shield

'But I will still be victorious!' they both bellow, their very will felt wash across the island for a moment, that was the strength of their conviction.

TBC

LW: Giants are definitely not something to be trifled with in the OP universe, especially when you consider according to Oda, the minimum height for someone to be considered a true giant is 12m tall.

No lore, terms or other stuff this time, but there will be next time everyone, I grantee it

Miss Golden Week: Hi, did I come to the right place?

LW: Right place wrong week, but while you're here…

Miss GoldenWeek: Lonly doesn't own anything from One Piece other than Kaos, his associated bits and bobs (weapon, devil fruit etc) and OP versions of characters from other series, such as Captain Nylock Morgan and his crew to name but 3,


	26. Baroque Works rebellion, organised chaos

LW: Back to the island of giants and dinosaurs, here we go.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Baroque Works rebellion, organised chaos

It was strange but also impressive that even after a century of fighting those 2 could still lay into each other like they were in their prime, something which amazed, Kaos Luffy and surprisingly enough Usopp who couldn't take his eyes off the 2 warriors deadly dance. Concluding in one final blow as the volcano sounded once more, both giants slamming their shields into the others face.

'73,466 duel' Dorry begins

'73,466 draws' Broggy finishes as both keel over with a loud crash.

Yug yug yug yug

Yababababa

Interestingly enough it seemed the animosity the 2 giants had for one another was limited to their fights, as the 2 had no problem just lying there laughing to one another and talking civilly.

'Hey Dorry, a couple of guests of mine gave me some alcohol, want some?' Broggy asks

'Drinks? That sounds great, after so long I'll drink anything' Dorry answered with another laugh

 _A little later, with Dorry_

'Yug yug yug. So Broggy's new friends are also part of your crew?' Dorry asks, slowly draining his alcohol barrels

'Yep, Usopp, Nami, Kaya and Alvida. Guess they got a little cabin fever too' Kaos replies with his usual smirk, himself and Luffy still eating the giant's dinosaur meat

'Well if you're all here together, I guess I can thank you for the refreshments as much as them and Broggy'

'Dory, does it really take a year for the log to reset on Little Garden?' Vivi asks, wanting there to be some kind of misunderstanding at play here

The giant nods 'Yes. Didn't you notice the mounds of human skeletons lying around here?' he asks bluntly

'Actually I think she's been actively trying to ignore them' Luffy teases, words muffled by his full mouth

'Little Garden is hard to survive on for humans, some get eaten by dinosaurs, die of starvation, thirst of exposure, or even being stupid enough to attack myself or Broggy, doesn't matter, point is they all die here'

Vivi starts to break down into tears 'Even if we could somehow survive for a year, there's no telling what Crocodile could have done in that timeframe, Alabasta might not even exist any more' she blubs

'True, plus some of us don't exactly have that good attention spans, Kaos and me get bored easily. Is there any other way off this island Giant Guy?'

Dory sets down his barrel and sighs 'There is an Eternal Pose, but it's set to our homeland of Elbaf, you asked what we're fighting for, if you want to be materialistic you could say the pose and the way home is our prize. You can try take it, if you think you can beat me and Broggy'

Luffy frowns 'No, that won't work, we need one either to the next island or Vivi's island'

Dorry strokes his beard 'You could try sailing around randomly, should hit an island eventually, if you're lucky. That's all you need really, any island for the log to register'

Luffy looks to be thinking before bursting out laughing 'You're right, we could get lucky shishishi'

You could. Hey, you okay Tiny Girth?' Dory asks as Kaos silently pulls himself to his feet

The purplette nods 'Yeah I'm good, just need a walk' he replies with a wave of his hand and a smile, but only Luffy noticed it looked pinched

'Okay then, don't get dead Yug yug yug' Dory yells as the tallest straw hat wanders into the jungle

Kaos groans once he felt he was far enough distance ' _This is not good, Bomberman and Instant Weight loss were bad enough but there's another paramecia as well as what I suppose Luffy would call a mystery power, and I feel it… calling to me. What are you?_ ' he thinks, his lips turning into a crooked grin when he feels the strange prescience on it's own move away from the other agents, now was his chance

Following his senses to a clearing he found a girl in a sunhat drinking tea and munching on rice cakes. He must have made some noise because she turned and he saw her blank, young face and rosy cheeks

' _Damn, she's just a kid, how'd she get mixed up in Baroque Works?_ ' he thinks, a pang of sympathy hitting his heart, as she stands, twirling a paintbrush between her fingers

'This is not good' she says flatly, frowning

 **Colour Trap: Laughter Yellow**

 **Reflect Armour**

Kaos felt something pass through him and sighed in relief, glad his childhood had granted him quick reflexes. The girl looked confused, tilting her head before asking

'You're not laughing, You don't even feel like laughing do you?'

Kaos grins 'No more than usual' he then frowns when he realises his legs feel like lead and his arms swayed uselessly 'Hm, I may have stopped your attack, but I'm a little stuck' he muses

The painter gasps then smiles widely 'Really? Oh that would be so cool if I could get one of my colour traps to do it. But what to call it, Paralysing Purple? Freezing Fuchsia? Immobilising Indigo?'

Despite himself Kaos chuckles at her enthusiasm 'You are an odd one, but such an interesting mind indeed'

The girl smiles at this 'That's what Mama says too, she taught me the odd ones are the best'

'That they are kid, that they are. Hey what are you doing out here moping? Come on I'm basically a captive audience, you can tell me' Kaos asks with a sincere smile, which appeared to work on the girl

'I'm worried about mama, Crocodile isn't a nice man, he'll hurt her and I can't do anything to help her. I know she can hold her own, mama is awesome, but Crocoman is so bad, she might die'

'Hey kid…'

'Goldenweek, or Artemis I suppose, but only mama calls me that'

'Well Artemis, my Captain is going up against Crocodile and we're going to win. I promise you I will bring her back to you safe and sound' Kaos declares, surprised when a crying Goldenweek slams into him

'Thank you Papa! I know Mama will be safe with you' she mumbles, the purplette not sure how to process what just happened which was why he didn't notice till he held her close that her missile impression had smudged her paint.

'Yes she will, we look after out own. Nakama' he grins and Artemis mirrors it 'Now we just need to get off this island' at that her face falls again 'Hm?'

'That's why we're here, me and Mr. 3. We're supposed to take out the Straw Hats and report back. But you're going to help mama. I don't want to kill you and I don't want to go back to Crocodile after failing' she sniffles and bites her lips, then blinks when she feels Kaos hand rubbing her back

'It's fine, you won't have to, I bet you'll be an official Straw Hat once we get back to Luffy. Then you'll have nothing to worry about'

Artemis sniffles 'Really, you'd let me join, just like that?'

Kaos grins as he lets her stand 'Yep, that's how the others joined up, Luffy asked if they wanted to join and they eventually relented' the girl chuckles and begins to follow him back

 _Meanwhile with Broggy_

With his axe handle broken, Broggy had to fix himself a new one 'A brave warrior of the sea you say, what's that?'

'I want to be like you and Dorry' Usopp explains

'You want to be a giant?' Broggy asks in confusion 'Not sure there's even a Devil Fruit for that'

'That's not what I meant!' Usopp yells, meanwhile they girls all laugh at his expence 'I want to be brave and strong like you and the other Warriors of Elbaf'

'Oh' Broggy nods in understanding, continuing to work on his axe 'You know, even though our lifespans greatly exceed a human's, we still think about how we're going to die. We know everything we are and everything we make will fade to time, as it should, but if we die as a brave warrior, without compromising who we are, then we die with honour, and that would be an everlasting treasure. It something everyone in Elbaf wishes for' he explains, Usopp hanging off his every word.

This lovely moment was ruined by 2 explosions, originating within the alcohol barrels. Broggy was more confused than anything while Dorry had already drunken the tainted barrel and it went off in his stomach, causing severe damage

'Old Giant Guy! That was the same alcohol from the ship, why did it explode?' Luffy wonders aloud as he and Vivi try to check on Dorry

'Do you think the other giant could have tainted it?' Vivi suggests only to be imidiaely smacked down yb Luffy

'Were you not paying attention, these giants are honourable warriors, they would never approve of such tactics, they'd spit on you for even suggesting such a manouver'

'Then who do you think did it?'

'You stangers…' the 2 look up and see Dorry had pulled himself to his feet, just barely, blood dripping from his mouth into his beard '…Broggy wouldn't do something like this, he's a warrior or Elbaf, he has his pride and honour. So who else is there to suspect… but you?'

'Luffy we should go' Vivi begins but is once more cut off

'It won't do much good, here hold this' Luffy says seriously, passing his hat over to the confused bluenette

'You're going to fight Dorry?'

'Don't have much of a choice, man Kaos is going to be pisssssed he missed this' he smirks for a second before turning serious once more 'I don't want to, but we need to settle this, so here I come Dorry!'

The giant swings his sword, clearly slower and more erratically than when they watched him fight Broggy a little while ago, but still very dangerous had Luffy not jumped out of the way. Luffy tries to use one of his Gum Gum attacks, but his body was bounced off the giant's shield before he could even finish. Given the direct approach wasn't going to work, Luffy reached out to the trees on the other side of the clearing, extending his arms to do so, letting it pull him towards it, overshoot and use the energy from the journey over to shoot right back, slamming Dorry squarely in the chest.

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

Dorry drops his sword and nearly falls over, but manages to hold himself up long enough to stomp Luffy into the earth, Vivi shrieks as she worries the captain to be dead

'So, he ate one of the Devil Fruits' Dorry mumbles , blood soaked his lips and the top of his beard at this point in time 'I guess I underestimated him' was his final words before finally keeling over with a loud thump.

'Luffy!' Vivi yells in happiness when she see's the boy pull himself out of a Luffy shaped crater, inside a boot shaped crater 'Are you alright?'

'I'll be fine, it's him I'm worried about' Luffy replies, pointing to the unconscious giant 'How is he by the way'

'He'll be fine, you were right though, the fighting actually calmed him down somehow'

'Happened a lot back home, sometimes you just NEED to fight as a way to let off steam, Mama Dadan used to do so a lot, not to me or my brothers but the other guys we lived with, her gang' Luffy explains before standing up, his hat on his head and a frown on his face 'I on the other hand am not so calm. Dorry is right, Broggy wouldn't do something like this, there duels are important to them, to important to ruin by cheating like this. No, someone else is here and they ruined everything, spat in the face of these nice giants and their honour, their pride. Damn it Kaos you picked a shitty time to go for a stroll'

As the last 5 minutes haven't been going their way the volcano sounded, alerting both giants to the next duel, to which Vivi and Luffy grimaced, knowing Dorry was definitely in no condition to fight another giant if the straw hat captain was able to take him down. But still they heard it, the old giant pulling himself first to his knees and then his feet, retrieving his sword on the way.

'Stop this Dorry, you can't fight Broggy in this condition!' Vivi pleads but he ignores it

'It doesn't matter, this isn't simply an attack humans, this is a sign from our Gods, Broggy has been blessed and now I must go'

'What no! You can't just give up like that!'

Dorry laughs, but it sounded pained 'Yug yug yug, you really think I'd let Broggy win, I wouldn't dishonour my friend by handing him victory, he still needs to work for it' he then turns from the duo straining his muscles to lift the rock formation behind him… then dropping it on Luffy, pinning him to the ground

'Hey, what the Hell? Let me go!' Luffy yells as he squirms and flails

'I'm sorry little friend, but I can't allow you to stop me from continuing the duel. I am a warrior of Elbaf, that alone means I can't run from a fight, if I did, I wouldn't know who I was anymore. Goodbye' he then begins to slowly plod out towards the clearing him and Broggy had fought the last time in, ignoring Luffy and Vivi's attempts to get him to come back, or to free them.

'He's going to die'

'It's not right' Luffy growls 'Someone's interfering, everything's wrong. Dorry's going to die and it's not even his fault' the rubber boy sighs 'Vivi, take Carue and try get the giants' attention, there's nothing I can do until get free'

Vivi blinks before yelling 'Luffy are you insane?'

'Probably, but that's not important right now, getting them to stop their duel is'

The princess sighs, seeing she wasn't going to get through to Luffy so agreed, calling her duck before hopping onto her back 'This is a bad idea Lu, I'm not going to be able to do this alone'

'Then find the others'

Vivi sighs 'Okay, you stay safe here alright?'

'Not like I can go anywhere' Luffy grumbles as Carue runs off. Luckily he wasn't alone for long as Usopp came crashing through the forest, flying through the air and landing directly in front of him

'LUFFY! That God I found you, a dinosaur ate the girls!'

'What? Are you serious?'

'Yeah, one moment we were all together and the next I was all alone, I got my crewmates and best friend killed' Usopp falls to his knees and begins to wail

'Hey Usopp!' the long nose stops for a moment at the yell 'You didn't see them get eaten? Or hear a scream?' the sniper shakes his head 'Then they're not dead, just lost' Usopp perks up at this

'So they're alright?'

'As long as they didn't all get separated like you did they should be fine. I presume Kaya and Alvida brought their weapons even if Nami didn't'

Usopp nods 'Yeah, all the dinosaurs and other nasties, Kaya wouldn't leave the ship without them'

'Well, well, seems the giant may have just made our jobs easier' 5 says with a smile while Valentines Day cackles, the 2 entering the pirate's field of vision

'It was you, you did this! Interfering with the duel, taking our friends, everything' Luffy accuses, to which the agents smile just a little

'Correct Straw Hat, seems you're not a dumb as they claim you to be. Right now Mr. 3 is taking care of your friends, we can take our time with you' she chuckles as 5 steps forward to deliver an explosive kick to Luffy's face, throwing Usopp back with a **nose fancy cannon** when he reaches for his slingshot.

 **BOOM**

'Hm, you're a lot sturdier than I expected' 5 muses as a slightly blackened Luffy coughs up some soot and glares at him 'But it just means I'll have to be more forceful

 **Colour Trap: Freezing Fuchsia**

The 2 agents seize up as a bright pink design appears on their backs, Kaos and Artemis appearing from the tree line moments later

'Hey Captain, looks like you're in a tight spot. Also look what I found; she's followed me home can we keep her?' Both Kaos and Goldenweek try the puppydog pout, the younger obviously better at it than the elder.

'Sure, hey did she make them seize up like that?'

'Yep'

'Awesome! I always wanted an artist'

Kaos grins and turns to Artemis 'See, what did I tell you, official Straw Hat'

'Um Kaos… Luffy's still stuck under a mountain!' Usopp yells

Kaos sighs deeply 'Don't worry Usopp, I have this covered' his fists and forearms turn silver, flashing in the strong sun of Little Garden, just before he began punching around Luffy, only taking about 5 or so hits to do noticeable damage to the wall, though continued until there were deep cracks radiating from around Luffy's trapped form 'There we go' he says, smiling proudly, though frowns when he hears the agents chuckle 'What?'

'Doesn't matter if you beat us, there's still 6 more officer agents. And that's not even including Mr. 0…'

Kaos waves them off 'I don't care what you have to say about Crocodile, we're kicking his ass for Vivi and Artemis' he says, his declaration getting an odd response from the duo

'Crocodile's Mr. 0?'

'We've been working for that sell-out this whole time?'

Luffy looks confused 'Sell out?'

'Crocodile's a Warlord, an attack dog for the World Government through the Marines, therefore a puppet of the World Nobles' 5 explains bitterly 'Alabasta, it's the middle ground, the only group of Nobles that still live on the Line rather than their Ivory towers on the Red Line, in Mariejois'

'That's why you targeted it? Cause they're World Nobles?'

'Yes, or at least I thought we did' 5 answers unable to nod

'Yeah, they sit pretty while everyone suffers, they need to see the consequences of their ignorance' Valentines Day adds

Kaos' lip curls into a smirk 'Luffy, go kick Mr. 3's ass for interfering with the fight, I have an idea' the 2 Baroque Work agents gulp

'Still stuck here' Luffy points out to which Kaos just waves him off

'Just blow up, the wall should be weak enough now'

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

Just as the other boy predicted, the wall had been weakened significantly enough that as Luffy inflated he caused the surrounding wall to give way and move out of his way. Luffy didn't need to blow up to full size, just enough that when he deflated again he was able to crawl out

QUACK, quack, quack, quack

'Carue!' Luffy cheers, hugging the duck before a weight settles in his stomach 'Carue, where's Vivi?' the duck droops, quacking sadly while waving her wings in the direction of where Dorry and Broggy were fighting

'Like we said, Mr. 3 has captured the rest of your crew, and it seems the candle man has the princess too' 5 says, much more neutrally than before

Luffy clenches his teeth as Usopp stands and walks over to him 'Luffy?'

'I'm going to kick his ass! Who's with me?'

'I will' Usopp volunteers, wanting to help rescue his crewmates and follow his mentor Broggy's example

'Quack' Carue responds, nodding her head. Vivi was her friend, she was going to help

'Okay… Charge!' Luffy screams, running in the direction Carue just came, the other 2 following just slightly slower

'Your brother's insane' Valentine's day comments

'Oh that's a given' Kaos replies with a chuckle 'Now, I believe we have a few things to discuss…'

 _A couple minutes later_

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

Mr. 3 turns and jumps out of the way just in time to avoid Luffy shooting past him, catching Broggy's helmet on the way so he could stop

'You ruined everything! I'm going to kick your ass!' he yells at the agent who just smirks

'Luffy!' he turns and sees a giant cake/candle thing, stuck to the base were Vivi, Kaya, Zoro, Nami and Alvida (who looked to be spiked to the cake just like Broggy was to the ground).

'Hey guys' Luffy grins but recoils when they start yelling at him

'Mr. 3's trying to turn us into waxworks'

'Break the tower and get us loose!'

Luffy nods 'Got it, one wrecking crew coming up'

 **Gum Gum…**

 **Candle Wall**

… **Pistol**

Luffy goes for the direct approach as usual but 3 summoned wax from his arms, stopping it in it's tracks, followed by more wax to restrain the boy, though it only caught one of his arms

'Hey thanks, I needed something heavy and there weren't any rocks around to toss' Luffy says with a grin

'What is this idiot going on about?' 3 thinks then begins to panic when Luffy hops back onto Broggy's head and throws his candle trapped arm behind them

 **Gum Gum Sledgehammer**

 **Bam!**

The pillar breaks, practically explodes actually and the candles and their stand fall, during this Luffy's candle is shattered due to the impact. Unfortunately the section begins spinning again, faster than before

'Hahaha, you really thought that it would be that easy? All you've done is sped up the process' Mr. 3 laughs before sending out more wax to try ensnare Luffy

Luckily Luffy managed to hop his way out of the sticky wax's path 'We'll see about that' he growls, sending his arm back

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

… before slamming it directly into the Candle Man's face, sending him flying into the forest

'He took out Mr. 3 in one hit' Vivi gasps

'That's all well and good, but we still need him to get us out of here before we all become waxworks' Nami adds seriously

'Take out the pumpkin head and then we can worry about getting free' Alvida chimes in, looking to be getting twitchy without her mace around to try break them loose

'Don't worry guys. I've got this covered' Luffy says with a grin, throwing his arm back, twisting it as he does

 **Gum Gum Ri…**

'Oh no you don't!'

Luffy then takes a solid punch to the side, knocking him over and sending his attack off into the sky

'Ow, what hit me?' Luffy says, wincing as he stands

'That would be me StrawHat' 3 answers, now decked out in what looked to be mech armour

'Wow, that's so cool!'

'I forgot I already painted that' a female voice deadpans

3 turns 'Ah there you are Miss Goldenweek, glad to see you've finally arrived and here I thought you'd gotten lost' he says with a chuckle

Artemis shrugs 'Nope, just had tea and crackers with this guy. He seems nice' she smiles at the tall purplette, munching on a bag of crackers, looking at Mr. 3's Candle Making Deathtrap with a look of quiet contemplation

'Hm, did you say something? Here you go kiddo I have a weirdo to deal with' Kaos says, passing the bag to Artemis who grins and digs in

'Shishishi, you are definitely not Gramps' Luffy chuckles

'And why would I want to be that old grump anyway?'

'Hm, so you're another of Straw Hat's crew? I must have missed you earlier' Mr 3 says with a frown

Kaos smirks 'I could feel the heat of your candle wax half way across the island. You never stood a chance. Also I'm not the only crewmate you missed…'

 **Usopp sneak attack!**

Quack, Quack!

Mr. 3 back hands boy and duck into the cake with minimal effort on his part then turns his fists to Kaos

'All I missed wasn't worth making into statues, but I'm sure Mr. 0 will like proof you're dead'

 **Candle Trap**

 **Mirror Wall**

Wax meets mirrors and luckily mirrors win, compressing 3's wax back in on itself, so when Kaos releases his technique a hemisphere of semi solid wax drops to the ground

3 sneers 'Well that didn't work, I guess I'll just have to pound you into the ground'

 **Breeze Breath Bomb**

The explosion hits 3 in the chest, but his **Candle Champion** tanks it, meaning the agent was just annoyed

'Mr. 5, how could you turn traitor after all this time?'

5 shrugs before blowing into his gun, reloading its volatile payload 'You forget that while quite loyal to the cause, Baroque Works Agents are still mostly bounty hunters and mercenaries. Without giving away sensitive information, let's just say Miss Valentine's Day and I got a better offer' he unloads into the candle man, but 3 blocks it with his armoured fist

'Wait… Miss Valentine's Day's betraying us too?'

The lemon girl chooses this moment to join in the action 'So what do we do now?' Valentine's Day asks as she drops down beside Usopp

'I think I have a plan, but I have a question first. Mr. 3's candle wax, while super strong, it's still wax right?'

Valentine clicks her tongue before nodding 'As far as I know yes, while stronger than the real thing, substances produced by Devil Fruits still retain most of their properties and behaviours. Why?'

'Because my plan involves getting this rope lit' he announces, holding the end of a length of rope

The lemon themed blond looks at him before shrugging and grabbing the end of rope 'Oy lads, we need a light here' she yells, waving the end of rope at them

Mr. 5 turns just after reloading 'You got it then' he says, aiming for the rope… (Which Valentina luckily held away from her)

 **Breeze Breath Bomb**

… but is intercepted by Mr. 3 who blocks it with his candle armour

'Did you really think that was going to work? Whatever idiotic scheme you have going on is no match for my superior intellect and battleizer. Those fools on the candle have another minute or 2 left to live, but you won't even last that long

 **Candle…**

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

Whatever 3 planned to do, it was interrupted by Luffy's fist planting itself in his unprotected face (1st Pearl now Mr 3, why make so called invincible armour and not protect your face?) knocking the crazed artist onto his back

'Done'

'That didn't help at all' Usopp argues until Valentine puts her hand on his shoulder

'Actually he did, Mr. 3's candle fruit works in 2 ways, he can produce wax from his body and his hair functions as a wick, sustaining and producing fire. Sure it's not as strong as the Mera Mera no mi, but it's all he needs. We just need to cause his hair to light up and then we're done and as he said we need to act quickly'

'I got this' Artemis announces placing her hand on the chest on the mech style suit.

 **White Out**

The paint dribbles onto the ground like water, exposing the wax underneath

'My turn' Valentine says, getting a boost from Mr. 5 in order to jump into the air

 **1kg bounce**

 **500kg stomp**

Her attack shattered the wax suit and giving a glancing blow to his ribs (she's trying to hurt him, not kill him after all). The agent's eyes bulge and he screams in pain, hair erupting into flames and igniting the oil soaked rope Usopp had Carue wrap around the candle Death Trap

As Usopp predicted, 3's wax, while stronger than steel, still maintained the properties of wax such as melting while under direct heat… or being on fire in this case. The statue began to drip, lost its shape before finally falling apart, freeing the trapped Straw Hats, Vivi as well as Broggy

'Everyone's free!' Luffy cheers

'And on fire' Artemis points out, causing the remaining Straw hats & Carue to run over and assist putting their friends out

'How'd we get stuck with these idiots Vic?' Valentine's Day asks off to the side

'The tall one made a compelling case, plus Goldenweek is a good judge of character Val' Mr 5 replies

'Fair point'

'YOU BASTARDS!' Everyone turns to see a burning mad Mr. 3, his hair forming a burning 3 in his anger 'You've destroyed my Magnum Opis, my Masterpiece. Oh you don't deserve to become part of my art, you and the traitors can drown in my candle…'

'Luffy'

'On it'

 **Gum Gum Bazooka!**

Luffy's strike slammed into the remaining officer agent, sending him flying away with a twinkle

'And we're done' Luffy sighs in relief, before flopping onto his back on the ground

'Yababababa. Thank you humans, for saving me, and for showing a duel of this magnitude the honour and respect it deserves' Broggy booms, then his smile falls as he turns to the prone form of his friend _'Dorry, I'm sorry I didn't beat you fairly, but you fought with honour as a warrior always should'_ he thinks, tears flowing freely… well until Dorry got up

'Ow, who turned on the rain?' the giant grumbles as he sits up, scaring the shit out of everyone

'Dorry! You're alive?' Broggy asks, half happily half in confusion

'I must have passed out or something. Guess you win this round. Hey all the humans are here too, did I miss something?'

'Nothing much' Luffy replies, causing the giant to shrug in an oh well kind of gesture

'How are you still alive?' Kaya asks

'The Axe, it's lost its edge. After all these years, it's no longer strong enough to land a killing blow like that, I doubt my sword can do so either' Dorry explains

'Oh what a wonderful day, glad to have you back Dorry Yabababa'

'You idiot, keep of my shoulder, you nearly cut it off Yug yug yug yug'

The giant's reunion quickly devolved into lightly punching each other while laughting, enabling the humans to finally talk

'So, we picked up some more strays?' Zoro asks, referring mostly to Artemis sitting on Kaos' lap, but also Mr.5 and Miss Valentine's day standing behind him

'Correct. Serpens offered us a tempory position on the ship in exchange for helping to deal with your croc problem' Valentine's Day answers

'Is he allowed do that?' Vivi asks Alvida who nods

'He's the first mate, if he does it in Luffy's name and the captain doesn't veto it he can basically do what he likes' she responds, surprising Vivi by the level of control the elder straw hat technically had, even if it was subject to Luffy's whims and final say.

'Why should we believe you're not going to stab us in the back the first chance you get?' Nami asks suspiciously

5 shrugs 'You may not trust us, but Crocodile is the one we're gunning for right now, so for the moment our goals align. Afterwards, well we'll see'

'What's your dream?' Luffy asks, surprising the former agents

'I…I want to build things, great things that can stand the test of time' 5 answers honestly 'Knowing how to break things, it helps me know how to make things stronger to withstand disasters and attack' he adds

'I want to be a great chocolatier' Valentine answers

'Sweet, an architect and a chocolatier. Join my crew! Oh and what about you painter girl, what's your dream?'

Artemis stands a little straighter 'I'm going to rescue Mama, then I'm going to become the greatest artist to ever live'

Luffy grins 'Awesome. Now what do we call you guys, we can't use your codenames, or else we'd have to still be calling Vivi Miss Wednesday'

5 sighs but nods 'The names Victor'

Miss Valentine's Day grins 'And I'm Valentina… what?'

'Your codename is your real name?' Zoro asks with a paranoid look

'Yeah so what? With Baroque Works anonymity policy the only person who would know is Victor if I so chose' she yells defensively

'I'm Artemis by the way' the artist pipes in, trying to defuse the tension

'So what now, stay on this island a year? Doesn't sound like a great plan' Alvida asks tiredly

'No, there needs to be some other way to bypass it' Vivi declares, clenching her fists and praying she was right

'So this is where you all are' a familiar voice says as a blond man exits the forest

'Sanji!'

The cook smiles 'Yep, it's me. So what did I miss?'

'Giants fighting, got some new crewmates and now we're stuck waiting for the Pose to change' Luffy answers, bypassing at least 80% of the events the cook had been absent from

'The problem is it'll take a year for the field to be recorded and we don't have that long. We need to get to Alabasta now!' Nami clarifies, wincing as she rubs her stomach.

'Well if we can't wait for the Log Pose, why don't we just use this? Sanji asks, pulling out…

'Is that an Eternal Pose to Alabasta?' Vivi yells, grabbing the object to confirm that yes it was keyed to the magnetic field of her homeland

'Where did you get this?' Nami asks as Vivi passes it over, knowing the navigator would need it to get off Little Garden

'Found it in a wax house, I also spoke to Mr. 0'

'You exposed yourself! Crocodile didn't know about you yet!' Vivi yells fearfully

'Fear not Vivi-chan, he thought I was Mr. 3 and I didn't correct his assumption. The Pose was actually for him, Crocodile is calling in all his heavy hitters to Alabasta. His plan's getting closer to completion'

'Then we have no time to lose, Nami you can use that right?' Luffy asks to which she nods

'Yeah, this is all we'll need till we finish dealing with Crocodile, then we can just switch back to the Log Pose, let it register Alabasta's feild and continue on our journey'

'Alrighty then, everyone back to the Merry, the Straw Hats are heading to Alabasta!'

 _A little while later_

'Okay, that's everything right?' Luffy asks, getting nods from Nami and Kaos 'Then lets go, onward to Vivi's homeland, the island of Alabasta!'

Zoro and Victor pull up the anchor while Usopp and Valentina set down the sails, allowing the Merry to once again move now she has a destination. All was going well for about 10 minutes, they had almost lost sight of Little Garden… when they were attacked by a giant goldfish

'Crap'

'We're all going to die!'

'Here we go again Sesese'

' _I will not die, I'm coming for you mama, Crocodile'_

'Remember what the giants said, No matter what just go straight!'

'Well it was fun while it lasted Kyahahaha!'

The Strawhats willing sailed into the Island Eater's mouth, allowing it to devour the Going Merry… until it was caught in a psychedelic red and blue shockwave, shooting it straight through the fish and out the other side (not that way, more like a bullet). From the edge of Little Garden the giants watch their friends sail away, off on their own adventures. It was while reminising Dorry turned to his friend and former crewmate.

'Hey Broggy'

'Yes Dorry'

'Think we should have told them about the only other person to leave before letting their log reset?'

'Nah, he probably died before reaching the next island, it wasn't worth getting their hopes up'

'Yug yug yug, you're right. I mean who's even heard of Gol D. Roger anyway?' the giants laugh knowing their friends had a job to do, once they reached Alabasta

TBC

LW: Well that's Little Garden over and done with, and hello new crew mates. If anyone has problems with how Artemis acted, remember like Kaos said, she's a very young child who's a high ranked member of a crime syndicate, there has to be something wrong with her from living through that.

 **Powers and weapons**

 _Mr. 3_ Eater of the Doru Doru no mi / Candle Candle fruit

 **Candle Trap** – Traps his enemy's limbs in candle shaped restraints.

 **Candle Wall** – Mr. 3 summons a wall of wax to defend himself from enemies. While strong, it can be broken with sufficient force, or being stuck with another Doru Doru no mi construct.

 **Candle Champion** – 3 uses the freeform manipulation ability of his wax to form a battle armour around himself, using paint from Goldenweek to increase it's defensive power.

 **Giant Candle Service Set** – The death trap thing mentioned earlier, the top section spins, causing flakes of wax to fall onto the people trapped below, incasing them in the wax which hardens, killing them and turning them into wax statues.

 _Miss Goldenweek/Artemis_ Not a Devil Fruit user

 _ **Colour Trap**_ : In the anime and manga it's described as some kind of hypnosis or something… I'm okay with just straight up calling it magic

 **Laughter Yellow** – Those effected by this trap are supposed to be thrown into a fit of uncontrollable laughter

 **Freezing Fuschia** – Those hit by her bright pink paint become unable to move the majority of their body, though can still do things such and breathing and speaking (thought that may have been Artemis' choice)

 **White Out** – Artemis can remove the effects of any of her paints by placing her hand on a target, casuing the paint to run, breaking its hold.

 _Victor_

Weapon: .44 cal. Flintlock revolver, South Blue manufacturer, with rapid fire capabilities

 **Breeze Breath Bomb** – Firing his explosive breath from his revolver Victor is able to get much better distance as well as accuracy to his attacks and explosions.

 _Valentina_

 **1kg bounce** – Lowering her body weight to 1kg Valentina is able to soar higher, it's also a silent technique that enables her to float when paired with her umbrella

 **500kg stomp** – Valentina increases her weight (often from 1kg) to 500 then lands feet first on her target, doing massive damage.

 _Luffy_

 **Gum Gum Sledgehammer** – Basically a pistol with extra strength caused by the increased weight of Mr.3's Candle Trap on the end of it.


	27. Nami's sick

LW: Onto Drum Island… and I think after this arc I'll be taking a break from OP. I've been doing this fortnightly for the past year, which is a lot for me so I'm thinking about stopping for a little while, then come back to it. Just a heads up, though it might not even happen so don't worry too much about it yet.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Nami's sick: To the island of Snow and Ice

The trip from Little Garden to Alabasta was another mostly smooth sailing trip, though ironically (given Alabasta was a desert island) the climate got colder as they went along. Things were going well until the ship lurched

'Did we hit something? Usopp go check the lower deck, Kaos go check on Nami' Luffy orders, the 2 guys nod and run off

Kaos enters the cabin to see Nami slumped against the steering paddle 'Hey Nami, you okay?' he asks, the ginger groans and pulls herself up

'I'm fine, just tired I guess' she grumbles, knees knocking as she tries to stand, only the purplette's arms on her stopping her from hitting the floor

'No you're not, but even if you are you need to take a break, At least sit down before you burn out' Kaos lightly orders, trying not to show his worry for the sarcastic bitch he still readily calls her friend

'Shut up asshole, yer na the boss of me' Nami groans, though her heart wasn't in on it, sitting as he ordered and unfortunately for any argument she had passed out almost immediately onto the table.

' _This is bad, really bad'_ Kaos thinks, deciding that whether or not it was the right thing to do or not, to let Nami sleep before getting Kaya to check on her.

 _A little later_

Nami groans as she comes to, her head was throbbing and while it took the edge off things she still felt run down and exhausted. It was then something really important slammed into the forefront of her mind

'THE SHIP!' she yells, jumping up (and instantly regretting it) but was surprising when instead of the mayhem leaving the wheel unattended should cause, instead there was gentle whistling as Kaos kept their heading matching the Eternal Pose, though he stopped and turned in response to the red head's outburst.

'Hey Nami, did the break help?' he asks, stepping aside when she walks over to the bar and Pose, which still pointed to the Merry's figurehead

'You, you're steering the Merry?'

'Sesese, of course I am, who did you expect me to let do so, Luffy? Zoro? I may not be anywhere near your level in terms of navigational skill, but I'm Nami tier, which for the record is just below God, compared to those 2 idiots' he smiles and Nami giggles

'Are you calling me a goddess?' Nami purrs, though whether her eye flutter was intentional or due to her fatigue h wasn't sure

Kaos smiles, making a scale motion with his hands 'Almost, demi-god more so'

Nami smirks 'Good enough' she then sighs as she sits back down 'By me, my head is killing me' she whines and Kaos' eyes widen

'Nami, what happened to your stomach?' he asks and the red head looks down, seeing the edge of a purple splodge peeking out from under her shirt 'I'll go get Kaya, that could be bad' he then leaves as quickly as he could, leaving Nami to groan and stare up at the ceiling.

'Hurry back' she whispers, shutting her eyes

With the Merry now helmed by Valentina, also not at Nami's level but better than Kaos, Kaya was free to examine Nami, with Kaos assistance and Luffy's concerned pacing. Once she was done the others were called in

'I don't know what's wrong with her, she has a blisteringly high fever and clearly she's running low on energy. I can try to treat the symptoms but not the cause, unless we figure out what she has. All I know is it had to have happened while in Little Garden, anyone know anything about the island?'

The former Baroque Works agents shrug 'Don't know anything, it as our 1st time there same as you'

'Yeah, we get Eternal Pose via the Unluckies for each job, just like the one to Alabasta we're currently using'

Kaya sighs 'So we have nothing useful?'

'Only that it was a bug bite, based on the welt it caused. Does that help?' Artemis asks

'It does a little, but only in knowing we don't have too much time, even in the East Blue insect carrier diseases were bad, to say the least'

'This ship really needs a qualified doctor' Valentina mutters, getting lightly tapped on the head by Alvida

'We know that, but now's not the best time to be pointing out the obvious' she growls, causing the blond to gulp before returning to her helmsman duties.

'I'll put her somewhere comfortable, if there's nothing else we can do at the moment' Kaos says, picking her up

'Taking me to bed already handsome? I'm afraid I won't be as impressive as you give me credit for at the moment' Nami purrs, nuzzling into his neck. Most of the crew thought Kaos was pale already, but he turned the shade of Mr.3's wax while Luffy laughs his ass off

'LUFFY! We need to do something quick, Nami's become delusional' he yells, his outburst also causing Kaya to chuckle and Nami to burrow her warm nose into the cold skin of his neck/shoulder joint.

 _Couple hours later_

With the exception of a large cyclone the crew just barely managed to avoid, Valentina managed to keep them on a direct and even course, right until they found something strange…

'Guys, there's a weirdo standing on the water' Artemis calls from the Crow's Nest

'What are you talking about, that's insane' Usopp yells back up

'Then look' the artist responds, pointing directly infront of them, where yes, there was a man in jester like attire and a bow and arrows standing on the water

'Just what we need, more stupid shit' Vivi whispers, thought clearly not quietly enough when she sees both Kaos and Zoro smirk beside her

'Think he's a doctor?' Luffy asks, only for Kaya to hit him, mostly because Nami wasn't conscious enough to do so herself

The confusion lasts for several minutes, at which point a MASSIVE ship rises from the ocean, tossing the Merry back in it's wake as everyone held to anything nearby to steady themselves. When the ship was steady they saw the figurehead was that of a retarded hippo, with the jolly roger being a skull with a crown and it's tongue caught between it's jaws. So yeah they just found their first Grand Line pirates.

'Don't tell me my raid ship took you by surprise, did it?' a fat, grumpy looking old man says, between munching his way through a slab of meat, and the knife it was attached to, his men surrounding the members of the crew on deck at the time

'So what I miss?' Sanji asks, having come out just as Wapol's men comondeared the ship

'Nothing much, just some weirdo trying to steal from us' Kaos answers, looking unimpressed by the rifle pointed at his face

'You think yer pirates ay? With a crew of 7 you'll never get anywhere' Wapol laughs before throwing the sword in his mouth and chewing it up 'Now, I'm looking to get to Drum Kingdom, any of you have an Eternal Pose or even a Log Pose to that region?'

'Nope'

'Never heard of it'

'Is the island shaped like a drum? Ow' Luffy whines as Kaya pulls Nami duty and hits him

Wapol frowns 'Well that's a shame, but what can you do. I guess we'll just have to settle for your treasure… and your ship' the man grins widely, before opening his jaws to unimaginable size and chomping through one of the side panels of the starboard decking

'Hey, you can't just eat our ship!' Luffy yells

'Quiet you, Wapol doesn't like to be disturbed while eating' one of the men orders, but Luffy ignored him and punches him into the ground, setting off the rest of the men on board to begin opening fire, as well as alerting the other straw hats below deck.

Usopp predictably tried to avoid most of the fighting, while Luffy tossed Wapol's goons around like the cannon fodder they were, Sanji kicked them from one side of the ship to the other, Zoro's swords proved to be too much for the idiots, and even Kaya managed to show them why they shouldn't try taking her ship. The soldiers tried to get help from their captain, but he ignored them in favour of eating more of the ship

'This is our home, not a buffet!'

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

 **Bomberman kick**

Luffy's pistol caused him to tear out the section of the ship he'd been chewing on, separating him from the main structure, so when Vincent's kick hit him directly in the face… well the shockwave sent him flying far enough all that remained was a twinkle in the sky

'Wapol?' Squeaked one of his lieutenants

'They sent him flying, and with his Devil Fruit he's gonna drown!' The other yells

'Recall the troops, we have to rescue Wapol before he sinks to the bottom!' as he commands the Hippo opens it's mouth and a ladder extends, which Wapol's men gladly took to retreat, swearing revenge as they sank beneath the waves.

'Well…. That happened' Vivi says to herself, before deciding she preferred it indoors with Nami, where things made sense.

After another day of Grand Line waters they reached a point where things were strangely calm and peaceful, something which Vivi says was proof they were nearing an island, a statement Artemis confirmed a few minutes later

'Land a hoy' she calls down, smiling widely

'There has to be a doctor down over there' Luffy cheers 'Na… Valentine, head straight for that island'

'You got it Luffy'

When they reached the island all they could see at first was snow, winter follage and oddly shaped mountains, but they continued going inland until they reached a stream, where there was land close enough to the ship they could safely disembark. Tossing the anchor over Zoro calls out 'Okay we've arrived, who's joining in the Doctor search?'

'I am'

'And me'

'We need all the help we can get'

'I… will be staying here good luck'

'You're not going anywhere pirates' Everyone tenses at the unfamiliar voice, only the realising they were surrounded on the land by an angry mob

'Shit, that was fast even for us' Sanji groans

'Think they're the welcoming committee?' Luffy asks, getting slapped by Alvida and Vivi

'We don't want your kind here'

'Geez, what a bunch of dick'

'Please, we just need a doctor, our friend is sick and we need medical attention' Vivi pleads, to whch some of the mob scoff

'You think we're that stupid to fall for that trick?'

'Raise anchor or we'll blow you and your ship out of the water'

'No, you need to understand…'

'That's enough Vivi' Kaos says, stepping around and in front of the bluenette 'Now to condense everything my friend was saying into a couple sentences: You can either let us get to your doctor and have her treat our navigator, then we can we on our way. Or you can fight us, we kick your asses, your doctor treats Nami, and while they treat you guys we leave never to return'

 _ **BANG**_

 **Prism**

'Ahh!'

'Sven!' Dalton yells as the redirected bullet hits the other man in the shoulder

'Well I didn't expect you to actually shoot us, still that's the point of calling someone's blu…'

 **BANG**

'Son of a bitch!' Kaos hisses when Dalton shoots him in the leg, followed by himself and Vivi getting slapped in the back of the head 'Hey?!'

'Idiots!' Luffy shouts at the 2 'Why did you stand in front of me? Bullets don't work on me, why did you get in the way?'

'I was trying to deal with the situation peacefully…' Vivi begins

'Which almost never works' Luffy interrupts 'is that the end goal for this journey, do you want us to talk Crocodile down? Oh Mr. Crocodile, stop fucking up Vivi's kingdom… oh you don't want to, well thanks anyway. We could do that you know, after all Alabasta isn't really our problem, or it is simply because it's yours princess'

'Wait, are you Princess Nefetari Vivi of Alabasta' Dalton asks, to which Vivi nods 'then why are you on a ship with these ruffians?'

'Free transport' Zoro answers 'Vivi asked us to give her a ride home; we'd be almost there except the witch got sick. She's our navigator so we're kind of stuck without her, thought don't let her know I said that'

Dalton frowns then sighs 'Fine, I'll show you to our village' he then turns and the other let them pass

 _At the village_

'So where's the Doctor?' Luffy asks 'Apparently you guys are famous for them, or at least Vivi says you are if we're where she thinks we are'

Dalton frowns 'We were, but they're all gone now'

'WHAT!'

'A while back our island was attacked by an extremely dark, powerful and vicious pirate, called himself Blackbeard, it's why we acted so harshly when you arrived. When that man attacked us, our previous ruler, King Wapol fled, taking the Isshi 20, all our best doctors with him, leaving us to that monster's wrath. All we have left is Dr. Kureha, the old witch and her monster, who took up residence in Wapol's old castle'

'Well, guess that's where we're going'

'No, you're staying here' Luffy orders

'Why?'

The captain sighs 'Kaya just took a bullet out of your thigh, you're not in the best shape to go mountain climbing. Besides…' at this Luffy grins '…who else could I leave in charge of these so called ruffians in my steed? Usopp?'

'Hey! I'd make a great captain' Usopp argues to the brother's amusement

Kaos sighs but nods 'Okay, but Sanji's going with you, you can't heft Nami up a mountain by yourself'

The cook nods 'I was about to volunteer myself, I'll carry Nami, you make sure nothing stops us. You got that?' Sanji then picks up Nami, nearly swooning when she nuzzles into his shoulder

'Let's go, the quicker we do this the better chance Nami has. Onward to the castle!' Luffy screeches as he runs off, Sanji groans but follows the eccentric moron that was his captain.

 _A little later_

Vivi approaches the 1st mate, a silent tension between them after what happened on the ship 'Dalton says Kureha comes down from the castle every now and then to check on the villages of the Drum Kingdom, if we catch her we can at least give her a heads up on Nami's condition, as well as send her on her way' the bluenette explains

Kaos nods 'Good idea, lets round up the others and find us an old bat' he pulls himself to his feet, to Vivi's panic

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're still injured, you can't just go walking through the snow'

'Sesese. Don't worry princess, one of the benefits of my fruit is that if used correctly, it can function as a form of healing factor. I'll be good as new before we see Nami next'

Vivi eyes him sceptically 'If that's true, why'd Luffy bench you, specifically telling you that you couldn't go with him?'

Kaos flashes her a toothy grin 'Because Luffy understands that healed doesn't mean 100%. I'm not to over exert myself till the next island, which if we don't have any more interruptions, will be Alabasta'

Despite everything Vivi smiles, they were on the last leg of their journey, they were so close to her homeland, and soon they'd take the fight to Crocodile directly.

TBC

LW: Well that happened. Also yes, I did remove Vivi telling Luffy he's an unfit captain and that we can't solve all our problem by hitting things, because that is precisely how they solve all their problems in this show and it works. You don't like Luffy's methods you can make your own way to Alabasta princess.


	28. Witch and Monster

LW: So here we are, the first appearance of the cutest character in OP, the one, the only Tony Tony _'Cotton Candy'_ Chopper! It's not much, but it's the start of something beautiful (I guess spoilers for anyone who's reading this without having read the manga or watched this far into the anime, everyone else you know exactly what I'm talking about)

Rubber King and Mirror Master – The witch and the monster

Lapins; a vicious, carnivorous rabbit creature. The small ones are about the size of a large rabbit and are really more annoying than an actual threat. The problem is those are baby lapins, the adults are about the size of polar bears and even more aggressive. It was a pack of them that Luffy and Sanji end up walking into, clearly annoyed they booted its kid half way up a mountain for being an annoying little shit.

As he was holding Nami, even though his feet were his weapons rather than his hands Sanji wasn't going to risk her getting hurt from the backlash of one of his kicks, meaning he was just dodging the animals. The good news was this meant Luffy was in his element, bouncing around like a loon, punching and kicking Lapins around the side of the mountain like they were just regular bunnies, he'd probably be enjoying himself if his friend's life wasn't in danger.

One thing they learnt was Lapins are a squishy as bunnies looked, enabling both pirates to use them as a leg up on the hike, well more a bounce up but same difference, as expected that just pissed them off more. It was at this point the Lapins revealed they had some form of intelligence as after they skirted around/ahead of the pirates began jumping up and down, sending out shockwaves which travelled through the mountain, setting off a huge avalanche.

As they flailed around trying avoid being crushed under the falling snow Luffy managed to get them all onto a tree sliding down the mountain, with the gang riding it like a sled

'Well we're not dead, but this is the exact opposite of where we need to be, we were almost at the top, so close to the doctor and now it's slipping from our grasp' Sanji loudly complains, gritting his teeth 'It's those damn bunnies fault, if they hadn't started the avalanche we could be there by now and Nami would be okay, when I see them next…'

'There they are' Luffy interrupts to alert Sanji to something important… snowboarding Lapins. This was a pain to deal with as they kept leaping at the trio with claws extended or jaws open ready to chomp down on their heads, but with Luffy and Sanji's strength as well as luck they were able to avoid damage until they reached a more immediate problem

'Rock!' Luffy yells as he saw their tree was on a collision course for a large boulder which unlike everything else was parting the snow rather than being buried under it

'You can't hit that, if you do we're all going to die!'

'What does it look like I'm doing' Luffy fired back but he just couldn't change the course, especially not with the Lapin's boxing them in. Finally a minute before collision Sanji made a decision

'Get her to safety' he says to Luffy, just before passing him Nami and throwing them backwards, saving them from the collision which he and the lapins were injured by.

'Sanji!' Luffy yells, grabbing the rock with one hand, and after coiling his other around himself and Nami, shot it out trying to save his friend but unable to find him.

When things began to settle, Luffy lay Nami on the only bit of solid land he could see, wrapping her in his coat before hopping down to look for Sanji. On the way he found the baby lapin, fruitlessly using its tiny paws to try dig out one of the adults, and he felt bad for the vicious little furball so he yanked the adult out of the snow and continued his journey, now with both of his companions on his back.

Despite everything, including nearly dying himself and a momentary run in with Wapol and his goons, Luffy managed to haul both Nami and Sanji's mostly unresponsive bodies up to the entrance of the castle before promptly collapsing, luckily it didn't take long for them to be noticed

'Idiot boy' hissed a woman with the body of someone in their 30's, and the face of someone in their 90's, before turning to the still open door 'Chopper, this one has clear signs of frostbite and hypothermia, prepare treatment…' she stops when Luffy grabs her arm

'Save my friends' he chokes out 'Don't worry about me, Nami's very sick and Sanji's most likely severely injured, help them first' the determination held in his eyes until Kureha nods, at which point Luffy smiles weakly and passes out.

 _Later_

Nami groans as she opens her eyes, still rather weak but noticeably better. She smiles and turns her head, causing her eyes to widen at the sight before her: a small, bipedal furry creature with a cute button nose and adorable pink hat.

' _Is that some kind of reindeer?_ ' she thinks, seeing the antlers peek out of the hat, as well as the hoofs at the end of each visible limb 'Hello' she croaks, causing the creature to turn, pale and then run out of the room and crouching in the doorframe, though not before knocking over everything in it's path along the way

The creature was clearly trying to hide, though was doing a poor job as only around half his face and even less than that of his body was actually hidden by the doorframe.

'I think you've got it backwards' she comments 'The hiding thing I mean' the creature freezes for a moment before slowly shuffling it's way sideways, until only a single eye and the edge of his hat were visible 'Now you've got it, though it's too little too late as I know you're there…'

'Shut up lady!' the furry yells 'also can you tell me how you're fever's doing'

Nami gasps 'It talks' which causes the furball to jump back, crash into several objects and cause a general ruckus out of sight of the really confused navigator.

'Keep it down Chopper' a woman shouts, before stepping out of the smoke 'Well it seems your fever is down. Tell me, are you happy?' she asks Nami, swigging from a bottle of rum (are we sure she's not a pirate?)

'Who are you?' Nami asks before the woman puts her finger to her forehead

'Hm it's gone down a couple degrees. I'm the only doctor on this island, Dr Kureha, or you can call me Doctorine'

'Um, okay. Hey there were 2 others with me…'

'They're asleep in the other room. Real tough guys for managing to even get up here the way they did, you must be real special to them' Kureha answers before she can even finish the question, then pushed up her shirt 'See this, it's why you were sick'

'Yeah, I think Kaya said it was a bug bite of some sort, but she wasn't able to do anything to help me' Nami says sadly

'Good girl, she's right you were bitten by a Kestia, a tic with a wicked bite. The bacteria are mostly dormant for 5 days, though it does cause pain, swelling, fever and a whole host of other unpleasant symptoms. Based on the affected area I'd say you had been infected for about 3 days, so it's a good thing you got here so quickly. Though the pain would have gone away in about 2 days without treatment'

Nami blinks and tilts her head 'The pain would have stopped?'

'Sure, cause you'd have been dead, the disease is known as the 5 day fever for a reason after all' Kureha answers bluntly, causing Nami to pale significantly. 'You know you're very lucky' the doctor notes

Nami looks confused 'Why?'

'The disease you contracted, or more specifically the Kestia tic that spreads it has been practically eradicated with the exception of a handful of prehistoric and desert islands. If I didn't have some of the antibiotics on hand you would have died before I had time to make more of it' Nami gulps 'seriously, why were you walking around on a prehistoric island in a bikini?'

Nami splutters 'It's a long story'

'A young one like myself has the time, and so do you as there'll be another 3 days of treatment until I can allow you to leave'

Nami's eyes bulged '3 days? But we need to have Vivi in Alabasta yesturday' she moves to sit up, but Kureha shoves her back down and the navigator feels a scalpel against her throat

'Listen here girlie, you can either lie down and get better or get up and die, and if you chose that option I might as well save you the pain and kill you now. Understand?' Nami nods slightly at which point Kureha releases her. A moment later loud crashes and bangs can be heard within the castle.

'What's that?'

'Kureha chuckles 'Your friends must have finally met Chopper and as would be expected, are causing trouble'

'Who's Chopper, the little tanuki guy?'

Tony Tony Chopper is my son, well adopted as he's a reindeer, but that doesn't change much. He's also one of the best doctors this island has ever housed, thanks to me of course, as well as the man who made me take him in, Dr. Hireluck, one of only a handful of people on this island I ever respected. Your friends will be fine, a little battered and bruised, but Chopper will have them patched up in no time at all'

'Okay but what is he?'

'Just a reindeer with a blue nose. Oh and he ate the Hito-Hito no mi, so he's a reindeer human. Now get some rest kid, there's nothing more you can do'

Nami nods before closing her eyes, deciding to take advantage of this chance for a little shut eye. She knew things would get messy very soon, just from being on Luffy's crew for this long.

 _At Ground level, a while ago_

'Are you sure this is the way to Cocoa Weed?' Kaos asks as they trek through the snow

'These are the directions Dalton gave me, which is the best we can do' Vivi replies, wishing she hadn't left Carue in Big Horn but not wanting to inflict too much of the cold on her companion 'Good thing the village is so close, or we'd never get there in time'

They didn't

' **Mother fucker!** ' Vivi yells kicking the wall… and instantly regretting it. Kaos, Victor and Kaya staying what they believe to be a safe distance away from the angry princess.

'This is not good, we missed the crazy old bag by minutes from what these people are saying' Victor sighs while Kaya checks on the kid the Dr had treated, the boy happy to let her do so.

'Hopefully we can find a lead, get her to calm down and stop swearing in front of kids' Kaos mumbles

'Um, I heard her say she was heading to Gyasta next'

The pirates perk up 'Really, where's that?'

'Well you head east towards Big Horn, then keep going for another half hour' that didn't help very much

'So what you're saying is we should have stayed in Big Horn' Vivi grumbles the other nod and begin turning back, Kaos tossing the princess over his shoulder much to her annoyance, but it did speed them up a little. They managed to arrive in Big Horn a little behind Wapol's thugs, though from the opposite direction, just after Dalton attacked Wapol. It was then the strength and power of the Ishi 20 was shown, fixing up Wapol in a matter of moments to the point he was once more up and laughing

'Damn, that could have made things a lot easier' Usopp grumbles, then jumps when the 4 show up behind them

'Hey Usopp, what we miss?'

'That fat guy Luffy and Victor took out that tried eat our ship, he's landed on the island and is now eating the village. Dalton just tried cut him in half but he got put back together again'

'Shit'

It was at this moment that Wapol noticed them, and steam puffed from his ears 'So you did have a Pose to Drum Kingdom, lying to your King is Treason, trying to stop me retaking my rightful place on the throne makes it Double-Treason. Once I reclaim my castle from that old bat, you weaklings will be my first royal executions of the year'

Kaos sighs as Vivi clenches her fists '1st We're not citizens of Drum Kingdom, therefore you're not our King, fuck, I don't even know who was the king of my former homeland. 2nd We don't have a pose to this island, how were we supposed to know it was almost directly between Little Garden and Alabasta, which was our actual destination? And 3rd, you still need to reclaim your throne and the castle from Dr. Kureha before getting to us by your own words'

Wapol growls and grinds his teeth 'Men, slaughter these pirate scum!' he orders, his cannon fodder soldiers charging the straw hats in basically a straight line

 **Double Nose Fancy Cannon**

 **Special Attack: Tabasco Star Barrage**

 **Crescent Wave**

 **Peacock Slashers**

 **Oni Giri**

Did they expect anything else, really? Also just for the record, Kaya and Alvida were also attacking, it's just they don't have named techniques at the moment. Valentina on the other hand has to play more tactically as her fruit can leave her vulnerable when she changes weights so can't just drop into the middle of a fight.

One revelation that occurred during this battle was when Dalton shifted into a Minotaur like form and started tearing through Wapol's men with his spade.

'So he ate a Zoan Devil fruit eh' Victor comments

'Quick a rare treat in Paradise, especially given he's lived in Drum his whole life' Valentine adds

'What the hell is that?' Zoro asks as he avoids more idiots shooting at him

'Zoan type Devil fruits allow their users to transform into animals, as well as a hybrid form like the one Dalton's in right now. He must have eaten the Ushi Ushi no mi given his appearance'

'Correct' Dalton answers them, surprising a few Straw Hats 'I ate the Ushi Ushi model Bison. Now if you'll excuse me you're getting in the way of me killing Wapol' he then leaps at the metal man once more only to be shot by Chess

'You are naïve Dalton, as well as foolish. You got a lucky shot at your king, we won't let that happen again' Kuromarimo taunts

'You're weak Dalton, we're going to tear that bleeding heart of yours straight from your chest' Chess adds, then shrieks and drops his arrows from a shot to the hand

'Get away from him!' Kaya yells, aiming her ocelots at the men, Usopp moving to support her

'You really think you stand a chance girlie?' Kuromarimo laughs before having to dodge two slashes, one from Zoro and the other from Kaos 'Now who's the sneaks? Take this!'

 **Marimo's static cling**

Kaos looks confused when KuroMarimo rips off one of his afros and throws it at him, until it sticks to his hand even when he tries to use his reflect powers, which more annoyed him than anything else, though ducking under a flaming arrow was unexpected.

'Papa' Kaos looks over and sees Artemis poking his ribs 'I have an idea, bring the hairball down here and hold it still' he shrugs but does so, holding his hand to the artist

 **Colour Trap: Laughter Yellow**

'Tada!' Artemis grins 'Now we're both artists'

Kaos sweat drops 'I don't think that's how it works' he replies

Artemis puffs her cheeks, reminding him of how young she is, then gives him an unimpressed look he presumes she copied from her _Mama_ before pointing into the group 'Just hit the guy with the stupid face' she orders, causing a few people to smirk and one guy to get offended

'Hey!' Chess yells loudly 'My face is not stupid!'

'Yes it is' Artemis replies

'No it isn't'

'Yes it is'

'No it isn't'

'Is'

'Isn't'

'Is'

'Isn't'

 **Bam!**

'Perfect 10' Zoro jokes as the archer is knocked to the ground 'What you think?'

'Sounds about right' Kaya agrees while reloading

'Ah I'd give it a 7, he could have sent him flying much further' Alvida chimes in, basically skating around the battle field thanks to her fruit

'Bwhahahahahahahahaha' Chess laughs even through the pain as his face was painted a bright yellow, unable to move or do much else besides laugh

'Chess, No!' Wapol yells, before sending Kuromarimo over to his court jester…I mean advisor

'Damn, I knew he was a terrible person, but nobody can laugh like that and not be pure evil' Valentine notes before jumping at a guard and slamming her 200kg body into his spine. During this Kuromarimo punches Chess with his boxing glove, smearing the paint enough to free him to Artemis' spell

'Thanks Kuromarimo, that brat's paint is some really trippy shit' Chess slurs as he stands back up

Before any more insanity could occur, the ground began to rumble, causing all the locals to look to the mountain, followed by the confused straw hats

'What's going on?' Kaya asks

'It's an avalanche!' Wapol yells, answering the question as he hops onto his hippo 'Let's get out of here. Serious mode' the animal yawns before revealing its much larger legs

'Don't leave without us Wapol' Kuromarimo shouts before him and Chess hop on

'Everyone find cover, or shelter… actually maybe running would be best' Kaos hums as Artemis jumps on his back and the pirates begin the potentially useless plan of outrunning an avalanche

TBC

LW: Well this is as good a spot as any to stop. See you in 2 weeks everybody!

 **Lore/Info**

 _Tony Tony Chopper_ Eater of the Hito Hito no mi/ Human Human Fruit

 _Dalton_ Eater of the Ushi Ushi no mi/ Cow Cow fruit. Model Bison


	29. Drum Kingdom no more

LW: I've decided to do my best to keep going until the end of the Alabasta Saga before taking a break. Doesn't seem right to leave you hanging in the middle of a story, so I hope to keep working through.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Drum Kingdom no more

When the avalanche finally ended all was quiet for a moment… before Wapol popped up and spat out his advisors looking annoyed

"Oh it was you I ate, no wonder it tasted awful" he grumbles

"So what now boss, that avalanche came out of nowhere and it'll have disrupted our men and plans a bunch" Marimo asks

"We deal with them"

"Hm?" Chess voices in confusion

"Don't you see, this is all the Straw Hat's fault. Some of them have gone up the mountain, they must have set off the avalanche in order to stop us or try to kill me. They must pay!" Wapol yells angrily his advisors nodding dumbly rather than try question his logic.

A little away there was a puff as snow was displaced, Kaos and Artemis standing up after shrugging off the elder's cloak

"Why does that thing have so much space Papa?" Artemis asks curiously

"Because I used my fruit on it, makes travel a lot easier" Kaos explains, sort of, pulling out a pipe and lighting it "Now, lets find the others before Wapol gets away" he says that just as Artemis and him have to dodge flaming arrows "Never mind" he sighs, luckily seeing others pulling themselves out of the snow (though why Usopp and Kaya's face are bright crimson he doesn't want to know)

"Forget the small fry, we're taking back the castle. I'm going to eat the Royal Armory then come back down here and level this little Revolutionary Army Stronghold" Wapol loudly proclaims as he hops onto his trusty hippo, his minions climbing aboard not long after

"Hey get back here you bastard"

 **Chi Chi Bomb**

If the noises made by Wapol and his hippo were any indication the attack hit it's target, though the explosion also covered their retrea…advance towards the castle

"Damn, he got away" Victor sighs then notices the islanders digging "what we miss?"

"They're looking for Dalton, he took a couple arrows from that weirdo so they're worried he might be too weak to pull himself free" Valentina explains before passing them a shovel, Victor began digging while Kaos shifted Hebi into something resembling Daltons spade and used that instead. All was quiet besides the shovelling of snow until…

"We got him!" one of the villagers yell getting the others to come running "Oh god, I can't find a heart beat"

"Kaya!" Ussop yells and the blond nods before sliding into the hole that contained the bison man, frowning as she examines him

"There's nothing we can do, I can't get a pulse, I think his heart stopped" she says sadly

"He's not dead"

"But he will be"

"If you don't let us help him"

The group look up to see the Ishi 20 were still around

"Hey look, there actually are doctors on this island, why didn't we bring Nami to them?" Zoro asks in confusion

"Cause those are the Ishi 20, Wapol's personal medical team" Alvida answers tensely

"She's right, we can't trust them they could kill him so he can't stand up to Wapol ever again" a villager yells

"We're still Doctors, just because we were forced to work for Wapol doesn't mean we don't still follow our oaths, or continue our medical research for the benefit of everyone" the one closest says, the others nodding in agreement

"It was all thanks to a certain quack who taught us to never give up" the oldest one, based on his grey moustache and weathered appearance adds "We can't afford to lose anyone else like him"

"We'll heal Dalton, while you go deal with Wapol" the apparent leader of the Ishi 20 declares

Vivi nods "Agreed. Everyone let's go, we don't know if our friends are able to handle a fight with Wapol after their journey up there, never mind if they got caught in the avalanche" she says, getting nods of agreement from the others

"That settles it. Onward to Castle crazy witch. Also as motivation, if Dalton dies, all of you die, as it's your fault Wapol's still alive after Dalton removes his head after all" Kaos threatens the doctors before the entire crew head for the mountain, luckily getting redirected to a rope bridge before they left the village itself.

 _A little later_

"What kind of tweedledoofer makes a castle this high up a mountain? And on this kind of island too" Valentina complains as they rise, Zoro pedalling as fast as he could to get them up to the mountain.

"Wapol, or more likely one of his ancestors. He doesn't seem like the kind of man to put much thought or effort into plans, which a castle would require, plus it would inconvenience him to move all his stuff up here. This mechanism is clearly meant to bring supplies up to the castle, as we can't all have reindeer capable of climbing to this height like Dr. Kureha, especially with provisions or luxuries given this would be a royal family" Kaos answers, it may be all bullshit but it was good enough for her "And we've arrived" he adds, stepping out of the transport then helping the others out.

 _Up at the castle (earlier)_

With the guys forcefully sat down (requiring liberal use of Heavy Point and Kureha's ability to find dangerous weapons to throw with scary accuracy) Kureha told them Chopper's story: (While said reindeer human hid, close enough to hear them though) how he'd been treated poorly by the other reindeer for being a freak with a blue nose (Can't see red, so probably hate Rudolph because her nose glows in the dark), then he ate a fruit which made him smarter… but even more of a freak. He tried to use his new form to approach the nearby human settlement, but all they saw was a monster, chasing him away and trying to shoot him. Some time later he was found and taken in by a Dr. Hiriluk, where the little fellow expressed his interest in becoming a doctor too. She rather enjoyed the expressions on their faces when she told them Hiriluk stripped off in order to get Chopper to trust him when he said he wouldn't attack him

Chopper came into Kureha's care when Hiriluk practically walked into a trap set by Wapol: Claiming his 20 doctors were all sick and needed help in order to capture the last 2 doctors in Drum not under his control. Kureha basically thought _'fuck em'_ but Hiriluk was already dying and had been accidentally poisoned by Chopper while the kid was trying to help him get better, so had nothing to lose when he took his medical supplies to the castle… with a bomb in his bag. He may not have killed Wapol in the explosion, but the intent was clear as well as the message: The Kingdom of Drum was dying and they needed to remove the rot in order to begin the heading process. Kureha took over Chopper's tutorage and while his skill has grown in leaps and bounds, she has grown fond of the bipolar little cutie, seeing him as the child she never ended up having in the over a century of her life.

"He should join our crew, we need a doctor" Luffy states, both Sanji and Nami nod while Kureha seemed interested "Plus if he thinks he's a freak he should meet some of our friends Shishishi"

 **Bang!**

"Idiot!" Nami and Sanji yell, the cook kicking him into the wall, while Kureha laughs, until Chopper rushes in.

"Wapol. He's coming!"

At Chopper's yell Nami and Kureha tense, Sanji frowns and Luffy clenches his fists

' _That guy tried eat our ship, now he's here to hurt our new friends. I'm going to kick his ass'_

 _At the front of the Castle_

Wapol breathes deeply before sighing in relief "Finally I've returned to my home boys, Drum Castle"

"Hey freeloaders, get off my lawn!"

"Hm, what was that?"

"Um Sir" Kuromarimo pipes up "That was most likely Dr. Kureha. Remember the report, she's been squatting in your castle since you left."

"Grr, then get her out of there! She'll stink up the place with that old people smell, it'll take weeks to get rid of it" Wapol complains, then has to duck out the way of a battle axe that nearly removes his head once more

"Shut it you fat bastard, I'll have you know I'm still in the prime of my life, a young 139 and don't you forget it"

Wapol frowns "Well Dr. Kureha, the last doctor or Drum has finally revealed herself. You wouldn't believe the number of my men I lost looking for you"

Kureha flicks down her shades "Does it look like I care? Leave Wapol, the kingdom of Drum is dead, it was rotten long ago but when you left this country finally had a chance at a fresh start"

"You old hag, you think you can tell me what to do I'm the king, arguing with the King is **TREASON** , and you know what that means"

"Wait a minute" everyone looks behind Kureha and Chopper to see Luffy running full speed toward them "Big mouth is mine"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

Luffy's fist slammed straight into a panicked Wapol's face, though it showed he wasn't back to 100% when Wapol only flew a short distance before landing with a bang in the snow, though it was still far enough to scare his 2 advisors as well as break his nose

"Damn it Luffy have you jumped the gun again?" Sanji complains as he runs out after him

"That guy is pissing me off, first he tried eat our ship, then he tried attack us while I had to carry you and Nami, and now he's here to hurt the old lady and the cool reindeer guy. So I'm going to kick their ass!"

Sanji pinches the bridge of his nose but nods and pulls out a cigarette "Well we better get to work then"

"You idiot, don't you know what you've done? Who you've struck?" Chess shrieks

"You just assaulted the King of Drum Kingdom, supreme World Government appointed and approved Sovereign of these parts" Kuromarimo adds/explains

"So?" Luffy asks, causing the trio to face plant "He's a dick and he pissed me off, so I hit him"

"You idiot… Hey wait, what that flag up there? That's not the proud flag of Drum Kingdom" Wapol yells

"Yep, we torched it when me and Chopper moved in, that's Hiriluk's flag the kid insisted on it. The old Quack died up here, might as well give him a huge ass memorial" Kureha answers dismissively

Wapol began to laugh "Oh yeah I almost forgot about that bastard. HOW DARE YOU TARNISH MY BEAUTIFUL CASTLE WITH THAT USELESS QUACK'S FLAG! TAKE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

Chopper growls "No. I won't take it down, it's all I have left, it's the symbol of his dream, the dream I intend to see through to the end" he declares, shifting into Heavy Point (Big Yeti looking thing)

"That's him Sir"

"The monster that attacked us 6 years ago after Hiriluk blew himself up"

Wapol hums "Well if that soft hearted Dalton can beat him you too shouldn't have a problem. Now go men, take back my castle from that crone and her pet" he orders

"Let's deal with this quick" Kuromarimo shouts before tossing an afro straight at Kureha's face… only for it to be stopped by Sanji

 **Marimo Static Cling**

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to strike a lady?" he asks then starts bouncing around when the hairball refused to budge, not helped when Marimo tore off more pieces of afro and they stuck to his arms and other leg

"Watch out, those hairballs are quite dry" Chess jokes as he lights an arrow on fire

' _Ah shit'_ Sanji thinks before the afro on his leg is grazed, turning from a hairball into a fireball. The duo laugh at his misfortune, until a wall of fur and muscle barrels towards them, Chess narrowly avoids the punch, the Zoan on the other hand continues his path… directly into Wapol's open mouth

 **Baku Baku grab**

"Hey, give us back our crewmate" Luffy yells about to run over when Sanji stops him

"Luffy run over there, then grab my leg from that position" Luffy raises an eyebrow but does so "Ready?" the cook asks and the lightbulb goes off as Luffy grins

 **Gum Gum Cannonball**

Luffy slams into Wapol's body at incredible speed, forcing him to spit out the once more cute looking Chopper, him and Luffy continue their trajectory, until they reach his hippo, who stops them but the energy sends flying way off into the distance

""Wapol!" his advisors scream, helping him up as Luffy runs to go check on the others

"You good Chopper?" he asks with a grin

"Um yeah, thanks for saving me"

"That's what friends are for, we help each other"

' _Friends? I… I have friends?_ ' Chopper thinks, tearing up slightly

"Prepare to die StrawHats! Thanks to my Baku Baku no mi everything I eat becomes a part of me, now face the power of Wapol!"

 **Wapol House**

The muncher transforms, a chimney popping out of his head, both his arms morphing into cannons and his body got even larger and even gained a door.

 **Baku Baku Factory**

Wapol grabs his lieutenants and gobbles them up, strange noises emanate from his body before the door in the front opens. Much like how his Wapol House was made from combining the things he are, eating his men created a hybrid being retaining both of their faces but now armed with quad axes and crossbow.

"Now you must face King Wapol's greatest warrior, the unbeatable Chessmarimo!" the hybrid spoke together through both faces, unnerving the others

"Great, as if these 2 weren't stupid enough to begin with, now they're on top of each other" Sanji grumbles, hitting Luffy so he stops gushing about how awesome that was.

"This kingdom's most important Rule in my reign was this: All who disobey the king must be put to death. You broke this law and so will all die painfully, but I have to deal with that eyesore that is that quack's flag first" Wapol announces before firing one of his arm cannons at the tower and flag

 **Kaboom!**

"No!" Chopper screams, until the smoke clears and he sees the flag still intact

"You weren't real pirates were you?" Luffy asks flatly "You were just fakers, which explains why you don't understand what a pirate flag means"

Wapol frowns "Meaning? You idiot flags don't mean anything; they just identify what something belongs to"

"If you think that you're dumber than you look, which I didn't think was possible"

A vein pops in Wapol's head "YOU LITTLE SHIT TASTE MY CANNONS!"

 **Kaboom!**

"There, now I've dealt with the flag and the idiot boy, who's up for lunch?"

"That won't work" Luffy says through the smoke, which clears to show both him and Hiriluk's flag were okay "A flag is a pledge to fight and risk your life, it's not something you can just laugh about and destroy!" he then looks down, scanning the ground for Chopper "Hey Chopper, I'm going to kick these guys asses for disrespecting the pirate flag, want to help?"

Chopper smirks as he shifts into Heavy Point "Always"

"Great, just give me a moment" Luffy says, trying to jam the end of the pole into the tower roof "You can start if you want"

Chopper was way ahead of him in that regard, inches from caving at least part of Wapol's fat head in, when he was stopped by the 4 fists of Chessmarimo _'Damn it'_

"Nobody gets to Wapol besides through us, meaning nobody gets to Wapol, period" Chessmarimo gloats as Chopper sighs and shifts into his smaller form

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

Wapol and Chessmarimo panic when Luffy shoots down on a collision course with them, missing by a couple feet but still hitting hard enough he knocked both over

"I said I'd be a moment, hey Chopper, buddy, think you can deal with the 2 headed weirdo while I fight this guy?" he asks, noticing Sanji's spine was fucked again, or maybe it was just the fact Kureha was standing on it, who knows

"I can do that"

"You think you can beat us freak? We're undefeated"

"The name, is Tony Tony Chopper, the name was given to me by the greatest Doctor in the world. I will show no mercy for what you have done, his memory will not be tarnished by you" Chopper says, pulling out a yellow gumball looking thing

 **Rumble ball**

"The effects last 3 minutes, which is long enough for me to deal with you" he says, putting it in his mouth and biting down with a crunch

"You don't stand a chance, not against these" Chessmarimo says, launching 2 flaming arrows at the reindeer

 _ **Walk Point**_

Chopper's body shifts from his adorable form to something that is basically a normal reindeer, easily bouncing around the projectiles, to the annoyance of Chessmarimo and Wapol

"Transformations, that's it? You're a Zoan like Dalton, 3 forms that's it, you're a reindeer human I presume?"

 **Heavy Point**

"No, I'm a human reindeer" he corrects bulking up to his ' _yeti_ ' form

"Same difference" Chessmarimo scoff "We've seen all your forms so you've got no more tricks, which means we know you can't stand up to these"

 **Quatro Hammer**

 _ **Jump Point**_

Chopper transforms into a more streamlined hybrid form before using his long legs to hop out of the way with ease

"What, but his hybrid form was the little thing from earlier, what's that?" they ask as they go for another shot

 _ **Guard Point**_

Chopper becomes an enormous mass of fur tanking the blows with no visible damage to himself.

"What the hell is going on? You Zoans have a 2 form limit where are you pulling these others out from?"

Chopper smiles "The Rumble Ball is a pill which enhances the power of the Devil Fruit transformation abilities, over the last 5 years I've managed to use it to create 3 additional forms. You can do the math yourself if you can count that high"

"A 7 form transformation sequence?"

"Correct, for once. Now take it in the face"

 _ **Arm Point**_

The fur falls from his body as his new form was similar to his heavy point in most regards, besides a more reindeer like face and more importantly the overly muscular and still hoofed arms/hands, which he uses to shatter the hammers with one shot each.

"No, our hammers. You'll pay for that"

 **Chessmarimo special surprise: Quatro Axe**

The chimera men then charged at Chopper who seamlessly shifted between his points as he dodged every slash, which just made Chessmarimo madder and flails more erratically

"You said you could beat us in 3 minutes, but you're not fighting, you're just dodging" Chessmarimo taunts

 _ **Brain Point**_

Chopper returns to his smaller form with a determined look in his eyes "I wasn't just dodging, I was learning and searching for your weak point, and I found it"

 **Scope**

' _There it is, Chess's jaw'_ Chopper thinks just before Chessmarimo tries to cleave him in two, missing only because the reindeer disappears

"Where'd the little bastard go?" they mumble angrily before a rumble beneath them has panic run through them.

Chopper's attack, boosted by the enhanced strength behind his Arm Point slam their hooves into the lower face's jaw, breaking it and knocking the duo out

"That was for Hiriluk, you bastards"

"Hey Luffy, where'd Wapol go?" Sanji asks

"Who?"

"The fat guy with the big mouth"

"Oh, I don't know"

"You idiot, you got distracted by Chopper's fight didn't you?" Sanji yells at him

"Yep… So what do we do?"

"Check the castle dumbass, that's his target after all" Kureha orders

"Got it old lady" Luffy runs off just before Kureha could kick him, so she just glares at his retreating form

 _Meanwhile in the castle_

Nami was running for her life as some fat weirdo was chasing her, not having a clue who he was or why he seemed to hate the Straw Hats (though she blamed Luffy as it was almost always him) due to being mostly unconscious at the time. Her only reprieve was when she took some stairs and Wapol tried to jump down after her… and got stuck

"Shit, must have gained a little weight since I was last here (A LITTLE!)" Wapol grumbles "Never mind I can fix this"

 **Baku Baku Factory**

Wapol proceeds to eat himself? then his metal mouth hops after Nami who while very confused still knows to run for her life. Finally the bucket stops bouncing and it spits out a much thinner Wapol, keys jangling as he once more chases after the red headed navigator. Well he would have if he hadn't been kicked in the face by a very pleased with himself Luffy

"Found you big mouth. Now we fight for real" Luffy announces, but gets distracted when Nami notices how much her coat he'd ' _borrowed_ ' was wrecked and began chewing him out (lucky she doesn't have the Baku Baku no mi)

"Hello I'm still here" Wapol says after picking himself up

"Huh, you take a lot more hits than most people I've fought recently, oh well still gonna kick your butt"

"I'll be doing the butt kicking once I devour the arsenal and my factory makes it part of my body… wait this isn't the armoury this is the treasury… Excuse me!" he then runs off, his slimmer form making that easier than before

"Hey get back here" Luffy yells as he runs after him

Wapol sighs deeply as he stops, all this running wasn't something he was used to "Damn, finally I lost that Straw Hat bastard"

"Hey Wapol!"

 **SLAM**

Wapol recoils from the blow to the head, the slightly bloodied mace now resting on its wielder's shoulders. As he clicked his jaw back into place the woman continues

"I've heard some pretty bad shit about you Wapol, from Vivi and Dalton, but right now, seeing you trying to kill an old lady and a racoon as well as hearing you try destroy a pirate's flag, the symbol of their dreams and their pride, well I'm going to kick your ass on principle" she hefts the mace up, swinging it back as Wapol sneers and replies

"I think not"

 **Tongue Cannon**

The explosion throws the Slip human through a wall as well as down a staircase without her bouncing off a single step.

"That all you got, where's your big talk now? I hoped for a lot more, I like my women with attitude, well it's more I enjoy breaking them of tha…" Wapol stops when he sees at the bottom of the stairs, cradling Alvida to his chest was the Straw Hat wearing boy from before, his face shadowed by the hat's brim.

"Luffy" Alvida gasps, blushing in embarrassment when she sees that she'd coughed a little blood on his neck and cheek.

"You hurt my friends, you hurt people I care about, you won't hurt anymore of **MY NAKAMA**!" he yells, Wapol winces at the pure rage flowing off this kid. Luffy gently sets Alvida down against the wall, then walks over to Wapol

 **Tongue Cannon**

 **Gum Gum Shotgun**

Wapol's cannon blast hits at nearly point blank range, but Luffy keeps going, slamming both of his fists into the man's metal jaw, denting it and throwing him back

"Wat ur yu?" he slurs through his broken jaw

"I'm pissed off that's what" Luffy growls before his next punch throws him out of the castle, flying back to the start of their fight once more

"He's still alive" Luffy hears Zoro yell up to him, confused for a second before shrugging and hopping out of the hole he'd just made.

Wapol pulls himself to his feet, only now noticing the others "Well lookie here, more straw hats. At least it means I can take you all out in one go"

"You're going to need to try harder, this will have been your 3rd failure in as many days" Artemis points out bluntly, even Usopp chokes around a laugh as the man nearly falls over in shock and annoyance.

"You listen here you little brat, I'm the ruler of this island, appointed by the World Government itself, for going against me it puts you on the Black List of the most powerful group in the entire world… because they run it"

"Do you know why a winter island is almost as good as a summer island for someone like me?" Kaos asks with a smirk, clearly ignoring Wapol's threats "The sunlight may be weaker, but the snow makes up for it and more" Sanji sees the 1st mate's hands and arms change and despite his pain smiles

"What are you…"

 **Dazzle**

 **Gum Gum Bazooka!**

Luffy lands mere centimetres from the dazed and blinded Wapol, just as his arms begin to snap back, ensuring an undodgeable, point blank bazooka, once more turning the horrid man into a twinkle in the sky.

"Well he's gone" Sanji says with a smile, one mirrored by Vivi as there was something really good about seeing that horrid man disappear, someone who gave people like her and her family a bad name.

"It seems something good did come from pirates coming to this island"

"Dalton, you're alive!" Usopp yells, the bison man standing there, watching them with a sad smile

"Yes. The Ishi 20 are as good as its been said. Plus it seems they took your threat quite seriously as they almost threw me into the cable car the moment I said I wanted to follow you up and assist you, not that you guys needed it of course" Dalton chuckles

 _That evening_

"So I heard your spine is currently fucked" Kaos says with a smirk as he walks in on Sanji still strapped down "Good news is she let you keep your pants"

"Oh fuck off, not even this crazy lady would let people in if she made me do that"

"True, I'd charge for entrance" Kureha teases from the doorway

' _Shit, another Nami'_ Kaos thinks as he slips out of the door before Kureha can continue working on Sanji's spinal fissure

 _The morning, as the Straw Hats are leaving_

"Papa, do you think the reindeer guy will be joining us?" Artemis asks, Kaos' eyebrows knit as he considers his answer

"I don't know kiddo, but I'd like him to, he did a good job with Nami and seems ni…"

"Everybody run!" Chopper screams, as he barrels past/around them in his Walk Point, Artemis jumping onto the 1st mate's back for fear of being run over. They were confused for a moment, until

"Get back here you brat! You think I'll just let you go off and be a pirate, well you've got another thing coming" Kureha screams as she exits the castle, it finally dawning on everyone

"Well that answers that question" Kaos replies over his shoulder to a grinning Artemis, before everyone follows Luffy as he chased their newest crewmate down to the Merry.

There was just one thing that gave them pause….

"Wow"

"So cool"

"The fuck are we looking at?"

"That's impossible"

Chopper just looks on silently, his face can barely contain his smile even as tears stream down his face, right there in front of him was the end result of Dr. Hiriluk's work, the pink coloured snowfall looking just like the cherry blossoms he'd promised he would show the country, the old quack's dream had finally come true.

' _Fair well Chopper'_ Kureha thinks sadly as she stands with Dalton _'Be the man you say you are, as well as the doctor your dad told me you'd be, and I made sure you would'_

TBC

LW: Hi everyone, sorry I'm late. The problem was I keep all my fanfiction on a single memory stick (bad idea I know), and when I went down to my dad's this weekend I forgot it. Meaning today I had the job of splicing what I did over the weekend with what I'd already written, hopefully it's not too disjointed.

R&R


	30. Family Reunion 1 of ?, Fireman Ace

LW: Here we go, the main event itself the Alabasta Arc.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Family Reunion 1 of ?, Fire man Ace

The Straw Hat ship sailed it's way to Alabasta, given the lack of issues at the moment Kaos had time to fulfil his main job, being the crew's researcher, in this case his main focus being something only Dr. Vegapunk would also be working on, but that was less to do with the 1st mate's level of work and more the fact Dr. V was a man who worked on everything. The only reprieve he had at the moment was peeking up to see if Vivi had noticed that Luffy had decided to use her duck as fishing bait, given the idiot was the reason they were all starving right now he was hoping for him to get painfully shown the error of his ways. Still at least nobody was going to understand his writing in its current form

"There should be a line" Kaos looks up from his notes (Nami's navigation combined with Valentina's helmsman skills making for a good speed) then to the girl reading over his shoulder

"Really, and how do you know?"

Artemis shrugs "Mama was teaching me, we haven't gotten too far so I may be wrong but that symbol isn't a word unless you put a slash through it" she explains, Kaos rereading the section she'd pointed out and chuckles as she was correct, that was the wrong symbol for that space.

Chuckling to himself he edits it while reaching into his waistcoat for his pocket watch, it was most likely incorrect now but he'd adjust it when they reached Alabasta, besides it did show how long they'd been sailing for. "Any idea on our progress?" he asks casually to which the girl shakes her head

"I slept through the trip to Little Garden. I have no idea where we are, only Nami or Vivi have any clue"

"Land ahoy!" Usopp yells from the crow's nest

"Well that helps" Kaos chuckles closing the notebook and putting it in his coat "Time to get ready to disembark eh kiddo?"

Artemis nods "I'll tell the others" she says, running into the ship's main body

"Nice ship you got here" a high pitched voice purrs causing Kaos to look up again and twitched, standing on deck was a man in a swan themed coat, spherical outfit and ballerina flats as well as thick make up.

"LUFFY! WE GOT ANOTHER WEIRDO!" Kaos shouts, watching the crossdresser fall flat on his face in shock.

"Not again" the captain grumbles as the majority of the crew come out to see what's wrong now.

"Hello, I'm Bon Clay, and I've kind of lost my way ha ha ha" he chuckles, scratching the back of his head, the he sees the girls on the upper deck "Hey cuties" he winks and they shudder

"So, what can you do?" Usopp asks, to which Luffy grins and starts hopping around wanting to see

Bon Clay grins "Okay then, let me show you" he says before slapping Luffy in the face, tossing him into the wall

"Hey! What you do that for?" Zoro growls, pulling out his swords until

"Wait just a moment green guy" ' _Luffy_ ' says, waving his hands around "I'm just having a little fun, besides, you asked what I could do so why can't I show off my devil fruit?"

"Wow, you look just like me" Luffy gasps as he gets back up and he was right, where Bon Clay stood, now was Luffy in his clothes

"Exactly, that's the power of the Mane Mane no mi. I can turn into someone with my right hand, and if I touch my face with my left hand" as he does this his body and voice blurs/buzzes, before he was back to normal "it resets back to me. Hoy hoy" he then takes a moment to lightly touch each of the lower deck spectators (Usopp, Nami, Zoro, Chopper, Kaya) right until he reached Kaos.

"Touch me and I rearrange all of your faces" the reflect human growls, his powers coating his eyes in a way that sent shivers down the other man's spine

"Right, well I didn't need to slap you it was just more fun that way. All I needed was to touch you with my right hand for it to work" he then cycles through the crew he'd touched, even dropping back into Luffy for a moment before stopping on Nami "And that's not all, I change my body as well as my face and voice" to demonstrate (s)he opens his blue dancer's shirt to show off Nami's bare chest (the clothes don't change, so no bra for fake Nami), causing the guys to stare in surprise… before Not Nami gets punched in the face by Real Nami, reverting him to normal and turning her hand black for a split second, though it seemed only Artemis noticed that little factoid, her eyebrows shooting into her hairline before returning to their normal position.

"You okay swan guy?" Luffy asks as the man gets back to his feet

"I'm fine straw hat, but I think that's enough of using my powers for today" he sighs, to the uproar of protest coming from Luffy, Usopp and Chopper "Oh if you insist" he then began pirouetting, changing his faces randomly to the amusement of the trio. While he did so, one of the more normal faces he produced caused Vivi to tense up and clench her fists

"So you saw it too" the bluenette turns at the voice

"Valentina?" she whispers then nods

"Hey Mr. 2, get off our ship" the lemon lady screams at him, causing the ballerina to pout

"That time already Miss Valentine's Day? Oh look my ship is back, ta ta babies" he does one more spin before jumping over to the ship that sailed up along side them "Men, get back to work"

"Yes Mr 2 sir, Bon Clay Maam"

"That was Mr. 2!" Was yelled by quite a few of the straw hats

"Yep, and now he's got your faces in his memory bank" Valentina answers, heading back to the steering pole so they keep on course

"You okay Vivi?" Luffy asks, stretching up to check on the princess

"One of his faces, it was my father Nefetari Cobra"

"The King of Alabasta" Nami gasps

"But how did he even get it?" Kaya wonders

"He probably has faces of other palace staff, all it takes is one touch and he has you" Vivi mumbles before tensing for a second, as Luffy and Alvida run their hands along her spine

"Don't worry Vivi, once we beat Crocodile we won't have to worry about any of this any more" Luffy declares with a serious look

"And the next time we see ballerina, I'll give him a mace to the junk, think that'll help?" the smooth woman asks with a teasing smile, causing a watery laugh to escape the bluenette.

"Hey guys" the trio looks down to Nami grinning "I have an idea to help with our Mr. 2 problems" she says, pulling out a black marker

"Every time Nami pulls things out of thin air I worry, at least it's not rope this time" Luffy muses, causing a few crewmates to chuckle and Nami to turn beat red

"Tying you guys together was an option" Kaos added before letting Nami continue, drawing an X on her arm, which she covered with a bandage

"Mr. 2 has a template of our bodies, things like scars, birthmarks and tattoos as well as the general proportions and shape. But the X is just me ink, so we can use it to identify each other as something other than a doppelganger"

"That's a great idea Nami" Luffy grins, jumping down and letting her put an X on him, shortly followed by all the others who were on the lower level. She got to the remaining crew members later, even Carue, who wasn't sure Mr. 2 could even copy her form, he could do Chopper because he was part human but she was all duck.

Upon docking at Alabasta

"I'm hungry, going to go look for a restaurant" Luffy states before hopping off the ship and running off

"Wait you idiot, we need to come up with a plan, agree on a meeting place, lots of other important logistics," Nami argues but their captain was long gone

"I presume the Merry is a viable meeting option? And if not I could just follow the trail to these guys and from them" Kaos offers, waving his hands in the direction of Chopper, Artemis, Victor and Valentina "After all, leaving Luffy alone…"

"Is a disaster waiting to happen" Nami finishes tiredly "Go try minimize the damages his idiocy causes" she jokingly orders, to which Kaos smiles and nods before running after the rubber boy "Everyone else, we need to be discreet and subtle, do at least the rest of you understand the meaning of those words?"

"Miss Nami" Artemis calls, pointing down the shore to a separate alcove "We have a problem"

"That's Mr.3's ship" Vivi gasps, and she was obviously right, given the abundance of 3's everywhere as well as the fact it appeared to be made of wax

"Yep, and he knows the 3 of us have betrayed Crocodile and joined the Straw Hats" the artist says bluntly

"Guess Vivi won't be the only one looking over her shoulder in Alabasta" Valentina says with a frown

"Hopefully we can find Mr. 3 before he can blab to Crocodile about our indiscretions" Victor offers, trying to be a little optimistic "As unlikely as that is. Otherwise I guess we'll need to find some disguises"

"Another reason to head into town" Alvida agrees "Can we go now Nami?"

The navigator sighs "Alright, let's go but at least try cause less of a scene than Luffy and Kaos"

"Won't be difficult, Kaos is his namesake at times and I'm surprised by that logic Luffy wasn't named Armageddon, or Disaster" Sanji jokes

"Do you think that's what the D stands for?" Kaya asks

"Honestly I don't know, but it has to mean something" Usopp answers with a shrug of his shoulders

Deeper into the city

Despite the relatively high class look to the place, there was still a shirtless man in a cowboy hat and shorts eating soup at the counter "It's good" could be heard mumbled through his meal

"Thank you sir. Though if you don't mind me asking, what is someone like you doing in Alabasta?"

Ace's expression pinches for a moment before continuing "I'm looking for someone…" he then smiles for a few seconds and reaches into his pocket "… a few someones actua…" then collapses face first into the bowl

"Oh no he's dead" a patron screams

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

"HE'S ASLEEP!"

After a few minutes Ace pulls himself out of his food, blinks then wipes his face and continues eating as if nothing had happened, he hoped he could find those idiots, it had been way too long since they'd seen each other.

' _I may have Pops and the others, but you 2 will always be the most important, especially after Sabo_ ' he thinks, smiling sadly while he finishes his meal, just as a familiar marine enters the restaurant.

"Portas D. Ace, what's a division head for the Yonko Whitebeard doing in Paradise?" Smoker asks gruffly, and there's a collective shudder when the civilians realise what the tattoo on Ace's back is, though how they mistook a skull with a crescent moustache as anything but the Jolly Roger of the Whitebeard Pirates is beyond me.

Ace smiles as he turns to face the Captain "I'm looking for my brothers" he answers vaguely, though from his expression he just saw no need to give anymore information over to a marine like Smoker "anything else?"

"That you come with me, quietly"

Ace's smile twists into a smirk "No thanks that doesn't sound that fun, so I'll pass"

Smoker growls "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" he sighs "I'm here on the trail of another pirate and I really don't want to get involved in the affairs of a Yonko without reason"

"So just let me walk away" Ace offers

"That's the thing" Smoker says, his arm starting to exude smoke "I can't"

" _ **FOOD!"**_ Was yelled as a Luffy shaped blur crashes into both of them, sending them flying through the wall

"Damn it Luffy, can you go anywhere without causing a scene?" Kaos groans as he finally catches up with his captain

"I didn't cause a scene in Little Garden" Luffy argues, sitting down and proceeding to stuff his face

"You pissed off some plant eating dinosaurs enough they tried to eat you" Kaos deadpans "That counts" he then grabs a plate of meat from under Luffy's nose, though there was enough food in front of them Luffy didn't seem to notice

"Straw Hat!" Smoker yells as he renters the building

"Hey smokie" Luffy greets with a smile

"I'm taking you down in the name of justice" he growls, reaching for his jute

"That's nice, but I prefer to… run away" Luffy and Kaos make a break for it, just after the rubber boy shoves all the remaining food into his expanded mouth, Smoker and Ace running after them, but for different reasons.

Jumping across rooftops, through alleys, around market stalls and somehow running into the rest of the crew (who were annoyed they hadn't managed to shake their marine tail BEFORE running over to them) they managed to evade capture, though with the addition of Lucina and Tashigi at least Smoker had more than useless canon fodder as assistance. Jumping to the front of the mob Smoker prepares to capture the entire crew

 **White Blow**

 **Heat Haze**

Smoker's attack was feet from the duo (who had not quite caught up to the others, due to them running the second they saw the size of the marine prescience chasing them) when the space between them erupted in flame, separating pirates and marine, when it cleared Ace was standing in the centre, his arm and some of the other hands fingers taking the form of deep red flames

"You again" Smoker grunts

"Yes. You may have smoke, but against my fruit we would be here all day" Ace says with a serious tone

"Ace, is that you?" Luffy asks in shock

"You guys haven't changed a bit have you?" he asks teases

"You eat some kind of Devil fruit?" Luffy asks, causing Kaos to face palm and Ace to chuckle

"Sure did, the Mera Mera no mi. I'm a Fire Man"

"Hence the moniker of _Fire Fist Ace_ " Tashigi adds in her usual expositional way, while Luci sneers and draws her Falchion

"Yep. Now isn't the best time for a chat, so why don't you leave and I'll catch up later okay?"

"Okay, see you around Ace"

 _Clang_

Kaos smirks as his blade clashes with Nylock Lucina's, the towering woman's expression pure rage "You know, sneaking is easier if you aren't constantly yelling about **JUSTICE!** And saving your adorable little brother from the corrupting influences of piracy and big titted archers, I hear on the Grandline there are a lot of people with that body type around so you may have a little trouble there" he says before shoving the bluenette back, slashing her leg with a downward swing "You missed one Ace" he points just before having to jump out of the way of another swipe

"You die today!" the bluenette screams, nearly skewering the reflect human, but losing her blade when his kusarigama hooked into the void in the hilt of her sword, then yanked it from her grasp before kicking her back to Smoker and his group, enabling them to make an escape

"What I don't get is why you're getting in my way and helping the Straw Hats" Smoker wonders out loud

Ace smiles as his body begins to fully transform into fire "Can't a guy help his little brothers out? Sounds like at least one of you understand that"

"I am nothing like you" Lucina scoffs

"Yeah I can see that, by the sound of things my brothers actually want to see me" he laughs as she silently steams, knowing even with the coating on her blade she wouldn't be able to find Ace in the flames to hit him.

"Let's get this over with" Smoker growls, turning entirely into smoke as he charges Ace, the duo forming a fire/smoke twister in the sky which held everyone's attention long enough for the Straw Hats to escape, now if only Luffy didn't go off in the wrong direction in a very Zoro like manner, which meant Kaos had to go look for him as the crew were once more without their idiot captain.

"Hey where'd everybody go?" Luffy wonders, having set down the barrel he'd been thrown by Zoro in the alley and was now sitting on it while he tried to think "Weird"

"Well looks like buying you time to escape was pointless as always you rubber brained idiot" Luffy looks up and grins, seeing Ace standing on the roof

"Hi Ace"

"Hey Lu, it's been a while" Ace returns the greeting before hopping down to Luffy's level, the Straw Hat captain getting off the barrel as he does.

"Yep, how long's it been Ace?" Luffy asks, the 2 showing off as usual, this time with arm wrestling

"Not sure, but you're exactly the same as I remember, taller but that's about it, both of you have"

The brothers stare intensely as they try force the other to yield, this could have lasted for hours… but we all get bored easy so someone kicks the barrel to pieces

"Hey! I almost had him!"

"In your dreams cry baby"

"Ah hem" Kaos coughs "Luffy, you still have a long way to go before you can beat Ace. Ace, don't be such a dick, I'm not afraid to kick you through a window again, Dadan isn't here to protect you this time"

Ace grins "Same to you, I'll be able to kick your ass easy"

"Hey Ace" the fireman stops and turns to Luffy "Why are you in Alabasta, I mean it's great to see you but still?"

Ace sighs "You never got my message did you? The one I left on Drum Island"

"Message?"

"Best take that as a no" Kaos murmurs, now leaning against a wall with his hat over his eyes

Ace shrugs "It's fine, it was mostly just telling you I'd be in Alabasta for a couple days, and as we caught up you can clearly see it anyway so no biggie. I'm here on important business"

"Business?" Luffy repeats curiously

"Yep. I'm part of the Whitebeard Pirates" Ace replies

"A Yonko's crew in 3 years, nice work Firefly" Kaos grins, and Luffy's eyes sparkle

"A Yonko, like Shanks? Cool!"

"It sure is, this is our mark, and my pride" Ace explains, turning so Luffy could see his tattoo of Newgate's Jolly Roger "So, what do you saw about you and your crew joining up? Come on it would be fun"

Kaos raises an eyebrow but looks to Luffy, he was the captain so it was his answer that mattered "No thanks we're good"

Ace laughs with a smile on his face "Yeah I had a feeling, though I do wish Pops could have met you 2, would have been a hell of a crazy day. Still, he's the greatest pirate and the greatest man I've ever met, so I'm going to make sure he becomes King of the Pirates"

Luffy frowns "Not if I get there first" he retorts almost childishly, causing his older brothers to chuckle

"You know the rest of the crew are waiting for you Luffy?" Kaos asks standing up properly once more "We should probably head back"

Luffy nods "Good point, hey Ace, come meet our friends" Luffy orders, linking his arm with Ace and beginning to pull him in a random direction, which became the way to the ship with some _gentle_ prodding from the middle sibling.

"So, this crew of yours, who you got?" Ace asks, having not got a good look at the fleeing group just ahead of his brothers during th commosion

"Well there's us of course, but there's also this really tough guy with green hair and fights with 3 swords, he wants to be the greatest swordsman. Then we have a navigator who loves money and tangerines, she even grows them on the ship and they're good. We also have a liar who's wicked with a slingshot and a gunslinger, well Kaos calls her that. We also have a cook who makes the best food ever, and a woman with a mace that turns people into paste in like one shot"

"And that's just the ones from the East Blue" Kaos comments with a grin

"Right, we also have a princess and her giant duck, a guy with exploding boogers, a lemon girl who can make herself really heavy, an artist with magic paint and finally we got a talking reindeer as our doctor, that last one came from Drum Kingdom"

Ace whistles "That's quite a crew you got there"

"I know, everyone is so interesting"

The 2nd division commander meets Kaos' stare and laughs "Probably, but I bet you're the most interesting one of them all"

"Stop right there" the trio follow the barked order mostly out of confusion as scruffy looking men appear from every nearby alley "Fire Fist Ace, your head is mine, it's my ticket to a promotion" the apparent leader of the gang states causing Luffy and Kaos to turn to one another

"Croc's men?"

"Baroque Works"

"Hey those guys with him, don't they look a lot like Straw Hat Luffy and Mirror Master Kaos?" One of the goons notice, causing their leader to double take

"Hey you're right, that promotion is looking more likely with each passing moment. 3 dead pirates and a number is ours!"

"So we should probably get you to your ship before they start to worry" Ace says as the trio walk around the idiots due to being distracted by greed

"Hey, you can't just walk away from us. Get them men!"

What follows is almost predictable at this point, many idiots underestimate the power of Luffy and those close to him and are therefore rather painfully fed dirt. The difference was it was a family bonding moment too, with Ace rather skilfully sidestepping blades and billions, Luffy bouncing around like he'd been fed Caffeine, cocaine and molten sugar directly into his veins and Kaos had forgone his blade in favour of something more physical, that being tossing them around like the cannon fodder they were. This continued right up until the main guy stepped in, nearly splitting Luffy in half before taking a fist to the face… and out the other side.

Ace grins "Nice to see someone's been keeping this dumbass alive in my absence" he teases as Kaos removes his still milky white, though now blood covered hand from the corpse

"You really need to stop sticking yourself into people" Luffy says in the closest he's ever come to deadpan, causing the others to smirk

"Haven't had any complaints yet" Kaos replies, the other 2 laugh and continue the journey while the billions were frozen in fear

Reaching the shore Luffy starts bouncing around excitedly again "I see the ship, it's right there" he says with a grin "Hey guys" he shouts and waves, Kaos pinching the bridge of his nose and Ace laughs, having missed moments like this. The rubber boy loops one arms around Kaos' waist and shoots the other out to the Going Merry, catapulting both of them onto her deck, right on top of Sanji and Victor, something neither of them were happy about

"Luffy you idiot!" Sanji yells, kicking the boy off him, Kaos rolling his eyes as he helps Victor up and readjusts the mans glasses so they were no longer crooked

"Sorry about that…"

"The captain's an idiot, I know" the bomber man finishes with a chuckle, patting himself down, only then did the brothers notice the change in garb.

Nami, Vivi, Kaya and Valentina were dressed as dancers, the first 2 in blue and the latter in yellow, given Alvida's usual outfit she was able to keep it, though switched out her pants for the same skirt as the others. Artemis was spared this fate and was dressed in the bandit costume the guys were wearing, partly due to her age and also because Sanji knew if Kaos even thought he looked at the artist the same way he did every other girl on the crew or he walked passed he'd find out what it feels like to be fisted up to the elbow, or preferable getting hilted by Traptrix and setting it off.

"Nice, but why are you all dressed funny?" Luffy asks in confusion, which just gets him another punch

"We can't just walk around as we were, with you being pirates and me being the princess" Vivi explains "Plus we needed clothes that would let us get through the desert… admittedly letting Sanji get us our clothes instead of say Nami was a bad idea but it's too late to do anything about it no" Kaos laughs at the way Sanji curls up in a corner at Vivi's blunt criticism.

True, hey Kaos, where'd Ace go?"

"Who's Ace?"

"He's our big brother" Luffy and Kaos answer with a smile, it was good to have the family back together even if it was just for a moment, then the elder moves away from the decking, causing Luffy to look at him in slight confusion

"So this is you crew? Seems like a fun bunch" Ace smiles as he lands on deck, causing the other 2 to grin and some of his crew to pale

Luffy laughs before turning to the others "Guys, I want to introduce you to my oldest brother Ace. Ace, this is my crew, we're the Straw Hat Pirates, cause of my hat" he says trying to break the ice, the still shirtless fireman waves with a familiar smile

"Your brother"

"Is Fire Fist Ace"

"Of the Whitebeard Pirates?" 3 of the 4 former Baroque Works Agents ask fearfully, while Artemis was hiding like Chopper, only the correct way so she was mostly hidden behind Kaos

"Papa, is Uncle Ace nice like Uncle Luffy?" she asks quietly, though not enough Ace didn't notice her and turn to his big little brother

"You have a kid already?" he squeaks

"Adopted, more or less. I'm trying to save her mom from Crocodile, well she wants to and I just offered to help"

Ace nods in understanding "Makes sense. The mom… is she hot?" he asks, shocked when Kaos shrugs

"Mama's the most beautiful woman in Paradise" Artemis declares, causing the Whitebeard Commander to ask what to him was an obvious question.

"Your Mom's Boa Hancock? Damn Shimmer you got the full Luck of the D's it seems" he says with a laugh

"No. Amazon Lily is in the Calm Belt between Paradise and the East Blue, it's not technically part of the Grand Line" the artist states bluntly, surprising everyone

"Damn. Hey Luffy, how's it feel to no longer be the youngest, but still be the dumbest person on the crew?" Sanji asks to which Luffy laughs

"Chopper's like 10 and he's our Doctor, I never stood a fucking chance. Shishishi"

"Anyway, thanks for taking care of my little brother, I mean he's a handful so I'm sure both Kaos and I appreciate you not leaving him to watch Luffy on his own" Ace says jokingly, causing a few of the Straw hats to return a smile or nod in agreement

"Handful doesn't even begin to describe it" Nami sighs but her expression is still positive, sure Luffy was a moron and Kaos was insane, but they grow on you and when you're backed into a corner, this was the crew she would want to be on.

"Are we sure this guy is their brother, he acts nothing like them" Usopp whispers

"I'd agree with you, but Luffy and Kaos are really different too, so that doesn't exactly work in your favour" Zoro retorts, but before Usopp could try argue his point Vivi yelps

"Those are the Billion's ships"

"Looks like we have a fire fight on our hands" Victor says, himself and Ussop running to the cannons while Valentina returns to the steering pole.

"Don't worry guy, I'll handle this" Ace calls to them before hopping off the ship onto his much smaller vessel, confusing the Straw Hats, with the exception of captain and first mate who can't stop grinning in anticipation.

"He's going to fight them all by himself?" Kaya asks fearfully

"Relax, you can't work for a Yonko and fall in Paradise, Ace will be fine" Kaos says, partly as a comfort. And he was right, Ace outmanoeuvring the Billion's ships before letting loose the move which got him his name:

 **Fire Fist**

The fireball he produced tore through all the Baroque Work ships with almost no resistance, leaving only his tiny boat intact

"Have I mentioned how glad I am to have already jumped ship as far as Baroque Works in concerned?" Valentina asks, having seen the destruction when she came out onto the deck

"Okay, he's their brother, nobody else is that freakishly strong" Usopp concedes, getting a few chuckles from around the Merry.

 _A little later_

"Luffy, Kaos, I got 2 things for you guys" Ace takes off his hat and pulls out 2 pieces of paper, handing one to each "That Luffy is a Vivre Card, more specifically part of MY card. This will seek out it's owner no matter where they are, so you will always be able to find me and know I'm okay, I know you guys worry about me as much as I you" Luffy's eyes shine as he examines the card, grinning the entire time "As for you, that's the code to get you through to the Queen Den Den Mushi on the Moby Dick, hopefully I'll be wrapping up this job soon and we can keep in touch when I get back to Pop's ship"

"Finally we can do something other than feed the snail Kaos picked up in Loguetown, at least the thing stays in his room though" Nami mumbles as Kaos accepts the Den Den number and Luffy attaches the Vivre card to the brim of his hat "So why are you out here anyway, aren't you the head of an entire division, why are you all alone?"

Ace frowns "I'm out here looking for a man who calls himself Blackbeard…" Ace begins

"We've heard of him, he's the one who was terrorising Drum Kingdom a while back" Alvida interrupts

"Yeah, I heard that too, it's why I was there and was able to leave the message Luffy never got. Anyway, he used to be a Whitebeard pirate, part of my division in fact until he did the unthinkable; he killed a member of our crew and fled. As the head it is my responsibility, so I can't stop until I get him. My most recent information indicates the bastard is in Yuba so that's where I'm heading"

"Hey Vivi, isn't that where we're supposed to be heading?" Luffy asks, the name sounding familiar to him

"Why yes, Yuba is where the rebels are supposed to be stationed"

"Great, Ace, why don't you stick with us for a while, seeing as we're all going the same way" Luffy grins and Ace returns it

"I don't see why not, be nice to spend a little more time with my brothers and their friends" he laughs as the crew toast their temporary new member.

With the marines

"Captain Smoker, Captain Nylock, we're combed the city but no sign of Straw hat or his crew" Tashigi reports, both her superiors frown

"This brat is causing us a lot more trouble than he should" Lucina grumbles, fiddling with the bandage on the cut Kaos gave her

"True, but there's something else that we need to consider" both bluenettes look up in confusion "One of the women in his crew, I think it was Vivi"

Tashigi gasps "Nefetari Vivi, Alabasta's princess?" she asks

Lucina raises an eyebrow "But why would she be with the Straw Hats, they haven't even been a crew as long as she's been out of the public eye so how could their paths have even crossed?"

Smoker sighs, a thick plume of smoke escaping his mouth " I don't know but you're right about one thing, she didn't act like a hostage, she acted like part of the crew" Lucina sneers but Tashigi looked confused

"Captains!" a random marine interrupts their conversation "Mr 11 was killed while we were out looking for Straw hat, who he have not managed to locate yet I'm afraid. We have also not been able to locate his crew or Fire Fist, sorry Captains"

Smoker stands "Then stop, it doesn't matter anyway we know where he's going even if we don't know where he is" at this both women perk up, this was news

"Where is he going?"

"He mentioned Crocodile, so he's heading for him"

"Sir Crocodile, of the 7 WarLords of the Sea?" Tashigi gasps and if the scowl is any indication then for once Smoker and Lucina appear to agree on something, it's one of her more moderate stances if they were all being honest

"Personally I hate the War Lord system, a pirate is a pirate regardless of if you give them a title or not, but Crocodile is one of the worst and on top of that Alabasta is his territory as they call it"

"So that's why Straw Hat is here"

Lucina nods "And maybe it's why Vivi is working with him, if she thinks he can remove the croc from her homeland she might see him as the lesser of 2 evils, it's stupid and naïve to trust a pirate, but there's at least some logic behind it"

"That's settled then, we find Crocodile and Straw Hat will be there as well, and we might be able to get answers out of one of them or maybe even the princess herself"

TBC

LW: Well we've met Mr. 2 and Ace, that's pretty much the main point of this chapter. See you in 2 weeks :D

Bon Clay: Ate the Mane Mane no mi/ Clone clone fruit

He can alter his appearance to match that of anyone he's touched with his right hand, changing back when he touches his own face with his left.

Portas D. Ace/ Fire Fist Ace

Ate the Mera Mera no mi/ Flare flare fruit (2nd logia to show up in the series)

Heat Haze: It's a fireball, a really big fireball

Fire Fist: Honestly reminds me of the pokemon move Fire Punch, only kicked up to eleven, but should we expect any less from a D, who's a division commander for a Yonko, and Luffy's older and stronger brother? Didn't think so

Kaos

Kusarigama/Chain scythe: A Japanese weapon consisting of the aforementioned scythe attached to a metal chain with a heavy weight on the end.

I've mentioned this as well as added it to Kaos' list of forms for the Hebi no Oni no mi, mostly because it is the closest thing I can find to a real weapon that functions like Kaos uses it's base form.


	31. Braving the desert

LW:…. I got nothing, on with the chapter.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Braving the desert

The straw hats were trundling along on the path to Eramalu, the 1st stop on their journey to Yuba where the rebel camp was, during which Luffy and Usopp were (reluctantly) helping Sanji clean, Ace was watching in amusement, Zoro Vincent and Alvida were training, Kaya and Valentina were relaxing and Kaos was helping Artemis with her symbols at the artist's request. According to Nami they were making good time, which may have been one of the reasons Vivi asked them to make land for a moment. Once they did she called over Carue who looked confused

"Listen my friend, I need you to do something very important for me okay?" the duck nods and Vivi puts a letter under her hat "I need you to head to the Capital and deliver this letter to my father, in it are all the information us and Igaram were able to gather on the situation, as well as telling him that I have returned home accompanied by some strange but good friends who are here to help. Got that?"

Quack' Carue nods, doing her equivalent of a smile

"Alright then, stay safe and conserve your water. I'll see you soon" Vivi hugs her duck who nuzzles before hopping off the ship and disappearing in a trail of dust/sand like the Roadrunner "You idiot, pace yourself!" Vivi yells even though Carue was beyond her hearing range "Sigh, well hopefully she makes it to the capital without incident"

"She'll be fine" Artemis predicts "After all, without you on her back she'll be just another duck to Baroque Works"

"I suppose you're right. Nami we can get back to sailing now"

"On it Vivi"

A little while later they reached their destination, at least as far as water travel, everyone covering up (Much to Sanji's disappointment), with the exception of Kaos who just flipped the hood of his cloak. Zoro had just dropped anchor when…

"The hell are those?"

The shore filled with odd Dugong/Turtle hybrids, a fist raised as they cheerfully bleated

"Kung Fu Dugongs, maybe this isn't the best place to anchor" Valentina mumbles

"If you want to come ashore you have to beat me but that's never going to happen you shell-less cowards" Chopper says, everyone looks at him in confusion "What? I'm an animal, I understand them"

"Wait, did you understand Carue?" Vivi asks

Chopper nods "Yep, she reminds me of Nami actually, a sneaky, scaredy cat, but willing to fight when she needs to" the reindeer explains, the navigator smiling and playfully taps his hat, rather than slam his head into the deck for comparing her to a duck.

Usopp smirks "Nobody calls me a coward and gets away with it" he declares as he jumps off the edge of the ship "Usopp attack!"

"Usopp no!" Vivi yells, but it was too late, the odd creature easily able to take out the sniper "Kung Fu Dugongs are really tough"

"They're not so tough" Luffy scoffs, taking out the boss in one punch

"THAT'S BAD TOO!" the bluenette yells, but once more the was nothing she could do, Luffy was now mobbed by sparkly eyed dugongs "When they lose a match they become the winner's pupil"

Ace sighs "Only you Luffy"

"This was a lose/lose situation, maybe Valentina was right" Kaos says as he jumps off the deck, the lemon girl surprised he'd even heard her "Really hope this works" he says mostly to himself "Hey Luffy!"

"Yeah?" Luffy turns, not expecting a punch to the face, of course beign rubber he just bounced back and shot forward, into a reflect armoured fist

 **BANG**

"Wow, nice to see he finally got it to work" Ace chuckles, sounding really impressed, confusing the others until he explained "The reflect armour can turn a devil fruit power back on itself, sometimes even removing it's best qualities, in Luffy's case his immunity to blunt force damage. It just never seemed to work on demand before, it was just something like a 60% chance of success" they nod in understanding as Luffy was on the ground with a missing tooth and a busted lip

"Wh jew hig mey?" Luffy splutters

"Best plan I had to get the dugongs off you" Kaos explains, and he was right, the new problem was…

"Now they're following you around!"

"Shit"

"Any more bright ideas?" Nami asks, a tic forming on the back of her head

"Just one"

Bang!

One of the dugongs yelp as Kaos shoots it in the flipper, the others shake their fists angrily at the purplette before scurrying away in fear

Vivi blinks "Wait, how did you know they detested weapons as they see them as dishonourable?" she asks, ignoring Artemis' amused chuckling in the background

"I didn't, I just though shooting one would get them to go away, and I didn't want to kill any of them unless I absolutely had to. Thick you could remove the bullet before we go chopper?"

The reindeer nods "I got it"

A little later the dugongs were all at the ship again, with Chopper playing translator "You are dishonourable, but strong, and we respect that. Good luck and begone"

"Well that could have gone worse" Zoro thinks aloud as they begin their trek into the desert, Luffy waving at the happy little critters until they are out of sight

"Oh yes" Vincent agrees and they continue walking until Vivi stops dead

"Something wrong Vivi swan?" Sanji asks with heart eyes

"Are we in Yuba yet?" Luffy asks with a grumpy look on his face

"No this isn't Yuba, we are in what remains or Eramalu, what was once known as the city of green" she explains

"This place was green" Luffy wonders, getting a light tap from Nami for his stupidity

Vivi sighs "Look around you, this is what Baroque Works has done to my country, this is what my people have had to suffer through" he declares, Vincent and Valentina look down in guilt, while Artemis just looks on, trying to imagine what this ruin once looked like

"Are you sure, this place looks just a s desert as the last few steps we took?" Zoro asks, knowing his sense of direction this would be common but he was sure Vivi knew her way around the kingdom even in broad strokes

"Yes. Water has always been scarce on this island but through conservation and using it sparingly we were able to make this place flourish like anywhere else in the world, but that was when we still got rain. Something which hasn't happened in 3 years"

"3 years! That can't be natural"

"It wasn't. Never in the history of Alabasta have the rains just stopped, but there was still one place where there was rain, and more of it than usual, Alubarna the capital city. People called it the Kings Miracle, his power over the island allowing his city to remain lush and strong, until one day a cargo ship arrived, carrying dance powder"

"Dance powder?"

Luffy grimaces "That stuff is icky" he mumbles sticking out his tongue in disgust

"A powder which when burnt can summon rain"

"Which should be great, you can have all the water you need" Usopp declares, laughing until he sees Vivi's face

"You'd think that, but the way Dance Powder works it basically steals the rain from other places by making the clouds drop their load early. At this point we'd been experiencing odd weather patterns and no rain had fallen at all outside the Capital"

"So they accused the king of using it to keep his city healthy" Ace guesses to which the princess nods

Exactly. And that's not even mentioning that the production and possession of Dance Powder is illegal by order of the World government"

"But not it's use?" Kaya asks in confusion

"If you can't make it and you can't own it then you can't use it" Kaos answers

"Wait a minute, that means your dad is the bad guy here" Luffy declares, then runs off being chased by an angry Sanji

"Hm, never thought I'd see the day Sanji would defend a man" Kaos mutters

"Anything to get into Vivi's princess pants" Zoro replies, causing a few of the others to chuckle, Chopper to look confused and Vivi to turn beat red.

"Ahem! Anyway, my father was framed, but that didn't matter as a large amount of Dance Powder was found within the palace as well"

"Shit, Crocodile's even got men inside the capital" Usopp gasps

"More likely Miss All Sunday does, she's the face of the Zero Squad after all" Valentina argues

"The lack of rain combined with the destruction of the canal meant the city had no water, and people started to get angry. Most left to try find water in the other oasies and cities, leaving the City of Green to return to the sand" tears drip down her cheeks as she finishes her story, only looking up when a pillar collapses

"He's still the same" Ace smirks as Luffy walks over with a grumpy face on

"Vivi let's move, we've got work to do, rebels to stop and a Crocodile in need of a good ass kicking"

Vivi smiles slightly "Right, I can't just stand here lost in the memories, we need to get to Yuba so I can stop the rebels"

"And how are you going to do that?" Alvida asks

"I'm going to explain what happened, how it was all Crocodile and Baroque Works doing"

"And he'll believe you?"

"It's my only chance"

That evening

"Iiiiiit's freezing, I thought deserts were supposed to be hot" Luffy stutters, picking up Chopper like a stuffed toy and cuddling him, much to the reindeer's annoyance

"You'd think that, but the lack of cloud cover means it's blisteringly hot during the day and freezing cold because there's nothing to hold in the heat" Vivi explains as most of their convoy huddle around the fire or Chopper. The exceptions to this were Ace, being made of fire he was immune to heat and able to raise his internal temperature in order to ignore the cold, as well as…

"Do you think if we put food on his hat we can get him to cook us some supper?" Ace opened one of his eyes to see Artemis and Kaos with their hands rubbing together close to him, acting as if the Whitebeard Commander was a secondary campfire.

"What the…" Ace then chuckles "You've been wanting to do this since I told you my fruit's name haven't you Shimmer?" he asks, to which both his brother and niece (given how easily Whitebeard adopts people Ace takes after his Pops in that regard) respond with shit eating grins, which he actually preferred to any poor attempts at innocence.

"Well we're in the desert…"

"And it's cold, but you're made of fire…"

"So we assumed you'd be okay with sharing the warmth"

Ace rolls his eyes "And you didn't think to just ask me?"

"Nope, then you could have said no" Artemis replies without missing a beat

"Besides you need to use it for yourself anyway, the 2 of use are just mooching of you like we used to mooch off Dadan"

Ace smiles, remembering the bandit, before punching Kaos in the jaw "You may be smart one, but you're also the bonkers one" he says tiredly "Oh and fort eh record, you can use me as your campfire, just don't touch me" he pushes his hat over his eyes and drifts to sleep

After nearly getting killed by scorpions and a sandstorm (Vivi forgetting to inform anyone of these dangers beforehand) the group continued on their journey, trudging through the desert (which the expected amount of complaining from Luffy) before settling for a break in the first bit of shade they found in a while. Now he wasn't dying of heatstroke Luffy was bored again, so when he heard weird croaking he went to investigate and was shocked by what he saw

"Guys you need to come see this!"

"What did you break now Luffy?" Valentina groans as the group head over to him

"I found these birds, they don't look too good"

 _ **CRUNCH SNAP**_

"Hey Chopper can you see if this thing has any diseases, cause if it doesn't maybe we can have Sanji or Ace cook it, it's not much but it should stop Luffy eating all our supplies for a little longer" Kaos asks, tossing the bird to the reindeer, nearly getting flattened by it if he hadn't jumped out of the way, all the time unaware of the scared shitless expression on the remaining birds faces

"Broken neck, body isn't even cold, but it's a desert so that may be normal" Chopper diagnoses "Probably safe to eat"

"Hey all those birds are flying away" Luffy whines, the feathered bandits clearly deciding robbing these pirates wasn't worth their lives and left as quickly as possible "Come back you all look injured"

Vivi walks over to the amused reflect human "Hey Kaos" he turns "I think YOU are what killed that bird. Not that I'm complaining, we're more likely to survive without those birds trying to steal out belongings, but I just thought you should be aware" he shrugged and Vivi helped set up lunch, that really being all she wanted to say on the matter.

Luffy being Luffy the idiot managed to get himself lost within 2 minutes of nobody watching him, leading to another 10 minutes of cursing his name and trying to figure out where he went… when he shows up riding a camel and being chased by a giant purple lizard

"Damn it Luffy, you keep causing trouble everywhere you go" Sanji complains, Zoro not far behind the blond as they run out to save their captain

"Hey guys, want to help kill it?"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

 **Oni Giri**

 **Mutton Shot**

"You know, when all 3, or even just 2 of those guys team up, I almost feel bad for whatever they're fighting" Kaya muses, Alvida nodding while she chuckles

"Yeah, almost" she agrees, before rumbling shakes them out of their reprieve

"I guess none of you knew these guys hunt in pairs?" Vivi asks, getting a resounding yell of NO! from everyone

"Well, guess the monster trio aren't the only ones who get to cut loose today" Victor says with a smile, mirrored by Kaos and Ace

"This is bigger than anything back home, think you can take it?" Kaos teases, his fingers extending through his armour

"I could ask you the same question" Ace replies his arm igniting in preparation

 **Double nose fancy**

 **Homunculus**

 **Fire Fist**

Victor's explosions stunned it, Kaos' finger spikes pierced its brain case and Ace charbroiled it just to be sure to be sure.

"Hey Vivi, can we eat this?" Luffy asks, remembering what happened with the scorpion so wanted to be sure, but Vivi was still a little broken seeing the top predator of the island being killed so easily… TWICE!

"Hey guys, what are we going to do with this camel?" Usopp asks, looking at the grumpy thing in front of him, until Chopper happily bouces over and begins talking to it

"Hey Chopper, you know this guy?" Luffy asks

"Yep, he helped me when I got lost back in the other town. He's friendly and helpful"

"Yay free camel ride" Luffy cheers, trying to get onto the animal's back only for it to bite him on the head and shove him away "Hey, you are a camel, you are meant to be ridden, so let me ride you!"

At this point Chopper plays translator again "I'm greatly appreciated for you saving me and all that, but I refuse to take male passengers"

There was a moment of silence from the reindeer as the other guys of the group beat up the camel

"…I'm afraid I'm much too macho"

 _ **Crunch**_

The noises made by the camel cause Chopper to curl up in a ball, while the animal in question falls to the group, tears, mucus and saliva covering its face

"What did you just do?" Sanji asks, before Vivi steps around to the back of the animal, where Kaos was

"Hm, that shouldn't have worked" she notes, causing the purplette to raise an eyebrow "With riding camels the males are gelded, usually"

"Then I guess I fixed a mistake" Kaos says with a shrug

"Any chance it grew back?" Alvida asks, Vivi actually chuckling at the idea

"I don't think any animal can regrow it's testicles, especially after the procedure is done **properly** " she emphasises the last word to an amused Kaos

"Sanji could if Nami told him she'd sleep with him" Zoro mutters, earning sniggers from Victor, Alvida and Ussop, as well as a foot to the face from said cook.

"Still, a free ride is a free ride" Nami shrugs before jumping onto eyelash's back "Come on Whoa!" the ginger yelps as Artemis is dropped on her lap by Kaos before she could offer the spot for Vivi "Hey, what's the big idea?"

"Artemis is a child, you're just lazy" he replies, confident Nami wasn't going to get off the camel to hit him, and risk losing her spot to one of the other girls. He was right, as Nami just grumbled before placing Artemis on the seat behind her.

The crew had to take a minor detour when they ran into some sand pirates, but nothing much happened other than meeting some bitch with a grudge against Vivi, that and losing Ace for a couple hours. The sand pirate's captain, a large man with an umbrella on his head was nice enough to give them a lift to just off from a small village called Edo, so that was nice of him.

"Hey guys" everyone stops for a moment before seeing it to be Ace riding some kind of lizard waddling towards them

"Oh, so that's where he went" Luffy wonders, then is promptly distracted by the food and water his brother was hauling "Yay stuff!"

"Yep, dig in, there's stuff for everyone"

Sanji smiles "This should keep us going another while, at least as long as we stop Luffy eating everything"

"We'll just put him back under the cactus juice if need be" Kaos replies with a shrug, getting slaps on the knee from Chopper and Kaya "I'm kidding, don't want to risk the idiot OD'ing on that crap"

Vivi walks up to Ace, tentatively "Ace, I'm fairly sure you didn't use money to obtain these good, but please tell me you didn't steal from these people, who are struggling to get by as it is?"

Ace laughs "Nah that's not my style, besides that village over there doesn't appear to be exactly struggling. Not important anyway, I was given it by the rebel army" Vivi's yell caused more than a few of the straw hats to either spit take or choke on their food/water "Well I suppose it's not exactly the right term, more fake rebels, it's quite a good system too"

"Wait, how can there be fake rebels?" Usopp asks confused

"Simple really, they say they're rebels and the village hires them to protect the village something the actual rebels may do. It's not that hard, you look tough, have the confident swagger and you're golden. Like I said I think the idea is quite smart"

Nami doesn't look convinced "But it can't be that simple, surely someone would have figured it out or they'd have been found out by now"

"Not necessarily" Victor answers "Knowing a village, settlement or even an island is under someone's protection can scare away small time bandits, knowing it's the rebel army, who are strong enough they're giving the royal army themselves trouble and that keeps most of the others away. It's like how only the stupid attack islands that are Warlord bases, like Crocodile in Alabasta or Doflamingo in Dressrosa, you know there's something big and powerful there to kick you to the curb"

"Exactly, so let's just let it go and head to your destination, you are on the clock after all" Ace suggests to the now silent Vivi

"You want to do something, don't you?" Alvida asks with a smirk

"If they're actually doing their job they can call themselves whatever they want, but that's the problem, we don't know if they would actually protect the village they're squatting in"

Kaos sighs while Artemis smirks from Eyelash's back "You want to test their resolve don't you? _Idiot_ " he asks with a groan, mostly when she nods enthusiastically in response "Fine but don't be disappointed when this goes tits up"

 _20 minutes later_

The rebels, step out of the city gates, intending to run as soon as they had the chance, only to almost walk right into Luffy, his expression serious for the occasion, behind him were Kaos and Alvida, with Sanji, Usopp, Zoro and Chopper flanking them.

" _Shit there's nowhere to run"_

Prepare to be defeated dastardly pirates, by the invincible rebel army" the town's mayor yells from the top of the gates

"What a fat man, are we sure this island is experiencing a famine?" Kaos mutters, Alvida biting her lip to stop a chuckle

"So according to the bowling ball you guys are the real deal, guess that means it's time to fight" Luffy deadpans

There was much heming and hawing before their apparent leader steps forward "Sure you cn try fight us, but there's much more than 4, guarding this village are 100,000,000!"

"100,000,000!" Luffy screams, till he gets face planted by Kaos and Alvida

"Idiot, this is the same trick Usopp used on us, it's only slightly less moronic because he's that desperate" the reflect human growls

"Oh yeah" Luffy claps, breaking character for a second before he frowns "Lie to me you bastards!"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

Luffy's attack shoots the blond leader of the group through the door and part way down the path into the village, the man just lying there while the others panic

"This was a bad idea" Valentina comments from behind the rock the rest of the Straw Hats were observing from behind

"Yeah, but until Vivi gives the go ahead we have to let it play out, captain's orders" Victor reminds her

The lemon girl frowns "I hate that pirate rule" she grumbles to Artemis' amusement

Kaos ruffled through his cloak and pulls out a pocket watch "How long did Vivi say we needed to play this game?"

Alvida shrugs "Until something happens. I don't think we needed to be here, never mind the other 4, Luffy is dealing with them just fine" Kaos nods, though as the only other crewmates with bounties it helped raise the stakes and see just what would happen.

Seeing as they weren't in any rush (it's not like they have to be anywhere or something) Luffy casually strolled over to the rest of the rebels, stepping into what would be considered normal melee range and drew back his fist…. Only for the oldest to catch it. He looked pretty bruised and his nose was bleeding badly but he was standing and looked a lot more ready to fight than he did a minute ago.

"I'll admit we're not rebels, we said we were so we wouldn't be starving any more. We wish we could become as strong as our heroes, but we're just thugs and cowards. You may be able to beat us to a pulp, but I'm done running, I'm going to give those kids someone to look up to" he says, putting as much of his heart into his words as he still could.

Luffy blinks, then smiles "I believe you" he says then turns and yells "Hey Vivi, I think this village is safe with these guys guarding it, can we go now?"

"IDIOT!" Vivi and Nami yell, popping out of cover

"Is the show over, can we head to Yuba now?" Artemis asks as she walks over to a laughing Kaos and sniggering Alvida, Usopp and Chopper

"yeah I think we're done, get up you've spent long enough on pervert camel, your mother will kill me if she finds out"

Artemis laughs as she climbs on his back, not telling him about the eye on the wall in front of them. With a small wave they head off after Luffy, currently being chased by an angry ginger and bluenette _'Too late papa she saw everything'_ she thinks with a smile, resting her head on his shoulder, waving to Ace when he finally catches up to them.

TBC

LW: I didn't think it would happen this quickly, but my pattern of using about 3-4 episodes to make each chapter from may be coming around to bite me in the ass soon enough. Until then oh well.

R&R


	32. Filler and Yuba

LW: The problem with how long it's been since I saw early One Piece, is I don't know what's filler and what's important until I rewatch the episodes. Such as the last couple chapters. Oh well, hopefully the story is still interesting for you guys.

Rubber King and Mirror – Filler, and Yuba (Aka desert chapter no. 2)

The next stage of their journey was uneventful, other than the usual ruckus Luffy Sanji and this time Usopp caused, which was why Vivi decided to help pass the time with a story which turned out to be rather important in the end.

They learnt that the rebel leader Koza was a childhood friend of Vivi's, which some assumed was the reason she believed that she could talk sense into the man. Luffy had his patented ' _don't give a shit_ ' expression which usually followed someone giving a back-story, though he was soon distracted by what turned out to be a giant desert scorpion, something which also turned out to be much tastier than expected once Mera Mera flame grilled.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Kaya asks while they watch the tri daily fight over food, this time Zoro getting involved because Luffy stole his food

"The best we can do is follow Vivi's directions, it's not like anyone else in this group had even been to Alabasta before now" Kaos answers, getting shrugs from Ace and the former baroque works teams

"I've been here before, just not Yuba. Mama works in Rainbase" Artemis adds, Kaos making a mental note to go there when they were done, if their search for Crocodile didn't lead them there first

"Hey look, flying meat" Luffy yells

"Oh no he caught us"

"Run Chip"

"Cool it talks too, get back here meat!" Luffy immediately runs off, to the confusion and annoyance of his crew

"I don't think it's possible, but has he gotten dumber since I left?" Ace asks, getting a shake of the head from the remaining brother

"He's as impulsive as ever, which while resembling stupidity, isn't" he replies before standing up and beginning to walk in the direction Luffy just disappeared in

"He's gone" a young boy sighs

"Yay, real meat, we never get this kind of food in the badlands"

"True, so eat it slowly 10 days without food means stuffing your face is a bad idea"

"The badlands huh?"

"Can I have some of the meat if you're not going to eat it all?"

The boys tense before turning to see Kaos sitting on the rock behind them, and Artemis sitting cross-legged beside them (How she got there, they weren't sure)

The older looking boy gulps and draws a pistol "Stay back, we don't want any trouble but I will us this if I have to" he stutters

"You're rude" Artemis pouts, reaching for her brush but Kaos waves it off

"You know, I have a rule of not letting people try to threaten me" he states flatly

"Then come and gggget it" says, pulling the trigger as his younger brother tackles him

 _Ping_

"Word of advice, only fire at something you can hit" Ace critiques as he makes himself known as well as drawing the others to his location

"He deflected the bullet with a rock, just how strong is he?" the smaller boy gasps, shuddering, but the older one rushes over

"Please help us mister I need you to find someone for us. Do this and I'll even pay you, 1 million beri" he pleads

"1million?" Nami asks with a raised eye brow

"Where would a kid get that kind of money?" Alvida asks curiously, seeing Vivi shrug out the corner of her eye

"Please, I can't give it to you all at once, but once I'm a grown up I'll do it" he then pulls out a photo from his pocket "I need you to find this man. He's a bounty hunter, the name's Scorpion"

Zoro looks suspiscious "What's a couple of kids looking for a bounty hunter for?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm looking for this guy too, he's the reason I was heading to Yuba but if he's out here then that just makes things easier" Ace replies, accepting the job

"We're going on another detour aren't we?" Artemis mumbles, oddly enough getting a nod from Chopper in response.

"So, how the fuck are we going to find this guy?" Valentina complains "The desert is huge and there are basically no landmarks, we've not even made it to Yuba"

Turns out finding someone isn't that hard when they're also actively seeking you out, as was discovered when Scorpion showed up on an ostrich, alongside Luffy

"Hey guys, this old guy just gave me a lift on his bird"

"LUFFY YOU IDIOT!" was yelled in stereo by almost everyone involved

"So, do you think you can fight in an honourable battle pirate?" Scorpion asks, charging at Ace with his ostrich

"Remember this is serious, so don't pull any punches or it'll be boring" Luffy cheers

"I wasn't planning…. Ah forget it" Ace sighs and steps forward just as Scorpion shoots a net him, the Commander actually seemed amused, letting the net envelop him before using his fruit power to produce a strong enough fireball to send it back at the man, knocking him off his bird and causing him to roll around in pain from the hot corded net.

"Damn, well I guess you have some skills, and if it were easy it wouldn't be any fun" Scorpion laughs, pulling out his next gadget

"You've got some skills yourself, if I weren't a Logia that might have been a small problem" Ace compliments, then dodges a blast of foam which tore a hole through the rock behind him

"This compressed air extinguisher foam blaster should do the trick, no problems" he laughs and continues to fire at Ace who dodges every shot before burying his fist in the man's gut, knocking him to the ground.

Ace frowns "You lied didn't you? You never beat Blackbeard, you just said you did so I'd come looking for you?"

Scorpion wheezes "Correct, but while you're here I'm going to take you down…"

"Father stop he'll kill you" one of the boys scream, stopping everyone in their tracks

"Did he say"

"Father?"

"Explains why these kids know a bounty hunter"

"He's their dad"

Scorpion grimaces "Don't worry boy's I'll be fine"

"Stop the fight" one of the boys yells as they both slide down the dune to their father "Please stop, we don't want to lose you"

"We understand what you're trying to teach us now, but we want you to stop before it kills you, we want you to be safe"

Scorpion sniffles as he pulls himself to his feet "I need to do this, to show you what a man can do when he doesn't give up on his dreams" he clicks and Popo brings over a bazooka, which he points at Ace and lights "This ends here" he announces with all the confidence he can muster, until he feels small arms on his legs

"Please Dad just come home, that's all we want that's our dream"

"I want to go home, I'll never complain again I just want you back, that's all I want"

Seeing his boys cry broke the resolve he was clinging to, droping his weapon her pulls the 2 into a hug, unfortunately when he dropped it the bazooka went off, shooting it's projectile into the structure behind them, causing it to fall towards them, they were nearly killed except…

 **Fire Fist**

Ace jumped forward, his attack either knowing away or outright destroying any falling rubble in this path. There was shock and awe from some of the spectators, but Chip and Dip were more worried about their dad.

"Hey old guy, you still alive?" Luffy asks with his usual bluntness, getting a sigh from beneath the man's hat before he pulls himself to his knees

"Of coure I am, you think I'd leave my kids to fend for themselves? Ha" he laughs before being tackled by the boys, happy they would be going home and that their dad would be okay.

 _A little later_

"Are you sure you have to leave?" Luffy asks with a frown, most of the others just and unhappy to see him go, mostly because it meant they were stuck with Luffy

Ace nods sadly "Yeah, Blackbeard's not in Alabasta which was the reason I was tagging along on your trek. Luckily Scorpion heard news that bastard has been spotted westward, so that's my next destination. Hold onto that Vivre Card Lu, and remember to call when all this is over sparkles, hopefully I'll have this situation dealt with and be back on the Moby Dick soon enough" the brothers hug, promising to be even stronger pirates when they next meet and Ace leaves, using his powers to make light work of the desert now he was going solo

 _The next day_

"Anyone else miss Ace? Especially now we're stuck with just these 2?" Sanji asks, but before anyone can reply Kaos and Luffy punch him into the sand Nami style

"Hey Vivi" Nami calls, ignoring the guys fighting "How much further"

The bluenette smiles as she turns "Just a little more, Yuba is basically right over there we just need to hold on a little longer" she declares, getting cheers from a good portion of the crew

"Finally, I have sand in places I really don't want" Valentina complains

"Too much information" Usopp grumbles, then has to run away from an angry lemon girl

"Well ay least it's motivating him to keep moving" Kaya says to Chopper with a tired smile, which the reindeer returns

A little later Luffy was complaining again "Come on, are we there yet? Is that Yuba?" he asks, pointing off into the distance

Vivi frowns "Something's not right….. oh shit! The entire area is being struck by a sandstorm" she yelps

"Another one, are they common here?" Alvida asks

"Alabasta? Yes. The Yuba region? No they're quite rare, making this all the more unnerving"

By the time they reached the town the storm had luckily dissipated, but the trail of destruction was clear

"This place looks just as bad as the last town we've come across" Zoro grumbles

"Well I doubt it's all the easy for a town of this size to get through a sandstorm without ending up looking like a shithole by the end. And given the current climate on the island I get the feeling things are much harder for everyone, and recovery much slower" Kaos retorts, luckily both were far enough away from Vivi she didn't respond to them directly

Luffy frowns as he scans the horizon "Water! Where's the water? They said they're be water!"

"While I only do this rarely I have to agree with the idiot, isn't this place supposed to be an oasis or something?"

Vivi nods "Yes, but it seems even this oasis has been lost, either buried or just dried up"

The 1st option looked more likely when they noticed an old man digging, or more when he noticed them "Hello, you travellers must be exhausted from travelling in the desert heat. As you can see this town is quite parched as well, but that doesn't mean you can't stay here and rest, I don't turn away those in need" he says politely "There are plenty of places to stay, Yuba prided itself on its inns and hospitality don't you know?"

Vivi's eyes glistened as she pulled up her collar "Thanks, but we're looking for the rebel army…"

That was clearly the wrong this to say as the old man got angry and started throwing things at the group. The anger then moved form him to the pirates when he informed them the rebels were gone, had been for a while.

"Do you know where they are?" Vivi asks hopefully

The man shakes his head "Those idiots could be anywhere now. With no rain in 3 years the desert began to change, sandstorms became for common and this town was hit with many. Eventually our oasis was lost and the town became what you see before you. With nothing of value left the rebels packed up and left for other places most of them in Katorea, now it's just me here."

Luffy notices Vivi look faint "Um, is Katorea close to here Vivi?"

She shakes her head "No, it's near Nanohana, where we first made land, we'd be quite literally going back the way we came"

The old man pulls himself from his pit "Vivi? Is that you?" he asks, causing the collective thought of _'ah fuck!'_ to pass through everyone bar Vivi herself, who looked confused "It's me Vivi, I've seen better days and I've lost a lot of weight but it's so good to see you again" he tears up but smiles brightly, causing the bluenette to gasp

"Toto? It's can't be" she whispers, remembering a fat man with a jolly smile, like Santa but minus the beard, the moustache was the way it had been all those years ago but the almost skeletal man was very different than what she'd have expected.

Toto smiles "Hello my princess, it does me the world of good to see you once more. I know whatever has happened, it wasn't you or the king's fault, he was a good man, he'd have never done this to his people" he says, tears slipping down his cheeks, matched by Vivi's own face "I believe in the king, most people do, but these rebels are stirring things up and making everything worse. What's more, they've reached a limit in power and know this is there last chance, their next attack will be their last: victory or death" Vivi whimpers "Please princess, end this madness, please" Toto collapses to the ground and cries

"Toto my friend, don't worry" Vivi says, placing her hand on his shoulder "We're going to fix this, on my honour I swear it"

TBC


	33. Crocodile here we come

LW: Here we go, time to meet the true enemy of this arc, face to face.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Crocodile here we come!

"Hey old guy, where's the water, I still see no water" Luffy complains "How can you live here it's really bad"

Toto sighs and stops digging "I'm still here because the oasis of Yuba still exists even if it is buried under all this sand. I won't let it break me I'll dig up this sand and make my village liveable again if it's the last thing I do"

"Oh. Well in that case, lets get rid of all this sand and get us some water" Luffy cheers, Vivi and Toto look surprised, but happy the crew were trying to help so genuinely "And I have a great plan too Shishishi"

Nami groans "Run it by us first, you're not exactly a strategist Lu"

"I just need Kaos, Victor, Valentina and some rope. You still got any Nami?" the navigator sighs deeply before pulling out several feet of rope from wherever.

"Well Zoro's not part of your plan so you're not simply digging it out. What are you playing at then?" Usopp asks in confusion

"Same here, I understand Victor's being part of this plan, me and Val not so much" Kaos adds

"I know how strong you are and you're the tallest here. I need you to throw Valentina really high" Luffy explains, stretching his arm straight up

"This is insane, also why did you need the rope?" Vivi asks, hoping the answer made more sense than what she believed his plan to be

"She's a Devil Fruit user duh. If all goes right we'll have water, but that means she'll sink to the bottom if we don't have a way to get her back" Luffy explains "Now let's make sure the first part works… Victor"

 **My nose fancy cannon**

"Awesome big hole" Luffy cheers "See, we need to make a big hole, then we have Valentina drop down at full power to give it that last bang!" he grins madly and oddly enough some of the others joined him

"As plans go, that's not terrible" Zoro admits

"It could go very wrong but no point not trying"

Victor walks over to Kaya and hands her his gun "Just for the job, I highly doubt you regularly carry explosive rounds on your person" he jokes

"No, in fact before Loguetown I didn't carry any weapons regularly"

"So, are we doing this?" Usopp asks, having pulled out a solid handful of his explosive pellets

Luffy nods "Once the hole is big enough toss her" he orders, Nami having secured her rope around Valentina's waist, while Artemis sat between Vivi and Toto, content to watch the fireworks "Begin"

 **Double Nose Fancy**

 **Breeze breath Bombs**

 **Exploding Star**

 **Chi Chi Bomb**

 **Gum Gum Bazooka**

"Looks like it's your turn Val" Kaos offers a hand, which she plants her heel on, smiling as he gives her a leg up

 **1kg bounce**

 **10,000 kg press**

The resulting shockwave knocked a few of the watchers over, most notably Toto simple due to age and drought induced weakness, though Nami and Vivi weren't far behind him. By the time they got back up, Kaos was pulling a soaked Valentina from the pit

Toto gasps "You-you did it! How could I possibly repay you?"

"Letting us have some of the water would be nice" Kaya suggests to which the old man laughs, a little harder after Nami pipes in about somewhere to sleep that wasn't sand

"Of course of course, it's the least I can do as I wouldn't have any at all without you nice people"

 _The next day_

"I wish you the best on your travels and for the road" Toto smiles, handing a small water barrel to Luffy who grins widely

"Thanks old guy, we're going to kick Crocodile's ass and make this country somewhere good to live in again" he waves at the now once more smiling man, the rest of the crew doing the same

Things were quiet for about an hour, before Luffy just stopped

"Hey, we don't have time for games, we need to head back the way we came and get to the rebel base to get them to stop fighting" Sanji yells, but the straw hat just continues to sit, joined by a tired Artemis and Kaos though the latter was more standing nearby curiously

"I quit" Luffy replies, batting aside the swirly browed cook when he tries get in his face (to the amusement of about half the crew at any other time) "Vivi, all I want to do is kick Crocodile's ass from here to the Red Line. That's why we're here, because dealing with him fixes your problems. Going to Katorea and talking to the rebels won't do much, because they're not the real problem, HE is"

"The kid can be blunt as his powers sometimes" Victor notes

"Yeah but he does cut through everything else to get to the heart of the matter" Val retorts

"Luffy"

"You wanted things to go in such a way that nobody dies in this fight, not any citizens, not a royal or rebel or even any of us, am I right Vivi?"

The bluenette looks confused "Of course I want to end this fight without bloodshead and death…." She's once more interrupted, this time by a hissing chuckle

"Sesese. It's almost funny how idealistic and naïve you are Vivi. Wake up princess this is a war and people die, its already too late for everything to just be sorted with a quick chat and a how'd you do, there are already casualties, the best we can do is minimise it by taking out the root cause" Kaos states, then blinks when one of Vivi's jewels split his cheek

"You bastard!" she screams before leaping at him

"Shouldn't we at least try break them up?" Nami asks, not seeing the point of the fight, though Zoro and Alvida had already knocked Sanji out to stop him ' _defending_ ' Vivi. Luffy shakes his head and chuckles

"Nah, Vivi needs this and it's not like Kaos is taking it seriously so it's all good" he says with a shrug and even just from what she's seen he had a point: other than snapping the slasher Kaos didn't even use his devil fruit powers, most likely because Vivi wasn't a brawler like Alvida or Luffy so with the exception of a lucky shot to the kidney Kaos probably didn't really feel like he was being attacked (especially given he grew up with Luffy,Ace and Sabo, as well as Garp's _Training_ ). It made her think they were waiting either for Vivi to get tired or Kaos to get bored

There was a part of Nami that expected the fight to end with something as unsportsmanlike as a nut shot, she just didn't expect Kaos to catch Vivi's knee, and flip her so she was eating sand

"Are you done beating yourself up Vivi, you can't save this kingdom all alone" Kaos asks, sitting in front of her while Chopper makes sure there was no severe damage done to either of them

Vivi sniffles, her pride more broken than anything else "What else can I do, I don't have anything else to throw at Crocodile but myself" she grumbles, then yelps as she receives two smacks to the head "Hey!"

"Did the idiot make you forget the entire trip here?" Alvida asks through gritted teeth

"You need to let people help you Vivi, so just let us, aren't we your friends!" Luffy shouts, hoping it would get through Vivi's thick skull that way

The princess finally cracks, falling against Alvida as she cries into the older woman's chest, as she smooth woman runs her fingers through her hair. Meanwhile Luffy smacks Kaos for being an idiot and interfering, but he just smirks and lets Artemis sit on his lap while they wait for their next move. Finally Vivi was ready to move once more, standing with a determined and serious expression on hr face

"There we go, game face. So… where do we find Crocodile?" Luffy asks with a shark like smile, his eyes hidden below his hat

"Rainbase, the casino there, it's the owned by Crocodile and the man's only legitimate business I could find"

"Technically Baroque Works is a legitimate business, mercenary companies do pop up from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that, especially as you're often just outsourcing shit you don't want to do to people willing to get paid for it. The problem is simply the way it's being used, destabilising the country and trying to start a civil war" Kaos adds as he and Artemis also stand, the other former agents nod at least in understanding if not outright agreement.

"Anyway" Vivi interrupts as she pulls out the map " The good news is unlike the rebels in Katorea who are basically on the other side of the island to us, Rainbase is a little north of Yuba, about a day's walk if I'm not mistaken" she says partly to herself as she looks for the town on the map, smiling and putting a finger on it and Yuba to prove her point

"Then let's get a move on, I have an idiot who's ass I want to introduce to my foot" Luffy jumps up and begins marching on, until he gets a tug on his pants from Artemis, having been sent over by Vivi to explain he was going in the exact opposite direction "Opps. Thanks kiddo"

"No problem, I don't want to lose my silly uncle Luffy" the artist grins in a way that seemed familiar but not quite the same, but Luffy stops caring, lifts up the now squealing/giggling girl and runs after the others

 _Later_

Given it was Alivda and Valentina's turn on Eyelash you'd be right to assume Nami was going to bitch and moan the entire trip… right until Vivi explained why Rainbase was still so full of life despite the 3 year drought: it was a gambling town, actually quite similar to Las Vegas in the real world, even surrounded by desert (Vivi didn't say any of that, but I am to help you understand). Needless to say Nami found a lot of spare energy to continue trudging through the sand, imagining all the money she could win or steal from the people there.

"Hey Vivi, are we nearly there yet?" Luffy asks, now Usopp had stopped bugging him for Toto's water, mostly because Zoro had finally gotten annoyed enough by his begging and attempts at stealing it from their captain he kicked the sniper over Eyelash.

"We still have a little more to go" Vivi assured Luffy who nods and keeps walking "Hey Lu"

"Yeah"

"Thanks for helping me figure out what to do, I don't know how I'd be able to repay you"

"Join my crew" Luffy replies without thinking, nor looking back to see Vivi's shocked face "Or feed us, either will do. I hope some of the people who've joined us on this trip stay, they're nice people. Except the pervert camel, he can fall in a hole when all this is over"

"Papa, can I stay with you when you guys beat Crocodile?" Artemis asks, standing between Kaos and Victor as they walked

"This will come as no surprise to you, but the best answer I can give right now is… ask your mother" Kaos answers honestly, though Kaya and Chopper chuckle behind him

"Do you think any of the others will?"

Kaos laughs "Luffy hasn't let anyone go yet, you should have seen the amount of work he put in to recruiting Nami, and she stole our ship right from under us. Not even Sanji was that difficult to have join up and besides them it was pretty easy to get everyone else on board"

Artemis nods "So pretty good record, sounds like we have nothing to worry about"

"Exactly Fufufu"

 _More Later_

"FINALLY!" Was the collective yell of Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and surprisingly Nami as they reach the city of Rainbase, the boys running on ahead in search of water, while Nami was wringing her hands and chuckling as she spots the enormous casino in the centre of town.

Meanwhile in the Sand café Smoker, Tashigi and Lucina were sitting and waiting

"Do you really think the straw hats are dumb enough to attack a Warlord?" Lucina asks, though there was less contempt than the other bluenette expected

"Yes, Straw Hat basically announced it when we last saw them, it's the reason they're here in Alabasta"

"And you think there's some kind of connection between them, Crocodile and the situation here in Alabasta?" Tashigi asks to confirm

"I don't know what but there is something off here" he grumbles, lighting another cigar

"Plus there's princess Vivi being seen associating with the crew, not a good sign and especially not something the Nefatari's will want known publicly" Lucina adds, knowing how dragons work as well as how this will need to be covered up somehow

While this conversation was going on a small commotion was going on, not that the marines cared… until Smoker turned to get a drink and noticed a very recognisable hat out of the corner of his eye. He froze, alerting the other 2 that something was off, just as Luffy and Usopp feel eyes boring holes in their skulls. Pulling down the barrels they'd been chugging they look and immediately spit take at the fact there were 3 rather competent marines right there beside them

"Run!"

"Protect the water" Usopp and Luffy scream as they flee the scene

"They're here, Tashigi alert the marines, Lucina, see what's taking the Black Cage corp so long to meet up with us" Smoker orders before taking off

"On it Sir" Tashigi salutes

"Where is Hina, she should have been here already" Lucina scowls before seeking the wayward captain and her underlings ' _The idiot can't have gotten lost can she?_ '

"What are the damn marines doing here?" Luffy asks as the 2 continue to run

"How should I know?" Usopp argues back "Less talking more running!"

As the 2 get in sight of the others, Sangi sighs heavily "Well they're back, but they've brought the marines with them"

"The marines! Then why the hell are they leading them back to us?" Nami shrieks, beginning to panic

"Not important right now, let's just get out o here" Zoro retorts and the crew bolt

"We're too big a group to actually sneak away" Vivi notes worryingly

Kaos shrugs "Then let's split up. We'll take the left, you guys take the right, then just keep running till they stop chasing you? Or better yet, seeing as stealth just got torched, where's Crocodile hanging out in this place?"

Vivi rolls her eyes but answers "The building with the alligator on it's roof, it's called Rain dinners and it's where we would have been heading had Luffy and Usopp not run off earlier. So…. All meet up there, maybe?"

"Anyone got a problem with that?" Victor asks

"Nope, see you all there" Luffy says before bouncing up into the air "Hey Smokie, bet you can't catch me!"

"You cheeky little brat" Smoker growls before shifting into smoke and coiling around Luffy

 **White plume**

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

Luffy expands just before Smoker could tighten his grip, scattering the logia for long enough that Luffy was able to hit the ground and run off, much to the marine's annoyance

As distractions go, Zoro was a little delayed not by his inability to understand directions but by running into Tashigi, luckily Alvida was around to distract the sword otaku for long enough he was able to get away

The team cowards (Nami and Ussop) made it to Rain dinners rather quickly as they ran as fast as possible in the hope of avoiding danger

Kaos managed to lose Artemis and narrowly avoid running into Lucina along with a group of marine grunts she had under her, deciding the direct approach was a good plan right about now, bumping back into Kaya on the way

Artemis wasn't actually lost, she just decided to stick close to Vivi once Luffy gave the go ahead to split up, not having time to alert her papa, plus she knew Mama was around so she'd be safe.

The other Baroque work agents were a little apprehensive about fighting their old boss on his home turf so decided to take the long way to Rain Dinners, what this meant was they were nowhere near the casino when…

"Guys, just run I can't shake this guy" Luffy shouts as he barrels towards them, Smoker a little behind but still poofing

"He's called the White Hunter for a reason you know" Kaos mumbles but they all run in just as Luffy catches up to them, galloping up the steps and into the casino proper

After convincing Luffy just yelling wasn't going to help the 6 of them tried come up with a plan… for about 5 seconds before they were interrupted again

"Straw Hat! You think I'm letting you get away that easily"

"Shit it's smokie, let's just run" Luffy orders, and unsurprisingly the other agreed, interestingly when in a panic Luffy appeared unaware he'd ploughed through the building's security/bouncers in his mad dash to avoid Smoker, something which would have amused at least Nami and Kaos at any other time

"Oh Manager so glad you were there we have a bit of a situation" a grumpy looking man with pointy hair explains in a flustered tone

"Send them to the VIP lounge" Miss All Sunday replies with a small smirk "Crocodile's been expecting them"

"Oh, of course ma'am, we would have done it already if we'd known to expect these strange people" the man nods and Robin turns her gaze to the straw hats, finding Luffy rather easily as well as the guy who reminds her of a completely different Warlord to her current Boss. They were strange, she'll give them that much.

"Anyone else worried or confused right about now?" Kaos asks, as they're now clearly being directed to the VIP lounge

"Yeah, this screams trap" Nami nods

"Worry about it later, anything that keeps us away from the marines is welcome" Usopp pipes in fearfully

"Don't they give free drinks in places like this?" Zoro thinks aloud, thought clearly he's not being listened to as they all run through the door to a plain white corridor

"V.I.P., Pirates. Hey let's go that way" Luffy yells as they spot a sign just where the corridor splits

"Luffy this is by far the dumbest plan I've ever heard you come up with. How can you not see an obvious trap like that?" Nami ask/yells at him as they keep running

"Would you like to discuss this with Smoker?" Luffy asks in a surprisingly good deadpan

"Like I was saying, best plan we've got so full speed ahead" the thief quickly backtracks, speeding up so slightly to right behind Luffy, rather then between Ussop and Zoro. As one they turn and find… a wall. This appears to basically just be a cul-de-sac inside the building. Well until Smoker runs up behind them, then the floor opens up and they all fall into the darkness

"As far as traps go, a pitfall wasn't on my list of expected outcomes"

Nami nods "An indoor trap hole, got to hand it to him on originality" the thief grumbles as she sits up

"I feel weak" Luffy mumbles, like Usopp having been pounding at the bars of their cage until a moment ago

"Ah crap, what's wrong now?" Zoro sighs, then moves to stand when Smoker smacks Luffy to the ground and pins him with his jitte

"What the Hell, I feel so weak, it's like being underwater" Luffy says tiredly, blinking slowly up at the marine

"The tip of my weapon is made of kerioseki, also known as sea prison stone. It's a rare mineral found in a distant corner of the ocean (also known as Wano) that can weaken devil fruit users as well as negate some of their strengths"

"Such as you actually winning by fighting Luffy with a blunt object" Kaos guesses "Or being able to hit someone like you while in your element" he adds with a smirk

Smoker growls but nods "Correct. All marine cells are made with this material to stop Devil Fruit users from escaping"

"Which means you're stuck with us too" Nami gasps, realising what Smoker wasn't telling them

He frowns "It's the only reason I'm still in here and you aren't all being carted off to the nearest execution platform, as I doubt you're worth the trip to Marineford"

Crocodile raises an eyebrow at the catch _'It can't be that easy'_ he thinks as he looks at the captured Straw Hats, and Smoker, especially as none of them have noticed his prescience

Zoro grits his teeth and reaches for his swords, Kaos doing the same with Hebi, feeling it coil around his arm.

"Stop it right now you idiots, this is a bad time to fight, plus what good will a sword do against someone who can turn into smoke?" Nami asks both angrily and fearfully

"She's right" Crocodile's rough voice pierces the air "You're all going to die together, there's no need to kill each other so soon" the chair turns with a creek, revealing the smirking War Lord to the group, the man unsurprised by the matching scowls on most of their faces.

"Crocodile, come closer so I can kick you asaaaaa" Luffy flops onto his back, having grabbed the bars in his anger

Crocodile chuckles, the boy's stupidity was quite entertaining "You've done well to make it this far Straw Hat, and for that I'll make sure your death is swift, as well as the rest of your crew. Once our special guest arrives that is"

"Guest?" Kaya asks, whimpering when Crocodile's focus turns to her, as well as his smile

"Why even as we speak my partner is out there retrieving her, shouldn't be too much longer"

 _Meanwhile outside Rain dinner_

Vivi was dealing with a good number of millions, especially with the assistance of Artemis, (none of the other 3 able to find the wayward princess, though they were looking) but there were just too many for the 2 of them to deal with

"You're good, as to be expected from number agents, but it's time to give up, the boss is waiting after all" one of the millions says with a leering smirk after smacking Vivi upside the head with his rifle

 _ **BANG BANG BANG BANG**_

"What the fuck was that?" several millions yell as the idiot was torn apart, then spotting something in the sky

"That some kind of bird?" was asked, causing Vivi to perk up slightly, as well as hold Artemis close to avoid any crossfire

 **RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA**

The sound of machine gun fire had the edge of her lips curl upwards, but it was when the bird came into view it became an actual smile

"It's a falcon"

"A fucking huge one"

The bird paid the millions no notice as it swooped down and picked up the girls, dropping them off on the roof of a nearby building

"Oh Pell, you have no idea how glad I am to see you" Vivi smiles as the massive falcon changes back into one of the royal guards

"As I you, your father received your letter and is actually on his way quite soon to deal with Crocodile, I'm just here to scout and search for any hidden surprises" Pell explains

"Like Crocodile's Devil Fruit powers?" Artemis asks getting a look from Pell before turning to Vivi

"Don't worry about her she's on our side"

"As long as you believe that, now if you'll excuse me I need to deal with these ruffians" He then transforms again, making short work of the millions that had been harassing Vivi.

"The Tori Tori, model Falcon, quite impressive don't you think Artemis?" Vivi asks the girl who shrugs

"Devil fruits are Papa's thing, just like the void is mama's and mine is art. Do you think there's an Art Art fruit somewhere in the world?"

"I don't know, like you said your papa's the best person to ask that" Vivi answers then turns to look down at Pell "Thank you for the help, but I need to meet up with the others and fix things"

"Leaving so soon?" A voice purrs in her ear, causing Vivi to leap back when she sees Miss All Sunday right behind her

"Miss All Sunday" she curses, causing the older woman to raise an eyebrow before her grin widens

"Time to meet the Boss Vivi, it's rude to keep him waiting"

At this point Pell turns and sees the oddly dressed woman with Vivi and Artemis "And who might you be?"

All Sunday smiles "You're quite the enigma, having one of the Devil Fruits that enable flight as a service rather than an exploit. But still, do you think you can beat me?"

Pell frowns "That isn't an answer but I'm going to assume you're part of Baroque Works, in which case I will not allow you to harm the princess"

' _This may get messy'_ Artemis thinks, having seen just how vicious All Sunday can be, though that usually requires her to be very annoyed or in a rush.

 **Tres Fleur**

Arms sprouted from the falcon human's body, 2 pinning his wings together while the 3rd ensured his sword wasn't making an appearance in this fight. The resulting metaphorical wing clip meant Pell crash-landed on the roof rather than cutting down Sunday

"Didn't see that coming did you Birdie?" Sunday teases as she uncrosses her arms

"You ate a Devil fruit, it's the only explanation" Pell wheezes

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. I ate the Hana Hana no mi, which enables me to bloom body parts like flowers. You can't escape my reach even in the air, so it might be best to just let us go"

"Never, I won't let you kidnap Alabasta's princess without a fight" he yells before charging with his sword, aimed for her heart

"Silly man"

 **Seis Fleur**

Vivi gasps as Sunday's bloomed arm's lock Pell in place, 2 around his neck, 1 for each arm and another coming out of the ground to grab his ankles

"Power, speed, these mean nothing to me, once you are within my grasp you are done. I'm sure I said this before but we're in a little bit of a hurry, don't want the Boss to think the country has a rude princess Tweety Pie. So let's get this over with"

 **Seis Fleur: Clutch**

Vivi whimpers when she hears the crunch of Pells spine, the greatest warrior in Alabasta defeated by a woman who clearly wasn't even trying.

"Time to go princess, I won't be made wait any longer. Coming Goldenweek?"

"Of course Miss All Sunday" Artemis replies, hopping up and following the women towards Rain Dinner

TBC

LW: So, how are our heroes going to make it out of this one? Well see yah in 2 weeks

Miss All Sunday/Nico Robin – Eater of the Hana Hana no mi/Bloom Bloom fruit

Tres Fleur: Blooms 3 arms on the opponent's body,

Seis Fleur: Blooms 6 arms on or around her opponent, locking up their limbs and preventing attack of even movement really

Seis Fleur Clutch: Uses her bloomed arms to snap the spine of the enemies

Pell – Eater of the Tori Tori no mi: Model Falcon/ Bird Bird Fruit: Model Falcon


	34. Sand, Gators and a prince?

LW: Okay here we are once again, tiny bit later than normal sorry about that. I tired, but this was as much content as was going to be shoved into this chapter, hope you still enjoy it.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Sand, Gators and a prince?

"Nami can you calm the fuck down already, you might actually annoy this guy if you keep running your mouth like that" Kaos sighs deeply, the ginger hadn't stopped yelling at Luffy and Usopp since they couldn't find an escape root and decided to pass the time goofing off, and he could clearly see a twitch developing in Croc's left eye. It meant he was just as glad as the rest of them when the door to the chamber opened.

"Ah Miss All Sunday, glad you finally joined us" Crocodile smiles around his cigar as the woman enters, along with Vivi (her arms pinned behind her back) and Artemis

"We would have been quicker, but someone was being difficult" Miss All Sunday drawls

"Sorry Mr. 0, I wanted another cake" Artemis says with a half smile

"Miss Goldenweek, it's been too long" Crocodile chuckles "And no need to stand on ceremony, everyone here knows my real name, even you"

"Hello Crocodile" Artemis repeats

"That's better Artemis" the straw hats tense when hey see the girl twitch/flinch, when her name passed his lips, she never reacted to any of the others "…and Miss Wednesday, how good it is to see you again. Sunday release her, she hasn't done anything just yet and she's our guest for the moment. So what are you going to do now?"

Vivi growls and jumps from the stairs, landing just in front of him "End you" she hisses, drawing a slasher and swinging it, slicing through both his neck and the back of the chair in one go.

"Wow, that was so cool!"

"And scary"

"Princess has balls… when she wants to"

"That was too easy"

"If I may interrupt?" Crocodile's gruff voice asks, behind Vivi, the princess turns in time to see him reform from the dust… no the sand that had been lying on the floor of the basement

"Logia, freaking called it"

"He's a sand man"

Crocodile smiles grimly "Correct, I ate the Suna Suna no mi, and on an island like Alabasta I'm not a just a mere king or Warlord, I'm a God"

He then proceeds to manhandle Vivi into the chair she's just ruined, Sunday blooming hands to pin her shoulders and knees as well as discourge escape attempts while she tied the princess' hands and feet.

"There we go, wouldn't want you running off again now would we. Where are our plans at the moment my dear?"

"It's precisely noon, Operation Utopia has begun" Sunday states with a smile

"Good, then it is the beginning of the end. Shame you failed so miserably princess" Crocodile chuckles as he watches her struggle

"What did you do? What is Operation Utopia?" Vivi yells, her features twisted with hate

"If you must know, as we speak Mr 2 is ensuring no one will ever believe the kind again, as well as break the final support keeping this country from falling into total anarchy. While Nanohana burns down, the country will react exactly as expected and turn on it's ruler. The guards will fight back and so many will die. And do you know what makes this all the sweeter? That everyone fighting and dying has only one thing on their minds: _**Protect Alabasta**_ , and that love for their kingdom will tear it apart at its seams. You should be happy princess, this is the only goal Baroque Works was ever leading to, your work has finally bore fruit"

"How can you be so heartless?" Vivi hisses

"CROCODILE!" Luffy yells, rushing at the bars, trying to push his way out despite their mere touch weakening him "I'm. Still. Going. To. Kick. Your. Ass." He pants

"There's something wrong with that kid, didn't he listen to what I said about the kerioseki?" Smoker sighs, getting a dark chuckle from Kaos and a reflexive sigh from Zoro

"Oh there's plenty wrong with Luffy, but his stubbornness is something that hasn't been beaten yet"

"And that never say die attitude, whether due to his stupidity or bull headedness, is why he's our captain"

Crocodile rolls his eyes and dismisses the prisoners "Now as I was saying Vivi, I've put so much work into setting up this little rebellion: causing droughts, manipulating the rebels and the royal guards, destroying essential infrastructure. Do you have any idea why I did all of this, and why Alabasta in particular?" he asks, clearly expecting some kind of response

Vivi scoffs "As if I have a chance of being able to understand anything going about in your twisted mind" she sneered, the muttered ' _you understand papa pretty well, even if you fight_ ' from Artemis only noticed by Sunday and Kaos. With that she rocked on her chair, toppling it and her to the ground, where she begins wriggling away, much to Crocodile's amusement

"And what might I ask are you doing, besides being even more undignified than before?" he asks

"Taking my chances, if I can make it to Alubarna before the rebels I can still stop this, I can still foil your heinous plans. I will never give up, not as long as there is life in my body and air in my lungs" Vivi declares, shuffling harder as she does so

' _Aunt Vivi is just as stubborn as Luffy, no wonder he wants her on the crew'_

"He won't get away with this!" Luffy shouts, his anger still rising since reaching the island in the first place.

Crocodile chuckles, but otherwise ignores the rubber boy "There's no need for these dramatics Miss Wednesday, we were on our way to Alubarna ourselves and would be happy to take you. You can come with us, or you can save your friends" at that everyone perks up slightly, Vivi looking the warlord in the eye for the first time in a while, as he pulls a key from his coat and waves in her direction

"The key to the cell" Vivi whispers, to which Crocodile nods slightly before releasing his hold, as well as signalling to Sunday. Just before the key hits the ground in front of Vivi (frantically trying to free herself from her restraints) the floor opens up and the key clicks against the stone far below.

"You don't have much time princess, the rebels are already heading for Alubarna, if you stand any chance of intercepting them you'll need to act fast. You can either come with me, or save your friends, and is now a bad time to mention the only key to their cell just fell into my bananagator enclosure?" Crocodile asks, enjoying the hopeless look in Vivi's eyes, as well as the inner turmoil.

"Hey guys look over there, that banana has a gator growing out of it! OW" Luffy grunts as Nami slams his head into the ground, the idiot having only now noticed the animals swimming in the area surrounding the room. Attention was returned when they heard Vivi's meep "What happened Vivi?"

"A bananagator just ate the key"

Kaos groans "It's that damn mutt all over again"

"Well go get him to spit it our, we need that key more than he does" Luffy orders, getting face palms from half the group

Crocodile chuckles before snapping his fingers and the door in front of him swings open "Time to go we have much work to do today. Also just as a heads up this room will be destroyed in an hour, it has been useful while I was here but there's no more need for it after today. Soon the waters of Rainbase's lake will fill this room, killing anyone still inside. Time to make your choice my dear, your people or these pirates, though I doubt any of them have much of a future left. Are you a betting girl Vivi, because much like upstairs you need to take a chance, much like I did too, but thanks to a country of idiots like those rebels and that old skeleton in Yuba it was not much of a gamble"

"Toto"

"Wait you know that old guy too?"

"Why of course, toiling away day in and day out searching for an oasis that is long dead…"

"Actually we fixed that" Luffy interrupts, mostly to see Crocodile's eye's bulge in shock

"I guess I'll have to try harder next time, bury him along with it. Tell me boy, do you know how sandstorms can hit a town with pin point accuracy repeatedly?"

"That was you!" Vivi accuses, her fists clenched on the ground

"Didn't think we'd get proof you're a dick as well as everything else, but it's good to cover all your bases" Kaos deadpans with a shrug

"I will kill you!" Vivi screams, getting to her feet

Sunday chuckles "Good luck child, though the saying is 3rd times the charm" she says, just as the floor opens up, releasing the lake water into the chamber.

"Goodbye Straw Hats, I'd say it had been nice knowing you, but you were a pain in my ass" Crocodile gloats as the 3 leave, Vivi standing but her mind torn

"Oh no you don't, face me like a man you bastard"

 **Gum Gum Ricochet**

Luffy's fist shot through the bars, bouncing off the floor of the slowly filling room and slamming Crocodile straight in the face, throwing the Warlord up against the wall

"Holy shit"

"Go Luffy!"

"Impossible"

"You've just cut our remaining time in half you idiot"

"I don't think that's how that works Nami"

Kaos and Artemis grin madly, Robin's mouth twitches into a smirk for half a second and Vivi just stands there frozen in shock, as Crocodile pulls himself to his feet, spitting blood before sneering

"You got a lucky shot there Straw Hat, but at least you can die knowing you managed to strike me" he said then opening another trap door and releasing one of his bananagators "As you probably guess my dear Vivi I did plan to kill you long before you made it to the capital, but why should I wait that long when I can just kill you now and feed my pets. So long you sky haired brat" he chuckles to himself, walking around the gator with Sunday

"You can do it Vivi" Luffy cheers

"Are you crazy, that thing is massive and Vivi's not some kind of monster like you or those 2 idiots over there" Nami yells, Kaos and Zoro shrugging at the description

"She only needs to beat one to get the key out and free us all, then if the others show up Me, Kaos and Zoro can deal with them as we escape" Luffy explains, almost sounding like a good plan… except

"Look out the window" Usopp shouts "The others are getting ready to eat us too!"

"That's a lot more organised than I expected" Kaya thought aloud, seeing the massive beasts basically queuing underwater

"More organised than Luffy too" Zoro adds

Vivi smiles for a second but quickly got back into the seriousness of the situation when she was forced to dodge the gator's lunge, the stairs suffering instead of her at their jaws, though the tail swipe that followed she was less lucky with, getting tossed across the room from the attack.

"Vivi! Are you alright?" Luffy asks, Vivi shakily pulling herself up, blood dripping from a cut to her face, only to get a face full of bananagator staring down at her

' _So this is how it ends, I guess I won't have to see the Hell Crocodile has in store for my country'_

 _Puru puru puru_

"Wait there's a phone down here?" was a thought mirrored by both Luffy and the gator, or at least it must have if it actually stopped trying to kill Vivi to look for the Den Den Mushi. Turned out it was Sunday's, the trio having not gotten very far as they were acting like it was just a simple stroll

"Who would be calling at a time like this?" she wonders as she answers the snail

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" the Den Den asks

"We can hear you fine, _geez how dim were some of the millions we hired_?" Sunday pinches the bridge of her nose while Artemis smiles behind her at the familiar voice as they were basically listening to a separate conversation

"Is this thing on?"

"Yes it's working fine they should be able to hear you"

"Thanks, 2nd time using the snail, my old man doesn't have one so there's nobody I ever need to borrow it from Sparkles to talk to"

Crocodile sighs "We can hear you fine, state your business and get on with it we're very busy"

The snail pouts, then frowns "Oh I know I've heard that voice before" causing Crocodile to tense "Hello there, you reached the crap café"

The war lord grits his teeth "I remember you, from Little Garden. How many Straw Hats are on this damn crew, we have all but the pet and the traitors from Mr.2's descriptions, did he miss someone?" he says to himself, though Sunday notes Artemis tight grip on the back of her coat, running her fingers through her hair to try calm the girl

Meanwhile the others were trying to keep Luffy quiet so he didn't do something stupid like reveal Sanji's identity, the level to which they were would have amused Smoker very slightly at a less potentially fatal time.

"I'm glad you remembered, you like codenames, you can call me Mr. Prince" the voice on the other end of the line replies (Got to love 20 years of lore for little moments like this)

"Fine Mr. Prince, mind telling me something useful like where you are and why you're calling?" Crocodile asks

"If I did that you'd probably send your men to come kill me or else come yourself. Not that I think you could, but I'm not taking that chance, I prefer not to give away information like you just did Mr 0" The snail's smile causes a tic to form on Croc's temple

"Quick save us Mr. Prince, if you don't hurry we're going to be gator food!"

"Come on get the lead out we need to get out of this cage right now!"

The Den Den chuckles "That's my crew all right, thanks for collecting them for me Luffy and Zoro tend to get lost easily and often" Artemis suppressed a laugh while Zoro rolls her eyes, he doesn't get lost everything just moves.

Things were beginning to look up when a crash was heard on the other end

"Not so tough no are you? Hey boss we got him, he's not going anywhere in the condition we have him"

' _Oh no, Sanji'_ Vivi thinks, biting her lip

"where are you?" Sunday asks, hoping for a quick extraction

"In front of the building with the gator on top in Rainbase, Rain Dinners" was the reply

"Shit"

"If that idiot isn't dead he's going to wish he was" Zoro grumbles, while Luffy was working himself into a frenzy, Kaos was sitting with his head in his hands and the other 3 were panicking once more.

"Very good, we'll be there soon" Crocodile ends the call, the click audible even from their distance before the snail goes back to sleep

"Do you think this is wise, none of the Millions know you're the Boss?" Sunday asks as she puts away her Den Den

Crocodile shrugs "Aside from the number agents and those Straw Hats nobody does, to the rest of the country I'm just a local hero and casino owner. They're causing a commotion outside my building, there's nothing wrong with me going to see what's happened" he explains before walking again, this time with more purpose, the 2 girls following

 **Crash**

"Vivi! What are you doing?" Luffy asks, seeing the bluenette pulling herself onto the stair, which the bananagator was still wrecking in a failed attempt to get her

"We still have time, I'm going to go help you know who" she calls back

"You're right, he can't be dead"

"Nobody on this crew would kick the bucket that easily" Kaya and Usopp assure themselves and the others, the sniper holding their medic close

"Plus there's Chopper, Alvida, Victor and Valentina, if you can find them we'll be out of here in no time" Nami adds, feeling the slightest hint of optimism

Vivi smiles and nods, until she was basically tackled by a mound of sand, getting in a solid smack to her throat as it knocked her back onto the ground

"I'm getting tired of your continued attempts at escape" Crocodile grunts "You want to stay and help your friends, well now you get to die with them. I'll be back with Mr Prince soon enough, I would hate to keep any of you waiting" he gloats before disappearing

"Come on Vivi, wake up before the banana sees you"

' _They've been there for me this far, now it's my turn to help'_ Vivi thinks as she slowly stands, wiping blood off her face and staring down the gator "You will now get in my way again!" The gator jumps at her, then recoils from Vivi managing to slice at it's unarmoured tongue then jumping first onto it's back, then the stairs "I got this guys, just hold on a little longer"

"Well make it quick, we're getting closed to fucked right about now" Kaos complains, mostly because the windows had just shattered, severely increasing the amount of water being pumped into the room

"Right, double time" Vivi nods, running as fast as she could toward the front of Raindinners. The only problem being….

"The bridge is out"

' _What!'_ Vivi freezes _'If the bridge is destroyed, then I'm stuck in here'_

"I didn't do it to trap you" a man says nearby, causing Vivi to turn, and smile "I did it so we wouldn't be interrupted by any more Baroque Work thugs. You can thank Victor when we get out, he knew exactly where to hit the bridge so it would fall in one hit, finally understand the Doctor metaphor Kaos was using, knowing how to make something helps when you want to break it too" Sanji smiles and stubs out his cigarette on the slot machine he was sitting at "So Vivi, mind leading us to where our friends are?"

"Us?" Vivi repeats before another Straw Hat bounces into her field of view, her bosom actually filling Vivi's

"We're here to save our idiots, also did you know Crocodile could turn into sand?" Alvida asks, when Vivi's response came out as muffled noise she took a step back and Vivi breathed a sigh of relief, after filling them with precious oxygen.

"I do now, would have been useful to know before attempting to decapitate someone" she grumbles, then turns on her heels and begins running back into the depths of the casino "Come on our friends don't have much time" she yells over her shoulder, the 2 others running after her.

TBC

LW: Well Sanji and co should probably get to work quick as the others don't have long left. Also nice to see Vivi get to be badass… or at least try to, how was she supposed to know Croc was sand?

Crocodile: Eater of the Suna Suna no mi/Sand Sand Fruit.

2nd Logia of the series, can turn his body into sand and absorb moisture from anything he touches.


	35. Race to Alubarna: Luffy vs Crocodile

LW: Time to see Luffy's 2nd attempt to fight a Logia, hopefully it goes better than his fight with Smoker in Loguetown.

It's not is it? 0_0

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Race to Alubarna: Luffy Vs Crocodile

"So what's stopping Crocodile from turning around and killing us?" Vivi asks as she leads Sanji and Alvida back through the casino

"Chopper's running around Rain base, the little guy is tough when he wants to be, beat the ever loving shit out of the millions while proclaiming to be me, or Mr Prince I suppose" Sanji explains, though Vivi pales

"So you let Crocodile go after him?" Vivi yelps

Alvida sighs and squeezes her shoulder "Chopper just needs to keep Croc's attention, the V's will be around to help in that regard and it's not like we asked him to fight the guy, just take his eyes off you and our missing crewmates" she adds, glad to see the princess relax slightly just before reaching the stairs

Meanwhile

"Fuck, how strong is this cage?" Nami cries as the bananagator's teeth are shattered when it tried to get at it's captive meat

"So, can we just assume kieroseki is some kind of magic diamond?" Kaos asks, sitting beside Smoker who actually seemed uninterested about being in a life or death situation

"Why are you just sitting there, you should be trying to help us out?" Usopp yells at both guys, though neither react to him directly Smoker does speak

"What do you know about Crocodile's plans?"

"Very little, why?"

Smoker frowns "The woman, his 2nd in command, she's wanted by the World Government for quite a lot, 70 mill as far as I know"

Luffy nods "Kaos mentioned it back at Cactus island, Nico Robin, 79 million berri, the Devil's child. He also said if she wanted to hide all that she should wear a mask either as Robin or Sunday"

"Maybe she expects people to be too busy staring at her cleavage to remember her face" Zoro suggests mostly as a joke, getting a light kick (more a prod) to the back of the head by Kaos, and a more substantial smack from Nami

Smoker sighs "My point is that with those 2 working together this could become something the entire world gets dragged into rather than a simple internal island dispute/civil war" he finishes, pointedly ignoring Kaos coughed _**'Buster Call'**_ , though his lips turned down into the start of a scowl, which clearly amused the younger man.

"I don't care" Luffy states plainly "I don't need any more reasons than I already do, I'm going to kick that bastard's ass just like I promised I would"

' _Kid's stupid as a sack of rocks, but he's determined I'll give him that'_ Smoker thinks, probably the closest Luffy will ever get to a compliment from the marine (We'll just have to wait and see, at least we can say it's the best for now)

 **BANG**

 **BANG**

"What the Fuck?!" Was the collective exclamation from the prisoners as the bananagator was thrown into the air, landing on it's back with another slam

"Looks like Vivi's back" Kaos says, standing up for the 1st time since Sunday arrived

"And with reinforcements" Vivi answers, smiling from the destroyed stairway as Sanji stood before them and Alvida was basically posing like a badass on top of the downed gator (DF user, water bad)

"Been waiting long?" She asks, hefting her mace onto her shoulder and grinning

"Nami my dear, do you love me now?" Sanji asks as he does his ' _noodle dance_ ', causing most of the crew to sigh and Smoker to sweatdrop, this crew was insane but seriously?

"Damn lovesick idiot" Zoro grumbles

"Get us out of here and I'll show you how much I love you" Nami replies between gritted teeth, there was a time and a place for everything, now was not the time for chivalrous pervert.

"Hey guys, the other gators are tired of waiting" Kaya yells as the room is now flooded with banana gators as well as water.

"The 3rd from the left has the key" Smoker shouts to the free Straw Hats, looking confused but considering Smoker most likely wanted out as badly as their friends follow the order, Alvida's mace to the gut causing the reptile to spit out a white ball which bounced across the room

"Not a key that's for sure" Sanji sighs

"You sure you're hearing is any good Smokie?" Alvida asks, the water causing her to lean on her mace for stability

 **Wax Wax Ball: Release**

The ball cracks open like an egg, a shrivelled up husk stepping out of it

"Hey it's that wax guy from the dinosaur island, what's he doing here?" Luffy thinks aloud, as the entire group frown

"Mr. 3" Vivi growls

After drinking his fill Mr. 3 stands up happy as could be "Sweet freedom, Crocodile though he could kill me, but he didn't try hard enough" it as then he noticed his surroundings "Not you again!" he shrieks, then looks confused as he finds the key sitting in the remains of his wax ball _'Hmm?'_

"Toss it here"

"Give us the key"

"Don't make me hurt you"

' _A room quickly filling with water, trapped straw hats, and this key? Interesting'_ Mr. 3 grins "Well my dear Straw Hats I guess it's time for me to go…" he grunts as he walks into Sanji

"Hey, I'll be taking that key now" the cook demands

3 frowns, looking from Sanji to the key and back a couple times "You want this key? Go get it!" he yells, tossing the key into the water, somewhere in the middle of the gator mass "I don't know who you are but if you're with the Straw Hats you're clearly an enemy of mine"

 **Homunculus**

 **Bonebreaker**

Mr. 3 shrieks as a spiked finger pierces his left knee and Alvida crushes his right foot, then wraps her hand around his throat so he was looking her in the eye "I'm going to enjoy breaking every bone in your body you wax spewing little shit" she growls, the look in her eyes familiar to anyone who tragically passed in Whiskey Peak.

"Sanji, save the key!" Luffy yells, the blond nods and runs towards the hungry gators

"Hold it!" Kaos shouts "There's an easier way" he adds, and just as he hoped that was enough to interest the cook as well as the rest of the crew "If Alvida can hold off on murdering Waxy over there, I believe he could be of use to us… as in using his fruit to make us a key"

Alvida grins, which sends a shiver down Smoker's spine _'You only met Vice Admiral Medusa once, how can her smile still get this reaction out of me?'_

"You heard him Waxy, make them a key and I might just spare you" she growls in his ear, the numbered agent just barely managing to keep bladder control before Sanji drags him over to the door

"Good, now we can leave" Nami cheers as Mr. 3 frees them, just before the man gets kicked into the wall by Sanji, probably more likely to survive that than whatever Alvida had planned for him

"One problem, the room is still full of banana…" Vivi doesn't even get to finish her sentence when she's interrupted by

"Done!" A surprisingly chipper Kaos announces as himself Zoro and Luffy deal with the remaining gators almost effortlessly

"Never mind let's go then!" Usoop says with a grin, taking Kaya's hand in his own he leads the way to the door, the blond behind him just as happy to be free.

That happiness lasted about 5 seconds, after which the passageway collapsed as well as most of the room

' _This is going to suck'_ Luffy and Kaos groan as the wave of water barrels towards the group, sweeping them out into the lake.

What feels like minutes but was much less

Sanji grunts as he surfaces, pulling himself as well as both Luffy and Alivda to shore "Damn it, you 2 alive? I'm really not understanding the appeal of Devil Fruit powers right now" the cook grumbles to himself

"Come on Usopp, don't die on me now" Kaya whimpers, checking on her currently unconscious friend

"For such a big guy I think his coat is most of this weight" Nami complains as her and Vivi ended up pulling Kaos onto dry land, the purplette moans weakly and rolls onto his back

The last one to surface was Zoro, along with…

"You stupid marino in case you forgot that's our enemy!" Sanji reprimands, but is ignored by the swordsman

"I didn't want to save him, but I wasn't going to just let the man die" Zoro retorts in defence "I'd have no problems cutting him down in a fight, but this leaving him to drown would have been just plain wrong"

"So everyone's alive right?" the non devil fruit users jump at the voice behind them, turning to see Artemis slowly walk over to Kaos and sit by his head "You going to get up now Papa?" she asks, getting a weak chuckle, water in her face and a cough that turned into a chuckle

"Just need a minute, damn slave driver"

"If she was a real slave driver you wouldn't get that minute"

Vivi smiles despite the circumstances "Victor, Valentina, Chopper, glad to see you all survived"

"You too it would seem" the bomb man laughs

"Roronoa!" Zoro reflectively raises Wado, blocking Smoker's jute handily "Why did you save me?"

The swordsman shrugged "Captains orders, plus it didn't feel right" he confessed, noticing the marine captain's frown deepen

At this point Luffy and Usopp jump up mostly alright, Alvida sits up and with minor encouragement Kaos stands up and wrings out his cloak over Nami and Artemis (Just because he's kind of a dick sometimes)

"I should arrest you, but you've just saved my life" Smoker sighs deeply, returning his weapon to his back "On that note, just this once I'm letting you go. So run you dumbass" he orders, Luffy blinks in confusion before flashing him a Monkey Smile

"I knew you were one of the good ones Smokie, don't let anyone tell you different" Luffy calls back as the crew hightail it out of there, leaving only Smoker when the marines finally figure out what the hell is going on, the man walking straight over to the only compentant people in the city.

"Captain!" Tashigi greets as Smoker catches up to them

"Tashigi, Lucina, have every man we have converge on the capital right now" he puffs, the swordswoman salute while the taller bluenette looks confused

"But Sir, the Straw Hats are…" she argues

"…a pittance compared to a crime syndicate destabilising a country and trying to overthrow it's World Government appointed leader" Smoker interrupts tensely

Lucina blinks "The rebels are Revolutionaries?"

Smoker shakes his head "No, they're unwitting pawns and canon fodder for the true enemy; Baroque Works, run by the Warlord Crocodile himself. Until further notice nothing is to be done about Straw Hat and his crew, our focus is on Baroque works and Sir crocodile. Given Straw Hat admitted to only being in Alabasta to kick Crocodile's ass there is a chance one of problems could take out the other, but I'd much prefer they both ended up in marine custody. Understood?"

Lucina nods and grits her teeth "It's your hunt Smoker" she says lowly, annoyed she'd have to hold off removing that smug bastard's head for a little longer "One more thing, I got in touch with Hina, her ship ran into some bad weather so was a little delayed while they adjusted course. Hopefully she'll reach us in time to actually be helpful" she adds

"Good, that puts people I trust to hold the right end of a sword at 3" he mumbles to himself, then takes off in the direction of Alubarna

 _Back with the pirates_

"Good work finding this crab Chopper" Valentina praises the reindeer who squirms happily as the crew hop onto the moving crab Chopper had managed to find so they could cut their travel time down significantly, which considering they were on a timer was very good for everyone.

"And this one isn't a pervert like the camel" Kaos teases, then frowns as he still couldn't tell desert sand from Crocodile sand

"Ahh!" Vivi screams as she's yanked off Scissors by Croc's hook

"Vivi!" Luffy yells, wrapping his arms around her and kicking the sand, sure he probably couldn't hurt crocodile in this form but what he could do was break the connection between his body and the hook long enough to free the princess, though he hadn't expected the hook to crumble into sand too "We can't just keep running in a desert, it's his element" Luffy states seriously before dropping Vivi in Alvida's lap

"Luffy, don't" Kaos warns, seeing that expression before, but the rubber captain had already jumped off the back of the crab in the direction Crocodile's hook had come from.

"We need to stop this crab!" Usopp shouts, about to force Chopper to pull the breaks, but was stopped by Zoro

"Idiot, he's distracting Crocodile so we can get Vivi to the Capital, if we stop the gesture is worthless" the swordsman explains/scolds "Hurry up Chopper" he orders to which The Doctor nods

"Luffy, we'll meet you in Alubarna, don't take too long" Vivi yells, trying not to let the worry show in her voice

 _A little later_

Kaos sits at the back o the crab, clenched fists on his knees, until a much smaller hand finds his wrist

"Relax Papa, Luffy will be fine" Artemis states flatly, and despite that Kaos laughs, being reminded of himself trying to talk Ace out of his 'protective older brother' stress outs. Feeling the artist sit back to back with him, the tension leaks out and his hands open, now resting on his crossed legs and he could feel it, Luffy's hyperactive energy even through the sand, both the real and Crocodile.

Everything was fine, right until that energy faltered, stuttering for a moment before returning, but it was the 2nd flicker where he lost it, the sandstorm too strong and Crocodile's prescience in the sand for him to detect Luffy even a little and with that went any sense of calm in the purplette

It was less the strength as that speed which caught everyone off guard, things were fine besides the general unease and then they were nearly floored by a suffocating pressure, even causing the giant crab to stumble but keep walking, the simple creature more panicked than crushed by the pressure

' _He can't be, he just can't. He's too stubborn to die and he promised Vivi he'd see this through to the end'_ Kaos thinks as every muscle in his body tenses, wanting nothing more than to rip Crocodile's still beating heart out of his chest and crush it. His thoughts continued to spiral for a couple minutes before an air of calm filled his bones and despite how obviously unnatural it was it still managed to overshadow his unease and make him sit properly and relax, and when he did he was smiling, there it was, weaker than it usually was but it was clearly Luffy and if he wasn't mistaken Robin too.

"Okay, what the fuck was that?!" Nami practically screams, having noticed immediately both when Artemis put on and removed the green paint symbol on their 1st mate's back

"Luffy's alive" Kaos says with a slight slur, not fully back yet

"Great, but that doesn't explain why it feels like my brain was being squeezed" Sanji grumbles

Kaos sighs "Because I lost him, for a moment but it was enough I began to panic and lost all concentration as well as the ability to detect him at all"

"You can track people?" Vivi asks, surprised that hadn't come up before

"I can track Devil Fruit users, or at least know when they're nearby"

"That's how you knew we were Paramecia" Victor realised

"And Mr 3" Artemis adds, remembering what Kaos said _'I could feel the heat of your wax from half way across the island…'_

"Then you can tell us where Crocodile is" Kaya suggests, but the thinning of the researcher/strategist's lips told him that wasn't that simple

"Logias are difficult, due to the way it works with their element, as well as their intangibility it spreads out the feeling, like Smoker in Loguetown, or the fact I've been tasting sand since we stepped into Rainbase. I can't pinpoint him, but I don't need to, to know he's on the way to Alubarna, same as us" he explains, running his fingers through his hair

 _Meanwhile/earlier/with Luffy_

"Well looks like Vivi slipped through your fingers there Crocodile" Sunday notes, with her usual half smile, to which the warlord shrugs in response

"No matter, our agents are already gathering at Alubarna and will take out the princess the moment they find her" he replies

"CROCODILE!" Luffy yells as he drops down in front of the 2

"So you're alive Straw Hat. So tell me, why continue all this foolishness?" Crocodile asks

"It's not foolishness, it's not foolish to help your friends and Vivi cares about this country and is mad at all the destruction you have caused to it. Princess may be a slightly naïve optimist but that doesn't mean I'm not going help her. I just wish she didn't think this war could be settled without anyone dying"

Croc laughed "Nobody dying? And they say you're the dim one. I presume that isn't a viewpoint you share with Vivi?"

"Nope" Luffy replies automatically "But that doesn't stop me from kicking your ass so we can end this war without Vivi killing herself trying to do the impossible"

Sunday chuckles and turns to leave, stopping when Crocodile calls to her "And where do you think you're going Nico Robin?"

"This isn't my fight, and you promised to never use my name while I worked for you. I'll go on ahead while you deal with the little monkey" she answers walking off into the desert

"Damn unpredictable woman, you'd think threats would keep her in line but it just makes her more fucking mouthy" Crocodile grumbles before fishing a blade from his coat and throwing it in Luffy's direction, the rubber boy seeing the hilt contained an hourglass style timer "I have 3 minutes to spare, but I doubt you'll last even that long. Take your shot kid"

"With pleasure"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

The punch is dodged by crocodile who smirks before separating into sand, impossible to follow in the desert, reforming about a foot in front of Luffy who bends backward in order to avoid a hook through the face, setting up the Warlord for a…

 **Gum Gum Stamp**

The kick tears through Crocodile's body with ease, but as he's a logia it doesn't exactly do… anything, He reformed in seconds with the same smug look on his face as before

"This is a pointless fight boy, even you should know that, just give up and we can end this tedium quickly"

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

Luffy's response came in the form of rapid fire punches, each attack punching a large hole through the Sandman's body which was quickly repaired almost immediately after his body left the cavity

 **Gum Gum Bazooka**

 **Gum Gum BattleAxe**

Even with the 2 attacks tearing through his entire chest cavity and then cleaving him in 2, Crocodile still returns, only looking very mildly annoyed at the time wasting Luffy was doing

"I grow tired of your games, time to end this…"

 **Desert Spada**

The sand blade shoots through the desert and is just barely dodged by Luffy, actually a little impressed by the gorge Croc's attack caused.

"You have good reflexes kid I'll give you that, let's see if you can dodge this!"

 **Desert Girasole**

Luffy yelps as the ground around him collapses dropping him into some kind of sand whirlpool kind of structure. Panicking he tries to run out of the sinking sand, but he remains rather low in the pit

"Of all the techniques my devil fruit grants me, this is the most helpful I've found for making people _disappear_ , there's no point fighting it, the sand will consume you and then I will go after and kill all of your friends" Crocodile gloats from the attack's edge

"No, I'm not going to be beaten by this sand trap"

 **Gum Gum Bazooka**

 **Gum Gum Net**

The bazooka, aimed at the ground did a good job of getting him out of the trap, his attempt to catch Crocodile, not so much

"You are a simple minded fool and predictable"

 **Crescent Cutlass**

Crocodile's attack strike's Luffy in the arm, pulling the moisture from him and causing his right arm to shrivel up like a mummy "Be glad all I struck was your arm boy, I could do this all day, systematically drying you out until you're a pile of dust"

"No, it's not going to end like this" Luffy yells, running over to the barrel he got from Toto and gulping it down, restoring his frail limb

"You're only delaying the inevitable" Crocodile growls

"You think I'm predictable? Well how about something new!"

 **Gum Gum Munch Munch**

Luffy's head/mouth extends in a manner similar to a certain former king/current scumbag, biting off Croc's upper torso as he sailed through the air. Unfortunately Croc was able to force his way out of Luffy's mouth, and boy was he pissssssssssssssssssssssssssed!

"ENOUGH! Your 3 minutes are up, so now you will have to die"

 **Sables**

From his hand the sand swirls, absorbing sand from the desert and growing larger until a proper sized sand storm was formed

"The prevailing winds in this land blow north to south, if I allow this little storm its freedom and it were to catch one of those winds it will grow exponentially until it was capable of destroying everything in its path. And do you know what would be destroyed first?"

"No. So tell me!"

Croc grins "Yuba"

Luffy's eyes bulge and his teeth clench "You bastard! Why are you doing this?" He asks as he runs up to the Warlord who just stood there almost contently

"Because I can, and very soon my sandstorm will wipe Yuba off the map"

Luffy would probably have reacted to that… were he not trying to process the fact he'd just got a hook shoved in his gut

"Did you really think you stood a chance against me?" he asks, not even really looking at the boy skewered on his hook "You aren't the first rookie to try fight me and as much as it annoys me you won't be the last." Crocodile says in a bored tone, until Luffy grabs his arm and squeezes 'What? How are you still alive?' He grimaces then tosses the broken teen into the still spinning vortex, if the hole in his chest doesn't kill him suffocating under the sand or drowning in the underground waterways will, either way he'll finally be out of his way.

 _Back with the others_

"Well, didn't think Sanji being a girl crazy pervert would actually be helpful" Kaos says with a slight amused tone, his smile large enough to show his fangs but little else, Artemis nodding as she sat on his lap, back pressed against his chest "Just wish it didn't mean I have to retract my _'at least it's not a pervert like Eyelash'_ comment" he mutters under his breath

"And Kaya is a remarkable dancer for such a sickly girl" the artist adds, watching the women of the group entice their current transport Scissors the moving crab to scuttle across the river, lucky this crew had a habit of attracting perverts as the grinning animal really liked the dancer girl outfits. Nami was the first to strip off her desert gear in favour of the dancer disguises their cook had gotten them, and seeing the love struck reaction he gave the navigator, Alvida, Valentina, Vivi and finally Kaya followed suit, even trying their hand at dancing to add to the appeal.

For a change it wasn't just Sanji (and pervert camel) who couldn't take their eyes off the dancing girls, Victor smiled as he watches his partner practically float around the crab's back (Devil fruit related or just her normal grace?) while Usopp's eyes never left his blond best friend's form

"Seems everyone's got a girl to watch, well except Sanji he's watching everything that jiggles" Zoro jokes as he sits beside the duo

"True, though that means you're focusing on something other than your swords, am I right?" Kaos flashes a grin "I mean I have Artemis to keep safe, so that just leaves you"

"Luffy wants us to keep the princess alive, so yeah I've got her in my sights. We're not all perverts like swirly brow over there" he responds, both noticing Vivi looking carefree even if it was just for a few minutes

That carefree moment ended when the crab sank, seems even sexy girls can't support a crab on water, meaning they had to swim the rest of the way, well until they ran into a giant catfish like creature, which was another thing on the list of dangerous things in Alabasta Vivi forgot to tell them about, as in the fact they like eating people! There was one moment of good luck though, as they were reunited with the Kung Fu Dugongs who promptly beat the ever loving crap out of the catfish, then helped the Straw Hats up so they could use it as a raft

"That was nice of them" Kaya says as the crew regain as much of their energy as they could with this momentary reprieve

"They said they were just looking out for their fellow pupils" Chopper explains/translates

"Wait, do they think Luffy is our master?" Usopp asks in confusion

"Either him or me, and given he's our captain, it's probably the best comparison they have" Kaos answers, lying on his back

"Don't care, just glad we don't have to swim anymore" Nami says with a sigh, the others agree, mostly because all the DF users basically impersonated limpets for the entire short swim due to the whole _'water saps them of their strength'_ thing, and it wasn't a pleasant experience for anyone involved.

 _On land_

"Thanks for the lift, bye" Chopper calls as the group leave the dugongs to their own things "Now what?"

"Now we have some small problems, mostly the fact I don't know how long it'll take to get to Alubarna from here, even if we were to ride Eyelash" Vivi admits with an undertone of irritation

"And considering the pervert carries 2 girls at the most, that leaves most of us without transport, half of which didn't have a chance in the first place" Zoro adds, the guys still glaring at the camel.

"What's that?" Alvida asks, pointing to what appeared to be a dust cloud flowing towards their location

"Is it Baroque Works?" Nami asks

"Is it another sand storm?" Valentina counters

 _ **Quack**_

Vivi flashes a momentary D grin, before laughing "It's something much better than that, it's Carue and the Super Sonic Duck Squad!"

"The who/what now?" the Straw Hats ask in confusion as a familiar duck appears, followed by an entire flock of them

 _Back with Luffy_

Sunday looks down with something akin to curiosity and pity as she uses her fruit to lift the heavily injured boy from the sand trap, the extended summoning arms dropping him on the ground beside her.

"Thank you" Luffy wheezes, still clutching his perforated torso as he lays on mostly stable ground one more

"Why do you fight?" Sunday asks, her expression serious but mostly blank "The D's I mean?" she elaborates, mostly because she was unsure as to whether Luffy's confused face was because he didn't understand the question, was a little out of it due to blood loss or was just that dim ' _Should have captured and '_ _ **interrogated**_ _' the other one, least then I'd get an answer_ ' she thinks with a sigh "Apparently you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, which is a shame" she says, mostly to herself given Luffy's condition as she catches his hat which another of her bloomed arms retrieved from the sand

"I found you" Robin turns her head and sees Pell slowly walk towards her, his expression clearly one that promises vengeance "Where is Vivi?"

"Well look who's up and awake, that was pretty quick, but I expected nothing less from Alabasta's greatest warrior" Sunday grins as she tosses the straw hat onto Luffy's chest

"I won't be beaten again woman, I know your fruit's power and won't be tricked again" the bird man states, raising his sword

Sunday rolls her eyes and waves him off, before walking away herself "Don't overstress your injuries the princess would cry if you died. Why don't you do something useful and save the boy before he dies" she says as she walks over to her transport, a smaller bananagator "After all if it wasn't for him who knows what could have happened to your precious Vivi" she sits on the beast and turns once more to the royal guard "If she's lucky Luffy's crew and Vivi should be almost at Alubarna by now. Thought you deserved an answer to your question as thanks for saving the kid's life" she winks at him before her gator speeds off, leaving nothing but a smoke trail of sand behind seconds later.

'Damn it, what can I do, who can protect Vivi now?' Pell's inner thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his sleeve, which despite his efforts wouldn't let go "What the hell?"

"BRING ME MEAT!"

TBC

LW: Well, looks like we're on the brink of a war, let's hope everyone can hold on until the next chapter…. Please?

 _ **Info dump**_

 _Crocodile_

Desert Spada – His hand shifts into a blade of loose, fast moving sand, which he uses to cleave through anything in front of him

Desert Girasole – Like Spada, his hand shifts into sand, except this time he slams it into the ground, forming a sink hole

Crescent Cutlass – Sand blade which he uses to remove the moisture out of anything it touches, even being able to direct/localise it to specific body parts (such as Luffy's arm)

Sables – OP move in a desert island like Alabasta. Basically it allows him to summon a sandstorm.

 **Kao's sensory ability** : It is based on a power in One Piece and I'm sure anyone who's read that far into the series knows what it is, 100% certain I'm using it wrong but it does give you a glimpse into which version of that power he'll excel at.

 **The pressure** : Also based on a canon OP power, though in this case it behaves more like when in BLEACH one of the powerhouses flare their spiritual pressure and the weaker characters feel like their being crushed simply standing in their presence. Easiest example is when Yamamoto was about to fight Shunsui and Ukitake, he let his power off it's reins and Nanao could barely remain conscious.


	36. Battle of Alabasta, part 1

LW: So, here we are, doing it right this time. Enjoy

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Straw Hats Vs Baroque Works, for real this time!

Aka Battle of Alabasta, Part 1

"Okay, so we have ducks, and they're actually faster than I expected, but what are we going to do once we get to Alubarna? I doubt the rebel leader is in a mood to talk" Nami asks as the crew ride on Carue's backup duck squad

"Finding somewhere to scout would be a good idea, we're still ahead of the rebels, if only because we can't hear the pitched battle you'd expect for something like this" Usopp suggests, getting nods from the others

Vivi points ahead of them "There's a rocky bluff just over there, we'll stop and try figure out where everything is when we get there, that good enough for everyone?"

"Yep"

"Good, the other option was flying blind, something we've been doing too much of on this journey" the princess grumbles to herself mostly, but Zoro being the closest did hear and snorts, they've been flying blind since they entered the Grand Line, maybe earlier if he was being honest with himself, though the concept wasn't exactly new do him given his poor sense of direction after all.

 _Outcrop_

"Oh shit, it's the 1's and 4's" Vivi gasps, passing the binoculars back to Kaos

"The 1's could be a problem but the 4's should be no big deal, after all we beat Mr. 3" Usopp boasts

 _ **Quack, Quack, Quack**_

"She says **WE** didn't beat Mr. 3, Luffy did, plus we only beat him and saved the others because his partner betrayed him" Chopper translates, the long nose droops when the others nod along with her, Artemis most of all

"So any preferences?" Zoro asks, grinning at the chance of a fight

"Dibs on Miss All Sunday" Kaos declares, reminding the crew that even if they don't see her they'll have to deal with Crocodile's partner as well as him eventually.

"Oh no you don't! You harm one hair on her beautiful head I'll…" Sanji begins to rant but Kaos clearly isn't in the mood, so puts his hand on the back of the cook's head and slams him face first into the ground

"Shut up, we don't have time for your perverted chivalry, go find that ballerina when we get into the city" he orders, Sanji grumbles but nods, Kaos was acting captain until Luffy comes back after all, plus Mr. 2 did seem like the kind to have a fighting style involving his legs.

"Well Valentina, want to try get that promotion?" Victor jokes to his partner, who smirks evilly

"It's on! I'm going to beat that hag into the Red Line!" the kilo girl declares

Vivi sweat drops "That's nice, but we still need a way to get into the capital as well as get the 1s and 4s to split up"

Nami smirks as she looks from the former agents to the rest of the crew and back, Carue looking confused when she focuses on her "Don't worry Vivi, I have an idea"

 _A little later_

"Hmm, seems the reports about any of the Straw hats having intelligence were exaggerating Mr. 1" the bluenette beside him comments "Charging right at us is beyond stupid"

Mr 1 frowns at his partner "Things are rarely as they appear Miss Doublefinger, you'd do well to remember that" he says flatly, the duck riding pirates getting closer, from what little could be seen it appeared Vivi was leading the charge.

" 'sNowhereToRu…urk" Miss Merry Christmas groans as Vivi hops off her duck, their long legs slam the round woman face first into the ground, followed by using her as a springboard to jump over the others, the remaining ducks trampling her fully into the ground.

"It's a trick!" Mr. 1 yells, slashing at the fake princess with his blades, tearing through the cloth

"Hey Lady Deathstrike!" he turns and looks up to see Kaos grinning as he dangles from the wall "You missed. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop" he cackles as he hops up and runs along the roofs

"Mirror Master Kaos" 1 mutters before turning to the other 3 agents "Split up, the princess has to have been mixed in with the other pirates" They nod and begin to move, only for an explosion to go off between the 1's and 4's.

"Mr. 4! Miss Merry Christmas! We're calling you lardasses out" Valentina yells, Victor beside her with a serious expression on his face.

"Don't just stand there, deal with them" Doublefinger hisses, waving her hands in a shooing motion, mostly to piss off Merry Christmas, because it was fun

 _In Alubarna_

' _Fuck, how does someone lose a princess?_ ' Kaos thinks to himself, making his way through the streets, until he yelps and ducks a sword swing "Shit, not you again!"

Lucina growls "I don't know what part you play in this, but I'm taking you down"

"Kind of busy at the moment, any chance of a rain check?" he smiles weakly, then jumps out of the way of another swing 'I'll take that as a no' Kaos thinks

"I will eliminate you in the name of justice!" Lucina shrieks, Kaos narrowly avoiding getting his head lopped off

The reflect human was glad his reflexes were good enough to keep the blade at bay for as long as he had (though he'd never tell Garp that, didn't want the idiot to think his insane _training regime_ was a good idea after all), but eventually Lucina got the upper hand and her sword stabbed through his shoulder, pinning him to the wall

"Fuck!" Kaos hissed, the wound burning like a hot iron had been stabbed into it, but there was also the draining feel underneath it like he had been dunked in seawater

Lucina wraps her hand around his neck, Kaos too out of it due to the seastone to stop her when…

"Shit, the marines are here too!"

Both turn (well Kaos' eyes flick over to where the voices came from) and see a palace guard and rebel solider, standing at the entrance of the alley Lucina had funnelled him into. They turn to one another, nod and raise their rifles, chanting "For Baroque Works" as they fire

Kaos just manages to avoid biting through his tongue as Lucina reefs the sword from him in order to deflect the bullets away. The millions realise they'd fucked up when Lucina yells and tears them apart with Parallel Falchion, the blade slicing through their weapons as easily as their bodies

" _I'll need to watch out for her in the future_ " Kaos thinks, using the distraction to put some well needed distance between himself and Captain Nylock, it was while slipping between streets he noticed something ' _Well, this could be fun_ ' he thinks with a wide grin, letting his fruit's power flow over his entire form _'I've only gotten to use this once since we started out, Luffy will be so pissed he missed this again'_

 _Outside the city_

"Damn it, we lost them already" Valentina huffs, kicking up the sand before sitting

"It's not that simple Val, they wouldn't be high ranked numbers if they were that weak. They're clearly up to something"

 _Thump Thump_

"Guys! We have a problem" Chopper yells, the other seeing the sink holes opening up in the sand near him, then hearing Merry Christmas' voice coming from the holes

"I hope you didn't think we'd be beaten that easily. Time to show off our Number 4 batter" she cackles and from one of the larger hole Mr. 4 rises, swinging a baseball bat around as he does

"He doesn't look so tough" Alvida comments, her grip tightening on her mace reflectively

"True, but I get the feeling he's at least better with that thing than Mr. 9 was" Victor adds, still unsure what to make of these 2 agents.

"Do they have Devil fruits?" Usopp asks, getting shrugs from the defectors

"Christmas most likely does, how else could she make these holes, but 4? No clue whatsoever"

Bark

"Four!" the rotund man yells, smacking the incoming ball towards the pirates who jump out of the way just in time to avoid the explosion

"Holy shit, exploding baseballs!" Usopp yelps

"Yep, definitely more of a threat than 9 ever was" Valentina confirms, though is confused by Victor's smile "What now?"

The 4's forgot something important"

"Four!" another baseball

 **Boom**. _Puff._

"Being a bomb man, means I'm explosion proof" Victor grins and Mr. 4 has to sink below the sand rather quickly to avoid an exploding snot ball in response

"Well that means one of us is safe, but where's he getting those balls in the first place?" Chopper asks, then gets tapped on the arm by Usopp

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that monstrosity over there" he suggests in a panicked tone, pointing to a dog/bazooka hybrid monster

"Does a Grenade-grenade fruit even exist?" Alvida wonders aloud, just before the dog-thing sneezes, shooting another ball which 4 redirects towards the crew "No thanks you can have it back!" the smooth woman retorts as she smacks it with her mace, though her aim is off and the explosion takes out some ruins instead "Damn it"

"Impressive" Alvida turns behind her to see Merry Christmas pop out of one of the holes "I've never seen anyone be able to redirect one of Mr.4 or Lasso' balls before, given they're time bombs and weight as much as a cannonball, but somehow a twig of a woman like you can do that. That makes no sense. ExplainWomanExplain!" she screams, then has to jump into one of her holes to dodge Alvida and Usopp's attacks, the Exploding Star missing by an inch, which was less than the mace which came nowhere close

"Shit, I just realised what this is" Valentina says with a groan "We're about to enter a fucked up version of whack a mole" the others stop for a moment to consider her words…. And the swearing begins

"Well that's one way to look at it, plus its delicious irony given I ate the Mole Mole fruit. Luckily thanks to all my holes we'll be just as hard to hit as the moles in that game, and we hit back"

Bark Bark Bark

"FOUR!" The rotund man drones, sending a trio of baseball bombs at the crew

"I got thi…"

 _Thump_

The ground opens up at Victor's feet, causing him to fall into the hole, the balls flying unimpeded and clocking Usopp in the face, as well as Chopper in the chest.

"That was actually smart, who knew these dumbasses had 2 brain cells to rub together" Valentina muses as her 1 kg form floats onto Alvida's shoulder like she ate the parrot variant of the Bird Bird fruit "But they made one little miscalculation. Everyone get away from the holes!" she yells as loud as she could

"What?"

 **KABOOM!**

"Stupid penguin, my body is a bomb, the only thing that would have stopped me blowing my way out of those tunnels would have been sea prism stone cuffs" Victor smirks as he pulls himself out of the now larger hole he'd fallen into, his full body detonation setting off a chain reaction throughout the entire molehill Merry Christmas had created "Go fuck yourselves and the cannon dog you rode in on" he grunts, spitting into the hole as one last attempt at clearing house, the explosion caused was much smaller as would be expected.

 _Elsewhere – Sanji_

Due to the erratic way in which the Straw Hats split up, it's no wonder Vivi as well as each other's locations were lost rather quickly, Sanji only running into Vivi accidentally on his path to finding Bon Clay but he was glad to run into the okama when he did, intercepting an attack on the princess and a barely conscious Carue, pissing him off as while not human Vivi's companion/familiar was an honorary lady in his book, so seeing the poor duck that badly hurt sparked righteous fury in his heart.

"Vivi, don't you have a rebellion to stop? I'll deal with this creep, you head off and we'll let the ducks get Carue to safety" he says, straightening his suit as 2 of the supersonic ducks tried get her onto the larger one's back, to which Sanji smiles softly and lifts her "Get her out of here, it's a literal war zone and those injuries look serious. Now Go!" he gives the bird a light slap on the flank, emitting a small yelp before running off in a plump of dust "Now that's over, it's just you and me dumbass"

Bon Clay stands and smirks "Yes but not for long, nothing I've fought so far has been able to stand up to more than a handful of strikes of my okama kempo!" he boasts flamboyantly. That boast would have meant something had Sanji not been able to block his kick with one of his own almost lazily

"You only fight Usopp on this island, that kick was weak. My old man kicks harder than that and he's got a peg leg" Sanji taunts as he blocks another of Mr. 2's ballet kicks

 _Elsewhere – Zoro_

Once he entered the capital, Zoro took off in a random direction to the other 4 to enter, partly as that had been the plan (to get the agents to split up and divide their forces) but it was also proof of how easily Zoro could get lost. So here he was, standing somewhere near the middle of town, with no idea where he was, or where everyone else was either, at least until…

"Roronoa Zoro!"

' _Ah shit'_ Zoro groans internally, seeing Tashigi marching over to him, hand clenched around Shiguri's hilt "Listen, this isn't the best time…"

"Shut up!" she yells in his face "I've tried to do this politely, but if you refuse to surrender those swords to most deserving hands I'll take them by force"

"Yeah right, the only way you'd get these swords and more importantly be considered deserving of them is to beat me in a fight. Until then, go stick the hilt in your mouth and go annoy someone else" Zoro replies with a scoff, then as his well honed situational awareness kicked in the swordsman jumps at the marine sword-otaku. As Tashigi yelps Zoro knocks her to the ground, just barely avoiding a slash from Mr 1, deep gashes in the stone wall behind them fairly conclusive proof of that

"What the fuck was that for?" Tashigi screams at Zoro, her cheeks red and blotchy (Zoro's not much better) "Also get off me, you brute!"

"A thank you would be nice" Zoro grumbles as he stands, the marine finally noticing the damage done to the wall exactly where her head had been previously, the colour draining from her face. "So, no problem with collateral damage eh Mr.1?" he asks the stoic looking man in front of him.

"None. You're Zoro right? The Straw Hat's Swordsman?" Mr 1 answers and then asks, smiling ever so slightly when Zoro nods and reaches for his swords "I was hoping to get to fight you"

 _Vivi_

As she ran through the streets, Vivi was running on fumes physiologically, seeing so many people being killed or maimed needlessly, under the orders of people she cared about, it was cutting her up inside worse than any blade.

' _Luffy, Carue, and all the others, risking their very lives and for what?_ ' she thinks as tears glisten in her clenched shut eyes, then her teeth clench, his hands curl into fists and the anger rises from the sea of depression and pity she was wallowing in _'No! I have to do this, they're counting on me! Everyone in Alabasta is counting on me! I won't let HIM WIN!'_ pushing herself to keep walking Vivi turns her attention to the palace, knowing Chakka would be much easier to find than Koza.

TBC

LW: Well, shit's happening and I hopefully delivered on my promise.

Merry Christmas: Eater of the Mole Mole fruit/ Mogu Mogu no mi

Lassoo: A gun that ate the Dog Dog fruit/Inu Inu no mi model Dachshund.

No that hasn't been explained as to how an inanimate object can ' _ **eat**_ ' something, but it's happened a couple of times in the series, Lassoo was just the first.

Q: Can we mark standing in front of the stampede known as the rebel army count as Vivi's dumbest decision? Cause it has to be at least pretty high if it isn't

This is the last chapter of One Piece for 2018, so thanks to everyone who started reading or has continued to read my work this year and I hope you come back in 2019, chapter 37 will be out on the 5th of January providing I can keep my schedule going.

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year!


	37. Battle of Alabasta, part 2

LW: Forgot to say this, but strap yourselves in, this is going to be a long section, may take a month or more for me to get to the end. Hope you enjoy it :D

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Battle of Alabasta part 2

 _Outside the capital_

When Merry Christmas finally popped out of the ground she was steaming mad, while 4 looked slightly more dopey then usual "You little shits are going down! When I'm through with you you'll all be joining your pathetic captain in Hell!" she shrieks before diving into the ground once more

"But wait, Luffy's not deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Usopp begins to wonder, but it devolves into screaming when Christmas grabs him from below the sand and begins to pull him along like a bumper car in reverse "Somebody do something"

"Shit, we can't stop the hag like this, Ussop's the only thing in that attack that's visible" Alvida whines

"And hitting him negates the point of trying to save him" Valentina agrees

"Get into your batters stance Mr. 4" Christmas orders, driving Usopp through a wall before turning and dragging him on a collision course for the mad batter.

"I can't watch!" Chopper yelps

"Victor, toss me" Valentina orders, the man looks confused for a second before complying, the lemon girl hitting her target perfectly… unfortunately for both of them Merry Christmas' mole claws did a better job gripping Usopp than Valentina did so she ended up getting left behind while Usopp got a 4 ton bat to the face.

"Usopp!"

"You still alive?"

"Cunt!"

"HaHaHa. IwasrighthewasaweaklingjustlikeIsuspected" Christmas laughs and taunts, Usopp's broken body lying face up in the sand

"Haw. Haw. Haw" 4 laughs slowly as expected.

"I'm going to kill both of you!" Alvida yells, the KI flowing off the other 3 showed they were pretty close to agreement with the mace wielder

"There. Are. Times…" everybody stops "…When. A. Real. Man. Must. Stay. And. Fight. Instead. Of. Running" the voice wheezed and broke, as if every sound hurt.

"No way, you survived that!"

"Usopp" Chopper cheers, happy his friend was able to move, though the doctor side of him grimaces at the sheer amount of damage done to the boy, as well as the amount of work he was going to need to do in order to fix it when all this was over"

Usopp grins with bloody lips and missing teeth "Like. Right. Now" He stands shakily, hoping he could survive long enough to see these bastards taken down, maybe see Kaya once more too "When. A. Friend. Needs. Them. To. Keep. Fighting"

"You idiot, you were hit with a 4 ton bat, in the face. You shouldn't even be alive, never mind standing and blathering like that. Oh well, whatever kept you alive this time won't work again. Time for another play Mr. 4" Christmas rants before diving once more into the sand, Mr. 4 getting into his ready stance. The difference being the Straw Hats had seen this move before, and had an idea.

"Give 'em their worst" Usopp yelps as he was once more dragged across the plains

 **Horn Point**

 **My Nose Fancy Cannon**

With the sand kicked up from the explosion forming a makeshift smokescreen, Usopp manages to slip out of his shoes, just before Chopper catches Christmas in his new form's oversized antlers, luckily structurally sound enough to hold the rotund mole woman

"What trickery is this" Christmas shouts as she struggles

"Mole Hill, Intersection Number 4" Valentina calls, confusing 4 who shrugs before swinging his bat, slamming directly into Miss Merry Christmas' face, sending her flying

"Four?" the man gulps, then tenses when he feels someone right behind him

"New batter, Straw Hat Substitution" Alvida shouts with a wide grin, before her mace slams into the man's gut, throwing him back with enough force to shatter a pillar and stop just before rolling over a passed out Merry Christmas

"We, did it" Usopp cheers weakly, raising his hands before collapsing onto his back

"Usopp!" Chopper screams, running over as fast as possible with the others just behind him "We're gonna need a medic over here"

"You're the ship's Doctor!"

Chopper blushes "Oh yeah"

Meanwhile – In the city

He may be dressed like a weirdo and started off weak, but Sanji had to admit Bon Clay had some skills, the ballerina able to use his dance skills to dodge a lot of the cook's kicks, making it look almost effortless, much to his annoyance. Sanji still managed to get some hits in but after stepping up his game so did he, culminating in a simultaneous throw back as they kicked each other square in the face, throwing both of them into the opposite walls of the street they were fighting in.

"You're quite good Mr. Cook, in another life you might have been a dance rival to me" Bon Clay says as he pulls himself back to him feet, Sanji frowning as he spits out his cigarette.

"Same, you aren't as bad as I thought, still can't beat me but it's at least more of a challenge"

Bon Clay frowns "Then it sounds like I need to use my secret weapon"

The blond scoffs "Don't care, do whatever you want I'll still beat you, ye crazy weirdo"

 **Mutton…**

"Sanji no!"

"Nami my love" Sanji swoons, noodling over the sexy red head

 **Okama Kempo: Heartbreaker/Nutcracker**

Sanji falls to his knees at the low blow from the ballerina "Well seems you're much easier to read than I had expected. A real soft spot for the ladies ay cook?" Bon Clay laughs, switching back to Nami

'Damn freak, even if the outside looks like Nami it's still that balet weirdo underneath' Sanji thinks as he stands up

"Oh my, in this heat I really shouldn't be wearing so many layers" Nami purrs, unbuttoning her shirt, Sanji's eye nearly falling out of his head at the sight of her breasts

"Oh my sweat Nami chan, truly the vision of a goddess"

 **Okama Chop**

 **Keri Point**

Sanji grunts as he takes the ginger's fist to the face, before the ballerina slams both his feet into the cook's head, throwing him up against the wall.

"Looks like this fight will be over sooner than expected, after all that you fall to such a simple move"

Sanji growls "I'll show you simple when I shove my boot up your ass"

Mascara boomerang

The blond easily sidesteps the okama's projectile and was this close to kicking the dancer's teeth out when…

"Please Sanji, don't hurt me"

..he transformed into Kaya, his honour code combined with Kaya's light frame (he was trying to get her to a more healthy level but this shit takes time) stopped him in his tracks, leaving him wide open to the boomerang part of the attack

"Well this was fun, but I'm on a bit of a deadline so..." the dancer begins to spin, speeding up until it was a top shaped blur "Round and round and round I go, when I stop…"

' _Wait a second'_

 **Okama Kempo: Memoirs of a summer's day**

 **Collier** **Shoot**

Just as Bon Clay's spin ends, Sanji's kick hits him right in the centre of his sternum, throwing him through the bulidng right behind them

"I see the problem with your attacks, or at least the big ones. You can't wear another's body when you use them" Sanji taunts as the dancer pulls himself from the rubble, grinding his teeth in anger

You may have a point there cook, all my best techniques require this body, sculpted over years of rigorous training. But I'll tell you this much loverboy…" running full sprint Bon Clay transforms into Nami, leaping onto her hands before planting both feet into Sanji's shocked face "…cat burglar has quite the flexible form, it'll do for the small stuff which when you can't fight back is all I really need"

"Mr. 2!"

Bon Clay looks around (As does Sanji from his position on the ground) and gasps "M-M-Miss All Sunday!" he stutters

She looks down at Sanji and smirks "Dealt with the prince I see?" she muses, noticing the blond flinch at the title as she does

Bon Clay laughs "But of course, his legs may be strong but his heart is weak, thanks to my Mane Mane no mi I can use it to break him easily" he continues to laugh as Sunday gets closer

"Good to know" she whispers in his ear

 _ **CRUNCH**_

There was a very high pitched shriek as Mr. 2 collapses bonelessly to the ground on his back, feeling like his balls had receded all the way up to his heart.

"Why?" he wheezes, to which Sunday gives him a smile which doesn't quite fit her face correctly, all teeth and wide eyes.

"Just evening the playing field" she answers before slamming her boot onto the okama's right hand, causing enough damage to stop him using his fruit for a while, but not enough to maim him

At this point Sanji had gotten to his knees and was in the middle of pulling himself to his feet "Why are you helping me? You're Baroque Works" he asks tensely

"Fu se fu. Oh Eros it's quite simple, I always have and always will perform acts that benefit me or amuse me" Sunday laughs, then brings her hands up to her face, her right palm side to Sanji while the other palm faced her (Like when Alucard uses his release restraint level 1) so her right eye was framed by her hands

 **Fukanzen'na hansha [Sheipu Sunacchi]**

Sanji's jaw drops as a silver sheen cover's Robin's curvy body, spreading out from her hands then her entire form looses definition, her large bosom retracts into the whole, her limbs extend and body shoots up like bamboo, even her cowgirl hat changes shape. By the time colour returns Kaos was standing there with a wide toothy grin on his face

"Hey Sanji you look like shit"

"Bastard"

"Probably. Also I'm going to assume that's how you say thanks in pervert chef, so good luck with the fight, I need to find Vivi" Kaos chuckles and runs off, Sanji's anger bubbling away

"That barbarian!" Bon Clay shrieks as he finally stands up, his legs shaking for a moment before steadying himself "Well, it seems that since I can no longer use the female form to distract you I'll just have to use something a little more heavy duty" he then removes the swan themed 'shoulder pads' (No clue what else to call them) attach them to his ballet shoes and moves into a fighting stance "You don't stand a chance cook, not against these babies"

 **Prima: Bombardier**

Bon Clay lashes out with a kick, Sanji dodges, then gulps when he sees the swan had made a perfectly circular hole in the wall behind him

"Extended necks with steel beaks, it was smart to dodge that kick as I believe the closest comparison to the damage my prima attacks dish out are achieved with high powered rifles, except these beaks are much larger than the bullets in question" Bon clay laughs, meanwhile Sanji wishes he could go back to _Nami_ kicking his teeth in

 **Collier**

Sanji lashes out but the steel swan jabs itself into his collarbone, throwing him back, while the ballerina laughs and pirouettes before jumping into the air.

 **Memoirs of a Winter Sky**

 **Basse Côte**

Bon Clay launches a spinning kick, but Sanji manages to dodge it, then in a moment of 'eye for an eye' kicks the Mr. 2 in his left shoulder. What followed was a flurry of rapid fire kicks and dodges from both sides, and while Sanji had strength, as well as experience learning under Zeff, Bon Clay had reach as well as those spiked swans drilling into him whenever they did manage to hit him. Finally the 2 were barely standing, swaying in the warm desert breeze gritting their teeth and trying to will the other to fall. Finally both dig deep and go for their finishing move

 **Bombardier Arabesque**

 **Veau Shot**

Sanji falls to his knees, then his face… and Bon Clay crashes into the building behind him, taking out some of the wall and dropping him to the ground. The blond sighs deeply and lights a cigarette after pulling himself to a seated positon

"I give up" Bon Clay sighs, spread eagled on the ground in a bloody heap

Sanji's swirly eyebrow rises into his hair "You're still alive? Damn"

"Well co… Sanji, get it over with and kill me. There's no point trying to avoid it, either you will or Baroque Works will when this is all over for failing to complete my mission. So get on with it" Bentham stops when he see that rather than preparing to end him, Sanji was standing with his hand offered, the flamboyant dancer's eyes water and not from pain this time

"Shut up. It was a good fight, and that's all that needs to be said doesn't it" Sanji smiles just a little as Bentham grabs his hand and allows himself to be pulled up to a standing position, this guy may be a weirdo but he's not bad per say. He still kicked him in the head to knock him out, but killing him seemed too far for Sanji.

With Vivi

"There you are wee lass" Vivi tenses then turns to see a stocky looking man with thick red hair and a bushy beard, as well as black arrows on the back of his hands

"Mr. 6" she gasps

"Ay"

"Don't fret princess, this will be over in seconds" came a monotone as a woman steps out from behind her counterpart. Her hair was flat and lifeless, her face devoid of emotion and her white jackets lined with disc blades.

"Hello Miss New Years Eve" Artemis greets, appearing behind Vivi causing the bluenette to jump

"Miss Goldenweek" the 2 agents acknowledge with a nod

"Artemis, what are you doing here?" Vivi asks

Rather than answer the girl responds with "Aunt Vivi you shouldn't be along, Baroque Works are looking for you in particular after all"

Vivi looks ready to respond before both jump out of the way of an arrow shaped spike which imbeds itself in the wall before being recalled

"Looks like it's 2 on 2" Artemis says seriously, pulling out her brush and palette.

Vivi blanches "WHAT? NO! I can't let you fight these people, your father would kill me if he found out"

The artist chuckles "Don't worry Vivi, mama taught me well, plus I'm Rank 3, they're Rank 6 and you are Rank 8, I should be more worried about you and New Years" she grins in a manner similar enough to Kaos to disturb the princess before running into the battle, tossing colour traps and other techniques as she goes.

Vivi sighs, then has to twist out of the way of New Year's bladed rings "Okay, guess it's you and me"

 **Peacock Slasher**

 **Dragon Blaze Slice**

 _Artemis_

Artemis smiles as she bounces along the area, her red traps keeping his attacks well away from her for the moment, but she knew it was only a matter of time.

"This is the power of the Vector Vector Fruit isn't it? She asks, just as an arrow tipped attack slices through her shirt's shoulder, also causing a shallow cut "shit" she hisses, looking up she sees how he'd managed to bypass her traps: His eyes were closed

"Ay, and my Vectors are going to tear you apart" he answers, opening his eyes and smirking when he spots the blood weeping from her cut. He then aims his arms in her direction, Vectors forming on his skin "Seeing as I have to fire blind in order to have any chance of hitting you, might as well use my most wide spread attack…"

 **Vector Storm**

Artemis winces as his attack tore a large hole in the wall she'd ducked behind for cover. Peering out she sees Mr. 6 using several Vectors to hold himself up like a spider and Vivi was holding her own against New Years, but the woman's variety of moves could catch the bluenette of guard if she lets up for even a moment. Frowning, Artemis looks down at her palette and prepares another trap.

Rolling out of cover Artemis tosses a blue trap, followed by a green and a purple, the first dodged while the others were disrupted by Vectors, she still smirked until 2 more managed to reach her, one shatters her palette and the other nicked her just before the ribs

'Well, guess this is what a backup plan is for' she thinks almost sadly

 _Back to Vivi_

The bluenette yelps as she ducks luckily managing to avoid being burnt or having her hair singed by New Years now flaming disc _'What the fuck? How did she … oh I really hope it isn't 12 rings for 12 signs.'_ Vivi grimaces as she retaliates with her slashers, managing to cut New Years cheek, before the ring burns through her threads. The woman frowns and reaches for another ring, which she throws directly at Vivi, the princess using one of her slashers to alter the course rather than anything more severe

 **Snake Vemon Slice**

Which was lucky for her as the bladed edge appeared to be coated in some kind of acid, burning/slicing through the building beside her with ease.

There was a momentary reprieve when both to take cover dodge 6's Vector Storm, but once that passed they were once more slicing at each other

 **Rooster Jet**

This disc was larger than he others, which Vivi guessed was the reason it moved slower, after being tossed than the others. That was until she flicked her wrist, the ring rotating around itself 3 times before releasing a compressed ball of air shot out, getting Vivi in the gut as it threw her up against the wall

'I'll never laugh when Dad complains about his bad back again' Vivi thinks as she grimaces, meanwhile New Years stalks towards her…until she falls to her knees

"All the suffering, all the death and destruction, because of me" she whimpers, tears leaking down her cheeks. Vivi was shocked to see the normally emotionally distant woman break down like this but then she saw it: a curved blue line directly in front of New Year's knees and she remembered something helpful, this wasn't her against New Years, it was her and Artemis Vs Team 6.

Knocking the woman out Vivi moves to assist Artemis when she stops: Seeing Mr. 6 using his Vectors as spider legs and Artemis who had pushed back her left sleeve to reveal a jet black greave with a red eye near the elbow and an inkwell at her wrist.

"Let it be known, I don't want to do this" Artemis says flicking open the ink and dipping her brush in it just before proceeding to draw on the air, what it was Vivi was unsure, but based on what she could follow there were a lot of eyes in the design. After a few seconds she stops and slams it in Mr. 6's direction

 **Nightmare BLACK**

The symbol slammed 6 right in the chest, causing all colour to drain from the man before falling forwards, mumbling incoherently

"W-w-what was that?" Vivi stutters a question, to which Artemis turns and sighs

"The strongest and most dangerous of my techniques. Nightmare black traps the target in an endless nightmare other their own making, usually their past experiences or things they have inflicted on others. This continues until their hearts give out, and I'm sure Mr 6 will be very annoyed and embarrassed he was killed with a calligraphy brush"

At this point Vivi notices the brush in her hand wasn't her normal paintbrush, but one shorter and thinner "That's…"

"The same brush I write script with Kaos with? Yes, same as the ink. Papa says I shouldn't use writing equipment as a weapon, but Mama says to always use what's available in order to survive" Artemis shrugs and slips the brush into her pocket and closes the inkpot.

"Good to know, also note to self don't piss off your mom. Now come on, we need to get to the royal palace"

"On it Aunt Vivi" the artist salute playfully, running after Vivi who smiled, she liked the idea of being an aunt, of having a family larger than just her and her father, Artemis and Kaos were both insane but them and the rest of the crew really grew on you quickly. She sighs now was not the time, now she had to get to the palace and stop this fight before everything went to hell.

With the 6's dealt with the rest was remarkably easy, sure it took a couple minutes for her to get the guards she ran into to allow Artemis to accompany her but once that was done it was smooth sailing. Now they just had to convince Chakka

"Are you insane, we can't do that!" Yells the man with the 2nd longest nose the bluenette knew (his was larger, but Usopp's was longer)

"Why not? Do you really think if the palace falls Alabasta does too? Alubarna is the capital but it isn't Alabasta. Alabasta is it's people, it has always been it's people, it has struggled and it has suffered, and now it's people are fighting and dying with the same ideas on either side. This needs to stop, before it's too late and we go too far"

Chakka's head drops, his eyes sad and lifeless "And how do we know it's not already too late?"

"We won't know until we try. All I need is their attention for a moment; we need some way to get everyone focused on one spot. If you can do that then I can take care of the rest" Vivi states confidently, even if her hands shook "Now do it Chakka, destroy the palace!"

"The rebels are going to do it anyway if they manage to get here, why give them the satisfaction?" Artemis adds, the smirk on her face unnerving a few of the palace guards even if some understood her train of thought

Chakka looks conflicted before kneeling before Vivi "As you wish princess, I will follow your order" he then gives a half smile "With Cobra unavailable you are technically Alabasta's sovereign ruler after all" He then stands and turns to his men "You heard the princess, let's move it!"

A little later

"I'm sorry about all of this" Chakka says sadly as they watch the preparations be made for Vivi's plan to work

The princess nods before giving a small smile "You've done all you could, and you've managed to hold off the rebels the past 2 years that myself and Igaram have been gone. There's nothing to apologise for, plus my friends will make sure things work end the way we hope and this war will be over soon"

"When this is over, I will ensure we have a proper banquet to celebrate all you and your pirate friends have done for this kingdom"

Vivi chuckles "Luffy will be happy to hear that, but we have to focus on the present for now, especially with how big this is going to be"

"Princess, we're ready whenever you are" one of the guards announces, luckily the 3 of them were a good distance from the building

"4,000 years of history about to go up in smoke, I hope this is worth it" Chakka mutters to himself

"It better" Vivi growls then yells "Okay light your fuses now!"

The guards gulp but attempt to do as she asks, the only problem being a localised _sand_ storm, which not only extinguishes their torches but send them all flying

"He's here" Artemis chimes, she may not be a devil fruit detector but Crocodile's not even trying to be subtle anymore is he?

"We can't have that now can we" the gruff voice sound from the air, the sand flowing together and condensing into the smug grin of Crocodile "I mean this is about to be my house, can't have you blowing it up on me now can I Miss Wednesday?

"CROCODILE!" Vivi shrieks, then turns a sickly white when she sees the Warlord had someone with him… and it wasn't just All Sunday this time

"You majesty!" Chakka yells in shock seeing Cobra unconscious and on the ground beside Crocodile

"Isn't it lovely Miss Sunday, to have a palace like this?" he asks, not paying the people below him any heed.

"Crocodile! Where is Luffy?" Vivi demands, her rage practically flowing off of her like steam

"Luffy? Oh you mean that stupid rookie in the straw hat?" Crocodile asks, grinning smugly "I hate to break it to you, but that brat's dead" he laughs as Vivi looks sick to her stomach, her clenched fists shaking, meanwhile Artemis frowns hoping Crocodile was wrong because then Luffy can show up and kick his ass

 _With Zoro_

"You've got quite the unusual body, Devil fruit related I presume?" Zoro asks seeing the outer edges of Mr. 1's arms shift into blades

"Correct, I ate the Supa Supa no mi, enabling me to transform my body to adopt the properties of a steel blade. I'm a Fullbody Bladed Human. Now Roronoa Zoro, prepare to die by the hands of Mr. 1, Daz Bonz" Mr. 1 explains, jumping at Zoro who blocks with his 3 swords

"You're not going to win that easily, just because your whole body is a sword doesn't mean you'll beat me or stop Vivi"

"You mean us" Tashigi declares, her Shiguri held in a ready position, causing Zoro to raise an eyebrow

"You've changed your tune quick" he says, causing the woman to scoff

"Not really, I still believe you're undeserving of those blades on account of being a pirate, but right now you appear to be trying to do something good. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and right now Baroque Works is the bigger threat. Plus, while almost as bad I can put up with you as long as I pretend you're mercenaries princess Vivi hired to deal with Baroque works and or the rebels"

Zoro chuckles to himself "We nearly were if Nami had anything to say about it, but Luffy agreed to help before she could bleed the royal coffers dry"

 _Speaking of Nami…_

' _Shit, fuck, shit'_ Nami swears in her head, while outside her and Kaya pant from their current hiding place, hoping they finally managed to loose their Baroque Works opponent, Miss Doublefinger.

"Think we lost her?" Kaya asks, getting the answer when a spike pierces her elbow and throws her to the ground

"Kaya!" Nami yells, running to her friend (as well as away from the wall they were just attacked by) and helping her up, both gulp when they see the perfectly round hole in the wall, followed by several more punctured before their very eyes until it formed the outline of a doorway 'This is it, we have to fight' Nami thinks, fear deadening her legs as she pulls out a blue metal pipe, hopefully Usopp's best work yet… if it isn't she's going to haunt him for the rest of time.

Once complete the space between each hole cracks, the section falls and Miss Doublefinger sashays out of the door she just made "There's no point in fighting me girls, just give up and I'll make this quick" she raises her arm and the cuff of her jacket turn into a ring of spikes "With my Toge Toge no mi, I can end you with a simple shot to the heart or the brain, quick, simple, you won't even feel it"

' _I've seen what Kaos can do with spikes, this isn't going to be a pleasant experience'_ Kaya thinks, wincing as she rests her hands on her revolver grips

Doublefinger blinks "Wait, you 2 are actually going to fight me? _And he I pegged the guys as the dumb ones of this crew_ " she asks and thinks, just as Nami hooks up her new bo staff

"Stay away, or I will unleash the full force of the ClimaTact upon you" Nami shouts, her bold declaration causing Kaya's lip to curl, it seemed Usopp was rubbing off on them more than she'd like to admit.

'The fuck is that?'

Nami grins as she arranges the segments into a triangle "Time to get this show arolling"

 **Fine Tempo**

Of the things this could have done, a puff of smoke and 2 doves was not on the list for any of them, mostly Nami given the depressed aura she was releasing

"Are you alright?" Doublefinger asks, actually feeling bad for the girl

'Okay, so one was a dud, and now she's standing there confused, that must be a distraction technique' Nam thinks as she readies another attack

 **Cloudy Tempo**

The flowers the pop out of the end of the Clima tact was less than helpful

"Kaya I'm killing your boyfriend if we all survive this!" Nami shrieks as she tosses the staff on the ground in anger

"I believe it's my turn now kids"

 **Double Stinger**

Nami and Kaya bob and weave to avoid the flurry of spikes Doublefinger tries to impale the 2 with, decimating a wall, tearing through a barrel they shoved between them, and one shot pinned Nami until Kaya's shots had her move defensively, enabling the thief to yank herself free

"We are way outclassed in this fight" Nami whimpers, her pride broken enough by the wound to her shoulder and the fact they had no actual way to hit this crazy lady she was able to admit even that.

"Are you finally ready to give up then?" Doublefinger purrs, swaying her hips as she stalks the two

Anger pushes fear to the side, even just for a moment "Hell no! This still has plenty of moves hidden inside it. Forcast Thunder" Nami shouts, connecting the segments into a Y formation before aiming it at the bluenette

 **Thunder Tempo**

"That almost worked Nami" Kaya tries to comfort her borderline suicidal/homicidal crewmate, the boxing glove currently swinging from the end of the Tact looked like it had been moving at some speed, it just hadn't been long enough to even touch Paula.

"That's not an attack, this is!"

Finger Stinger

Doublefinger's spike managed to draw blood and cut her cheek before the Nami's reflexes and self preservation instincts kick in, meaning she was running for her life once more, Kaya not far behind.

"Long nosed fool, we're going to die here, and it's all his fault" Nami cries "Asshole, why can't you make a real weapon, or admit that you couldn't? These are all useless!"

"Um, Nami, what's that on the back?" the red head raise an eyebrow and goes to turn over the instructions

"You've had your fun, it okay if I kill you now?" both Straw Hats look up, seeing Doublefinger hanging upside down directly above them

"How'd she get up there?" Nami asks, not that it mattered right now as she was on the way down…

Hedgehog Stinger

…As a giant spikeball of death. Of course she was. The girls gulp then run full sped away, the spike ball nipping at their heels

"Kaya, window now!" Nami yells and the blond follows her, jumping through an open window in the hopes to at least slow down their attacker. It did a little, as Doublefinger had to stop and basically give it a running start but oh well, The real help came when it burst through and both girls threw their desert cloaks on her, not because it revealed their dancer outfits (if this were Sanji it might) but because the cloaks got caught in the spikes, or maybe the other way around. Either way Doublefinger had to retract her spikes in order to free herself from the cloth, at which point Kaya fired, the only problem was…

 _Ping_

The bullet bounced off her spiked hair, luckily that was more a parting shot as they both had already left by the time Doublefinger had actually pulled herself free and got a chance to survey her surrounding

With the girls

"I'm going to kill him!"

Kaya sighs "What did Usopp do now?"

"That moron made me a party favour, I asked for a weapon. These attacks on the back better actually do something" she grumbles the last part

"So that's where you're hiding" Doublefinger purrs, swaying towards them

"Yep, and now I've finally got this figured out"

Doublefinger pouts "No more magic tricks?"

"None, only your defeat!"

 **Heat Ball**

"We're in a desert island hun, it's already too hot to think, also don't use that as an excuse"

 **Cold Ball**

"Okay this I like, a pleasant breeze after all this running around"

 **Thunder Ball**

"You're seriously fighting me with static cling? You do know I'm killing you first for being a pain in the ass right?"

 **Sewing Stinger**

' **Damn it Usopp even your offensive attacks suck, now we're going to die, this day can't get any wor** …..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Nami screams and falls as Doublefinger's spike pierces her leg, falling into Kaya and both hit the ground in a heep

"Well, this was a pointless fight" Doublefinger grumbles raising her foot, and causing her show to resemble a porcupine

 **Stinger stomp**

 **Cyclone Tempo**

Nami swings her tact just before she gets hit, the upper sections slam into Doublefinger and throw her back, before returning to their original position on the end of the Tact like a boomerang

"Hm, so the balls are useless on their own, but combined together they actually can be useful" Nami grins as she finally starts to understand how to use her new staff ' _Guess you're not completely useless after all Usopp'_ she thinks

Doublefinger pulls herself free with a scowl, a tic forming on her forehead when she sees Nami standing around 'damn cocky brat' she thinks before 5 spikes pierce the red heads body "Never turn your back to your opponent, unless you don't value your life"

"Oh I value it very highly thanks" Doublefinger's eyes widen as she hears that damn voice, the bitch should be dead. It was then the image of Nami faded and disappears, confusing her even more

"What the"

"I used the cool ball, combined with the heat from Alabasta's climate and a little light I made myself…"

"A mirage! But… how?"

"Used properly this is a miracle weapon, I think it works well for me" Nami grins as she lifts the Climatact to her shoulder, while anger only deepens inside Miss Doublefinger

TBC

LW: Well that's everything, ta ta everyone :D

Most of the new stuff is explained within the story, so I guess this section may not be needed any more. I'll keep mentioning new Devil fruits as well as translations though, just because it helps sometimes. Unless you want me to keep doing this I mean.

Paula/ Miss Doublfinger Eater of the Toge Toge no mi/Spike Spike fruit

Fukanzen'na hansha [Sheipu Sunacchi]/ Imperfect reflection [Shapesnatch]


	38. Battle of Alabasta, part 3

LW: Hi guys, does anyone remember the opening in the anime for this part of the story? Because it gave a MAJOR spoiler as to the next person to join the crew, as well as who wouldn't be (well in canon at least, I can do what I like ;D). Just thought I'd do a bit of memory lane that's all, for anyone not rewatching them as I am to make sure I don't miss anything too important.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Battle for Alabasta part 3: And then there was Zero, victory on the Horizon?

 _With Vivi and Artemis_

"I don't believe you Crocodile, Luffy can't be dead" Vivi angrily denies, but Crocodile chuckles

"Deny it all you want Wednesday, I sent that boy on the path to his final resting place, and he's not coming to save you"

"Luffy would never fall to the likes of you"

"Really princess, the poor fool gave his life for you, and all you're going to do is yell impotently up at me. I bet he's wishing he'd never met you at least then he'd still be alive"

"This is all a trick, or some sick joke. What's your game Crocodile, I'm ready to listen this time" Vivi yells, her eyes glisten

 **BANG BANG BANG**

"Protect the princess"

"Get in there"

"Someone get the cannons, we'll blast our way in"

Crocodile frowns "Miss Sunday, deal with them" to which she nods

"Of course Sir" she smirks as she summons arms to deal with the rabble just outside the palace, at least buying them time to have a moment of peace. Then her and Crocodile bring Cobra down to Vivi, Artemis and Chaka, though clearly it was more for their own convenience than anything else. Mostly because the first thing they did was nearly crucify the man to one of the pillars on the front of the palace

"Now I have your attention, as well as you secured, I want to ask you a very important question: Where is Pluton?"

While most of the group looked confused (and Sunday looked bored) by the question Cobra's eyes widen and he shudders "How? How do you know that name, of that thing's existence?"

Crocodile smirks around his cigar "Pluton, a weapon so powerful it can annihilate an island in one shot, at least according to the legends. One of the 3 Ancient Weapons, of which this one if hidden in Alabasta, but you already knew that Cobra, else you wouldn't care about the fact I knew about Pluton. It has been my target from the start, with it under my control this country will become a military power all its own and I will rule the very seas"

"That's why you destroyed my country!" Vivi yells as Chaka argues against Crocodile's control of Alabasta

"Correct princess but with Pluton at my command it won't matter, I'll subjugate every pirate in the region under my flag and start my conquest, even the World Government won't be able to stop me"

"They won't let you have that sort of power" Cobra growls, causing Crocodile to chuckle

"Also true, guess your family is smarter than I expected, still where is the Pluton? Tell me!"

"I don't know where you heard that rumour Crocodile, but I don't have the slightest idea where your weapon can be found. I don't even know if it existed in the first place, never mind was hidden in this country"

Crocodile sighs as he removes his cigar "You're not entirely wrong, I have considered the chance that Pluton never existed and was just a fable, but some people say he same for Poseidon, Uranus and the One Piece, but I choose to believe that it is real" He then turns and looks out to the gathering royal soldiers "If my calculations are correct the rebel forces should reach this point in about 20 minutes and fight the assembled royal army, and then in a little under 30 minutes, at 4:30 they will all be destroyed by the bomb I have set up to be thrown into the square"

"A bomb?"

"You'll kill everyone!"

"Please no, I beg you" Cobra pleads to the Warlord who just shrugs

"Oh and I feel I should mention it's no ordinary bomb, but one so powerful it'll destroy everything in a 5 km radius" he says casually

"But if you do that…" Vivi begins but crocodile interrupts her

"Everyone will die as you said before, nobody from the royals or rebels will survive and the conflict will be over. Hear that princess in less than an hour your wish for them to stop this pointless fighting will come true"

"Like a fairy godmother arriving with a magic wand… and a crap ton of explosives" Sunday comments giggling to herself

"You're both so heartless and cruel, what did these people ever do to deserve your hatred. They all have lives and families damn it!" Vivi screams, restrained by Chaka while Artemis for once considers the moral consequences of using one of her **calm traps** on the bluenette

"They don't have to die, I might change my mind… if the king answers one more question" he steps into Cobra's space, cigar rubbing against his cheek "I know there's a poneglyph on this island, so you're going to tell me where it is"

"If you promise to spare them I'll tell you everything I know" Cobra offers flatly, a little broken inside "Even show you where it's kept" he adds

Crocodile shrugs "of course, my word is my bond" he agrees, Vivi hearing a slight snort from both the other females in the area

 _With Nami and Kaya_

After the momentary win for team chick, things went down hill once more, mostly involving both StrawHats nearly getting impaled on Doublefinger's arms, beaked face and breasts ( one of the weirdest scene of this section of the anime, partly because it took me a minute to get out of the mental 'the fuck am I looking at?' position and realise that was what she did), and not really being able to do anything to fight back, sure Kaya took some pot shots but the spike woman's powers were able to deflect them with minimal damage if any.

"You know" Kaya pipes in, leafing through Usopp's instructions "I think the Tornado Tempo is all we've got" she sighs grumpily, feeling pretty much useless right now

Nami nods "Yeah but we only get one shot at this and we don't want her just dodging the attack. We need a distractio… no not you" she adds seeing the girl was about to volunteer "Usopp wouldn't want his girlfriend to get impaled by someone she only just met"

Pale cheeks turned rosey red "Back to the plan"

"Right, I think I have an idea

 **Rain Tempo**

"Back to the party tricks I see" Doublefinger purrs, though her irritation was beginning to bleed through "Guess it's time to end this!" She declares, turning her hair into a good imitation of a spike ball

 **Sea Urchin Stinger**

Both managed to dodge (Nami just barely) leaving Doublefinger to barrel right through the building in front of her.

"I really hope this plan of yours is almost done" Kaya gulps as Doublefinger sways out then jams her spikes into her own shoulders, her muscles swelling and tearing through her sleeves

 **Spike Spike doping**

She then shifts her forearms into what could be described as maces and ran at the girls, taking out a pillar in the process

"That was way too close for comfort" Nami whines before her eyes shine 'It worked, I made a little cloud. Emphasis on little it's not ig enough for my plan to work. Damn'

 **Cool Ball**

 **Heat Ball**

Seeing the air bubbles didn't do anything to her Doublefinger ignores them, charging straight at the girls with her spiked arms

 **Stinger Flail**

Which were only barely blocked by Nami's clima tact and Kaya's interlocked revolvers, though the force behind the attack still throws them to the ground. Looking up though both girls grin ' _Show time'_

 **Thunder ball**

One more the static bubble is ignored by Doublefinger, though the pain it sends back to her isn't as easily forgotten, striking the cloud Nami had formed it increased in power, then rained lighting down on the Spike woman with a vengeance. With her opponent distracted Nami set up her ultimate attack, unfortunately the bluenette got up faster than expected "Crap, Kaya lock her down, please, do anything!"

 **Bang Bang**

Doublefinger gasps as she falls to her knees, shocked the frail looking girl had managed to shoot her in the knee, both of them

"Damn, if you're this good, why'd you keep running from me?" she couldn't help asking

"I'm still new to fighting, I don't want to kill people, plus your spikes are pretty good at making you essentially bullet-proof" Kaya answers as Nami stands up, looking proud of herself

"A Tornado warning as been issued, I suggest you give up or buckle up" she says then grimaces she steps forward

"Oh my, seems I did quite a bit of damage to your leg there Speedy, but at least it means you can't run away" With her own legs out of action for the moment she pushes forward with her enhanced arms

 **Sea Urchin Stinger**

While she will definitely regret it later Nami still uses her injured leg to brace the attack, getting at least 2 of Doublefinger's spikes through her foot (Given the damage done to Usopp Chopper should be able to patch that up easily enough), but on he bright side at this range she _**CAN'T**_ miss

"This is for Vivi" Nami whispers before activating

 **Tornado Tempo**

The actual attack surprised the 3 of them, birds on wires tangled up Doublefinger's arms and legs before the entire head of the Tact rotates rapidly, spinning the woman at dizzying speeds before the ends detonate, sending the Number 1 female through several buildings.

Nami grins then stumbles, Kaya catching her before she fell "We did it Kaya, we beat her"

The blond smiles softly "That we did Nami, that we did"

 _With Usopp, Chopper, Victor, Valentina and Alvida_

"Don't worry Chopper I'll be fine, just point me to the battle and I'll keep fighting on even if my arms get ripped off and my nose is broken again" Usopp declares bravely…. Were he not bandaged up more than a mummy, something which amused Valentina for some reason

Quiet down and stop fidgeting or else you'll cause internal bleeding" the doctor warns/scolds, causing the sniper to pout but shut up and slowly shuffle with assistance from the 2 heavy hitters of the team

"Well glad to see you all alive and well, for the most part" Sanji greets as they reunite, the cook a little banged up but alright

"You're hurt" Chopper says as a statement more than a greeting, to which the blond shrugs

"I'll live, oh and Usopp here are you goggles back"

"Thanks Sanji, ah crap that ballerina broke em, damn it and they were the latest model too" the sniper grumbles but the others were more focused on an approaching 'dust cloud'

"Looks like there's more trouble coming our way" Alivda says

"Back up for the rebels "Victor suggests

"More are coming?" Chopper asks, worried about his friends

"I'm afraid so, guess we're going to have to head in and deal with the internal problems, hopefully before those idiots get here" the crew nod and run towards the steps of Alubarna, Usopp being helped up by Victor and Sanji.

 _With Zoro_

"This guys seems familiar" Tashigi muses as the 2 duel against the blade man

"I as thinking the same thing, in fact if I'm right he used to be a pretty good bounty hunter… and assassin" Zoro agrees "So what happened to you, you went from a Big Man to Crocodile's lapdog, sure Number 1 is a nice title but you're still a lackey" he shouts, this time actually directed at Mr. 1

"Shut up" he growls, striking out once more at the duo

"Let's see how you handle these blades"

 **Bull's Needle**

 **Spire Defence**

Zoro strikes again and again, but Mr. 1 doesn't even flinch never mind get noticeably injured, something which irritated the green and the blue swordsmen

"So basically his entire body is as hard as steel" Zoro observes with a frown "If we want to do any damage we need to be able to cut steel, which I can't and I bet you can't either, just an observation"

Tashigi flushes "Hey… that's pretty accurate actually" she mumbles after her yell

Zoro shrugs "Well I guess there's only one thing for it"

Mr.1 raises an eyebrow "Oh really, and what's that"

He grins savagely " **WE** are going to learn to cut steel right here, right now, kick your ass and then deal with your boss if my boss hasn't done it himself by then"

' _Zoro's an idiot, you can't just decide to learn to cut steel it takes years of training to even get close'_ Tashigi complains in her head _'This moron is going to get himself killed, and probably me along with him'_

1 scoffs "Quite a cocky bunch of children you are, I'll have you know swordsman that since gaining my powers nobody has been able to so much as scratch me, never mind defeat me in combat. And as for your captain beating Zero, you and the girl have a better chance of beating me"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah now are we going to fight or are you planning to talk me to death over here?" Zoro asks, Tashigi looks ready to switch sides she was glaring at the moss haired boy so hard, but that ended when Mr.1 ran at them, throwing a bladed kick at Zoro's head only for him to be blocked by 2 of his swords "We're waiting"

1 growls "Keep talking, that way I'll know the exact moment you die" just before sending a bladed hand to tear out his throat, Zoro once more blocks but can't stop Mr. 1's other hand, luckily Tashigi was there with Shiguri

"Nice to see you join in, also thanks" Zoro smirks at his partner who frowns

"Please tell me you have an actual plan" she pleads, then looks ready to cry when Zoro shrugs and shakes his head

"Plan's aren't really my thing, much like Luffy. Nami and Kaos complain, mostly the witch, but they say no plan survives first contact so what's the point. I'm a swordsman so I use my swords to take out my opponents, simple as that"

She didn't get to verbally respond as Mr. 1 started fighting for real, slashing at them with his hands and legs, their 4 against his body, neither side really getting anywhere until Tashigi manages to get a kick past his guard and into his gut, pushing him back long enough for Zoro to get into position

 **Oni-Giri**

 **Tiger Trap**

While on a regular opponent using 2 of his finishers would probably overkill, but as the 2 wait for the dust to clear they pale as Mr.1 steps out completely unharmed.

"I told you, you can't hurt me I'm hard as steel. Give up before you embarrass yourself any further. Or don't and die!"

 **Sparkling Daisy**

' _For such a girly attack name, that was dangerous'_ Zoro thinks as they pull themselves out of the wreckage Mr. 1 had just sent them into, lifting a good section of it off their backs himself _'And scary too, he cut the building without even touching it, and with us in the way'_

"Damn it, what I wouldn't do for Captain Nylock's sea prison stone blade right about now. I bet THAT could give this bastard some trouble" Tashigi wheezes as she pulls herself up with her sword

"Still alive I see, going to try cut me again eh?"

' _He's too strong as is, but maybe…_ ' Tashigi bites her lip then moves her hand to her back

"Don't" she stops, looking up at Zoro, still holding part of the building above them, "You're still working on it aren't you? That's why you haven't gone for it until now, you're still best with one sword. A situation like this isn't the best time to try out a new style, it's for proving why you think you're strong enough to add to what you have" the brunette frowns but her hand comes back to the front, both tighten on Shiguri's grip as she glares at Mr. 1 "And you, that wasn't a threat earlier, it's a promise. We are going to learn to cut steel today, we're going to beat you, and you are most likely going to die, failing that I'm sure Tashigi will he happy to bring you in or add you to her collection as a living sword" he smirks then grunts weakly from the light elbow to the stomach for his comment, not enough to really effect him, after all she didn't want to drop a building on her own head, but enough to get her point across.

"Arrogance even now, your death will not be pleasant, it will be horrific, that I promise you" 1 grunts as Zoro drops the building on him, mostly to free up his hands so he could reclaim his own blades

 **Atomic Spar**

Which was a good thing as the stone was diced into chunks before it even got close to the Blade human, his face as passive as ever. His body was more expressive as he dodged and parried the swordsmens strikes, both seemed to have a renewed determination in their eyes as they made it their one goal in life to draw blood from their enemy. While unable to cut him the stab to the solar plexus from Tashigi unsteadied him enough for Zoro to get into position

 **Crab Grip**

On anyone else this would have decapitated the target, but like everything else, it did F***ing nothing.

"This guy is really starting to piss me off" Zoro grumbles around Wado, Tashigi nods with a frown

"Don't worry, the feeling is mutual. Guess I'll have to get creative if I'm going to kill you" Mr. 1 hums before forming rotating blades on his forearms

' _Shit!'_ was the mutual thoughts of the 2 swordsmen

 **Spiral Hollow**

Sparks fly as Mr.1 holds both of his obstacles at bay with his rotating blades, smirking just a little as he feels the girl's blade start to slip, at least that should take one of them out and allow him to focus on Zoro.

The problem with that came when he pushed Tashigi's sword out of the way of his blades, namely Zoro pulling back to throw off his balance as well as give him a shot at another strike, which as always bounced off his skin

"You want to die that badly, let me help you then" 1 sighs as he slams one of his fists into Zoro's gut, tossing him back and slamming him into a pillar, leaving as bloody smear as he lands, while his other arm digs into Tashigi's side, throwing her up against the wall. He walks slowly over to Zoro, ignoring the bluenette for the moment as both were currently out of commission and missing their swords "Hm, so you're still alive, that is actually surprising"

Zoro scoffs as he pulls himself into a sitting position against the pillar "I fought and survived Mihawk's Yoru, I'm not going to die by the hands of a living blade who isn't even a swordsman" he then spits a bloody wad at Mr.1's feet, to which the man merely grunts

"We shall see about that claim"

 **Spar Break**

"Zoro!" Tashigi yells as the swordsman as well as the pillar he was leaning against are sliced up by Mr.1's attack, followed by the pillar cracking and collapsing on the green haired man.

"Don't worry, you'll be joining him soon enough" 1 states, amused she'd managed to stand as well as retrieve her blade… no this one was different. It was then something happened which chilled him to the bone and nearly had her drop her sword in shock

"I have to go somewhere first" Zoro manages to say, standing in the middle of the wreckage

' _But how? I tore him to shreds, and all those rocks, did he dodge them?'_

Shuffling over to one of the rocks, Zoro pulls it up with the usual lack of effort he exudes when doing physical tasks, smiling slightly as he finds Wado hidden underneath

"After everything I've done to you, all the blood you've lost, how are you still alive?" Mr. 1 yells "No matter, when I'm done with you you'll wish you'd stayed down and played dead" he moves to strike him down, only to feel something he hadn't felt in a long time: blood on his cheek, specifically his own. Turning to his side he saw Tashigi, shaking like a leaf, with the tip of her blade dripping with his blood. She'd broken through his steel skin.

"I said we'd both learn it, didn't I?" Zoro's blood soaked smile looked as demonic as they said he was, but that wasn't going to stop Daz Bonez from ending this once and for all

 **Atomic Spurt**

 **Lion Strike**

The fountain of blood was expected from an attack like this, the one doing the bleeding however wasn't. Dropping to his knees Mr. 1 holds it together for a moment before passing out and falling flat on his face.

 _Back to Vivi and Artemis_

Crocodile smirks as he was finally about to get what he wanted when he sees Sunday flinch and a cut form on her hand, followed by the doors she was keeping shut fly open revealing the Kicking Claw Force, an elite division of the Alabasta Guards "Well, someone got brave, eh Miss Sunday?"

"I'll be fine, want me to take them out?" she asks, moving her hands into position but was stopped by a wave from Crocodile

"There's no point, they're already dead" he hums

Cobra yells for them to stop and leave but one of them calmly states they can't, then shatters his braces with a flex of his arms, causing the king's eyes to widen and his jaw to drop _'No, please let me be wrong'_

Vivi gulps "Chaka, what's going on?" she asks, getting the answer from an unexpected source

"So they're using the Odium, should be fun to watch while it lasts" Artemis says with a clinical gaze as some of the men nearly double in strength

"How does a child know about that?" Chaka questions, getting a smile from the artist as well as Sunday

"Goldenweek wasn't an agent for her fighting skills but for her intellect, the fact she had those paints is the reason she was rank 3 though" Sunday explains with a proud smile as Vivi pinches her nose

"Before the conversation becomes a complete circle, what is the Odium?"

"A last resort, a strange concoction warriors with nowhere else to go can take it and become super strong and resilient, but they also die soon after, the process has already begun. I doubt it matters but most who ever consider using it also consider it dying with honour" the artist adds sadly and the princess notices the now pitch black eyes, as well as similar coloured fluid dripping from their eyes, and mouths

Crocodile gazes flatly at the men "Suppressing the rage and bloodlust from the moment you drank it until now, that has to have come at a steep cost to that time, what do you think Miss Sunday, 5 minutes at most?" Sunday's eyes show a little pity though nothing else as she nods

"That's all we need to end you!" the 4 men charge and strike him, which probably would have worked were he not a logia, as he was the sand was parted and swirls in the air, reforming the War Lord on the roof

"Such stupidity, some people never understand self preservation" he sighs almost sadly then smiles down at them "Seeing as you're on a countdown already I don't even need to kill you, I can just sit back and watch you die by your own hands" he laughs, pissing off practically everyone on the ground

"You won't even fight them, you bastard!" Chaka shouts, his body shifting as he watches his men fall to the ground, their hearts giving out due to the overwhelming power they took into themselves

Crocodile smiles slightly at he next opponent "A Zoan type eh? We had a mutt in Baroque Works too, except he was a bazooka too" he laughs as the inky black dog zoan leaps up and attacks him

"I'm a Jackal"

 **Howling Fang**

Once again a direct hit that SHOULD have done something, were Crocodile not made of sand. A fact he was happy to remind the Jackal Man while he easily beat the shit out of him

"Chaka no!" Vivi screams, then jumps when she hears a familiar voice at the gates behind her

"Vivi" she turns and there he was, Koza, worse for wear but still standing and alive, but also confused "What am I seeing? I expected the Royal Army, but what I see here, is Chaka beaten within an inch of his life, you looking about ready to pass out and the King… nailed to the wall and about to be killed by the man our country holds up as a hero"

"Oh this is going to be fun" Crocodile laughs "Both the heads of he conflict, neither on the battlefield but here at my mercy, what a good day to be me"

"You look a little lost kid" Koza turns his head to Sunday, still with her half smile "Let me help clear the fog. Open your mind, think of the worst possible scenario that would fit this situation, and double the horror" the smile becomes a full smirk when she sees it in his eyes, he knows exactly what's going on

"Father was right, the king didn't abandon or betray us, IT WAS YOU!" Koza shouts at Crocodile who bows like he was giving a show

"Correct, everything you've accused the king of doing these past few years, was done by me or more specifically my men, all leading up to this moment. Thank you for playing your part of the unwitting pawn dear Koza, without your rebels this would never have worked out quite as well as it did"

"Koza"

"Yes your highness?" the rebel leader asks as he turns to his king, shame filling his heart at having believed he could do the things he was accused of.

"There's still time to save people if you have the courage. You need to get as many people to safety as possible. The palace square will be blown higher than the Sky islands in less than half an hour"

"What? How?"

Vivi tenses before answering "Crocodile has a bomb, ready to go off at half 4. We need to do this now or so many people will needlessly die" then grabs Koza by the back before he could run off and tell people "HOLD IT!"

"What are you doing you crazy bitch, you just said there was a bomb in the square and to save people, so why are you stopping me?"

The bluenette sighs "Because if you go out there and tell them there's a bomb people will panic, and even if you can get them to leave, or defuse the bomb the fighting will continue, this needs to end now or it will just keep poisoning our country until it finally breaks apart.

Crocodile chuckles "You're smarter than I gave you credit for Vivi"

Koza frowns "So what do you suggest we do?"

"What should have been done a lot sooner, we end this rebellion and stop the bloodshed. You are the only person with that power Koza, please try for all of Alabasta you need to make them stop!" tears flowed down her face as she finishes her speech, which Koza wipes away

"Vivi" he begins but both stop when the sand starts to swirl around them

"Did you really think I'd just stand by and watch you try to put an end to my plans?" Crocodile asks, aiming to jam his hook straight through Vivi's heart… were it not for Chaka catching the hook with his sword "You're still alive?"

"You will never harm he princess while I draw breath" Chaka declares pushing the Warlord back "Go, end this fighting and bring our country back" he orders to Vivi and Koza who nod and run off

"Should we have mentioned the traitors to either of them?" Robin's eyes widen as Artemis appears beside her, looking bored as she waited for her papa or Uncle Luffy to show up, Crocodile was just asking for a butt kicking being such a dick to everyone.

"No, why spoil the surprise?" she smirks and prepares to move; once Crocodile is done with this Cobra will be leading them to the poneglyph.

"Royal Army, raise the white flag!" Vivi yells, confusing the men below

"Is she serious?"

"That would mean the end of Alabasta"

"Listen up" again their attention goes up the steps, this time to Koza standing beside her "The princess speaks the truth, we no longer seek victory, only to end the conflict, enough people have died in this fight, let it end here and now" He holds out his sword, still sheathed "I will make every rebel understand as I do the pointlessness of continuing this civil war, just raise the damn flag, I beg you!"

About 5 minutes later the rebels enter the square, and stopped dead in their tracks when the saw the Royal Army standing with white flags billowing in the wind, but even more so Koza standing at the very front, holding one as well

"The Royal Army, surrendering?"

"What's Koza doing here?"

"When'd he get ahead of us?"

"Everyone listen, lower your weapons and hold your anger, the royal army has agreed to stop, let no more blood flow through the streets of Alubarna. The War is over"

' _Please work'_ Vivi pleads with any deity that will listen, on her knees practically begging the heavens for the fighting to stop

The silence was suffocating, though what followed was much, much worse…

 **BANG BANG BANG**

Koza gasps and falls to the ground, shot in the back by Royal army soldiers ' _converted_ ' by Baroque Works

"NO! KOZA!" Vivi screams, as things go from bad to worse

TBC

LW: Well that's as good a spot as any to end it, hope you're all still enjoying this fic.

Chaka: Inu Inu no mi/Dog Dog fruit Model Jackal (Makes sense considering Alabasta is basically Anime Egypt, he's a Zoan to resemble Anubis, like how Pell is meant to be Horus)


	39. Water Luffy Vs Sand Croc Round 2 Fight!

LW: Herea we go, ceasefire over!

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Water Luffy Vs Sand Croc? Round 2, Fight!

"KOZA!" Vivi screams as he falls, luckily the shots were damaging but not instantly fatal as the man still pleaded for his men to stop, until a convenient sandstorm blocked off vision to both sides within the square, shortly followed by shots being fired, setting off both the royals and rebels into attacking each other once more.

"It's too bad Crocodile had a plan even for this. So what are we going to do now princess?" Vivi turns to see Artemis standing beside her, though she noticed the girl was more sad for Vivi's sake/because it was affecting Vivi than the heavy loss of life happening unseen in front of them

Steadying herself Vivi stands in a rigid posture "We continue the original plan, force both sides to listen to reason and stop Baroque Works from ruining this country any more than it already has"

The artist nods "Okay, but wasn't that what we just failed to do? You said Koza was the only person they'd listen to" at this Vivi blushes in embarrassment

"Actually, I think there are a couple of other people they'll at least stop and listen to, I just said it because Koza IS one of them and it would stop him running in half cocked as he often did when we were younger"

"Oh. So new plan?"

"We stop the bomb, we have 15 minutes and if we do that we can limit the casualties, especially as even if we were to stop the armies they'd still get blown up if we don't deal with the bomb" she explains, then gets lifted by her throat by a bored Crocodile

"Are you really still trying to stop the inevitable, really princess I'm starting to think you're the one with the rubber brain" Crocodile almost jokes as he slams her against the wall, Cobra watching on helplessly, Artemis looking panicked and Robin bored

"I don't care what you think, I will stop you even if it takes my last breath" Vivi wheezes, and Crocodile flashes a smirk

"That can be arranged my dear" he purrs, dangling her over he edge of the palace "You know, if you'd warned the royal army about the bomb their may have been a panic, but at least then you'd have let some live to see the sunset, where as now they will perish in a fireball"

"Stop Crocodile, let her go!" Cobra pleads, then turns when he hears Sunday chuckle beside him

"A Poor choice of words there your highness, if Crocodile lets go of the princess, she makes a red and blue splat on the ground below. Fufufu"

"She's not wrong" the warlord comments in a deadpan "You did a reasonable job as Miss Wednesday, but besides that every step you took to stop me has just made things easier for me to tear this country apart, or manoeuvre it to tear its own throat out. So goodbye Vivi, may you find heaven more appealing than Alabasta" he laughs as he allows his hand to collapse into sand, sending the girl plummeting over the edge

"Vivi!"

 _Whoosh_

Crocodiles smile drops when he sees it, ' _that shouldn't be possible, I killed that brat already!_ ' he thinks, panic flickering in his eyes before annoyance settles over it

"CROCODILE!" Luffy yells from Pell's back, both boy and falcon looking pretty close to murderous right now

' _Luffy_ ' Vivi's heart skips as she hears his voice, despite her own circumstances she smiles widely, overjoyed at the sight of her cap…. Her friend alive and well despite what Crocodile had told them _'Note to self: Kaos is insane but rarely wrong'_

' _Took you long enough Straw hat'_ Robin thinks as Luffy and Pell dive after the falling royal, swooping down and catching her with little space between her and the ground

"Just in time" Luffy mumbles as he holds Vivi close, assisted by the girl nuzzling into him as further proof he was real

"Luffy. Pell. There's a bomb in the square, everyone down there is going to die in under 10 minutes and everyone else I can turn to is already either broken, dead or dying. I can't do this anymore I've failed and my country is finished. I can't stop the rebels or get either side to see reason, no matter how hard I try they just don't hear my cry" Vivi sobs into Luffy's shoulder, the boy both sad and angry to see the girl who so stubbornly defended her decision (even to some of the other crewmates) to save everyone giving up and sounding so broken and hollow.

"Don't worry Vivi" the princess looks up and sees a faint smile on Luffy's face, which grows when he continues "As long as we're here this isn't over. We will make them hear you and save them all!" the watery smile she returns was the best she could do, but with a declaration like that hope began to take root once again. The grin she received from their stowaway helped too, Artemis happy to see Uncle Luffy was okay after holding off Crocodile for them

"You guys go deal with the clock tower and the bomb, I have a rematch I need to deal with" Luffy orders, fulfilling his captain duties immediately, both girls nod along with Pell as the rubber man limbers up

"Luffy's alive!" there was a momentary pause from the 4 already gathered before they look behind them and see Chopper with tears streaming down his cheeks, being shortly followed by a heavily bandaged Usopp, badly bruised Sanji and a roughed up Victor, Valentina and Alvida, the latter dragging her blood stained mace behind her.

"See, I told you he'd be fine" Usopp boasts proudly

"For someone who knew he was fine, you sure looked surprised a second ago" Sanji snarks, the group amused for a moment to see Usopp fall flat on his face and mope "Good to see you're back, it means I can stop listening to that psycho"

Luffy blinks, the turns to Vivi "Was Kaos that bad?"

Valentina laughs " Kya kya kya. He's just a little sour Kaos called dibs on Miss All Sunday as his opponent while he had to fight Mr 2"

"That makes sense" Luffy nods, he was pretty sure Sunday was the pretty lady Kaos and Artemis like with the big boobs that are even more on display than Nami's, definitely would have been a problem for a lover of women like Sanji to fight.

Vivi on the other hand was smiling widely "You're all okay, that's brilliant!" an expression actually got wider when she hears the arguing of some familiar voices

"I don't see why he couldn't carry me, or more importantly why you stopped me from making him"

"Because as the healer pre Chopper and the only one of the 3 of you with medical knowledge it's a miracle his insides are still inside him, meanwhile you're are just walking with a limp until Chopper can fix you up"

"Be thankful I'm letting you lean on me at all you crazy bitch"

"Nami, Kaya, Zoro" she cheers, the Straw Hats watching their companions step out of the dust cloud, then noticing they were still missing one "Anyone seen Kaos?"

Sanji sighs "He interrupted my fight to kick Mr. 2 in the balls wearing Sunday's face and body, but other than that I haven't seen him"

"He did what now?"

Luffy laughs "Imperfect reflection, nice shishishi" then sees everyone looking at him "What? It's a good play again Mr. 2's face stealing power, especially as he didn't have Kaos' face"

"When did you figure out tactics?" Nami asks, having stopped beating Usopp with her new weapon upon hearing Luffy make sense

"I know what Kaos' moves do, and given how worried we were about Bon Clay's powers his version of the move would be pretty dangerous against Baroque works, especially wearing the unofficial face of their boss" Luffy defends, the others agreeing with his logic, especially as with Crocodile's whole persona being based on anonymity, Miss All Sunday was basically the Head of Baroque Works, even if she just relayed orders.

"Wait, when you said face and body do you mean?" Valentina performs a gesture miming cupping her breasts, but much further forward than on herself, at least mentally aware how much of a size difference there was between her and Sunday.

"Ha, must have been the weirdest boner you ever felt seeing that chick melt into Kaos" Zoro laughs, then coughs up blood worrying Chopper and Kaya

"No, that was Mr. 2 constantly switching between himself and Nami, seeing that bombshell melt into the psycho was more a disappointment than anything else" Sanji admits with a sigh

"We can discuss all this later, right now I have a croc to skin" Luffy growls, surprising the crew by the vicious intent behind it "I know I lost to him before, but this time I'm going to kick his ass. Plus fighting a sand man in the middle of a desert is dumb even for me" Luffy admits, before catapulting himself up into the palace.

' _Don't die Luffy, we just got you back'_ Vivi thinks as Luffy gets within striking distance of Crocodile… and the attack hits, throwing the man across the empty space

"How? How can this rookie even lay a hand on me?" Crocodile mumbles as he stands, only to get shoved up against a wall, unable to dodge Luffy's next attack

 **Gum Gum Buzzsaw**

The resulting head butt cracked the wall behind the warlord as well as dropping him once again

"This kid, he hit crocodile, what is he?" Cobra thinks aloud, everything up to now has neither phased Crocodile nor managed to even inconvenience him never him hurt him but this straw hat boy was tossing him around like a chump.

"That kid, is your daughter's friend Luffy, more specifically Monkey D. Luffy" Sunday supplies the answer, mostly to see the wide eyed shock at the name, given his position in the world he had to know the other holders of _**THAT**_ name.

"He can't be connected to them, can he?"

Sunday shrugs "Don't know, but it's pretty likely all things considered. Would explain the strength and the stubbornness, at least rivalling your lovely Vivi's if not outright eclipsing it"

"Get up!" Luffy orders "I figured something out in our last fight, as well as from our first meeting in Rain Dinners. If you get wet, then you can't turn into sand. No sand powers, then that means I can hit you just as easily as any non-logia. This fight just became a lot more even, eh Crocodile?"

Crocodile clearly didn't think so given the cackling the man was doing as he pulled himself up, completely ignoring the blood dripping from the side of his mouth "You really think you can beat me kid?"

"I just said I could, so yeah. Besides I found your weakness so that stops you simply ghosting all my attacks" Luffy responds

Crocodile nods "I'll admit I'm impressed you figured out that, I suppose you could call it a design flaw in my fruit's power, but that doesn't mean it's an even fight, I'm still strong enough to be one of the 7 Shichibukai, so you don't stand a chance"

Luffy frowns "If power is all it takes to be part of that group then you can call me the 8th Shichibukai!"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

Crocodile smirks "If I dodge it doesn't matter whether or not you can hit me. Plus my fruit allows me to absorb all liquid I touch, including the liquid inside you" he explains, grabbing Luffy's arm and sucking it dry

"Crap, forgot about that, don't know how given it's kind of disturbing" Luffy grumbles, running at Crocodile and kicking him in the face so as to free his trapped limb, the man dispersing into sand once more as Luffy drank from the barrel on his back to restore his arm to normal "Well, guess I'll need to add a little chaos into the mix if you can dodge that easily" he grins, throwing a pistol but just before it hit twanging his arm like a rubber band

 **Gum Gum Scatter Shot**

Crocodile grits his teeth, dodging rather severely to avoid any chance of the brat's punch actually hitting him

 **Desert Spada**

"That could have hurt, a lot" Luffy whispers as he just barely avoided the attack which cut a deep gash in the front of the palace. With that he rushes forward with a Pistol, then slams his other fist into Crocodile's face once he dodged it. Seeing the Warlord down takes the barrel off his back, jumps into the air and tries to slam it down on the sand man, the only problem being…

 **Sables**

…Crocodile saw that move coming a mile away, the mini sand twister sending him flying, though luckily he managed to stop the barrel smashing as he landed

"At least even a simpleton like you realise that barrel is the only thing stopping you from repeating our last fight step for step. Give up kid you can never beat me!"

Luffy frowns then his brows meet as he adopts his thinking face "You're right Crocodile, this is the same fight, I should fix that"

 _ **GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP**_

The 3 adults were mildly disturbed by the young pirate's actions, tossing the now empty barrel to reveal a more rotund Luffy "There we go, Water Luffy" he says dramatically, before something impossible happens "Oh no a leak!" as Luffy starts to spurt water like a sprinkler, Crocodile fumes, while Robin laughs at the oddity that was Straw Hat Luffy.

[Anyone want to give up on understanding how Luffy's body works? We haven't even gotten to the Gears and this makes no sense, though I am probably giving up because I know what's still to come]

"Stupid kid. STOP MESSING AROUND!" Crocodile yells as he rushes as Luffy, clearly intending to impale the boy on his hook once more, only to get caught in the face with a water ball courtesy of _'Water Luffy'_

"Who said I was messing around, I'm always serious in a fight. Here, let me show you"

 **Gum Gum Bazooka**

The blow slam directly into Crocodile's torso, causing the Warlord to cough up blood and go flying, shattering one of the smaller structures as he crashes through it

Cobra gasps "That kid beat Crocodile? He's weird but damn it he strong. _Vivi, you found some good friends_ "

Sunday hums "We don't have time for this right now, looks like it's just you and I that have a date with the Poneglyph" she says, blooming arms to tear out the spikes holding the king to the wall, then yanks him up to look her in the eye "Get moving"

"What's the point, looking at that rock won't do a damn thing" he asks, getting his arm twisted behind him for his trouble

"That's none of your concern, all you need to do is take me there and that is all. Don't ask questions, they only get you in trouble, found that out the hard way a long time ago[1]" she then looks over to see Luffy staring at her, partly curious, but mostly confused "Word of advice kid, Run. Because your luck is about to run out" at that moment the rubble explodes, revealing a very pissed off Crocodile standing there panting

"Get out of here Nico Robin, unless you'd like to join the brat as a dried up corpse" Crocodile growls "I'm through playing games, you've managed to piss me off enough to actually fight serious, for the 3 seconds it'll take to end you"

"And that's our cue to leave Cobra, you first" Robin orders, clearly annoyed Crocodile used her name… again, and even more so because Cobra recognised it _'Damn it, I was so close, fucking super strong kids, fucking prideful logias. Fuck. Them. All!'_

"Straw hat, I'm going to show you the full extent of my power, and end your life with it" placing his hand on the ground everything around him dried up and died in a growing wave outwards from the Sand-man, in fact as he put more energy into it even the rock started to crack and crumble

 **Ground Secco**

The entire area around them broke into sections, mostly centred on a deep fissure that was aimed straight for Luffy, luckily the boy was able to catch the edge with his feet and return fire…

 **Water Pistol**

Shame they were instantly absorbed by Crocodile's Devil Fruit powers

' _We'll I'm screwed'_

"You really thought I'd be that easy to beat, you really are a stupid kid. The true power of sand is to dry, and my right hand allows me to direct that power however I choose. Now I will end you boy!" he shouts, his powers causing the entire area around them to disintegrate to dust/sand, even Luffy's sandals.

 **Ground Death**

' _FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!'_ Was the only thing going through Luffy's mind as he clung to the balcony of the palace, looking down at the miniature desert Crocodile had formed from the lawn "That right hand, that's going to be a pain to deal with. Now where did he go?" Luffy didn't have long to wonder as Crocodile helpfully reformed directly above him

"Enough silliness, I don't have time to play anymore" he says gravely, wrapping his hand around Luffy's throat and dangling him off the roof, dodging another Water bullet as he does "You missed, figures your last act in this life is failure. This is the second time you've lost to me, I will make sure there won't be a third" With that he focused his powers solely on Luffy, draining the boy till his entire body resembled a mummy, his straw hat slipping from limp fingers and falling into the sand below. With Luffy now lifeless Crocodile lets him fall to the desert that was once the palace garden then dispersed into sand and left for Robin and Cobra.

Back with the others

"Are you serious? The entire square is going to blow in 10 minutes?" Usopp asks in disbelief, something shared by a good many of the others

"As serious as Luffy dying" Artemis answers, chilling them to the bone "Crocodile even admitted to have a bomb set up to annihilate everything in a 5km radius once the clock strikes half. We need to stop him quickly"

"Then we need to find the cannon and deal with its operator" Zoro puts forward, at least giving them a concrete goal

"But where would it be, if the cannoner wants to survive it would need to be a fair distance from the Square right?" Kaya asks, then frowns when Vivi shakes her head

"No, I believe the cannon is set up near the palace itself" she explains, shocking the rest of the crew

"You're serious, Crocodile's really that heartless?"

Chopper frowns "But if they're that close, they won't be able to get away from the blast. Crocodile's going to kill his own men?"

Victor grimaces "All the stories about Crocodile say he's cutthroat, but this is going too far"

"Well then let's quit yapping and get searching, there can't be that many places that could house a cannon big enough for the payload in the area Vivi suggested" Valentina adds, trying to lift their spirits by pointing out how easy it should be to find their objective.

"You're right lets…" Vivi begins but stops when a chill runs down her spine, she turns just in time to see a Million exit the sand storm with his sword coming down at her. Luckily some of the others noticed before her, as the sword was blocked by Zoro, and Sanji kicked the man square in the face

"Crap, more Baroque Works" Nami hisses, clicking her Climatact back together

"Princess, find the cannon we'll deal with these ruffians then join you" Pell orders, drawing his sword

"Do you mean Baroque Works or us, Drum Island called us that too" Zoro jokes as he holds Wado in front of him, itching for another fight

"Shut up and get fighting!" Alvida yells, swinging her mace into the skull of an agent, slamming them into a wall

"Got it!" the remaining Straw Hats run out of the sand cloud, knowing the clock was ticking on the lives of everyone around them, they needed to find that bomb.

 _With Cobra and Robin_

"He called you Nico Robin yes?" Cobra asks, he was stuck with this woman he might as well ask her what he was thinking

"Yes, but what's your point?" Sunday replies, already dreading where this was going

"That name was known to all 20 years ago. So tell me, why are you here?"

Robin chuckles "You're leading me to my prize, nothing more, nothing less" she then looks up and sighs "Marines, as if this day can't get any more tedious. Get out of the way"

"Not a chance, we know everything that is going on and we're not going to let you go" Tashigi declares, her hand on Shiguri's hilt, while Lucina had already drawn hers, the smile on the bluenette's face slightly worrying her co-workers

"Well, I guess you won't live long enough to regret your decision" Robin says in a tone which suggests she's already tuning out the conversation

"Don't worry about me we have bigger problems. At 4:30 a bomb is going to be shot into the Palace Square, you need to find it before that happens or a million people will be wiped off the face of the planet" Cobra demands/begs

Tashigi gasps "But, that's only minutes away"

"Good, you can tell time, now get moving. You can either attempt to capture me and fail, or you can do your fucking jobs and try to save the people of Alubarna!" Robin hisses angrily

"We'll just have to end you, then deal with the other threats" Lucina yells charging at her

"Disappointing" Robin whispers, her lips curling into a frown when the marine drops her blade to try remove the bloomed hand cutting off her airways

 **Un Fleur. Strangle**

"Sergeant Major, that's her. I know it is. That's Nico Robin!" One of the marines yell, causing the 2 higher ups to tense "I looked her up, just like Captain Smoker ordered me to. She earned a scary high bounty 20 years ago, everyone on the Grand Line knew that name. I still remember some of the reports, 6 marine warships sunk, some say an 8 year old girl did it. They declared her a level 1 threat, 79 million beri bounty for 'Devil's child' Nico Robin"

(Damn guys, do you really want to let people believe a little girl kicked all your asses that badly?)

"Enough of this wasted air, either move or die it's that simple" Robin finally yells,

' _We don't have time for this, especially if the threat is real'_ Tashigi thinks, before turning to the men "Sergeant, take the men and find that bomb. That's an order"

"But Major…"

"Don't argue, just move! We only have minutes left" With the remaining men gone and Lucina released but coughing she turned her attention back to Robin "Now, let the man go"

"this is getting us nowhere, I really must be going" Robin growls as she crosses her arms and before either marine could blink they were pinned with Robin's bloomed arms, their own swords pressed to their throats "This should keep you quiet and out of my way for a little while" she muses aloud, before walking around both of them, though not before crippling one of their legs each, Cobra shivering as the slasher smile on her face as she did it.

Back to Luffy for a minute

 _SPLASH_

"That was waaaaaaaaaaay too close" Luffy pants, the water from his ' _missed_ ' water bullets falling onto him in a single orb, rehydrating the frantically panting rubber boy. Seeing Crocodile gone he frowns then stands, retrieves his hat and begins running in the direction he believed the sandman to have left.

 _Hi Luffy, bye Luffy!_

"So, this is it, the royal tomb of Alabasta" Robin hums, it did look the part, old but well maintained, its people respected the dead "So, what does this have to do with the poneglyph?" Rather than answer her verbally Cobra pushes and then rotates one of the statues in front of the tomb, revealing… "A hidden passageway, now I'm impressed" Cobra frowns, unsure if she was being sarcastic or not "Well, lets get a move on"

"Most people aren't even aware of the existence of poneglyphs…" Cobra finally speaks as they descend the stairs "…and yet here you are"

"Yes here I am, I doubt my story is accurately told by anyone, so I understand why nobody knows there still exist people who can read the carvings on the rock" Robin's voice sounded flat and sad, but didn't break stride even when Cobra stops and gasps

"You can read poneglyph?"

"Yes, though I wonder if the World Government actually knows I do, or are just being thorough" she sneers at that, then tightens her grip on his arm to get him moving once again until she stops near the bottom "Is the legend true, that this poneglyph tells of where Pluton is kept?" this time she turns, reading his face for a lie

He nods "The royal family has guarded that secret for generations, though all we know is to protect the information, nothing more"

Robin looks surprised by the answer "Protect it? Well isn't that a strange idea" they continue and reach the main chamber, but no poneglyph

"It's through those doors, in the back" Cobra answers before she could turn and ask, she still turns but it was to give him a small smile before opening the doors where is grows into a full grin

"There you are my dear, just as I imagined it"

 _10 minutes later_

Sitting in a corner watching a woman stare at a giant rock is about as boring as it sounds, so Cobra had to ask eventually "So, did you find the answers you were seeking?" not really expecting any kind of answer

"Are there any more here? Is this the only thing Alabasta has hidden?" Robin asks in response, or more so ignoring the original question

"This is the only poneglyph on the island, I kept my promise and brought you to it"

Robin sighs "That you did. _Damn, it's still not here either'_

"And here we are, the poneglyph that will make everything better for us my dear" Crocodile says as he enters the chamber "Done translating Nico Robin?"

Resisting the urge to strangle him for repeatedly using her name she nods "Yes"

"Good, then tell us what it says"

Robin begins to list of the history of Alabasta, from it's original settlement as **Sunagakure,** to the renaming and restructuring that would one day become Alabasta itself, with each word Crocodile got more and more angry, while Cobra's eyes widen in shock and confusion

"Enough with the history lesson woman!" Crocodile finally snaps "I don't care about this, tell me where they're hiding Pluton!"

Robin shrugs, while holding back a smirk "That information isn't on THIS poneglyph, which means even if Pluton is real it's not in Alabasta. The history of the People of the Sand is all that is etched into this cube"

Crocodile closes his eyes and sighs, breathing heavily for a minute before opening them again "That is… unfortunate, for you. As you are of no more use to me, I'll just kill you here, leave you to rot beside the stones you love so much"

"What?"

"We've reached the end of our arrangement, I brought you to the poneglyph and you relayed me the information. Unfortunately it's not Pluton, making it a waste of both our time and your life" he swipes at her with his hook, missing flesh but ripping her hat off "Unless it was there and you never intended to give me the information, in which case your betrayal will earn you the death you deserve"

Robin looks unimpressed, clueing Crocodile into something important "I always knew it would come to this, which is why I came prepared" she smirks before pulling a vial from her coat

"Water!"

Exactly. You may be able to dry out but while you're wet a knife can kill you as easily as any other man" Robin yells, tossing the vial to a bloomed hand which tried to smash it on him, only for it to phase through and shatter on the ground, leaving Robin and Cobra alone 'Damn it, where'd that bastard go?' Robin thinks, her instincts screaming at her to run, but she couldn't and in the end it didn't matter

 _Urk_

"Now we're even Nico Robin" Crocodile whispers in her ear, pulling his hook out of her back and letting her fall to the ground "Because I knew it was a stupid idea to ever trust you, so I expected a double-cross like this from the start, and as I thought, you waited till you got what you wanted before trying to stab me in the back. Goodbye Nico Robin"

His monologue was interrupted by rumbling above him "What? It's still too early for the bomb to have gone off" her grumbles, then sees the relaxed look on Cobra's face "What did you do?"

"Sealed you fate. This temple was designed so if one column was moved the entire structure would become unstable and collapse. We're all going to die here, and I'm okay with that if it means taking you with me. A thug like you will never be allowed to rule over Alabasta" Cobra explains, a part of him liking the apoplectic rage on Crocodile's face, cathartic after all this man had caused him and his people

TBC

LW: Well, that went badly for everyone bar Crocodile really. Hopefully things get better next time.

[1] Anyone who knows Robin's backstory knows exactly what she's taking about


	40. Crocodile's last stand: Out with a bang?

LW: Well here we are, almost done and the war reaches its peak

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Crocodile's last stand. Out with a bang?

 _?_

' _You better prove these skills of yours are worth having around, I'm not going to overturn my predecessor's decisions on a whim'_

' _ **I'll make you a believer no denial, when the Monkey beats the Crocodile.**_ _Good enough for you your highness?'_

' _We shall see, maybe you can assist on another matter if your prediction comes true'_

 _Sigh_ _ **'The Spiral eye and the great Snake Queen, even without my concoction that can be clearly**_ _ **seen**_ _. Just as much as what your question was, obviously'_

 _Alubarna_

Artemis grunts as she walks into Vivi's back "What's wrong?" she asks

"I know where the cannon is. The clock tower, it's large enough to hide the device and close enough to do the level of devastation Crocodile told us it would"

The artist hums and nods "Then let's go, times a wasting!"

"Okay, just one second" Vivi says, grabbing a fleeing Ussop as he tries to run past them "Artemis and I are heading to the Clock tower as I believe it's the best place they could have hidden the cannon. Can you get the others together and tell them?"

"You sure it's there?" Usopp asks to which Vivi nods "Okay, time to bust out the SOS"

 **Special Attack: Red Serpent Star**

As the red smoke trail forms in the sky Vivi leaves Usopp to it and runs to the tower, focusing the anger at the thought Baroque works corrupted/perverting another part of her past and country, even if unknowingly.

The bang as they were climbing the stairs of the tower worried Vivi as to the forces Crocodile left to guard the cannon… but also confirm for her the fact that yes the cannon was where she thought it was. Though when they did reach the top they found they did find the cannon, but no cannoner

"What, but how are they supposed to fire without anyone here?" Vivi asks aloud

"Ribbit, ribbit looking for something my dear?" both turn and spot 2 officer agents

"Mr. 7, Miss April Fools!" Vivi gasps, swearing under her breath

The man raises a 7 shaped eyebrow "Ah Miss Wednesday, Miss Goldenweek, 2 traitors at once, what a perfect day" both him and his partner raise their guns, when 5 silver spikes pierce his head and torso

"Papa!" Artemis cheers as the former agent was casually tosses aside, revealing the smirking 1st mate

"So, what we got here?" he asks, kicking April Fools into the wall when she tried to flee "Also sorry about the Zoro moment, aka me getting lost, but in my defence I've never been to Alabasta before, plus there are a lot of Baroque Works goons to kill"

"There's a bomb" Vivi explains "One which could level a good portion of Alubarna"

"Shit you really should get on that" he mumbles, opening the hatch "Okay, that's a big bomb, moving it to a safe distance may be a problem" Kaos thinks aloud, though softly enough they heard the slight landing of some unexpected help

"Princess, you're okay"

"Pell, just when I needed you most" Vivi turns and smiles as the bird transforms back into one of the guards

"Hey bird guy, Pell was it?" the man looks at Kaos and nods "Think your Zoan form can get this bomb out of the city?"

The falcon zoan looked thoughtful for a moment before answering "Yes, I believe I could fly it a safe distance before it explodes"

Kaos hums "That's nice but I think something less suicidal" he says, then pressing his forearms as well as the heels of his hands together, leaning in and puts his open palms on the bomb

 **Homunculus: Nightmare Cage**

His fingers extend as they slide along the surface of the bomb, linking together on the other side. His arms also fused almost completely as he pulled back "I was thinking whether or not you could get me high enough this won't blow up and kill everyone in Alubarna that isn't a logia"

"That doesn't sound any less suicidal; it just means the one dying is you!" Vivi yells angrily, but Pell still transformed, only a light grunt the proof Kaos and the bomb were an uncomfortable weight on his back before flying off.

"Idiots, there had to be another way" Vivi hisses angrily, only then noticing the bundle of cloth where Artemis was previously

"He'll come back" came a voice from the cloak, Vivi then realising it was Artemis wrapped up in Kaos' cloak and wearing his fedora, though the slight frown on her face told the princess she was trying to convince herself as much as the bluenette

Seeing this Vivi decided it was her turn "He WILL! Just like Luffy your Papa is too stubborn to die and there are so many things he wants to know, he'll punch death in the face so he can stay and learn them"

The young girl's smile was bright as the sun "Thanks Aunt Vivi, and you're right, they'll be back and Crocodile will lose" she says, hugging the bluenette who pulls her close, praying she was right this once.

 _In the sky_

Kaos grunts as he adjusts his grip, Pell continuing to rise until Alubarna looked like a model and his Mirror Wall reformed into something more akin to a basin than a cage, his knuckles resting on the back of his neck

"This a safe distance from the Capital?" he asks, smiling slightly when the bird nods "Good, now you can leave now"

Pell's eyes widen "You're insane! Even I can't drop safely faster than that dead weight. Hell the drop could set the damn thing off" then winces when he feels the reflect human shift above him as well as feel his knees against the back of his head

"Given how little time we have left there's little chance it would get that far" he deadpans "Just drop when I leave, this is actually the best chance you have to survive this"

 **Shimmer**

Using his only high speed technique to augment the distance, Kaos jumps off Pell's back, the man diving the first chance he got

' _Really hope I timed this right'_ he thinks as silver spreads over his form, then shoving the bomb away and letting himself fall

 **KABOOM!**

 _The clock tower_

Vivi and Artemis watch as the sky lights up, windows shattering from the shockwave as well as all clouds practically vaporising in the blast, people getting tossed around even on the ground level it was a miracle neither were hurt, physically.

' _Bastard, how could you do this to her? How could you do this for me Pell?'_ Vivi thinks as she grits her teeth and clenches her fists, though the other girls' reaction was much worse…

"Papa? No, this can't be true you can't be gone, you can't, we were going to save Mama from Crocodile. **PAPA NO!** " Artemis screams and Vivi's legs buckle as she feels pressure pushing her to the ground, slowly sliding even as she grips the wall for balance. April Fools had already passed out and Vivi was about to join her when it stopped. Turning her head she saw the little red head swaying in the wind, Kaos' heavy cloak having fallen off her shoulders and her eyes hidden in the shadow of his fedora "I'm tired Aunt Vivi. I think I need a nap" she says quietly, before falling back and passing out, light snores coming from her unresponsive body, and both her and Kaos' hats on either side of her head.

' _Damn, what the fuck was that? And if she can do that, do I even want to know who her parents are?_ ' Vivi thinks, then remembers Artemis claiming Kaos as her papa, feels bad for the psycho for half a second before sighing and guessing he was the yard stick for power and sanity in this family, or at least one end of the spectrum of it. Still she moves the researcher's cloak so it covered the girl, who looked so small and innocent now she was unconscious ' _Just a little more, then you can rest too Vivi_ ' she tells herself, the bomb may be dealt with, blessed be Pell and Kaos, but the rebellion was still ongoing and Crocodile was…. somewhere. Pulling in all the anger and frustration, hopelessness and despair, Vivi began to scream her lungs out, praying someone would hear her before she ran out of energy, or people to listen.

 _On the ground_

"STOP FIGHTING! PLEASE STOP! YOU NEED TO STOP FIGHTING!" over and over practically on repeat, but with everything else going on only the Straw Hats and the few marines near the clock tower could even hear the bluenette tear her heart out is desperation to stop this conflict

"This is heartbreaking" Valentina says with tears held in her eyes (something Kaya, Usopp and Nami failed to do), watching the royals and rebels tear each other apart almost mindlessly, like zombies shuffling to their final end

Alvida growls and slams her mace into a wall "Fuck this, I don't care how, but we're going to stop the fighting and in doing so, stop Vivi's crying. Now get to work!"

Half jokingly Victor and Zoro salute "Yes Ma'am" before the group (Minus a critically injured Usopp and their medical team) rush into the crowd, no real goal in mind beyond taking as many of these fools out of the fight as possible. Seeing as they really didn't have anything else Tashigi ordered any marines within range to follow their lead, with one stipulation (as she felt it needed to be said and assumed pirates didn't care)

"Try to subdue not kill, only if necessary. The exception is anyone wearing Baroque Works gear as they're the cause of this incident, take out with extreme prejudice, like Lucina level violence" she orders as she slams the flat of the blade into the throat of one of the rebels

 _Meanwhile underground_

Laughter isn't a reaction usually associated with being told of your imminent demise, but Cobra still was sitting there watching Crocodile laugh in his face

"I'm sorry, really I am" the man apologises once he was calmer "It's just that just like your daughter this plan would have worked for almost anyone, if Nico Robin wasn't already bleeding out this would probably end her, but you both forgot something important, I'm a logia, this won't kill me, mildly inconvenience while I shift into sand and escape but not even hurt me really. You've thrown your life away for nothing your highness" He surveys the room, Nico Robin dying, Cobra defeated, and once the bomb goes off the country will lay at his feet, then laughs once more, everything was coming up Crocodile.

Which makes it fun to inform you of what happens precisely 10 seconds later, besides Crocodile just barely refraining from shitting himself (I'm kidding, this is Croc we're talking about not Buggy or Moria), a visibly angry, panting Luffy crashes through the wall, not even yelling his name anymore.

' _How? I drained him like a mummy, and I know Nico Robin didn't play a hand in this as she left before I did with Cobra. Why is this kid unable to die?'_ Crocodile thinks in fear before it's swallowed up by anger "So you're still around" he says, trying to sound unimpressed

"You're not going any further, cause I'm going to beat you" Luffy says, a lot flatter than before, but also more serious

"What is your problem, I kill you, several times now and you keep coming back, I guess I'll have to test the old saying that 3rd times the charm, seeing as you're too stupid to take this as a chance to get away" he growls "What drives you, what makes you keep coming back over and over again despite how thoroughly I destroy you. Well boy?"

"I want you to return something, until then I'm not done with you"

Crocodile chuckles "And what is it you want back, I've taken a lot from this place: money, power, trust, lives, rain, the list goes on, so you'll need to be a tad more specific Straw Hat"

"This land, you'll be giving it back and then I'll be through with you"

"Oh you stupid child, why would I give back this country when I'm about to become it's next king?"

"Because I came to this island to help Vivi save her country, but it was gone because you stole it. I'm going to make you give it back no matter the cost!" Luffy declares, then throws the first punch… by kicking Crocodile in the face, throwing the arrogant logia into the opposite wall

' _Ah fuck, that wasn't haki, so how did that kid hit me?'_ Crocodile wonders as he gets up, well tries to as Luffy's fist gets to him first. When he does get up he smirks just a little "Now I see, you found another way to exploit my defect, you used your own blood"

"Yep, the sand just needs to be wet, doesn't matter what. I could probably piss on you… but that's weird even for Nami (cause she has all that rope and seemed eager to tie Luffy up) so I'll stick to blood thank you very much. Looks like the damage you've dealt me up to now is kicking you in the balls eh Crocodile?"

"First Rainbase, then the palace, and now here in this underground tomb. You really seem determined to fight me despite everything I've done to you so far" he chuckles as he removes the gold shell from his hook, a purple liquid dripping from the holes in the weapon "You're a pirate, nobody I know is that stubborn otherwise, so I'll just have to unleash everything and make sure this fight ends like a true pirate duel, and this time I'm going to rip that head from your shoulders when I'm done, to make sure nothing will be able to bring you back (That's step 1, what about 2 through 10?)"

"So what's that supposed to be"

"A poison hook, which will ensure this end will be the most painful and unpleasant of the 3 you'll receive from me" Crocodile explains "Between pirates nothing is underhanded or below the belt. Now seeing as the explosion in the square will most likely turn this place to dust along with it, this will be the last time we brawl"

And so the two began to duke it out, neither quite managing to land a hit on the other, only a couple nicks from the very tip of Crocodile's hook on Luffy's arms and legs. Both pant as this hand been a long day from them, Crocodile unleashing his strongest moves and Luffy having to actually pull through all the damage his 2 other fights with the warlord caused. The closest calls had been an aborted **Gum Gum Pistol** , which would have been caught and drained by Crocodile, and a slash of his hook, which misses Luffy but melted a good portion of the boulder in the process. Neither seemed to even care about the tomb literally crumbling around them, too focuses on killing/beating the crap out of their opponent.

"I don't know why you continue to fight, especially now my poison has entered your wounds" Crocodile hums, dodging a gattling and smiling as Luffy sways "You're fighting for the princess, but that's not why you're out here it's just a side mission, what makes you tick, what brought you to the Grand Line boy? Why are you here?"

"We're here because Vivi doesn't want people to die, though she's the first person to risk her neck or put her own life on the line for others. If we hadn't have come, she'd be dead by now"

Crocodile grunts "Exactly, so ditch the girl, she's become quite the anchor around your neck"

"That's what you don't understand, NONE OF US WANT VIVI TO DIE! She's our friend, she's nakama, you risk your own lives to make sure you all come out of it alive and that's exactly what we're doing right now. Vivi wants her country back I'm going to give it to her"

"You stupid boy, you can't save her and once the time bomb goes off there won't be anything left to mourn, not that you'd be around to do it"

Cobra gasps "Time bomb?"

"Yes, call it insurance, I had a feeling those idiots I left with the bomb may be insufficient to deal with this brat's crew, mostly because it contains several turncoats of the organisation, so I made sure it will explode no matter what and there's no way or how to defuse this timer, in fact even attempting to will set if off early. Their entire attempt to end the rebellion was a waste of time; all it did was give them all front row seats to the detonation. Your friends all died pointlessly; do you understand me Straw Hat?"

 **KABOOM!**

"And there it is, the time of the Nefetari family has ended, long live the dynasty of Crocodile. The men of this world never lose; to think a little girl and a stupid boy could beat me is even more laughable. You're the last one left, Straw Hat Luffy, I'll make this quick, now sit back and think of Hell!" he yells as he jumps forward, seeing if putting the hook through his head instead of his gut would work this time. It didn't work as Luffy manages to evade the strike as well as catch the bulb of the hook with his foot and slam it into the floor, shattering Crocodile's poison hook

"You won't beat me, for I have a dream I will never give up on, once I beat you, we'll finish up here then we'll get right back to it, and one day I WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES!" Luffy shouts as he punches Crocodile in the gut, kicks him in the side of the head and as he's sent flying slams him face first into the ground.

' _How is this kid still alive, the scorpion venom should be working by now, he should be as worthless as he looked in his poster'_ Crocodile thinks as he reveals his final weapon in his hook, a knife "You're just some brat from who the fuck cares, I won't be beaten by some hick! Do you have any idea who I am?"

Luffy stops him dead "I don't care who you are, I just know I'm going to beat you" then in a mirror of his Hammer technique punts Crocodile into the ceiling.

 **Sables Fulgarite**

Crocodile's sand blade released a bolt of static electricity, decimating the area below him, but Luffy tanked it like a boss. He then inflates himself and twists, using the air to shot him up after the warlord to deal with him once and for all

 **Desert La Spada**

 **Gum Gum Rifle**

Even with his sand compressed into the closet approximation of actual sandstone blades, they still dispersed as Luffy's fist flew right through it and found it's mark dead centre of Crocodile's face, throwing the Sand Man through the roof and back into Alubarna (I have no idea how the geography of this place works, the entrance looks pretty far but Luffy shoots Crocodile out pretty close to the centre of town) levelling any buildings directly above them at the time (Eh they were doomed anyway once the tomb stopped collapsing)

 _With the other straw hats_

"Hey guys, look at that!" Sanji shouts, much like everyone else apparently missing the ground opening up a few seconds ago, but did managed to catch Crocodile floating in the air "Is that?"

"Crocodile!"

"That means Luffy won, who else could beat that bastard?"

"I knew he'd win, never doubted him for a second"

"Don't lie to us Usopp, we saw your tears"

"Fine"

' _Luffy, you did it, you actually bloody well did it'_ Vivi thinks, her lips twitching, trying to rise into a D grin, but it hurt too much "STOP FIGHTING, THE ENEMY HAS BEEN DEFEATED YOU DON'T NEED TO SHEAD ANY MORE BLOOD" she wails between sobs

 _ **Drip**_

"Koza?" One of the rebels ask in concern, seeing his commander and friend hit the ground… again

"Did you not feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"The rain, it has returned" As he says that it happens, after 3 long years the rain finally begins to fall on Alabasta once more [Yes it's in the capital, where rain apparently still happened. Not important, these people haven't seen or felt rain in years, it's a good distraction as well as something to calm them even a little] "The rebellion, is over!" he declares.

With the men all free of madness and distraction, as well as calmer, they finally heard Vivi's desperate screams for them to stop and put down their weapons.

It was this stop, that proceeded Crocodile slamming back to earth with a thud, on his neck (I'd say good thing he's a logia, but he's all wet so that probably hurt, like a lot)

 _In the tomb_

' _It's finally over, the end is near'_ Robin thinks as she leans against the wall to the ruins. Now was as good a time as any to go, the boy was safe thanks to the antidote she tossed Cobra and she had nothing left to keep fighting for, especially not like this

 _ **Drip drip drip**_

"Rain, after 4 years even the island weeps for her people" Robin chuckles to herself as her eyes close

And then it stops

' _Is this it, the next life?_ ' Robin wonders but knows it can't be, she could still hear the rain even if for some reason it wasn't falling on her any more, plus if this was the underworld/afterlife she shouldn't have retained her injuries and also wouldn't feel like she'd taken a nap on broken glass, her shoulder blades and back of her knees most of all.

Given she wasn't going to get any answers lying here like a lump Robin forces her eyes open. Her first sight was a jade green umbrella (Who the fuck brings an umbrella to a desert?), large enough to protect both her and her new companion from the current downpour that was another surprise, that she was being carried bridal style through the royal catacombs towards the Poneglyph. A sense of dread filled her core when bloodshot eyes followed the symbols in the correct direction to read, which practically doubled when he ran his fingers along certain sections

"So close yet so far away. Fu fu fu" he wheezes painfully, blood leaking from cracks in his skin, Robin almost believing he had given up except for 2 things marked with his bloodied fingers

 **Goa**

 **Fuschia**

A violent cough caused blood to drip down the side of his mouth, as well as spray some onto Robin's stomach

"Why? Why help me?"

He chuckles, giving her a broken smile "It's not your time yet my dear. Now, seeing as neither of us are up for the quick and stupid way, I guess we'll be taking the long way back" he says, carrying her through the crumbling tomb with visible swaying back and forth, Robin worries he'll either collapse before they reach the end, or be crushed by the falling rubble, except the rumbling was ending and the place was calming down. Maybe she was getting out of this alive, once more saved from damnation….

By a **'D'**

TBC

LW: It's finally done, Crocodile has been vanquished and Alabasta can recover.

One other thing, between this and the last chapter, I found out about some information Oda revealed, mostly the names and bounties of most of the Baroque Works agents. I'm not going to change them now they have cannon names, but I will put them here just to inform, only the important ones, aka the ones I've actually done anything with of course.

Victor – Gem of the Border, 24, Bounty: 10 million

Valentina – 'Courier' Mikita, 22, Bounty 7.5 million

Artemis – Marianne 'Flag bearer of freedom' 16 during Alabasta (That's right, she's older than Rebecca, Shirohoshi and possibly Pudding and only a year younger than Luffy. Makes the papa thing a little creepy given it's only a 3 year gap, luckily she's not that age in this series) Bounty of 29 million, though whether that's during Alabasta or after all the shit she pulled behind the scenes after is unknown, most likely her current bounty after the breakouts she helped do.


	41. Recovery of a nation and crew

LW: 11 chapters. I think it's time we said goodbye to the desert, don't you?

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Recovery of a nation and crew

 _The Palace of Alubarna_

Finding the others was easier than expected, but given mind and body can work separately it was less a surprise and more good fortune on his part, Kaos smiled slightly as he was let through by the royal guards and walked with a sway towards the largest collection of the crew

"There you are, you idiot!" Kaos looks down and sees an angry Chopper pointing at him "Don't try denying it, Vivi and Artemis told me what you did. You really are as big an idiot as Luffy aren't you?" Kaos chuckles only to violently cough. He tried wipe it away but Chopper noticed first "You're bleeding and limping? Come on, I need to get you checked out pronto" the zoan then begins pulling Kaos towards the infirmary by his long limbs, mumbling about _'stupid stubborn humans'_ under his breath

"So how's Luffy by the way?"

"Still out of it, Crocodile did a lot to him but our captain gave as good as he got, better even given he won"

"I heard he finally got to use Rifle in a combat situation" he chuckles, sitting down at the reindeer insistence "You know my fruit makes normal tests kind of pointless…"

Chopper sighs as he runs his hooves across the spider webbed cracks on his hands and forearms, grimacing as some of them went all the way through his arm "I know, but I still have to try, you're part of the crew I can't just ignore you"

Kaos smiles painfully "You're the nicest doctor I've ever met Chopper, don't ever change"

"You think I care about the opinion of some crazy human?" Chopper yells again, but given the flattered look and the swaying he did care

"What did I miss?"

"The bomb blew up, Luffy punched Crocodile into the sky, it started to rain, we all tried make a break for it only to run into Cobra, Mr. 8 returned and explained what happened over in Nanohana, oh and get this, once everything was over and done with **THEN** the marines showed up and arrested Crocodile, can you believe that?" Valentina asks as she explains, here as a set of extra hands more than anything else given she was one of the least injured of the entire crew

The purplette sighs deeply "I can actually, Crocodile is one of them, even if they don't like to admit it, so they can't be seen arresting one of their own without irrefutable proof, such as the King himself telling them how Crocodile tried to kill him and blow up the entire town"

"Still, it's been a long day, maybe say hi to Artemis, Vivi and the others, tell them you're not dead or something then go to sleep, Doctor's orders" Chopper tells him, Kaos nods and stands, Valentina slipping in beside him when he sways.

"Got it Doctor Chopper"

It took 3 people to stop Artemis tackle hugging her papa when she saw him in the doorway, mostly because the people still awake could see how badly damaged their 1st mate was, even though he was still alive and technically doing better than Luffy, who was still unconscious. The ones who didn't react at all were Vivi and Alvida, both sitting by the rubber boy's bedside silently, their fingers threaded with his own.

"He's going to be fine"

The bluenette snorts "You took a bomb to the face, of course you'd say that" she sighs "Father says the poison should be neutralised, that he'll recover and be right as rain, but…"

"Until he wakes up those are just comforting words from a father who doesn't want to see his daughter heartbroken" Kaos finishes, to which both women nod. Running a hand through his hair (causing Sanji to shiver when he sees the crack running across his right temple) Kaos sighs before collapsing onto the nearest unoccupied bed, Artemis snuggling in beside him, now aware she had to be careful for the moment "In that case I might as well stay here, wouldn't want to miss my brother's triumphant return" he lies back and his eyes flick shut, breath evening into sleep within seconds

"We all need the break" Zoro mutters, but smiles when he sees Artemis finally relax and sleep herself, the girl had been stressing herself into a frenzy since Vivi brought her down from the clock tower this afternoon, and while they understood completely it still wasn't healthy.

 _The next day – Marine Vessel_

 _ **Puru puru puru**_

"This is marine headquarters, we wish to speak to Captain Smoker"

The smoke man sighs around his cigars before taking the call "Yes"

"Good job subduing Crocodile and dealing with Baroque Works, as compensation the World Government has promotions and medals being prepared for yourself, Sergeant Major Tashigi and Captain Nylock Lucina" the snail explains, a smug grin on it's face

Hina looked amused while both Bluenettes clearly weren't in a celebratory mood right now (Tashigi currently sniffling in the corner while Lucina was glaring at anyone who even looked at her wrong), Smoker just growled " _Idiots._ Subduing, that was the Straw Hats, seriously why have us write reports if you aren't going to read them?"

"Further more, it's been decided you will all be getting a rank increase…." The man on the other end continued to blather on, but it was clear the people on this end weren't listening

"You stupid clerk, I already told you it wasn't us, I wasn't even in Alubarna at the damn time it was those Straw Hat pirates…." He stops when he feels Hina's hand on his shoulder

"You're wasting your breath, it's clear the entire incident is going to get covered up, the World Government isn't going to want people to know pirates not under their control did something good, including taking down one of their Dogs of War. The scandal could rock the stability of the world to it's core, and given we have enough problems with the Revolutionary army popping up to jam the gears every so often, something like this would only make it worse" Hina explains, though she knew it was pointless given how stubborn her old friend was

"Hey, any chance you can pass on a message to the guys upstairs?" Smoker asks, his teeth clenched as he'd removed his cigars

"Smoker, don't you dare" Lucina warns, having seen a similar expression on a former friend turned enemy

"Tell them to go Fuck themselves!"

 _Click_

"Well, now you've gone and done it" Tashigi whimpers

"It was kind of nice knowing you Smoker" Lucina chimes in

 _Back in Alubarna, some time later_

Luffy yawns as he sits up "That was a nice nap, I wonder when breakfast is" he brings his hand to his head and freezes when his treasure wasn't there "Where's my hat?" then his stomach growls "Where's breakfast? Hat! Food! Hat! Food!"

"Well, good to see nothing has changed in terms of priorities Luffy" Kaos chuckles, not looking up from the book he'd taken from the royal library (with Cobra's permission of course)

"Oh hey Kaos, have you seen my hat?"

"It's right here Luffy" Alvida chuckles, placing the hat on his head and watching his entire face light up with a smile

"Thanks Alvida, I know you guys kept it safe for me"

Vivi smiles from her own chair "It's good to see you back with us Luffy, and allow me to be the first to congratulate you on beating Crocodile"

"And now we know the baseline recovery time for defeating a War Lord"

Luffy raises an eyebrow "Hm?"

"You were unconscious, practically in a coma for the last 3 days" Kaya explains "Chopper and I have been treating you along with the others this whole time"

"WHAT!" Luffy yells, then is silent for a minute "I missed 15 meals"

Nami face palms "Why am I not surprised you can do math real easy when food is involved?"

"He still miscounted, that's 5 meals a day" Ussop argues

"Breakfast, 2nd breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Supper. Yep 5" Luffy lists off almost automatically, though before anyone can comment the doors open

"I see the captain is awake, dinner will be served shortly but hopefully this should keep you all satisfied until then"

"Hey the curly haired guy is still alive" Luffy cheers, he liked Igaram, he looked funny

"So you are a cross dresser" Zoro mumbles, getting a light slap to the head from Vivi

"No Zoro, this is Terracotta, Igaram's wife and head of the palace servers" she explains

"It's the hair, that's what makes the comparison easy" Kaos suggests, as they know it might be hard even for Vivi to know which is which when viewed from behind.

"Anyway, I heard your Captain has a big apatite so I brought up something to keep you topped up till dinner" she says as 3 trays are brought in, and devoured by Luffy in not even as many seconds

"I'm going to eat about 3 days worth of food" Luffy states plainly, to which Terracotta chuckles

"Oh a challenge, this should be fun. Also you have my thanks for what you did for Vivi, my husband and my country in general" she says before leaving the room once more

The banquet that followed went about as well as expected, everyone being both impressed and horrified by the amount of food Luffy could pack away, and the newer members learnt something very important: protect your food. Luffy's rubber arms snatched food from every plate on the table, even those being used by the rest of the team as well as Cobra and Vivi, though unlike the guards the 2 royals were actually amused by the rubber boy's enthusiasm, as was Terracotta and Igaram, one for giving her something to do, and the other because the bottomless stomach was ensuring his wife did what she loved.

"I'm a little surprised we haven't been thrown out yet" Kaos deadpans, currently pinning Luffy's left hand to the table with his reflect armoured fingers, chewing on some of the lobster his captain had just failed to steal

Vivi chuckles "The feast is in your honour, why throw you out when we should be letting you act normal"

"She has a point" Alvida chimes in, tearing into the beef in front of her "We saved their country, if they have a problem with how we celebrate all they need to do is look away"

"How are you so thin when you eat like that?" Valentina asks, looking up from her seafood and noodles

"Devil Fruit" she answers automatically, causing both Kaos and Luffy to snort, the latter chocking on a bone until Nami punches him in the head

"At least it's never boring on this crew eh Chopper?" Kaya smiles, her salad safe from Luffy even if she does need to keep her chicken and shrimp out of sight of their captain

"Never" the reindeer grins back

"We need more booze" Zoro announces

"You always say that" Sanji argues

"He's not wrong this time" Nami and Kaos respond, then blink and chuckle to one another, while the servers refill the 3 of their cups

Of course it wouldn't be a Straw Hat party if everyone wasn't laughing and having fun by the end of it, even the Chakka and the guards were all pulled into the fun energy of the loveable pirate crew.

 _Not long after_

"This is nice" Kaos sighs in contentment, even in a desert climate the royal baths was as opulent as anywhere else in the world. Even if half the crew were Devil Fruit users the water was more calming then draining

"Hey your majesty, where are the girls bathing at the moment?" Sanji asks with a grin, causing a few of the group to sigh (and one to grit his teeth)

"You idiot, there's no way he'd tell you where you can peek on his own dau…" Zoro scoffs

"It's just over this wall" the king announces helpfully to everyone's shock, even pointing to it for extra assistance.

"Cobra!" Igaram gasps, too shocked to even refer to the king by his proper title

 _Speaking of the other side_

"After so long in the desert it's good to soak" Nami moans as she lies back on the water, getting nods from Kaya and Valentina

"Very true, that dry air was testing the limits of my Devil fruit it was so bad" Alvida grumbles, adjusting her bikini top as she gets off her seat

Vivi smiles to her friends "It's the least we can do after what you all did for this kingdom, Our freedom is worth so much more than food and a bath"

"We have visitors" Artemis deadpans, only the top half of her blue and green one-piece visible above the floater she was using, bobbing beside a half asleep Carue (yes Carue is a girl in this universe, I didn't mess up earlier it was intentional)

Looking over to the wall the girls caught 6 pairs of eyes looking over at them

Nami sighs "Damn perverts! I'm charging you next time" she growls, flashing the boys and causing most to collapse in geysers of blood

"Bye papa" Artemis waves as the last pair crinkle in an eye-smile before sinking below the wall

"Hey Nami, looks like your tits weren't big enough for Kaos' tastes" Alvida teases, causing Valentina to cackle and Kaya to blush while the ginger tries to tackle the older woman, her lunge leading her to sliding off her as would be expected

"OR he could have been checking up on his kid, rather than perving on us, using the time the others were looking so as to not get teased" Vivi ever the optimist suggests, as well as wanting to believe the only other unattached male with an inkling of sexuality was less of a pervert than the other, not that she hated Sanji, just that he was draining in large doses.

Artemis shrugs as she climbs onto Carue's back, the duck quacks but doesn't mind the passenger that much "He can do both, Papa seemed like the kind who can multitask. I wasn't trying to draw attention to myself and 3 of you aren't exactly objects of modesty, so he probably got a good eyeful in the process"

"I don't know any guys who can multitask, though if anyone could sleep and eat at the same time, it would probably be our captain" Valentina suggests, getting laughs from they girl, while on the other side Kaos makes sure nobody has died of blood loss from seeing Nami's naked breasts.

 _A little later (Sorry about the complete lack of a time frame)_

"You wanted to see me your majesty?" Kaos asks in confusion as was let into Cobra's room

"Yes. It's about Straw Hat Luffy. He's done so much for my country and need to find a way to repay the amount he deserves. As his brother I hoped that you would be able to help"

The 1st mate frowns "I'm sorry, Luffy isn't like most people and he won't look at it like this was something more than helping a friend, I doubt he'd even see flying our flag under yours for what it is… the lad is a bit dim at times" he jokes a little "Your daughter may have a better idea as the only person with both Luffy experience and a knowledge of what this country could actually provide. For example, despite being Nami's opening offer, I doubt you have 1 billion beri lying around"

Cobra nods while scratching his chin "Yes, Vivi did come to mind but I needed a more neutral opinion on the matter"

A shiver passes down the reflect human's spine as he realises where this conversation was heading "Before this goes any further, I recommend using this"

" A den den mushi number?"

"3 actually, though given the skull I drew beside the bottom one I don't recommend calling that one except as a last resort, Jiji shouldn't be allowed make his opinion known on matters like this, much like Luffy he thinks subtlety is for other people" he sighs, on the one hand glad he wasn't actually related to the crazy bastard, but on the other, he was still the only grandfather he had and loved the idiot all the same.

"I'll keep that in mind" Cobra replies with a sweatdrop before dismissing the purplette "Igaram, bring me a Den Den, this need to be dealt with tonight!"

 _With the entire crew, after Kaos returns to them_

"You ho Straw Hats" the familiar high pitch of Bon Clay escape the Den Den Mushi "I'm calling to give you the good news. I got your ship"

"WHAT!"

"Give us back our ship, you tip toeing bastard" Luffy yells, shaking the Den Den until Kaos takes it from him

"Luffy knock it off, all you're doing is annoy the snail"

" I'm in the north quadrant of the Sandoro River. Come right away, if you know your ship you should have no trouble finding it"

Nami frowns "It's a trap"

"Not exactly, but I couldn't pilot the ship alone, so my crew ARE here with me. Ta ta my friends, Bentham is waiting for you"

 _Click_

"So, can we trust him?" Kaya asks

"Well we did become friends before finding out her was Mr. 2" Luffy suggests

"And while annoyingly flamboyant, he wasn't a bad person back in Baroque Works" Victor adds

"The one person who would never stab you in the back, might kick you in the face but still the closest you could get to trustworthy in that group" Valentina continues

"I say we go" Artemis chimes in

"Yeah…. Wait, so you're guys?" Ussop asks

"Mama said I could go, can I stay with the Straw Hats Papa?" Artemis gives a puppy pout, alternating the target between Kaos and Luffy

"She has permission… ah what the hell, welcome to the crew full time Artemis. Straw Hat artist" Luffy announces, getting a jumping hug from the girl

"Thanks Uncle Luffy" Artemis cheers, while the captain looks to the others

"What about you, our arrangement is done and Crocodile is defeated. Will you stay or will you go?"

The former 5s look to one another, seeming to have a silent conversation, before nodding "We'll take the positions if they're still open"

"Awesome, I got a demolition expert and a chocolatier. Well, we best get moving so we can steal Merry back from Bon Clay"

"You got it Boss" Zoro nods as he stands up, as well as Vivi

"Take the Duck Squad, most of you know just how fast they are so you also know it's the quickest way to get from here to there before the marines even know you're gone" she suggests, getting a hug from Luffy

"Thanks Vivi, we'll be seeing you" he ruffles her hair before directing the others to move.

A little while later Igaram rushes intoVivi's room, carrying 7 bounties with him "Princess, where are your friends?"

"Gone" she replies flatly, Carue sitting beside her as she stares out the window

"I need to warn them, their bounties have been increased. Marine Headquarters will be gunning for them even harder than before"

Vivi smiles as she turns "It doesn't matter, not really. They'd actually be happy to hear they got higher bounties. Who did by the way?" Igaram hands her the papers and walks back out "Wow, that's more than Crocodile, by a lot. Hm, wonder if that's his first bounty? Oh my, I didn't know she already had one" Carue nods to each reaction over the princess' shoulder, wishing their friends had stayed long enough to see this _'This makes things so much harder, I'm going to need all the time to work through my decision'_ Vivi thinks, biting her lip and running her hand through Carue's feathers.

 _At the ship_

"Hey babies, miss little old me?" Bon Clay asks, posing by the Crow's Nest

"Not in the slightest" Kaos answers as the 4 (himself, Zoro, Victor and Alvida) of them start loading the ship, smirking as the dancer falls anime style and nearly falls onto the deck on his head

"Hey ballerina weirdo, why'd you steal our ship?" Luffy asks angrily, arms crossed and glaring

"You idiot, what do you think would have happened if I had left the ship where it was?"

"The marines would probably have seized it, and we'd be either stuck in Alabasta, or be forced to steal it back" Nami answers, completely ignoring the idea of getting a new ship from Cobra, as it would have put the Alabasta royals in a difficult position, much worse than even their current one.

"Change that probably to a definitely, I believe they arrived just as I left, missed me by a duck. They really don't like you, thumbing your nose at their marines, defeating their warlord and doing their jobs better than they could. They want you all captured or dead and probably want to burn your ship down right in front of you just for kicks. So as a good friend, I saved your ship, so you can leave without trouble, see" Bon Clay explains, getting nods from the crew listening and a wide grin from Luffy

"That was really nice of you Bon Clay, I forgive you for being part of Crocodile's gang, we can be friends again"

"Yay!" Bon Clay, Ussop, Chopper and Luffy all hug, until Nami slaps them all on the head

"We're in a hurry, like this moron said we have the marines on our tail, most likely combing every inch looking for us"

"I guess this is goodbye my friends, may we meet again in the future" Bon Clay bows before jumping off the side of the boat, landing on the deck of his own ship completely fine "Oh and just so you know, I left you a little gift as a sign of our friendship, it's surprise but I'm sure you'll like it :D" the ballerina cheers as the ship leaves.

"You heard Nami, get moving!" Kaos yells, Nami grinning as she moves to the helm and sees everyone where they're supposed to be

 _The morning_

"Shit! Fuck!"

"Damn marines, stop shooting pointy things, I can only deflect cannon balls" Luffy complains as the Merry is repeatedly skewered

"Guess they really don't want us leaving, either that or they've upgraded and are using us as target practice" Kaos guesses, helping Ussop and Victor move cannons into place "Well what do we have here?"

"If we take any more iron spears to the Hull we're done for, the ship can't take much more" Sanji shouts, just as another volley peppers the 2 ships

"They have us trapped, firing from all sides and no matter what we do they won't change formation" Zoro grumbles, then looks up when there is a whistling sound followed by a loud explosion "What was that?"

"Ahem" Kaos coughs "Who ordered the bazooka?" he asks, holding the tan coloured launcher over his shoulder "Because this wasn't on board when we left"

Bon Clay pouts from his ship "I was hoping to be gone before you found my gift, but given what we're dealing with maybe it's best we use it now"

"I doesn't look like it did much beyond pissing them off though" Alvida says with gritted teeth, like most of the crew she was a melee user, meaning she was useless in a battle like this, can't they try boarding or at least get close enough for them to try boarding the marine ships?

"Hey Usopp, put those sniping skills to use and hit something with this, I'm pretty sure I missed" Kaos sighs and throws the weapon to the long nose, nearly knocking him off the ship in the process but he survived.

"Aim for the ship with the hypnotist on it" Luffy orders, being able to hear the weirdo even from this distance

"On it captain!"

 **Boom!**

"Well you've earned my respect for the week" Valentina teases, though she was clearly impressed that not only did Usopp's attack take out Jango and Fullbody's ship, but it also caused it to collide and take out the ship it was next to in it's formation.

"And now we have an escape angle, my long nosed friend you've just saved our bacon" Bon Clay cheers, then frowns when one of his crew run over with news "We need to move it, move it, move it! 'Black Cage' Hina is here, she's a marine captain and not someone you want to mess with" he yells over to the Straw Hats

"We can't go that way, you go on we'll figure something out" Luffy waves, a smile on his face but his eyes were serious

"What? Why aren't you taking an escape when it's presented to you?"

This time Nami responds "We have an appointment to keep, noon at the eastern harbour, if we go that way we'll never make it in time, or else risk getting caught in another formation like that trying to circle around"

Bon Clay frowns "What could be so important you won't save yourselves, is there so kind of treasure waiting for you that you didn't tell me about? A reward for what you did for the kingdom?"

Ignoring Nami's muttered _'I wish'_ Luffy answers "We're going to get a friend, and hopefully make her stay as a nakama" this time the smile reaches his eyes, as he flashes a full D grin, causing the former Mr. 2 to freeze

' _All this for a friend?'_ he thinks _'Such selfless people'_ tears well in his eyes as he turns to his crew

"Risking their lives for a friend, if we abandon them now, could we live with ourselves tomorrow?"

"No Mr Bon Clay!" Several shout frantically

"Then let's do what we do best, help our friends, in the most beautiful way" he winks, and even with tears streaming down his face has his usual flair and energy.

"I have a bad feeling about this" Artemis says as they watch Bon Clay's ship trundle away

"We just have to hope the Mr Bon Clay has a plan I guess" Kaya attempts to comfort the girl, who shrugs then smiles sadly as the marines begin to close in on the ballerina's vessel

"1 track minds are good for something it seems" Kaos hums in slight amusement "They've left the east path wide open" the pipe clenched in his teeth release a small puff of white smoke

Luffy frowns before sighing and turning to Nami "Set course for the harbour, we shouldn't waste the opening Bentham gave us" the ginger nods and Valentina gets them moving again.

"At least the okama is putting up a good fight" Alvida says with a slight smile, seeing both the Swan ship and the nutters that are it's crew were getting in some good hits on the marines and their ships

"Just cause he's a weirdo doesn't mean he wasn't strong Alvida-chan" Sanji replies, bowing his head to the dancer, he then raises it and smirks "You'd think this crew would have taught you that"

"Guys! They're on us again" Usopp screams from the crows nest and god damn it he was telling the truth for a change

"Damn them. Victor, can you fire those air bomb things from the cannon?" Luffy asks

The bomb man shrugs "I can try, a cannon isn't meant to hold air in that way though so it could be a dud"

"Just do it!" there is a bang as one of the ships manages to get close enough to slam into the side of the Merry "Who wanted a fair fight again?" he asks, though also raises his hand along side Zoro, Alvida, Sanji and Kaos. Nami gulps and bolts the door to the steering bar shut, locking herself and Valentina inside and ensuring the ship remained on course. Luckily they were regular marines, Hina and her ship nowhere near them, meaning compared to everything else they'd done since entering the Grand Line, it was remarkably easy to sink the 3 marine ships that were attacking them.

 _A little later_

"She's not here, you know it as well as I do, who would give up their lives as a royal to be a pirate?" Sanji complains, going through his third cigarette since they got there, but Luffy continues to frown at the shore

"No, Vivi is here, I know it" he states, and as Captain there wasn't really anything they could do to go against him, meaning they stayed until he finally gave up.

"You know, right now would be a good time for Vivi to have a Devil fruit, maybe something cool like a logia" Artemis says as she tries to read her father's notes over his shoulder

"No, logia's are difficult to trace, a paramecia would be good, both due to how common they are and because they don't have issues like logia or even zoans do" Kaos argues, the artist pouts before shrugging and going to bother Chopper _'I wonder if she thinks she's being stealthy'_ he thinks, then sighs and looks over to the land much like Luffy

"Guys, there are more marines on our tail, if Vivi doesn't show up soon we're going to have to cut our losses and book it!" Usopp yells down, and as they say, speak of the devil….

"Guys!" All heads turn, smiles bloom and even Usopp stops panicking for a second

"Vivi!" everyone cheers, seeing the bluenette and her duck on one of the rocky outcrops on the edge of the shore "You made it!"

Luffy bounces onto the side of the ship "So, made your choice yet?"

Vivi smiles, even as her eyes sparkle with tears "I spent a lot of time thinking, even spoke to my father and Igaram, and I realised I needed to follow my destiny" this sentence had more than a few of the Straw Hats lose their smiles, not Luffy though, in fact his got bigger as the princess climbed onto Carue's back "My home will always be the sands of Alabasta, but my journey with you has shown me, that my heart was calling for the ocean. I will be a Straw Hat, if you'll have me, _**my captain**_ " there was an odd tone to those last 2 words, making Kaos and Nami smirk while Sanji felt the urge to crawl into a corner and weep.

"Of course Vivi, there's always room for you" Luffy laughs as he throws his arms back, stretching them out so they were long enough to shoot forward and wrap around girl and duck then yank them onto the ship, Carue screaming right until she collides head first with Luffy, knocking them all onto the deck. We got our crew mate back, set sail for the next island!" Luffy orders from under several pounds of duck and princess, mostly duck as Vivi had gotten out of the dog pile as quickly as she was able to, Carue more annoyed about the grabbing and flying so was sitting on his chest glaring at him.

"Carue up, no disrespecting the captain"

 _ **Quack**_

"She says, 'only if I'm not being used as fish bait ever again' is that okay Luffy?" Chopper translates and asks, to which Luffy grins and scratches Carue on the back of her head

"That's fine, you're nakama now, I wouldn't purposefully put any of you in danger" he says happily, Carue nods and gets up, giving Chopper a close enough to a hug as she could, which had the reindeer wriggling around in embarrassment again.

Vivi then stops and reaches into her dress "I almost forgot, Igaram gave me these. It seems that even though they're covering up your involvement in ending the Civil War, the marines still upped your bounties in response to what happened in Alubarna"

"Seems like the bullshit they'd do" Zoro grumbles, then smiles as he's joined the ranks of Luffy and Kaos to have a bounty, solely as a Straw Hat (As in Alvida and the BW crew all had prior bounties in canon)

' _ **Straw Hat'**_ **Luffy: 110 million**

' _ **Mirror Master'**_ **Kaos: 50 million**

' _ **Pirate Hunter'**_ **Zoro: 60 million**

' _ **Iron Mace'**_ **Alvida: 12 million**

' _ **Courier'**_ **Valentina: 10 million**

' _ **Bomberman'**_ **Victor: 18 million**

' _ **Artist of Death'**_ **Goldenweek: 7 million**

"Holy shit!" Nami yells, then proceeds to try slap every wanted idiot on the crew "Look what you've all done now"

"Hey, why did your bounty go up Kaos, you didn't even do anything?" Sanji complains

"Most likely for collateral damage, the bomb I was carrying broke some windows and stuff, can't tell people I saved the town from being vaporised and all that so instead I get blamed for what did happen" Kaos says with a bored tone, until Artemis slaps her Wanted Poster on his face

"Papa look, I got a bounty, like you and Mama!" she says with a wide grin

"Why do I get the feeling your mother is going to kill me?" he asks with a groan

"Cause you're the smart one, like how Uncle Luffy is the Luffy one, and Uncle Zoro is the sleepy one" Artemis explains

"I'm pretty sure Luffy isn't an adjective" Usopp whispers to Vivi, having come down from the crows nest

"Leave her be, you know the captain is quite indescribable, his name is good enough" Nami chuckles

 **BOOM!**

"Oh yeah, marines, wait how are they gaining on us?" Vivi asks

"Don't know, Usopp, you're the shipwright of this ship, go fix the hull before we sink!" the thief yells, causing the sniper to run, their medic following along with Alvida and Chopper, well he did, until falling over a large pile of metal spikes

"When did this get here?" he asks, confused and a little annoyed, getting attacked by marines 3 times in one day is very stressful

"Oh that, Usopp said to hang onto them when we pulled them out of the sides of the Merry, said they might be useful" Artemis explains

Zoro sighs "Well they're the reason we're slowing down and the marines are catching up"

Luffy looks to Kaos who raises an eyebrow before smirking "We can handle them" the captain says as his 1st mate stands

The marines didn't know what hit them, one minute they were closing in on the Straw Hats, the next their ships resembled a pin cushion as several volleys of iron lances skewered them

"Is it weird I missed these crazy feats of strength in the 4 days it's been since anything bad happened?" Vivi asks, Carue and Chopper both try to take her temperature, while Luffy laughs, having made it a game for himself, Kaos and Zoro to see how many spears they could throw and how much damage they could do to the vessels.

 _On Smoker's ship_

"Glad to see you're up Tashigi" Smoker greets as he reads the paper shirtless, hey it's his ship he can do what he likes, plus he rarely has time for fun so watching the bluenette try not to stare will do for now as he pours her a drink

"Thank you sir." She nods and takes the seat beside him, spotting the bounties "Quite a rise, for all of them, especially Roronoa"

Smoker nods "Well, he did take down ' _Murderer'_ Daz Bones… with your help" he smirks around his cigar, impressed the girl had learnt to cut steel (albeit unreliably for the moment) while in Alabasta, as well as be able to work with the man she seemed so confused by, to deal with the real threat "You did good out there Tashigi, prevented a crisis and everything"

"Hopefully enough to deal with the swordsman when we next find the Straw Hats" Tashigi nearly jumps when she hears Lucina beside her, having not heard the woman approach "But he is correct, and you do deserve the promotion" she smiles as Smoker grunts, while her fellow bluenette blushes

"Thank you Miss Nylock"

"Anytime, so long as you earn it"

 _Back with the Straw Hats_

"Good news, it seems the marines have stopped following us" Zoro calls, taking lookout duties as Usopp was still busy repairing the lower deck

"Probably helps Luffy took a leaf out of Gramps book and toss their ammunition back at them" Kaos says, laughing by himself simply due to lack of information on the other's part.

"Looks like we're finally out of the woods, and onto the next step of the journey"

"Sure are" Luffy answers with a grin…. Then stops _'Wait, that's not a crewmate, but she does sound familiar'_ his brain begins to try process, but even he knows it's easier to just turn around to see the source of the speech "Hey, you're back on the ship" he yells, drawing the others attention to the woman standing in the doorway

"This is a lot nicer than I'd expected it to, sorry I didn't mention that last time I was here" Robin says with a lazy smile

"Miss All Sunday!" Vivi yells, falling out of her chair

"Here to finish the job Crocodile started?" Nami hisses angrily, almost all the crew pulling out readying weapons

Robin rolls her eyes and blooms hands to disarm the Straw Hats "Must we really do this again? To think these are the people to beat a War Lord"

"How long have you been on the ship?" Vivi asks, her fingers itching to go for another slasher

"Since you/we left Alabasta" Robin and Kaos answer

"You knew?"

The purplette grins and taps his skull "Devil Fruit detector, or close enough Sesese" he laughs

"STOP" Luffy commands, surprising everyone with the force, as well as the order itself "Robin is why I'm still alive, she had an antidote to Crocodile's poison hook"

"Mama, you saved the Captain? Awesome!" Artemis gushes with stars in her eyes, giving the others the answer to a question none thought to ask the strange artist

"Explains the protectiveness" Valentina mumbles, though still loud enough Vivi and Victor agreed, even they noticed Miss All Sunday had been invested in Goldenweek's condition and health, including breaking the arms and balls of a billion who tried get handsy with her. She'd then snapped his neck but those parts tended to stick out as more important in retellings.

"Hey Mama, I got a bounty poster, I'm just like you now" she grins and Robin smiles, her entire demeanour appearing lighter even for just a moment

"You can show me later sweetie, is that alright?" she asks and Artemis nods, looking pleased with herself. "Now you" Robin points to Kaos who blinks "Back in the catacombs you did something serious, borderline unforgivable to me, and it's time to take responsibility for your actions"

' _Wait, that wasn't a dream?'_

"What he do?"

"Wow, Shimmer works fast"

"Tall, Dark and Creepy got laid?"

"You bastard better not have laid a hand on this goddess!"

"Mama no!" Artemis cries as she leaps at Robin, practically head butting her in the tit before being manoeuvred to sit in her lap "Don't hurt Papa, he hasn't done anything bad"

A hand blooms and slips the hat from her head so Robin could run her fingers through the artist's hair "Fufufu, don't worry Artemis, though whether he did nothing wrong is a matter of perspective really. He saved my life in the Royal Tomb" Robin explains, a few crewmates gasp and Artemis quickly spins around to see her papa

"Is it true? Did you really save Mama like you said you would?" the red head's eyes sparkle like jewels, getting even brighter when he smirks and nods "Thank you Papa, you're the best" she cheers, then turns back and hugs Robin tightly

"As I was saying, given you're taken my life into your hands, I should probably stick around so you don't think I'm wasting your generosity" Robin's tone and smirk was teasing, but her eyes were unsure, clearly in unfamiliar waters here

"Wait a minute, you're inviting yourself onto our crew?" Alvida asks, equal parts confused and annoyed

"Of course, my daughter is already a full member of your crew, and how else is Kaos supposed to take responsibility if I'm not here?" Robin asks, as if it was obvious

"It's not that simple, you can't just walk onto a pirate ship and say…." Nami begins but gets interrupted

"She can stay" Luffy states, causing Artemis to give a good imitation of a **D**. grin, Robin to smirk and Kaos to once more laugh his ass off

"WHAT!"

 _5 minutes later_

Luffy and Chopper laugh as they watch Robin's blooms wriggle in front of them, meanwhile Usopp tries to intimidate her, or at least make her uncomfortable

"What do you do?"

"I'm an archaeologist by trade, but I do have certain other skills I've picked up over the years, mostly killing, it's actually almost fun these day. I've learnt to be quite good at rub outs, and pay lip service easily in order to survive and get what I want" she smirks as the boy goes bright red, not helped by the extra grinning mouth on her palm "You know, as last tests go this is pitifully easy, at least the girl required a bribe" Robin complains, Zoro and Vivi sigh as like Robin said all it took was a bag of gems and their navigator was Team Robin, it also annoyed them that Alvida, Victor and Valentina weren't even trying to help them get Robin off the ship, at least they knew ahead of time Sanji would be a pushover, Robin does have the biggest set of boobs he or any of the others had ever seen "I'm guessing you're a late substitution, given the usual guy is already on my side" she smiles and her eyes wander to Kaos and Kaya, who were designated as the ones to ' _watch the kids_ ', here meaning Luffy, Chopper and Artemis.

"That's not the point, you still need to pass the Usopp test!" the sniper yells, until he gets called by Luffy

"Chopper" the captain cheers, Robin's hands forming little antlers on his hat, causing Usopp to laugh and ease up on the archaeologist.

"Guess it's just you and me Zoro" Vivi says, frowning as those were REALLY poor odds

"Can you both give it a rest already?" Alvida groans, pinching the bridge of her nose "It's simple really, Luffy's the captain, he chooses who says and who goes, in case you don't know princess, with the exception of Kaos, everyone before me didn't want to come along at the start, but they're still here"

Kaos chuckles as he joins the conversation "You don't have to like our newest crew mate, there are times we all hate Sanji or Nami after all" Zoro nods even if he looks unhappy to do so "but unless she actually does something to warrant being booted off the ship there's no point dragging your feet"

"Warrant? She tried to destroy my kingdom!"

"She also lead you to Crocodile, tried stab him in the back, didn't tell him where Pluton as despite knowing the location, oh and saved the captain's life" Vivi grits her teeth but remains silent, he wasn't saying get along with her, just stop being a bitch about the new addition "Oh and Zoro, if I'm wrong, I won't be apologising on the tip of my sword, though you'll be the one explaining to Artemis why you're throwing her mom off the ship" he slips past and heads to his quarters, returning with the crews Den Den Mushi.

 _A little later (again)_

"I didn't know the Den Den's were speakers too" Nami says in surprise as Cobra's speech boomed from the snail, Vivi had been worried how he would handle her absence even though he said that he'd be fine

"Got the gear in Alubarna before we left, just finished installing it in time for the speech" Kaos replies, smiling as the others listened in

"… now I know you're all curious as to the location of our princess, my lovely daughter Vivi. After risking her life trying to return this country to order and find the cause of the turmoil, my precious girl deserves her rest, which is why she's gone off travelling the world with her betrothed, Alabasta's Hero, Sir Monkey!"

The king's statement caused several spit takes and WTF from the crew of the Going Merry, Kaos being the notable exception as due to having a feeling this could happen was instead laughing his ass off

"I can't be a hero, heroes have to share the meat"

"Sir Monkey?"

"That dim witted bastard got himself a betrothed"

"It's nothing official of course…"

"Actually" Vivi interrupts, looking a little embarrassed and tapping her index fingers together "Father mentioned he would be considering it but he also said that he'd discuss it with Luffy first, which he clearly didn't"

"Okay" Luffy nods, then turns to his grinning first mate/ brother "Hey Kaos, a captain can marry people, right?" he asks, surprising everyone

"Not if they're the one getting married Lu" Kaos chuckles before Luffy does something which shocks even him, stretching out his arms, one removes Kaos' fedora while the other places his Straw hat on the purplette's head

"There, until further notice, you are the Captain of the Straw Hat pirates"

"Luffy" Kaos warns, before sighing and reaching for his notebook, at least for the illusion of knowing what he was doing

"Wait a minute!" Alvida interrupts "Are we not even going to discuss whether or not Little Miss Princess is worthy of the Captain, the future Pirate King?"

Vivi chuckles "Alvida, how about we skip some heated words and actions we'll regret later and you just allow me to offer you the position of consort"

Alvida blushes "I'd say I'm quite flatter….. Hold it, isn't consort noble speak for WHORE!?" she yells angrily [May have borrowed that idea from Measure Each Step to Infinity, can't remember 100%. It's a good fic by the way, if any of my readers like Azutara]

The bluenette chuckles as she loops her arms with the smooth woman's "That's concubine, at least in Alabasta it is, consort is like a marriage, in fact there's little difference on paper. Off hand the only thing I can think of that differs is your children will not be in line for the throne of Alabasta, or more accurately only Luffy's kids that I have will be considered royals of Alabsta." she clicks her tongue then shrugs, drawing a blank as rubber arms wrap around the duo and pull them to Luffy"

"It's settled. Kaos, do the thing!"

"Luffy you can't be serious"

"That shitty captain getting himself 2 girlfriends" Sanji grumbles

"Actually 2 wives" Zoro corrects just to see the cook spiral further into depression, actually allowing Robin to high 5 him his mood was so good right now

Kaos looks at Luffy's blank grin and groans "Luffy, are you sure about this, you don't need to jump straight into marriage"

"No, Vivi deserves an answer, not me avoiding the question" Luffy responds seriously, everyone blinks at the statement, then look confused. The rubber boy takes a deep, calming breath before explaining "We're pirates, we could die at any time. Because of that I don't see the point in waiting around. Do I care about Vivi and Alvida? Yes. Am I in love with them? I don't know, I've never felt non-familial love before. Does the idea of being joined with these 2 lovely ladies make me giddy? Yes, and that's good enough for me" the girls awe as Vivi and Alvida kiss his cheeks, causing him to steam

Kaos chuckles then ruffles the girls hair playfully, sidestepping a swipe from Alvida as he does "Welcome to the family then girls, nice to have someone else to keep Luffy out of trouble" he laughs as a look of fear flashes across their faces ""Well, time to begin"

"Wait don't you need rings and a lot of other things for this to be official?"

"Like the idiot would know the first thing about marriage, or a wedding" Sanji grumbles, his jealousy obvious even without having to look in his direction

Luffy nods "Next island we pass you can get any rings you want" he says, causing Vivi to chuckle

"Actually, as the princess, I'll be following tradition and wearing the royal ring as tradition dictates, to show the princess or Queen is spoken for"

"I still think you deserve an actual ring, especially when it sound like we're being married twice each" Luffy argues

"Fine, but we'll worry about that when we get to it, okay?" Luffy nods

"Kaos, get to it like I said!"

The current captain sighs, but after arranging everyone properly he begins

"We gather here under Rao so that he may bless this union between Nefetari Vivi, Monkey D. Luffy and Alvida. Does anyone have any issues?" he asks, glad Zoro and Valentina had pre-emptively tackled Sanji so he couldn't do anything "Great. Now Vivi, are you sure you want to marry Luffy? I can't give you any better offers, but I still have to ask" ignoring Sanji's _'I'll marry you Vivi-Swan'_ which was silenced by the gag unknowingly donated by (aka stolen from) Nami.

Vivi chuckles "Luffy is the one for me"

"And Alvida?" he asks, getting a smile from the bluenette

"I can see the 3 of us making a good life for ourselves out on the sea"

Kaos nods then turns "Alvida, what about you?"

The smooth woman smiles "Luffy is the only man I've ever loved, I've made that fact clear before, and dear little Vivi has grown on me and found a place in my heart. Much like the sand princess I can see a long and messy future ahead of us, but one we'll get through together, plus me and Luffy need a voice of reason every once in a while" she jokes at the end

Luffy nods "If we're nominating someone for voice of reason, I'd say Nami except she is easily distracted by money and like to hit people OW" Luffy whines, rubbing his head "See?"

Kaos chuckles and nods his head, but otherwise ignores Luffy's addition "Messy I also see, it's the long part we're going to need to work on, though like you said together is key. Now Luffy, are you sure you want to tie the knot with Vivi and Alvida? It's a simple question that doesn't always mean a simple answer"

"I want these girls and they want me as well as each other, sometimes simple answers are also the ones that make the most sense" Luffy says, pulling the girls closer who smile and kiss his cheeks again "Besides, what's a King without his Queens?" the D grin was infectious.

"Hey, hey control yourselves ladies" Kaos scolds, though his smirk refuses to leave his face "Anyway, as captain I deem this union legitimate, you may now kiss the brides and groom" he says, then along side Zoro and Robin rather enjoyed the reaction, or more the amount of blood the left Sanji's nose when Alvida pulled Vivi into a very tongue heavy make out session, though it may have been the fact the princess took the kiss as an opportunity to cope a feel of the smooth woman's impressive rack, something which Luffy was laughing about along side them.

"Well if that's over, we'd best be on our way, don't want the honeymoon to take place in marine headquarters now do we?" Robin teases, snapping most out of their trance and getting things back to working over the ship

"Kaos, may I borrow the Den Den to inform my father of my change of status?" Vivi asks once the others had left

"Sure, not like I'm using it or anything" he replies

"Thanks. Also thank you for officiating the ceremony; you clearly put a lot of work into it"

"How'd you know?" he asks with a raised eyebrow

"Rao, bringer of life and watcher of the land. Very few islands still honour those kinds of traditions like that and fewer the sun. Clearly you found something to do with your unrestricted access to the Royal Library"

"Such as how to open an Alabastan wedding ceremony?" Kaos finishes "I thought you'd appreciate the gesture given the only other thing from Alabasta on the ship is Carue"

Vivi nods, her eyes misty "Thank you"

Kaos smiles and ruffles her hair again "Anything for my little sister, now go tell your dad the news so he can do whatever nobles do when their kids elope with pirates" he shoos her away, chuckling when he hears the muttered response _'Even though I'm a pirate, I'm still a fucking Dragon!'_ then makes his way to the figurehead, where Luffy was sitting, after which he proceeds to jam the straw hat back onto his head "Tag, you're it"

Luffy turns and grins at him "Don't mind if I do"

TBC

LW: Well that's Alabasta officially over, I think.

I'm sure somebody will notice this chapter is longer than most, and this time I don't think it's because I used content from 4 episodes rather than my usual 3, it's all the other random crap including a freaking wedding that did it.

Just want to say, nothing I could have written would have been as good as the Vivi's goodbye scene, which makes me very glad I'd planned to have her come along from the very start :D

So, I don't think I do romance well, and Luffy is known for being dim, so betrothal seemed a good way to get that ball rolling, and yes it has always been planned for Luffy to get with Vivi and Alvida

If anyone is going to ask about the age gap, Alvida is 25, (yeah, younger than Robin, who is 28 at this point in the story), and Vivi is 16 (didn't know that, also it makes her the same age as canon Goldenweek, which makes it both weird and funny she called her Aunt Vivi in previous chapters), so nothing major. I got these ages from the wiki in case anyone's wondering.

 **End of Arc Bounty Tally**

Luffy: 110,000,000 beri

Kaos: 50,000,000 beri

Zoro: 60,000,000 beri

Nami,Ussop,Kaya,Sanji: 0 beri

Alvida: 12,000,000

Valentina: 10,000,000 beri

Victor: 18,000,000 beri

Artemis: 7,000,000 beri

Vivi and Carue: 0 beri

[Robin: 79 million. Not part of official tally yet]

Straw Hat Crew: 267,000,000 beri

Which in the real world would be…. 2,096,897.85 euro.


	42. Dead End Adventure, LW Edition

LW: Well here we go, I don't know if I'll do the other movies as I'm not sure about canon and timelines (okay they're all non-canon but I mean physically possible to occur, eg. when does Film Gold happen with all the shit they've done back to back in the New World?). Anyway this is maybe a 2 parter or else a really long 1 part saga, so good luck and I hope you enjoy.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Dead End, LW edition

 _1 day since the last chapter ended_

"Hey Usopp, what ya doing?" Kaos asks, curious as to why their sniper was hidden away in the ship, even if this area was his unofficial workshop.

The long nose stops what he was doing and turns "Oh, hi Kaos, just working on some equipment for our newest recruit. After seeing Nami's climatact Vivi asked me to make her something just as good" he sighs "the problem is, Nami's weapon is still a Bo staff, it just as some bells and whistles on it. I'm not sure how to improve Vivi's slashers, other than trying to strengthen her threads and sharpen her jewels"

The researcher hums to himself, picking up something off the table "This is monofilament wire, correct?" he asks, already tangling his fingers in a cat's cradle, not that you could tell unless you really tried.

"Yeah, it's how she can hide the weapon in her clothes without anyone noticing, the stuff is practically invisible"

Kaos nods "Then maybe what you need to do, is instead of making the blades sharper or the wires stronger…" he pulls, the wires drawing blood wherever they crossed his skin, digging into the flesh until he activated his reflect armour "…you give her a weapon that can't be seen, until it's too late" he smirks while Usopp panics

"What the fuck? Seriously, with Alubarna and now this I'm really starting to worry. Are you trying to hurt yourself?" the long nose asks and Kaos chuckles

"Relax, this was the safer option, I know how much pressure I'm using because I can feel it and know where to stop, if I did it on you or someone else, there is always the chance I misjudge my own strength and you lose a finger, or the entire hand" he spreads his arms, the wire snapping like thread against his armour "So me dripping blood on you table is a much better option than crippling our best ranged fighter" he looks down at his hands and grimaces, Usopp was right about one thing (though the lad was too busy having a panic attack imagining Kaos doing that to his hands), Chopper was going to be mad he hurt himself again so soon. He then noticed the sniper snapped out of his panic attack…. By another panic attack (O_O?)

BARK

The purplette's eyebrow rises "We have a dog?" he asks, Usopp running past him onto the deck. Up top Robin was giggling to herself while Artemis cuddled the large and slightly dopey looking animal, looking content to just lie there beside the artist. It seemed Usopp wasn't the only one acting weird though as Alvida, Victor, Valentina and Chopper all ran out when they heard the bark, the others followed due to curiosity as well as the fact the new thing was drawing the crowd

"When did we pick up the stray?" Nami asks, reaching to pet it only for Chopper to slap her hand away "Hey, what was that for?"

"That dog, it's Mr.4's gun, it ate the Dog Dog fruit, model: Dachshund" Victor explains, as expected those who weren't there for the fight with the 4's had a very simple question

"How does a gun eat a fruit?"

"Does it poop?"

Okay everyone else had the obvious question, Luffy wanted to know just how alive the gun-dog was. Artemis also had a different question

"Lasoo is so well behaved and he can fight… sort of, can we keep him Uncle Luffy, please?" she gives a puppy pout while Lasoo moves off her lap and sits at Alvida's feet

Bark, bark, bark

"Please mistress, I'll be good, I'll even help you slay all your enemies, just let me stay" Chopper translates, seems the dog was animal enough for that to work

The heavy hitter clicks her tongue and turns to Luffy who shrugs "It's you he asked, should we keep him?"

"Can you alter your payload, or are they always going to be timed baseballs?"

Bark

"I can make them whatever you need"

The brothers grin, and both Nami and Vivi worry "Have something in mind love?" Luffy asks

"Actually yes, a 2 stage detonator for one" Alvida answers

"What's that going to do?" Zoro asks, not understanding the point of Alvida's alteration

"So it explodes the 2nd time it hits something, or something hits it" Valentina's eyes widen then she laughs

"Kya kya kya, oh my god you plan to pitch those things at the enemy don't you? Luffy must be rubbing off on you" she chuckles

"So it's settled, we're keeping it?" the captain asks again, getting a nod from the smooth woman "Okay, welcome to the crew Lasoo" Luffy grins

Bark

"Thanks, I'm going to sleep now" Chopper translates, Lasoo shivering before turning into the bazooka they're seen previously

"So **THAT** was Mr. 2's gift" Vivi says, rubbing her eyes, but still laughing at the okama's parting gift.

"Bon gave us a pet bazooka, such a nice friend"

 _A few days later_

"So first we hit this storm then nearly get blown up by marines, this is not our best day! Valentina complains as her and Nami keep the Merry on course

"Relax, they can't get a clear shot in this weather and by the time it calms enough for them to steady themselves we'll be long gone" the navigator replies "Besides, we're nearly at the island, we can restock the ship and by the time we're ready to go the marines will have found some other idiot to chase"

"Or they'll wait around and try get us on the way out, or simply land and arrest us while on it" Kaya adds, cleaning her guns to try settle her nerves

"You're making me look happy, you're not supposed to make the panicked person look happy" Valentina whines, only stopping when they all hear Usopp's 'Land Ho!'

"See, now we can relax and cool off, no marines or crazy Grand Line shenanigans, just one day of less crazy" Nami says with a sigh

 _Hannabal Island, a little later_

"I'm surprised we haven't been thrown out yet" Kaos muses, watching the plates pile up along with the volume of Luffy's fight with most of the crew for their food

"It's a pirate bar, they're used to this level of stupid, thank you Sanji" Robin replies, taking the coffee from their returning cook, before swatting Luffy's wandering hand from Artemis' plate, it seemed only Vivi was safe from their captain's reach and that was because Alvida seemed to find the entire mid meal fighting amusing and quite fun, even if her mace was too big to help keep her partners away from her food, though she did take as much as she lost.

"You're welcome Robin-chan" the blond says with a charismatic smile before turning to Nami "How's the money situation looking Nami-swan?"

The red head sighs "Not good, we have enough to stock up, even with Luffy, Alvida and Kaos stomachs, and pay for this meal of course, but once we do, there won't be many beri in the treasury when we set sail again"

Zoro frowns "Well that's a problem, anyone got any plans for quick cash, besides letting the witch do her thing and turn tricks on a street cor…" the swordsman chokes, a hand gripping his throat hard enough to cut off his airway

"There is a child at the table" Vivi scolds, mostly because the hand's owner is too busy glaring at the idiot and blooming hands to cover Artemis' ears

"Is it about Aunt Vivi being a stripper, because she can't do that anymore now she's Uncle Luffy's? she asks, a little louder due to the impromptu earmuffs

"Where did you hear that?" Chopper asks, confused but also curious

"I remember what Miss Wednesday used to wear, was she not posing as a stripper mama?" Artemis turns and looks at Robin, who sighs and releases her grip, ruffling Artemis hair with her actual hand

"No sweetie, Aunt Vivi was never a stripper"

"Don't worry about it Artemis, we thought the same when we first met Vivi too, but she was in disguise" Luffy explains, surprising a few that he was actually following the conversation

"You okay there Nami, you look like you zoned out?" Victor asks now Robin stopped trying to kill Zoro and they could all breath again

The navigator hums "I'm fine, though my money senses are tingling"

"If they're anything like Kaos' Devil fruit senses we might just leave this island with more money than we arrived" Valentina jokes, the purplette smiles and nods, now interested in what they were going to do about their funding issue, also glad Zoro decided to antagonise Nami as usual rather than direct the suggestion Robin's way, as none of them would have been able to react quick enough to help him with that mistake.

Massaging his throat and coughing Zoro turns and smirks to the red head "So, did you see what I saw, well before I started seeing spots of course"

Nami grins widely "Oh yes. Kids, I sense an adventure, that a way" she points behind her, Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and Artemis smiling and now bouncing around happily

"They're going to be like that all night at this rate" Alvida chuckles before draining her tankard "So, are we moving now Captain?"

"You betcha, lead the way Nami, to money and adventure!"

So with a little bit of chatting up the bartender and showing they were serious and not that worried about potential loss of life (Luffy actually looked excited, both Nami and Vivi smacked him for that) the man finally gave in, showing them to a secret tunnel where the chance of a lifetime lay just beyond. He was tight lipped about details, something which annoyed everyone but Chopper and Luffy, who was grinning dopily and being held back by Kaos and Zoro to stop him running down the tunnel before they were even finished being warned at. Other than the creepy weirdo at the end the tunnel was boring and managed to simmer Luffy down enough he was just grinning rather than nearly bouncing off the walls.

"Whoa! Look at all the pirate flags!" Luffy cheers and he wasn't wrong, the massive chamber was full of both pirates and flags, everyone happy and carefree, but Nami's money senses were also making her a wee bit paranoid

"I see us losing more money" she grumbles, waving her hand in the direction of the bar "But nowhere to make money"

"You could try right here love" one of the scruffier looking pirates says, leering at the navigator before getting kicked in the face by Sanji

"Maybe we should move, before he wakes up or his friends see us" Usopp suggests, getting nods from most of the others

"This place seems familiar, give me a minute it'll come back to me" Robin hums as she leans over the side, eyes scanning the entire area. Her eyes widen and she laughs "Of course, the race"

"Race?"

The archaeologist nods "It was quite a few years back, I was here with another pirate crew. This is the starting line, of the Dead End Race, a race created by pirates, for pirates, no holds bared, everything goes. Quite a large prize if I'm not mistaken" she clicks her tongue, resting her chin in her hand as Nami's eyes turn to berri

"Prize? How much, I NEED TO KNOW WOMAN!"

"300,000,000 berri" the answer was supplied not by Robin, but Kaya, pointing to a banner stating this year's reward for completing the Dead End Race

"We're doing this race" Nami announces, getting cheers from Luffy and Chopper and a smirk from Kaos, having known the minute she heard the amount their navigator would lock them in to this decision.

Signing up was easy, though apparently they entered the island wrong and nearly gave the man taking their details a heart attack due to how blatant and obvious they were parking in plain view. Still they were registered and now have an Eternal Pose to Partia, the finish line for this year. After that the group split a little, some of the crew remaining near the entrance where it was peaceful, while Luffy and the louder of the crew followed him down for more food, especially as it was free.

"This is nice, all the food we could eat, and a race in the morning" Luffy cheers, continuing to stuff his face while he does, things were pretty good, almost calm, until he started his usual food stealing habit on a much larger crowd, grabbing the food basically the moment it left the kitchen. This stopped when his head was slammed into the table, splitting it in 2, by some weirdo in a yellow jumpsuit. Apparently that was he signal for everyone to get a shot at the straw hat boy

"You think you can just steal our food without consequence, do you know who we are?"

"No"

"We're Gasparde's crew" some guy with short pink hair answers

"Gasparde…. Nope never heard of him. He must be a really shitty pirate then, shi shi shi" Luffy laughs

' _God damn it Luffy'_ Zoro and Valentina think, both face palming at their dumbass of a captain, as well as a little impressed he can cause some much of a mess without consciously trying.

"You little shit, think you can disrespect US!" the man yells, shooting Luffy point blank in the chest

"Well, that happened" for once he sounded unenthused, tilting his head just as the bullet rebounds, putting a hole in the wall behind the crowd "Yeah bullets don't work on me, perks of being a rubber man" at this he smiles, then takes his shot

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

The attack slams 5 guys into the wall, which was at least enough to make the others think before trying to attack him

"Anyone forget how strong Luffy is?" Chopper asks

"Because of how much of a dumbass he acts when not kicking ass? Yes, all the time" Valentina answers as she stands up, her captain and the guy who broke their table having turned the lower level into a bar brawl, might as well enjoy herself, even if the idiot had left them here.

Kaos sighs, head in hands as he grumbles "I am seeing that right?" the others turn due to confusion and understand: Luffy riding a chain just behind a mob of very angry looking pirates

"Luffy, what are you doing?" Nami asks, praying she was wrong

"Nothing, just having a fight, I didn't start it though, the guy who shot me did"

Robin smiles "Well at least there's that, small mercies and all" she teases, pulling Kaos hand off his face, while Artemis chuckles

"You and Alvida didn't kill anyone down there, did you?" Vivi asks in worry, not helped by Luffy's shrug as he rises

"Don't know, probably not" he answers, swinging around to avoid the falling pirates, before hopping onto the ship dangling from the roof "That was fun, you're really light on your feet and bouncy, it was fun to watch you fight"

The man, who had wavy light brown hair and a hook tattoo under her eye smiles "I'm glad I was able to amuse you, not often I meet a man with 30 million on his head"

' _30? Guess he didn't get the memo'_ Luffy thinks, before smiling at the intent behind the comment "You clearly know my name, so what's yours?"

"Me? Why it's…" he begins but gets interrupted by the pink guy from before, looking mighty pissed

"Don't think you'll get away with this just cause you've got 30 million, our boss is way bigger with 95 million" he boasts

"Nice, even more than Crocodile" Luffy yells ' _But less than_ _ **me**_ _'_ he mentally grins

"Take this seriously you brat" pinkie shouts, swinging at Luffy, missing and cutting the string holding the boat up

' _Well fuck'_

Thinking quickly Luffy wraps his arms around both men and jumps, luckily managing to land on the tier directly below the boat which now hangs from one side only

"That was close" Luffy sighs

"You saved us both, strange"

Luffy shrugs "Just felt like it" then turns when he feels eyes boring into the back of his head "Huh?"

Pinkie shrieks "Gasparde, what are you doing here?"

"Do I need your permission to leave the ship?" the blond man with a weird shaped head grunts

"No General Gasparde, it's just a surprise given you said you'd be drinking alone on deck"

Gasparde hums "I don't know you"

"Of course you do, I'm…"

"No, a member of my crew wouldn't have this much trouble dealing with a no name pirate" he waves his hand, his first mate tossing the man over the railing "You're a brat, but you've done well for yourself, join my crew"

"No" Luffy answers almost before Gasparde finished the question "I don't bow to trash"

The man grits his teeth and moves to stand…

 _Ping, ping_

Only for his hands to be pinned to the seat, one by an arrow, and the other by a white lance

"Yah aha, for someone who has been to a few of these, I guess you didn't get the memo, or it's a not a thing anymore and Aunt Grima was here before the rule change: no killing the competition _before_ the race" Luffy turns to the speaker, seeing a man not much taller than him, short blue hair and a wide grin, an ornate captain's coat with a 6 eyed design he was sure Robin or Kaos would recognise but went right over his head and a deep blue shirt with black pants. On either side were a woman with snow white hair, purple eyes and a chest that was almost but not quite competition for Robin in size, dressed in a dark green corset like shirt and shorts along with thigh high boots, a compound bow in her left hand, and a rail thin man with messy bone white hair, iridescent blue eyes and a laid back, almost bored expression, dressed in a blue shirt and a black jacket with furry edges that reminded Luffy of Smoker

Gasparde winces as Needless pulls the projectiles out of his hands, then steps back so his captain could stand "Do you know who I…"

"Do you know who I am brat?" the bluenette hisses "Let me tell you, because it seems the General is just a big fish in a small pond. Nylock Morgan, Captain of the Smile Pirates, current bounty 270,000,000. 95 doesn't mean shit, though 100 in less than a year does impress me Straw Hat, I expect great things from you" as Gasparde moves to attack Morgan unsheathes an inch of his sword, enough for both captains to see the shimmering black edge of his blade "You were a marine, I'm sure you know what this means. The world is a LOT bigger than you think it is Candyman, your bravado doesn't impress a New World Pirate"

"You think you can order me around!" Garpade shouts, only for the woman to shoot another arrow, this one in his knee, while the man produces a white blade from… who knows, nicking the side of his first mate's throat before he can go for his claws.

"Yes I do. Save it for the race" Morgan answers, still smiling before his subordinates relax with a wave of his hand

"I presume you're going to say he's not worth killing" the woman thinks aloud, to which Morgan laughs

"No sweet Noire, I just don't want to break the rule I just told him not to, he has till tomorrow to get his affairs in order, that is all" the man beside him chuckles then stops when he sees the man beside Luffy

"Well, didn't expect the pirate executioner to be at one of these, the race really does attract all kinds eh boss?"

Morgan nods "Shuraiya, I won't repeat myself, whoever you're here to kill can wait till tomorrow"

Luffy looks positively giddy as he bounces over "You guys are so cool, who are you?" he asks

"I already told you my name, this is my navigator, Nocturne Noire, and my first mate Comic Century"

"Yo" Century waves which Luffy returns

"Pleasure to see a D. in real life, also I saw your girlfriend tearing her way through a good portion of the idiots still on the ground floor"

Luffy raises an eyebrow "That's not my girlfriend that's my wife"

Morgan blinks "You're married to the blond? Or the one with the mace?"

"The one with the mace and the light blue haired one, Alvida and Vivi. I think Valentine's with Bomberman, but I never thought to ask and I doubt it matters" Luffy answers to which Noire chuckles

"Oh it must be interesting on your ship kid"

"Actually yes, though keeping it from falling apart is a chore and a half, just ask Nami and Usopp"

"Kaos!" Luffy cheers, seeing the reflect human along with Robin, Sanji, Vivi, Nami and Artemis walking towards him "Come meet my new friends, they're so cool!"

"You have the Devil's Child on your crew, interesting" Century notes, getting a jab to the ribs by Noire's bony elbow

"Oh sweet goddess of the snow, allow me to prove my love to a beauty such a…" Sanji's usual routine is interrupted when Century produces blades with a twist of his wrists and lock them in an X/Scissor shape against the blond's throat

"The captain doesn't like people flirting with his woman, and I don't like idiots gawking at someone I see as a sister. So you keep that in mind and remember where Noire's eyes are, or next time, I take the head that's doing all the thinking Yo ho ho ho ho" Century removes the blades when he sees the cook understands, then steps back to Morgan's right side

Robin raises an eyebrow and turns to Kaos "I didn't realise that fruit was back in circulation" Kaos nods though it seems the white haired man heard them

"It was my father's, he was a good man and pirate, but an even better father. When he passed, it only seemed right to honour his legacy by being the next holder" Century answers the question in the 2's eyes

"So we have 'Smiler', 'Bone Daddy' and 'Deadshot' all in Paradise, why is that?" Kaos asks, Luffy looking curious himself

Morgan chuckles "For the race and to see if anything strong is in this side of the Grand Line, after all, your crew is mostly East Blue natives and look what you've done, we actually did pick up a nice gall with a passion for smithing the last time we passed through"

"Captain!" the bluenette turns and sees a girl with deep crimson hair, tied up in pigtails and well maintained though still light armour running up to them "We're signed up and ready to go, and Forest thought I couldn't handle a simple task Ha"

Noire smirks behind her hand "Actually the doc just couldn't be arsed doing it, as well as wanting to avoid drunken idiots flirting with them" Century corrects, causing the girl's face to drop until Morgan grips her shoulder

"Don't worry Severa, you did good plus we all know Forest's not the most social of people"

Severa giggles "It probably doesn't help I think the corset's too tight, her voice is practically a whisper most days"

"True, but I'm not going to tell my crew what to wear… actually while you're here, where are Ren and Kjelle, I was sure they were with you when we left?"

Severa shugs "Ren headed back to the ship, decided things were too loud and messy for him tonight, and Kjelle was in the middle of a drinking contest last I checked, though knowing her she's probably in the middle of that brawl on the ground floor" Noire giggles and Morgan rolls his eyes

"Sounds like her. Well it was nice meeting you Straw Hat and some of his crew, good luck with the race tomorrow, and try not die" he waves and turns to leave, the other 3 following on his heels

"So, that's a New World level Pirate" Artemis hums

"Yep, and he didn't even need to do anything to beat up Gasparde, his crew mates did it with barely any effort" Luffy praises, still grinning like a fool

"Gasparde?" Nami gasps "What did you do?"

"Nothing, just didn't accept his offered demand to join his crew. He got mad and Morgan's guys got involved. Nothing more"

"Well he's the favourite to win this year, I bet he's glad it's not a fighting tournament or else he'd be in deep trouble" Vivi says, getting nods and a few smiles from the group

"We should probably get the others and head back to the ship, nobody wants to sail hung-over" Kaya suggests, the group nod and make the trek down to the ground floor, finding Alvida, Zoro and Valentina content and eating once more at one of the few surviving tables, waving goodbye to a woman with short teal hair as they arrive

 _Morning_

"Everybody ready?" Nami yells, smiling as she gets affirmatives from the various members unrolling the sails, raising the anchor and ensuring all their equipment was secure for sailing, she then frowns as she looks down at the Eternal Pose they'd been given "It's still pointing at the mountain, why?" she thinks aloud

"Maybe we're on the wrong side" Kaya suggests "After all we are the only ship in sight"

"Maybe the others just got lost" Zoro says with a shrug

"Like Zoro"

"Bite me swirlbrow"

Robin chuckles and steps between the cook and swordsman "Boys, boy, no need to fight, we're just not at the starting line yet"

Luffy frowns "But the guy said the starting line was the town"

"True, but it's actually over there, on the mountain. All the other ships are on the other tributary rivers leading up to it"

"Up to… we're meant to go up the mountain?" Vivi yells

"Just like Reverse mountain, only smaller" Alvida summarises, worrying Nami

"But, we have a massive current for Reverse…"

"And there will be one for this, along with a strong gale, the 2 combined will get us to the top of he mountain, and with it the starting line of this years Dead End race"

"Okay then, Nami, get us to one of the mountain rivers"

The navigator pinches her nose before nodding, the sooner they get through this race, the sooner she could receive those 300,000,000 beri.

 _Aprox 2 minutes later_

"Holy shit you weren't kidding about a gale" Victor shouts as the Merry shoots forward like a bullet, into the tunnel directly in front of them, then more or less straight up the mountain

"This is almost better than Reverse Mountain" Luffy cheers, laughing as the land rushes past them… or the other way around, the ship levels out a little but continues to ascend when it reaches a village area, where many of the locals had come out to cheer them on as they passed

"This race is a really big event for them" Chopper guesses, smiling again now they weren't at risk of falling off the ship

"Well it's rather sporadic, they celebrate when it comes around" Robin explains "The race has no set time, it was lucky we arrived when we did", then braces herself as the ship begins ascending once more proper

"And now we're going straight up, it really is Reverse mountain again" Kaya sighs, lying back on the wall of the Merry's cabin, Usopp beside her

"Well it's a lot smaller, so should be over quicker" he tries comfort her

"True, except as this shows, steep climb, most likely followed by a sheer drop" Valentina adds, causing the sniper to panic and the medic to chuckle at his flailing.

They finally reach the top, everyone gasps, marvelling at the sunrise from this angle… before remembering something, the Merry can't fly

' _Damn it Luffy/Nami'_ was the collective thoughts of the crew, as gravity took hold once more and the Merry descended rapidly, it was a bit of a bumpy landing, but neither Merry nor the crew were hurt so no complaints here. And now the race could begin proper :D

"And now we begin the insanity. Victor fire both cannons" Kaos orders, the bomb man doing so with a shrug while the others were confused

"What, the hell?" Nami yells, getting as close to Kaos's face as their height difference allowed

"No rules and the Merry is a small and fragile ship, I'm merely setting off a new pre-emptive strikes" the researcher shrugs, the clicks to Lasoo "Alvida, want a little training with your new pet bazooka?"

"Is this really the time, I want to watch the race?" Luffy whines

"I meant the dog"

"Oh" Luffy blinks and Vivi turns crimson while Alvida laughs and picks up her mace

"That was more than I needed to know" Zoro sighs, then smirks when he sees Sanji crying in a corner

"So, timed explosions or 2 stage detonation?" Kaos asks as Lasoo shifts into it's hybrid form

"Stick to the timed explosions, need to work on my aim after all so as to not accidentally blow up the ship in the process"

"Yosh!"

Bark Bark Bark

 **BOOM!**

"Well, besides the one that missed you entirely and hit the ship full of old guys, I'd say you're doing pretty good" Usopp grins and gives her the thumbs up, given he was their ranged specialist that actually made feel happy to be told.

"Um guys, we have a problem" Nami points to the broken ship directly in front of them

"Can't we go around it?" Luffy asks

"What do you think we're trying to do?" Valentina and Chopper yell from the cabin

"Well, if we have to go through it, maybe another repeat from Reverse Mountain will give us the hand we require" Kaos suggests, waving his arm in Luffy's direction.

The captain frowns for a moment, trying to think before it hits him… Nami's fist to the back of his head "I've got it!" he yells, running off the front of the Merry just before it hits the ship

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

The idea works, Luffy's expanded body being the perfect buffer between their ship and the wreck, allowing them to ramp over the ship and into the air. Once the Merry left the ground, Luffy shot out his arm and grabbed the back, pulling himself back onto the main deck

"That's one problem dealt with, but we still have the landing" Sanji shouts and he was right, their ship was about to make a collision course with the ground

"I believe it's my turn to save our skins" Robin offers with a smirk and crossed arms

 **Grand Fleur**

Bloom after bloom forms and shoot from the side of the Merry and each other, forming a rudimentary arm and pulling the Going Merry back into the River (Huh, so Robin's Giant Bloom powers weren't a Time Skip ability, though refining them was)

"That was awesome, let's do it again!" Luffy grins, then gets hugged by Vivi "I'm good, no need to worry"

"Well now we're left the river the Race begins proper, the only thing we need to worry about now are the other pirates" Zoro says trying to be helpful

"Should I reload the cannons?" Victor asks, getting a nod from Usopp

"Probably best to be safe" the long nose says, moving the help their demolition expert

 _ **Bang, thump, crash**_

"What was that?" Nami asks as the door opens and Kaos comes out with a kid in his arms

"We got a stowaway, can anyone with medical experience check him, I may have kicked him a little too hard"

"You're a dick, you know that right?" the navigator huffs at him as Chopper and Kaya examine they kid

"And thanks to the brat having shitty aim I still have mine"

Luffy, Usopp and Alvida chuckle "You got shot in the dick?"

"Almost, like I said the kid luckily couldn't hit a barn from inside it"

Robin nods "It's a good thing you're so tall, the kid aiming at that level would have killed our doctor had he found her instead of you"

Kaos frowns "Thanks, I think. Wait did you say she?"

"Papa found a new kid, I'm not being replaced am I?" Artemis asks, lighting tugging on Robin's pants as she does

"Did Kaos start this relationship by kicking you unconscious?" Chopper asks, both curious and a little worried

"No, he kind of just let me use my yellow on him and we talked"

"Then no, he's not taking the new kid as his daughter, you're still his one and only" Kaya soothes verbally, while Robin's hand on her head soothes her physically

"You're all I need Artemis, besides; I've never called you a brat now have I?"

No, you've called Uncle Luffy it though"

Vivi chuckles "Well your uncle Luffy acts younger than you do sometimes" she explains

At this point the kid wakes up, groaning as they sit up "Ow, what happened?"

"You shot my brother in the dick"

"Almost, you rubber brained idiot!"

Zoro groans, this was going nowhere "Mind telling us why you're on our ship?"

"Zoro, he's weak and injured, and I don't mean what Kaos did. He needs time to res…"

"To kill you" the kid states quietly, but given they were all gathered around them everyone heard "I was trying to kill you and make some money"

Usopp nods "Well, 7 of you guys have bounties so you probably would make a fair amount" mostly joking

"That doesn't explain why you picked our ship" Nami continues

"Well we are getting popular these days" Valentina grins "The Straw Hat Pirates, so big we're Big News even in the New World circles, Kyahaha"

"No you weirdo, you're ship looked small and weak I though it would be easy to kill you" the kid retorts

"He's right about small, but you really shouldn't judge a crew by their ship" Kaos hums, while Luffy laughs, annoying the brat

"Don't laugh at me, I will kill you! And then…" he stops when a gun gets tossed into his hands, the same gun Gasparde gave him

"You want to show you're a badass, kill the captain with that gun" Robin orders "Take out _'Straw Hat'_ Luffy, a boy with 100,000,000 beris on his head"

The kid gulps but points it, Luffy not even seeming interested, and fires. As would be expected the bullet hit him, stretched the surrounding area and shot back, flying out into sea somewhere

"What are you?"

"As Robin said, Monkey D. Luffy, rubber man and future Pirate King"

The kid gasped "You ate a Devil fruit, like Captain Gasparde"

"So he's the one with the sickly sweet scent, eh it was either him or his lackey" Kaos shrugs "So, now we're done traumatising children can we talk about why you're… oh crap they passed out again" the purplette sighs "I'll put them to bed"

"Thank you Kaos-san"

"Yeah, yeah"

 _Some time later_

"Hey guys, there's a ship behind us"

"Really, but I thought we were in last place?"

"Guess they're in real last place shishishi"

 **Boom**

Luffy gets bounced back, currently holding a cannon ball in his hands "Huh, I'm getting a lot better at this"

Kaos whistles "Damn Luffy you really do have arms like Gramps"

"No, my arms are rubber, Gramps are solid muscle how else could he be The Fist?" Luffy argues, cocking his arm back before tossing the cannonball back at the other ship, tearing through its cabin

"Well, they're officially pissed at us, now what?" Artemis asks, Carue hiding behind her fearfully

"Now I kick some ass" Luffy answers, only to be held back

"Chill Captain, these riff raff aren't worth your time, give us a turn" Victor states calmly, adjusting his shades and blowing into his gun

"He's right, some of us need to de-stress and cut loose, and kicking ass is one of the most fun ways" Alvida grins, mace already on her shoulder

Vivi nods "It's almost sad having someone as strong as you beat them down"

Luffy blinks "Vivi, where are you going?"

"Onto the ship of course" the rubber boy tilts his head and turns to Kaos

"Didn't we assign her as diplomatic relations?"

"I'm still surprised you can both say and understand those words but yes"

Luffy grins "Great" he then turns to Vivi "You already have a job, finding out what the kid knows"

"But he's unconscious"

"We still need to find out why one of Gasparde's crew was on our ship" Nami adds having come out to see the commotion

"Exactly, and one of Morgan's" Kaos adds, finding this conversation more interesting than whatever Sanji and Zoro were arguing over

"Yea….wait what?" Nami retorts, though it came out as more of a strangled yelp, making Chopper, Carue and Lasoo groan and wince

Kaos sighs "Seriously, am I the only one who saw that?" he points up, drawing attention to the bird on top of the cabin. After looking at it the crew couldn't' help but agree, how did they miss a creature that looked like it had fallen into a rainbow backwards a few times over, though the strangest thing was the colours didn't follow the feathers or anything physically about the animal, as if the details were only added in after, the only exception were eyes the colour of emeralds, staring unblinking at them

"What is that?" Zoro asks

"Tosō chirashi" Kaos answers

"Dépliant peint" Robin answers

"Huh?" was the collective response, causing Robin and Kaos to sigh before translating

"Painted Flier"

The bird caws and almost looks to be smiling, before closing its eyes and sleeping

"So that is one of Morgan's crew? Kind of a lazy bird guy" Luffy mumbles, while Kaos chuckles

"It would if that were the actual crewmate, but it's not, it's a construct created from his Devil fruit, the Peinto Peinto no mi, if I'm not mistaken"

"Oh, so it's a mystery crewmate"

"Don't strain yourself Lu, worry about the bird while Victor, Queen 2 and I deal with these idiots. Zoro, you guard Queen 1 with your life, got it? Be the guard dog you were meant to be"

"How bout I bite you dartboard?" Zoro grumbles, then smiles when Vivi scratches him behind the ear

"Why is she Queen 1?" Alvida asks, frowning

"Luffy had to get with her, as they were betrothed, while you he chose to be with, though you still joined after Vivi in that sense" Sanji explains before the trio hop onto Vigaro's ship. Really between Sanji's kicks, Victor's explosions and Alvida's whack happy macing the ship didn't last longer than 2 minutes, before they had to be retrieved from the sinking mess of wood and bodies by Luffy

"See Luffy, weaklings the lot of them, nobody fun to fight" Usopp comforts their captain who sighs but nods

"I hope we run into someone strong, someone I need to fight" he huffs, before Nami smacks him on the back of the head

"You dumbass, you just jinxed us!"

"Oh…. Whoops?"

 _A couple hours later_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

' _Crap, what did Luffy do now?'_ thought several of the crew as they ran to check on their screaming navigator

"What's wrong Nami-swan?" Sanji asks, his eye burning protectively

The pose is fake; it's set for Navarone, a Marine Stronghold"

"So we're fucked?"

"Peito, peito peito, nice to see you finally noticed, I was beginning to worry, though the captain had faith the entire time" they look up to see the ' _bird_ ' speak

"This was Gasparde's doing, wasn't it?" Luffy asks, the bird nods

"Correct Straw Hat, it's why Morgan had Noire toss the pose and follow the Salamander the moment we left the island. She's had it locked in the entire race and it paid off once he broke away from the rest of the racers"

Luffy frowns "This bastard needs a good ass kicking, where do we find him? Also who am I speaking to?" Vivi face palms, while Nami looks to Kaos with a _'see what he's done'_ expression on her face.

"Just follow my bird, I call it back and it will lead you straight to us. As for my name, it's Ashton Renaissance, known as 'The Painter' simply because of my Devil Fruit, much like Century as well as Marco the Phoenix"

"When you beat him, will you save my grandpa?"

"You're awake?" Chopper squeaks, seeing the kid standing in the doorway, looking smaller than even before

"What's this about your grandfather?" Valentina asks

"He's not my real grandfather, but he saved me, he's all I have" a lot of the Straw Hats understood, their bonds to family not simply limited by blood "He's sick, but because the guys on Gasparde's ship say he's not one of them they won't give him any medicine, he'll die without it!"

"So you snuck aboard, hoping to make some money to but medicine yourself?" Nami asks, seeing a little of herself in the kid, much smaller scale in terms of the goal, but doing something bad to get money and protect those you care about? It tugs at the strings of her black heart and her money purse.

"Well, we better get going, doesn't seem fair for the _General_ to wait around for his ass kicking. Usopp, release the Ravens!" the long nose looks confused "Throw the paint bird out the window"

"Oh" he does, the construct flying a circle around the ship before heading home, Nami and Valentina manoeuvring the ship to keep the bird directly above Merry's head as far as they could see.

 _Meanwhile_

"Are we really letting that idiot fight Candyman?" Noire asks with a frown, her bow resting on her shoulders as the General beats Shuraiya black and blue

"It gives them both something to do" Morgan replies with an uncaring wave of the hand "If you want to make sure they can't escape feel free" at that the archer flashes a feral grin and notches and arrow, her iris glow for a moment, followed by the arrow tip

 **Lock Down**

The arrow flies true, hitting the centre of the paddlewheel and digging in a couple inches, the indigo pulse that spreads from it causing the entire wheel to lock up and seize. With only one functioning paddle the Salamander begins to tilt and spin, but it was going nowhere under its own power for a while

"Anyone have a preference about what they want to do with these weaklings?" Morgan asks, walking to the side of the ship

"I just want him dead" Noire answers

"Wrecking the ship should be fun"

"I'll remain here and guard the Grinning Naga"

"I'll sit this one out, also the Straw Hats are on their way" Morgan turns to the final speaker, ash blond hair under s beret, striped shirt and a content smile on his face, his green eyes a little hazy, a sign he was watching through his art

"Never doubted them for a minute" Morgan clicks his tongue, resting his hand on his palm "You know, after hearing about them beating Crocodile, I'd rather like to see how they deal with a logia, first hand"

Noire pouts "So I won't…"

"Oh you can kill him if you want, just let the kids have some fun first. They are the Worst Generation after all, we might as well see who we're leaving our titles to" at that the archer and 1st mate grin, seeing a Supernova in the making was definitely a fun experience, and they were seeing a few at once, Renaissance's bird appeared, melting and being drawn under his coat, just before the Straw Hats make their prescience known as only their captain can

"GASPARDE!"

Ren turns to the steamship "Morgan, Century, Severa. You all wanted to play right?" he asks, paint dripping form his fingers

"Yes we did" the artist smirks, the throws his hand out, a black tendril shooting out and sticking to the other vessel, linking them when he places the hand on their starboard and spread it, forming a makeshift bridge

"Good luck" he nods, noting the Devil Fruit user went first, then Severa and finally the captain, Ren letting the tether snap on his end and follow them over once Morgan's feet hit the deck _'This should be fun'_ he thinks, the paint forming a blotchy black and red dog, which swelled to the size of a Saint Bernard.

"Well we're here, what now?" Kaya asks, hands on her revolvers just in case she was needed

"Luffy, make sure they have the welcome mat out for us, will you?" Nami asks with a smile and a bat of the eyes, Kaos chuckling behind her

"Okay then"

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

The rubber boy plows through the pirates on deck, landing just in front of Gasparde, the man looking unimpressed and a little annoyed

"I'm Luffy, I'll be delivering an ass kicking today"

"You think you can fight me? This is what happens to men who get that kind of idea in their heads" he points down to Shuraiya, the bounty hunter looking on the verge of passing out, beaten bloody and broken "But you may be able to sate my boredom, in a way this race was unable to"

"Could have just come to the New World, we'd have kicked your ass for free" Morgan jokes, his dodges looking easy, while Century's hand slips effortlessly into a man's shoulder, then stabbing him in the throat with a small piece of bone.

"But then he wouldn't be able to act like he's the big tough guy, our doctor could kick his ass, and they almost never leave the ship" the blue eyed man taunts, knowing he was right when a vein pulses in Gasparde's neck and he jumps at him.

"I'll show you a weakling!" he shouts, Century grabbing at his face while he side steps the punch, though frowns when all her gets for it is a handful of goo

"Well, that didn't go how I expected" he grumbles, then gets punched in the back and slides over to the rest of the former marine's crew

"I'm guessing he were trying to remove Gasparde's skull?" Morgan turns and sees Kaos, Sanji and Zoro, hop onto the ship, the swordsman with a child on his back

"Yep, his fruit enables him to pull bone from the body and form it into weapons, when pulled from his own body it's fine, practically clones itself, but straight up remove the object when used on others" the captain explains, his sword unsheathed and slices through his opponent's like it was glass

"He is right here" Century grouches, removing a femur and batting some canon fodder off the ship "also Straw Hat look's kind of stuck"

Kaos and Sanji turn, and like other man said, Luffy was currently trying to remove his fist from Gasparde's currently green chest

"My fruit is the Ame Ame no mi, my body now has the consistency of candy syrup when I chose, it is a good trap, so I can't miss" Gasparde gloats before punching Luffy repeatedly, the man's body stopping Luffy from going anywhere no matter the strength behind the hit

"We need to help him" Vivi yells

"This is Luffy's fight, if you interfere directly he'll just kick your ass later. Plus what can you do against a man who is immune to melee attacks?" Kaos scolds her, then smiles when someone else does follow the advice

 **My nose fancy cannon**

The projectile hits Gaspard in the side of his head, blowing up a good 40% of it… the bad news was the man in a logia, so the green goo that was his head reformed with the same smug _'Punch me in the face'_ look it had previously

"Well I'm out of ideas"

But Luffy wasn't, rapid firing Pistol, Bell and Axe, all of which did minimal damage as would be expected, followed by…

 **Gum Gum, Munch Munch**

Which probably should have worked, but the expression on Luffy's face before spitting an angry Gasparde out showed even if it was candy syrup, the man tasted disgusting. Despite how things looked it was a pretty tame and even fight (Luffy's rubber body ignored blunt force, and Gasparde's logia form ignored all damage) until the man reformed his arm into a candy spike and tore a hole in Luffy's hat

"Well he's not leaving this ship alive" Kaos sighs, backhanding Pinkie into a wall then jumping back, allowing the poor unfortunate to get impaled on a bonemerang courtesy of Century.

Morgan shrugs "He wasn't going to anyway", then gasps when Luffy's next punch made the Candyman bleed _'Oh Luffy, you are going to rock this world to its core one day, aren't you lad?'_ he thinks, turning to the mutt that barrelled through about 5 of Gasparde's goons.

"What the Hell is that?" Zoro asks, the beast turning emerald eyes on the man and growls

"Ren's best attacker, I'm trying to convince him to call it Baskerville, but for now it's Ban" Century answers, pinning people down with his finger bones and leaping over Morgan with a laugh "We done yet boss, Noire would kill you if we're still here when the cyclone hits?"

"Cyclone?"

Morgan nods "Yep, they're pretty common in this region, and given the fact your navigator looks about ready to die herself, I'm betting she's noticed it too. Ren, tell Noire to get ready and line up the shot, he's done once Luffy's had enough" the hound nods, his master grinning wider as he stands up from the Deck of the Grinning Naga.

"Guys. Get back to the ship, right now!" Nami screams, just as Luffy is shot from one end of the Salamander to the other "There's a cyclone heading this way, we need to be ready to leave, Hell we should have already left"

"Should someone tell Luffy?" Kaos asks as he jumps back down to the Merry's deck "Or even Sanji"

"What about my grandfather?" the kid asks, looking about ready to jump back on board them self

"Well hopefully he's almost done, nobody should be able to walk away from that" Usopp points over to the battle, where Luffy had just impaled Gasparde with the last remaining mast of the ship

"Luffy" the rubber boy turns, surprised to see Sanji running over with 2 large sacks on his shoulders "Here, you'll need these" the cook tosses the bags, knowing Luffy wasn't leaving until Gasparde was beaten, and given he was a logia that would take a while

"What are they?"

"Not important, just do to him what you did to Crocodile" the currently straw hat-less boy nods and turns to the now reformed Gasparde

"This ends now" Luffy swears, then yelps as he leaps out of the way of Gasprade's candy claws, tearing the bag and covering everything in the vicinity in flour _'Okay, why did Sanji give me food ingredients?'_ he thinks, right until he punches Gasparde again and knocks the guy over.

"How? You shouldn't be able to touch me"

"Guess I found your other weakness besides the normal one, flour makes you solid, and if you're solid I can punch you" Luffy smirks and demonstrates by slamming his fist into the former marine's face

' _Okay Straw hat, you've had your fun'_ Morgan thinks, walking to the edge as he gives a signal to the Hound, in response Ren jumps to the top deck where Noire is waiting

"Take the shot Noire, though before you do, a few parting gifts, just to ensure he sinks" the painter grins, handing her an arrowhead made of bone, with electric blue lines interlaced in it, causing the woman's eyes to widen

"Seriously, he infused it and it's still active?" Ren nods and summons some paint, wrapping around the bone to form a shaft and fletching for her arrow, the energy within giving a few green lines to add to the blue

"Boss said make sure he's dead, we're making sure even the best logia can't stand after you hit him"

Noire gives a very shark like grin, then takes the arrow, notches it and pushes her own haki into the projectile, adding indigo stripes to the other 2 "Say goodbye Candyman" she purrs, a crosshair forming around her left eye

 **Lock on**

"You think this can stop me, in this world there is only the strong and the weak, I am strong and I will prove it when I beat you into the ground, and toss you into the se…" Gasparde's threat was cut short, mostly due to the arrow entering his head through his right eye and leaving the back of his head through the left side. The man gurgles a little blood, but keels over with little fanfare, though his _'parting gift'_ was noticed by one eagle eyed pirate, and made it's way into a certain mirror master's hands.

"He's dead" Luffy sighs, partly from relief as he nurses the wounds he got from the bastard's candy spikes

"That he is" the rubber boy turns to see Morgan beside him, offering him a hand up "Let's go, your ship has already moved, they're a lot more vulnerable in this storm than mine" he chuckles and sees Century had already grabbed the bounty hunter like he told him to, no reason to let him die with this ship. Helping the boy up the 2 Smile Pirates nod and just before anything else can happen

 **BANG**

"Come on idiots, we have to move before we all die" Severa yells, already running across the ropes shot over to link the 2 ships, the old man unconscious on her back

"Captain?"

"Follow the red head, there's nothing left here to worry about" Century nods, Forest should be able to patch up both guys easy, they'll pass them over to the Straw Hat crew later. He didn't mention seeing the captain grab a broken hat, as it was none of his business.

 _The next day_

"This is the only place the Straw Hats could have stopped, meaning we shouldn't have long to wait before running into them" Noire states as the ship docks, or close enough with no port. Luffy was standing beside her, as were the old man and Shuraiya sitting a little further back, Forest was a miracle worker at times, but even so those 2 looked rather beat up, the medic was currently explaining to them how they needed to refrain from doing anything strenuous and idiotic, looking kind of cute frowning and hands on flaired hips.

"Thanks for this, and also…" Luffy points to his head, the captain with a little help from Kjelle of all people having fixed his hat up good as new, or close enough.

Morgan laughs as he hears that "Yah aha, did you really think I'd deprive you of your symbol, it's an unspeakable crime to even consider it" he clutches his heart, Ren and Pyro giggling in the background, until Noire head slaps her lover "Ow" he whines

"Behave then"

"Luffy!" the boy looks up, displaying a full D grin when he sees Vivi and Alvida calling to him from the Merry

"Guess that's your ride, we could take the kid and these 2 with us to the next island, keep the heat off you if nothing else" Morgan offers, getting a nod from the 3 involved

"I'll go get her" Luffy says, stretching and grabbing the girl, screaming the entire flight until she lands in her grandfather's arms "There we go, a family reunited, Yosh! Well, see you around Morgan, I'll get past your bounty one day"

 **Gum Gum Rocket**

"Oh I hope you do Luffy, the waves you're making are going to keep things interesting for YEARS to come" Morgan says to himself, though he sees Noire and Ren nod out the corner of his eye

 _A few hours later_

"So, this may not be the best time, but I felt we should get this over and done with as soon as possible" Kaos explains, placing a tangerine on the table, one that was now a dark amber yellow, as well as covered in swirls

"Is that?"

"Gasparde's Ame-Ame no mi? Most likely but unless anyone eats it there's no way for US to be sure" the purplette answers then looks around the room "Now I gathered everyone here, well besides Nami to figure out what we're going to do with this" he waves his hands in the fruit's direction

"Well, either someone can eat it, or we can sell it on" Robin lays out the options, keeping things straight forward

"Nami will want to sell it, especially after missing out on that 300 million prize money" Zoro adds, realising pretty quickly why Kaos left the red head out of the loop, as far as this discussion went

"Pretty much. Now, there are 7 people who can eat this fruit, and I'm offering it to 6 of you, again because Nami will reject it out of hand and just demand we sell it"

Zoro shakes his head "My skill is with swords, there's no need for me to eat a Devil fruit. Find me a better sword and I'll listen though"

"I'm a sniper, this kind of thing is more a close range kind of attacker, even if it's a logia I'd rather not be somewhere that I need to be intangible" Ussop chimes in

Luffy looks at the bluenette on his lap "what about it Vivi, candy powers, you could make syrup slashers" he suggests, trying to see the girl's reaction

"Not to mention making some things a lot more fun between us" Alvida whispers, giggling with Luffy when her face turns bright red

"No, I, I don't think this fruit is for me. But I do thank you for the gratious offer

 _ **Crunch**_

"Aw, they were right about the taste, mouldy honey for sure"

A pin drops as all eyes turn to Kaya, the half eaten tangerine in her hand

"Kaya" Usopp gasps

The blond pinks "I wanted to be stronger; I wanted to contribute and not be a burden"

"And now you're leaking all over the floor" Artemis deadpans, the girl looks down and yelps, her lower half having melted into a golden yellow goo, which looked to have the consistency of honey.

"Well… this can't go badly" Luffy says sarcastically, while Kaya slams her head into the table, not even making he proper thump as she does due to her new candy body.

"As long as something very important is remembered"

 **SLAP**

Usopp growls and Sanji had to be restrained as Kaos practically bitchslaps the medic onto the ground "Logia's aren't like paramecia, you aren't always syrup like Luffy is always rubber and Alvida is always smooth. Eventually you can be like Crocodile, able to reflexively transform when in danger, but until then you will need to will yourself to change or else you might as well still be a normal human" he explains, Kaya nods and the reflect human relaxes… until getting a candy spike glancing off his temple, drawing blood and jamming into the wall behind him. He grins widely, a smaller version on the new logia's face "Oh this is going to be a lot of fun dearie"

TBC

LW: So, all in one go, somehow. We meet a complete OC pirate crew, some are actual OC's of a friend of mine while others are OP versions of other characters.

Also there is now one of every type of fruit on the Straw hat Crew:

Paramecia: Luffy, Kaos, Alvida, Victor, Valentina, Robin

Zoan: Chopper, Lasoo(It counts)

Logia: Kaya


	43. Mock Town, Jaya: Where dreams go to die

LW: Well here we are the opening chapter to the Skypeia Arc. I know I may have said and indeed planned to take a break from this story after Alabasta… but it's been a constant thing in my schedule and I'd already started bits of this even before saying that, so I might as well keep going. Besides, (Spoliers) who could resist punching God in the face? Good luck to me I guess

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Mock Town, Jaya: Where dreams go to die

 _The Deck of the Going Merry_

"So, what's on your mind?" Robin asks, walking over to Kaos who looked to be staring into space with his back against the Merry's figurehead

Kaos nods frowning slightly "It's about Artemis" he replies, both looking over to the girl laughing and screaming as she plays with Chopper, Carue and Lasoo "What do you know about her?"

"Surprisingly little" Robin admits, not looking at the purplette, knowing just for a moment he smirked, seeing her not knowing something, especially when she sold herself as practically knowing everything "Crocodile was also annoyed by that lack of information, but that was to be expected from World Government experiment logs"

Kaos blinks then chokes "The World Government? Shit, this runs deep" he mumbles "How did this happen?"

"Baroque Works agents found a lab and in it they found her. After relaying the information to Crocodile he went there himself, making sure nobody lived to tell about it, before burning the place to the ground. He then had her tested, less invasively than the people in the lab did to see if she really could do the things the scientists clamed. On that day, Miss Goldenweek was born"

"So I assume you chose the name Artemis?"

"Correct, her name was most likely subject something or other of Project Hypnos. It's been her name for the last 4 years"

Kaos stands "4 years! Crocodile sent an 8 year old on dangerous missions?"

"1st, it would be a 10 year old, and 2nd, no, Artemis has never been on the highly dangerous missions you're imagining, I made sure of it. She's a support character in terms of fighting not a brawler like Luffy, though I did teach her to defend herself up to and including stabbing her paintbrush in her attacker's eye"

Kaos looks her deep in the eyes "You care about her, you coddle her and she's got you wrapped around her finger" at Robin's expression he quickly raises his hands "It's the same for me, I'm 19, and somehow have a 14 year old who calls me papa… still weird… and I let her. Just like you, she's snuck her way into my heart and I neither can not want to try get her to leave, nor see her go"

Robin blushes slightly as Artemis runs inside, most likely to get some treats from Sanji or Valentina "I can never thank you or this crew enough, she acts much more human since joining up with you guys, plus I heard someone's been helping her with her symbols" she grins and they sit in comfortable silence until a scream of frustration is heard coming from inside "Think she knocked over Nami's maps again?" Robin asks with a chuckle

"No, sounds like we're having another navigational crisis. Last time Nami made that noise, was when she was trying to use a compass to chart a course through the Grand Line and the thing just spun uselessly. Want to wake the newly weds or should I?"

In the end they decided to compromise, in this instance meaning opening the door and shoving Zoro in, and given the swordsman nearly got his head removed by a half naked Alvida neither regretted the decision. While the those 3 got dressed they gathered the rest of the crew and everyone met up in the main room of the ship.

"We have a problem" Nami begins the meeting, placing the log on the table, a log which was pointing nearly straight up "Now this could be a fluke or proof of damage…"

"It's not" Kaos responds, placing another pose beside hers, it's heading practically identical "The pose is telling us the next island is Skyward"

"How do you have another like this?" Victor asks

"Simple really, since we left the lighthouse I've had on of our spares calibrated to the previous island, just in case Luffy does something stupid and break it. When Nami screamed I checked my active pose, and understood her frustration" Kaos explains before putting the pose back into his cloak

"So what does it mean?" Chopper asks

"Sky Islands" Robin replies "The problem being that they're pretty much just a legend, mostly because nobody knows for sure how to get up there to them. Now we have 2 options, try find a way up to these sky islands through whatever insane plans there are or we can stop at another island then we wait for that island's field to override our current heading and continue onwards"

The group waited silently for Luffy's decision, even though a handful of them already knew the answer

"Set a course Nami, we're going to find ourselves a Sky Island!" Luffy yells with a wide grin

 _An hour later_

"FUCK!" Nami screams, shoving everything off her table in anger

"Nothing in the books Cobra gave you?" Kaos asks, picking up the books and stacking them on the ground

"No, how can we get to the islands when nobody knows where they even are and how they can be reached?" she sighs, running her hand through her hair "All we have to go on is a pose currently telling us to somehow fly into the sun"

Vivi frowns and sighs "I'm sorry, all I know about the islands is bedtime stories from when my mother was still around"

"GUYS WE HAVE A PROBLEM" they turn as they hear Usopp yell from the crows nest

As they come out everyone could see why… there was a ship falling from the sky.

"This is going to be severely unpleasant" Robin notes, giving the understatement of the week.

"Everyone grab onto something, doubly important for Devil Fruit eaters" Zoro yells, taking charge as Nami was still BSOD at the time, snapping out of it enough to grab the railing, also giving her a good view of their newest fruit user sticking herself to the mast and solidifying her candy form to secure herself, as well as sending out several candy feelers to try at least give the others an extra lifeline.

The splash from the ship hitting the water sent the Merry bouncing, but luckily the girl was undamaged once the waves settled "Everyone still here?" Vivi asks, after untangling herself from Luffy and her slasher cords.

"Looks like it, now can someone explain how a ship falls from the sky?" Nami asks with a glare, today being a particularly bad one for her.

"And why it's full of skeletons?" Chopper adds, setting off another wave of panic as they notice a few had landed on the ship during the downpour of ship parts.

Robin stands and approaches one "There are a few ways to find out, you just need to put some effort into it" finding a badly broken skull and beginning to put the pieces back together

"That's kind of freaky" Valentina mutters, while Artemis and Kaos step closer along with Luffy

"It's nice to do actual archaeological work after so long" Robin muses aloud, smiling to herself "Now if you can all hold your stomachs for long enough to look at the skull, you'll see something important"

"That there are pieces missing?" Sanji asks, referring to the 2 holes in the top of the skull, while Kaya and Chopper's eyes widen

"Close but not quite correct, these holes are proof of trepanation, a medical technique where a hole is cut into the skull for a number of reasons, from superstitious ones like expelling evil spirits, or more understandable ones like removal of a brain tumour. One of the reasons the holes are this rather than the cause of death… is because the bone shows signs of healing and regrowth, meaning this wasn't an injury that occurred close to death" she explains, both medics nodding as she got everything pretty much right

"It's a pretty old technique, not a lot of people would do it now a days, nor even be able to attempt it" Chopper admits

"And because of the trepanning done to this man, I'd wager them and the ship to be over 200 years old" Robin hums then blooms hands to retrieve one of their history books "The condition of his teeth and the methods used to keep them that way were common to the south Blue at that point in time… ah there we are! The St. Briss of the Briss Kingdom, exploratory vessel sent out 208 years ago"

"Pretty close prediction there, 8 years off when talking about centuries" Victor praises, causing her to chuckle

"You sure can tell a lot from just some old bones there Robin" Alvida comments, the archaeologist nods

"True, but as an exploratory vessel, we would learn a lot more from the ship itself"

Nami frowns "And that is currently sinking like a stone, or Luffy" the captain nods like a bobble head, chuckling to himself

"So, the fact the ship got up there, means there has to be some way up to the Sky islands, and hopefully we can use it too" Kaos interjects "Anyone got any ideas, because even the normal members of this crew can't survive going down to that vessel for intel"

"We can, if they bring the air down with them"

Vivi and Kaos groan "Why does this sound like the start of a really bad idea?" she asks sadly

"Because it probably is" the purplette answers

A little later Sanji, Zoro and for some reason (aka nobody could convince him not to) Luffy were decked out in barrel type scuba gear (I'm calling them that, because that's what they are), Luffy's covering his entire body due to the whole fruit eater problem, while Sanji and Zoro just had their upper body enclosed.

"This is going to be fun" Luffy cheers

"Nami, I swear to bring you every last scrap of information on that ship back to you" Sanji shouts, waving his arms frantically

"You owe me for this, keeping these 2 idiots alive down there will be a full time job" Zoro grumbles as the tubes are attached and checked. Once everything was safe and secure the Monster trio went in, passing through a nest of giant sea snakes or Sea Kings, hard to tell with such a wide ranging class of creature, until they finally reached the wreck

SALVAGE! SALVAGE THE SEA! SALVAGE!

' _Oh sweet kami'_ was the thoughts of about half the crew when another ship came into visual and audible range, the banana/monkey themed vessel was… odd to say the least, but it suited the monkey that appeared to be its captain

"Are we on top of where the ship landed?" the monkey asked

"Yes Captain Sir" was the response from the crew

"Then as Captain of the Mashira pirates I claim this ship as our salvage and property, says the king of Salvagers, Mashira!" Mashira the monkey shrieks

"Well, looks like we have company" Victor states "Should we fire a warning shot?"

"Bark" responds Lasoo, wagging his tail, while Carue and Chopper shrug

"We could try deal with this peacefully?" Vivi suggests, getting a smirk from Kaos

"And that is why Luffy made you Head of diplomatic relations" he says with a laugh "Let's see what happens next" he adds, just as the Merry gets noticed

"Hey, what are you doing? Trying to steal a ship out from under me ay?" Mashira asks

"No" Kaos answers, unsure if the monkey would believe him

"You know, if they raise the ship, that would make things a lot easier for us all" Robin points out "After all, that is the only way to salvage a ship"

"Good for intel on sky islands, but not good for Sanji, Zoro and Luffy who are still down there" Vivi hisses

"Well, now is as good a time as any to find out if that's the case" Nami says, before stepping around Kaos and into the salvagers' view "Excuse me, I have a question!"

Mashira coughs "You have a question for me? Sure, ask me anything you want"

"Are all you big, strong, good looking men going to bring up that ship?" Nami asks, batting her eyelashes and causing most of her own crew to shiver

Mashira grins "It's nice you can see what a real man looks like"

"Huh?"

"You said we were strong and good looking, which included me"

Nami tilts her head in confusion "Of course"

The monkey's face currently resembled Chopper's when he gets compliments "Anyone else mildly traumatised?" Kaos whispers

"I turned my eyes into candy to protect myself; does that answer your question?" Kaya replies, the 1st mate's eyebrows shoot into his hairline when he sees yellow liquid leaking from between her eyelids

"So are you going to?"

"Of course. If there's a sunken ship I'll salvage it, if it's not sunken, I'll sink it and then salvage it later"

"Well at least he's thorough" Alvida says, having taken out the deck chair expecting this to be a lot of waiting around.

"Can we watch you guys salvage the ship?" Nami asks

Mashira looks confused "You mean you've never seen a professional salvage crew? Well you're in for a treat!" he grins, then turns to see what a commotion on the other side of his ship was "What now?"

"The divers, they were attacked"

The monkey groans "Was it the Sea Kings again?"

"No, it looks like someone beat them black and blue with their fists"

"Well it was nice knowing them" Valentina whines, flopping into Victor's lap

"Hey you guys over there"

"Yes"

"There are some strong guys in the water around here, be careful"

Beat

"Thank God this guy is an idiot" Kaos releases a sigh of relief, the others nodding in agreement.

Watching the Mashira pirates Salvage Squad was actually rather interesting, and what surprised them the most was the captain was able to start the ship's ascension form the sea floor with his breath alone, something they we're sure Luffy couldn't even attempt to do outside of his Balloon form. Finally the St. Briss was on the surface once more, though there was another scuffle midway up (the guys are getting the shit beat out of the when they get back to the Going Merry) which lead to Mashira jumping in to investigate… oh and the fact the ship was less on the surface as in the mouth of a giant prehistoric looking turtle which had now risen to the surface

"I should have stayed in bed" Vivi groans, a sentiment shared by everyone right about now

"Well it was nice knowing you all" Artemis chimes in, squeezing between Robin and Kaos as the safest place in her mind to be if all goes to Hell in a hand basket, such as the beast beginning to drag them alongside it

"It appears we are all headed for a grisly fate, either being devoured by the beast, or drowning when it sinks the ship" Robin muses, not helping the already frightened Nami, Ussop, Chopper and Kaya

"Cut the air hoses! We need to save our skins!" the navigator screams, until Kaos smacks her across the ship

"Calm the fuck down, also everyone step back please" he says calmly, the crew confused but comply, enabling them not to be run over by a flying Luffy shooting out of the air and hitting the deck, shortly followed by Sanji and Zoro climbing up the side "Now we can run for our lives like the cowards some of us are"

"Finally" Usopp sighs, while the medics check up on Luffy and Nami bats the stars out of her eyes. And then it goes dark

"The Grand Line just keeps getting weirder" Zoro grunts, not getting any argument here, especially when the monkey returned, landing on the edge of their ship

"Hand over all the treasure you stole right now, don't make me sink this ship and find it later, cause I'm not very nice to people who make me do that"

Hearing the T word gets Nami's attention, the red head instantly zipping over to the monster trio "Treasure, what did you find?"

"Captain, look behind you" one of the monkey man's crew yell over, prompting everyone on the Merry to do so… and promptly PANIC from the giant shadow of several winged humanoid, cutting an imposing figure if nothing else

"Well…. We're officially screwed" Robin states almost matter of factly

"Thanks for the vote of confidence"

"Oh like you weren't thinking it"

This argument broke the shock long enough for one decision to be made: **EVERYONE** break out the oars and paddle until those things are a distant memory

 _However long it takes for this crew to keel over in exhaustion_

"Okay, I'm about ready to give up on today, who's with me?" Kaos asks, Artemis passed out on his back, chin on his hands

"So you guys found NOTHNG!" Nami screams at their own salvagers

"Other than a map to some place called Skypeia, no. Nothing that could tell us how to get up there or if the map is even where the pose to directing us" Zoro answers

"Believe me, if there was anything useful down there I would have brought you it, but the place was devoid of anything worthwhile" Sanji promises

"So the boys were unable to find anything, meaning that ship was a bust, but maybe not the other one" Robin grins tossing something to Nami who just barely managed to not get skulled by it

Her eyes widen "This is an Eternal Pose"

"Yep. Snagged it from the salvager's ship. Seeing as our own pose are less than helpful I thought it best we get something to help in the here and now" Robin explains as she lounges against the railing of the ship

"So, I guess we're going to Jaya then" Luffy reads over Nami's shoulder "Maybe they know how to get to Sky islands"

Nami smiles, for once Luffy was being smart-ish "That's the hope. Should we start moving captain?"

"Of course, the sooner we get to Jaya the sooner we can find Skypeia, or whatever the island's name is"

"It'll have to be just a quick stop, or else we might lose the sky island's magnetic field" Vivi adds, Nami nodding though they both know the others will need reminding when they actually get there again.

 _Later_

"Are you sure this pose isn't broken too?" Alvida asks, as even according to Nami they should have seen or reached Jaya within the hour

Thump Thump Thump

"Ah, these sea gulls just got shot!" Chopper screams, alerting the others to the commotion and the pile of dead birds on deck

"How could they have been shot, we didn't hear a thing" Zoro asks

"And killing sky rats seem like a waste of effort for the Nagi Nagi no mi" Kaos adds, looking over the reindeer's shoulder as he removes a bullet from the animal "Guess we were wrong"

"See they were shot, and the bullets came from that direction" Chopper points a little to the right of them

Luffy grins when he realises what the doctor was saying "So Jaya must be over that a way too"

 _Another half hour_

"This place looks so cool!" Luffy cheers, Chopper and Usopp joining him "It looks like some kind of resort"

"Seems to be a popular place for pirates, at least given how many are out in the open" Robin draws their attention to the row of ships with Jolly Rogers on the dock "Guess Jaya doesn't get much Marine traffic"

"Good for us then, what with Luffy reaching 100 mill and all" Valentina pipes in, her and Nami ensuring the Merry stops correctly and without damage

"So, anyone want to bet how long it takes Luffy to get into a fight?" Kaos asks as Luffy and Zoro hop off the ship the moment it stopped

"Under an hour, now try prove me wrong" Nami bets, then shoves the reflect human onto the pier "Come on everyone, we need to get supplies and see if anyone knows about Sky islands"

 _With Luffy, Zoro, and now Kaos_

After being given explicit instructions not to cause a scene by Nami, and running into a weirdo handing out apples, some which blow up and some like the one Luffy grabbed which didn't they reached somewhere they guessed would have useful information… hotel. A nice place too, well until a twitchy guy shuffled over to them

"Um excuse me, this entire place has been rented out by Mr Bellemy, and he has asked me to tell all other guests such as yourself to leave. As you can see I have no say in the matter"

"Of course you do, it's your establishment after all" Kaos responds, not looking at the man get more worried

"Who's Bellemy?" Luffy asks

"You don't know who Mr Bellemy is? He's a strong pirate worth 55 million beri"

"So he's an arrogant little shit, thanks" the purplette smirks, causing Luffy to laugh and Zoro to smile just a little, as he knew these 2 were going to cause a scene eventually, but at least it would be entertaining

"Who are these riffraff and what are they doing in our hotel?" asks a man with goggles and light blue hair as he walks into the area

"Oh Mr. Sarquiss, I was just explaining to these gentlemen that the hotel has been booked by your captain and that they should leave" the manager explains, continuing to twitch rather painfully

"I don't care, just get rid of them, Boss gave you a lot to ensure the place is ours while we're here" the blond beside him whines

"Hey guys, can I beat him up?" Luffy asks, getting lightly head slapped by both guys

"Nami said no fighting, even if this dumbass deserves an anal lobotomy" Kaos grumbles, his fingers twitching around Hebi as he shoves the captain out of the hotel

"Hope the next place has someone useful in it" Zoro says mostly to himself, though loud enough he other 2 could hear, just before they stop in front of a bar "Think we have time for a booze break?"

"Nothing says we can't" Luffy answers and the three walk in, Zoro and Kaos looking away from him for a minute and the rubber boy already getting himself in a fight with some fat guy with missing teeth kind of resembling an ape, luckily it was just shouting at the moment, but given neither were high on the intelligence scale, it was bound to devolve into a fist fight

"Should we do something?"

"Nah, Luffy can handle himself, it's just one guy" Zoro raises an eyebrow from Kaos' bland delivery

"You all right there?" the first mate shrugs

"Yeah, just things are muted, since we got to the island. Fuck if I know what it means" he sighs and orders another drink, sensing another paramecia heading their way, and the headache was forming pre-emptively.

"I'm looking for a pirate that wears a straw hat" came a voice from the door

"If you can't find him, open your fucking eyes" Kaos says with a grunt of annoyance

"Are you talking back to me?" he looks up and sees some blond freak show standing over him "I'm Bellemy the Hyena, you'd best be showing me the respect I deserve"

"Bellemy? Oh that little shit goggles guy was talking about!" Luffy yells, slapping himself for forgetting, while Zoro facepalms and Kaos grins, just as Bellemy's crew enter the bar.

Bellemy's eyes shrink in anger, punching Luffy through the bar, in response both accompanying Straw Hats draw their weapons "You think you can take me, you brats?"

"Actually, yes" Zoro answers

"Listen, we're probably going to wreck the place and coat the walls in your blood, so before we start fighting and Nami gets pissed at us… Hey Barkeep, do you know how to get to the Sky Islands?" Kaos asks, Hebi in khopesh form, the hook resting on his shoulder

There was silence for a few minutes, during which Luffy stood up and patted himself down, before the entire bar erupts into laughter

"I should have known a crew of weaklings like yourselves were dreamers. You don't even know about the Knock up Stream" Bellemy laughs as he sits down, looking smug as ever

' _Sounds like that's where we're going, even if just to be sure'_

"What's that?" Luffy asks

"Any ship caught in a knock up stream is catapulted into the sky and later slams into the ocean, many years ago ignorant sailors saw ships falling from the sky and assumed there were islands up there, fools just like you 3. Anything strange and supernatural always has a rational explanation" he explains then punches Luffy to the ground "The time of dreams is over, you're just too stupid to realise it"

"LUFFY!" the scream draws attention to the door, where Nami, Robin and Vivi were standing the eldest confused and a little amused, the navigator looked fearful and worried, and finally Vivi was concerned for nothing but her Captain.

Seeing 3 pretty ladies enter Bellemy attempted to look soave "Hey sexy, how about I show you how a real man treats a lady. I'm kind of a big deal around here, 55 million beri bounty" he cackles, making the reason for his epithet really obvious

The bluenette scoffs "I don't have time to play with little boys playing pirate, come back with a real bounty" she says, walking over to Luffy as Zoro helps him stand

The blond growls "That wasn't a request" he yells, his hand extending out…

 _Honk_ "Ahh"

 _ **CRASH**_

The second his hand left Vivi's breast Bellemy found a fist slamming into the centre of his face, throwing him out of the bar so fast some of his crew got whiplash just watching

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY VIVI!" Luffy hisses, the anger palatable in the air

"That kid just punched the boss"

Saquiss grits his teeth and pulls out his 'big knife' "Who cares, we'll just make him pay" he aims for Luffy only for his blade to be split in 2 "What?"

"You assholes look like showmen to me" Kaos says with a taunting smirk "So how about we make thing fun? I presume you're his first mate?"

"Yeah so what?" the bluenette asks

"So am I, my captain beat yours, so you're not good enough for him to fight. If you beat me, then maybe you're worth his time" the purplette then turns to Zoro "I'll need to borrow a sword"

Zoro grumbles "You better not break it, I need 3 to be able to fight", Kaos just smiles

"Wouldn't dream of it, now mister knife" he taunts "pick your poison" he says, placing Kitetsu and Hebi on the table, Luffy, Zoro and Nami's eye's blow up like balloons, Robin's eyebrows rise and Vivi is just confused "Who can stand the cursed blades, who is worthy, time to find out" he explains, before picking up and unsheathing Sandai Kitetsu.

Saquiss laughs "You just showed me which blade is better, you really are a stupid dreamer" he then picks up the khopesh, testing the weight "It's smaller than I'd like, but I'll still use it to carve out your hea…ah" the blunette grunts and grabs his shoulder, pain flooding his body

Kaos smirks "You lose" he then puts the katana back into it's sheath and throws it to Zoro, the swordsman catching it with no effort on his part "Still in one piece, not even a scratch on the guard or blood to wipe off, happy?"

Zoro shrugs "I kind of wanted to see you either do something cool with the sword, or cut your own hand off for being an idiot, so disappointed is the best word to describe my emotional state right now" he replies before putting the sword back with the others

"What are you on about, you didn't even touch Saquiss and you just threw away your weapon, how dumb are you?" one of the Bellemy pirates scream, leading to Kaos turning to them with a blood thirsty grin

"He lost the second he picked up the blade. I wasn't lying when I spoke about cursed blades and our worth, both weapons were cursed, and I chose the one I hadn't yet been tested by. I survived unscaved, partly because I wasn't dumb enough to risk the Kitetsu's power. My sword on the other hand has a more direct affliction, **Anord Nathair** (According to a friend of mine it means Chaos Serpent in irish) if she doesn't deem you worthy, she will kill you" he then walks over to the twitching Saquiss and grabbed his shirt, tearing the entire right side off to prove his point: the snake usually coiled around the hilt in it's base form had extended, coiling up the man's arm and digging it's fangs into his shoulder, which had slowly spreading black veins emanating from it "I'll simplify this for you goggles, when the poison reaches your heart you're dead" he states, dripping with condescension and not even interested when he catches the wrist from his weak swing "You can tell the story of what happened today 2 ways, though I bet I know which way you'll go, either this moron killed himself…" he pauses to squeeze the man's wrist so he could remove the khopesh from his hand, doing so causing the snake's jaw to release and recoil around the hilt once more "... or he was slain by the power of the Sajio O Wazamono Grade Hebi no Oni no mi"

"How do we know that sword can even be used, and it's not just something you have for tricks like these?"

Kaos sighs and Luffy face palms, the purplette pushes back his cloak so his arm can be seen and holds out Hebi, allowing the serpent to slither up his arm and latch onto his shoulder much like Saquiss. He then spins the blade till it blurs and swings forward, splitting the shades of one of the Bellemy girls and causing it to fall off her face "That's how. Hebi likes me, just like how Kitetsu seems to like Zoro. Now get lost"

"Zehahaha. You're quite an odd one boy"

"Hm, oh you're that cherry guy" Kaos notes clicking his tongue "Why are you back?"

"Noticed the fight, wanted to see if anyone actually would stand up to the brat. Nice to see you're captain can do that, and that he dreams like a true pirate" the fat man explains with a smile "So, what's your name and Bounty?

"Mirror Master Kaos, 50 million" he answers, the entirety of Bellemy's crew collectively thinking of fuck, this guy was almost as strong as the boss "You?"

"Marshall Teach, and I don't have a bounty just yet, but I've still got time. Dream for the best and then set out to achieve it. Oh and Straw Hat"

"Yes"

"Sky islands are real. Happy hunting, Zehahaha" he laughs as he walks back out

"Well, that was at least kind of helpful" Robin states, then smiles when she sees Vivi was still checking Luffy for injuries.

"Let's head back, clearly that scruffy guy was the only person worth talking to in this place" Zoro says as he steps around Nami, though the red head grabs him so he doesn't get lost

"He's right, we're done" Luffy once more pants himself down, smiles to Vivi who moves closer to his side and starts moving, though he did stop beside the twitching bluenette long enough to speak "I've never seen someone die from the curse on my brother's blade, Kaos is pretty possessive of it, but I'll tell you know, you're probably going to wish he'd given you that anal lobotomy before it reaches your heart" the shadow his hat formed over his face adding to the seriousness of his statement, before letting Vivi lead him back to the ship.

Just before the monkey man finds them again… damn it!

TBC

LW: And done, see you all next month. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

So now we get to see the curse Tashigi was so worried about back in Loguetown, and I think it's quite understandable why she doesn't want to risk it.


	44. Path of the Liar

LW: We're heading to the sky soon enough, but we need one more chapter of set up. Here we go

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Path of the liar

"For fuck sake, didn't we get rid of you already?" Zoro thinks aloud, though the others were thinking something similar, believing kicking the monkey off their ship to be the last they see of Mashira the monkey… apparently not.

"Zoro, just because he looks like a monkey, doesn't mean he's the same idiot as before" Nami scolds, though right now wishing Luffy would stop taking directions from Robin, as it was her map which led to them running into another crew helmed by a big ape

"I am Shoujou! This is my territory, so pay the toll or be sunk by my beautiful and powerful voice!" The orangatan looking man yells over at them

"Are we sure it's not the same person, he certainly sounds like it" Chopper asks, causing Artemis to chuckle

"He just told us his name was Shoujou, so he can't be Mashira" she replies, getting the green haired man's attention

"Wait, you know Mashira?"

"Yep, we just tossed him of the boat like an hour ago" Luffy answers with a smile

This was the wrong thing to do "How dare you harm my sworn brother, face my fury" taking his microphone and shrieking into it

 **Havoc Sonar**

"That would have probably hurt, if it had gone off on the Merry" Kaos notes, watching the destruction the man was causing to his own ship with a kind of morbid fascination

Nami was less amused "Then let's get moving, while he's distracted" she orders, getting enthusiastic responses as they attempt to skirt around the crew of sonar surveyors, and just in time too as the Merry was beginning to show strain and break apart, from being within range of the attack.

Once a safe distance away Usopp and Victor began to make repairs, the others offering to help wherever they could, though it was clear the ship was beginning to wear thin in places, unfortunately they were important places like the keel and the majority of the hull, rather than say the windows or beds. Plus while an architect by profession, Victor wasn't exactly good with wood, neither was Usopp but they were clearly the best the ship had, so they made due.

"This pile of crap of falling apart, I say we trade it in for something better, plus it's getting kind of crowded" Sanji complains as the main deck was being put back together

"How dare you say something like that, do you even know how we got this ship?" Usopp shrieks defensively, calming a little when Kaya puts a hand on his shoulder as she sits beside him

"Calm down Usopp, I'm sure he isn't trying to make you feel bad" she says comfortingly, causing the sniper to smile sadly at her

"Whatever we plan to do, we need an actual shipwright, can't have Usopp shouldering the burden all the time. Plus having someone who knows what they're doing would be more efficient than any of us starting from scratch" Kaos adds, accepting another nail from Carue's bill, before she runs over to deliver one to Luffy who nods

"Right, shipwright, then a musician" he agrees, hammers his finger, blinks and continues working.

 _A little while later_

"So, we left Mock Town, circled the 2 outcrops of the island…"

"They look like sea monsters" Luffy chuckles before Nami punches him out of the way of the map

"… and now we've reached the believed home of this?" Nami waves her hand in the air, hoping to get an answer

"Mont Blanc Cricket" Robin finally responds, mostly because Nami had turned a strawberry colour, usually associated with violent behaviour in the navigator

"Hey guys look at this" Chopper yells, getting gasps when they see the majestic castle right in front of them.

"This must be the place" Vivi announces "Should we send a boarding party?"

"No need" Luffy responds, hopping over the side and landing safely "Ah man, it's a fake, the real house isn't anywhere near as cool"

"So, why is Cricket all the way out in the middle of nowhere anyway?" Alvida asks while they anchor the ship and prepare to disembark

Robin shrugs "From what I heard, it's due to his belief there's a large amount of gold on Jaya, but I don't have all the details"

"GOLD" Nami and yells, her eyes turning into berri signs "So he's looking for buried treasure out here?"

"Yes, that's the general consensus"

"It's mine I tell you mine!" the red head cackles, picking up Chopper and running onto the land, hoping to use him to dig up the gold for her

"And you wonder why I've called her Gold-On, was it really necessary to tell her there's gold in them hills?" Kaos chuckles as he follows Luffy, who desides Breaking and Entering is on the list of acceptable crimes he can perform "Find anything yet?"

"Nope, the guy's not here." Luffy sighs, his face looking bored

"What's this?" Valentina hums as she picks up a book "Hey guys, I found something. It's a book, a really old one. Noland the Liar"

"Noland? Sounds familiar" Sanji wonders aloud, scratching his head

"It says it was first published in the North Blue, does that help?" she asks, getting a smile from the cook

"It does, I was born in the North, I probably read or at least leafed through it when I was younger"

"Hm, I didn't know you were from the North" Nami says

"It's not really something you can see, but given the Red Line I understand if you assumed I was East born and raised" Sanji waves off the comment

"Anyway, what's in the book" Usopp whines, getting the kilo girl to continue talking, the story she recalled, alongside Sanji who was remembering more bits and pieces of it as she went on, actually reminded the crew of their own liar/sniper, given Noland also had a habit of regaling the people of his village with his tall tales, much like Usopp used to do with Kaya. It took a darker turn than their liar, as when he told the King of the City of Gold and he set out looking for it, only to find an ordinary island, he was sentenced to death for lying to his king, as well as being the reason for all but a hundred of his best warriors dying along the way. Noland died, claiming the city must have sunk into the sea between when he discovered it and when he returned, but nobody believed him, and he went down in history as simply Liar Noland.

"Well, that was sad" Victor sighed "Though this city of gold must be what Cricket is looking for"

"What are you all doing here, this is my land?" everyone turns to see an angry and muscular blond man with a chestnut on his head running towards them "Loughing around on someone's doorstep is rude, but given it's mine I know why you're here. You won't get my gold" he yells lashing out and trying to punch or kick anyone he could, knocking Luffy into his wall and nearly hitting Sanji a couple times, before collapsing in pain

"That was weird" Robin notes "What do we do now?"

"Doctor, we need a doctor" Chopper mumbles hopping from one foot to the other

Quack ['You're a DOCTOR']

Chopper blinks "Oh yeah"

 _A little later_

"So this weirdo has the bends?" Kaos asks as Chopper and Kaya begin treatment

"Correct, it's a condition that effects divers who don't return to the surface correctly, failing to allow time for decompression"

"And given his ancestor said the City of Gold was under the Ocean, it makes sense he'd be down there" Kaya agrees "Frantically searching for something to prove Noland wasn't just some crazy liar like everyone thinks, he probably almost never thought to let his body readjust, causing damage to accumulate over time, until he passed out just now"

Nami frowns "Damn. For once I'm glad I don't have a family name or legacy"

Luffy waves his arm dismissively "Don't worry about it Nami, Kaos Ace and I have family names and they don't mean shit" he attempts to assure her, in the end only getting punched in the head by his navigator and brother

Vivi tears up a little, as she places a comforting hand on Cricket's shoulder "The weight of a family legacy, of its history. It's never an easy thing to bear" she whispers before standing.

It was at this point the door was flung open and both the large monkeys from earlier in the day appeared

'Well shit'

"What are you doing here? What did you do to the old geezer?" they ask loudly

"We're trying to help him, he collapsed right in front of us" Luffy explains, pointing to his 2 medics

"Oh. Thank you for helping our friend" Mashira and Shoujou state warmly, making Luffy and a couple others smile

"So you guys live on this island"

Mashira nods "Yeah, this is the main base of the Saruyara Alliance, between me, my brother and the Big Boss Cricket" he explains

Shoujou agrees "But we spend most of our time on the ships, so it's mostly the old guys place. Plus it's a bit too small for the 3 of us"

"True"

"Luffy!" the captain turns as Chopper throws the door open "He's awake"

"Awesome" Luffy cheers then runs in "Hey chestnut head" he greets, the man smiles as he puts out a cigarette

"Sorry about earlier, I thought you were bandits out for my gold" Nami had to be restrained (turns out eating a syrup fruit makes that a lot easier) to stop her asking where the gold was "So what brings you to me?"

"We're looking for the sky islands and was told you might be able to help us" Vivi explains

Cricket looks at her like she'd grown another head "You…." He then begins laughing, proper genuine belly laugh, right until Luffy and Kaos punch him into the wall

"Ah, don't do that he's still recovering" Chopper shrieks and the blond gets back on his feet

"We've had enough of people laughing in our faces every time sky islands existence come up in conversation. Now can you help us or not"

Cricket takes another drag and sighs "I don't know, the only person who's ever claimed to have seen the islands is a liar of epic proportions" Kaos grabs Usopp with Traptrix and secures him to Cricket's bed "Can you do that somewhere else?"

"Where's the Sky Islands?" Luffy yells in the long nose's face, causing Cricket to face palm

"Not him you idiot. Noland"

"Oh" Luffy grunts as Kaos lets Usopp free, sidestepping his angry, flailing limbs.

"So, you're here looking for the treasure, to show Noland was right?" Alvida asks, the response being a bullet which slide off her arm

"No. After this long there's not a drop of Noland's blood in my veins and I never cared if the story was true or not. I was still the only one in my family after 400 years to end up back on this island though so I took this as a sign that my family's legacy of ridicule will end with me one way or another" Cricket states bitterly, putting the gun down once more and staring out into the sea

"That still doesn't explain the monkeys" Artemis pipes in

"They're fans of the book" Cricket answers, causing everyone to fall over in shock "They believe the city is down there somewhere, and they're helping me look for it. They found me on this island about 5 years ago, they're loud, annoying and spend nearly every moment together fighting, but they grow on you and I'm sure I'd miss having them around if they ever decided to leave"

Sanji chuckles "Yeah, I think the same about moss head and psycho sometimes"

"Really, we thought of you and Zoro, especially the fighting each other part" Luffy retorts, Chopper and Usopp nodding "Anyway, what can you tell us about the Sky Islands"

"Like I already said, the only person who has seen the sky islands, is Noland and nobody knows if that's true or another of his tall tales" Cricket rubs his eyes, then picks a book off his shelf "This should help" he says, opening it and handing it to Nami "Bottom of the page"

Nami reads the passage from Noland's logbook aloud, the information on the page catching a few of her crew's attention, as well as invigorating them to finding a way to the island. While they cheered, imagined and tried to come up with something that should work Cricket slipped away, stopping where Mashira and Shoujou were wresting "So boys, what do you think of those pirates?"

"Crazy, but strong. Why old man?"

Cricket sighs, then turns back to his house and smiles "Those kids, they're determined to reach the sky island, nothings going to deter them. Feel like helping them get there?"

The 2 monkey men smile "It'll be our pleasure"

"Those kids won't stand a chance without our help" Mashira boasts and laughs, Cricket feeling younger already, something about these people filling him with life and energy.

 _A little later_

"So, why did you call us over here?" Usopp asks Cricket who folds his arms

"Simple. I can tell nothing I say is going to stop you from trying to reach the sky islands, so I'm going to tell you everything I know about them"

"Really, thanks Mister" Luffy replies with a grin.

"Now, nothing I say here is a proven fact, so take it all with a pinch of salt okay?" everyone nods "Good. Now there's a strange phenomenon that occurs around here, where the sky goes black as night even in the middle of the brightest day…"

"That happened to us, when we met Mashira" Chopper gasps

"And then we saw those giant monsters" Kaya adds

Cricket raises an eyebrow "You saw them. There is a story as to what they are, but that's a discussion for later. Right now we focus on the darkness, which is formed by an extremely dense cloud…"

"Cumulonimbus clouds, but the sky turned to night, clouds just make the day…" Nami interrupts then stops, looking for the right word

"Cloudy?"

"Cloudy"

"Cloudy!"

"Shut your traps I'm trying to explain shit!" Cricket yells silencing them "It's called a Cumuloregalia. It forms high in the sky, has no internal air currents and doesn't cause rain, no light can reach the ground through it and a sunny day turns black as pitch. It's like a giant hand reached out and snuffed out the sun, leaving only the darkness of the void. Some people think they're fossil clouds, petrified and now drift through the air for thousands of years. Feel free to think whatever you want about that theory, but the point is if the Sky Islands are anywhere, it'll be on one of those clouds"

"So it's a mystery cloud" Luffy summarises then jumps up "We have a destination, to the shadow cloud!"

"And how do you plan for us to get up there?" Kaos asks, lowering the hype significantly

"He has a point, getting up there is the hard part, in this case the best option will most likely be the Knock Up Stream, which can send ships shooting into the air, and theoretically shoot you high enough to reach the cloud in question"

"So, the mystery current will get us there, sounds easy" Luffy says with a grin

"Except for the part where we come back down to the ocean with a smash, like the St. Briss did" Robin points out, allowing panic to set in once more

"She's right, just sailing into the knock up stream is practically suicide and is usually best avoided at all costs. These things occur about 5 times a month a various locations, last about a minute and essentially connect the sea and the sky for that length of time"

"So we're supposed to sail into an exploding jet of water that occurs randomly 5 times a month and HOPE there's a sky island nearby?" Usopp asks

"Yep, and if you miss or time it incorrectly, you get blasted into fish food, either from the knock up stream itself, or hitting the ground afterwards" Cricket agrees with a nod, leading to the coward getting in Luffy's face

"So, I guess we're giving up on the Sky Islands then, because this plan is insane and you'd need to be the luckiest man in all creation to pull off something like this"

"And that's why we're doing it" Kaos answers, based on the fact Luffy hadn't stopped smiling since Cricket started talking, his grin actually getting larger as time went on

"Yes, we're riding the Knock Up Stream and finding ourselves a Sky Island!" Luffy declares, causing Usopp, Nami and Kaya to faint, Cricket and Robin to chuckle, Kaos and Artemis to laugh and Zoro to sigh, the rest unsure how to process what they were about to undertake

"The next problem is your ship, even bran new there is no way it could survive the intense power of what it's about to experience. Luckily I'm going to have Mashira and Shoujou work on it, get it ready to fly as well as reinforce the main super structure. Right boys?"

"You betcha pops!" the monkey men cheer

"Thanks guys" Luffy shouts back

"We're completely screwed aren't we?" Valentina asks, getting nods form pretty much everyone still conscious

"So, when does the Knock up Stream coincide with this shadow cloud thing?" Alvida asks, while Chopper tries rouse their crewmates

"About noon tomorrow" Cricket answers

"WHAT!"

"So we have a pretty good chance of making it then" Kaos grins as Nami and Usopp huddle together and cry

"Food's ready everyone!" Sanji yells from the house, drawing attention to slightly better things, in this case Sanji's cooking

It was during the standard Straw Hat gathering/party Cricket revealed his treasures, bell shaped golden ingots he'd pulled up on some of his dives, as well as telling them the story of Noland regarding the island, or more importantly the giant golden bell these were clearly meant to represent or resemble.

Robin smiles around her cup "At least it's proof there was a civilization here at some point, you don't melt your resources into ingots unless you have a more advanced trading system than simple barter, after all an ingot has no inherent use, other than the resources it's made of, but if it represents something, such as say 1,000,000 berri then you can buy things with the bell" she explains, hopefully well enough her slightly drunk crewmates understood, if the nods were genuine then they did

"So the city of gold is real" Nami swoons, hugging one of the bells against her chest

"And the golden bell of the story" Usopp adds with a smile

"And sky islands" Luffy finishes

"one more thing" Cricket reveals another golden statue, this of a bird "The call, far as anyone can tell, is of a south bird, they still exist and actually be found on Jaya to this day

Mashira nods "Yeah, in the old days sailors used to use the south bird to navi…." He stops, and both monkeys and Crickey let out a yell

"What's wrong?" Victor asks

"You all need to head into the forest in the south side of Jaya right away"

"Why?" Nami asks

"You're looking for the knock up stream, which is directly south of this island, how do you plan to get there?" Cricket asks

"Sail due south of course" Luffy answers like Cricket is the idiot, meanwhile Kaos groans and Nami's eyes widen, both realising the problem

"You dumbass, have you forgotten you're in the Grand Line? Compasses don't work out here and Log Pose only point to the next or specific islands" Cricket yells, hitting the straw hat boy "What you need is the South Bird. Like the name suggests, if left to it's own devices it will point itself due south, which is exactly what you need for this to work"

"So we need to find this bird or else we have no chance of getting to the Knock Up Stream in time" Vivi summarises, to which Cricket nods

"Pretty much. Now get moving, you need to have the bird by morning or you can kiss your chances of seeing Sky Island goodbye, We'll stay here and work on the repairs to the ship" The entire crew bolt from the house, catching the nets Mashira tosses them along the way "In hind sight, maybe that party wasn't the best plan" he thinks aloud

"Probably true boss, but it was fun" Shoujou agrees with a shrug

 _In the forest_

Between spider, centipedes, moths, quicksand and a purple fish headed bird being an asshole, let's just say it wasn't a good night for the straw hats, though Luffy did find some nice beetles for his collection, Usopp found a friendly tarantula, and Zoro found every puddle of quicksand/sinking mud in the forest… in hind sight it may have been a good idea to put a rope around his waist to stop him waking off and getting lost as usual. The fact Cricket forgot to mention the bird appeared to be able to control insects was a pain in the ass, though at least most of the bugs could be easily beaten and those that weren't could be outrun, but with every wave of bugs there was a growing urge to pluck and roast the damn bird rather than use it as a living compass. The only reason they managed to catch one in the end, was because one of them got cocky when the crew were about to give up, bouncing around on a branch and left itself wide open to Robin grabbing it, thought it was only her immense restraint she didn't also wring it's damn neck

 _Back we go to Cricket and the monkeys_

"Hey old guy, we got one of the birds, you forgot to mention they're dicks" Luffy shouts as they exit the forest… and stop dead at the devastation in front of them.

"Holy shit what happened here?" Alvida gasps

"Cricket!" Vivi yelps as she sees the beaten body of the old man

"Mashira" Valentina adds, grimacing when she sees the large gash in his back

"Shoujou too" Sanji says before jumping in to pull the man back to land

"The Merry's been split in 2" Kaya meeps

"What!" Usopp screams "Who would do such a thing?"

"Sorry about the mess kids" Cricket coughs as he comes too and sees the Straw Hats were back "Looks like I'm not as strong as I used to be, doesn't help that bastard likes to use sneak attacks to win" he growls then slowly pulls himself up "But there's still a lot of work to do, if that ship is going to fly tomorrow"

Luffy is quickly by his side, steadying him "Hold it chestnut head, what happened, who did this?"

Cricket grmaces "Doesn't matter, what's more important is…" he smiles as he see's Zoro holding the South Bird upside down by it's ankles "Well I'll be damned you did catch one"

"They're assholes, you forgot to mention that" the swordsman grumbles, as the bird howls once more

"Luffy!" at his name being called the rubber boy turns from Cricket to Nami "Cricket's gold, it's gone"

The anger flowing from the straw hat crew could be felt in the air, thick and heavy on Cricket and the monkeys, thought they were glad not to be the targets of this rage

"Who did this?" Kaos asks again, this time there was no room for dismissal

"Some punk with spring powers, has the strength of a pirate, but none of the heart, he's a coward who's afraid to dream" Cricket grumbles, hoping to sidestep the issue

"He means Bellemy, that punk who you punched through a wall after he groped Vivi" Kaos translates

"HE DID WHAT?!" Sanji and Alvida shout

"Nobody gets away with touching princess Vivi while I'm around"

"Nobody gets to touch Vivi's tits but me and Luffy" [You can figure out who said what without me telling you, right?]

"Hey look a nightlight, that should help the alliance fix Merry" Despite the circumstances Kaos couldn't resist a the joke when he saw the bluenette's luminous blush "Need a hand?" he then asks Luffy who shakes his head

"Robin, if I follow the coast will I get to Mock Town?" Luffy ask, his voice devoid of life

"It should" Robin answers with a shrug

Cricket rises to his knees "Don't be stupid kid, there are more important things than some gold"

"You make the ship good enough to sail on, I'll be back by morning" Luffy orders and reassures, cracking his knuckles before running straight for Mock Town. Straight for Bellemy.

TBC

LW: Well, seems the punch to the face Luffy gave him in the previous chapter didn't teach Bellemy to not be a dick.

Hope you enjoyed this, see you all next time.


	45. Beat Down and Rise Up

LW: So, this is shorter than normal, I blame the stuff with the marines not giving me anything worth changing/writing. Anyway, up, up and away :D

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Beat Down and Rise Up

"110 million for a runt like you, the marines must have made some kind of mistake" Bellemy laughs as he stares down the silently glaring straw hat, Luffy not speaking a word other than to call the blond out of the bar. He then proceeds to spring onto the roof Luffy was standing on "Only good thing is beating you black and blue will make my bounty rise even higher, and show the world dreamers don't belong on the ocean any more"

Luffy snorts "And when I'm done kicking your ass, I'm taking back Cricket's gold, bringing it back to him and heading for the sky in the morning" he says, cracking his knuckles

"Hahahaha, you stupid brat, there is no island in the sky, I'm going to teach you that even if I have to beat it into your thick…"

 **Gum Gum Battle Axe**

Bellemy didn't get to finish that remark, mostly because Luffy's kick took him out as well as the building they were both standing on, Luffy walking away like nothing happened until he was standing in front of the remainder of the blonde's scared shitless crew "The Gold. NOW!" they were gone fast enough to leave smoke trails, then dropping the gold in a bag at the rubber boy's feet. He threw it over his shoulder without comment and went back the way he came, leaving the pirates to fish their unconscious captain out of the wreckage, and the rest of Mock Town counting their blessings Luffy hadn't been there for them

[I know the fight was longer in the anime, though Luffy still 1 hit KO'd the spring dick, I just thought skipping his monologue and generally dumbassery was a good nut shot to his ego]

 _Meanwhile with the rest of the crew_

"This guys are making swift work on the repairs" Nami notes, staying out of the way of the Alliance, Usopp, Victor, Kaos and Zoro (he was conscripted for heavy lifting duties)

"And given they were beaten unconscious and Mashira nearly got his spine removed, they really are quite a strong bunch" Vivi adds, then sighs "I really hope Luffy isn't biting off more than he can handle going after Bellemy"

"Those idiots can't even touch the captain, if there was any chance of Luffy getting hurt then Kaos, Zoro or both of them would have insisted on going with him, rather than just letting him run off" Robin assures, cradling a sleeping Artemis to her chest, the red head mumbling incoherently

"At least someone has the right idea" Alvida mumbles, not able to get any shut eye with how bad the ground was as a bed, though Valentina didn't seem to care, snoring quietly not that far from the other girls

 _The next day_

"Where's that moron, we're going to miss the Knock Up Stream if he takes any longer" Nami complains, she may not want to risk her life like this, but not doing so simply because their captain was a no show would annoy her more than relive her.

"Maybe one of us should have gone with him" Zoro suggests, passing the time sparing with Kaos, the taller straw hat keeping the swordsman out of his usual striking range as well as bouncing around to avoid speed strikes.

"You don't think something bad happened to him, do you?" Artemis asks

"If they didn't I'm going to" the navigator replies, fists clenched in her pants

"Hey! Guys!"

"Luffy!" everyone yells as they see the boy running towards them with a bag on his back

"I got Crickets gold, and I found a Hercules beetle on the way back" the straw hat teen cheers, waving the bug in the air. He then stops when he sees the new improved Merry, decked out with wings and off additions which turned the Lamb at the front into a messed up chicken "That's…. so cool!"

Usopp grins "May I present to you the Merry Mark 2, flying edition"

"It can fly?" Luffy gasps

"Yes, thanks to the work of the Sarayama alliance and the elbow grease of the rest of the lads in the crew we have a new and improved ship ready for the voyage ahead" Alvida explains

After returning the gold to Cricket, who took it without response, Luffy thanked the monkey men and their crew before hoping onto the Merry and giving the order they were all waiting for, to set sail for the Knock Up Stream, and the Sky Island.

Things were pretty chill for a while, mostly comprised of Luffy tormenting the South bird, or trying to get the others to relax a little, until like most things in the Grand Line the cumuloregalus cloud decided to ignore the rules and showed up early, setting everyone into a frenzy of action as they frantically searched for signs of the Knock Up Stream about to erupt. Which they managed to locate and sail towards, leading to the Merry as well as both monkey's boats hopping around in the rough waves, a signal of an upcoming Stream, and usually a sign to get the Hell out of dodge.

"Nami, what does the Log Pose say?" Robin shouts, breaking the red head from her frozen shock

"Um, it's pointing directly at the cloud"

"So the theory must be true then, the cloud does hold the sky island" Valentina says with a grin, holding the steering rod steady as the ship rocks.

"We're about to find out" Kaos responds as the Monkeys clamp onto the Merry "Hm?"

"We're leading you closer, head for the centre and everything should go smoothly" Mashira shouts

"He wants us to go to the centre? Of that!" Nami shrieks, as the size of the whirlpool in front of them is finally revealed

"Well, it was nice knowing you guys" Artemis deadpans, before hiding inside along with Valentina, Carue and Lasoo

"I don't wanna die, quick lets turn back, that sounds great doesn't it?" Ussop asks, practically begs

"Too late, Captain's excited and we're locked in, best hold onto the ship and your ass, then just let the ship take us to the sky" Victor replies, partly to calm and also to point out a simple fact: Luffy wants this, they're not changing course.

The sea king popping up right next to them, then getting sucked into the whirlpool may have killed some of the enthusiasm, mostly in Chopper, who went from cheering to scared, but mostly was a sign for those who didn't want to go that this was a bad idea

"It's time for us to go, you're on your own from here" Mashira says as he unclamps the Merry, him and Shoujou sailing their ships away, despite protest from a few of the now paniked Straw Hats

"Bye, see you later" Luffy calls with a wave, then cheerily looks into the abyss with Kaos, the other having his hat over his eyes "Think we're ready?"

"The fuck if I know, we better" was the purplette's answer, as Luffy had expected.

Shouting, screaming and even pleading for Luffy to let them turn back lasted for practically the entire time they were being pulled towards the whirlpool, Kaos 'helpfully' pointing out they'd passed the point of no return… yesterday, to Nami's annoyance. The weird thing was, when they reached what was supposed to be the centre of the vortex, nothing happened. The sea turned flat calm, which just unnerved the crew

Until 2 words left their navigator's lips "It's starting"

"You sure Nami swan?" Sanji asks

"Yes, I can feel it" she squeaks "We're right in the path of the Knock Up Stream"

"Stop right there!" a voice called from somewhere behind them

"Hey guys, we have company" Vivi calls, Luffy bouncing over to see who

"Hey it's that fat, scruffy guy from Jaya" he notes "looks like he has an even smaller crew than we did when we entered the Grand Line" and he was right, including Blackbeard there were only 4 of them on the boat

"Straw Hat Luffy, I'm come all this way to collect on the 110 million beri bounty, might even take the rest of your crew while I'm at it. No need to be shy boy Zehahaha!"

"This man has really shitty timing" Alvida mumbles, getting nods from a few of the others

"We can take him" Zoro assures them, readying his blades while Kaos sighs deeply

"We don't have time for this crap" he groans, just as the ship begins to rise "See what I mean"

"Everyone hold onto something, or get inside, this isn't going to be a nice trip" Sanji warns, checking all the girls are safe before securing himself (the guys can all fall off the side of the ship for all he cares)

 **WHOOOOOM**

' _HOLY SHIT!'_

"We're sailing upwards"

"Just like Reverse Mountain, again"

"Only we didn't get shot out of a cannon last time"

"This is so cool, Skypeia here we come!"

Things were going well until the Merry started to loose it's connection to the stream, it's nose rising and beginning to mess with it's balance. Luckily Nami realised they could use the Merry's sails to catch the energy and wind flow coming off the explosive Knock Up Stream to help keep them on the path, so once they got the sails open they actually began to rise faster, to the point it was practically flying, to the amusement of a few of her crewmates, soaring higher and higher until it finally pierces the cloud layer, shooting into the air and dropping onto something, knocking everyone to the ground

"Okay, who's not dead?" Kaos wheezes, like most of the others lying spread eagle on the deck of the Merry

"Look's like everyone's alive, though I wouldn't call anyone's condition as good" Sanji answers, breathing slowly and deliberately like the few sitting members, mostly Zoro and Robin

"Hey guys, come look at this" Luffy chirps, looking annoyingly cheerful and hyper, making a few of them want to punch him. They still did as asked, and found themselves surrounded by clouds, or something similar to it which the ship was actually floating on

"This is impossible" Nami whispers "How are we doing this, we should have fallen back through the cloud already"

"Boats float, clouds float, same thing" Luffy dismisses with a shrug, getting a punch from Nami and Vivi

"No it isn't!"

"It's like an ocean of clouds" Victor summarises, surprised and impressed, the Grand Line keeps getting weirder

Nami nods then frowns deeply "We have another problem guys" she says, holding out her arm "The log pose is still pointing up"

Robin chuckles "So I guess that means we're somewhere in the middle of the regalus, and more elevation is required"

"What? How are we supposed to get higher, it took the Knock Up Stream to get us this far?" Valentina asks, not seeing any way around that

Given there was no danger, stupid occurred as per usual with this crew, in this case Usopp decides to take a dip in the White Sea, Luffy and Chopper happy to let him… until a little later Robin pointed out an ocean in the sky probably didn't have a bottom like the Blue seas, but instead opened out into the sky. This sent everyone into a panic, Luffy stretching his arms and Kaya forming candy tentacles in order to try find Usopp, Robin blooming eyes onto the appendages so they could locate Usopp and therefore have better than pure luck when it came to actually retrieving him. When Robin managed to find Usopp Kaya's syrup stuck fast, as well as wrapping itself around his bare chest, then pulling him back in like a fish on a hook, a comparison Alvida actually made (well more about hooking her man) and was promptly head slapped by Nami and Kaos. Luffy on the other hand, managed to find sky fish, possibly even Sky Sea Kings, hard to tell when they popped like balloons when Zoro struck one, while the other deflated when Sanji kicked it.

"It's hard to breath up here, air's pretty thin" Zoro pants while the others were examining the fish Sanji knocked into the side of the Merry, as well as the ones accidentally 'caught' by Kaya's fishing line.

"Well we are incredibly high in the sky Zoro, it's like being on top of a mountain but even more so" Robin explains, poking and prodding at the small blue fish in her hand, at least until it gets taken away by Sanji and made into food "It seems the creatures up here have evolved to better survive in this sky sea, getting lighter, more elastic body and forming inflatable organs, all of which can help catch prey, deter predators, or simply make swimming in the sky easier" she then smiles after accepting a plate from Sanji, the sky fish tasting even better than Noland's journel led them to believe after the 2 blonds got their hands on it.

A small thump caught their attention, Chopper falling off the side of the ship, clearly in shock "What's wrong Chopper?" Vivi asks, helping the reindeer up

"I saw another ship, but something attacked it, it's gone now" he explains fearfully, a shiver running down their spines; they weren't alone, and what was up here wasn't friendly

"So there are sky pirates?" Luffy asks, this time not getting head slapped as they really had no clue what was up here.

"We don't know… ah fuck, we got another weirdo heading in our direction" Alvida groans, looking the same way she was the crew saw a man in a mask sliding towards them "Oy, what do you want?"

"To destroy you!" the man answers, at least he was direct about it, kicking Sanji in the face as he landed on the deck of the Merry

"How about no?" Kaos responds, readying his weapon like the others. Unfortuntely for them (despite Nami's 'encouragement' which was yelling at them to do better) the masked man was able to jump and weave his way around the deck, kicking their asses before jumping off the ship and readying his bazooka and preparing to fire

"We're boned" Valentina sighs, seeing stars from the kick to the face

Luckily God hears prayers of 'I don't want to die' as a knight on a winged horse appeared and attacked the other man, who had to stop trying to blow up the ship in order to block the older man's lance, the knight landing on the side of the ship where he steps down and looks over the Straw Hats

"Another one, just who are you?" Nami asks, having enough for one day of these nutters

"You may call me the Sky Knight" the man says, his bird dropping down beside him as he steps off the side and other the main deck of the Merry.

"What the Hell was going one, and more importantly what was that?" she directs the 2nd question at the panting and nearly collapsed fighters on deck "You had him at a major disadvantage, numbers and most likely power, and he still kicked your as…" Kaos pulled himself to a standing position… mostly so he could wrap his hand around Nami's face and slam her into the deck.

"Feel free to fucking participate next fucking time you ginger bitch" he growls before falling over

"Why does it hurt so much to move, and breath?" Luffy whines, panting like veryone else

"It must be the thin air, there's not enough oxygen, or your body hasn't quite realised there's so little and so you can't get enough energy into your body in order to fight well" Robin theorises, getting a nod from the Sky Knight, making her smirk

The sky knight looks them over appraisingly "You must all be Blue Sea people" he notes out loud

"Blue Sea?" Vivi asks

"What we call people who come from below the clouds, you're currently on the White Sea, 7,000 m up" the Sky knight explains "The White White Sea is further up, about 10,000 m up, ordinary blue sea people can't handle that kind of terrain"

"Who said anything about ordinary?" Luffy responds with a D grin

"He's right, I think I'm getting used to it, or at least it's not hurting to breath" Alvida and Zoro add, the woman stands while the swordsman is content to remain sitting for now. Either way the sky knight is surprised by their recovery speed

"Um, Mr Sky Knight" Chopper pipes in, getting the old man's attention "Who was that guy, and why did he attack us?"

"Hold your wings, I'm sure you have questions but we need to handle business first"

"Business?" Nami asks, having recovered from her faceplant and was now standing, the scent of money most liely helped

"I'm what you call a solider for hire…"

"So were we, mercenaries aren't a Blue Sea exclusive club I guess" Victor jokes, getting a nod from Valentina and Artemis, while Robin just smiles

"…anyway. The White Sea is quite a dangerous place, with many gurilla's more than happy to sink your vessel and have you feed the sky fish, but if you purchase a 5million extol warn whistle I can protect you"

"5 million extol?"

The old man looks to be annoyed by the question "Listen here, that is a very good price and I can't afford to lower it any more, I have to make a living myself after all"

"That's nice, but we still have no clue what extol are" Sanji explains

"What? But you must have come here from the Sumit of High West right? You've got to have passed an island or two since then"

"High what? No, we used the Knock Up Stream" Luffy answers

The Sky Knight appeared shocked "Seriously, there are still people who use that monsterous current? Did you loose anyone on the trip?"

"No, we're good, everyone was fine" Luffy replies dodging an angry Nami's attempt to strangle him for sending them on a suicide mission

"Good to hear, had you used any other method you would have lost a good few, where as the Knock Up Stream has 2 possible outcomes, everyone lives, or everyone dies. Not many people are willing to risk it all, especially these days, you have quite a talented navigational crew there boy"

"We don't mean to brag" Usopp begins but gets knocked aside by Nami, who catchs the whistle tossed to her

"This is the One whistle blow it and I shall come. As I said, normally I would charge you 5 million extol, but consider it a gift for today, as a good job for suriving that current. Good day"

"Wait, we still don't know your name" Vivi shouts

"I am Ganfal. And this is my friend Pier" he says pointing to his bird, which then began shifting and contorting, sounding painful even if it wasn't "And he's no ordinary bird, some time ago he ate a horse horse fruit, meaning he can now transform into a Pegasus" that sounded impressive, but the end result really was underwhelming, and a disappointment for the girls. Ganfall got on Piere's back and the bird horse rode into the sky, leaving the Straw Hats to whatever.

"Well, that happened"

"He didn't really tell us anything useful did he?" Artemis asks, getting shaken heads from those near by

"So, any idea what we do next? Or where to go?" Zoro asks

"I know we can call the old man back and ask him" Luffy suggests, getting headslapped by Nami for being stupid

"We could try over there" Kaya suggests, pointing to something that resembled a waterfall "It is the only landmark in sight, so either it helps us get higher, or there will be people there to ask for directions"

"Good plan Kaya. Valentina, Nami, set course for that thing" Luffy orders, the 2 girls nod and get the Merry sailing again. Well it was until they reached an oddly solid piece of cloud blocking their path, finding it functioned like the ground and at times like a trampoline, Luffy had to play with it, joined shortly by Usopp and Chopper, Artemis kept on the ship by Robin, much to the young girls annoyance. Good news came when Usopp spotted some kind of gate just in front of the 'waterfall', and all they had to do was go around the 'solid cloud', so while suspicious a man made structure should mean people, so if nothing else they can ask the people there what the Hell was going on

"Well, that's definitely a gate" Kaos deadpans, as what else can you call an arch with 'Heaven's Gate' written on top of it

"Let's go through it" Luffy cheers, grinning like a loon from the Merry head

"Hey guys, we've been spotted" Artemis says, pointing to the old lady taking pictures of them from the side of the gate

"Well, that can't be good" Alvida sighs, then blinks "Um am I seeing things or doe she…"

"Have wings, yes she does Kyahaha" valentina replies, laughing as the strangeness just keeps coming

"Um Hello Miss" Vivi greets

"I am Amazon, Heaven's Gate inspector. State your business: Sightseeing, Warmongering, Other"

"I think what we're doing counts as sightseeing" Nami suggests

"We're going to the Sky Islands if they're through this gate we're going through" Luffy adds

"Can we just say all of the above and move on?" Zoro asks with a grunt

"It makes no difference to me, but passing through the gate requires you to pay the entrance fee, of 1 billion Extol"

"1 BILLION!"

"Per person" the wrinkled old bird lady adds

"Um we still don't know what the exchange rate is, Kaos pipes in, lowering the panic…. slightly

"I doubt it matters, 1 billion anything is a lot, and per person means the price for the crew is 14 billion" Robin adds up, making Nami want to die in a corner, or at least curl up and be forgotten

"This seems weird, 1 billion just to pass through an arch, think she's trying to scam us?" Usopp asks, getting a head slap before the navigator to slip infront of Vivi

"Um about this entrance fee, what if we don't have it?" she asks

"Then you can still pass" the angel replies

"Well, I'm officially confused" Kaos admits, most of the crew nodding in agreement, this lady is confusing them

"It's not like I can stop you after all. My job isn't to guard the gate, just to ask your intention as well as that you pay the entrance fee"

"Pretty simple job then" Valentina notes "Also pretty pointless too"

"Okay then, well we still want to go up, but we don't have the money, so we're going up anyway" Luffy shouts

"Okay. The 14 of you?" she asks

"Yeah. Only we don't know how to get up" Luffy answers, then looks confused until something clamps onto the sides of the ship, at which point confusion becomes panic

"The White Sea's Express Lobster. Good bye Blue sea people" the angel says, the giant lobsters leading the Merry towards and then up the waterfall

 **This is Gate inspector Amazon to the Great God and his priests, I bear tidings. 14 illegal instances** (Sounds like an SCP outbreak) **have entered God's Land Skypeia, bestow upon them Heaven's Judgement!**

TBC

LW: Well, we're in the sky, not quite Skypeia, but as you can tell we're just a small distance away, only 3,000m.


	46. Enter God's Land

LW: Does anyone think Skypeia is ready for the Straw Hats? Yeah probably not.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Enter God's Land

"My money says we survive this" Sanji says as the lobster takes them higher and higher

"Sucker's bet, mostly because money doesn't mean shit when you're dead" Kaos responds

"Besides, how do you know we aren't already dead, and this is just how pirates enter the afterlife?" Robin asks with a curious tone, sending shivers down the spine of anyone who considered it.

"Luffy's killed us, I don't want to head into the light" Usopp whines, as they near the top of the cloud formation

"Hey look, we're nearly there, they even put up a sign telling us we're arrived" Chopper cheers

"Godland Skypeia, what's that?" Vivi wonders

Alvida smirks "Our destination, Skypeia was the name on that map we found wasn't it?" Luffy nods, grinning widely as he held onto the head of the Merry

"We made it, yahoo!" he shouts gleefully as they shoot into the air, landing on more water type clouds, bobbing along as land enters their field of view

"Well, I'm officially confused, who's with me?" everyone agrees with the researcher, how was there solid ground (or at least what looked like solid ground) all the way up here?

This is so cool! I'm going exploring" Luffy announces before jumping of the ship into the shallow clouds, Usopp and Chopper following him

"Hey Luffy, what do we do about the anchor, there isn't exactly a sea bed to hit when we let it go" Zoro calls, getting the expected answer from the captain

"I don't know, just drop it and see what happens"

Zoro sighs but does as asked, then spots Kaos watching from the edge of the Merry "Seems the clouds beneath are sturdy enough to keep us secure" he nods in understanding "Have to say, it's weird to see you without that cloak of yours"

Kaos chuckles but he knows the swordsman is right "It's warmer here, I'm wearing all I need" he replies, referring to the waistcoat and loose fitting pants he was currently wearing, having even removed his shoes much like Sanji who had just followed the others off the front of the ship "Think we should wait for the girls?"

Zoro shrugs "They should be fine…" he begins but stops when Nami is chased out by the south bird "Oh, that fucker is still around" he hums, noticing the blue bikini top the red head was currently wearing as she ran past

"We really should have let him go when we were waiting for the Knock Up Stream, think he'll be okay?" Kaya asks, now wearing a light yellow bikini top and long skirt

"He'll be fine, and if not there should be people around to care for the bastard" Valentina replies, forgoing her jacket but wearing a lemon yellow coloured dress and green flats.

"The boarding party appears to basically be everyone, are you coming boys?" Robin asks Kaos and Zoro, the taller chuckles while the swordsman doesn't really react

"I'm coming, I'm coming, somebody needs to try keeping Luffy in line"

"And get blamed when Vivi fails to do that?" Victor teases, Kaos flips him the bird and jumps off the ship, then walks towards the cloud-land with curiosity his only discernable expression.

Amusement managed to bubble to the surface once he noticed Luffy had found food… which upon discovering had skin like stone decided to attack Usopp with them. He turns to see what the others were doing when he see's a very confused Robin pulling a flower from her hair, Artemis had one too, she just left it peeking out from under her hat

"Sanji get to you?" he asks with a smirk, which shrinks when he frown remains

"I don't know what this is" she admits "Well besides a flower I mean"

"Well we can ask the locals, when we find some locals" Kaos suggests, the archaeologist nods

"Might as well try, I don't normally have 1st had sources in my line of work" she says, most likely as an attempt at a joke, then lets it die and merely points to Zoro who had accidentally found a…cloud-fox?

"Anyone else hear music?" Vivi calls and once the ruckus that follows the Straw Hats was quieted she was right, there was gentle harp music, setting off alarm bells in a few of their minds

"It's coming from over there!" Kaya shouts, and low and behold there was someone standing on the cloud, strumming a harp

"is it a monster?"

"Where's the whistle, the Sky Knight could save us"

"Think we can take her?"

"Everyone quiet down" Sanji demands "We don't need to worry, for that there, is an angel"

"Angel?" some of the others repeat, then eyes widen when they see Sanji wasn't just being his usual chivalrous pervert, the girl playing the harp, had small white wings, like a dove… or angel. She also had antenna, but they blended in with her hair so were less noticeable than the wings

Quack

"No we're not dead, that girl just happens to have angel wings" Chopper answers, then his words register in his brain and panic fills him

"Hesu"

"Think that's her name, of how they say hello?" Nami asks Robin who raises an eyebrow and shrugs

"Come here Su" the angel repeats, causing the fox to jump off Zoro and run to her feet "Hello, you must be from the Blue Sea"

"That's what the old guy called it" Artemis agrees

"Well I am Conis, and I welcome you to Skypeia. This is angel beach" Connis turns to Luffy "I bet you want to drink that" she says, pointing to the rock fruit Luffy was still carrying around

"Yeah, its food right?"

Conis laughs "Of course it is, it's just the top is hard as steel, so you have to cut in from below and then you can drink the juice with no difficulty at all" she explains as Luffy allows her to flip it in his hands and cut a small hole in the centre, which he chugs from and then bounces in joy, rushing over to Vivi and Alvida to share with them

"I'm sure you have questions, ask me anything" the angel smiles, Sanji attempts to flirt until Nami grabs him by the ear and tries to drag him away, only to be distracted by an approaching vessel

"Conis what's that?" she points

"Oh that's my father and his Waver. Hesu Father"

"Hesu daughter, and friends" the balding man greets

"Can't they just say hello like normal people?" Luffy wonder aloud, getting lightly head slapped by Vivi

"Try to be respectful Luffy" she scolds

"Plus they're bird people Lu, they ain't normal" Alvida says with a laugh, which Luffy joins in with, until both get slapped by Vivi

"Children, I'm surrounded by children" she grumbles, then smiles as they hug her, until Alvida pinches her ass

"Should we worry about them?" Valentina stage whispers

"Nah, they'll be fine" Kaos hand waves, much like the others interested in the Sky Waver… until it nearly killed them "Watch where you're going you crazy bastard!"

The man groans as he stands up "Is everyone okay?"

"Besides you I think everyone's fine" Vivi replies

"Father these people have just arrived from the Blue Sea World" Conis explains, getting a nod from the man

"Ah, so still adjusting to the White White Sea then. My name is Paguya"

"Hey"

"How was the fishing father?" Conis asks getting a smile, or as visible as one from someone with such a thick beard

"It was good my dear" he then stops and turns to the Straw Hats "I say, you should come over for dinner, get a taste of Skypeia" he offers, food being a good reason for most of them to agree, Sanji and Valentina even volunteering to help.

Hey Paguya" Nami calls "Before I forget, how does the waver work? It doesn't have sails and you clearly weren't rowing it" she wonders and Conis blinks

"Oh, I forgot you Blue Sea people wouldn't know about Dials"

"What are dials?" Luffy asks, proving her point perfectly

 _2 minutes later_

"That looked like it hurt" Artemis notes as they all watch Luffy figuratively crash and burn in his attempt to drive the Waver

Paguya droops "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have let a rookie use the waver" he says with a sigh

"On that we can agree, especially someone like Luffy who either didn't understand or didn't retain what little instructions you gave him" Robin agrees, just before Zoro heads out to retrieve their idiot captain before he drowns

"I'm sorry about that, with it's light body even the gentlest wave could tilt the ruder, meaning unless you know the White White Sea like the back of your hand, the Waver is between incredibly difficult to impossible to use" Paguya explains

Kaos chuckles and points to the red head "Let Nami have a go, I bet she gets it right first try"

"That's silly, it can take up to 10 years to…" the bearded angel is ignored as Nami takes the Waver and as expected handles it like she's been riding it her whole life "But how?"

"Nami's our navigator; her job is to understand the sea so we don't get lost or caught in a typhoon with our pants down. Even amongst those with her job description Nami has always been, exceedingly gifted in this area of expertise" Kaos explains, not exactly lying, more making assumptions and running with them along with giving the honest truth

Conis stares out with wide eyes and a wider grin "She's incredible, I've only just gotten good at using the waver and she makes it look easy"

"If it's aquatic Nami can sail it" Sanji says with a proud smile

"Think you can do anything like that?" Victor asks his friend "Or at least do better than Luffy?"

"No to the first, Fuck yeah to the second" Valentina answers, getting chuckles from the group

"Nami, get back here, we're supposed to be getting fed" Luffy shouts

"I'm fine, if it's alright with Paguya I'd like to keep going for a bit. Catch you later?"

Paguya laughs, who was he to deny such a skilled rider "Sure thing, our home is just over there, leave the waver on the beach and come up when you get hungry" he calls back, Nami gives a passable impression of a D grin before continuing to play with the Waver.

Along the way Paguya explains about the cloud factory as well as the 2 types of cloud in Skypeia, adding that it was due to Sea Prism Stone that their clouds behave differently to the Blue Sea Clouds, a fact which had the Devil Fruit users spit take, given the last time that material came up it was to render their kind as limp noodles.

With Paguya, Sanji and Valentina commandeering the kitchen (You could hear the complaining from the other side of the house) Robin decided now was the best time to return to the topic of dials, having gotten side tracked by the waver last time. Conis was happy to explain and demonstrate her island's technology to the crew.

"Luffy please talk into the shell" she asks, the straw hat kid shrugs but does so

"Usopp stinks"

"Why me?" the sniper moans, to which Kaya pats his back and Alvida chuckles

"Good, now press down on the apex of the shell"

"Um"

"The point, the other end to the opening" Kaos explains, Luffy nods his head and pressed down on the end, depressing it like a button

" _ **Usopp stinks"**_

"Great now the furniture is making fun of me"

"So the shell stores sound? Interesting" Zoro hums

"So those shells, are dials. What else can they do?" Robin asks

Conis nods "Yes, this is called a Tone Dial, it records and replays any sound made nearby" she explains, then walks over to another shell sitting on the table "As for this one, I mentioned previously that my father's waver was powered by a dial, well this is a smaller version but it should give you a picture" she says, holding it up to a wind chime and pressing it's apex, a light breeze escapes and jostles the item "This one is a Breath Dial, which can store the wind and release it at any time you desire" Luffy then asks to play with it and she allows, mostly because even with as little time spent with the crew as she had, she knew watching him mess with the dials would be entertaining

"So what other dials are there?" Victor asks, these things were strange but interesting

"Well the one on the table over there is a Lamp Dial. We also have Flame Dials to store fire or simply heat, Aroma Dials which hold scents and even Vision Dials which record what you see and can be watched again and again"

"I think we have something that does that last one too, only ours are still alive rather than just the carcass" Kaos hums, Robin nodding as Visual Den Den Mushi did spring to mind at that last dial

"Really, guess some things mirror throughout the Seas" Conis notes with a smile

 _A little later_

"Food is served. Tonight we have Sky Lobster with secret sauce, and some Sky fruits I can't pronounce for the life of me" Sanji explains as he sets food on the table for everyone

"Better to admit you can't than butcher their language and words" Kaos responds with a respectful nod, which Sanji returns

"Hey does anyone know where Nami is?" he asks, looking out over the balcony

"Probably still playing with the Waver" Luffy answers, still a little bitter about how good Nami was especially compared to his disastrous attempt "Why?"

"I can't see her"

"She probably went out too far to been seen from here, the girl knows her currents and clouds she'll be fine" Zoro adds, almost sounding comforting to the cook

Conis tenses and her fearful expression is noticed

"What's wrong?" Vivi asks

The angel bites her lip "There's a place in the clouds that is forbidden to land on. It's called Upper Yard and is just a short trip from here by waver"

Kaos sighs "For a coward, Nami will probably have entered that place, and it's going to bite us in the ass later" he rubs the back of his neck and frowns

"You're scared" Robin hums, then points to his neck "The hairs are standing up" which causes the frown to deepen

"Yep, Nami's just fucked us all" he groans, head in hands

"So what's wrong with Upper Yard? Is it full of monsters or something?" Luffy asks

"No, it's sacred ground" Conis replies

"Sacred ground?" Artemis repeats, looking confused

Conis looks awkward before answering "The island, it's where God lives" she finally says, the crew spit take at the information

"Of course it fucking is"

Vivi's eyebrows shoot into her hair "This is the kingdom of Rao?" she asks, looking both fearful and … hopeful?

"No" Robin answers flatly, then glares when Kaos flicks her in the side of her head

"What she means is whoever the 'God' of Skypeia is, he's not one of the Gods of Alabasta. In fact he's probably not even divine, just someone with a god complex and superhuman abilities" Kaos explains, resisting the urge to smirk when thunder rolls in the clear sky when he said that

'… _on an island like Alabasta I'm not a just a mere king or Warlord, I'm a God_ ' Vivi remembers, her fists clench in her lap "It's a logia isn't it? That's the God of Skypeia" she asks, getting a tired sigh from Kaos and confused look from Conis.

"Pretty much, my brain is pinging off something for a while now and given there's no point of origin the only option is Logia"

"Isn't there some way to focus on the source?" Chopper asks, to which the purplette shakes his head

"Maybe you should develop a mantra or something" Valentina suggests as a joke, causing the 2 angels to spit take "Something I said?" she wonders in confusion

"Mantra?" Paguya repeats

"A sound, word or phrase used in meditation" Robin explains

"You did look like you were napping on Scissors when you were trying to find Luffy" Sanji adds in agreement "Sounds like meditation to me"

"How about, Azarath Metriom Zin…" Luffy gets punched in the face from across the table before he could finish

"How about no?"

"Back to the point of this argument, how likely is it Nami found her way to the big man…" Alvida begins

"God's name is Enaru" Conis adds, trying to help

"Okay… Still, chances of Nami stopping in Enaru's front yard anyone?"

"With this crew, 86%" Kaya guesses "Though that is factoring the 0.1% chance she fell off the waver and drowned"

"So the witch is flash fried" Zoro asks having been thought to have fallen asleep as usual until that moment

"Don't you dare say that about Nami" Sanji yells, about to kick the crap out of Zoro only for Robin to grab him and hold him still

"So Conis, does God look like all the stories, big guy, white beard, majestic throne of clouds? That last one makes sense given you make furniture out of clouds up here" Victors asks, causing the girl to go into panic mode again

"Of course not it's forbidden to enter the Yard, only God can reside in it"

"But if you haven't seen him, how do you know God is there, or I suppose is still there?" Usopp asks

"He sees all, and when things happen that he doesn't approve of, he shows his power. Also there are those who carry out his will"

"So… does this mean we're beating up God?" Luffy asks bluntly, causing Conis to develop palpitations, Usopp and Kaya to collapse to the ground and most of the others to face palm

"No Luffy, we're not beating up God just because we're passing through, he might not be a bad person besides his complex and general dickishness that usually accompanies it" Kaos answers, hopefully slowing his brother's desire for battle, at least for long enough for the pose to change.

Given Luffy was bound to say or do something else Robin decides to get as much information as she could from the angels before Luffy gave them heart attacks "Given it's forbidden by God, I bet there are quite severe consequences for entering the Upper Yard"

"Yes, there are severe punishments for disobeying any of the commands given by the Great God Enaru"

"Those that go to Upper Yard, never return alive. That is the answer to the question you're not asking, as well as how we know Enaru is still there" Paguya finishes, setting Sanji off as he begins to call for Nami from the balcony

"In that case, let's go get her from Upper Yard" Luffy decides… and there we go Conis is down

 _A few minutes later_

"Off we go to the place we're not supposed to" Luffy cheers from the Merry Head, which the others watch in amusement and worry

"I'm sorry my friends, the wind is quite unfavourable for your intended journey" Paguya states with a presumed frown, hard to tell with the beard

"Well how convenient" Alvida mutters

"The guy is God, shit like this is probably pretty easy" Zoro suggests "Or we're being bullshitted"

"If only the person we're looking for, wasn't also the person who understood how to navigate" Valentina complains

"We could put the sails on backwards, see if that helps" Luffy suggests

"Who's turn is it to pull Nami duty?" Kaos asks, getting the response in the form of Luffy getting head slapped by Kaya "Thank you"

Luckily they managed to distract Luffy by having him give Paguya the waver they found to him to repair, as otherwise the idiot would have most likely tried use is as is to go look for Nami. Also they managed to get another distraction in the form of a bunch of weirdoes yelling at them

"You on the beach, don't move" the apparent leader yells

"Does he mean us?" Luffy asks

"Yes Luffy, there's nobody else on the beach" Zoro answers from the boat, having not seen the point in moving

"Um, is there any reason they're doing that?" Chopper asks, referring to the group of men now army crawling towards them

"Nope, that's a stealth manoeuvre, and given he already revealed himself to us, as well as told us to stay put, it's kind of pointless" Kaos answers, hopping off the ship to join the boys on the beach

"White Berets assemble. Hesu" the leader stands, greeting the too natives with a salute of antennae behind his hat, Conis and Paguya awkwardly return the greeting, though not the gesture

"Are these guys the local military?" Zoro wonders, a few of the others noticing similarly that they held themselves the same way the marines back home did

"Most likely. Don't know why they're here though, Luffy hasn't broken anything yet" Vivi responds, Luffy giving her a mock glare

The leader steps forward "You must be the Blue Sea natives who illegally entered Godland Skypeia, prepare to face justice at the hands of the White Berets, prepare to face, Heaven's Judgement!" (Yep, definitely marines)

"The old lady snitched on us" Luffy gasps

"Is it really illegal if they let you enter? I mean it's not like the gate was even closed never mind locked" Usopp blusters

"Don't even try deny it, Lady Amazon already showed us the proof of your crime. Luckily illegal entry is only an 11th degree crime, and once you accept your punishment, which given the level will be minimal, you'll all become legal tourists and be allowed go about your business undisturbed" the Mcinna explains

"Probably should have started with that" Zoro grumbles

"So what's the punishment then?" Alvida asks, keeping a grip on her mace, just in case

"You just have to pay 10 times the original price, and if you do it right now we can pretend this incident never happened in the first place"

"Which I'm sure would either sound reasonable or like daylight robbery, if we knew how much an Extol was in Beri" Kaos thinks out loud

"Beri, that's the currency of the Blue Seas. The current exchange rate is 10,000 extol per beri"

"So, 10,000, carry the 1, divide by 13…" Usopp's eyes start to spin

"140 billion extol, which makes 14 million beri" Robin answers

"Holy shit, we don't have that kind of money!" Valentina screams

"Not that Nami would let us give away that much money even if we had it, Ship Treasurer" Artemis sing songs beside Kaos

"This is your own fault; if you'd paid the 1.4 million in the first place we wouldn't be having this discussion"

"Again, way too much to sail through an arch, we don't have it" this time Sanji was the one getting annoyed

The man frowns "This was your first warning, the white berets serve under the priests who are vassals of the great God Enaru, so arguing with us will only raise your crime's severity" he states, then grits his teeth when he realises the pirates had stopped caring already and were now ignoring him

"I'm starting to think Luffy's policy would work wonders right about now" Usopp mutters under his breath, causing a few raised eyebrows and Vivi to hide her face in her hands

"Please don't, Luffy can bounce back, you'll just get yourself and probably the rest of us killed" she says, though muffled by her hand

"Okay, seeing as we can't go looking for Nami given the 'wind' is unfavourable, how about we stay here and wait for her to come back" Kaya suggests, the rest seem okay with the idea, even if Luffy still wants to explore, luckily he was drawn into doing a little fishing by Usopp and Chopper, luckily without Carue being bait this time.

This was fine until the guys actually caught something, that something being a giant, angry looking lumpy yellow fish which after being pulled from the cloud sea proceeded to try devour Conis…

SLAM

…only for Alvida to knock the animal into the bank the 3 had been fishing from

"You saved my daughter, how can I possibly repay you?" Paguya asks, hugging Conis close to him, then tenses when he hears a chuckle filled with malice

"Well lookie here, this fish is so rare it's illegal to catch it, looks like you Blue Sea folk just committed a Level 9 crime"

"That thing just tried eat Conis, and how the hell were we supposed to know it was illegal to be caught until after we caught it?" Chopper asks angrily

"Besides, she didn't kill it, so if we throw it back into the sea it's like we never caught it" Usopp suggests, hoping to smooth things over until Luffy's stomach started acting up

"Yay, Sushi!"

"Luffy don't you dare"

The White Beret smirks "Eating an endangered fish is an 8th Degree crime"

"For fuck sake, you're making this stuff up, what do you have against Blue Sea people?" Zoro asks through gritted teeth, his hand clenched on Wado's hilt

"Are you about to try extort me? That's a 7th degree crime"

After picking the shattered tea cup from his hand Kaos gets up from the chair he'd been sitting in between Robin and Artemis and walked over to the idiots and Chopper "Can we just get to the violence Luffy, even Vivi looks on the end of her rope" he asks, pointing to the dark haze of anger and depression a foetal position Vivi was enveloped in

"I'm back" it seemed the universe wanted them to calm down for a minute as Nami chose this moment to return to the Upper Yard

"Nami-Swan, you have returned to me safe and sound" Sanji swoons, his noodle dance at least distracting the White Berets for a minute

"Nami, we need you to fork over 14 million beri to pay for the fine we got for coming into Skypeia without paying the toll" Usopp shouts

"That's fine, we pay the toll and everything good? Wait… did you say, 14 MILLION!" Nami pressed down on the waver's pedal, aiming for the White Berets captain "You're ripping us off!" she screams as she does, then jumps off before the waver could crash land anywhere

"Nami threw the first punch, that means everything else is free game right?" Luffy asks, Kaos unsure how to answer that

"Knocking out an official like that is a 5th degree crime" Paguya explains, as the other berets were busy checking on the man Nami just knocked into a wall

"We're really ranking up that aren't we?" Victor jokes, then sees Conis's worried look "Clearly we missed something, so help here?"

"Once you're found guilty of a level 5 crime, Enaru banishes you to the land of the drifting cloud"

"Or we could just go back down" Kaos points out, not that Luffy would go for it, this sounds like a good reason to fight Enaru, something he'd been hoping they'd be able to avoid

"What's that?" Luffy asks

"It's a death sentence, you die"

"That's kind of what a death sentence is birdie" Robin jokes, ignoring the panicked cries of the usual suspects

"They will put you and your ship on a cloud and set you off with no chance of rescue. You'll die a slow and painful death, this is no laughing matter" Conis argues

"Is it too late to vote on Kaos' get the hell out of dodge suggestion?" Ussop asks

"YOU! CRIMINALS!"

"Oh look, the sky marines remembered we're here" Alvida notes, joining the others in taking a more aggressive stance, as this was not going to end well

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Yeah it was quite a lucky shot" Nami replies

"LUCKY!"

"Yep, dumb luck and completely accidental. You see it was only my first time piloting a waver and those things are so difficult to control, so I may have miscalculated and the thing did a bit of a bunny hop and steamrolled your boss" Nami lies through her teeth, a thick gag of syrup courtesy of Kaya stopping Luffy from doing something stupid, such as point out Nami was practically riding it blindfolded earlier

"Gentlemen, while I'm sure this is very important, maybe the captain's health should take priority" Paguya suggests, the berets acting like headless chickens for a minute before putting the unconscious captain on a stretcher and army crawling to Paguya's house

"Was that really necessary?" Artemis asks

"No"

"So, now what, those guys say we were arrested but didn't even try cuff us, and I though Smokie's regular goons were stupid" Luffy complains once the pirates were left alone

Vivi sighs and hugs the confused boy "It doesn't matter, I'm just glad our current predicament isn't your fault this time" she says, to which Luffy nods dumbly

"Yeah, it's Nami's, shishishi" he laughs until Nami hits him "Ow"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but we should take crazy's advice and get out of here, before we get in more trouble or those White berets charge Conis and Paguya as our accomplices" Sanji says as he lights a cigarette

"Exactly, all aboard the Merry, we're heading somewhere else!" Usopp cheers

 _A little later_

"Luffy, you've been standing there this entire time, we need to go and like it or not the ship can't leave without her captain" Nami scolds, walking back to the straw hat boy who was staring up at Skypeia

"Why are we running?" he asks

"Because we're in deep shit dumbass"

"We're pirates, I punched out a Warlord and if what Kaos won't tell us is true Robin is a pretty wanted criminal down in the Blue Sea. What I mean is, we're always going to be in deep shit and there's always going to be someone after us, so why are we running when we took the fight to Arlong and Crocodile previously?"

"Because it's not just us, our friends could get in trouble if we stay any longer" Nami argues, ignoring what she guessed was a direct jab at her

Luffy frowns "They haven't done anything. Whoever arrests them is an idiot" he states flatly

"When Luffy calls someone an idiot it's probably true" Kaos says with a smirk, then it morphs into a scowl "The morons are back, but they figured out how to walk like normal people this time"

"Please go, you need to get away" Conis pleads, but the captain silence her with a wave of his arm

"Silence. One more word and I will treat you and your father as accomplices. These Blue Sea dwellers need to be punished for their actions. I find you all guilty of 5th degree crimes, and I now sentence you to drift in the clouds forever"

"Or until the ship plummets back down to the Grand Line, so give or take 200 years" Kaos stage whispers to Luffy who nods like a bobble head

"Not helping!" Nami hisses

"White berets, attack! Fire the milky arrows!" the captain orders, the arrows leaving a solid cloud trail in their wake

"Nami run, we'll handle this" Luffy orders, glad to see even if the clouds are solid blades and mirror claws can cut them.

"So now we have a fight, are you happy Lu?" Kaos asks, his own smile pinched but still present

"Not really, these guys seem weak" Luffy admits, watching Alvida knock 5 of them out like bowling pins

"No, Devil fruit eaters" The captain gasps as Luffy dodges an attack by rocketing himself around a tree and slamming headfirst into them on the recoil

"So you do have them up here, good to know" Kaos thinks aloud as his armoured hands catch and deflect blades while Hebi slices through limbs "I see what you mean Luffy, shitty canon fodder at best. Looks like things will hopefully get better soon"

"Which translates as getting worse for all of us" Sanji snarks as he kicks away one of the stragglers

"Well, that's all of them. Now what?" Zoro wonders

"They took out the White Berets, and made it look easy" Paguya gasps

" _But how, at this altitude Blue Sea dwellers shouldn't be able to do anything more than move around_ " Conis thinks as she bites her lip

"You think you've won don't you, but you've only made things worse" the guys (And Alvida) look over to the captain, who is now grinning maniacally "Of all the law enforcement of Skypeia the White Berets are by far the most lenient. But now, I dub you as Level 2 criminals, meaning you will be judged by the priests of Upper Yard" he declares, pointing at them with a smug look on his face… until the razor wire, ensnared, tore through and eviscerated the arm "AHHHHHHHH!"

"Do we look like we give a shit?" Kaos asks, letting Hebi reform from it's Traptrix state before placing it on his hip "Luffy, that good fight you wanted, either the priests or God himself are going to be it, are you ready?"

Luffy gives a full D grin, which has several on the ship turn white as snow "You betcha!"

TBC

LW: Didn't even last a day, well at least they won't be bored.


	47. God's Trial: Rescue the Crew

LW: Well, shit's getting real around here, and Luffy finds someone knew to beat up. Yay!

Rubber King and Mirror Master – God's Trials: Rescue the Crew!

"Why'd you rip his arm off you damn psychopath?" Nami shrieks as she slaps Kaos, the purplette looking not that impressed by her actions

"Sure, ignore all the other people I killed or maimed and focus on that guy" he grumbles

"Don't you get it, since that old lady ratted us out and let us into Skypeia we became wanted criminals, and you are making things worse"

"You're a fucking idiot" Kaos hisses, slapping the irate navigator "We're already wanted criminals, it's part of being a pirate. I know you're a coward but I thought you were supposed to be the 3rd smartest person in the East, we will always be wanted criminals, therefore the fact we're wanted criminals means precisely dick when it comes to making me want to leave"

"By the way, why did you come back we were about to go off looking for you, the house was getting boring and I needed some more adventure

"You idiot, we're not going anywhere near that death trap again, not now not ever!" Nami shouts, repeatedly punching Luffy in the chest, the rubber body stepping back each time "The things on that island, they're real and dangerous, and way out of our league

"The other problem is, that now you are all level 2 criminals I'm afraid we can no longer assist you" Paguya explains from a good distance away

"Not that you were any assistance in the first place" Valentina yells back, looking annoyed "I'm liking get the hell out of dodge right now, except I don't know how that will actually work" she looks around the crew, all of whom shrug or wave their hands in a 'not me' gesture

"She has a point, we put all that energy into getting up here, but had no plan on how to get back down" Usopp mopes "Is there even a way back down, one that doesn't result in us shattering when we hit the ocean like the St Briss?"

Connis steps closer so the crew could hear "There is a way, but given your current status it's not safe. The only option you have left is Cloud End"

"And Cloud End is?" Vivi asks curiously

"Directly East through the White White Sea. From there you should be able to make it back down to the Blue Sea"

"So we sail east and get back to our original sea, sounds easy… which means it isn't" Zoro comments, adding his 2 beri

"No it's that easy, just head east and you'll be fine" Paguya assures, and this time they believe him

"Aw, but I don't want to go, I want to have an adventure" Luffy whines

"Quiet Luffy we're about to get out of this mad house" Usopp whisper shouts

"Plus the other option is getting executed by these priests" Nami reminds him, forcefully, with her fist "Now come on you'll have your adventure later"

"Fine" Luffy grumbles "Oh wait. Hey old guy, can we take the left over food for the trip?" he asks

"Sure, it'll go to waste otherwise" the bearded man says with a handwave, letting the Rubber Boy bounce over him

"Where are you going?" Nami asks Sanji and Usopp who were heading in the same direction

"Might as well turn those leftovers into something nice to have on the way back, won't take long"

"And Paguya's an engineer, he's got to have some parts and tools to help fix the Merry"

"Just let them go, focus on the ship and we'll head when they get back" Kaos says, now lying on the sand and using Hebi in some kind of fan form as a tanning mirror, mostly out of boredom more than wanting to loose his ivory skin tone

"He's right you know?" the navigator turns and see's Alvida also sitting on the beach "We'll keep watch for the 3 dumbos, you make sure the ship is pointing the right way after leaving Zoro in charge for the 5 minutes you've been here complaining at us" she teases, watching the red head storm off angrily

"You know she'll get you back somehow" Kaos states, it wasn't a question but a promise

Alvida shrugs "She can try, I'll be fine"

"Okay, don't say I didn't warn you" he sighs, then the sky fox distracts him and lets it curl up on his lap, rubbing between it's ears.

 _A few minutes later, Going Merry_

"You're saying there's a cloud current that can get us to the White Sea?" Nami asks Conis who nods

"Exactly, it should get you to Cloud End and home free without any chance of getting lost. Plus if you remain in this current there's no chance you'll be able to be caught" she explains

' _This kid thinks we're idiots'_ Robin thinks, a scowl on her usually pleasant features _'or desperate and Nami is certainly that'_ she amends, seeing how happy this information was making their navigator

"Perfect… oh and we can just not tell Luffy and sail into the current and ride the waves home" Nami cheers

"You do know that's not going to work, Luffy will want his adventure" Vivi tries to point out as calmly as possible, a necessary precaution given the red head was just as unstable as the others on the crew

"Quiet, what he doesn't know won't get me killed"

"But as the captain where we go is his decision" Victor adds, indifferent about the decision if he was being asked

"Like when he broke the Eternal Pose, if he finds out you dooped him he'll be annoyed" Zoro adds, still in his usual not killing people pose, which was a meditative/napping position against the main mast

"If you like I can lead you to the current, so you can get out as quickly as possible" Conis offers, as Artemis slides up beside Robin

"Angels aren't very good at subtlety are they?" she asks, causing a short bark of a laugh to leave the archaeologist's mouth

"No they are not, especially one as twitchy as her" she replies, then sees their resident logia was taking a leaf out of Zoro's book and resting while she waited for their captain, cook and sniper to return.

"Well, then all we need to do is make sure Luffy sticks to the plan. Leave that to us" Nami says with a smile and 2 thumbs up, hoping that wasn't something else up here

"I'll go check on the others, be back when they are" Conis says, her wings causing her to hop over to the ladder

"Okay, you do that, thanks for all this by the way" Nami calls before turning back to the ship to ensure everything was ready for Luffy's return

 _Angel Beach, a little later_

"Well…fuck" Kaos groans, watching the Merry get carried away "Alvida, let's meet up with Luffy, Sanji and Usopp, hopefully we'll be able to find a way to rescue the others. Maybe the locals know the fuck just happened"

Alvida jumps to her feet, mace over her head "The Merry is our home, I'll clobber the bastard who stole it from us" she growls, then follows the taller straw hat until they run into the returning trio "That was quick"

"Did you see what happened? Why they took off like that?" Luffy asks, sounding worried

"No, just that the ship was dragged or pulled out to sea" Kaos answers, not helping the guys mood

"It was the Super Express Lobster" they look up to see Paguya and Conis had followed them "it's a messenger of Enaru, it must have taken your ship and it's crew as a sacrifice"

"Where is it going?" Usopp asks

"To the North of Upper Yard, to the sacrificial alter"

' _Vivi'_

' _Vivi'_

' _Nami'_

' _Kaya'_

' _Artemis, Robin'_

"And how do we get to Upper Yard, without the Merry?" Kaos asks, his milky white fingers gripped tightly around the hilt of his blade

"That's actually an important detail I hadn't told you yet" the old man admits "There are 2 types of divine punishment, your friends are receiving one or will in the near future, but the other is a challenge with them as hostages"

"Hostages" Usopp squeaks

"Yes, and I'm afraid the trials for this form of judgement rests on your shoulders"

"Really hope they're not intelligence trials, or the Luffy is going to fail us all" Kaos sighs, just barely side stepping a swing from Alvida "On the other hand if it's a physical or battle trial we should be in the clear.. except for the fact we have Usopp with us"

"You didn't answer Kaos question, how do we get to Upper Yard for these trials?" Sanji asks, the thought of Nami in danger trying his patience

"You take the Milky Road, it should lead you right to Upper Yard" Conis answers

"But won't that be like walking up the front door, isn't there an better way in?" Usopp asks

"I'm afraid not, the cloud canals criss cross most of skypeia, making a maze of paths I don't think anyone knows the full layout to. The safest path is to use the main path and enter the forest there"

"Kicking in the front door, it's like Arlong Park all over again Sesese" Kaos laughs, getting a tight smile from the cook in response, probably the only thing stopping him from biting through his cigarette right now

"So we get to upper Yard beat up the priests and rescue our friends" Luffy summarises, his face shadowed by his hat

"You make it sound easy when you say it like that" Usopp mutters

"It will be" Alvida confirms "Because we're the Straw hats, **WE DON'T LOSE** "

 _10 minutes later, after much arguing on the beach_

"This is getting us nowhere, hey Conis, are you going to do something besides stalk us?"

Sanji's eye blooms into a heart "Conis my love did you come to give me a goodbye kiss?" he swoons

"Actually, I was sent by my father, to help you make your way to Upper Yard and the Sacrificial alter to save your friends" she explains with a smile "I can accompany you as far as Angel isle docks, I'm sure they'll have a boat to accommodate you"

"Really, thanks Conis, lead the way" Luffy cheers, letting the girl lead them through Lovely Street

"Adventure awaits"

"You do realise there's a high chance you will all die on this trip

Luffy shrugs "Eh, everyone's got to die sometime"

"Plus, Thunder Thighs hasn't tried hit us yet, so why give a shit?" Kaos asks, chuckling to himself at the back of the procession

Luckily any comment the others were going to make was lost in their distraction, Lovely Street was the centre of commerce in Skypeia and as such had plenty of things to interest the pirates

"It's too bad we can't stick around this place is wonderful" Alvida moans, until Luffy rubs her shoulder

"Maybe when we're done we can come back and both my girls can find something nice, we just can't tell Nami" Luffy whispers, getting a kiss from the smooth woman

"Good point, lets go save everyone"

"Hey, it might just be because I'm at the back of the line, but does anyone else notice the dirty looks we're getting?" Kaos slips forward between the 2

"It's not just you, everyone here looks at us with either fear or disgust, I guess the White Beret pussy has a big mouth" Sanji agrees/complains

"With how loud he was declaring our criminal status that goes without saying" Usopp adds in annoyance

Kaos sighs in relief "Good, I wasn't just being paranoid. Though that doesn't explain why Paguya and Conis are still helping us"

"Maybe Conis is as pure as the angel she represents?" Sanji coos, and is promptly ignored by the other 2 guys (Luffy and Alvida had already walked off)

"Unlikely. Also that weirdo's still following us, can I kill him this time?" Kaos half whines half asks

"They kidnapped Vivi, make it hurt" was the surprising serious response from Luffy, Alvida nodding with angry eyes

"Thank you my captain" the purplette grins and continues walking, followed by Usopp and Sanji

Somehow keeping Luffy out of trouble, they eventually came across something known as Verth

"Hey Conis, what's with the dirt gremlin?" Alvida asks, getting a nod from Luffy as that was better than any description he could come up with

"That's Vert, it represents the eternal longing of our people"

"Okay, but does that mean you pray to it, or you make offerings to make it go away, if it the avatar of a sin or a virtue?" Kaos asks curiously, kind of wishing Robin hadn't been kidnapped as she would have found this more interesting than they do

Conis chuckles "I'm sure the concept is strange to a Blue Sea dweller, oh my we're almost at the docks, this way please"

"Aw, we're done already" Luffy complains but follows

"Did she just call us stupid for not understanding her dirt golem?" Kaos asks, getting a shrug from a frowning Alvida

"Probably, but not overtly or in a hateful way, it's like not knowing about dials here. She thinks it's so ingrained in her culture…"

"That she doesn't believe you can learn about Vert, despite that fact she learnt about Vert when she was a child" Kaos finishes "Well best be going, also seeing as we can't go higher without punching God in the face…" he flicks the golem, or the ice it was held within, the crack splitting the statue's head just off centre "…might as well see if we can make things worse" he cackles madly before following along

"This place is so cool" Luffy cheers, looking at the wide array of Gondelas on display in the harbour

"True, but how are we supposed to hire one of these, if nobody will talk to us?" Usopp yells, acting as the voice of reason for Luffy's spirit of adventure at the moment

"Well, we could steal one, I doubt stealing a gondola is a level 1 crime, so it's not like things can get worse for us" Kaos suggests, though halfassing it as he would rather not

"Actually, your boat is over here" Conis explains, gesturing them to continue following

"And we have a boat reserved because?" Sanji asks

"Must be the challenger gondola" Alvida guesses, drawing a blank otherwise

"I present to you, the Crow" she announces happily, gesturing to the rather crap little boat behind her

"Crows don't even swim" Sanji blurts out

"And Chickens don't fly, is that the biggest problem you have Sanji?" Usopp shouts

"It's a pile of crap" Alvida groans

"I'll be back with the waver from the ship" Kaos grunts and he turns on his heels

"No! You can't go back, you've already come this far" Conis screams, clearly panicked, but the researcher just smiles

"We're not going" Luffy says softly, surprising most of the crew, Conis and the hidden White Berets

"W-w-w-w-what? But your friends?" Conis stutters

"You're being an idiot again aren't you Lu?"

"Well doy, the future Pirate King, Queen, Chef, Sniper and Researcher can't trudge around on this piece of sky shrap, we should take that one" he point to the gondola he'd been eyeing earlier. Kaos had to toss Luffy away to get him out of Sanji's kicking range, though didn't try as hard to get said cook out of the range of Alvida's mace.

Conis sighs in relief, then rolls her eyes at Luffy's stupidity "Your exit is gate number 2, that will take you to the Milky Road and from there Upper Yard"

"That's a lot less security for such a normally forbidden zone than I expected" Alvida thinks aloud

"Well when their God sees all, human guards are crap in comparison" Kaos replies with a shrug

"Hey Conis" the blond remains bowed even when Luffy starts talking "You've been trembling, since we left the house"

"Oh sweet kami, someone else noticed" the researcher sighs in relief, pinching the bridge of his nose

"Are you okay?"

Conis tenses "Is it that noticeable"

"Yes" Kaos answers automatically ignoring Sanji's attempt to kick some manners into him, assisted by Alvida kicking the cook in the balls

"He's right. It's like you're scared or something"

"Speaking of scared, are things going to be okay for you and Paguya when we leave? I mean everyone else is avoiding us like we have Amber Lead, but you, you're still the same girl we met on the beach with the harp and the sky fox" Usopp asks, looking concerned "Won't they treat you as our accomplice?"

Luffy grits his teeth and puts his hands on Conis' shoulders "Conis, everything is going to be okay, I swear it"

Conis sighs "You don't get it do you?"

' _she, she can't serious be going to tell them'_

"After telling you how scary and deadly upper Yard is, I lead you here, hire a boat for you and give you directions; doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"Extremely, but this is technically, probably still the Grand Line, so I'm just waiting for the punch line"

'She's really going to do it' "Watch your tongue little girl, don't do anyth….gurk" the White beret no longer had to worry about his own tongue, given his entire lower jaw had just been torn from it's socket

"The traitor is confessing, be quiet before she loses her nerve" Kaos hisses, dropping the skypeian jawbone and shimmering back to the remaining Straw Hats and mildly traumatised Conis "Continue"

"You already know, don't you?"

"That you're acting suspicious, yeah of course, why? Not a chance" Luffy admits

"Um guys, the bird people are backing up" Usopp whispers, pointing to the Skypeians who were in deed rather quickly getting away from them

"Must be getting out of the Splash Zone" the purplette chuckles, wiping his hand on his waistcoat

Conis explains why Paguya had her guide them, which actually had Kaos and Alvida laugh and Sanji and Usopp groan

"You thought Luffy, valued his life over adventure? Mr I'm going to be King of the Pirates or Die trying over here" Sanji points his shoe at the grinning moron who waves

"But, the lives of your crew?"

"Captains orders" Kaos and Alvida chorus still grinning like idiots

"I called the Super express Lobster" apparently that was what ended the amusement, given she went from kneeling in repentance to having her head pinned to the pavement

"YOU WHAT!"

"Kaos, she can't talk if she's eating cloud dirt" Luffy says, ordering a release without using the words. He complies

"While you were preparing, I told your friends about a current to get them to Cloud End quickly and safely, when they raised anchor they signalled the Lobster. If we learn someone is a criminal we must lead them to Upper Yard, or the penalty is death"

'Stupid girl'

'she's bring Ereru's wrath on us all'

"it's the duty of every citizen" she sniffles

Kaos groans as Luffy steps closer "If what you say is true, then you're being forced tolead us here?" nod "Then why tell us any of this at all?" Conis's neck nearly snaps with the speed it goes from looking at the ground to Luffy's angry face "You idiot, now you're in danger!"

"Luffy, grab the girl and hold on" Kaos shouts just as a bright light erupts in the sky "Everyone else make a break for it"

'Really hope this works'

 **ZAP BOOM!**

"Well, that wasn't fun" Sanji groans as the him and 3 other Straw Hats slowly stand up

"Okay, maybe he's stronger than a normal Logia" Kaos says with a wince, seeing the crater left behind by that lightning strike

"This is what happens to people who defy the mighty !" one skypean croons, until he gets yanked across the still smoky clearly and was left staring into his own face reflected in 2 mirror coated eyes that pulsed with anger.

"Alvida, do want to kill this moron or should I?"

"There will be no need for that"

Usopp gasps "It's that weirdo with the parrot horse"

"I'm not weird, I'm the skyknight Ganfall. This one's on the house by the way" he says with a slight smile, dropping Luffy off beside them, but keeping Conis on his steed

"And Conis?" Sanji asks

"She is under my protection for now, Eneru will not touch her" Ganfall declares gravely and even the straw hats believe him

 _Crunch_

"Well, guess we didn't need that guy" Kaos says before helping Luffy up "Are you ready to face Ereru now Luffy?"

"Yeah, that bastard tried kill our friend and is still trying to kill our family; he needs to go down hard!"

"Exactly what we expect from you Luffy, don't ever change" Alvida smiles, pulling him in for a hug "Now, to Conis' shitty Crow gondola!"

The 5 manage to somehow all fit in the gondola (Usopp requiring a little convincing, also reminding him Kaya was waiting up there for him to rescue her had him nearly imitating Sanji), Luffy in the front while Kaos was left to handle the controls, the crew were fine with the arrangement the brothers decided on, especially after the waver incident

"Dear passangers if you'll look dead a head you'll see a giant forest, hopefully filled with less giant animals than Little Garden, as well as our friends who we are here to rescue" Kaos announces, trying to keep the mood high on the painfully slow Crow

"The map never mentioned giant mangroves" Usopp squeaks

"We don't know how old the map is, only the minimum of 200 years because it was on the St. Briss, plus who knows how fast or large things grow up here?" Alvida responds, leaning back with her mace on her lap

"All I know is I've got to climb one of those trees, they're huge!"

"We'll do it later Lu, we are most likely on the clock here" Kaos reminds a now frowning Luffy, until he spots something near where the Milky Road meets the forest

"Look the entrance" he says, pointing to the lit torches and Verth statues lining the arch formed in the trees "Guess this is where the Trial officially begins"

"Feel like chickening out Usopp, because I'm pretty sure this is the point of no return" Sanji asks getting a hesitant shake of he head from the cowardly sniper "Great, you're going first"

"No, that's the captains job, right Luffy?" Usopp quickly denies, happy to deny his captain claim if it meant saving his hide for a little longer, though he has bigger things to worry about now "Um guys… You can see those too right?" he yells, pointing to the shipwrecks along the sides of the road

"Yes, guess this place isn't meant for Blue sea vessels, they all got destroyed" Alvida notes, until they hear something heavy coming their way "Or not"

 _SWING_

"Well, now we know what happened to the ships, the trial path is boobytrapped, and probably so is the forest" Kaos announces, for once everyone was glad the Crow was so slow, as the giant blade actually missed them by an inch by going too early "Everyone paddle for your lives"

By some miracle their flailing that was just about called paddling managed to enable them to avoid the barrage of swinging blades, only to run into spears being flung from practically every direction

"Usopp take the wheel" Kaos yells, the sniper more than happy too, other than having to listen to Luffy's backseat driving

"I've said this once and I've said it a thousand times, stop throwing pointy things, I can't deflect them!" Luffy growls, tossing back any spears Kaos, Sanji and Alvida mange to deflect from hitting their boat, but still landed in said boat.

The spinning wheel of death, which seemed to be part boomerang and part Straw Hat/idiot seeking missile was both an annoyance and a chance for both Alvida and Kaos to do a little target training, the reflect human eventually seeing his companions were getting as annoyed with these trials as he was and decided to try catch the thing, luckily it worked

"Anyone else glad this thing is serrated like a saw rather than straight like an axe?" he wonders aloud before dropping it into the cloud sea, wincing at the shallow grove in his palm.

After everything they'd just gone through, a sky lamprey was easy, Sanji only needing on well placed kick to send it flying into the forest

10 minutes later

"You'd think with how trigger happy God is he'd have made the travel distance between town and his trial shorter, eh maybe his predecessor was less of a dick" Kaos grumbles, now lying down at the back of the boat, his fedora over his eyes

"Predecessor?" Sanji and Usopp ask

"Eneru's a lightning man, or something along those lines, but more importantly Conis said something before she left with Ganfall. 'I know who you are. Come back to us God'" the straw hats gasp "Seems God is a title or rank up here, and Eneru's abilities definitely seem quite close to divine"

"I suppose that means we're going to need to make sure none of them start worshiping you or Luffy when we're done kicking his Godly ass of his golden throne" Alvida chuckles

"Exactly"

Not much more was said before they reached what looked to be the end of the road, until 4 spaces were noted in the obstructing wall. Each gate had a corresponding title written above it, labelling it as an Ordeal. They were the _**Ordeals of:**_

 _ **Swamp**_

 _ **Iron**_

 _ **String**_

 _ **Balls**_ (Usopp says spheres in the anime, but the subtitle says Ball Ordeal so I'm going with that)

"Okay, should we vote , draw straws or just have Luffy decide?" Kaos asks as they let the Gondola come to a rest just in front of the gateways

TBC

LW: Yeah, I'm ending it here, hope everyone's okay with that. See you all next time. Also, at least the next chapter will stick to Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, (Kaos and Alvida), we'll be checking in on the others in a separate chapter just for them.


	48. So many balls

LW: Here we go, onto the 1st trial

Rubber King and Mirror Master – So many balls (Sorry, not sorry)

"So, which path do we take?" Usopp asks Luffy, who answers surprisingly quickly

"Balls, the Trial of the Balls"

"Why?"

"Balls are fun, it sounds like the least bad trial" Luffy answers with a smile, to which the sniper had no response

"Yes they are" Alvida purrs beside him, cuddling up to him as Kaos considers sepuku and Sanji considers curling up in a corner of the boat for the foreseeable future.

"At least it's been decided, but remember anything can happen regardless of how mundane the challenge sounds"

"Ruin the mood why don't cha?"

Once they entered the gate the pirates were flung into pitch darkness, only the pull of the canal keeping them on course and away from the sides. Just as Luffy got Usopp's heart rate to a level it could be heard outside his body they reached the end of the tunnel, which was apparently attached to a waterfall…

' _Fuck my life!'_

How they survived is completely unknown given how weak the Crow appeared, but given they don't understand how water clouds work maybe they just negate fall damage, either way the 4 of them were just fine, other than some mild trauma.

"Let's not do that again any time soon" Sanji pants as he tries get his heart and breathing back to normal levels

"Agreed" Kaos replies with a deep sigh, his head resting on the steering wheel of the gondola "Now, where the fuck are we?"

"A forest" Luffy answers "with balls"

That statement had both older boys look up, and just as the captain stated there were a lot of large, white balls floating around in the air, it was really strange

"Guess we can see why it's called the Ordeal of Balls" Alvida hums

"Well, the ball part at least, we still don't know about the ordeal part" Usopp adds, his eyes constantly flickering around the area they were floating through

"The coward is right" Kaos says, pinching the bridge of his nose "we need to keep on our guard, this is a trial by one of the priests of this Thunderus rip off, so there has to be more than just cloud balls everywhere"

"The canal is rising, taking us up through the trees" Sanji notices, the others feeling the unease rising with them.

' _It's too quiet, you'd think someone working for Ereru would want to show off how loyal they are, maybe fanatics are built differently in the sky'_ Kaos thinks, the lightning logia's prescience beginning to give him a headache as well as his hair standing slightly on end. The fact Usopp and Luffy had gotten bored and were now playing with the cloud balls weren't helping at all

"Will you 2 cut it out already?" Sanji yells angrily, seems the cook was annoyed as much as the researcher by their blasé attitude, so it was probably a good thing he ball took this moment to pop, releasing a sky snake which tried to attack Usopp, only for Alvida to bat it off the side of the canal

"That's not good" the sniper squeaks, now looking panicked at all the balls hanging around them

"Kaos, another ball, dead ahead!" Luffy shouts in warning, the purplette frowns as he pulls out Hebi

"I'm not in the mood for snakes today. **Shinso** " he hisses, the hook blade straightening before shooting forward like a piston, spearing the cloud ball with unlike the other one, blew up rather than release some snakes

"Well shit, we're floating through a forest of boobytrapped cloud balls" Sanji gasps

"Hoh hoh hooooo, silly children these are Surprise Clouds" came a voice above them, before a cloud ball floated down to reveal the priest using it as a chair "Hesu, I'm so glad you chose my challenge, the Ordeal of Spheres!"

"Great, now we have talking cloud balls" Kaos groans, causing a few to attempt to hold in a laugh, mostly because the description actually did fit the rotund man who's wings were still somehow able to support his weight.

"Anyone know what kind of drugs this guy is on? And if he's willing to share, I'm sure Chopper and Robin could find a use for the stuff?" Alvida asks rhetorically, trying to avoid simply throwing her mace at the now dancing and giggling idiot in front of them

"No, but he clearly doesn't have the dosage right" Sanji remarks, then grimaces when the angel-ball throws himself into the air, aiming for the boat

"Luffy, ball guy at 12 o'clock"

"I see him"

 **Gum Gum …**

"Oh, you a stretchy boy" Satori coos "strike from the left"

… **Pistol**

Satori laughs, dodging the strike with ease, then with a energy pulse from his hand sends Luffy flying onto the land beside him

"That's not a Devil Fruit power, so it must be dials, you're going to be a pain in the ass to deal with" Kaos sighs then reaches out, surprising both himself and the others when he was able to place his hand on Satori's face " _ **Sakanade**_ " he says with a chuckle, before attempting to smack the ball man, only to miss by a good foot or so

"A palm strike to the bridge of my nose, that might have hurt, had it connected" Satori cackles "But to one such as I, granted the power of Mantra by Eneru, it's nothing Hoh hoh hooooo"

"He can predict our attacks"

"Before we even make them"

"Well, sort of" the purplette smirks, reflect armour coating his hands "Given the attacks have both been head on, you have to at least see the attack coming, right?"

"Hoh hoh hooooo, nope, much like God, I see all, no attacks can strike me"

"Let me test that, it is my job after all"

 **Flashbang**

Kaos clicks his fingers before fanning his hands out to try blind/daze the angel, before going in for a rib strike. The shades seemed to protect Satori, as he only laughed before floating…directly into the path of Kaos' kick

"What?" Satori screams, clutching his side "How, that shouldn't have worked, my Mantra clearly told me you'd kick me on the right"

Kaos' smirk widens "which I did, your eyes just think it came from the left. I must thank you for wearing mirrored shades like you do, it makes this so much easier. Also it sounds like mantra isn't affected by my fruit, good to know for the next guy"

"I'm confused" Usopp whines, meanwhile Alvida was focusing on Luffy pulling himself to his feet

"What's the name of my fruit Usopp?"

"The reflect reflect fruit?" Usopp responds, hoping he was right

"Correct. And with that in mind, do you know what I did?" Kaos asks, before jumping out of the way of a shockwave courtesy of Satori

"Reflections. Also should we get away, like now, this boat is too small to fight in?" the sniper guesses, the nod from Kaos answering both questions, before he's grabbed by his bag and thrown down to where Luffy is, Sanji and Alvida not needing the help to jump off themselves

"Close enough" he hums, then laughs at the mirroring of actions, leading to Satori's hand on the back o his head, before the dial discharged, luckily for him and unfortunately for the priest at this close range, being a precog doesn't mean you have time to avoid the kick to the gut left behind as a gift when Kaos shot forwards into the nearby tree, the spherical red head grunts as the wind is knocked out of him, sneering at the purplette who landed on his back with a thud

"You okay Kaos?" Luffy asks

"I'm fine, or will be in a minute of two" Kaos replies, smile still in place

"You won't have time to, not when I'm through with you blasphemers!" Satori yells as he floats down to them

"Get bent you walking dumpling!" Alvida screams, swinging her mace but missing just barely, the angel laughs and slams his hand into her gut shooting her back into the tree with a thud

"See, the big one was just a fluke, God's power is absolute and with it I shall destroy you"

Luffy grits his teeth and swings his arm, limbering up before sending forth his attack

 **Gum Gum Scatter shot**

"You really think another punch will topple me, it's quite clear your attack will…" the fist connects with Sataori's fat face, sending him skipping across a cloud canal

"What just happened?" Sanji asks, confused by the inconsistent power the ball man had

"The attack needs to be predictable in order for Satori to be able to dodge it… actually that's probably wrong, the attack needs an actual target in order for Satori to defend, Scattershot literally is a scattered mess of an attack, designed to hit the opponent somehow or have them dodge wildly in order to avoid a punch that could hit any part of their body" Kaos explains

"That's nice, but how does that help those of us who don't have a rubber body?" Usopp asks

"We overwhelm him with attacks, unless any of you idiots, and Alvida have any better ideas" Sanji says before running straight at the annoyed priest, a barrage of kicks deftly avoided by the fat bastard

"Does he really need to call out where he's aiming, the whole problem is he knows what we're going to do, so why tell him?" the sniper asks in confusion

"It hasn't been a problem before" Luffy suggests with a shrug

"True, Sanji has been doing this pretty much since we met him, with his opponent s never fast enough to react to the declared target. Which shows not only does the cloud ball know what he's doing before he hits him, he knows before Sanji tells him and can move out of the way" Kaos theorises, then walks forward seeing an opening he can use.

"Done tiring yourself out blondie Hoh hoh hooooo" Satori giggles, having managed to dodge every strike thanks to his Obser…Mantra with little effort on his part. Grinning like a maniac he raises his left arm and proceeds to slam his dial into Sanji's face… only for the strike to be caught by Kaos' hand

 _DING_

"For the love of Eneru, do you have nay idea what you've done?" Satori screams as he flies back, the fully redirected shockwave breaking a few bones in his arm, as well as shatter the dial in his glove rendering the entire hand useless

"Learnt your mantra can only detect attacks, which a reflection isn't, it's a counter which does nothing unless you activate it. All I did was catch your hand, you're the one with the dial" Kaos explains with a tight smile, given he was just wearing the waistcoat it was clear to everyone there were 2 cracks that went from his wrist to just before his elbow on his right arm "Oh and heads up" he taunts

'Strike to the left side, predictable even for a Blue Sea dweller, I'll just move a litt..' "Fucking Bitch!" Satori shrieks as Alvida's swing cracked 3 ribs "How, you were aiming for the left so I weaved ri…"

"Left, thanks for that by the way I think the attack would have hurt but not broken anything without your help" Kaos smirks and Satori noticed the khopesh was on his right hip instead of his left. While distracted the priest's mantra seemed to falter, as there was no other reason for him to miss..

 **Lead Star Bombardment**

…the maximum load a slingshot can hold of lead pellets being fired directly at his face, knocking him onto his fat ass and shattering his shades to pieces, to his and the purplette's annoyance

"Luffy punch the idiot for me" he sighs, not even reacting to Ussop's whine of pain when Luffy does as instructed

"Why'd you hit me?"

"Because you broke his shades, meaning we need to find another way to deal with his mantra" Kaos answers as the priest gets back up, steaming mad

"Hm?"

"One thing people forget about reflections, is that they're backwards, left is right and vice versa. The reversal of perspective was something I noticed happened on occasion when I used my reflect armour on my face, and it messed with my head quite a bit. That disorientation and inability to know left from right, possibly even up and down but that's a little extreme, as well as being unable to trust your eyes was something I've wanted to try for a while but never had a chance to, until Satori's mirrored shades."

Sanji face palms "That's why the dumpling got his predictions wrong when you and Alvida struck him, his brain followed his eyes, moving out of the way of the strike, and into the real one"

"3 cheers for the pervert cook" Kaos teases, then grunts when Satori slams his other impact dial into his gut, before flying into the tree several feet behind him.

"You think you can get one over on one of the priests of Eneru smart guy? Well lets see if you can deal with this!" he declares, pulling out a cane and spinning it around

 **Tama Dragon**

"Ah fuck" Alvida swears, given there was a giant dragon creature made of Surprise Clouds flying towards them, with Satori flying out of the way of the creature so he could watch them fail

"Anyone got a plan?" Luffy shouts "Also this is awesome… if it wasn't coming straight for us!"

"I have an idea, though it'll probably hurt like a bitch" came an irritated voice, as Kaos was helped up by Alvida, taking Hebi from his belt and pressing the hilt against the centre of his chest, the snake animating and wrapping herself around his chest, then digging her fangs directly over his heart

 **Odo no gosuto no boyaketa hansha:** **Kamishini no Yari**

Much like before Hebi straightened and then shot forward, the difference being it went a lot further than last time, shooting through the entire surprise cloud dragon, popping almost simultaneously, and continuing on until it reached a very different cloud. Even with his mantra Satori didn't see this coming, the force of the blow slamming him into a tree, but more importantly the blade impaling his heart, killing him almost instantly

"Is it over?" he pants, hands shaking around Hebi's hilt, leaning slightly against Alvida.

"Give us a minute for the smoke to clea…. Yep, the bastard's dead, can't be any more over than that" Sanji answers, Kaos sighs in relief and releases the technique, the blade retracting like a tape measure, luckily without the kickback or he would have been the next person to get injured by his blade. Hebi releases her fangs from his chest and coils back around the hilt, returning to it's base form just before the purplette fall back, lying spread eagle on the ground

"Is he okay?" Alvida asks Luffy who shrugs

"I'll be fine, just going to take a break if there's no complaints from the peanut gallery" Kaos answers, pushing his hat over his eyes and closing them, grunting in annoyance when Luffy grabs him by his coat and throwing him back onto the Crow, though he does find a spot to sleep in while Luffy catches and throws up the rest of his reluctant crew.

"Well, I'm going to assume killing the priest counts as finishing the trial, so let's get the hell out of here" Sanji decides, turning back on the Crow's dials and setting them down the canal once more

"So, anyone have a plan for if we come across any more 'mantra' users?" Alvida asks as they wait for the boat to slowly plod through the forest

"Given we can't count on them all being dressed the same, Kaos' mirror trick probably won't be useable on them" Usopp guesses sadly

"Then we'll just have to imoblise them" Kaos suggests, not opening his eyes or even moving, getting a minute of silence before Luffy of all people face palm

"Of course, why didn't we think of it sooner. It doesn't matter if you can predict your opponent's moves before they make them… if you can't do anything to avoid or counter said attacks" he fist pumps, grinning madly

"Wow, that's actually pretty smart" Sanji says, giving his captain a rare compliment

"Of course"

"So how do you think the others are doing?"

"Eh, they're probably fine"

 _Meanwhile at the Sacrificial Alter_

"I don't wanna die" Chopper cries as he runs away from the fireballs falling from the sky, trying to turn him into a reindeer roast

TBC

LW: Yeah, this isn't as long as other chapters, Satori annoyed the fuck out of me. So much like Don Krieg there was less effort put into this chapter, of which I apologise to my readers' whole heartedly. Hopefully the next chapter will make up for it.


	49. How the others are doing

LW: And now for something completely different… sort of

Rubber King and Mirror Master: How the others are doing

 _Around the middle of chapter 47 – Sacrificial Alter_

"Okay, so where the fuck are we?" Zoro asks after the Sky lobster finally let them go, even if it was on top of a step pyramid

"Besides Upper Yard… I have no clue" Nami sighs, this day just wasn't going well for her

"It appears to be an alter, most likely sacrificial in nature" Robin notes in a more clinical tone than some of the crew would like, especially given the subject material

"Sacrifice?" Vivi squeaks, while Kaya and Nami turn green

"What's a sacrifice?" Chopper asks in confusion, turning to Robin as already knows she's the smartest one on the ship

"Ritualistic slaying of animals or humans, usually as an act of devotion to a deity" Robin explains, Vivi nodding alongside her

"She's right, the practice was part of Alabasta's ancient history until Crocodile's drought, then the sacrifice of prized livestock and a portion of what little harvest was produced became a more common thing, anything to bring the rains back as they say" the bluenette adds,

"Makes sense" Nami nods, then realisation dawns "Hold on, that means we're the sacrifices!"

"Pretty much" Artemis agrees, sitting beside Zoro frowning at the symbols on the wall that just look like jibberish.

"I don't wanna die, wah!" Chopper screams, before falling off the Merry, bouncing down the stairs of the alter and nearly falling into the cloud sea beyond was he not caught near the end by a pair of Robin's bloomed hands

"That was way too close" Victor sighs, Kaya and Carue releasing their held breath

"Not done yet" Valentina shouts as a sky shark bursts out of the water, luckily Zoro was there to intercept it, saving Chopper and allowing the little reindeer to flee, only for him to fall into the cloud sea himself

"Zoro!" Chopper screams, tears running down his face

"Uncle Zoro's going to be okay, right Nami?" Artemis asks, poking Nami's butt with her brush to get her attention

"He'll be fine, this is Zoro we're talking about" Nami bluffs, not wanting to scare the child with her own fears for the swordsman's fate

"He's still alive, and uninjured, this place may be strange but water still turns red when blood is spilled within it" Robin assures her in a more direct and logical way "Plus just like Luffy and your papa, he's wicked strong, a sky shark won't be able to beat him" she adds bloomed hands rubbing Chopper's head between his antlers and running through her hair to sooth them both

 **Bang**

"Did Zoro just punch a shark?" Kaya asks, rubbing her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things

"Yes, it seems all that weight lifting isn't just for show" Robin says with a chuckle as Zoro trudges back up the steps

He grunts as he gets back onto the boat "So, in other news, we're not getting out of this mess, by swimming" as he says that, several fins peek out of the water

"Oh great, more sky sharks" Nami grumbles

"I wonder if this is the so called Heaven's Judgement that military guy was blabbering on about" Robin wonders aloud

"Not much of a trial, unless the only options are starve or get eaten by sky sharks" Valentina notes, almost looking bored

"She's right, you'd think this God would try something a little flashier, like a bolt from the sky to smite his enemies" Zoro adds, looking unimpressed and a little annoyed

"Not every God is a drama Queen Zoro" Vivi defends "Some are more subtle and indirect. Though on saying that, maybe Eneru expects us to kill each other and then he kills the survivors"

"Dick move, especially for a God" Victor grumbles "We're kind of stuck here though, the hull took a battering when that Lobster clawhandled it, so even if we could move it down to the water it wouldn't do us much good" he says with a deep sigh, unlike Usopp the bomber man was willing to admit: that the Merry was dying, and would need to be replaced sooner rather than later.

Zoro nods "Think you can at least have a go at fixing it, all we need is a patch job? I'll head out into the forest, see if there's anything that can help us out there"

"And how do you intend to do that? You told us yourself swimming isn't an option, even ignoring most of us are Devil Fruit users" Nami asks with a bitter tone to which Zoro just rolls his eyes

"This whole place is God's Land, what do you hope to find out here?" Vivi asks

"God. If he's really up here, I'd like to meet him" the expression on Zoro's face could be classed as demonic that was for sure

"That's a really stupid idea, what will you even do if you meet him, slice him with your swords? Kaos thinks he's some kind of Logia, that means normal attacks do precisely Jack shit!" Valentina argues

"Eh, I'll figure it out if and when I meet him, also depending on if he behaves himself or acts like a little bitch" Zoro answers pretty nonchalantly, checking he still had all his swords after the shark fight "I don't believe in him anyway, why would I care about pissing him off?" he asks mostly thinking out loud

"Oh great Enaru…"

 _ **BANG**_

"Ow, why the fuck did you hit me?" Nami shouts at Vivi, more annoyed about the fact she'd used her own weapon than he thwack itself

"Praying to the being who's going to kill us all, besides being stupid it's also disrespectful to the rest of us, as well as the boys and Alvida most likely fighting their way through Eraru's priests as we speak trying to rescue us" Vivi growls, though the climitact is removed from her hands by Kaya's syrup tentacles before she can hit Nami again. Now unarmed the bluenette appears to calm, moving into a meditative pose before reciting what sounded to be a prayer, or at least part of one

" **Hikari no buringā, anata wa anata no namae to mokuteki no kono chōshō ni taishite watashinokazoku no shōri o shitatamerudeshou** _ **."**_

"She has a point you know" Robin adds, still examining the alter itself "God's often gain power through worship, praying to him, may just doom our friends" the archaeologist suggests, leading to Nami taking a paintbrush to the back of the head. Turning around she's met with a grumpy looking Artemis

"Don't try hurt Papa again" she commands with a slight hiss in her voice, sending a shiver down the navigator's spine

"That vine looks pretty sturdy" Zoro says, spotting one in a tree just above them "Hey Robin, think you could lend a hand and get that for me?"

"Sure thing swordsman. Provided I can tag along" Robin says with a smirk

Zoro shrugs "That's fine as long as you don't slow me down" Robin nods and blooms hands to bring it down

"Wait a minute, where are you going?" Valentina asks, wondering what had caught the older woman's eye

"You see this alter, it's still standing after over a thousand years"

"WHAT!"

"You can practically feel the history in the very air, somewhere like this is bound to be full of old relics. It's my duty as an archaeologist to find those relics. Just think of all the valuables we could uncover, not seen in centuries" Robin sighs deeply, a soft smile on her face

Of course say valuables in front of Nami and the expected reaction occurs "Hm, in that case I'll join you" she declares, eyes already turned into Berri telling everyone exactly what they needed to know

"I guess that leaves us to fix the ship then" Vivi presumes, actually glad the red head wasn't going to be on the ship complaining the entire time. She's now Zoro and Robin's problem

"Stay safe mama" Artemis says, getting a hug from Robin

"Of course I will, I have our swordsman to protect me" she teases, Zoro rolling his eyes but smiling at the kid, tugging at the vine before getting ready to go

"A hem. Aaaaaahahah" he bellows, swinging over the sky shark infested lake (Eh, close enough to the Tarzan yell I'm probably not going to change it) "You're turn" he shouts, tossing the vine back, Robin barely letting it stop before jumping off herself and letting her swing gracefully to the other side. "Last call witch"

"I'll be fine" Nami tells herself, pulling on the vine to test its strength, then gulping when she looked down 'This is a lot higher than I though'

"Be very careful Miss Nami, if you fall you'll most certainly die, though whether it's from the fall or the sharks I'm not sure" Robin 'helpfully' encourages

"How is that supposed to help me….ah!" Nami screams as she's pushed, her shriek most likely scaring every bird in the area away before she reaches the other side, the only thing stopping her slamming into a tree, being Robin's blooms

"Well, not the total coward I expected you to be" Robin says with a smirk

"She was pushed" Zoro adds

"I stand corrected"

"Oh you can both go straight to Hell!" Nami yells at them both, Zoro ignoring her though Robin's flat 'yes I probably am' sent a cold shiver down her spine.

"So, now they're gone, should we get to work" Vivi asks, getting nods from all those who stayed "Okay, Victor you're the one of us with the most experience in this kind of thing, so lead the way"

"It's not really that much, barely worth the fanfare" the bomberman admits, getting nods of agreement from Vivi and the others.

"True, but some is better than none at all, which is what all but you, Usopp and maybe Kao given he seems to be the one most likely to help Usopp with his repairs before you joined the crew have in terms of repair and carpentry skills" Kaya explains while Chopper goes to get the tools

"Thanks, guess there's no point standing around complaining"

"Agreed, let's make the Merry sailable again" Valentina cheers.

 _With Zoro, Nami and Robin_

"We've been walking for over an hour, and still no sign of this God, nor any of his priests" Zoro complains as he climbs over another tree root

"Well given if God is as powerful as he claims, or is supposed to it won't matter where we look as he should already know where we are. Then again maybe he does and is avoiding us on purpose" Robin guesses impassively

"If he knows where we are, can't he just show up already" the swordsman growls impatiently

Nami groans "You say that because you haven't seen the things I have, something on this island could wipe us off the map in a single strike!"

"If you start praying again I'll smack you" Robin states plainly, seeing the girl already dropping to her knees

"Let her do it if she wants, it's just as pointless as standing around complaining. We need to get across the river though as there's nothing over here" Zoro grumbles, then has to rescue Nami who got a little too close to the edge and caught the attention of a Sky Shark in the clouds.

"Okay, it's official I'm not crossing that, no how no way, might as well just throw myself to the sharks now and give them what hey want. I'm staying right here and nothing will make me move!"

"We probably will" Robin remarks, acknowledging Nami as dead weight, something Zoro told her not to be specifically (though it may have been he didn't see the point in repeating himself, or knew Nami would just argue if he told her off as well)

"You idiot, if you were so scared why did you come in the first place?" Zoro yells in her face

' _Because she's a greedy, gold obsessed, bitch'_ Robin thinks, the information safe in her head from Nami's explosive temper, then she looks down and her eyes widen "Guys, look over here" she shouts, dropping to her knees

"What, is it gold, treasure, gemstones?" Nami asks with eye sparkles

"It's dirt"

"Of course it's dirt" the navigator responds, getting a look from Robin Luffy was familiar with, the _'you're a fucking idiot!'_

"We're in the sky" Robin reminds her, her voice dead calm

"Oh yeah" Nami says with a face palm "But how did it get up here?"

"No clue, but the fact this place is made of dirt rather than clouds, might be why it's so special to this God person and the skypians in general" Robin theorises, standing back up

Robin hums as she spots something after a little more walking, something moving out the corner of her eye, potential proof they weren't alone in this forest

"Something wrong Robin?" Nami asks, having noticed the woman stop moving and looked almost lost

"Nothing of concern, we may continue" Robin waves off, it might have actually been nothing, she just wasn't sure.

 _Back with the Merry_

Repairs actually were going better than expected, the girls and Chopper able to follow orders better than Luffy did 90% of the time, there was only one incident involving a lost hammer and a sky shark, but Victor's bombs seemed to do the trick to at least keep them away from the steps

"This is a rather smooth repair job, especially for such amateurs as ourselves" Vivi says with a smile a she continues hammering, accepting a nail from Carue before she runs over to Victor to give him one

"And a lot less complaining Kyahaha" Valentina cackles, sitting on Chopper's shoulder as they work on the hull "Weird isn't it?"

"That the most complaints don't come from the pretty pink princess?" Artemis asks completely shamelessly "But instead the poor, greedy, navigator?"

"Pretty much" Kaya admits, the devil fruit and Nami's lack of prescience on the boat allowing her to pluck up the courage to answer such a question

The peace didn't last too long as soon heavy wing beats could be heard, something was flying in their direction, at a quick pace too

"Holy shit!" Vivi screams as a skull faced bird enters visual range, a man with a pointy moustache, goggles and dressed like an aviator with pale grey wings riding on its back, his lance already drawn as he approaches

"5? Well better than nothing I suppose" he grouses "Those about to be sacrificed, I am Shura, one of the 4 priests of Enaru" he states, arrogance almost palatable in the air

Before anyone could stop him, Chopper blew Ganfall's whistle

 _Meanwhile_

' _Hm, what's cobblestone doing all the way up here?_ ' Robin wonders, this island wasn't making any sense; nothing about this island was any different to any other on the Blue Sea… except it was high above the clouds, on the White White Sea.

"Wait, did you hear that?" Nami asks, drawing her attention away from the ground long enough to… yes that sounded like a whistle, or maybe another wind instrument she as unfamiliar with, it could be the sound of an Alarm Tone for all she knew. She shrugs and dismisses it, moving onto a more interesting mystery to solve: why would someone build a well under the roots of a tree?

 _Back on the Merry_

"Those who offer up their lives to Enaru, I shall make this quick" Shura shouts before trying to skewer Chopper on the tip of his lance, missing and leaving a groove in the deck, which quickly came a light

"Fire on deck"

"Damn"

Shura growls "Why resist, die with dignity" he squeezes his legs and his bird exhales a torrent of flame

 _ **Bark**_

 **KABOOM**

"Lasoo" Vivi cheers the gun dog's payload causing an explosion too high for the flames to do anymore damage to the ship… for now

"Okay, now he's asking for an ass kicking" Valentina says with gritted teeth "Let's give him what he wants eh guys?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth" Victor says before shooting an exploding snot ball, which Shura dodges with disinterest

"You really think something like that will be able to hurt a priest of Enaru?" he boasts, then frowns when a yellow blob entangles his hand "What is this?" he asks before ducking a similarly coloured projectile which embeds itself in the wall

"Me doing what Victor and Kaos do, combine my weapons, with my Devil Fruit." Kaya says as she opens her revolver, her hand liquefying enough for golden syrup to flow into the chambers before reforming her hands and closing them. She then spins the chambers, smirking slightly "Want to play guess the payload Mr Fireguy?" she asks, before firing a round from each gun

Given the intent flowing from her Shura's mantra was telling him to dodge as if they were real bullets, only for the left round to come undone, the sticky syrup tangling around the handle of his lance, not that he saw it as a problem as it meant they would be unable to disarm him

"You are nothing but an annoyance" Shura grunts, not even reacting as he moves out of the way of Valentina's drop, diving to avoid a tackle from Chopper, who was swiftly kicked into the mast of the ship "You will all die, same as the idiots who already abandoned you and the fools who believe you can be rescued by surviving the trials" he then catches Vivi as she tries using her slashers, lifting her by the throat "I offer your life to God…." He stops, the spear tip inches from her heart as a prescience enters the range of his mantra, someone powerful, and moving very fast. Dropping Vivi he turns just as Ganfall arrives, blocking his strike with his lance

"Sorry to keep you waiting children"

Quack

"I presume that's about Chopper using the whistle, in which case Go Chopper sounds about right" Valentina says, pulling herself to her feet as she watches Kaya's syrup tentacles extinguish any flames the priest had started while he was here, only mild discomfort showing on her face

Shura sneers at the man "So you've finally returned, allow me to fix a mistake and put you in the ground for Lord Enaru" he then hops onto his bird's back, who growls and spits fire at Pierre who dodges before the 2 riders begin dogfighting, all the while watched by angry eyes

' _I hope Usopp's training is good enough… for this'_

Each strike sends shockwaves through the air, Shura only a little surprised Ganfall was still this strong, despite appearing to be a decrepit old man he was still God before Enaru dethroned him. The problem for him, was his focus on Ganfall, something he needed to do or else the former God would get past his guard and skewer him, meant he suffered a much more humiliating blow, taking a round in the back from the Blue Sea pirates, the fact Ganfall managed to strike him with his Impact Dial gauntlet a moment later when he lost track of him due to pain and anger, was just the cherry on top for him. Lucky for Shura his bird was able to catch both him and his lance before becoming shark bait, rising back up to Ganfall's level

"You think you can beat me? You're just a shell of your former self and the brats below are barely worth my time, ants beneath God's boot. It's time I ended this farce of a fight. **Ordeal Of Strings!** " he declares loudly

The 2 warriors strike in a blur of motion, clashes could be heard even if the Straw Hats couldn't tell anything that was going on, either due to distance or speed. When they landed on their mounts once more neither were wounded badly, but there had been some hits given and taken on both sides of the fight. Ganfall was turning to make another attempt when him and Pierre found themselves unable to move

"What! He's just floating" Chopper gasps

"Clearly not on purpose, he looks to be stuck" Valentina notes, tilting her head confused as to the cause

"You have failed the Ordeal of Strings, and now you die" Shura says as he appears in front of Ganfall, impaling the old man on his flaming spear "Nobody enters Upper Yard without answering to the 4 priests, and now even you Ganfall are simply another offering to the Great God Enaru" he pushes forward with his weapon, pushing Ganfall off his mount and sending him into the cloud sea below

"Ganfall!" The straw hats yell, one realising his only chance hops over the edge of the ship and runs to the edge

"Vivi! What are you doing?" Chopper screams, realsing the princess was no longer standing beside him

"What I must, I'm the only one who can save him" she calls back, uncoiling her slashers before diving off the alter into the clouds

Shura scoffs "Diving into your own demise I see, at least you've made it quick" he then turns to Pierre, who was still frantically trying to escape the strings "And now for the Sky Knight's noble steed. You're without a master, and so without purpose. Time to join that fool in death" he shouts, his bird about to tear into the Horse/Bird

 **Bark**

When it was forced to bank out of the way of a grenade being lobbed at it

"We're not going to just let you do this" Chopper declares, shifting into Heavy Point "We're going to beat you, for Ganfall"

 _Thump, thump, thump_

"Hey guys" Victor, Valentina and Kaya turn at the sound of Artemis' voice "I think we should help her, as that's clearly not working" she says, pointing to Carue trying to move the cannons to point at Shura and his bird, Lasoo beside her firing his exploding baseballs at the enemies, with some degree of accuracy, at least enough to keep them off Pierre.

"You're beginning to annoy me" Shura growls, his mantra picking up the next attack 'explosive rounds the heat dial will cause an early detonation and tank the hit easily' swinging his lance he was right, except for on thing… his lance beign blasted out of his hand and landing point down in the centre of the Merry's deck, Valentina quickly yanking it free so as to avoid burning the ship down "How?" he thinks aloud, before noticing the syrup previously wrapped around his hand and weapon, had moved, crawling it's way up his arm and arounf to his back. The priest chuckles "So it seems you can't just keep making that yellow goo, so now you're trying to salvage as much as you can, removing the bullet from my back. Pity you won't last long enough to use it" he boasts, Foosa dodging the cannon fire as well as Victor's breath bombs. His smirk faded when his mantra picked up the real plan "Oh no you don't you little bitch!" he shouts, jumping off his bird, aiming to kill the girl as quickly as he could before she could activate her technique

The remaining Straw Hats were surprised when Kaya drops her guns, Chopper worrying when he sees her smile as well as her eyes turned solely the colour of honey, before moving her hands into her hair, fingers spread as if they were a crown or headdress

 **Syrup Sea Urchin**

Shura was dead before he hit the deck, the syrup Kaya had managed to get to hit him converging on the on round that entered his back, once contained inside him it shifted, forming a spike ball which lead to dozens of needle sized spikes exiting his chest cavity like a reverse pin cushion. Without a master Foosa didn't fair much better or last much longer, going down when it took a cannon ball to the jaw, cracking his Flame Dial, shortly followed by a 2 stager Lasso carefully regurgitated into the cannon before Chopper fired it

"That was scary" Artemis notes, even as Kaya falls to the ground both due to exhaustion as well as her brian processing what she just did "Remind me never to annoy Aunt Kaya" the artist smiles sweetly and sits with the blond, who accepts the hug being offered.

"CHOPPER! KAYA! I need a medic here!" The straw hats all rush to the side of the ship, Vivi struggling to heave Ganfall up the steps of the alter. Chopper and Victor jump off the ship to help, while Pierre, now free from Shura's cloud strings glides slowly down to meet them, concerned for it's friend and master.

"Okay, we're good he's still alive I can do this" Chopper assures himself, while Kaya slowly made her way down the side of the boat with their medical supplies

 _With Zoro, Robin and Nami_

"From what I can tell we're almost at the shoreline" Robin says to Zoro, who nods gruffly

"And only Nami had a nervous breakdown, guess there are benefits to loosing Usopp, and not having Kaos around to facilitate the aforementioned breakdown" he jokes lightly, turning back to see the red head mumbling to herself "I wish she's just tell us what she saw"

"Clearly it shocked her to her core, as well as cause a temporary break from reality" Robin clicks her tongue as she looks at Nami curiously, she then frowns "I hear more than just the tide now, you?"

"Yeah, actually sounds like an army" he pauses for a moment and chuckles "An some explosions thrown in for good measure. Whatever's going on out there, I hope it's enough to distract this Enaru prick long enough for us to find a way to get off this dirt heap"

"Agreed, this could get very complicated… hey where'd Nami go?"

Zoro blinks and looks behind him "Damn it Nami we don't have time for your games"

"Found her… oh my" Robin gasps as she runs off, Zoro following her as quickly as he could "I understand now" she says quietly, once she heard Zoro stop behind her, equally in shock "Why Nami's brain left her. This shouldn't be possible"

"This, is the other half of Cricket's house… which ended up here, when the rest of the island did" Nami voices Robin's current theory, that Upper Yard was originally from the Blue Sea, this proving it more specifically… to be part of the island of Jaya in particular

TBC

LW: Well I think there's a good place to end it, hope you liked it. Also, 2 priests down, 2 to go.

Translation of Vivi's prayer: (aka what I put into Google translate to get that) Bringer of light, may you grant my family victory against this mockery of your name and purpose.


	50. Straw Hat reunion

LW: Wow, chapter 50. I hope everyone reading has enjoyed it as much as I have, and that you're all still around when I eventually reach chapter 100. Given I've come this far in almost 2 years, I could theoretically reach that marker some time in 2021… let's not hold our breath. Anyway, enjoy the chapter everyone, Lonly loves you all :D

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Straw Hat Reunion

"This place… is the city of Gold!" Nami cheers then drops to her knees "I bet this is my reward for good behaviour eh God?"

"Well Nami has officially lost what little sense she has" Robin notes, to which Zoro snorts

"Nah she didn't bring any with her, she heard there might be gold or treasure and jumped with us, the fact this place is the legendary city of gold is a coincidence" he retorts, not that the red head noticed

Meanwhile

"Whoever designed this place… needs glasses and to join their art" Kaos grumbles, plucking on of the skulls off it's stake with disinterest

"Ah, don't touch that, whoever controls this section put them there, and we're next" Usopp scolds, knocking the skull from the older teen's hand "We barely dealt with one trial, and now we're in another"

"Another trial, sounds fun" Luffy cheers, getting lightly head slapped by Alvida

"Luffy, even if they sound fun, they are slowing our progress and in doing so making it harder to get to our friends" she reminds him, making Luffy frown

"Stupid trials, think you can distract me by being kind of awesome, I'm not afraid of you!" Luffy declares loudly

KABOOM

"Ah, it's them, the priests have heard you!" Usopp aqueaks

Kaos sighs as he sits up properly "Unless Ordeal of Strings, meant fuses… then no, that's an unrelated explosion"

"Why are there explosions on God's island anyway?" Sanji asks, taking his eye off the controls for a moment to look in the direction of the smoke.

A he does a group of Shandoreans hop out, gliding over the gondola and ignoring it, until one looks back at them, then aims his bazooka at the group, firing dead on

"Luffy!"

"On it"

 **Gum Gum, GO FUCK YOURSELF**

The bomb was sent back, Luffy's aim surprisingly accurate, as it managed to get a few of Wiper's goons in the blast radius

"Wiper" one of the shandorians stutters, having watched the boy rather casually deflect their attack

Wiper grunts "Paramecia. He ate one of the Devil Fruits, it's the only explanation for how he could do that. These must be those Blue Sea dwellers causing all the ruckus"

"Luffy, it's him, that guy who attacked us in the White Sea. Just left his tiki mask at home I guess" Sanji notices

"Oh yeah. We're not afraid of you, come out and fight like a man!"

"If you don't want to die, go back to your blue sea" Wiper orders, his voice dripping with condescension "Otherwise, we'll execute you along with Enaru" he then gasps in pain, looking back he sees a metal spike had pierced his right wing

"Just go ahead and fucking try" Kaos hisses, his lips curled into a sneer "Sanji, we're wasting time with these idiots, step on the dial and get moving" he orders, getting nods from Luffy and Alvida, while Usopp cries in the corner, mumbling about ' _suicidal crewmates'_

Ripping out the spike Wiper gives them a dead eyed stare "I won't forget this, get in our way and we'll destroy you" he then turns and using his skates disappears into the trees with the remaining able bodied warriors.

"Well, that was boring" Luffy complains with a sigh, then sat on the boat in a huff.

A little later

"Yah hoo! If this is how I die, at least it was fun" Luffy cheers as the gondola drops down a spiralling cloud canal

"The point is not to die!" Usopp shouts "And what's the point of making a canal spiral like this?"

"Amusement, or boredom depending on who you ask" Kaos replies, gripping the mast as tight as his nails allowed "Amusement for those riding and boredom on the half of the creator"

So was the loop de loop for that matter, which did an excellent job of helping Usopp stick to whatever his current diet was, as he purged the contents of his stomach once they reached the end of it.

 _With the others, a little later_

"Guys we're back, are you okay?" Nami yells as the trio return to the alter, or at least the other side of the clouds to the alter

"Mama, Uncle Zoro, and Miss Navigator are back!" Artemis shouts from the crows nest, getting the others to come out of the Merry to see

"Oh good, we were worried you got killed" Valentina admits as Vivi throws them back the vine so they could return to the ship

 _At that exact same moment_

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first Usopp?" Sanji asks as they begin their final decent

"Good?"

"It's not priests" he deadpans

"It's just a school of sky sharks" Alvida continues with a smirk

"Oh that's a re… SKY SHARKS!"

"Luffy, your turn"

Luffy grins before wrapping his legs around the figurehead of the Crow "Easy"

 **Gum Gum Gattling**

"It's a good thing Luffy's so scary strong, I don't think those guys are meant to go down in one hit" Usopp sighs in relief as the canal levels out again, and they pass through a river of unconscious sky sharks

"Guys, I think we've reached our destination" Kaos chuckles as he points to the alter which the Going Merry was sitting on, then waves to both the exploration party and the repair crew

"It's Luffy and the others" Nami gasps

"Papa!" Artemis cheers, hopping up and down after making it back on deck

"The Straw Hat pirates, reunited at last" Kaya smiles, Chopper doing his happy dance beside her

Inside the Merry

"So, will he make it?" Luffy asks, as they all gather around the unconscious Ganfall

"I believe so, with Chopper and I we should be able to patch him up, even if he won't be much help against Enaru for a while" Kaya answers,

Luffy nods, then he turns to Vivi who sweats "You jumped into sky shark water to save him" he says quietly

"Luffy I…" she begins but gets pulled into a hug by the captain who laughs

"That's so badass Vivi, you rock as always, I wish I'd been there to see it" he grins widely, giving her a quick peck, which Alvida slips in to add her own immediately after

"Don't get me wrong, it was stupid and dangerous, but you were the only one who could have saved the old gheezer, so I'm glad you did Vivi"

"So, now we have the gondola and the Luffy dealt with the sky sharks, we can go over to the shore and make camp" Robin suggests

"Why?" Luffy asks

"So that when Enaru or his minions come looking for us… again… we'll be working from solid ground, and won't get our ship wrecked in a fight with these bastards" Kaos explains "Same reasoning but regarding those weirdoes with the skates we ran into on the way here"

"Oh, okay. Awesome, camping trip!" Luffy cheers, bouncing around

"This isn't a party, we're neck deep in enemy territory, so calm down" Usopp scolds

"Not a party, got it" Luffy then turns to his cook "Hey Sanji, is a barbecue a party?"

 _Evening_

"This sky shark is really good" Luffy cheers, getting nods from a few of the others

Sanji scoffs "As if I'd make anything less than perfection for the ladies to enjoy"

"Quiet down" Usopp scolds, tapping on a blackboard he pulled from the ship "Everyone, time to give your field reports"

"Still not the captain Usopp Kya ha ha" Valentina teases, chuckling to herself, while Kaya rolls her eyes

"We got attacked by some giant dumpling looking bastard named Satori who had cloud balls that had all kinds of crap hidden inside: bombs, snakes, spikes, the works" Sanji begins

"But it's his mantra power that was the worst, he could predict most of our attacks with almost no effort on his part" Alvida adds

"Shi shi shi, good thing Kaos turned that dumpling into a shish kabob ay guys?" Luffy asks with a laugh, digging into more sky shark

Usopp nods "Right, the fact Kaos' reflect powers need someone to attack him in order to do anything is a loophole to the mantra, as well as a trickier one of finding a way to immobilise them without them predicting or even just seeing it coming" he continues "Like those 2 were saying, doesn't matter if you can see 5 seconds or 5 years into the future if you can't DO anything about it"

"We got attacked by a priest called Shura, on a fire bird. He used a lance which burned anything it touched" Chopper begins

"We found a dial in the base of the lance, we presume it's either a heat or flame dial, as that's the only thing that makes sense" Victor adds, having had the time to examine the priests weapon since dealing with him

"He also appeared to have that weird mantra power you mentioned, as most of our attacks he was able to dodge easily" Kaya agrees

"Luckily, Aunt Kaya turned him into a reverse pincushion, and Chopper's animal squad dealt with his bird" Artemis announces proudly

"Wait a minute, we've killed 2 of Enaru's priests?" Nami asks "That's insane, those guys made them sound super powerful"

"They were" Kaos argues

"Oh please, you taking out one I believe, but Kaya, how did that happen if they were so stro…." She stops when a syrup needle stops about an inch from her eye, turning her gaze she sees Kaya had curled up slightly, resembling a honey coloured hedgehog with her back of spines

"Now imagine that, but coming out of someone who isn't a logia. That's what Shura looked like when Kaya was done with him" Valentina explains as the spines retract and Kaya sits up again, looking sheepish

"That… WAS AWESOME!" Luffy cheers

"Moving swiftly on. We didn't get to fight anyone, but we did find out why there's an island in the sky" Robin say, changing the subject

"R-r-right. Upper Yard as originally part of Jaya, the City of Gold didn't sink, it was shot into the sky like we were" Nami explains, her heart still beating like a drum inside her chest

"So the City of Gold, is on this island. Well let's go find it then" Luffy cheers,

"Nice to see you on my team for once Luffy" the red head smirks

"Damn it Luffy, don't you remember what the scary guy with the bazooka said. We'll be executed"

"And God will be mad at us" Chopper adds

"Fu fu fu. I think I might just enjoy this little excursion after all" Robin chuckles, grinning madly, an expression mirrored by her daughter as well as Kaos

"Don't encourage them, you're supposed to be the voice of reason on this crew" Usopp moans, falling to the ground in a heap, Kaya rubbing his back in comfort

Zoro shrugs "Eh, we've pissed off God just by being here, why not hunt for the city of gold while we're up here" he thinks aloud, getting murmurs or nods of agreement from the others

"To spitting in God's face" Kaos toasts

"And getting lots of gold" Nami cackles

"Adventure!" Luffy shouts into the sky

Given it was getting dark rather quickly it was decided they should put off gold hunting until tomorrow, and lucky for all of them as things got darker the land also got quieter, seems the rebels didn't want to fight the priests in the dark any more than the Straw Hats did. From there, while enjoying their late supper, Nami laid out their plans for tomorrow, as well as her theory as to where the City of gold was, but since most of it was her repeating herself Artemis got bored, so Kao watched her as she painted Pierre guarding Ganfall, in a similar manner to Carue with Vivi. Things were actually going well… until the sky wolves appeared

"I'm to young and pretty to die up here" Nami cries, hiding behind Zoro

"Chopper, we need translations please" Luffy yells, as the leader, given his gruff aura and scar across his right eye padded forward and growled at the crew

"You damn 2 legs, we can't hunt with all this racket, go the fuck to sleep!" Chopper translates, wincing at the anger being displayed

"Jeez, calm down a little, we're just camping, we'll be gone as soon as we can" Luffy complains

"Stupid humans, everything up here belongs to us, the dirt, the trees, even the air" the wolf responds (Well Chopper does for him)

"Nobody's stoping me getting my treasure!" Nami screams, punching the wold into the dirt

"Well, we're boned" Valentina sighs, the others tensing as the wolves circle them, until the pack leader howls and they relax

"Girl, you pack one mean punch and I like that rage. If you were like me, I'd want you to have my babies" the wolf says with a smirk, Kaya's syrup tentacles required to stop Sanji attacking him for talking to 'Nami-Swan' like that

"Well, since we're all happy again… it's party time!" Luffy shouts at the top of his lungs

20 minutes later

"You look lost Robin" Kaos muses as he sits with the archiologist

"Tell me I'm seeing what I think I am"

"Luffy having convinced the sky wolves to party with us, then the animals revealing to be expert liquer distillers which has now lead to Nami, Zoro, Alvida, Victor and about a half dozen wolves getting into a drinking contest, while Usopp runs around banging his drum like a crazy person" Kaos lists off everything he sees, chuckling to himself as only Luffy could cause this much insanity unintentionally

"Pinch me this has to be a dream… oh" Robin gasps, turning to Kaos with a raises eyebrow "You had to go for the tit, didn't you?"

He smirks unapologetically and nods "Well, you did say to pinch you" he grins then turns back just as Luffy starts a conga line "Of course you are Lu, never a dull moment"

Robin nods, now smiling herself "indeed"

 _The next morning_

"Ha, see I wasn't hallucinating!" Usopp cheers, jumping around when the group went up to the Merry.

"Someone fixed the ship" Chopper gasps, the damage done by Shura being patched up while they were sleeping

"Nothing special, but it's a good patch job" Valentina notes "Nice of whoever it was, though they also took off the wings and chicken thingie"

"Yeah, weird. It's like whoever it was knew what the Going Merry originally was supposed to look like" Kaya hums, though privately admits the ship did look better as Merry had imagined it

"Well, if the ship's fixed, that just leaves getting her off the alter" Zoro points out "And how the hell do we do that, more importantly, how do we do that without damaging it again?"

Usopp clicks his tongue "I think I have an idea"

"You have a theory" Robin guesses, walking over to Kaos who was rubbing the Merry's figurehead like the ship was a horse or sheep

"1, but not exactly something I'd want to tell Usopp given the rest of the legend" he sighs _'_ _Thank you_ _Klabautermann_ _,_ _you did good work'_ he thinks, feeling something nudge against his senses as if trying to respond and smiles

"If you won't tell the whole story, will I at least get a name?" she asks, curious

"Usopp saw the ship's kobold." Kaos replies, Robin's eyes widen and she understands

A little later

"Anyone else think this version of 'Operation get the Going Merry off that stupid alter' isn't going to work?" Alvida asks while the others watch Usopp and Chopper drive the Crow out into the cloud lake

"Yes, but let's let the boys have their fun" Nami says with a shrug. The Straw hats watched Usopp skillfully grapple the Merry's figurehead then after attaching it to the gondola had Chopper take off at full speed, unfortunately this didn't move the Merry at all, and just damaged the Crow

"Well that didn't work" Vivi says, sighing deeply

"Probably a good thing too" Kaos adds, confusing everyone "If the Merry had moved, where do you think it would have gone?" he asks, pointing to the steps they were all standing on.

"Fuck"

"Papa" Kaos turns and Artemis was pushing on his leg, while pointing out into the lake "What's Usopp doing to brother Chopper?"

"Using him as bait, apparently" Robin answers with a frown "At least he remembered Carue is off limits I guess"

"How does he know Sky Sharks even like reindeer?" Luffy asks

"He doesn't, but he doesn't want to dangle himself out there so Chopper is the next best thing" Victor guesses

"Fire the harpoon Sanji!" Usopp shouts, once Chopper's flailing had managed to attract a bite

The cook frowns but does as asked, kicking the projectile and sending it through the shark's fin, now tethering it to the Merry. With another pass from Usopp the shark had the Merry moving, and in the direction of the crew as predicted. Opps. When everyone had got on the ship, Chopper had been untied and the shark dealt with and cooked (Luffy got hungry watching the shark fail to eat Chopper) Nami pulled out the maps once more

"So, we need to figure out where we go from here. The exploration crew will go this way…" she points on the map "…heading south for the skull's right eye, avoid enemies and bring back that gold!" she orders

"The ruins should be fun to explore and document" Robin thinks aloud, smiling softly

"Wait a minute" Luffy stops them all "You're the one who's been going on about gold and treaure since we were back on Jaya but you're not coming?"

"Of course not, it's really scary out there" Nami replies, technically pointing out the obvious

"Oh, is that why Kaos is sitting this one out? Cause that seems kind of silly" Luffy says with a shrug

"He what?" Nami shrieks, going over her list (which she remembered specifically writing the 2 idiots were to be OFF HER SHIP for as long as physically possible) to see his name scratched out and written on Merry guarding duty. She then freezes when she feels a weight on her shoulder

"Actually I put myself down. Nami in her greedy bitch mentaility forgot something important, that the ship is just as in danger as the gold hunters and unlike some of us, the Merry isn't the tank we'd like it to be so needs somebody around to help keep it safe. No offence to you Artemis, but I think we need more than you and Kaya defending it" the 2 girls nod in agreement, the navigator not moving a muscle until he removed Shura's lance from her body, the heated weapon slightly singing her clothes

"Hey wait a minute I'm staying too" Sanji argues

"And the first pair of tits you see and you'll be dead" Kaos deadpans

"And me, I'm obviously the captain…" Usopp begins

"Kaos is in charge while I'm gone, Nami, Sanji, Usopp, no backtalk" Luffy shouts, caring a lot more about the others disrespecting his borther than himself

"Who are you and what have you done with Luffy?" Zoro asks, surprised to see Luffy act like this outside his random "I'm gonna kick your ass" moments with the big bad

"What are you talking about, I'm right here" Luffy says in confusion, causing Zoro to sigh

"You know what, never mind. We all get our jobs done and hopefully meet back up when all this is done in the north and move onto the next problem… getting down"

"Agreed"

"To Victory" Alvida shouts

"To Victory" the others chorus

"To Gold" Nami adds, giggling like mad

"To the lost history" Robin says, getting smirks from Artemis and Kaos

"Straw Hats…. Move out!" Luffy orders

TBC

LW: So the straw hats have all been reunited… only to separate again, though at least it's voluntary this time. And Kaos remains on the ship because there's something I want him to do, besides annoy Nami of course ;). Chopper might be remaining on the ship, not full decided yet.

For the record, according to the One Piece Wiki **Klabautermann** translates to _'_ _ship's kobold'_ from German, which is why Kaos said that rather than the actual name, not wanting to risk incuring the legend/curse until they were safely back in the Blue Sea.


	51. May the odds be ever in your favour

LW: Here we go, the big gold heist. Also happy 22nd anniversary for the series, last Friday. I was 2 when One Piece began… wow.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – May the odds be ever in your favour

Team Gold diggers started their journey quite smoothly, even if Luffy and Zoro reminded their team they were both equally bad at navigation, lucky for them Robin could remember as well as tell directions, keeping the ground on track and as a single unit, avoiding the threat of splitting up and being picked off one by one.

"This is so boring" Luffy whines, waving a stick around in anger "Nothing here but big tree and dirt"

"It almost sounds like you want them to find us" Vivi says, laughing nervously

"Oh he does, Zoro and Alvida too" Robin informs her, causing Vivi, Kaya and Chopper to pale "They're warriors, we've come all the way into the sky, if they don't fight something big it's a wasted trip" she explains

"Kaos too?" Valentina asks for confirmation, to which Robin nods

"And he knows the ship will be targeted again eventually so is letting them come to him, quite brilliant actually" Victor adds, smirking as they keep walking "And he can conserve his energy for the fight by not walking, talking and putting up with Luffy"

"But he has to put up with Nami, so even trade" Kaya adds, getting a few nods and chuckles

"It doesn't matter our motives" Zoro refutes gruffly "What does it that it's weird things are so quiet, especially given the pitched combat that was going on just yesterday" he points out the others unable to argue that fact.

"Yep, all we've seen is a weird stripy root" Chopper sighs in relief… then freezes when he sees another stripy root, move

"Chopper, did you… see something?" Vivi's jaw drops when she sees something large shifting through the undergrowth

Robin sighs deeply "You just had to tempt fate boys" she grumbles as the root was finally identified… as a HUGE ASS SNAKE! "Luffy. I recommend the next crewmate be a Kuja, or of Kuja descent"

"Why?"

"They can talk to snakes" Robin answers like it obvious

"Really? Awesome!"

"FOCUS!" Alvida and Vivi scream

 _Meanwhile with the others on the Going Merry_

"Any chance we can go any faster Nami?" Kaos asks, sitting with Ganfall and the zoological members of the crew (Lasoo, Carue and Piere) while Artemis tried painting the trio while they trundled along the cloud canal

"Afraid not _captain_ " Nami answers sarcastically "The milky road is too steep for conventional sailing, we only have the Crow as a means of forward momentum for the uphill sections" she replies properly

"Then I guess we'll just have to keep pace, thank you Nami. Hey Ganfall, is it time for your medicine?"

The old man shrugs "Probably, your doctor and medic were insistent on me taking it often" the researcher nods as Ussop goes to retrieve Chopper's pills "Would you kids like to know about the history of this land?"

"Sure, boy Robin is going to be unhappy she missed this"

Ganfall then explained about how Skypeia was quiet and peaceful until about 400 year ago when the section of Jaya/Upper Yard appeared in their land. How they stole it from the original inhabitants, the ancestors of the Shandorians / Guerrillas Ussop, Sanji and Kaos had run into earlier, as well as the man in the mask they all fought in the White Sea. He also admits to have been 'God' until he Eneru appeared 6 years ago, took out his Divine Squad and took his place, not that it matters in the general sense of the conflict

"The Shandorians don't care who God is, only about getting back Upper Yard" he explains

Sanji scoffs "If that were true why'd that nutjob try kill us when we first arrived?" he asks

"The Divine Squad sometimes steal a ship in the hopes of escaping Eneru's control, but the Shandorians still see them as enemies and will attack. He must have assumed that was what you were" Ganfall explains/theorises

"Shoot first, ask questions never cause you dead son! I hope Luffy beats the shit out of that idiot, or I hurt him enough he gets himself killed" Kaos grouses, standing up to check on Artemis' painting "Nice work kiddo, but I don't think Ganfall is smiling under that beard"

"Let her do as she wishes, I like to see children happy" Ganfall responds, Artemis smiling before continuing silently "You are right about Wiper, the man will not rest until either Upper Yard is solely in his possession or he dies trying, he and his followers were the biggest obstacle in trying to negotiate a compromise" he admits "The man wanted the debt of our history to be paid in blood, and I would not allow the innocent to be caught up in his madness"

"And now I'm regretting volunteering for babysitting duty with Artemis" Kaos mutters under his breath, the artist chuckles beside him

 _Back with the others_

"Everybody run, giant snake!"

"We can see that Luffy" Vivi screams back, keeping pace with him as the blue reptile chases them through the forest, moving at speeds unexpected for something that size, as well as to their horror revealing it's jaws contained venom that burned through the trees like acid when it missed biting Valentina and chomped on the plant behind her.

"Change of plan, don't engage just run" Zoro says in an unfamiliarly panicked tone

"Sounds good" Robin responds in a relaxed, practically conversational tone

With some skilful manoeuvring, and Zoro running around blindly as usual they managed to lose it, but also managed to get themselves separated like a bunch of idiots, Zoro and Luffy it's no surprise, but the others it was just unfortunate.

 _On the Merry_

"Holy shit!" Kaos gasps as the dial explodes the barrel and sends Sanji flying across the deck "Okay, new favourite sky to"

"That my young friend is an impact Dial" Ganfall explains, amused by the Blue Sea pirate's reactions and antics "It absorbs and releases all kinetic energy applied to it. In combat they are usually attached to the hand, via a glove or bandage, and if used correctly could maim or even kill an average human"

"Like that living gumball, Satori" Ussop realises "Good thing Luffy, Alvida and Kaos were his main targets, that would have done a LOT of damage to Sanji or me"

"Correct long nose, and if rumor and heresay is to be believed this would be considered the 'base' form, the so called Reject Dial is said to magnify the absorbed damage 10 times before release. Of course the recoil/blowback could often injury or potentially kill the user too, so Reject Dials are rarely seen anywhere"

"10,000,000 berri Wiper has at least one" Kaos whispers to Artemis who chuckle and nods

"Dials are this dangerous, but they're so commonplace up here" Nami gasps, getting a laugh from the researcher before Ganfall could reply

"It seems the people of the sky are just as good as the Blue Sea people at finding ways to make weapons out of their environment, or at least turning things on hand to their advantage"

Ganfall nods "Correct. Dials, even mundane ones can be turned into weapons in the right circumstances. Such as putting a Heat Dial, usually used to cook food into a lance, creating a weapon that burns anything it touches, or putting a flame dial in an animal's mouth, so it appears to breathe fire"

"The guys Kaya killed, and his bird" Artemis notes, figuring out quickly where Ganfall had taken his examples

"Yes, Shura had a heat dial, and he also was adept at manipulating string cloud to ensnare and immobilise his opponent, all Eneru's priests specialise in a form of cloud warfare"

Sanji nods as he stands "Like Satori's cloud balls. Hey old man, what do you know about this Mantra bullshit they were talking about?"

Ganfall's eyes widen "Mantra is very real my friends. I am unable to use it myself so my explanation may not be as accurate as I would like but I will try to explain. It is believed that all living things have a voice, that exists as long as they do. A skilled mantra user can listen to this voice and use it to predict their opponent's next move"

"Wow, hearing the voices of all things, and gaining forsight from it, no wonder this Eneru guy thought he could take on and become God" Usopp whimpers and Nami pales

"The priests skill in mantra enables them to 'hear' throughout the Upper Yard, while Eneru, he can sense the goings on of the entirety of Skypeia. That is why he thinks himself God, and why nobody has been able to stand up to him these past 6 years" Ganfall continues

With Luffy

"Stupid weirdo, I thought I was going to see a sky goat" Luffy grumbles to himself, having just one shoted one of Divine Warriors without even having a fight. He was about to continue singing when he ran into Wiper, the man bloodied and scared but still looking like Enaru pissed on him and said it was raining "Oh, it's you again" he says with a frown

"I told you to leave, I told your little boat of idiots to get out of Upper Yard or suffer the consequences" he growls, reminding Luffy a little of Smoker, only more of a dick

"Hey screw you! I'm a pirate I can go wherever I want" Luffy retorts

"No you can't! This island belongs to the Shandorians"

Luffy frowns "Really, I heard this was God's land. Oh well, it's still a nice place. Besides, I'm just walking through it, not like I'm claiming this land for myself" he says, then begins walking away

"That's not… never mind I'm through playing your games, or indulging your idiotic babble" Wiper grunts, lifting his bazooka to his bandaged shoulder

Luffy smirks, turning to Wiper and cracking his knuckles "Oh so it's a fight you're after, all you had to do was ask"

 _With Robin_

"Judging by the architecture, I must be getting close to the city, shame time and the increased plant growth has done so much damage to the building's stability and structure" Robin thinks aloud, a twinge of disappointment in her voice, though her features only turn down when one of the goat men land on the roof, causing some of the stone roof to crumble

"Tuuuuuurn baaaack. This is the pathway to God's shrine" the man bleets

"Do you have any idea the significance of what you're standing on?" Robin asks, ignoring the idiot's statement "They're priceless"

"Insolent Blue Sea dweller, I was chosen by God himself to guard this path and eliminate anyone who comes through"

"Oh really" Robin hums "Well, then this is justified"

 _ **Deus Fleur**_

 _SNAP_

If the broken neck didn't kill him, landing on his head definitely did. Sighing to herself Robin steps over the body and continues her journey into the City, 2 words breathed out quietly

"Self defence"

 _Zoro_

"South is left so if I keep going left…" Zoro mumbles to himself before catching something out the corner of his eye "Shit it's a guerrilla, why's he mad at me?" he wonders, drawing one of his swords as he dodges a spear thrust "Go away!" he shouts, slamming his sword and fist into the man's face, throwing him against a tree. "Really hope that's it for the moment"

 _Bang Bang_

A body drops out of the bushes, that of a bald man with 2 small goat horn wearing a dress (Like Amenadial says, it's a robe, but it looks like a dress so oh well) _'Crap, more of them'_ Zoro thinks as a gruff looking man with a bucket hat covering his eyes steps out as well, frowning before turning his twin pistols towards the swordsman and firing, the guns flashing like strobe lights as he fires. Zoro raises his swords to try deflect when something grabs his leg and pulls him out of the way and behind a tree.

"And here I thought you were the crew's defender, since when do you need someone to save your butt?" Zoro looks and see's his rescuer was Kaya, her hand reforming from the previous syrup tendril, and at that moment the swordsman was sure their medic spent too much time around Kaos and Robin.

"Thanks, though I had him" Zoro grumbles, hearing the hiss of the Shandorian's boots and turned, rolling out of the way of the gun fire which explodes the blond's head and chest like ripe fruit… before the honey coloured goo pulls itself back together. Kaya smirks then winces, rolling behind a root and cursing as she lets the bullet pass through her forearm.

"Forgot the Logia thing isn't automatic yet didn't you?" Zoro asks, partly out of concern, but also because he hadn't actually seen the girl fight before. Kaya nods and draws her revolvers, firing back and the man had to dash with his dial skates to avoid her ballistic as well as syrup rounds

"I won't make the same mistake twice" she says through clenched teeth, reloading and firing again, Zoro using her distraction as an opening to get closer to the man, having drawn all swords and gotten himself into his correct alignment. The rebel uses a milky dial to get the high ground, the cloud getting him to the high branches where Zoro couldn't strike him and began to return fire.

"I don't know what you are girl, but I know you are a swordsman, which means you need to get close enough to hit me, something I won't allow" the rebel, Braham states "You aren't looking so hot, are my flash guns giving you trouble?" he taunts, smirking when he manages to get Zoro in the leg, as any bullets that don't pass through the Syrup girl she passes by shifting the injured part and reforming it, letting the bullet drop to the ground

Zoro pants as they take shelter behind a tree, Kaya also looking tired from using her fruit power so much "He's right, we're not doing so good. I've got something, that might work…but it's still a work in progress"

The medic nods "Do it, I can't help you with your leg until we've dealt with that buzzard over there. So be the monster and clear the path" she orders, Zoro flashes her a feral smirk at her reference to the group within the crew, he, Luffy and Sanji had formed.

"Hey dumbass"

"What, decided to surrender and beg for a swift death?" Braham asks with an arrogant scoff

"Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch, Thought. These 6 thoughts root us through Good, Evil, and Peace. And lastly, all these can be either Pure or Impure, for these are the 36 Earthly Desires"

"What are you blathering about?" Braham sneers, shooting forward as Zoro holds Wado alone, held over his head

 **Ittoryu: 36 Caliber Phoenix**

Braham hits the ground it a thud, while Zoro sheathes his swords and begins to go the wrong way… until Kaya turns him around.

 _Elsewhere_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I know that scream, we need to catch up to Chopper the poor guy needs us" Valentina gasps, turning on her heels and running in the screams direction, Victor close behind her

"Sounds like the little guy is all on his lonesome, didn't even manage to run into any of the other" Victor guesses, something confirmed when the reindeer practically runs him over, though he does smirk just a little as Chopper shifts from walk to brain point to hug him.

"Victor! Valentina! I was beginning to worry, but I found you guys. I was so worried I'd die alone and never find the ruins, but together we'll find them easy" Chopper cheers

"He's right you know, other than Robin this group we have here is the best navigation on the exploration group" Valentina agrees, helping her former partner up with a smile.

"You're right, let's keep going, I'll be pissed if Zoro gets there before us" he jokes, laughing at the scandalised look on the blond's face at the very idea.

 _Back with Luffy_

 **Gum Gum Balloon**

"I can do this all day, your gun is useless against me" Luffy states, not even as a taunt, more just out of boredom

Wiper's sneer just hardens as he reloads his bazooka and fires multiple shots at the rubber boy, to which Luffy just sighs in annoyance

 _On the Merry_

 _ZAP_

"Sanji" Nami gasps

"I don't hear a heart beat" Usopp panics, checking on the slightly charred cook

Kaos stands, looking the man in the eye as he gently pushes Artemis behind him "So you're the logia I've been sensing since we got here, Enaru I presume?"

Enaru smiles "And you must be the boy with the primitive, imitation Mantra. Yes I am Enaru, but you can call me God"

TBC

LW: Sorry about the length, I decided not to talk about Non Straw Hat related stuff, so less of the source was useable in any way. Oh well, maybe next chapter.


	52. God arrives, Survival games begin!

LW: Like with quite a few things, they happen sooner than I remember/ would have liked, which will probably throw some of my plans out of whack. Eh only time will tell, enjoy until then. Eh the fight will have to happen on a different ship I guess

Rubber King and Mirror Master – God appears, Let the Survival Game begin!

"Sanji! Oh sweet cook, gone before he could even reach 1st base with a woman" Usopp moans, cradling the burned blond to him closely "Oh why didn't we keep one of our doctors on board?"

"They wanted to leave" Artemis offers with a shrug "Plus Chopper is good with heavy lifting, and Nami's gold fetish needs as much as we can carry"

"Either we get Nami to rub her boobs in his face, see if that wakes him up, or… you could check the left side of his chest, where the heart usually is on a human" Kaos suggests. Usopp cheering that Sanji was still alive when he hears a weak pulse

"Enaru" Ganfall hisses angrily

"Oh Ganfall, don't look so cross, you're ruining such a lovely reunion" Enaru pouts and complains, as Sanji is set on the ground and the sniper stands

"I don't know what you did, but if you don't want me to set my 8,000 followers on you I order you to leave!" Usopp commands, though not just his knees but most of his body was shaking. Surprisingly this appeared to work, Enaru disappearing in a flash of light "Huh, that actually worked, that never works" Usopp says what the others were thinking until…

 _ **ZAP**_

A charred Usopp falls with Eneru standing right in front of where he was, energy crackling at his fingertips as Nami and Artemis watch in horror, Kaos looking as angry as Ganfall, silver streaking down from his eyes and spreading from his fingertips

"If you don't want to join your friends, I suggest you be quiet" Eneru states, then turns to Ganfall

"What do you want Enaru, why are you here?" he asks, Eneru going off on a tangent instead of really answering

"During the 6 years I've controlled this island, I've kept your former subordinates VERY busy. They've been slaving away for me all this time, with barly any time to rest" Eneru taunts

"My Divine warriors, reduced to slaves"

"Yes, very useful slaves, but slaves none the less. Though I bring good news, that their years of hard labour are over. This island is no longer useful to me, so their services are no longer required" Enaru smirks and sits "I presume you believed me to arrive with sinister motives, but I'm merely here to bid you farewell"

"Why do I not believe that?" Kaos mutters lowly, the logia ignoring him most likely.

"I will admit, there are times when I envy the naïve idiocy of the Skypeins. They see a clump of Verth in the sky, nothing more"

"What are you talking about?" Ganfall asks

"You still don't get it you old coot, why we took this island in the first place. The same reason the Blue sea flies (ironic given they're the only ones _**without**_ wings) are here, and the Shandorians keep trying to take it back rather than simply find a new island to live on. They are all here for the treasures of Shandora, the legendary city of gold, that once prospered on the Blue Seas before it ascended to the White White Sea where it rests until now. Gold is what brings us all to this land!"

"What is gold, and why do you all desire it so much?" Ganfall asks, the same confusion the straw hats had over Dials clear in his voice, which is probably why Eneru laughed so hard

"That ignorance continues to amuse me. The people who don't understand gold and it's value, are the ones practically swimming in it" he laughs "You don'y even know what it is, so how could you win this game"

' _Game?'_ they all think

"Interesting this game of survival is reaching it's Endgame, and the winners get the gold. Can you hear it now, the sounds of the game being played?" he asks, explosions audible from the Merry, the Straw hats praying it was the Shandorians and priests, not any of their friends "In fact, I'm a contestant myself, so I must be off"

"Eneru wait!" Ganfall shouts "Will you release the warriors?"

"God only knows, and I'm not telling" Eneru quips, before flickering away

"He just vanished" Nami gasped

"Yeah, being made of lightning means he can do that I guess" Kaos shrugs, then heads down to Choppers quarters to try find something to help their injured crewmates.

"haha"

"hoho"

' _Oh God, not more of him'_ a barely conscious Usopp thinks, remembering how much of a pain in the ass Satori was, so 2 of them should be even worse

"Who are you?" Artemis asks "Are you bad guys, cause Papa will kick your ass if you are"

 _With Luffy_

"I can do this all day" Luffy remarks "A rubber body, means your gun is useless"

Wiper scowls "Just means I'm using the wrong payload" then clicks open his bazooka and slots in a shell/dial. He then aims it at Luffy, and a strong gust of wind slams into him

"What the?"

"This is the power of the Burn Bazooka, or it will when I ignite the gas being released by the Breath Dial, producing a blue flame which should incinerate anything in it's path. Can your rubber body handle the heat punk?"

 _Click_

 _Whack_

 _Whooooosh_ _ **BANG**_

Wiper fired the bazooka, but a blow to the side threw off his aim, missing Luffy by feet, to the rubber boys relief

"I can see why Kaos keeps such a close eye on you most of the time"

"We turn around for one minute and already you're nearly dead"

Luffy grins "Alvida, Vivi" he cheers, the duo nod as Alvida catches her mace, which he noticed had one of Vivi's slashers wrapped around it's grip

"I remember you, you were on the boat with this idiot" Wiper says, looking angry as usual

"And you're the dumbass with the bazooka. What's this?" Alvida smirks, pointing to his bandaged wings "Seems our brother left some war wounds on Mr Deathwish over there" she says to Vivi who giggles

Wiper grits his teeth "Make a fool out of me you bitch!" he growls, aiming his bazooka at the 2 before having to avoid a kick to the face

 **Gum Gum Stamp**

"Nobody hurts my girls, nobody hurts my crew. Your fight is with me…" his head shoots forward due to being smacked with Alvida's mace, even if it doesn't hurt

"Idiot, you can't just go fight every dipstick on your own, this fight will be quicker with help" she shouts, sliding over as Wiper uses his skates to get the aerial advantage, firing his bazooka which the others barely dodge

 **Gum Gum Pistol**

 **Frictionless Takedown!**

Wiper skates out of the way of both attacks, kicking Alvida causing his seastone skates to send her flying. Slasher cord wraps around his left arm but he just pulls Vivi towards him, smashing his bazooka into her face so she'll drop the threads. He then dodges another kick to the face, firing back with blue flame and missing

"You like Bazooka's huh, well take a lookie here at mind!"

 **Gum Gum…**

 **Burn…**

 **BAZOOKA!**

The colliding attacks shoot both men several yards away, A bruised and probably internally bleeding Wiper sitting up with a glare and growl of Straw Hat, while and blackened and pissed off Luffy sits up and dusts himself off.

"Luffy!" Vivi and Alvida shout as they help him up "What the hell is up with that guy?"

"He's a dick, so I'm going to kick his a… hey what's that?" Luffy looks up just as a shadow envelops them

' _Fuck!'_

"Where'd those weirdoes go" Wiper thinks aloud then looks at his bandaged hand "Doesn't matter, I should save my energy for Eneru, the Reject Dial should be strong enough to kill even a man like him, and if it doesn't at least I'll die spitting in his face" he then skates off, heading for the monster in the clouds

 _Back on the Merry_

"She has a point, who are you weirdoes?" Nami asks, creeped out by the 2 dancing bouncy balls

"That's a stupid question"

"We're deputy Divine Warriors"

"You killed our brother Satori"

"So now we're here for revenge"

"Brother?" Nami repeats in confusion

"The ball guy? With the glasses?" Artemis asks, thinking the name sounded familiar

"That's him, our big brother, Priest Satori" the 2 agree, then stand with a glove pointing towards the girls

"You can call me Hotori

"And I go by Kotari" they introduce themselves, not that it made things make more sense at all.

"That's nice, but we didn't kill anyone" Nami argues

"Unless it's that ball guy, then papa killed him real good…OW" Artemis whines, rubbing her head

"Not helping" Nami hisses, now with her climatact out.

"See you did know who he was this whole time, and now you're going to pay" the brothers yell, their high pitched shrieks a pain on the ears, even more than they were a pain in the eyes.

Ganfall stands with a grunt and a sigh "Enough of this foolishness, Piere!" he shouts, the horse/bird tossing him Shura's Lance "We must deal with these cretins before they can further delay us"

Nami sighs "Fine, but combat isn't what I'm here for" she says, swinging her climatact as she steps over Sanji and Usopp, putting herself between the junior priests and her friends "Doesn't mean I'm going to just roll over though"

 _Meanwhile_

"Okay, where the fuck are we now?" Vivi asks, the other 2 knowing she was getting annoyed given the royal rarely swore, unlike the rest of them.

 _With Chopper, Valentina and Victor_

"Hello, anybody!" Chopper yells as the trio make their way across the clouds, they reached the ruins, but still hadn't come across any of the others yet

"Think we're the first here?" Victor asks

"Unlikely, Robin might even have Nami beat in terms of directional ability on a personal level, even after that scuffle there's no way she got lost. Unless she ran into Zoro in which case…" Valentina argues

"…she's spending all her time NOT losing him" they finish together, laughing until they see the man in front of them "Hey Chopper, we got a problem"

"Hm?" Chopper looks up, then immediately hides behind Victor "Scary no eyes man! Protect me!" he shouts, trembling

There were a few minutes of silence, Valentina and Victor preparing for an attack, Chopper cowering behind them, and Getatsu staring blankly at nothing, until…

"Getatsu, you can't see the enemy with your eyes rolled back" one of the divine warriors called to him, causing the man to immediately correct his issue with a yelp of _**'How careless'**_

"Well, we got us a dumb one this time" Valentina grouses, not sure if that's a good or bad thing, after all Luffy's practically brain dead at times, and nobody on the crew would want him as an enemy

"3 trespassers, allow me to introduce myself. _I am Getatsu, priest of God Enaru and master of the Ordeal of Swamp'_

"We're waiting" Chopper mumbles

"Getatsu, you forgot to speak out loud again"

"So Careless!" the priest shouts dramatically, then composes himself "Anyway, this entire region is my domain, once you step into my Swamp Clouds you'll be trapped. My ordeal has a survival rate of 50%"

"That's not so bad, pretty sure we've dealt with much worse" Victor notes with a smile, getting nods from the other 2

"The ordeal begins, Milky Dial!" he yells, shooting up into the air with the dials in his shoes

"That's really cool" Chopper swoons, mostly because nothing bad had happened yet, changing when Getatsu formed a purple cloud between his hands "Hm, what's that?"

"Prepare to be defeated. I present my Swamp Cloud, inescapable and unstoppable" he explains, before throwing it down… and hitting the divine warrior rather than any straw hats

 **Swamp Cloud Burger**

"Shitty aim, but damn is that a nasty power" Valentina grimaces as the goat man succumbs to the cloud and collapses, only for Chopper to try pull him free "What's he doing, he's the enemy?"

"He's a Doctor, the desire to help is strong in them" Victor answers, watching Chopper rescue and resuscitate the warrior "He okay Chopper?"

"Yeah, good as new" Chopper grins from his Brain Point

"Having to be saved by a heretic, pathetic" Getatsu sneers, as he floats down onto a piece of rubble

"You've gone too far this time, I will never serve you again Getatsu. Fear my Axe Dial as I spill your lifeblood"

 **Jet punch**

Despite behaving like a complete idiot, much like Luffy this priest was quite strong, as seen when he punched his former subordinate into a pillar, collapsing it on top of him

"Well, shit" Victor winces "Guess he'll be a problem after all"

"With a Jet Dial, an enemy can be dealt with before they even know the fight as been won. The only downside is it's not clothing friendly" Getastu appears to joke, referring to the hole in his jacket from using the dial on his elbow

"We're all going to die!" Chopper screams before running away

"I think not"

 **Jet Punch**

 **Bombardier Guard**

 **BOOM!**

"Think they're okay?" Valentina asks, using her fruit to float over to Chopper

"Victor has to, plus I doubt a priest can be felled with one explosion" he answers sadly in the end, then smiles when Victor stumbles out of the smokescreen

"Note to self, don't do that again" he grimaces, then coughs up some blood, worrying Valentina and Chopper who rush over to him

"That was stronger than I expected, you even caught me off guard, my mantra didn't see that attack coming" Getatsu wheezes as he too becomes visible

"2 for 2, now what?"

Chopper hums "I could scan for a weak point, if he has one" he offers

"Do it" Victor orders

 **Brain Point: Scope**

' _Hm, his feet_. Guys we need to unbalance him, then Val can take him out form above" Chopper says with a determined look in his eye

"Kya ha ha, well it is my specialty, can I have a leg up Vic?"

"Of course"

 **1kg bounce**

Valentina shoots up into the air, just as Chopper dives for Getatsu, grabbing him by the leg

"Grr, get off me you stupid Raccon-Dog!" Getatsu yells, kicking Chopper and slamming him into some of the rubble, then noticing Valentina hovering in the air via her umbrella "You think you can hide up there, the sky is MY domain!" he announces, rising… and flailing erratically as he does. "What?" he thinks out loud, only then seeing he was missing a shoe _'That little shit'_

"You stole his shoe, of course. The dials he used to fly were in both shoes…" Victor begins

"So remove one and he loses power and control, leaving him wide open for Valentina" Chopper finishes grinning widely in Heavy Point

"What?" Getatsu squeaks

 **500 kg skull cracker**

While missing the intended point of the body, she did crack his shoulder and send him flying into one of his own swamp clouds, though his milky dial shot him through the trap cloud and downward, far below

"We did it? WE DID IT!" Chopper cheers, catching Valentina and hugging her, to the woman's amusement and slight embarrassment

"I can see why this trial was 50%, the cloud is deadly, the priest was a moron" Victor chuckles

"True, now let's continue on our journey, hopefully Luffy and Zoro don't have all the treasure collected already" Valentina teases as Chopper lets her go

"You're right, onwards and upwards!" he cheers, leading the way towards the beanstalk looking structure (Called Giant Jack, because you know what that's supposed to reference)

 _With Robin_

"Shandora" Robin reads as she examines a totem like monument on her way, as old and crumbling as everything else she's seen so far, as well as learning of the city's rise, peak prosperity and fall from the carvings on and around it, noting to her joy the city's fall coincided perfectly with a period of history completely undocumented in the Blue Sea, the Void Century, approximately 800 years ago "This place as been separate from the land below for so long, there may be clues as to what happened, maybe if I go further into the ruins I'll find my answers" she thinks aloud, jotting down the city plans on the monument, before her work was interrupted by some fat guy "Who's there?" she shouts, turning on her heels

"Why aren't you a pretty thing" Yama leers, his 3 chins jiggling as he moves closer to her

"Hm, are you more of Eneru's henchmen? The last ones were pathetically weak" Robin asks with a tone of disinterest, having barely needed to exert herself to deal with them

Yama scowls "Henchmen!? I am Divine Commander Yama in service to God Eneru"

"And what do you want then, Divine commander?" Robin asks curiously

"I don't want to talk" he grunts, then bellows loudly, scaring the south birds from the trees, before throwing a punch through the pillar, though Robin's limber form was able to dodge easily

"You brute, can't you see the damage you're inflicting, the history you're destroying!" Robin shouts angrily, to which Yama laughs

"I'd be more concerned about saving yourself than this pile of rubble" he cackles, to which Robin sneers, crossing her arms over her chest. She dodges a couple more strikes before being backed up against and then punched through another pillar

"Bastard" she hisses, pulling herself to her knees

 _Back to the Merry_

"Hold still you little punks" Nami growls as she swings her climatact, though much like Ganfall's lance and Artemis' colour traps the 2 gumballs bobbed and weaved around them. One catches her bo, then presses a gloved hand to her face ' _I'm doomed_ '

 _Pffffffffft_

Nami gags as she falls to the ground "What, is this?"

"Flavour Dial fart" Hatori chirps, bouncing around with his brother

"These 2 are morons" Artemis sighs, then yelps as she dodges a blast from the other's Flame Dial

"Revenge will be ou…yahhohohhohoho!" Kotori is interrupted… by being backhanded through at least 2 trees.

"I leave, for 5 minutessssss" Kaos hisses, looking annoyed even as his hair hides his eyes.

"You! You're the one who killed our big brother Hotori shouts "Eat this"

 **Flavour Dial**

The marshmallow laughs as the researcher sways, then screams as he's headbutted by his own face visible on a featureless head. He's then punched backwards, right into Ganfall's Heat Lance, which causes a small explosion when the puffball accidentally reactivates his flavour dial

 **BOOM**

 _Crack_

"Who's on clean up duty again, cause I get the feeling he's going to be a pain to get out of the wood" the voice was tinny, and echoed, but it was still Kaos, even through a smile crack in his armour

"1st Satori, now Hotori, you'll pay for this" Kotori shrieks, going for the offensive, until he landed on Artemis' purple colour trap "What, I can't move!"

"True" Kaos laughs, then kicks and pins the cloud man against the side of the ship with his boot on his sternum "You 2 were also so beneath me, I didn't need to use my Devil Fruit to end either of you"

 _Splash_

"Did you really need to do that, on the deck, in front of the child?" Nami scolds, referring to the rather messy decapitation the purplette had just performed, followed by the only thing she did approve of, tossing both parts of the carcass into the cloud canal

Kaos shrugs "Eh, probably not, but they're gone, and the ship is safe. Does that help?"

Nami groans, pinching the bridge of her nose "A little, now get back to healing the others, Boss" she makes her way to the steering pole, while Kaos and Artemis smirk, meanwhile Ganfall sits with the anmals, this ship was insane but he was getting used to it.

 _20 minutes later_ (Anyone know how long it takes to put on armour?)

"You're leaving, right now?" Nami asks/yells "You're leaving a lady defenceless? Some knight" she scoffs, to which Ganfall chuckles to himself

"You'll be fine, you are a fairly competent staff wielder, plus the little girl and the Hosomi no Otoko, they will provide adequate protection while they care for the others" he says pointing below deck where Kaos and Artemis had moved the other 2 into Chopper's infirmary "You will be fine, I need to find out why Eneru had come down from his temple, and what he meant when he said he was leaving. Locating and rescuing my surviving Divine Warriors is also a priority" He whistles for Pierre who comes over carrying his original lance "You can keep the Heat Lance, it's weighted differently to mine so I will do better keeping what I had. Plus it gives you another weapon against any more attackers" he retrieves his weapon and climbs on the birds back, flying away without even looking back

"Come Back Here you BASTARD!" Nami screams, then sighs when it's clear Ganfall was gone "Just great, what could possibly happen now

Boom

"Damn it Anna, what did you do now?" Kaos shouts as he follows Artemis back on deck

"It's not a guerrilla, they'd have shot that at us" Nami responds, still tense though, until the waver comes closer

"Hey, it's that angel girl who sold us out" Artemis states, causing Carue and Lasoo to get mad, Nami to look confused and Kaos to chuckle, mostly because he was sure none of the Trial 4 had even implied they'd been betrayed/sold out, much less by Conis or Paguya.

"Hesu everyone…. Or just Miss Nami, Artemis and Ser Kaos" Conis greets and waves as the Waver/Gondola stops beside the Merry

After a brief kafuffle, and Kaos learning there was a non gory use for a blade that produces wire, that being restraining irritating and violent Shandorian brats from the mast, Conis, Paguya and their reluctant passenger Aisa were all let onto the Merry, as well as briefed on the current situation

"This is terrible, and it's all my fault" Conis whimpers, until she gets head slapped by both Kaos and Artemis

"Even if us being here is partly your fault, you didn't tell the knuckle dragger to attack Upper Yard while we were still up here"

"Hey, don't bad mouth Wiper, he's gonna kill God so show him respect"

"Shut up brat!" he growls, just as a grey syrupy resin covers her mouth, gagging her "For one I have a better chance of killing God than he does, not that it matters killing Logia's are pretty close to impossible without SeaStone weaponry" (Because Haki isn't a thing yet)

"Anyhow, you'd best get the Merry going across the bridge we just made, before any of the enemy notice" Paguya pleads

"Unless they somehow missed the obnoxious horn, I think they know already" Nami grouses

"I doubt they heard it over all the explosions" Artemis argues and the navigator agrees after some thought

"Oh, one more thing, I brought you a gift"

"A gift?" Nami asks in confusion, then gapes in shock "You got us a Waver?"

Paguya blushes "Actually I repaired the one you gave me, it's now at peak performance" he says proudly

The mood drops when light flashes in the sky and Aisa flails madly above them, sensing more of her people's life being snuffed out

"Looks like God is having another temper tantrum, wonder how many of his troops got caught in friendly fire" Kaos muses with a smirk, just before letting Aisa down

TBC

LW: Back to normal with fighting and a 4,000+ word chapter.

On the subject of Enaru and Seastone, given his arrogance, it would be pretty easy to kill Enaru with even a small seastone dagger, and given it's what the Shandorian's skates are apparently made of, they could melt one down really easily, or just kick him to death. Hell at this point in the anime Kamakiri put a spear through his head; a seastone tip like Smoker's jitte would have killed him right then and there.

Also for the record, Ganfall called Kaos slender man, which is what Hosomi no Otoko means in English (well I did it the other way round, so Japanese speakers, feel free to correct me as always).


	53. Final priest, Ohm

LW: More fighting as the game continues and the crew keeps heading closer to the City.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Final Priest, Ohm.

 _Going Merry_

"So this kid…" Artemis muses, poking Aisa with her brush "is the only Shandorian with that mantra thing Eneru and his goons can do?"

"Hey quit it, you don't know what it's like, feeling the voices of everyone around you, then the sensation of someone you know just stop" Aisa yells back, her eyes misting up

"Is the kid crying again, I though you were going to get her to stop" Nami asks as she returns from trying out the repaired/upgraded Waver, getting a shrug and monotoned _'I tried'_ from Kaos

"I'm not crying you dumb blue sea weirdo"

"Sure you aren't. Remind me to keep Luffy away from the waver he nearly broke Paguya's one and this is a lot stronger and delicate" Kaos and Artemis nod then smirk when they see Aisa shiver as Lasso tries comfort her, by lying on her lap with his big dopey face staring up at her.

 _Meanwhile_

"This place just goes on forever, you as hungry as I am?" Zoro asks as he sits on a tree root, Kaya nodding as a rumble proves his point, the 2 taking out the food Sanji made everyone (Kaya's obviously better than Zoro's but both were still great) when they attracted unwanted company

"Doooooooo" Crooned the giant South bird

"I think it wants our food" Kaya notes

"Well it can't have any, we need the food in case the priests or rebels attack, plus if we feed it it'll never leave us alone" Zoro argues, speeding up the stuffing of his face with the lunch to prevent the bird trying to steal from him

Kaya nods sadly, petting the bird's oddly shaped head "Sorry big guy, we need it more, plus I doubt you'd get much nutrients from the small amount we could spare anyway"

"Dooooooooooo" the southbird groans, but stays with the duo, even when they finish their meals and continue their journey

Elsewhere

"Well, seems you're all talk Blue girl" Yama taunts as Robin spits blood, having just been tackled through another ruined wall.

 **Drop Mountain**

 **Veinte Fleur**

Robin's blooms were able to protect the pillar from Yama's bulk, but even spread across 20 arms the recoil still caused a lot of pain to shoot through her real arms, not helped by being slammed into the ground by the impact itself

"How long will you protect this withered husk of a ruined city? Will you die for it, or will you finally break and save yourself?"

"I will never stop. Why must you disrespect and desecrate that which your ancestors held sacred?" Robin asks, not quite able to stand again yet

"The past means nothing to me, why should I care about this place?" Yama grunts and shrugs (oddly enough Luffy has a similar mindset, given he doesn't care about what people have done, just who they are now.)

Robin sneers "That doesn't surprise me, only fools think that way" she responds, causing Yama to frown, as he could tell she was insulting him

"How dare you mock your betters!" He shouts

 **Punch Mountain**

' _I have to lead this brute away before he destroys everything'_ Robin thinks as she jumps out of the way of Yama' fist, the Brekan following behind her as she runs, destroying everything in his path in his quest for revenge on his pride/honour. She stops when Yama kicks some rubble into the structure in front of her, finally annoying her enough to fight for real. Luckily for her own plan, they were on the edge of the city by that point, though as she turns to face him she sees all the mindless destruction caused by the man's pursuit of her

"So, you've finally stopped running, ready to die then?" Yama asks

"It's too late for you" Robin says flatly

"Too late?" Yama repeats in confusion

"Even if you repent, I will never forgive you for what you have done"

Yama scoffs "You won't forgive me, just because I wrecked a few worthless ruins you seem so enamoured with? A pile of rubble that isn't even yours?"

"Correct" Robin notes, setting aside her hat and bag "Those ruins don't belong to anyone. I'm tired of this fight, and I'm bored trying to make you see sense. This ends now"

"You're right, cause I'm going to bury you in the ruins you love so much

 **Drop Mountain**

 **Treinta Fleur: Hang**

Bloomed hands stretch out and grab Yama's legs, stopping his attack mid wind up "All you do, is rush blindly like a wild boar, never thinking about the history you carelessly destroy" Robin hisses before swinging/slamming him face first into the tree she'd bloomed the arms from, before having to drop him due to being too much dead weight for her blooms to hold up for long

A red mist fills Yama's vision as he stands, seeing Robin still standing where she'd been when he first tried attacking her. With a series of flips that should probably be impossible for a man of his body shape he leaps high above Robin screaming "I'll tear you to ribbons!" and revealed his Ten Fold Axe, a sash fitted with 10 Axe Dials.

Robin's lip curls as she crosses her arm, blinding Yama as she flips his sash around, only releasing the blooms when it was too late for the Commander to either flip them back or stop himself slamming into the tree behind her, activating the dials and causing a veritable bloodbath.

Slowly approaching the groaning and heavily injured man Robin blooms extra hands so she could actually lift his thick skull so they could speak once more "What you've destroyed, is priceless relics of a time so far back it's worth is actually incalcuble. History repeats itself, whether we like it or not, but we still can't go back in time despite many attempts to try, not that a brute like you could understand"

"I, I understand" Yama wheezes, pleading to Robin " Please, I'm sorry, won't you forgive me?"

Robin flashes a cruel smile "You already know the answer. I warned you, that what you've done, is unforgivable in my eyes"

"Then I'll just kill you" Yama yells, reaching out to grab her with his meaty fists

 **Clutch**

 _Crack_

Yama's hands fall limp and Robin sighs, so much history destroyed, and for what?

It will surprise no one that Robin was the first to arrive in their agreed meet up spot, and she was amazed, but unsurprised to find ruins, effigies, a poneglyph…. Wait what!?

Yep, after digging through the island cloud to enter the main structure of Shandora, Robin found herself frozen as she found something she believed she wouldn't find in a million years, another poneglyph. Maybe this one will contain the history of the Void Century

 _With Chopper, Valentina and Victor_

"Are you sure climbing this is the correct move?" Val grumbles, probably a little late to be voicing the complaint

"Well, there was no gold down there, so the only other option was up" Chopper says cheerfully

"Besides, we're nearly at the top, plus if we get their first, maybe we can convince the others to use it as a way to muzzle the crew's true wild beast" Victor assures her, then both share a private smirk, Chopper high enough above them not to hear the last part

"I like that idea, let's keep moving then" Val nods and keeps moving, following their reindeer through the cloud layer and up to the ruins "We made it, whoops!"

"The ground is crooked, watch your step" Chopper warns her, the 2 decide to follow his lead as they make their way through the city

 **Grrrrrr**

"Did Lasoo follow us?" Victor asks jokingly, the others shake their head, also hearing the noise, then Val jumps just before a large dog flops down beside her, looking mostly bored

"Hm, more of you" Ohm, a bald man with shades and purple swirl tattoos on his right arm notes "So you must have been the ones who killed that spider haired freak"

"Think he means Gezuntight?"

"You mean Getatsu" Chopper corrects, not that Ohm cared or wa really listening

"Eh doesn't matter, one less idiot in the world is a blessing, don't you agree?" he asks, the others unsure if he was being rhetorical, while he assumed they were silent due to fear, Chopper even beginning to back away slowly "Don't be afraid of Holy, he's just my pet"

Valentina scoffs "And I'm sure Priest Shura thought the same of his bird, didn't stop him roasting us"

Ohm shakes his head "No, Shura saw his bird, Foosa as a war mount, completely different. Foosa is perfectly well trained, wouldn't hurt anyone" he assures them, just as Chopper finds the body of the last person to enter Ohm's trial

"Then how do you explain THAT!" Chopper yells from behind Victor, pointing to the dead Shandorian

"Oh him, I did that" Ohm states flatly, still sitting with his legs crossed from the area he was watching them from, he then frowns "Why do men fight, when they know how fragile their lives are?"

"Are we about to get a philosophy lecture?" Val mutters

"Possibly"

"Man was put here to find happiness, and yet they throw themselves into battle, time after time, only to lose their lives and with it the happiness they sought, as well as the happiness of others alongwith it. The nature of man is tragic, and selfdestructive, and so the only way for man to be redeemed…. Is for them all to die"

His last statement causes a metaphorical spit take in the 3 straw hats, as well as a calmer _'Oh great, another fucking loon'_

"Why are you here?" Ohm addresses them directly

Chopper happily answers "That' easy, we were looking for the City of Gold…"

"Greed only leads to ruin" Ohm interrupts "You must be rescued"

"Well we are in a ruin"

"Why do I get the feeling that word means something different up her than down in the Blue Seas?" Val worries

Ohm finally stands, drawing a pure white sword "Only death will save you from your earthly desires"

"Fucking called it!" the kilo girl yells as they take the sensible response to that, aka running away, the 2 humans periodically checking behind them to see if Ohm was following or not

"Okay, so we've put some distance between ourselves and killdozer over there, now what?" Valentina pants, the trio finally taking a moment to breathe, unfortunetly they didn't count on the blue energy from the priests attack, cutting them down before they could even run away

"This is the Ordeal of Iron, the Survival Rate is… 0" Ohm states solumly.

 _At the Going Merry_

"Nami, the brat jumped ship" Kaos calls with a sigh, watching the navigator wrestle the irritable shandorian child into the waver after diving in after her "That wasn't an order to go save her you know, if she wants to be burnt to ash so badly let he be, or she could have just asked" he grouses, slamming Hebi's current form against the deck, electricity arcing between the trident's points.

"Everything is giant around here, even the snakes" Artemis chirps, setting up her easel

"It would se…. what?" Nami squeaks, looking up as Kaos turns, seeing a large, blue, bearded serpent beside the Merry

"§Well shit§" Kaos hisses, noticing the others on deck were frozen in fear, even though much like Laboon the animal seems completely unaware of their prescience "Artemis, is this really the best time?" he asks, rather genuinely

"Oh course Papa, otherwise the snake will have moved"

Speak of the devil… the snake shrieks and begins flailing, worrying the people on the boat as it may damage or outright destroy the Merry in it's spasms

"Why's it doing that?"

"It looks to be in pain, maybe something it ate disagrees with it?" Kaos guesses, getting a nod from Artemis as it sounds possible

"Well as long as it doesn't eat us I don't really care" Nami shouts up, as she drives Aisa back to the Merry, only to catch the snake's attention _'Oh crap'_

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Nami don't go into the forest" Paguya warns but the navigator ignores him, speeding away with the Lord of the Sky on her and Aisa's heels

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Conis asks when the rumbling subsides

"Realistically, Nami should be screwed, but the ginger quim has surprised me before so she'll survive this with only severe mental scaring. The crew is going to need a psychologist one of these days" Kaos answers, sitting beside Artemis who frowns at the rough sketch she'd drawn of the snake before Nami made it run away

"It was in a lot of pain just now" she says quietly

"I know" he agrees "Well, no point standing around doing nothing, we already have a destination we should be getting to"

 _Meanwhile. With Zoro and Kaya_

"We should have thought of this ages ago" Kaya chuckles, referring to the syrup strands keeping Zoro from straying too far from her, preventing his usual method of disappearing which is going off in a random direction when he should be still walking straight

"We only got that fruit before reaching Jaya, also where the hell are we?" Zoro grumbles, not wanting to admit she had kept them from getting lost or separated

"A rope would have done just fine, all my powers mean is you can't simply slip free by accident. As for location" Kaya hums, looking for some kind of marker in the ruins "I guess we're almost at the base of that stalk, something important must be at the top or they'd have cut it down by now rather than just let it grow" Zoro grunts in agreement and they keep walking, inadvertently entering a confrontation near it's breaking point

"More of Straw hat's friends" Wiper growls from above them, alerting them to his as well as Ganfall, Piere and Ohm's prescience

"Hey look it's Ganfall, but he's supposed to still be on the ship" Kaya gasps

"Correct my dear, but I had urgent business to attend"

"So we have Sky Knight, tiki guy, and some weirdo with cool shades" Zoro lists off, turning to Ohm "Hand over all your gold" he demands, causing his travelling companion to facepalm

Ohm scoffs "Another greedy sinner stands before me, seeking salvation"

"I've had enough of this, out of my way, or be annihilated" Wiper shouts

' _Wrath, the 2_ _nd_ _most deadly sin'_

"Ohm, enough of this, tell me where Eneru and my Divine warriors are" Ganfall orders

Kaya sighs "Looks like we're going to have to fight him" she says quietly

Zoro chuckles "What was your first clue, him being a priest, the giant dog, the almost comedically long (not big, the blade appears to not be much wider than a normal length katana) sword, or the dead angels littered around this area

Ohm stands, readying his blade "I'm sure you all think yourselves important, but if you desire anything, then first you must either beat or find salvation, in the Ordeal Of Iron!"

'Not another one, Ordeal of String was bad enough' the logia grimaces, just as the Lord of the Sky crashes into the vicinity

"Prepare for death, Mighty Enaru has prophesized you won't survive to the end of the Survival Game" Ohm says as he adjusts his shades

"Is that so?" Zoro scoffs, readying his own swords

"If your hearts hadn't been tainted by greed, you might have lived longer, not by much, but still. I'll give you all a few minutes to repent before administering judgement" Ohm states in his usual voice/demeanour, then jumps on his dog's back "You can go all out Holy, these sinners must be squashed like the others"

Ganfall's empression was thunderous as he takes to the sky with Pierre "That is Enaru's last priest as well as the strongest of his subordinates, we must take him out"

Zoro meanwhile had his sights on something else "Damn snake why do you keep showing up, leave us alone asshat!"

There was a stare down between everyone, until predictably Wiper shoots first, Zoro and Kaya just barely dodging a shot from his Burn Bazooka, starting the fighting off with a bang and a flash of blue fire.

"You missed" Zoro smirks, ticking Wiper off even more… somehow

"Incolent Blue Sea weaklings, you think you can just come up here and take what's ours?" he screams, aiming his bazooka again "This Is Shandora!"

"We don't want to be a part of your conflict" Kaya admits, though pulling her revolvers from her arms

"Right. You idiots can blow each other, Hell this whole sky island apart for all I care, we're just here for the gold" Zoro adds, swinging at Wiper, who parries with his seastone skates

Wiper growls "I should have killed you when I had the chance" he fires, but the shot went wide due to a syrup whip, the shandorian then having to dodge a round of pistol fire, though all 3 had to separate to avoid being crushed by the giant snake, who was crashing and chomping his way through the upper ruins

"Note to self, avoid the acid fanged snake" Zoro mumbles to himself, before running into a dog standing on his hind legs "Ok, that's weird"

"This is Holy, I taught him a lot of things, most importantly how to stand on 2 legs, an box like a champion. Show him how it's done boy" Ohm explains/boasts then points towards the straw hats who gulp, before his attention turns skyward, blocking a lance strike from Ganfall with his sword "Ganfall! Shura already beat you, why don't you give up, are you that intent on dying old man?"

"I don't know what Eneru has planned, but I will glad give my life to putting an end to his tyranny" Ganfall replies seriously

Ohm sighs "Then you are a fool"

 _Meanwhile_

"Hurry up, the Divine Warriors are catching up" Aisa whines, still clinging to Nami's waist

"I'd love to… only I have no idea where I'm going" Nami shouts, just as a large stalk could be seen through the trees

"Head for Giant Jack, Wiper's there, and some Blue sea people" Aisa commands, Nami agreeing mostly to reunite with at least some of her crewmates, partly so she has meat shields in case Eneru comes looking for her again.

"They're heading for Giant Jack, we can't let them reach God's shrine"

"Leave us alone!" Nami screams behind her, pushing the waver to go faster

Back in the ruins

Zoro once more leaps from a building as the Lord of the Sky smashes through it, cursing the creature's existence, as well as it's unpredictable nature, when he sees something out the corner of his eye that chills him to the bone

'Chopper? Valentina? Victor?' he thinks fearfully "Kaya, we got men down" he shouts as he runs towards them as quick as he could

"Hm, so they were part of your team" Ohm notes impassively "Watch your step"

"Hm?"

 _Shing_

Zoro hisses as something slashes against him as well as knock him back, the swordsman's eyes widen when it stops and he can see it "Barbed wire?" he thinks aloud, as Kaya catches up to him

"Oh God, are any of you okay? Come on, move, speak, blow up, something!" Kaya whimpers as she checks over the 3 straw hats, their wounds severe and painful

"Those are Iron cloud, light as a cloud but hard as iron, blown into shape with a Milky Dial. I've set up several of those dials with hidden triggers around this area, and both you and your friends have seen the end result of activating them" Ohm explains, watching them from Holy's head "This entire area is the weapon, I don't need to attack you, your clueless blundering will kill you without me needing to lay a finger on you" he gloats "I'm partly responsible for their condition, but they are as well, for entering my ordeal and triggering the dials" he sighs as Zoro turns to face him "I suppose you're going to try take revenge now?"

"No" Zoro answers, suprising those in hearing range "Believe it or not, but I don't usually like to fight for THAT reason"

Ohm smirks "I'm impressed"

"I'm not done" Zoro interrupts "I said usually, you hurt my friends, that makes this personal. I will end you" he states with an edge sharper than Yoru

Zoro jumps around, striking and missing as much as dodging return jabs from Holy, Ohm not moving from it's head while doing so, his shaded eyes making it difficult to tell what he was thinking

'Just keep moving around mutt, the more you do, the more openings you giv…' his thoughts were interrupted as his side was nearly torn open, why Ohm's sword which snakes out and slashes him "What the fuck is that?"

Ohm chuckles "Typical Blue sea fool, didn't expect that. My sword is made of iron cloud, or more accurately it's formed from Iron cloud expelled from a dial conviently imbedded in the hilt, and it will hunt it's prey to the ends of the Earth!" Ohm states before swinging, luckily Zoro was able to block the strike with 2 blades. He then frowns and looks to his steed "We're going to need to split up Holy, things are about to get busy up here"

Zoro looks confused until they hear the puff of skates as people shoot out of the clouds, both Divine Warriors and rebel Shandorians, all still fighting one another, shortly followed by Nami and Aisa being chased by 3 more goat men, Zoro Ganfall and Wiper unintentionally teaming up to rescue them, before the winged wanker decided the best corse of action was deep frying Nami, even though Aisa was still technically attached to her, luckily Ganfall/Piere was faster than The Burn Bazooka

"Thanks Ganfall, I think we really owe you for this one" Nami pants, her heart throbbing in her throat

"Wiper, you're a monster!" Aisa screams, still clinging to Nami like the child she is

"What are you 2 doing up here?" Ganfall asks/scolds the 2 girls

"It wasn't intentional, we were chased by this giant…" Nami pauses, her eyes shrink to pin prick as the snake appears behind Pierre, jaw fully extended before devouring the 4 and swallowing them whole.

"Nami!"

"Aisa"

Slam

The distraction was taken full advantage of by Ohm and Holy, who slice Zoro up bad and punched Wiper through a ruined wall respectively

"Wiper!" Yelled several shandorians

"Zoro!" Kaya screams, seeing the swordsman fall

 _With the Merry_

"We. Have. Arrived." Kaos sighs in relief as they drop anchor, the ship now in the predetermined meet up spot, now was a matter of the rest of them getting back

"That's good, how long do you think it'll be before the others get here?" Connis asks, helping nurse Sanji and Ussop back to health

"Given they pissed off God, we may need to go get them" Artemis answers bluntly, causing the researcher to try suppress a hissing chuckle.

"She has a point, once these 2 are either able to move, or guard the ship we can head out, I'm sure Lasoo is itching to destroy something" Kaos agrees, then smiles as the dopey looking bazooka dog nods and nuzzles his leg "Also we need to get your dad to turn off the horn, it's more likely to draw unwanted attention than scare it away" he says to Connis, who panics and runs off to stop Paguya, to the pirate's amusement.

TBC

LW: The survival game is running out, and only Ohm and Enaru are still standing on God's side (well those worth mentioning at least), also fun fact: The snake has taken out more straw hats than Enaru or Ohm, but not the 2 together.


	54. Zoro and Kaya, Support Rank A

LW: So now the fight with Ohm and his Aizen Dial (Damn it Tekking!) against Zoro and Kaya. Also most of the crew is out of commission for a number of reasons, mostly giant snake, struck by lightning or attacked by cloudwire.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Zoro and Kaya, Support Rank A+.

"Let's see how many players we have in this game, Me, Holy, Lord of the Sky, 4 Divine Warriors, 2 Blue sea people and 4 Shandorians, 11 people and 2 animals, we have a little work left to do to pair that down to 5 like God predicted" Ohm gloats, the divine squad bleeting as Kaya runs over to Zoro and the remaining Shandorians attack Ohm head on and get taken out by his dog, before the animal sets of a load of Tripwire milky dials, forming an iron cloud cage around the ruined area, beginning the True Ordeal of Iron

"So you can make fences, big Whoop" Zoro scoffs as he pulls himself up "You hurt our friends, so we had no intention of running right Kaya?"

"Right" she nods, loading her guns with a stony look on her face

"Foolish fools, the White Barbs aren't just to stop you running away" one of the goat men laughs, until he's kicked into the fence by Wiper, screaming in pain before passing out

"Huh, the bars hurt, thanks for the heads up" he says with a shrug, the turns to Ohm

"So if this cage is so tough, where's the exit for when we kick all of your asses?" Zoro asks, not seeing any gaps or weaknesses in the cage

"You can worry about that if you survive"

"Wiper!" the man in question, as well as the 2 remaining Straw Hats turn, seeing a screaming shandorian running towards the barrier

"Locki? What are you doing here?"

"I had to come; to give you Kamakiri's warning. Run away, abandon this fight. Enaru is in the forest, he is lightning itself he truly has the powers of a God"

"Lightning Logia, we fucking called it" Zoro chuckles, getting a nod from their own logia

 _ **Zap**_

"Locki!" Wiper shouts as Enaru appears, then cuts her down with a bolt of lightning "Enaru! I'll destroy you!"

"Oh please, an insect like you has no chance against a God. Though I'll get to you eventually Wiper, just not quite yet" Enaru laughs before fading into electricity once more

"Wiper" Ohm calls to the shandorian, currently unmoving and unresponsive "Weep not for her, your friend has received the divine judgement all God's children pray for" (Well… all 4 priests are messed up I guess)

The swordsman groans "Since we're getting all sentimental, there's something personal I need to deal with" he says, for once having the same target as Wiper

"The snake!" the 2 pirates and Shandorian run towards the animal, Wiper firing at them along the way because he's a dick, until…

 **Eisen Whip**

… Ohm decided to deal with the wingless ones first, sending his iron cloud blade to seek and destroy, luckily Zoro was able to block, even if it did throw him back, leaving the snake to deal with the minor annoyance (for something his size) of Wiper and his Burn Bazooka, which only managed to annoy it more by burning it's tongue

"Damn it, between the priest and the snake, not do mention the idiot with the bazooka our chances of rescuing Nami and the others is getting lower by the minute" Zoro grumbles, as the 2 make their way through the ruins, trying to avoid getting flambéed, or sliced with cloud iron

 **Eisen Whip**

"Zoro!" was screamed just before someone slammed into his back, the green haired swordsman watched as their medic was sliced at the waist by Ohm's cloud iron whip sword. His mind seized until he saw the blade recalled, while having a similar consistency he knew humans didn't have yellow blood (He's half right, blood plasma is actually a straw yellow colour when separated from the other materials in blood, and Sea cucumbers have yellow blood due to having Vanadium in theirs instead of Iron)

"Rejoice, your friend has found salvation in God's eyes" Ohm declares, sheathing his sword

 _Teke teke teke teke_

Ohm's glasses slip and Wiper gasps as while Kaya's lower half melts she hobbles on her hands closer to Zoro, then the stump that was her hips bubbled before reabsorbing the honey coloured slime and moulding it into useable legs, doing an impromptu cartwheel to right herself "I may not be God, but I'm the next Ame Ame girl" Kaya winks, shooting 2 of the remaining Divine Warriors in the confusion "Logia fruit eaters, we're hard to injure never mind kill"

Ohm frowns "I guess I'll leave you in God's hands" he sighs, then turns as Zoro leaps at him with 2 swords

 **Nintoryu: Taka Nami** (Hawk Wave)

 **Eisen Back**

The blades were stopped by a wall of cloud iron, leading Zoro to basically crash into the solid structure "An Iron Wall?"

"Weren't you paying attention, my blade is made of cloud iron, and since clouds don't have a set shape, I can mould it into whatever I choose. It makes a perfect defence as well as an offence" Ohm explains as it retracts back into sword form

"A shape shifting sword? Where's the lanky bastard when you need him?" the swordsman grunts as he tries come up with a plan (it was a toss up between Kaos being in this fight and another 1 in the hopeful near future, I chose that one instead), meanwhile dodging the multitude of forms Ohm contorted his weapon into

 **Eisen Fan**

 **Eisen Fork**

 **Eisen Rapier**

"He's predicting my moves, and Kaya doesn't miss this much so he's doing that while dodging her shots, but how?" he thinks aloud, drawn back into the fight itself by the priests laugh

"Staying all the way over there? Not going to do you much good when you depend on those swords to deal damage" he taunts, pushing up his shades

"I'll show you, I don't need to be right next to you, to hurt you"

 **72 Calibre Pheonix**

 **Eisen Whip**

'Fuck! How'd he manage to block it?' Zoro thinks before the 2 blue sea dwellers have to run to avoid more strikes from his whip blade

"It's like he can see the future or something" Kaya pants, what felt like a safe distance away

"Not the future, or else he wouldn't have been surprised by your reformation, just predict attacks, as well as dodges" Zoro counters, clutching his side "Really accurately I might add"

"So, what do we do, whatever power his uses, it's really strong"

"Well it works on line of sight, or at least appears to, so if we could attack him through something else then we might have a chance to at least take him by surprise"

Kaya nods "And in case it doesn't… I may be able to provide a distraction, to give you an opening to strike true when you're ready"

Zoro chuckles "I think that might just win us this trial" he says, removing his goggles and trying his bandana over his head.

It was then Ohm made his prescience known, speaking to Zoro as if the wall between them was either glass or non existent "So you're the leader of the Blue Sea people up here?" he greets/questions "You and your crew put up a good fight, however my sword is pointed directly at your heart, and I will soon free you from your greed and suffering. Say your prayers swordsman"

"I never pray for anything, why should I start now?" Zoro asks, just before putting Wado into his mouth

"That's too bad, you should have tried harder to survive!"

 _Crack. Smash_

 **108 Calibre Phoenix!**

Just as Zoro releases his technique, Ohm's Eisen Dial shatters in a spike ball of yellow syrup, stabbing through his hand and cutting the flow of iron cloud, leaving him wide open for a borderline evisceration from Zoro's strongest ranged attack

"That worked well, you're getting good at that pin cushion thing Kaya" Zoro smirks as he sheathes his swords, amused by the lemon yellow blush her syrup form produced

"It's nothing, I didn't even know it would be able to effect a dial the way it did… oh crap the doggo" she shouts, both dodging the punch, then nearly faceplanting when they see the animal now sitting in front of them, clearly awaiting orders

"You obey anyone don't you?" Zoro asks, getting a nod from the dog "Guess he is well trained. Hey screw it, go knock yourself out" he handwave, then stares in shock when the dog does as asked, falling to the ground with a painful bump to the noggin "Who's tally do we add that one to?" he asks in jest, before running in the direction of Wiper and the snake, while Kaya checks on their injured crewmates.

 _With Robin_

"Shandora, the City of Gold, home of one of the poneglyphs, but where is it's Golden Bell?" Robin wonders aloud, standing before Giant Jack "The Belfry should be here, or near here and the Bell should be engraved with poneglyphs. If so, then the City fell, protecting the information written on it. They should be here, even after all this time… but they're not, at least not anywhere I can see" she sighs deeply "They're hidden, and I will find them" she then sees something on the ground "Hm, this city had railways, but these are new, something was transported through here recently, but what?"

Deep chuckles are heard above "Isn't it amazing, even after being blown up into the sky, the City of Shandora still exists, mostly intact even" Enaru smirks, biting into his apple "Even if it's the city everyone knows, how can it show off it's majesty covered in clouds? I'm the only one who CAN see it, I discovered it, and the former God's never even noticed"

"And who are you?" Robin asked

"I'm God of course"

"Eneru then" Robin hums, looking at the tall man with drums on his back, arranged into an ornamental ring. Unlike the other sky people this man had no wings, though the drums seemed to originate in the same spot where wings SHOULD be, and had long earlobes as well as gold rings on several of his fingers and toes

"You're quiet a bright girl, I presume you're an archaeologist, based on how quickly you found this city of ruins" Eneru continues, seeming to ignore the use of his name "it took us several months to find the same thing, good work" he smirks "I presume it's easier when you can read the squiggles on the walls, like I bet you can Miss Archaeologist. Unfortunately the gold you're looking for isn't here anymore, you're a few years too late for that"

"That is true, I haven't seen any gold despite the fact it should be plentiful given it's original title of the region. I presume you're the one who removed it?" Robin states/asks

"Gold is a wonderful, conductive metal, and I think it suits my divine status nicely" Eneru answers, looking smug

"And I guess you also took the gold bell too?"

Eneru's eyebrow rises "Hm, there was a golden bell too?" he muses, finishing his apple "So tell me, what did you learn from the writing on the Bell my dear?"

"Nothing, if you say you never saw it, then it must not exist, the Golden Bell and it's majestic Belfry must be just legends, embellishments of the stories of the City itself"

"No, it must be here, in the sky with us. When Shandoria was shot into the sky and Upper Yard… God's Land was formed, there were tales of a ringing that could be heard all throughout the land" Eneru recalls "The elder inhabitants called it the island's singing voice, but that wasn't it. It was the Bell, this huge, golden Bell. Amazing" he smirks and leans back in his seating position "Soon the game will be over, only 8 minutes left" he says, mostly to himself but Robin was close enough to overhear "That's not long at all, but it gives me just enough time to find that golden bell" he then stops and frowns "There's an escapee" he whispers, raising his hand and releasing a flash of light

"What did you just do?" Robin gasps

"I showed mercy" Eneru replies, clearly not something he does often "A pitiful worm was in a great deal of pain, so I saved him by releasing him from his torment" (Seems he's where Ohm got his kill to save mentality then) "Now if you'll excuse me I need to set events in motion, so my true plans can come to fruition"

"What plan, all I've seen is mayhem and ignorance"

Eneru chuckles "The Sky Lord calls you, heed my call lowly being and come to me!" he bellows, releasing a shockwave of lightning that blinds Robin as well as shooting up the beanstalk to the arena containing Zoro, Wiper, Lord of the Sky, and the others.

"And now we bring the Survival Games, to their climactic finale!" he laughs giddily, while Robin stares in shock

 _On the Merry_

"Connis, the fox is freaking out" Artemis yells, getting the others to run over to her and Suu, where they see a skypeian pull himself out of the forests, just barely conscious

"Another patient" Kaos says humourlessly, as he shimmers over to the man, Conis and Paguya following slowly behind as he's propped up against a tree root for stability

"Who are you?" Connis asks

"I, was one of the men, who served under Ganfall when he was God" the man wheezes

"So you're one of the Divine Warriors" Paguya gasps

"Yes. And you need to get this message back to everyone: Eneru, he's returning everything" at their looks of confusion he elaborates "He's going to send Upper Yard, back into the Blue Sea World, and this nation will no longer exist"

' _Well, shit'_ thought the 2 straw hats, while Paguya's face darkens and Conis turns a sickly pale

"That's impossi…" he stops when the Divine Warrior grabs his shirt

"You need to tell everyone, Eneru is planning to eliminate every living soul in the sky"

"Every living soul! But if he does that, there will be nobody for him to rule over, or anywhere for him to live, that doesn't make sense"

"Well he didn't exactly look sane when he showed up on the ship flash fried 2 of our crewmates and said have fun with the Survival Game, now did he?" Kaos asks, looking annoyed, and also worried

"He's built an ark, the Ark Maxim!"

"Ark, maxim?"

 _ **ZING**_

"FATHER!" Conis screams, as silver arms wrap around her waist and she's pulled, brought back to the Merry at high speed, narrowly avoiding a direct hit from one of Enaru's Master Bolts.

 **FUCK**

No other reaction worked to describe the level of destruction, Eneru basically atomising an area of Upper Yard as well as throwing the Merry like a dingy, the most badly effected obviously being Connis, as her father had been caught in the blast radius, crying in a ball where Kaos left her, until she stopped, pulled herself slowly to her feet and turns to the remaining Straw Hats "I can't just stay here and mope, Eneru is going to wipe Skypeia off the map... I have to go now, and warn the others"

"Do you think they'll listen?"

"Do you want us to come with you?"

"They might not, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try. As for company… Sanji and Usopp, as well as your other friends need you more, this is something I must do, for myself, father and my people" the 2 watched her leave, hoping the locals would see sense, if only for Conis' sake.

 _Back in the cage fight_

"Why won't you die!?" Wiper shouts after another of many failed attempts to injure the snake, never mind kill it and rescue Aisa from its belly. Zoro joining the fight didn't do much either, not even leaving a scratch on him

'Damn, what's it's scales made of, they must be harder than steel' Zoro mentally curses, knowing he was running out of time t save Nami and the old man, but nothing was working

 _ **Songo**_

A shockwave of blue energy struck the Upper Ruins, tearing the ancient structure apart, as well as sending them all crashing down to the lower ruins, where Eneru and Robin currently resided.

"What the fuck?"

"This is Eneru's doing, nothing else is this powerful" Wiper shouts as they all fall, Kaya trying to protect the unconscious trio with her syrup, while Zoro keeps his distance so as not to have her worrying about him and risking the others safety.

In the commotion, it was understandable nobody noticed Nami and Ganfall flying out of the snake's mouth, though it didn't help them much as they were in freefall just as much as the others, just now didn't have a giant snake to cushion their fall, in fact she might end up falling on them instead.

"What. The. Fuck?" Robin forwent any attempt at an intellectual response, there was none when ruins fell from the sky, though the shifting rubble did draw her eye, as well as the cause of it "Zoro, Kaya, you didn't fall down here in that crash did you?" she asks in shock, getting a grunt from Zoro and a tired nod from Kaya, having recalled her syrup once they hit the ground, as relative a term as that was up here.

"Good to see you too, nice to see you surivied all this. Now where the hell are we?" Zoro asks

"This is the City of Gold we were after, minus the gold unfortunately. Eneru already stripped it bare"

"Nami's not going to like that" Kaya sighs, their navigator was going to be pissed, provided she survived the giant snake

"Ow my ass" Nami groans as she gets up "Thanks for nothing you old weirdo"

"We were lucky to land on these clouds, given all the debris, we could have died VERY painfully in the fall" Ganfall sighs, readjusting his armour, knowing another fight was inevitable

Nami frowns as she looks around "We left Luffy, Aisa and the others in the belly of the beast"

"Yes, but we also sent Pierre back to retrieve them, do not blame yourself for something outside your control Miss Navigator"

Nami sees the giant snake acting weird out the corner of her eye "Is it just me, or does the snake look like it's looking for something? Well either that or Luffy's playing with it's insides again, which got us into this mess in the first place" she continues to observe until… "I think it's crying" she gasps, not knowing they could even do that, the bellows that followed actually containing a rather mournful tone to it, pulling at her heart

 **EL THOR**

Which imidiately shattered when the animal was stuck with a bolt of electricity, showing the power difference between Eneru and the others pretty definitely given they couldn't even cut it and he just knocked her the fuck out. Zoro had a momentary panic attack seeing that and assuming it meant Nami was charcoal, until she noticed them and popped her head out to greet them.

"I'm fine, it's just Luffy…"

"Shit, there were more people in that thing?" Zoro facepalms, while Kaya tenses, Robin now watching the snake to see if anything came out of it's mouth as the beast slumped to the floor with an almighty thud

As to be expected, the moment was interrupted by Eneru making it all about him, appearing above them on a ball cloud, not to dissimilar to Hotori's introduction

"Well done, I'm happy so many of you have made it this far, I extend my welcome to you survivors. And now the game is explained, it was to see how many of the original 87 of you, including myself, survived after 3 hours on this island. The 1 survivor is the winner of course. A few amongst you were latecomers to the game, however I allow you to stay, out of the goodness of my heart, as well as making the game more interesting. Now the 5 of us (Like canon: Eneru, Wiper, Ganfall, Zoro & Robin. Kaya is hidden with Nami, working on their friends) will compete in the final stage of the game. In the next few minutes, the 3 hours will be up, meaning the 7 people here are too many"

The swearing coming from Nami's hiding place (as she'd assumed 5 meant he didn't notice her and Kaya) even drew looks of shock from Wiper and a raise of the eyebrows of Eneru himself.

"The one thing I know, is God's prophecy will not falter, because he is absolute. I wonder who will die, and how you will kill them? Will you all fight each other and see who falls, gang up on one of the weaklings hiding from my eyes, or maybe you'll resist your fate and I'll be forced to intervene, which won't be any fun at all"

It seems all it takes to turn 3 factions into one, is a huge dickhead with a god complex telling them to kill each other, Weapons were drawn, and pointed to the logia Birkan floating above them

"I'm not killing on your command; you're the one who will die Eneru!" They declared, except Nami and Kaya, though the syrup girl did check her guns were correctly loaded in case the lightning man came a zapping

TBC

LW: And cut! Sorry for the delay everyone, there were a few issues that needed work outside of this series, and as such I was a little behind on everything else. There shouldn't be any more issues, and the next chapter should come out at the expected time of next Sunday.

Thank you for continuing to read this story, goodnight


	55. Striking God

LW: Time for Eneru to actually do shit, good luck for the rest of them.

Rubber King and Mirror Master – Striking God

"You really think any of you insects, even fighting together can even injure me?" Eneru asks, laughing manically "You don't know what you're dealing with, nor could you even comprehend my power" he boasts, spinning his staff before beginning to unleash/show off his fruit's power, his hands glowing as they shifted into lightning "So many disprite souls, unable to see that it's all for naught"

Ganfal snarls, swinging the Heat Lance in Eneru's direction "Enough of this monologuing, where are my Divine Warriors? And what are your plans for this place?"

"Why an Ascension of course" Eneru answers blandly "Namely mine"

"What, you're saying you're leaving Skypeia?" the old man gasp in shock

"Correct. On my home island there were legends of a place known as God's Home, the Fairy Verth, where the ground extends in all directions as far as the eye can see! It's my dream, my goal, my destiny to find this paradise, and rule it as the God I truly am!" His smile lessons as he turns to the fighters "My battles over the Upper Yard, are worthless in consequence when compared to that. Everything around you is an abomination, an affront to the natural order"

"Now what are you blathering about?" Wiper growls, not having taken his bazooka'a sights off Eneru even as he floats down to the stone across from them

"This place, is unnatural, it's in the sky, but it's earth not cloud, it floats amongst those clouds but it's no bird or bat. This place is wrong on a fundamental level, so it should come as no surprise that as God, an enforcer of the rules of the universe I only have one course of action"

Robin's eyes widen and her skin pales "You're going to drop Shandora, back into the Blue Sea, back into the Grand Line" the Straw Hats were horrified, while Ganfall and Wiper were inciced.

"You fool, God is a title to refer to the island's leader, it doesn't give you the right to decide who lives and dies, or to use your subjects like playthings"

Eneru chuckles, sitting down on the stone "You asked about your former warriors" he says, confusing his opponents as he picks up a handful of pebbles in his fist "As I told you they've been doing my bidding since I captured them all those years ago… until today" a pulse of his power and sand spills from between his fingers "The people you see before you, are the only ones still alive on this floating abomination" he says with a sneer

Ganfall recoils as if struck "You killed them?"

"Yes. Well technically I defended myself, I told them my plans and they chose to challenge me… so I destroyed them"

"You are a Devil!" Ganfall screams as he charges, Eneru not even trying to defend himself as he tosses his staff away, Ganfall's lance felt not resistance as it phased through his lightning body, Eneru zipping to his predecessor's side before charging an attack

 **5 million**

 **10 million**

 **20 million volts**

 **Bari**

 _Zap_

Ganfall drops like a stone, charged black from the electrical blast, not helped by the knight's metal armour

"There is a god on this island, and that God is me" Eneru says, grinning before catching his staff and turning to the remaining fighters

"It's the Goro Goro no mi" Wiper gasps

"Shit, even for a logia it's said this fruit is powerful enough that its user is basically invincible" Robin says with a grimace

"So you're saying it doesn't have a weakness we can exploit, like Crocodile and Gaspard?" Zoro asks through clenched teeth

"How do you fight a lightning storm swordsman?" Robin asks in response, shutting him up

"And so it has come to pass, my prophecy made true. Come with me as we reach the alter of my ascension, and passage to the Fairy Verth"

"Why should we?" Zoro asks, the others nod as they too wondered why they should follow a psychopath like Eneru anywhere

"Because I plan to turn the Fairy Verth into a kingdom of Godhood, where only the worthy can be in my prescience, failures, like my worthless subordinates can be left to rot, while you all passed the test, and are granted entrance to my domain"

"And if we refuse?" Robin asks stonely, ignoring Nami's hissing yells to shut up and confusing Eneru something awful

"What? But why would you refuse my gift? If you stay here you'll be destroyed along with everything else in this unnatural nation"

"I don't doubt you can destroy Upper Yard in a single blow, your fruit's reputation precedes you, but if you destroy this place, you'll also destroy something very precious to you as well"

"You mean the Golden Bell don't you?"

"Yes, the Golden Bell"

Eneru laughs "Oh don't worry, I've already made arrangements. And given I know where you all went as you traipsed around Upper Yard, I know exactly where the Bell is" he says, surprising Robin to the point she had no response "Yes I've already figured it out, did you really think a mere human such as yourself could be better than me in any way?"

"I might be spending too much time around Luffy and Kaos which is why this was even an option, but yeah I kind of did" Robin admits, just before getting a lightning bolt to the face from an annoyed looking Eneru, luckily getting caught by Zoro before she cracked her skull off the stone ground

"You've gone too far"

"I'm God bitch, I do what I like" Enaru laughs, lazily blocking Zoro's charging sword strike, then manoeuvring around his 2nd blade rather than use his intangibility, this did put him in an open position in the air…

 **Burn Bazooka**

 **Bari**

Unfortunately his lightning power was stronger than Wiper's bazooka, something his dispatching of Nola implied, and was now 100 % confirmed

"Fighting is pointless, you'd make better use of your time preparing for the journey to the Fairy Verth, the worthy shall be leaving soon, together" Eneru says casually, his expression that of boredom

"And what makes you think, any of us would follow you willingly?" Zoro asks, irritating Eneru as yet another Blue Sea dweller denies his offer "I don't give a fuck about your dream land, you and your minions hurt my crew, my friends, and I'm going to carve payment from your twitching corpse, maybe even give that fruit of yours to Kaos and see what he wants to do with it" he shouts, once more running at Eneru, cleaving through both him and the stone wall behind him, though it had no effect

"I possess a power you mortals can't…"

 _ **Ocelot needles**_

"Kaya, he was leaving us alone, why's you fire?" Nami shrieks in the medic/gunslinger/syrup girl's ear, especially when the syrup bullets, turned spikes did as much damage as Zoro's swords did, nil.

"Close, but still not divine level power little girl. Now to show you divine punishment" he scolds her, then shoots a bolt at her, before discharging his power through Zoro's swords, taking him down too.

"Oh no" Nami whimpers as both collapse, Kaya coughing up a syrupy river before dropping onto her back, mildly burned compared to the others, but still down for the count.

Eneru was savouring his victory, when Wiper jumps on him "What's with all you people wanting to die all of a sudden?" his asks, partly out of amusement, and the other frustration

"Are you familiar with Sea Prison Stone?" Wiper asks, Eneru realising why he asked when he tried and failed to use his powers to instakill the Shandorian, the look of confusion and even fear in the so called God's eyes made Wiper smile "You have, it neutralises the powers of Devil Fruit users, meaning I can do this, as if you were any other man" he places his bandaged hand on Eneru's chest "Now Die!"

 **Reject Dial**

The blast throws Wiper a good few feet from the blast radius, as well as leaving him with severe burns across his body and his right arm most likely rendered useless. It was too bad being made of electricity, it was a trivial matter for Eneru to restart his heart now the sea stone wasn't touching him, his entire body acting like an organic defibulator, his chest convulsing with each pulse. Then he slowly sat up, his face twisted into a cruel visage of an angry god.

"Should have aimed for the head, boy" he says, the smugness returning to his face and voice, before tapping his staff against one of the drums on his back, producing an electrical construct

 _ **30 million Volt Hino**_

A literal thunderbird slammed through Wiper, finally finishing the job the Rject dial's lethal recoil started, while Zoro acquired one of his broken skates, as once he had the sea stone on Eneru's body again, he could be cut up as easily as an ordinary human, in fact easier, given his remembered what happened to Luffy when they were in Crocodile's Sea Stone cage.

"Still you fight, you're stronger than I expected swordsman" Eneru half asses a compliment, then taps the opposite drum, charging another attack

 _ **Kiten**_

The lightning cat hits its mark, sending Zoro to the ground, unresponsive. Now only Nami and Eneru remain, and the navigator didn't like her chances.

' _This… monster, nothing can stop him. If he can take out Zoro like he's some nobody, not even Luffy or Kaos could beat him'_ Nami thinks, her mind screaming to run as Eneru turns, setting his sights on her, then stops when he see's Wiper is still standing, or had gotten back up while he was dealing with Zoro

"Are you still trying to fight me? You're literally at death's door, give up." He then smirks "You said you've been fighting for this island for 400 years, yet in all this time, you are the only one to reach the City. No wonder this place will be destroyed so soon, it's a land of weaklings. You're fighting for a lost cause, a hopeless endeavour, can't you see this place will never be yours? So why get back up, why challenge me despite having already been knocked down several times already?

"For my Ascestors, for the people of Shandora" He wheezes

Eneru sighs "I really was hoping for a better answer than that, (Not sure why that line made me laugh, but it did) though in your defence I'm not sure how much of your brain isn't cooked right now" he muses, shifting his arm into lightning

 **El Thor**

The quite literal pillar of light slammed into Wiper with a blinding flash, the shockwave throwing everyone except Eneru back several feet and leaving a massive crater where the shandorian once was

"Of all the people who reached the end of my trial, only you are still standing" Nami freezes when she hears Eneru's voice just behind her, as well as the crackle of electricity sparking across his skin

"I-i-is the invitation to go with you to the Fairy Verth still open?" Nami asks, trying to hold back her fear, and mostly succeeding "I've always wanted to go to such an amazing place

Eneru looks at her blankly for a few minutes before nodding and turning on his heels "Of course, follow me" he says calmly, almostl robotically, Nami timidly wheeling the Waver behind her as they walk. "Do you mourn them?" he asks, sensing her looking between each still body

"Um, no Sir, not me"

Eneru chuckles "There's not need for the formal heirs, express yourself, just don't make the same mistakes those fools did in challenging the power of God"

After little while walking Eneru leads Nami to a cavern/mine, the particions all marked with the same 3 Tomoe as his drums.

"Um excuse me…" Nami begins, wanting to aks where they were going

"Keep your mouth shut and follow me" Eneru snaps, though without a change in tone

'ok then' Nami thinks, jumping back a little at the dismissal, though continues to follow him to the central chamber.

"So what do you think?" Enaru asks "It's the only one of it's kind in the world, and it can only be controlled by me. In other words, it's lightning powered" he explains, revealing the Arc Maxim "The gold I harvested is the perfect conductor for my powers, so my limitless power will see this majestic work soar. Might as well let the people on this island see God's ship before it's annihilation"

 _Meanwhile_

"We're NEVER taking directions from you again!" Vivi screams as she punches Luffy's head into the stone ground, the 4 of them and 1 horse/bird/thing having just fallen out of the Giant Snake's mouth, after taking a slight detour to it's eye

"Relax Vivi, we made it out alive and without injury" Alvida tries to assure her, meanwhile taking in her surroundings "Man, wherever we are, the locals sure let it go to shit"

"This, it's Shandora, our homeland" Aisa whispers, her brain going into shock, until a certain idiot ran past/through her "Luffy!"

"Oh Rao" Vivi whimpers, seeing the devastation, as well as their friends in such bad condition

"Zoro! What happened? Who did this to you?" he asks, shaking the swordsman more violently than he probably should, meanwhile Ganfall and Wiper were found by Pierre and Aisa respectively

"Wait a minute, where's Nami?" the bluenette asks aloud, being the only straw hat unacounted for, at least that they knew was on Upper Yard and wasn't cut or burned to fuck all around them

"It was Eneru, he did this" Aisa states, tears running down her face and she sits beside Wiper's unresponsive body

"That God guy?" Luffy asks, frowning heavily, then seeing movement out the corner of his eye "Robin! You're alive!"

"Nami, she went, with him" Robin croaks, her eyes unfocused and barely meeting Luffy's gaze

"So God took Nami?" the captain asks, to which she nods weakly "Guess I'm kicking some dickhead's ass to save Nami, again. Where did she go?"

"I don't know. But you need to hurry, if Eneru isn't stopped, all of Skypeia will be lost"

"Lost? What the hell are you talking about?" Alvida asks, confused and angry with what she sees in front of her

"Everything up here will fall. Eneru said this place, it was unnatural, so he plans to destroy it all, on his way to the so called Fairy

Verth"

"Eneru still wants that Golden Bell, he won't leave or destroy Skypeia without it" Luffy states confidently

"Exactly, so you need to stop him before it finds it, no matter the cost"

"Don't worry, I know where they are" the remaining straw hats all look over to Aisa, her fists clenched nearly hard enough to bleed "There are only 2 other voices in Upper Yard, they have to be Eneru and Nami. I will lead you there, in you promise to stop him"

Luffy lays Robin in his girl's arms, standing to his full height "That's something I have no problem agreeing to" he declares, his face serious, the jovial adventurer gone from the island.

 _On the Maxim_

"Yaaaaa ha ha ha" Eneru laughs, sitting on his throne/control centre to his vessel, confusing Nami, as well as making her worry "Remember your friend from Angel Island? She seems to be making quite a stir over in the village, it's quite fun to listen in"

The navigator blinks "Connis? But she should still be on the Merry" she thinks aloud

"Don't worry, your ship is still where it was when you left, just lacking your sky friend" Eneru responds dismissively "Not that it really matters"

Nami winces, worry creeping in as she tries come up with a distraction "So, this Mantra thing you guys have up here… how does it work, can you zero in on a specific person or is it just an all at once thing?"

"Not usually, most lack the ability to focus that strongly in our ability, but I can. I'm unique that way. The combination of my Mantra and I believe your friend called my lightning powers Goro Goro no mi, I'm able to pick up electrical vibrations, listen in on conversations, I see all as a divine being should. And when I hear things, that shouldn't be said, well I cast judgement on them. My power extends throughout the entirety of this land. This land is reaching it's swan song, a party on angels singing to the tune of my powers, Yaaa ha ha ha"

' _Why do I keep finding the crazies, he makes the crew look normal. I HAVE to get out of here soon'_ Nami thinks in a panic, then realises Eneru was watching her and frowning "Is something wrong sir?"

Eneru turns his head, his frown deepening "No, it's nothing" he answers, though his focus remained on something beyond his Ark. There was silence for a few minutes before he speaks again "No, they weren't among the 5, so where were they?" he wonders aloud

"Eneru" Nami whispers before the man leaps to the edge of the ark, just as there was commotion below

"There is nothing I hate more than my predictions being wrong" he scowls, looking down his nose at Luffy as he enters the cave.

There was a moment of silence, and the audible intake of breath, followed by "HEY! ARE YOU THE GUY THEY CALL GOD? ENERU?" Luffy yells at full volume, making Nami face palm despite everything going on, before her brain catche up with itself and she throws herself at the edge of the ship to see her captain had arrived, she had a chance "You hurt some friends of mine, so I'm going to kick your ass!"

Eneru scoffs "Those weaklings were your friends? Pitiful"

"Don't go anywhere I'll be up to teach you a lesson shortly"

"Mind your tongue insect, you're speaking to God afterall" he chuckles

"WHAT MAKES YOU GOD ANYWAY!" Luffy shouts as he runs and springs his way up the Ark, the title and current owner starting to piss him off

"Strange as you are, you're just a paramecia, nothing compared to me. No living being can stand in my way, that is what makes me God" Eneru boasts, charging up his fist

 **Sango**

The blinding flash of light seemed to annihilate the pirate, causing Nami, Aisa and Pierre's hearts to drop, until their vision readjusted and they could see a hole in the wall, and a perfectly fine Luffy standing on the edge of the Maxim

"Hm, I'm surprised and a little impressed you were able to dodge that, but let's see you pull that off a 2nd time" he smirks before slapping 2 drums, releasing an electrical attack in the shape of a dragon

 **60 million Volt Julungul**

Luffy tanked the hit, and kept walking, annoying Eneru who zipped over and decided to use the direct approach instead if the other attacks failed

 **100 million Volt Bari**

The acrobatic display seconds later was done partly out of fear, as Eneru realised something everyone who has fought him up to now have: that his attacks did nothing to this boy. This fact was enough to cause everyone elses brain to short for just a moment, as they realised Luffy was their only hope… on in Aisa's case that someone could actually make God run scared.

' _Stay calm, the boy is immune to your lightning but he's a brawler, and given you can't be affected by physical attacks…'_ that line of thought was interrupted by Luffy burying his foot in Eneru's gut, throwing him across the deck of the Maxim

'His electrical powers are completely useless. We wanted to find something to even the playing field, like with the other logias' we've faced, by all we needed was Luffy' Nami thinks, a small part of her amused that if they'd just let Luffy fight the biggest dumbass on the island, like he normally does, this would have been over a lot quicker.

TBC

LW: And that's it for now, hope everyone's enjoying everything so far as the arc is getting closer to the end.

Also in response to a guest reviewer who said this:

 _You should add (Note: Nami Bashing with OOC moments) in your summary. You clearly don't like her and so you just force everyone to act SO out of character around her.  
I'm glad I read this chapter first so I won't tire myself reading a fucking bad-written story where canon characters get bashing for no reason._

Nami is kind of a bitch in my opinion, but the entire crew can be a bunch of assholes when they want to so that doesn't really mean much, Nami is just more noticeable to this person because she canonically gets away with her bitchiness and her anger is usually directed towards Luffy who at least partly deserves her anger due to being a dumbass. The fact Kaos calls her out, and at times gives her a swift kick up the ass is probably the main reason for the perceived Nami bashing, or at least it being on the level of bashing as that wasn't my intention. Plus I personally thought I made fun of Usopp as much as if not more than Nami, but oh well

Having more people interacting with each other and growing because of it, I wonder why some people are acting OOC compared to canon?

Also, what idiot starts anything at chapter 50 of a story, especially when it wasn't even the most recent chapter written?


End file.
